180 Comments

The Case Against the Detroit Lions

| August 3rd, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 10.43.10 AM

The following is the second in a four-part series breaking down why the other teams in the NFC North won’t be contenders this season. (The Packers get two parts.)


You can argue Favre or Rodgers. You can say Moss in his prime or Adrian Peterson. Steve Smith for sure. There are plenty of players who’ve had success over the Bears in the modern era. But no player, not any of those previously mentioned, seemed as consistently unstoppable as Calvin Johnson. If the ball was in the air and Johnson was the target, it was just assumed to be a big play.

A quote from Matthew Stafford at ESPN:

“I think we’re going to do it a little bit differently than we have the in the past,” Stafford said during an interview Tuesday with SiriusXM Radio. “Obviously we used to feature Calvin, and everybody kind of got theirs after that. It’s going to be, I think, tougher for defenses in a certain way in that they don’t know who we’re going to. There’s no guy to key in on.”

Note to Mr. Stafford. In no way will the Lions be more difficult to defend without Johnson. That’s like saying it’ll be easier to make a dinner choice at the Billy Goat once they take burgers (or in this case, borgers) off the menu.

There are four additional reasons I think the Lions are staring at last place in the NFC North.

  • They were only a game better than the Bears a year ago during a season where one team was rebuilding and the other had preseason Super Bowl buzz. The Bears enter 2016 with a far more talented roster. (So do Minnesota and Green Bay.)
  • Outside of Ezekiel Ansah and a never-healthy DeAndre Levy, does the Lions defense has an impact player? Last year they were 23rd in points allowed. Not much reason to believe that unit will improve.
  • Jim Caldwell. Seems like a nice guy. Not a very good coach. And young GM Bob Quinn made the cardinal sin of keeping a coach because the players like him. I’d be surprised if Caldwell isn’t looking for a new gig come January.
  • I keep coming back to the two games they played against the Bears. Detroit won both contests, one at the death of overtime and the other a Week 17 affair where the Bears had ME backing up the right guard. In neither game did this supposedly superior group look superior.

5-11. Last place.

Tagged: ,

  • Joecashflow

    #1. It’s the Lions.

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    Fuck the Lions!!

  • DaMurph

    Cant we just play some football?

    • willbest

      I don’t know looking at the heat exhaustion and muscle pulls and the like, I am willing to say that training camp is a necessary part of conditioning for the season or some of these players might end up dead. Sadly though its a 45 day cock tease

  • MB30SD

    Thus could have been a one sentence post…. “because they are the Detroit lions.”

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    Lions are in a weird spot. They focused on adding talent at O line and have some talent on D but no depth. Their backups at two linebacker spots are Bostic and Greene. Haloti Ngata is a mountain in the middle.
    They have a competent WR corps and a talented TE in Ebron. If Pettigrew comes back from that knee injury that adds another dimension. I do agree that the Lions will spread the ball around more and will use Theo Riddick and Abdullah out of the backfield much much more in the run game. They were last in the league last year. Riddick torched us out of the backfield last year but now with linebackers that run like fucking cheetahs i feel much better about that.
    I think the Lions stay healthy on O and do well but that the D is the issue this year and that, my friends, will put them at 7-9 for the year.

    • Swing Tackle of Destiny

      CJ was a bailout play. Also, the big play down the field. How many intermissions during football Sunday did you hear redneck Bradshaw come on and say “big play down the field to Calvin Johnson”. They don’t have a long ball hitter anymore. Full stop.

      Therefore, safeties play downhill on them and nobody is worried about getting beat deep. They are fucked on O.

      • You’re about to get Jericho’d

        I think they’ll find some balance though and will use the FUCK out of Boldin, Tate and Marvin Jones. They actually have weapons. I wouldn’t count them out but there is a big difference between McClellin and Jones trying to contain the inevitable pressure induced dumpoff to TE or RB than Freeman and Trevathan.

        • MB30SD

          hee hee

          (me being giddy about having real NFL linebackers again)

          • You’re about to get Jericho’d

            it’s crazy how long we didn’t have them. It’s unacceptable what happened over the last few years.

          • DaMurph

            Poor drafting!!

      • Joecashflow

        According to Burleson on NFLN, Jones is the deep guy this year. Might be a fantasy sleeper.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “Lions are in a weird spot. ”

      Yes.

      It’s called “Detroit”.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    The other reason they might be estranged?

    Jordan likes pussy. A lot. Aaron…. not so much. And if Jordan gets pissed enough, he may just let it drop that Munn is a beard.

    http://wgntv.com/2016/07/28/why-aaron-rodgers-no-longer-speaks-to-his-brother-jordan-and-has-not-watched-the-bachelorette/

    • Bobby Douglass

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      • willbest

        Think about what it says. Lets assume Munn is a beard. Erin isn’t going to meet any physical needs she has, and not likely to meet her emotional needs either since his days are going to be spent working out and maintaining form and his nights are going to be spent engaged in discrete liaisons. So she is basically trading any semblance of a healthy relationship for some photo ops with a high status man.

        Something is definitely wrong with a woman willing to do that.

        • Swing Tackle of Destiny

          Something is definitely wrong with a woman willing to do that.

          She got bounced from being a Daily Show correspondent after two months. Word is, she was koo-koo and the others there like Sam Bee and Jason Jones and such did not get along with her. Her career flounders. She is in trouble.

          She agrees to be Aaron’s beard. Suddenly, doors are open again. She’s a superhero in a X-Men film. Things are back on the upswing.

          Hollywood is a David Lynch film, man.

          • MB30SD

            I will, because I’m a gentle-man GP, agree to fulfill her many (and I fantasize, very naughty) needs while erin is off gorking male seals.

            You’re welcome erin, you’re welcome.

          • CanadaBear

            Not to mention she might like the ladies and Erin is her beard.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    In the new Bourne movie, Julia Stiles (still cute at 40), downloads a zip file from the CIA Mainframe entitled “Black Operations”. Just so, you know, the people in CIA knew what it was about.

    And then she throws lighter fluid on her laptop to destroy the evidence. The fire, as far as one can tell, just toasts the keys. The laptop never goes off.

    And this has been Fun With Facts, by GP.

    • willbest

      I got around to watching the star trek movie and all its absurd glory. This one will be up in a few weeks.

      • Swing Tackle of Destiny

        THe one where aliens are blown up by the Beasties being broadcast on VHF. Excellent.

  • BearDown100393

    “Worst quarterback in the NFL,” – Michael Bennett.
    “I’d be open and he’d throw into double coverage,” says Martellus, who spent the past three seasons as Cutler’s teammate in Chicago. – Martellus Bennett

    http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/17201639/seahawks-michael-bennett-patriots-martellus-bennett-vs-everyone

    • willbest

      Bennett had an unusually high INT rate on passes thrown his way if I recall. And there were glaring examples of the ball being thrown to exactly where he would have been if he had run a different route.

      • MB30SD

        for a huge guy he made little effort to protect the ball, go get the ball, run after catching the ball, punish defenders when he had the ball, block defenders when he didn’t have the ball, and in general be a terrible team mate and locker room leader. Good fucking riddance.

        • Bender McLugh

          Uni is just saying this crap so us fans don’t miss him. Oh wait, we we’re already not missing his stupid ass

          • CanadaBear

            Well said!

        • CanadaBear

          I don’t agree with the not punishing defenders or the not blocking. All the other stuff? Damn right!

      • Bender McLugh

        but he was OOOPEN……..

    • You’re about to get Jericho’d

      two fucking clowns in every way imaginable.

      • I can’t imagine hanging out with them longer than 10 mins.
        Imagine rooming with them? ugh.

        • CanadaBear

          They would just wear you out with their BS.

    • Michael Bennett got to play an entire game against Jimmy Clausen last year, yet he somehow thinks Cutler is worse.

      Then again, this is the same dumbass who signed a way sub-market deal in SEA and then started bitching about being underpaid right away. Guess you don’t need brains when you’re an athletic 280 pounder who can tackle.

      • MB30SD

        those two idiots are fucking turrible. Too bad they can’t just shut their big fucking mouths and play football.

        • SC Dave

          I think they’re fun. So many players are just soooo boring.

          • I think a player can be interesting without always whining.

            Like Gronk is a fun interview without the douchbagery.

          • CanadaBear

            Not to put too fine of a point on it but if you’re living Gronk’s life, there’s not too much to whine about!

    • A few stats Martellus Bennett might be interested in:

      In 2014, the year where everybody bashed Cutler for throwing too many INTs, Bennett had the highest INT rate of any of the main targets (http://www.dabearsbeat.com/2015/06/18/who-does-jay-cutler-throw-interceptions-to/). For INTs that were the result of being forced into coverage, Bennett trailed only Marshall.

      I can only assume Bennett is complaining about 2015, because 2014 saw him lead all NFL TEs in targets, catches, and yards and reach his first career Pro Bowl. He certainly wasn’t being ignored by Cutler then.

      So what changed from 13/14 to 15? Bennett’s usage rate actually went up, from getting 18.5% of available targets to 21.3%. His targets per game stayed fairly steady: 6 in 2013, 8 in 2014, 7 in 2015. His yards per catch and yards per target, on the other hand, both plummeted by more than 20% from his 13/14 averages to 15.

      Can’t blame that on poor Cutler performance either. Cutler’s yards per attempt and yards per catch were both higher in 2015 than either 13 or 14.

      Another way to look at this: in 2015, Bennett saw 7 targets per game, 21% of the available targets for his team. In 2015, Gronk saw 8 targets per game, 21% of the available targets for his team. Bennett can’t complain about not getting the ball enough. He was treated like an elite level TE, it’s not Jay Cutler’s fault that Bennett didn’t play like one.

      • They rarely looked in sync. In a piece I wrote on Artoo’s site, I called Bennett an anti-TE cuz TEs are supposed to be “security blankets” and Bennett was “an anxiety pillow” cuz every time Cutty threw to him it had as much chance as getting INTd as it did complete.

        I think part of that is that Bennett ran lazy routes when the play wasn’t designed for him. The Moss effect.

        • CanadaBear

          I can remember a few times where Martellus would find a hole in the zone, sit down and then at the last second vacate the area just as Jay is releasing the ball. Martellus strikes me as boorish, childish and an asshole. Not crazy, just unbelievable self-absorbed. While BMarsh always struck me as a loose cannon with a million issues but was probably a nice guy. Who knows?

        • PFF only shows INT numbers for WRs, not TE. They have 8 of Chicago’s 12 INTs last year targeted for WR, so that means no more than 4 were targeted for Bennett.

          Of course, I can’t say for sure if all 4 were to him. If so, that’s a really high rate, 4/80 is 5%, compared to 2.3% overall. But it’s possible only 1-2 were at Bennett.

          I know that I charted all of Cutler’s INTs in 2014, and the highest percentage were to Bennett (not counting guys with like 20 targets who happened to have 1, small sample size alert).

    • DaMurph

      I dislike this prick even more after reading this article. Bookend Assholes!

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    Trump article in yesterday’s TIME issue is interesting. Details how Manafort and Trump are in deep deep with the Russians. Trump’s Fort Lauderdale golf course is financed entirely by Kazakhstan gangsters. Trump is like a gangster in one of Statham’s Mechanic movies.

    He’s a Manchurian candidate. If you hate Hillary, vote for the fucking stoner Libertarian. But don’t vote for Putin’s bitch.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    Jeff,

    Calling McCain an American hero is a bit of a stretch.

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/make-believe-maverick-20081016

  • MB30SD

    at the risk of pissing gas on a fire I just want to go out…

    Will, Al, Dave… this is the guy you really want to endorse/vote for?

    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-allies-plot-candidate-intervention-after-disastrous-48-hours/ar-BBvcNvm?li=BBnb7Kz

    Yikes maingses. I get hillary is a shit samich, trust me I so do… but how in the world can you support that disaster of cartoon character?! I mean when old guard repubs are saying fuuuuck this shit, I’ll vote for hilly if it comes to that… that’s holy shit time isn’t it?

    • willbest

      For starters, I think there is a 70% chance that Trump farms out the Presidency to Pence, Gingrich, and a couple others and spends most of his time doing PR related stuff. So I am convinced President Trump more than any previous president is going to be delegating to underlings. That has been his MO his entire life. I wouldn’t expect it to change.

      Now to take the specific allegations in turn

      1) Khan served with distinction. The father is a fuckwit. Trump is punching down, but then so is attacking Melania.
      2) The Purple Heart thing is a WTF. I will give you that.
      3) Not endorsing Paul Ryan during Ryan’s primary? Come on. Ryan’s “endorsement” of Trump came AFTER Trump won and was “well he is the nominee we have” half-ass nonsense. Considering Ryan’s attacks on candidate Trump, I don’t know why Trump should spend political capital with his base saving Ryan’s job. Now if Ryan win’s his primary and Trump doesn’t say “You go to war with the Speaker you have, not the Speaker you want” I will cry poor form.

      Anyway, 2/3rds of the problem associated with Trump is that the GOP establishment are free trading globalists that will be voting for Hillary Clinton. They don’t like Trump, they don’t want Trump, but they need to play reasonably nice with him in order to prevent half the party from leaving an forming up a party that will obliterate them. If the party, would stop throwing a hissy fit, this wouldn’t even be a contest.

      And the amusing thing about all of this is the GOP isn’t even in the state of disarray that the Dems are. I mean they had over a quarter of their delegates walk out. Bernie supporters were rioting in the streets. Jill Stein showed up in Philly and had a bigger rally with disaffected democrats than HIllary has managed at her events since the convention. The audience had to constantly shout down protestors during her acceptance speech. Bill Clinton fell asleep listening to it. Malia Obama who’s mom said she was inspired by Hillary was in Chicago at Lollapalooza flashing her undies instead of watching history being made. In fact, none of the Obama’s stayed for Hillary’s speech.

      But the election is pretty easy to figure out. Both candidates are not good people. One has bribed politicians the other has taken bribes. They both have some spectacular fails on their resume. And I am convinced that Hillary is terminally ill but their messages boil down to

      Trump: America for Americans

      Clinton: America for the World

      Now I have no idea if Trump actually means it, but that is the choice you are being given.

      • AlbertInTucson

        I’m not voting for a woman who should be facing criminal charges for mishandling top secret information and then lied and continues to lie about it. At the very least should have had her security clearance revoked.

        • SC Dave

          And a revoked security clearance clearly disqualifies her from the Commander in Chief role.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Which is why it wasn’t revoked.

            And you don’t have to be Robert Ludlum, Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler to connect that with Bill’s visit with Loretta Lynch or to figure that the AG gets a quid pro quo down the line.

          • Portrayed by Eric Roberts

            You do know that Colin Powell ran his server at home, as well. Right?

          • willbest

            You know it wasn’t a violation of protocol when he did it. Right? Rules on security can and should change.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Was he completely careless, negligent and ignorant about the way he ran it and did he lie about it and dump files when they we subpoenaed?

      • Yes, like GW farmed out his presidency to Cheney, the hawks, oil and neocons.
        That went great!

        On the other hand, Gingrich will finally get almost what he wants but can never get himself cuz even republicans find him a gigantic douchbag.

    • AlbertInTucson

      You want to endorse Hilary just because she’s running on the Donkey ticket?

      • MB30SD

        I didn’t endorse either of them and I won’t vote Al… cali is toast anyway so my vote won’t count. I won’t vote for either of those dickbags, but I would never vote for a a man like trump.

        I’d vote for his son or a real republican (Kasich?)

        • AlbertInTucson

          Believe me, I realize this is another “..and death is not an option.” choice.

          But I believe if you don’t vote, then you can’t complain.

          As I’ve said before, I think Trump is the lesser of 2 evils because he’s such a DC outsider, he’ll get frozen out by Congress and slapped around by the Supreme Court.

          I wouldn’t believe Hilary if she told me water was wet.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          I am going to write in a my vote… I am thinking Waffle!!!

          • MB30SD

            me too!!!

    • MB, the MORE Trump does off the rail shit, the MORE his supporters will like it. It’ll only prove to his “base” that he isn’t bowing down to the “establishment” and therefore he’ll really change the political landscape and America.

      It’s like going to a punk concert and expecting the singers to fight and trash the stage.

      If a punk band doesn’t, the audience begins getting a little suspicious that they’re posers.

      • That being said, the “anyone but Hillary” faction who doesn’t mind the establishment might come to a breaking point eventually.
        That’s what the ‘interventionist’ are worried about cuz once that happens, it’s over.
        It might already be over. In a latest CNN poll Hillary was leading by like 7 points.

        Edit. 9 points, 52% – 43%

        http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/01/politics/trump-vs-clinton-presidential-polls-election-2016/

        • AlbertInTucson

          CNN Poll? No possible bias there.

          • Supposedly it was random, so unless they had a book of dems, rep and independents, I think it should be accurate.

            I mean, the woman vote alone should defeat Trump, then add in af americans, latinos, muslims, dems, educated whites and disaffected republicans, and it’s hard to see Trump winning barring a Clinton fiasco.

            43% for Trump might be favorable.

          • SC Dave

            The “polls” showed Britain would stay in the EU.

      • CanadaBear

        I thought the article NB posted a couple of days ago had a good point. All the poor whites that are voting for Trump have nothing so they have nothing to lose and something to gain if the system is blown up. I think they’re pissing in the wind but I understand their POV. If they think Trump will help them they aren’t paying attention. His next charitable act will be his first.

        • I thought the point about many republicans (po ones, after the crash) FINALLY realizing corporate america is NOT helping them was cogent.

          I think that disaffected splinter faction ended up becoming Trump supporters who see him as an outsider and part of the reason they hate corporate shill Hillary so much.

          Naturally the richer republicans (establishment) don’t want that type of change and are now trying to reel in Trump.

          • SC Dave

            I agree wholeheartedly with the last sentence of this analysis; as for the rest, it makes sense, but is outside my experience so I cannot really know.

    • SC Dave

      I never said I was voting for Trump, only that I will consider it under the’ lesser of two evils’ doctrine, because frankly, I’d rather have a buffoon than a hardened criminal, borderline traitor, in the White House.

      And if for no other reason I’m enjoying this spectacle of absolute partisanship by nearly all the MSM in favor of those bent on making slaves of us all.

      But even more, the absurd denials that such bias exists.

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    Whoa, Pace hinting at some roster moves on ESPN 1000 this morning:
    1. They are going with 3 running backs and the 3rd spot is between Carey and Rodgers.
    2. They may go with 3 TE’s instead of 4 so they can carry 7 WR’s instead of 6. For the tightends he kept talking about young guys stepping up. That leads me to believe Moeaki gone and Nerdball in. SOmmers has been taking reps with the fullback so he gone. He also said they are keeping an eye on the waiver wire as teams cut down for “areas of interest” (read: areas of desperate need) so expect a vet OL signing and a TE as well.
    3. If they take 7 WR’s they keep Braverman. That’s a lot of tiny fucking WR’s though. Mariani, Bellamy, Braverman, Royal….. I want some bigger guys.

    • Told u they’ll be riding w 3 HBs and it’ll ne between Carey and Jizz.
      Carey will have to really show he has 3rd down and sp teams chops tp stick.
      I hope they’re tracking the ravens for TEs. Pitta will likely be cut and that woukd be a good pick up for us.
      As for Oline, don’t know any team that is overloaded w them. Still sometimes teams release good vets for stupid reasons like us w Slauson

      • You’re about to get Jericho’d

        I mean, I read between the lines. He mentioned 4 running backs and their attributes and then we’ll see how it plays out.

      • CanadaBear

        I keep remembering that curious comment about how Fox loved Carey. Not that they are giants but Mariani is 6’1″ and 190, Bellamy is 6′ and 210, Royal 5’10” and 190 and Braverman is the same height and 5 lbs lighter than Royal. I could see where Bellamy might be hard to bring down. The others, not so much.

      • You’re about to get Jericho’d

        There is no way I see a Bears season starting with just Langford, the rookie Howard and a 3rd down back in Rodgers. No fucking way. I thought about all of the scenarios and quality depth is way more important than a change of pace back.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog
    This would be a massive positive for Bears OL. https://twitter.com/danpompei/status/760866332770349056 …”

    For certain but, Grasu left a LOT of room for improvement last season.

    • CanadaBear

      Gotta agree but at least it’s a start.

    • Hard to suck more, that’s for sure.

      • MB30SD

        (see: mcclellin, shea)

  • willbest

    Jeffery didn’t finish practice due to uterine cramps, Danny didn’t finish practice due to having his leg fall off

    • MB30SD

      let’s leave this to the published professionals will

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny
  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    I think it’s time for either Al to Burma Shave this dump, or that chameleon bitch to spam us.

    I vote for a Burma Shave.

    • I got the double nigerian spam grenade.

      Maybe I got fans over there who dream of managing their own Arbys

      • SC Dave

        You just may. While we might sneer, it would be a big opportunity for many. Seriously.

        • They make $98/hr. 98! We should move over there.

          But I can picture it now…

          In Nigerian voice, “Would you like a side order of prince bank account to go with that roastbeef and brisket?”

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    I have to put forth a nomination for the DaBearsBlog Hall of Fame: GP’s fucking handle made me spit a mouthful of diet coke out of my nose.

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      I second the nom nom nom nomination

    • SC Dave

      I didn’t go quite that far, but it is a winner.

  • CanadaBear
    • SC Dave

      “I will also say that we are aware of the fact that there’s kind of a league-wide disrespect on the Chicago Bears,” [Long] said recently. “I know that we’re not very appreciative of it, and we’re looking forward to getting after it.”

      Me likey.

      • MB30SD

        can you have disrespect on a noun?

        • willbest

          As long as the Watts of the world end up on the butts, Long can do whatever he wants to the English language.

          • MB30SD

            agreed (OMG, this is getting crazy!)

          • MB30SD

            fair enough

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    http://www.windycitygridiron.com/2016/8/3/12368124/chicago-bears-martellus-bennett-michael-brothers-jay-cutler-seattle-seahawks-new-england-patriots

    Oh maing, now the shit is on.

    Michael Bennett says Jay is the worst QB in the NFL, and Unicorn then joins in and says he’s also the dumbest. Shit be talked. Ass be needin whoopin.

    • SC Dave

      It was a good article for zaniness.

    • MB30SD

      hahahahaha… I’m so going to use that cutdown in my next argument.

      “Fuck you… you collect silverware!”

      And then just shut up and watch the response.

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    I don’t know if anyone noticed, but Hubby shut down chicagofootball.com (the domain is for sale, Jeff!) and went back to PFW. Man, that guy is like the worst businessman in Chicago. People in Chicago are still sore about the PFW lifetime subscription fiasco.

    • haha just saw ur handle. Beat me to it!
      Eric Roberts must hold the record for playing villains in straight to video movies.

    • Cormonster

      I really like his PFW pre-game radio show on Sunday mornings with Wayne Larivee. They actually spend the entire hour talking about football games and matchups! They run through the whole league and do a quick breakdown of every game. What a novel concept. Boomer’s pre-game show isn’t too bad either. Most of the rest suck. Every other rado pre-game show in my area is a fantasy football show or Packers or Vikings pre-game. Totally sucks.

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    I want our guys to practice but was it necessary to have Zach Miller to go over the middle on the goal line to get concussed by Lamar Houston? I mean….was it really, really necessary?

    The guy has shown he can make catches and has great timing with Jay. Why fucking risk it?

    • willbest

      I don’t know, it just wouldn’t feel like 2010’s Bears football unless we started the season with serious holes in our roster

    • They should wrap Miller up in a gortex jacket till the season starts.

      http://www.styledomination.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/george-costanza-gore-tex.jpg

      • You’re about to get Jericho’d

        haha, too late, his brain is scrambled eggs. Miller should wear those floor length old puffy starter jackets from the late 90’s to protect as much real estate as possible.

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        i am thinking one of these bubbles.

        • SC Dave

          Looks pretty hard on the legs, actually.

  • Speaking of Meows, one of the great bears hits which might have helped Mega retire.

    And naturally, flagged cuz football is pussified now.

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      Jack Tatum is rolling in his grave.

    • CanadaBear

      Megatron did absolutely nothing the rest of the game. I loved how Spice was so jacked up.

      • I thought he was concussed at the time.
        And now that he’s retired, he admitted he played through multiple concussions. I bet that was one of the times.

        Hard to remember routes when you can’t even remember your name.

        Ding Ding.

        • CanadaBear

          That was the best hit the Bears D put on someone in years.

    • MB30SD

      one of my favorite NFL hits in recent memory. LOVE that hit.

      I jummped up and down when they flagged that. Fucking bullshit. Still makes me angry

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    I’m thinking Michael Bennett was being a little tongue in cheek when he called Jay the worst qb in the league just like he called Sam Bradford the best and a real Joe Montana. Regardless, they’re both pretty much worse than millennial hipsters.

    • Cormonster

      Clint Eastwood just did an interview where he called millennials the kiss-ass generation and the pussy generation. Damn kids now-a-days.

      • CanadaBear

        Anyone that talks to a chair …

        • Minaaforrest1

          <<a:y. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bx220a:….,.

  • Doc Nitty

    The case against the Detroit Lions:

    They are the fucking Lions.

    NewBear: I need some legal advice. Call me.

    • You’re about to get Jericho’d

      if it doesn’t fit you must acquit!!!

    • MB30SD

      shit maings. that doesn’t sound good.

  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    you don’t even want to see how Miller got concussed. Idiotic “wrinkle” by Loggins. SAD!

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      From Cochran to Trump Tweet. +7 blog points. You’re going full Caliendo (MB hates that guy)

      • MB30SD

        he is fucking…. TURRIBLE!

  • Speaking of legal advice, my friend just got in a car accident, and of all ppl, with a police car!

    So, according to his story, he was driving and making a left on an intersection.
    The sun was in his eye a bit, but he could still see. He sees the cop but he’s way down the street.
    So, he makes a left, and bam, nearly head to head collision.

    The cop didn’t have his sirens on, and he was hauling ass down the street doing 60+. He came up on my friend faster than he expected.

    So, I know the rules that if you’re making a left a driver must wait for all traffic to clear before going, but we’re in L.A. not Tuscon. You always gotta squeeze in whenever possible.

    So my question is, if the speed limit was like 35mph or something, and the cop was gunning it, can he be at fault?

    I mean, if you’re making a left and you crash into two guys racing, there’s gotta be some shared liability.
    Anyways, if there’s any lawyers or ppl with similar experience, like to hear.

    P.S. the cops were cool with him and didn’t shoot him in the face.

    • MB30SD

      Pokémon go?

    • SC Dave

      He could certainly be cited for “failure to reduce speed to avoid an accident”, at least as far as I remember such things. And if the skid marks are really long and the collision still high-impact, it would be pretty clear indication that the patrol car was driving at an unsafe speed.

      Good luck to your friend. Probably will need some anyway.

      • MB30SD

        skid marks… I bet he has skidmarks heh heh heh

        • Also, I highly doubt if my friend did sue them that they’d just turn over their evidence

          #BlueLine

        • Cormonster

          It’s weird. I only get skid marks in my grey underwear. Never my black or blue underwear. I wonder why.

          • MB30SD

            deep thoughts corm… deeeep thoughts my maings

            hahaha

      • Yeah, what I’m guessing is that the cop got a call, began to book it before even putting on the sirens, and bam.

        CHips came over and did all the work actually. Dunno if it’s standard procedure when cops collide (sheriff in this case) to have an outside agency do it or maybe just his case, but my friend said that they were acting really nice, almost TOO nice. Anyone who’s been pulled over in L.A. knows that’s not usually the way it goes.

        It was a minor miracle my friend didn’t get really inj cuz he was going from a dead stop to making a left and the cop just barrelled into him. My friend’s a good driver too. I think this is his first accident and he’s 40, which in L.A. is like finding a 40 yr old virgin.

        The funny part was he said right when he saw that cop coming at him he heard my voice, “Squeeze your butt cheeks!” (NTTAWWT).

        Better than life flashing b4 eyes.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      Fuck Tha Police!!!

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      I thought you were going to say that Zach Miller was in the car, and now has 3 broken fibulas.

      • MB30SD

        he does… in spirit. alshon reported a pulled hammy in the incident.

    • willbest

      There can be shared liability in such a situation, but your friend isn’t going to get it in this case. If there were a neutral cop (heh) on the scene he might give both parties a ticket or indicate in the report that the driver on the oncoming car was driving reckless and then the insurance companies would talk to their actuaries and lawyers and split blame some how, and charge both drivers higher premiums.

      Incidentally something similar happened to my wife. She was coming out of our alley and a car blew threw the nearby stop sign and plowed into her side. The police officer gave both of them tickets, and the insurance companies assigned blame in a cover their own policy holder’s car as there were no bodily injuries.

    • MB30SD

      that was nice of them, he must be white (or asian)

      • He didn’t get shot in the face.

        So, you are correct.

      • Cormonster

        It’s white privilege, plain and simple. Butch, maybe you should expand your horizons and actually get some friends who aren’t just white dudes. I know your not racist because you like Bernie, but jeez get some diversity in your life.

        • True. All my friends are gay midget koreans. (midgoreans?)

          • Cormonster

            I lived with a Korean friend for a year, but he wasn’t a midget. He actually played guard in HS and was solid muscle. He used to kick my ass all the time (I played MLB).

          • MB30SD

            my bro’s ex wife is korean, she’s a cunt.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Korean.

            Wouldn’t that make her a Kunt?

            Just askin’.

          • MB30SD

            that too

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            not quite right…. put that in italics… needs a little slant to it.

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    MB –

    RUF CTR Yellowbird at the Ring.

    Uses Assetto Corsa, an Oculus and a wheel/PC. Pretty crazy

    • MB30SD

      awesome. I need to get back into racing games. I gave up all my stuff in the divorce… or lost more accurately.

      Too bad they don’t have this: http://uncrate.com/stuff/1971-ferrari-365-gtb-4-daytona-berlinetta/

      My late uncle had this car in SA.

      • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

        The only vintage Ferrari they have is the F40, but a Daytona would be nice.
        http://www.assettocorsa.net/cars/

        I had on my bucket list a lap at the nordschleife. I been to Frankfurt a few times, but getting a car and a lap pass, it was beyond me to do. I regret that.

        But watch this video:

        This mixed reality thing is going to be huge. He makes a green screen that goes all around him, like a shower curtain. Cut a hole in it for the wheel mount. Note that his wheel and his shifter are REAL. The outside of the Oculus still shows them to him. He takes a swig of a coke, he can still see due to pass thru on the Oculus.

        But the PC installs the game on the green screen. And look at the immersive experience, holy shit is that insane. 360 viewing, 60fps, excellent gfx and sound.

        Man. I am not buying a green shower curtain and a Oculus and a $500 wheel. Not going there but this is insane. VR experiences racing like this are going to be gigantic.

        • MB30SD

          why not? do it

          • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

            I’ve been racking my brain on how this guy did what he did:

            How did he take what happened in his real Caterham and mock it up exactly so? The yellow car that pulls through the gate, the Red Audi that passes him on the left at the exact same moment in the same place, the white car he comes up behind. How is that done? Does he get telemetry on all the cars from the Nordschliefe and then feed it to the sim? In the comments he is flip about it, and I have never seen that done like that, there must be some way he’s getting it all to align retroactively like that. That is one of the nuttiest sim things I have ever seen.

            Imagine first person Madden with Oculus and Mixed Reality. You could see your hands. You could stand on a pad. Any sport would work. Mixed Reality is flat out genius, using the external pass thru camera on the Oculus and a green screen: it solves the issue of nausea immediately. You can coordinate your body properly.

            I am telling you, get used to seeing these green shower curtain 360 things, there are going to be VR parlours like there are Hookah bars now. This thing will go nuclear in a few years.

          • MB30SD

            ask him

  • BearDown100393

    “I don’t know. I’m really not going get into that,” Cutler said Wednesday. “Most receivers and tight ends are always open. So hopefully [quarterback] Tom [Brady] I guess can do a better job of finding him than I did. I don’t know, man. I could say something clever and smart, but I’ll just pass.”

    Well down #6. Well down.

    http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/17212246/chicago-bears-qb-jay-cutler-brushes-criticism-former-teammate-martellus-bennett

    • AlbertInTucson

      Bennett’s worn out his welcome at 3 stops already.

      ‘Nuff said.

  • willbest
  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    Hicks on Score. Very personable wants to be on tv. Very chatty. Went from high school straight to the CFL.

    He says he loves talking smack and going against Kyle Long

  • AlbertInTucson

    Bob Costas: “Everywhere you look in Rio, it’s a picture post card.”

    Except for the shack towns, raw sewage and roving bandits.

  • Boykin on IR.

    Callahan is Irish right? 4 leaf clover time.

    • CanadaBear

      The problem is “The luck of the Irish” originally meant bad luck. Not hard to believe if you look into Ireland’s history.

    • willbest

      Has Tillman filed his retirement papers yet?

  • MB30SD
    • willbest

      It had already been reported that we were going to give them 1.7 billion in ransom money. Excuse me, an unrelated settlement of a prior contract dispute that occurred at the same time as the prisoner exchange. Is it just the optics of the $400 million down payment being air dropped suitcases of cash?

      • MB30SD

        Fucking disgusting. I’d much rather have dropped a fucking 5,000lb daisy cutter onto the building where all the iatolas reside. Fucking decimate that entire hierarchy and set the people of Iran free to be westernized like they all so desperately want.

        • willbest

          If it makes you feel better, I have read Iran has already replaced the 4 hostages that were released. And Obama/Clinton had an Iranian uprising they could have supported but chose to back the government instead

          • MB30SD

            much better thanks

  • Joecashflow

    I wore my Cutler jersey to happy hour yesterday and nobody gave me sh#t. That’s because I’m 10,000 miles away and nobody knows it’s even a Bears jersey. NFL network is all over the Bennett Bros trashing Cutler. Watching 2015 reruns last week, I did see M Bennett wide open on the 5, when we were in red zone. On Jay’s backside. He threw into double coverage and we settled for FG, lost the game. Bennett threw his arms up, like WTF. Easy to read his mind, at least that time. If Cutty has any take aways from listening to the Bennett boys, he will work on those check downs.

  • Terry Welsh

    Fuck the teddy bears. Fuck hughes; he needs to get his head out of his ass just like the rest of you teddy bear fans.

  • Minaaforrest1

    <<a:y. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bx220a:….,

© Da' Bears Blog