446 Comments

Playoff Picks: Wildcard Round

| January 8th, 2016

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Administrative Note: We’ll resume our postseason positional analysis columns on Monday with running backs, Tuesday with wide receivers, Wednesday with tight ends & Thursday we’ll wrap up the offensive side of the ball with our analysis of the line. (Defense will come after the division round.)

KANSAS CITY AT HOUSTON

Am I willing to embrace the notion of Brian Hoyer winning a postseason game? No, I’m not. Am I willing to cast my support unabashedly for Andy Reid in a postseason game? No, I’m not. But since I picked the Chiefs to make the Super Bowl in August I might as well continue seeing red. And on a football note, the Chiefs don’t look to throw the ball downfield so their short passing attack should be able to neutralize the Houston’s greatest asset: Watt, Whitney and the pass rush. Chiefs 20, Texans 13

PITTSBURGH AT CINCINNATI

Here’s what I keep hearing from folks analyzing the wildcard round: nobody wants to play the Pittsburgh Steelers. Here’s my follow-up question: why? The Steelers controlled their road to the postseason and lost to Marc Trestman and Ryan Mallett! (And the game wasn’t particularly close.) Then in Week 17 the Steelers were horrible against Cleveland, with Big Ben throwing ugly picks to second-rate linebackers. If Austin Davis weren’t starting for the Browns and they didn’t decide to fumble away the second half, the Jets would be in the playoffs. So is Pittsburgh just going to turn it on? Bengals 24, Steelers 22

SEATTLE AT MINNESOTA

Can Teddy Bridgewater win this game if the Vikings have to throw the ball at any point? Not for me. Worst game of the weekend, despite how cold it might be. Also, Marshawn Lynch doesn’t give a shit about the weather. Seahawks 24, Vikings 9

GREEN BAY AT WASHINGTON

Everything in my soul says PICK THE PACKERS! Everything. Everything says it doesn’t make any sense to believe Kirk Cousins will beat Aaron Rodgers in the playoffs. EVERYTHING!

But I’ve seen every game the Packers have played since the start of November. Over that period they’ve been beaten decisively by the only three really good teams they played (Carolina, Denver, Arizona) and dropped games at home to all three of their division rivals. They’re 4-6 over those ten games, including a Hail Mary win in Detroit. They haven’t been struggling. They’ve been a bad team.

In the meantime Cousins and Washington have looked like every bit a team worthy of being in the tournament. Redskins 30, Packers 24

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  • The Yes Guy

    I pick… YES

    • Scharfinator

      YES

      • MB30SD

        You forgot something… !

        • Scharfinator

          YES!!!!!

  • Trac

    Jeff, I think you’re going to get the Redsins pick right but I think the rest of your horses are going to stall at the gate. Just sayin.

  • Trac

    A Vikings loss will actually surprise me this weekend. I get surprised a lot.

    • SC Dave

      While I.would definitely prefer a Viking win, I don’t see it happening.

      • MB30SD

        Up voted that it ain’t gonna happen. Fuck the purple cockgobblers dave (NTTAWWT)

      • Doc Nitty

        Really? Fuck the queens! Why Dave?

        • SC Dave

          Because the Seahawks are self-confessed cheaters. And the Vikings are not important enough to hate.

          • MB30SD

            Um, they’re going to be our major competition in our division for the foreseeable future dude, you better start hating them

          • CanadaBear

            No issues here! I used to think their fans were the biggest douchebags until the Loins had a good year.

          • BerwynBomber

            Exactly. We’re obsessed with the Cheese on here (which is understandable and I’m guilty of it too), but the Vikings might be more worrisome than GB the next few years.

          • Doc Nitty

            Are you referring to adderall? If not, what did I miss?

  • That Guy

    I pick Houston, Cincy, Minny and Washington.

    There are some hard to pick games here that I don’t expect to be close. For example, I expect the Minny/Seattle game to expose one team as not ready for playoff football, but I don’t know which one. Likewise, the Cincy/Pittsburgh game shouldn’t be that close; one team will show itself the class of the division, but I don’t know which one that will be.

    • MB30SD

      Kc, pit, Sea, wash

    • Doc Nitty

      Based on your picks, New Bear, it seems you think Seattle will be the team not ready for playoff football. Which surprises me greatly.

      • That Guy

        I thought about that after I walked away. I still feel like the Vikings will win – I just feel like Peterson will put the team on his back and make it happen. But the Seahawks were a much stronger looking team in the past 6 weeks than they were the first 10.

  • Captain Obvious

    Cap’n’s picks:

    K.C., Pittsburgh, Seattle, Cheese.

    I’d give “lock” status to Pittsburgh and Seattle. Pittsburgh because not many teams can win in the playoffs with their #2 QB, and Cincy has a history of choking in the first round anyway. Seattle because Minny is nowhere near as good as their record, and Seattle (minus one bump, against St. Louis, which seems to be their Achilles’ Heel) is playing pretty hot.

    I don’t think Washington is very good, but then, GB is more smoke and mirrors than substance. K.C./Houston is a toss-up. Normally you don’t count on a team with QB problems like Houston, but then, K.C. is K.C., and barely has a QB to begin with.

    • willbest

      4 road wins isn’t going to happen.

      • Captain Obvious

        Would you like to reconsider your judgement?

  • willbest

    I wouldn’t interview just one person for secretary, and that is an at will employment situation. You think they are going to ingratiate themselves to their billionaire employer by doing a half-ass job while committing $12-16 million to a guy and setting the tone of the franchise for the next 2-4 years?
    Plus Gase is white, so at a minimum all these teams HAVE to interview at least one other person.

    • The GP
      • MB30SD

        that’s the sec I want to hire (and crush every night on my desk when everyone else goes home)

        • willbest

          If she can’t do her job, then you are hiring yourself a prostitute.

          • The GP

            Lighten up Francis.

          • MB30SD

            Correct.

          • DaMurph

            MB keepin it real!

          • MB30SD

            you knows me murph, I don’t gives the fucks.

        • DaMurph

          I dont need a seceretary, think she does house cleaning? Naked?

    • That Guy

      Truth is, I went through extensive interviews the first two times I hired a secretary and neither lasted longer than a year. The one I have now has been around close to a year and a half with no signs of leaving – we tried to get a bunch of interviews when we were looking, but she was the only one that answered the ad (last time I bother posting on a college campus).

      But secretaries are a bad comparison. Secretary is a position that lots of people can do, and you’re just trying to see what’s out there. There are maybe 50 people in the world today that would be quality NFL GMs. 40+ of them are either current GMs, or otherwise employed on a an NFL staff. If you find your guy – you don’t mess around.

  • MB30SD
  • BerwynBomber

    If not for their miracle win at DET, Cheese would be 3-7 their last ten games of the season. Their offense looks flat and their O-line’s pass protection might be the worst in football.

    AJ McCarron has looked solid in relief of Dalton, but win his first playoff game solid? Tough one. And the barbaric winter conditions could wreak havoc in MIN. Two locks for me would be KC and WAS, but KC is on the road, and yes, the Andy Reid factor is at play.

  • MB30SD
    • Doc Nitty

      All I know is that if Dungy gets in, the HOF will lose a lot of it’s luster for me. He gets all this credit for the Tampa 2. That was Monte Kiffin’s defense! I don’t get all the love for Dungy.

      • BillW

        He seems a nice enough guy but I always hated that so many writers incorrectly say he was the first black coach to get to the Super Bowl.

        Lovie was, by a few hours. Second is not first in any universe I know of.

        • Scharfinator

          He’s also a homophobe.

          • CanadaBear

            Why do you say that? Did he get all worked up over the gay guy from last year? That whole story line bored me so I never paid any attention to it. I know Dungy is religious. Is he a fundamentalist? Those guys can be pretty nuts when it comes to people being gay.

          • DaMurph

            Just voiced his views on the issue, nothing outrageous or hateful.

          • CanadaBear

            Not surprising. He doesn’t strike me as an asshole.

          • MB30SD

            he’s a thumper. I don’t care about that, to each his own… I care that I fall asleep listening to him talk. he’s so boring and vanilla.

          • BerwynBomber

            I never bought the St. Tony stuff. All we heard about how he was going into ministry/peace corps-like work soon after he retired (in fact, the storyline was he might retire early to pursue such interests), but he ends up being another talking head on a network football show and he’s lousy at it as an added kicker.

            In terms of the homophobe stuff, doesn’t surprise me. The bible thumpers are usually the least tolerant people in our society.

          • MB30SD

            this….

            trac, what do you and your jacked up raptor say ye?

          • DaMurph

            By definition, he neither hates nor fears homosexuals. I dont hink his coaching credentials are HOF worthy but his views on other issues of the times surely shouldnt disqualify him either.

          • Doc Nitty

            MURPH!!!

          • DaMurph

            DOCCCCC!

          • Doc Nitty

            How goes it, brother? Don’t see you much on here.

          • DaMurph

            Goin ok, been on a lil bit more lately. Sometimes it does the BP good to stay away! hahaha! How you doin? Hanging in there? Keep the chin up brotha, things get better!

          • Doc Nitty

            Thanks man. They better. In fact, on Saturday I plan to win 700 million on powerball. So yeah, they should get MUCH better.

          • Scharfinator

            By what definitions?

          • DaMurph

            Definition of homophobic, you said he was homophobic.

          • Scharfinator

            Homo being same (though in the vernacular, clearly it means homosexual at this point), phobic meaning afraid. I’m missing how homophobic doesn’t mean afraid of homosexuals?

          • DaMurph

            Im saying he is neither afraid of or hateful of homosexuals. I didnt debate the meaning, I said by the definition of the word he is NOT homophobic. He spoke of his view of homosexuality but never once was he hateful in his views and he certainly didnt seem to fear them either. Understand that difference?

          • Scharfinator

            He seems fairly fearful of them. Not in an “AHH ITS A SPIDER” kind of way, but rather that he believes an openly gay nfl player would screw up his locker room. That’s a professional fear, isn’t it?

          • DaMurph

            Fearful of the effect rather than the person. Being in a locker room atmosphere for 37 years where I worked I would venture to say an openly gay guy would most certainly have some effect. I guess Im tryin to say he isnt a hateful bad guy for his feelings and it shouldnt disqualify him from something. Back to the Bears Scharf….

          • Scharfinator

            “Fearful of the effect rather than the person.” Fair point!

      • MB30SD

        He’s a little fucking bridge troll. Can’t stand that guy… STFU dude.

        • DaMurph

          Bridge troll? HAhahaha!

    • Irish Sweetness

      Faneca, Anderson (one of the few kickers that should ever get in), Owens, Snake, Coryell.

      • MB30SD

        Air Coryell baby!

      • Doc Nitty

        Favre, Owens, Greene…. after that I don’t know.

    • DaMurph

      Warner Lynch Favre those three for sure.

      • MB30SD

        fuck brett farve murph… fuck him right in his annoying packer’s drawl

        • DaMurph

          Yeah but he really has the numbers, so trying to be totally unbiased I had to put him in there. If I left out my hated players there would be half the busts in the hall!

          • MB30SD

            oh, the thought was totally separate. I agree he 100% needs to be in, just fuck him.

          • DaMurph

            Oh look Trac…….here we go again……….agreeing!

  • MB30SD

    btw, posted on the dead thread.

    See Sicario. Good flick. Del Torro and Brolin are the shit.

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      really enjoyed it….a little preachy but hey.

      • MB30SD

        yeah, that chick bugged the fuck outta me. Just shut the fuck up. You ain’t gonna change nuthing from your ivory tower you dumb cunt, besides, it’s almost gotten you killed 3 separate times. Fucking chicks. SMH.

        • The GP

          SMH

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            damn MB

        • DaMurph

          SMH

        • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

          MB, tell us how you really feel. Did Emily Blunt give you AIDS?

        • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

          haha, when that dude from Walking Dead showed up I knew it was fucking on.

          • MB30SD

            I don’t watch TWD… which dude?

            Benicio was a fucking MAC!

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene
          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            without giving out any plot points, the guy at the bar

          • MB30SD

            Ahhhh…

        • MB30SD

          Hahahahaha… LALZ

          I don’t find her attractive either. Kinda don’t get it, and her preachy I’m to fucking moralistic to get it done attitude bugged me. For fuck sake, this is how our gov’t works biatch… you ain’t saving sheeeeeit.

  • Sactowns#1

    No matter what happened this season at least we aren’t browns
    fans http://deadspin.com/broken-browns-fan-creates-the-most-honest-2016-season-t-1751800213

  • Doc Nitty

    -20 degrees wind chill? Beast Mode and AP, the two best backs in the game, square off in what is sure to be a run heavy contest. This game, gentleman, is why I love football. Not excited about that game, Jefe? You crazy!

    • CanadaBear

      I love watching cold weather games. I must point out that I’ve seen about a dozen Bears games live at Soldier Field. None of them after October!

      • Doc Nitty

        Says the guy who rode his bike to work daily in the Canadian snow.

        • CanadaBear

          Yeah but that was about 20-25 minutes each way and I was generating some body heat. Sitting around in the cold just kills me. One of the many reasons I didn’t like hunting ducks.

          • MB30SD

            That and duck meat isn’t that great. Rather have turkey or pheasant or even dove

          • CanadaBear

            Pheasant is by far my favorite meat. Never had dove. I’ve eaten a lot of different meats; goat, moose, bear, caribou, elk, deer, rattlesnake and all of them were OK to great (goat was my least favorite). Ducks and geese are OK but not really my first choice.

          • Scharfinator

            Really, goat? The venison I’ve had is usually tough, not the best, beef style. Maybe I need to find better venison.

          • MB30SD

            Goat is amazing. The most eaten meat on the planet.

            Go to the best Indian joint in your town and order “karai bakara”.
            Goat curry, won’t be on the menu… they probably only make it for themselves

          • Irish Sweetness

            I did not know that, really?

            Billy The Kid curry, all riiiight.

          • MB30SD

            Yes! I bet you get amazing Indian food where you are irish. Get some and let me know what you think

          • Scharfinator

            I love goat, which is why I was surprised he didn’t like it.

          • CanadaBear

            Trust me Scharf I would try it again, just not in a Mexican restaurant.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            now we’re on the NSA radar. Thanks!

          • MB30SD

            We’ve been there for years maings.

          • CanadaBear

            In Iowa almost all the venison is raised on corn and soybeans. Probably not as gamy as the deer out west that usually eat a lot of sage brush. All the venison I’ve had was ground up with beef in a half and half mixture. Really depends on who makes the sausage and how you prepare it. I’ve had it where it was really gamy and not so good. Other times, mmmmmmmmm. I’ve eaten goat in a couple of mexican restaurants. Kinda stringy.

          • MB30SD

            Gotta be prepared right

          • CanadaBear

            No doubt!

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            gots to be

          • DaMurph

            I had goat down in the Caribbean and it was pretty good. I like venison o.k. but we have a lot of deer around here and I feel guilty when they stare at me as I drive by. Duck and goose I like alot. Pheasant…..meh. Never had dove but when they wake me up too early in the morning Id have no guilt downing a few.

          • MB30SD

            Jerk Goat MON!

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            dude, i’ll eat a goat when we’re down to the fucking end man. The end.

          • MB30SD

            Get ready yo!

            Zombie Apocalypse in 3…2……..

          • Cormonster

            That was the best food I had in Jamaica. They called it lamb chops, but I’m pretty sure it was those little miniature goats that roam everywhere.

          • CanadaBear

            Funny story. I’m at my best buddy’s acreage in the woods. We’re getting smoked up and watching all of these amazing birds at his feeders, numerous varieties of woodpeckers, finches, cardinals, bluebirds, etc. At some point it dawns on me that they aren’t any birds like starlings, grackles, doves, blackbirds. I asked my buddy how that can be. He started laughing and said I shoot all of those birds with my pellet gun. Good Times!!!!!!!!!!

          • MB30SD

            I killed maybe 2 or 3… million birds with my pellet gun as a child. Pretty sure I’m going to be repeatedly attacked and killed by small birds for eternity when I die.

          • CanadaBear

            My ex-brother-in-law started me hunting when I was around 10 or 11. We used to go out in the woods and shoot birds all the time. We used to joke about joining the Audubon Society to find the greatest concentration of birds. I’ll save you a seat in hell.

          • CanadaBear

            I’ve had it a bunch of times in Iowa and it seemed to really depend on the butcher’s recipe. They always add some sort of spices to the mix. Usually 50/50 with beef or pork (I always had beef). Some of it was just OK and a couple of times it was great. I always hunted with my cousin (farmer) and he was always giving me pork tenderloins (he raised hogs) and venison (the deer were VERY nervous around his place). Reading the different ways goat has been prepared sounds like a winner to me.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            eating a dove would be fucking cold blooded. they are so innocent and pure and you want to roast it and put bbq sauce on it. damn man.

          • CanadaBear

            A dove’s first cousin is a pigeon. I have more reservations about that relationship than the fact that doves are a symbol of peace.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            what promotes peace more than sharing a meal….consisting of the marinating and roasting of the bird that is the international symbol of peace?

          • CanadaBear

            It’s the Monty Python hunting sketch. I love animals, that’s why I kill ’em!

          • MB30SD

            yes.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I like lamb, so I can’t go near the dove with a comment.

            Baby lambs.

          • MB30SD

            Lam is my ultimate favorite meat.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Babies.

          • DaMurph

            When ya comin to town? Out for lamb chops? Dont slather them in ketchup though!

          • MB30SD

            Hell yes. I think maybe Q2 when things start heating up.

            Ah hell no. No ketchup on anything but hotdogs, burgers, and fries. I NEVER put that shit on eggs, good meat, anything else… although I have been known to put that shit in the almost untouched $8 mac & cheese that my daughter won’t touch after she’s begged me to cook it for her for 30 minutes. smh.

          • DaMurph

            We can cruise to greek town and chow up on that excellent lamb!

          • MB30SD

            the greeks put too much shit on their lamb… I just want mine grilled with olive oil, salt and pepper.

          • DaMurph

            Really not, its whole lamb on the rotisserie, never too over the top. Im sure we can get chops for you just the way you want. Lil olive oil with salt and pepper!

          • MB30SD

            they usually slather herb over everyfuckingthing. Don’t get me wrong I like greek, I’m just a snob about my lambs chops.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene
          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            greeks also take excellent direction. I’m sure they will accommodate you.

          • MB30SD

            they had better.

          • DaMurph

            We may be able to draw Johnny out for lamb and liquor!

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            Cold is the reason i quit Deer Hunting. The last time I ended up sitting in freezing rain/sleet/snow and windy as hell. I had an epiphany that morning and never been since. However, when it comes to a Bears game it’s a different story. Been to 8 games and every game it ended up snowing and it was awesome.

          • MB30SD

            I can’t kill anything above the size of a dove these days. Don’t have the heart

          • CanadaBear

            That’s the main reason I never shot any larger animals. I had a chance to shoot a big buck (deer) once pheasant hunting. It was out of season (hadn’t opened yet) and I didn’t have a tag anyway. I shouldered my shotgun, he looked right at me and I thought, “this ain’t right” and I never had any desire to shoot the big animals after that. Pheasants and rabbits, no problems.

          • Doc Nitty

            Plus, unless you were at point blank range, I’m thinking a shotgun would only wound the majestic though yummy beast.

          • CanadaBear

            I was about 10 yds away. I would have punched a decent sized hole in his head.

          • MB30SD

            You should have just tackled him and put him in a headlock to show him who’s fucking boss.

          • CanadaBear

            He was a big bastard with an impressive rack (no not that kind). I’ve seen the video of that hunter that gets abused by that deer. Wasn’t gonna happen to me!!!!!

          • MB30SD

            yeah, scary. they’re still wild animals with weapons

          • Irish Sweetness

            My man! DeNiro styl-ee.

          • SC Dave

            I have boar burgers in my fridge. I’ll report once I’ve eaten one.

    • willbest

      You are late to the party. Beastmode had 1 above average game this season, and was either injured or garbage.

      • Doc Nitty

        Are you kdding? I AM the party.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Darth Vaper!

          • Doc Nitty

            WEED….I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

          • MB30SD

            hahahaha

  • The GP
  • TBC

    Bet the skins!

    • Doc Nitty

      reverse juju?

  • Doc Nitty

    Seattle, Washington, Houston, Pittsburgh.

    • MB30SD

      Almost lad!

  • CanadaBear

    I haven’t even seen some of these teams play this year but here’s my very uninformed picks. KC because they have been on a tear. Usually I’d always pick agains Reid but KC is one of the hottest teams right now. Pitt because I trust Big Ben way more than AJ McCarron. The Biqueens because I’ve under estimated them all year and they keep winning. Seattle should destroy them but with the cold weather the Queens somehow pull it out. Wash because the Fudge Packers stink on ice. I wouldn’t bet even one of these picks straight up.

  • BillW

    The Vikings game intrigues me only because of the weather. And the sub plot of the PSI factor. (The league says it randomly checks PSI and won’t say if they will for this game. You can bet they won’t.)

    The Packers game intrigues me because I still can’t believe they are that bad.

    Not sure I’ll watch either one, and I have no interest in the AFC games. The only other intrigue is what officiating screw up will everyone be talking about next week. There is certainly going to be at least one.

    • BerwynBomber

      “The Packers game intrigues me because I still can’t believe they are that bad.”

      They are. They’re horrible.

      • BillW

        PFT article quotes Rodgers as saying maybe it’s time to just air it out more. Which in my limited opinion would be a huge mistake. They are clearly a run first ball control team now – I saw that when the Bears beat them, and I’ve heard a few reporters/commentators saying it too.

        He points to how they almost came back against Minny. I couldn’t believe he’s stooped to that lack of understanding. Minny was playing prevent – of course you were getting yardage then. (And you still couldn’t tie the game even having first and goal and plenty of time.)

        He’s saying the kind of stuff a lot of losing teams/QBs say. Obviously he’s frustrated – but he comes across like an entitled diva. “I don’t understand why we aren’t winning. We’re the Packers! I’m Aaron freaking Rodgers!”

        Still – he IS Aaron Rodgers and if he ever stops whining and goes out to play football like he can, they will win. Hopefully not this weekend. I like hearing him sound like 10 times the “jerk” Cutler supposedly was (to Packer fans)

        • BerwynBomber

          Critiquing these guys’ pressers — be it Cutty’s or Rodgers’ — never much interested me (though admittedly the idea of golden boy Tom Brady bald-faced lying to millions of us last year was amusing) but I agree with you about Rodgers misreading the context of those late game passing yards. Then again, I suppose he has to sell such positivity to his troops.

          Either way, the Cheese are fucked. WASH is the superior team.

          • BillW

            As much as I’ve come to dislike NFL football (in general) lately I’d spend 3 hours watching the Packers lose if I was as sure as you it was going to happen.

          • BerwynBomber

            Well, if you need confidence, go to Irish. He is the one who actually puts his money behind his mouth. I’m just giving some half-assed opinion, though actually living in the Chicago area does expose me to probably 80 or 90% of the Cheese games on TV. Hence, I usually watch them nearly as much as the Bears. And they have not looked good.
            Oddly enough, for all their myriad of offensive problems — bad O-line, Rodgers looking off, Davante Adams looking worse than a PS guy, and of course the loss of Nelson — one thing that I think really hurt them was losing that rookie Montgomery. When he went down is when their early season O went off the rails. He didn’t provide them the deep or consistent third down threat of Nelson, but his game looked a bit like a Wes Welker’s, except a bit more athletic.
            Oh, and I still don’t trust the Cheese’s rush D.

          • BillW

            Look out for the grammar cops – you said “myriad of”!.

            That guy sh0woff or whatever his screen name is sure to object. (Or is it ‘abject’?)

          • BerwynBomber

            Thanks. Yeah, my writing’s horrible, which is why I constantly use the “edit” button here.

          • BillW

            Just kidding of course. Maybe you missed that little dust up on the prior thread.

            Turns out “myriad of” is the preferred usage today. English is a living language. It’s all essentially arbitrary “rules” anyway. It’s only when things don’t make sense (like saying “I could care less” when one doesn’t actually mean that) that I have an issue.

          • Irish Sweetness

            English is weird. We had 300 Masters students (trainee teachers) with us in a residential grammar camp for ten weeks. These young people were pulling apart the language for a TOEFL exam, and you have to have an answer for everything. When you get down to the nitty gritty of it, sometimes your only answer is “…because it just is…”

            As you said, usage.

          • Doc Nitty

            Did somebody say Nitty Gritty? How can I help you Irish?

          • MB30SD

            we still tracking for monday bang bang…

            actually, you get your shit in order monday and we’ll play tues+. I’m watching the Nat Champ game with buddies monday night

          • Doc Nitty

            The major issue is that the TV with the PS4 is down in the main room. I refuse to sit down there while Jezebel is home. So until we go our separate ways I’ll only be on random times on Weekend nights.

          • MB30SD

            hmmmm… wow, didn’t know it was that bad. Chin up my brother.

          • Doc Nitty

            Somedays are better than others. Some days I may be able to tough it out. Other days I can’t stand to see her fat home-wrecking face

            #nobitternesshere

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            Doc, just tough it out a little longer and don’t end up on Dateline and all will be ok buddy. You’re a young man with a lot of life left to live…hopefully with a Puerto Rican half Polish half Mexican AuPair.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            haha, I think I invented a new species.
            #science

          • Doc Nitty

            Damn. Just when I had my heart set on a Swedish AuPair.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            up in the harsh northwest conditions you need the soft and cozy warmth of zee Latina.

          • Doc Nitty

            Fair.

          • Doc Nitty

            Which reminds me. My second son was born on Cinco De Mayo. We had planned on his middle name being George-Robert after my Grandpa and Dad respectively. But when he was born on Cinco De Mayo, I had the nurse write down “Jorge-Roberto” for his middle name on the birth cert.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            naturalmente

          • MB30SD

            Claro que si!

          • DaMurph

            I dont know if he can take the heat. Doc doesnt seem like he could deal with a high strung Latina. When the tension rises in the Murphy house, I swear I can hear every sinew in my Puerto Rican princesses body start to sing! If the strings go too tight and pop, get the fuck outta the way, those bitches go totally ape shit crazy. Doc, there are some serious considerations with Latinas, stick with the Swedish AuPair and hide the golf clubs from her and youll be fine.

          • Doc Nitty

            Preciate the heads up. But they’re so damn sexy Murph!

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            Doc, Murph has actual field experience. Maybe he’s right. It could get crazy.

          • Doc Nitty

            What about Red-heads then?

          • MB30SD

            evil?

          • CanadaBear

            The reputation is deserved. ’nuff said.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            I’m a fiend for redheads. My highschool GF was essentially an Angie Everhart clone. My gradeschool GF was an Irish dancer and my wife is strawberry blonde (close enough).

          • Doc Nitty

            There is nothing sexier than a sexy red head. But I do fear them so.

          • MB30SD

            those are the best!

          • CanadaBear

            If it makes you feel any better, after I got divorced my ex-wouldn’t leave until we sold the house. Then she had surgery for female issues and her mother stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I finally bought her out of the house and she still wasn’t making any plans to leave. Thought I was gonna have to call the sheriff. At least I didn’t have any hard feelings towards her, just didn’t want to be married to her any longer.

          • MB30SD

            yikes!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Yes Doc. What’s the name of that movie again where there’s a bus, and the bus has to keep going above a certain speed or a bomb on the bus will explode if it drops below that speed?

          • Doc Nitty

            All I know, is if Keanu Reeve’s is in it, I probably didn’t watch it. (Bill and Ted’s and the original Point Blank notwithstanding)

          • MB30SD

            stop that RIGHT NOW!!!

            Check out John Wick. not bad.

          • Irish Sweetness

            That’s an awesome movie. He shoots about 200 people in the face! The scene where the cops call to the door and he has a room full of dead bodies on the floor behind him and he knows that the cop knows and they just pretend like they don’t … classic.

          • burntorangenavyblue

            Supposed to be a sequel this year!

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            I was standing next to Keanu in Chicago at my favorite sub shop. He is just as awesome in person. Jeans, black t shirt, boots….with his hot Asian assistant.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Has anyone seen the remake? I dare not.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            don’t you fucking dare Irish. There is only one Point Break. There is only one Keanu.

          • Doc Nitty

            Swayze!

          • MB30SD

            aaaaaannnd this

          • MB30SD

            this

          • burntorangenavyblue

            Oh my gosh….I watched John Wick last night, holy shiiite

          • burntorangenavyblue

            The most hilarious thing about having a Bachelor’s Degree in English is that professors mostly didn’t give a crap about the crazy grammatical rules as long as your papers made sense in terms of setting up your thesis and citing your sources. I still get people asking me for help on spelling or supposedly knowing every word in the dictionary. I tell them that “College ain’t no spelling bee, sorry!”

  • Irish Sweetness

    (43-27)

    No-spread treble, just over 3/1.

    PIT 8/13 to bt CLE
    They hammered Cincy without Dalton. Ben has called Bryant out, and he’ll have 2 TDs.

    SEA 4/9 to bt MIN
    Teddy Bridgewater cannot beat the Seahawks.

    WAS 10/11 to bt GB
    Kirk’s hot, Vadge is not.

    • BerwynBomber

      KC/HOU?

      • MB30SD

        This… plus kc

      • Irish Sweetness

        Don’t know. JJ Watt. It’s all on him. KC look like the more rounded team, but I couldn’t back against JJ Watt. Take the under on the game is all I could think on that, but I think they have the O/U at 40, which sucks. Don’t know, so I won’t play.

        • BillW

          O/U on the Vikings game I assume is pretty low.

          • Irish Sweetness

            39.5

            The 0.5 is huge. Complete bastards. I find it reprehensible that they have .5 in spreads etc. because you can’t score a half a point. If a team is -7.5, they have to win by two scores.

          • That Guy

            I actually prefer the 0.5 That way, there’s no possibility of a push. If you don’t think the team will win by 2 scores, bet the other way.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Sometimes a push is good :o) They want it all!

          • AlbertInTucson

            So’s the game time temp.

        • CanadaBear

          Smith throws a million short passes so that should neutralize Watt somewhat. Who knows? You never know when Reid will lose his mind and do something really stupid. If it comes down to clock mgmt, Houston wins easily.

          • Doc Nitty

            In which case, we’ll see a healthy dose of JJ Swatt!

            Is it just me or is JJ Watt the best defensive lineman since Reggie White?

          • BerwynBomber

            It ain’t just you.
            Bruce Smith was a beast too.

          • DaMurph

            JJ Watt is one of the best DL of all time. I have seen a ton of the great ones play. I cant imagine the havoc he would have wreaked had he played back in the day of head slaps allowed!!

          • MB30SD

            easily. the guy is a goddammed animal

  • AlbertInTucson

    How ironic will it be if the Bengals, at last, get into the 2nd round with A.J. McCarron at QB…?

    • Irish Sweetness

      Why?

      • That Guy

        Because Dalton has been trying for years.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Ah. Steelers have too much firepower to let that happen .. but that’s why they play the games.

          • willbest

            They are down to their third string running back. Should in theory take a little bit off their passing game.

          • AlbertInTucson

            They weren’t runniing the ball that well lately even before Williams got hurt.

    • MB30SD

      I actually like McCarron. High-character guy. Would make a good back up me thinks. Game manager with a weaker arm, but I remember saban gushing and stumping hard for the guy (for what that’s worth).

      • BerwynBomber

        I caught McCarron against DEN in that island game a couple weeks back. He looked good — decisive and smart — thought most of it was first read type stuff.

        I felt the same about his arm strength when he was entering the draft but it actually looked okay in the aforementioned game. Obviously not a Cutty-like cannon but not a Pennington-like pop gun either. Average, I suppose.

        • MB30SD

          you should change that to “poop gun” cause that’s how I read it, and it sounded much funnier.

        • DaMurph

          Bernie Kosar arm

      • DaMurph

        I woulda drafted him. I was hoping we did. Loved his college play. No big arm, a little Bernie Kosar kinda QB but perfectly capable to win games.

        • MB30SD

          yep, I remember you and I were on his bandwagon… like most things, we agree on.

          I’m on ragland’s wagon right now.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            You’re on the Rag

          • Trac

            The love fest continues…tune in tomorrow boys and girls as MB whispers into Murph’s ear one more time…

            Hee hee

          • DaMurph

            Jealousy gets you no where my friend! hahaha!

          • Trac

            Hahahaha. Lmao

          • DaMurph

            great minds!

          • DaMurph

            Hes exactly what we need on the inside. Fits the role perfectly!

        • Irish Sweetness

          Bernie Bernie … oh bayyyy-beee SU-PER-BOWL ……

  • The GP

    Maybe Canada should now watch the Revenant with the bear attack.

    • CanadaBear

      I’m sure we’ll see it. We got a gift cert at X-mas for the theaters.

  • Doc Nitty
    • Doc Nitty
    • CanadaBear

      These guys are such fuck heads. They act like they are making some ground breaking statement. All they are really doing is trying to use the govt land for grazing and not pay for it. Even the people they say they are standing up for don’t want their help. It seems like the govt has the perfect strategy. Wait them out and they will give up. All the attention they are craving isn’t panning out. Time for all the Bubba’s to go back to Bubbaville.

      • BearDown100393

        Barricade them. Ignore them. Starve them.

      • willbest

        In point of fact, they aren’t allowed to pay for it. The BLM keeps reducing the number of available of grazing and water permits, despite having no evidence that such grazing/water usage reduces bird procreation, and in fact having evidence to suggest that it increases bird procreation. Which is the whole point of that particular wildlife refuge

  • DaMurph

    Im looking back at all the posts, and I have no idea how we get so far off point! Anyone that jumps on here and isnt a reg would read down the remarks and be like WTF?

    • Doc Nitty

      That’s why this blog is so one of a kind.

      • DaMurph

        We are on motherfucking grazing rights! What other football blog ends up discussing fucking grazing rights?

        • BillW

          I would think that would be a big topic up in cow country.

    • BillW

      That’s for sure. I go away for maybe an hour and it’s up to 200 comments. And the Bears are not even playing anymore.

    • willbest

      Why would you read the comments in posts from weeks ago?

      • BillW

        I’m sure he means just this thread.

      • DaMurph

        From this thread will, just this thread.

        • willbest

          Oh well, its just that odd period of time where everybody is around because of the playoffs, and we don’t have any Bears news to talk about except possibly maybe needing a new OC.

          • MB30SD

            nope, this always happens in the ‘offseason’.

            Why I feel sometimes during the season there can be too much football talk, stats, I think this/that, what abut this rule. It gets tiresome sometimes… fucking SNOOOORE!

            The offseason is where we really find out who the regs are, because we come to shoot the shit with each other about everything, not just bore each other with football football football.

          • willbest

            Come to think of it, there wasn’t much of an off-season last year because GM, HC, Cutler, slave auction… err combine, and FA were all pretty attention getting as a Bears fan.

          • MB30SD

            there’s always that ‘peripheral’ shit, but it’s not like there’s weekly W/L, injuries, packer week, etc… and other ‘game day’ week shit to talk about.

          • burntorangenavyblue

            Don’t forget wearing tin hats and judging bewbs

      • Irish Sweetness

        Because I wrote stuff.

        (checks fingernails)

  • MB30SD
    • The GP

      Oh so far far far ahead of its time

    • SC Dave

      I wws hoping it was an SR-71.

  • The GP

    Here’s the first part of the speech:

    https://youtu.be/W3Id3eya7D0?t=87

    It was briefly interrupted, but then it continued on:

    https://youtu.be/Jvl0MDXH96M?t=156

    • Scharfinator

      Berserk. Ordering of unlawful seizure of goods before he’s even president!

      • MB30SD

        dude’s a nutter.

        • AlbertInTucson

          As opposed to all those bright folks running D.C, Chicago , Springfield, hell, about every other government entity one can think of.

          No rocket scientists running the show in local government here, that’s for sure.

        • willbest

          Our beloved godfather Rahm Emanuel paid the victim’s family $5 million of taxpayer money to keep quiet about the murder of Laquan McDonald until the criminal trial could have been resolved (after his reelection).

          Hillary Clinton’s “foundation” received $9 million dollars in “donations” from organizations doing business before her while she was Sec. of State.

          Nuts starts looking pretty good.

          • MB30SD

            I should have said asshole, dude’s a massive asshole.

      • SC Dave

        Thumbs upon the ‘before he’s even president’ part. Well played!

        • Scharfinator

          If you’re going to make a mockery of US law, you better do your best to be president FIRST.

      • willbest

        In fairness, he might not have read the SC opinion on that. It has only been since June 15, 2015 that the government couldn’t seize personal property without just compensation. Then again… he announced on June 16th he was running for president. Perhaps what he really objects to is that ruling.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Just based on the hair alone … you can’t vote for that hair … not that it matters who you vote for anyway … but just on the hair ….

  • burntorangenavyblue

    Just wanted to say that sorry I haven’t been on much this season.

    My wife and I have been busy with preparing for the arrival of our first child come this late spring. It’ll be a girl and I can’t wait to be an awesome father! She will be a future Bears fan, no doubt! I pop in and read up on what you nutcases are up to and you guys help me have a good laugh to get me through the day! I will be sure to keep you posted on the kid stuff cuz I know you guys like to hear about that stuff. Whoot whoot!

    • The GP

      congrats on your new family, best of health

    • MB30SD

      Congrats maings. Awesome. Daughters are the best. Enjoy!

    • Doc Nitty

      Great Job Burnt! Now ornamentalize!

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene
      • burntorangenavyblue

        Hahaha! Thanks!

        • MB30SD
          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene
          • burntorangenavyblue

            I’ve been working children for 16 years. I will proudly embrace the downfall of parenthood as opposed to the shit I deal with on a daily basis from the job

        • MB30SD
          • burntorangenavyblue

            I’m guilty of watching that show, haha

          • MB30SD

            Never watched it. Through the wormhole is awesome

    • CanadaBear

      Congrats Man! Good on ya!

    • BillW

      Great news! Congrats!

    • willbest

      Congrats!

    • Trac

      Start saving for makeup already, mmkay. Congrats B.O.

      • MB30SD

        uhhhhhhggggg… I hadn’t even thought of that yet!??!

        Damn you!

      • burntorangenavyblue

        My wife almost never use makeup, and she’s an 8 without it. She is filipino-american and I’m german-american. I don’t really think makeup will be a concern. I plan on using money on keeping her active and involved with sports and school/church activities.

        • Cormonster

          Filipino-American chicks are hot. Love the food too. My buddy’s Filipino Mom called me and my brother her sons and used to feed us all the time.

          • burntorangenavyblue

            Their food is amazing. They generally eat healthier too so I have picked up on some of their habits. They are also some of the nicest group of people too.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Sleeeep. SleeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEP !!!

      Do it now. Cherish it. Remember it. Then forget it.

  • BearDown100393

    Who cares about Eli?

    • willbest

      I care. I care deeply.

    • MB30SD

      his mom?

    • BillW

      “Mommy always liked him best”
      Peyton, to the tune of the Nationwide Jingle

  • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

    I bought a Powerball ticket while travelling in Indiana the other day. The jackpot is 700 million dollars. The cost of the ticket is 2.00 ….. and here’s how it played out….
    Me: one powerball ticket please
    worker: only one?
    Me: yup, just one
    worker: you know you’d have much better odds if you bought a bunch
    Me: I’m good, thanks!
    worker: ok……… (long drawn out OK, as in ok you stupid motherfucker, I guess you don’t want to win)
    Me: anything more than 1 ticket is a waste. The odds are 1 in 230 million. How many are most people buying?
    worker: I’d say about 20 to 50
    Me: do you think they know that the odds really don’t change even if you bought a half of a million tickets?
    worker: I think these folks have a better chance of winning than you do with your one ticket.
    Me: give me one instant scratch off (pays 1.00, wins 4.00)
    Me: now it looks like I bought my Powerball ticket for 0.00
    worker: how? you just paid me 2.00 for it.
    I smile and walk out to my car. These people get to vote for a president.

    • MB30SD

      Hahahahahaha! Excellent!

      “Lottery – A tax on people who can’t do the maths”

    • The GP

      That’s when you pull your Lovitz as Master Thespian impression out and wave at the sky and go

      “FINANCE!!”

      and then walk out

      https://vimeo.com/15476780

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        haha

        • MB30SD

          I gots to bust me out onea thems pencil-thin mustaches at some point

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            I love Jon Lovitz. I wish he was in more shit.

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        I told my friend at lunch about the little exchange and being the asshole he is he says, “well, technically, since you won 4.00 and only spent 3.00 on tickets they paid you 1.00 to buy the tickets…”
        I wasn’t about to tell some hillbilly with a Taurus Judge Revolver under the register that they paid me 1.00 to buy my lottery tickets.

        • willbest

          For his perspective he doesn’t care. He got paid 30 cents, and the state lotto is out $1.30

        • The GP
          • MB30SD

            Stoled

        • Irish Sweetness

          That Raging Judge with the .454 Casul’s. Wow.

      • Shady

        Genius!

    • burntorangenavyblue

      To be fair, it’s now over 800 million.

      On another note, I’m from Indiana. Sorry you had to deal with someone so stupid. Since gas stations get a cut of selling winning tickets, it’s ridiculous that many now have to be “salespeople” for pushing that to customers.

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        Just reread my post, wasnt ripping on Indiana, just normal folk in general getting a vote despite missing a partof their brain I’m in IL and a kid intimated he’d rape my 5yr old since I was white. Haha, every state has its Allstate.

        • MB30SD

          I would have fucking killed him.

          • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

            He was blocks sway and I knew it was bluster. 100yrs ago I would have and I would have spent the night in jail

        • Irish Sweetness

          I’d be in jail now if somebody said that to me. No time to think or process. Red mist.

      • AlbertInTucson

        They are saying there’s a chance it could hit a Billion.

        • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

          Al, i can pretty much guarantee i’d be the coolest billionaire on the planet. Go to your local sports bar to watch the Bears in AZ????? You’d own the sports bar in AZ and i’d hire an ex-bear to be the head bartender. Probably not the Fridge though.

          • AlbertInTucson

            No argument from me but, no WAY I buy a bar. Too many headaches. You REALLY have to know the ins and outs of the bar biz or the help can steal you blind.

            Me? I’d want to be the most anonymous lottery winner ever.

          • AlbertInTucson

            I’m part of a Powerball pool at work.

            That would probably blow the anonymity thing Lottery Lightning ever strikes.

          • Irish Sweetness

            If I won two billion dollars I’d buy the Bears. I would. Every single penny.

    • willbest

      I am not following. If you bought 500,000 tickets (assuming you prevent duplicates) your odds of landing the jackpot are 1 in 600. And you are also increasing your likelihood of lesser cash prizes. Granted you don’t want to bet your life on either but there is a significant difference between the two.
      A bunch of years ago I calculated out the ROI on one of the multi-states being as good as spending time in Vegas in the 340 million range. Much over that you run too much risk of multiple ticket hits shredding your expected winnings and too much below it and your expected losses would be considered criminal by the Nevada gaming commission.

      • The GP

        http://www.amstat.org/publications/jse/v13n2/mecklin.html

        Section 4: Even if we buy hundreds or thousands or even millions of tickets when the expectation is positive, we will probably die long before we are ahead. If we lowered the confidence level to 50% or even 10%, we would still expect to need to play 10 to 20 billion times to realize a profit.

        • willbest

          Taxes aren’t unique to gambling. They retard expected returns across the board.

          • The GP
          • willbest

            The point I was making wasn’t about it being profitable. Its never profitable, the question is whether you are losing 75 cents of every dollar you contribute, or only 10 cents of every dollar. How much do you want to pay for the dream? A lot of people throw change in a pool of water.

            Taxes however is going to affect that dollar no matter what I invest it in. Hell, in Illinois its going to affect that dollar no matter what I do with it.

          • SC Dave

            Remember, in their eyes, the government’s share is *never* enough.

            “Don’t ask me what I want it for, unless you want to pay some more.”
            – George Harrison

          • Irish Sweetness

            Make the bookmaker responsible for tax, not the bettor. In Ireland, years back, one bookmaker abolished taxing the customer – they were making so much profit, it was nothing to them. Everyone else followed suit. Been tax free for the customer ever since.

        • MB30SD

          jesus fucking christ… my head just essploded!

          I was told there’d be no maths involved when I signed up.

        • AlbertInTucson

          “If there’s a 50-50 chance on an outcome, there’s 90% chance it’ll be the wrong outcome.” – Murphy’s Law.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I used to smile at people who’d shake their head when they found out I when I had to run somewhere to back a horse, but sure as rain they’d spend more than a few bucks twice a week backing their lottery horse at 100 million to 1.

  • Doc Nitty

    I knew Amos had a great year. I had no idea he led the team in tackles! Well done, ROOK!

    • MB30SD

      He should buy fucking one play shae a steak dinner.

      “And I’d like to thank my useless, porous, pathetically puss linebackers for this opportunity.”

      SMMFH

    • SC Dave

      I remember his namebeing called here a lot midseason.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Wow.

      Is Rolle signed through next year?

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    just amazing how once the season ended for the Bears all the tangents the comment section easily veers off to

    • MB30SD

      Love it.

      logging on just to see 10 fucking thesis-long posts on why the players should like some other OC instead of gase, and why the fieldgoal distance ‘i feel’ is better now, or some such other total inconsequential bullshit that never varies from bears football and outside topics and links are rarely proffered… makes want to change channel. But that’s just me.

      Some are MUCH more guilty than others. Uhhhhhgggggg….

      • MB30SD

        Wait… I just realized something as I was stepping down from my soapbox. What day is it?!

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          BOOB DAY!!!

          • MB30SD

            WOOT WOOOT!

            Look up!

        • SC Dave

          S’ok… t’was a fine rant, laddie!

          • MB30SD

            thanks dave.

  • MB30SD

    HAPPY FIRST FRIDAY OF THE POST-SEASON BOYS!!

    This is most CERTAINLY not safe for work Jokey!

    http://browni.tumblr.com/

    Not into posting ‘full porn’, but some people are incorrigible, just skip the BJ if it’s too hard (hee hee) for your delicate sensibilities. Btw, the girl gyrating on the chair is, um, interesting. The blond in the white top is insane too. God I love women.

  • SC Dave

    While its second string, I’m happy to see Greg Olsen finally be named All-Pro

    • BerwynBomber

      2nd team All-Pro is no small thing.

      Also saw our ex-rival Chaz Woodson was named 2nd team. Good for him given his age, retirement, etc.

  • MB30SD

    ok, so check this out.

    I’ve been on and off sick (sinus infection I think) since fucking november. Just part of having my little guy in school for the first time. (Get ready burnt)

    So I haven’t been working out for almost 3 months, which is NOT normal for me. I’ve also been eating a ton of sugar and carbs… again not at all normal. So here’s the deal come monday (I’ll still have 2 or 3 days of stronger antibiotics this time), the plan is to go hardcore back on the regimen, which includes:

    * No sugar (or as little processed sugar as possible. It’s almost impossible to totally avoid these days, and I have two young kids)

    * No processed carbs – Rice is ok with sushi once or twice a week, but no bread/pasta/tortillas, etc…

    * Back on working our hard and heavy (that’s what she said) in the weight room 3 times a week

    * Cardio – swim/bike/run at least 2-3 times a week

    * only drink once or twice a week and a 3 drink max

    * Yoga – once or twice a week

    * cut down on dating – for bad eating/late nights/spending TONS of money (about $120/date)

    What am I missing? What are you guys doing?

    • SC Dave

      I like it, except the chronic cardio. I suggest checking our Mark Sisson and his priimal lifestyle stuff. I think it would resonate with you.

      • MB30SD

        Nice. I have, thanks dave. I get the cardio stuff, but honestly, I like it. Let’s me go to my happy place. Disconnect my mind sometimes, totally turbo boost it others. I’ve had some of my best ideas while swimming/riding/running.

        What do you do out in SC?

        • SC Dave

          Too little, but I’m old. My favorite is backpacking in the mountains of western NC…

          Periodically when i get pissed at being doughy I’ll get on my bowflex, but that just gives tone. I’m just a skinny old bitch… 5’10” (and shrinking) and about 175. Which is about 10 to 15 more pounds than i want to carry on old knees.

          • MB30SD

            sounds nice. I surf and hike (http://torreypine.org/) for my non-gym stuff. You guys have more ‘wilderness’ close by. Wish there were more here.

          • SC Dave

            Its funny, but its only the past four or five years i discovered all this. What a waste of time. Next think it to buy a good kayak and start check cking out the great blueways of America. Since i have some decent gear now, it could easily fit in the holds of a good kayak. And floating is easier on the knees amd hips than climbing up (small eastern) mountains.

          • MB30SD

            excellent. I have my dads sea kayak. Haven’t taken it out in a while, but it’s a blast.

          • SC Dave

            You know what, dude? I still know I want to meet you someday.

          • MB30SD

            100% my maings. We’ll totally like each other. I’m just a fucking asshole here because I’m trying to be funny and entertain you guys. I’m actually a pretty normal/nice/down to earth guy in reals lifes. Right murph… RIGHT!??!?

            I plan on catching at least 2 games in chi next year… let’s make it happen.

          • The GP

            I, however, am just a giant prick IRL as well.

          • MB30SD

            and you’re showing up to one of them with us even if you have the hivy

          • Doc Nitty

            Rafting the rivers of Oregon and Northern Cali were some of the best times of my life.

          • MB30SD

            EDIT: WILL be

      • SC Dave

        Seriously, MB. Sincerely.

      • willbest

        Children don’t appreciate it, and its expensive. And then they waste expensive food, and then I eat their wasted expensive food because its expensive.

        I will say living in a pretty nice suburb had the unintended consequence of ending up around people that generally try to avoid process foods and engage in a healthy lifestyle. There is positive peer pressure here.

        • SC Dave

          A good thing, Will. As Trac might say (when he’s not talking about vaginas), count your blessings.

          • MB30SD

            trac talks about vaginas?!?!

        • MB30SD

          totally will. I buy my daugher the ~$7 mac & cheese at wholefoods (I only buy them organic, no pesticide, blah blah) expensive shit. She takes one bite and is “full” and I’m left staring at a $7 bill that I’m just going to throw away. Sometimes the waste gets the best of me and I have a few spoonfulls.

          Btw, ~$7 mac & cheese tastes like unicorn milk mixed with candy mixed with crack.

          • willbest

            To you. Grab her the blue box and she will inhale it and ask for seconds. Big Corps knows how to get you young.

          • MB30SD

            yep, that’s the one she loves, but I refuse to buy it for her. garbage.

    • burntorangenavyblue

      Skip out on the dates and NOT be a master of your domain? NTTAWWT

      • MB30SD

        I said cut down… not eliminate lad

    • Shady

      I could hook you up with a yoga instructor if you want…

    • Trac

      I’m a little concerned that you start the #5 bullet point with “I only” drink once or twice a week…

      Hahaha

      • MB30SD

        I’m actually not a big drinker at all trac, but it makes dates a LOT more fun.

        • Makes women more fun a.d bumped up on the scale

          • MB30SD

            yeah, I don’t ask ’em from drinks to dinner if I’m not into them, so that’s not the deal. if anything just leads to a better all around date.

          • Irish Sweetness

            But I found with drinking, you end up with women you shouldn’t be with. The real finds don’t want to be around drinkers. I did that shit for 20 years and got the last one pregnant. Having said that, it gave me my two little princesses and a reason to be.

            It’s an interesting question though – does anyone on here feel that their life is improved by drinking? Thought for the day.

          • MB30SD

            Not looking for ms. Right at this stage.

            No.

        • Trac

          I thought we had to hit the sauce 2 or 3 times a day to be a true blog reg. No?

          • MB30SD

            Naaaaaaah

          • Trac

            Smh. Go back to sleep. Hahaha

          • MB30SD

            Had sushi last night with a buddy and ordered hot green tea. Bad choice, I was up all fucking night.

            Had to remind myself… Tea has caffeine dipshit. Smh

    • willbest

      You can try neti pots when you get a cold. My son was always getting sinus infections, and his allergist told us to give it a try. He fought it a bit, but hasn’t had a sinus infection since.
      I like intermittent fasting. Try to avoid food for 16-hr two or three times a week. (ie. No food from 7pm to 11a the next day).

      Cold rice is a form of resistant starch, and arguably does more for your gut bacteria than it does for you. You probably don’t even need to hold back on it, but unless you are a sushi chef, that crap is expensive.

      Avoid beer, sugar drinks, and white wines and you are generally fine in the alcohol department.
      I don’t know what exactly dates have to do with anything with it. I haven’t been to a restaurant yet where you couldn’t get something that wasn’t horribly unhealthy. Even McD’s has the grilled chicken salad.

      Mainly though DONT FINISH YOUR KIDS FOOD.

      • SC Dave

        I ain’t giving up my beer, damnit!

      • MB30SD

        Good ones thanks will. I’ve tried a neti pot, but not as a daily thing?

        I’ve been almost full paleo (with much less red meat/bacon) for about 6 years, and I’ve always worked out hard and eaten well. The last 3 months have been brutal.

        yeah I do IF too, but it’s hard for me since my metabolism is so fast, I low glucose easily and get all dizzy and light headed. But I do as much as I can take.

        I don’t drink beer anymore. I pretty much exclusively drink vodka sodas or red wine.

        As for the dates. It’s a long story, but I take chicks out in Del Mar. $10-15 per drink, then if I like them, I take them to dinner same night (usually sushi cause I fucking love it), that’s $100 cause I eat the cray shit, then if all goes well… a late night without much sleep… do that a couple times a week and it’s a big workout/lifestyle disruption.

        #firstworldproblemsarereal

        • willbest

          We do it to him twice a day about a day or two after the cold starts until the symptoms start to subside (usually another 2-5 days).

          Even I started doing it this year. I was in and around a bunch construction sites this year (well a lot more than normal) and it was causing me to get sinus infections when I had a cold. All that extra dust. I would wear a mask but you know I didn’t want to look like a pussy. Damn peer pressure.

          • MB30SD

            yep. thanks, I’ll try it next time.

        • Doc Nitty

          And maybe try to slow down and enjoy your food.

          • MB30SD

            hahahahaha… you know me too well.

        • Irish Sweetness

          What happened to going Dutch? You have to pay for their shit? Sounds like Asia.

          • MB30SD

            If you want to get laid

          • CanadaBear

            You really need to get out more Irish. Going Dutch ain’t ever gonna get you laid.

      • Doc Nitty

        Mmmmm. Kids leftovers…

        • MB30SD

          hahahaha

      • Irish Sweetness

        Rice is basically just sugar.

        And having young kids, sickness is just a part of life. Filthier than small hospitals. With nits.

    • AlbertInTucson

      I know what I’M missing: Commitment.

      • MB30SD

        that’s always the hardest part. you have to just make it your lifestyle, then there is no commitment needed

        • AlbertInTucson

          I had a nice streak of 30 minutes a day going on the elipitcal over the summer. But once the days get shorter and it stays darker later in the morning I just can’t drag my ass out of bed early enough exercise.

          • MB30SD

            hahahahaha… I’ve been working out since I was in 7th grade Al, it’s just what I do. For people who never have, gotta find something fun you really enjoy doing… hiking or surfing (not for you), or whatever else they do out there. Golf maybe?

          • AlbertInTucson

            Golf? Hah! Golf defeated me decades ago. I could never lose the baseball swing.

            Mentioned before I played softball until I hit a 60 little while back but gave it up because I was more concerned about something going “SNAP” while trying to leg one out.

            The Eliptical is set up so I can watch DVDs. I only have like, 500 or so of THOSE to chose from.

            Shame on me.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I was doing okay until Christmas, when chocolate happened and Tesco’s ran out of my muesli. It’s surprising, but you can basically live on Tesco’s delicious muesli, with bananas in. Three bowls of that a day and you’re good, with regular lunchtime walks (1 hour 4 times a week). Some chicken about every second day. I dropped about 10 kilos doing that, and I’ll be good again in a week or so.

      • Johnnywad

        Tesco’s? Muesli? Kilos? ………TO THE INTERNET!!!!!!!

  • Trac

    Ouch, Clowney ‘ s vagina still hasn’t healed up. When is it safe to call the guy a bust?

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2016/01/08/jadeveon-clowney-questionable-for-texans-vs-chiefs/

    • SC Dave

      Yeah, what a shame. Nutrition?

      Actually, maybe he’ll bust out for Houston, we take a flyer, health miraculously recovers and we get a beast on the cheap.

      Hug that dream, Dave.

      • Trac

        I was thinking the same thing. Ced Benson came to mind. Lol

      • willbest

        Like Zach Miller

        • MB30SD

          yep, a little

          *sniff*

    • MB30SD

      riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…… now.

    • AlbertInTucson

      4.5 Sacks this year. None since October.

      All while playing opposite the most feared D-Lineman in the game.

  • MB30SD

    “Ditka told the Chicago Sun-Times, “I do like Donald Trump. I think he- sometimes he’s gotta think a little bit before he says things, but I think he’s on the right track.” And every head in the city of Chicago exploded. Trump responded with, “He’s a great guy. A total winner. A totally great guy and a total winner. And I am honored to hear such nice things said about me that are totally unsolicited!””

    • AlbertInTucson

      As opposed to the likes of Rahm “Up to My Eyeballs In Scandal and Corruption” Emmanuel.

    • Trac

      Could it be that if the Donald gets elected, he might just be the only politician in Washington that can’t be blackmailed? They’re all dirty my maings.

      • willbest

        You will know if he can or can’t be blackmailed by whether or not he is assassinated.

        • Irish Sweetness

          That will only happen if he takes on the Fed.

          • EnderWiggin

            Or pharmaceuticals, or farmers, or oil, or “peace keeping” missions…….

    • willbest

      I don’t know if you remember when Seven of Nine’s ex-husband got taken down in that sex scandal uncovered by Obama allies in 2004 and he ended up with a clear shot to the Senate seat the IL GOP tried to tap Ditka to run against him. He declined.

    • Irish Sweetness

      You mean that dude that pulled a Packers jersey on?

  • AlbertInTucson

    A “Joe Versus The Volcano” reference from the Blogfather.

    Tom Hanks didn’t buy up all those prints and destroy them?

    OK, OK, it’s not THAT bad.

    “Pleasant but pointless.” – Leonard Maltin.

  • willbest

    I will toss out an irrelevant topic that has been on my mind today. Star Wars the Force Awakens passed Avatar to be the highest grossing movie all time at $760 million. It did this in 20 days. It took Avatar 34 weeks. Now Avatar is not a good movie, but the Force Awakens (directed by Abrams) was a remake of New Hope the way Star Trek Into Darkness (directed by Abrams) was a remake of Wrath of Khan. How the hell is it not only worthy of the #1 box office draw, but to have done so by obliterating the previous record in level of enthusiasm.

    • Doc Nitty

      I think what skews the stats a bit is that Star Wars nerds, and there are many, went to see the movie many times over. I thought it was great and am not that surprised. The minute Harrison Ford signed on you knew it would be huge.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I don’t see that as skewing the stats, Doc. Numbers are numbers. Gross is what gets measured. if people are re-watching the movie then that counts. It’s fitting that a SW movie is at the top, that’s as it should be as the biggest franchise of all time. James Cameron doesn’t deserve to be on top, does he? The only two movies I’ve ever seen massive queues for were Ep IV and E.T. Ep IV coined the term ‘blockbuster’, but because it came out in ’77 and there weren’t multplexes back then, you had a movie like ‘Titanic’ in the top spot for so long, and they don’t adjust for inflation. Remember when you used to ram 10p coins into Space Invaders machines? You could get 3 or 4 Mars Bars for that back then. Regardless of Ford being in the movie or not, it was always going to be #1 for me. Next year Ep. 8 – or should I say the remake of Ep. V – will break it again.

        Curious to see what numbers Rogue One does though. There will be a new SW universe movie out every year now that Disney own the cash cow. Lucas said now that Disney own it, they won’t be taking any chances – you can take that to mean that they are just remaking the original trilogy for a new audience, and if they piss off the original fans they don’t care, because we’ll go and see it anyway.

        2016 Rogue One
        2017 Episode VIII (Ep. V)
        2018 Han Solo as-a-kid movie.
        2019 Episode IX

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    Lynch out for Seattle. will make that game a little more interesting

    • Doc Nitty

      No Bueno for Seattle.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Hmm. I need a replacement RB for my Post Season FF team now

  • Irish Sweetness

    GIVE US A NEW THREAD BAMBI !!

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    sounds like Gase is going to be Coaching the Dolphins

  • CanadaBear
    • MB30SD

      Oh hell yes Brandon marshall, Danny t and Voooooon miiiiiiller!

      Yeah, I know they’ll never let him leave but a girl can dream

      Ton of FA tallent out there this year tho

      • CanadaBear

        Hopefully Pace signs a few guys from the second tier. The way he talked it doesn’t sound like he will sign any first tier guys. I’m OK with that. The Beloved have so many issues on D one big signing wouldn’t get it done.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Wilkerson, Trevathan, Janoris Jenkins. We could easily get them. Good draft, get another OT and WR thru FA … bang … playoffs.

      • CanadaBear

        Some good names for sure. A little concerned that Pace has said there won’t be any big splashes, just a lot of quality signings. I do think Pace is correct in not getting into a bidding war for the biggest names. Sure hope we land a few of these guys.

        • MB30SD

          Danny t, Brandon marshall. .. two guy’s like that instead of one von miller type. I like that strategy

        • Irish Sweetness

          None of those are big splashes!

          • CanadaBear

            Von Miller would be a big splash.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Never mentioned VM. The three I mentioned are all currently paid under 2 million. We could buy them all, and still buy a WR or two.

          • CanadaBear

            What they are currently paid has nothing to do with future earnings.

  • BearDown100393

    Adam gets his fins.

  • MB30SD

    Eagles interview Coughlin?!? How’s that work…

    he walks in, throws his sb rings on the table and’s like, “have you watched any of the nfl over the last few decades?”

    • burntorangenavyblue

      That would be something Hard Knocks would bust a nut over to capture that scene

      • Irish Sweetness

        I want us to be on Hard Knocks. We haven’t got a complete arsehole like Brian Cushing to peddle for comedy value though …

        • MB30SD

          While an arsehole, he’s also a badass roidmonkey

      • Irish Sweetness
    • BearDown100393

      They would boo him.

  • Doc Nitty

    So long Gase. Goddamn it!!!!!

  • Trac

    Gase gone! Artic blase swooping in! No problem, one batch of man chili coming right up.

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