336 Comments

Mock Mock Draft 3.0

| April 26th, 2016

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Shit happened since the last Mock Mock draft, huh? The first two picks were traded, the third and fourth picks are huge question marks and the previous consensus top pick could plummet. Oh, and the top linebacker supposedly has a bum knee that will prevent him from having a long career. Shit definitely happened.

The Rams and Eagles made big moves for quarterbacks who definitely aren’t consensus top picks. Hell, one of them was thought of as a late-round sleeper last December. That caused a huge shakeup in the top 10 picks, but probably doesn’t effect the Bears pick too much.

The final Mock Mock Draft is going to have some pretty big changes from last time. At least, I think it will, I don’t even remember who I had going where. Shit, I don’t even remember who I had the Bears picking.

One thing to remember before you dare suggest a player won’t be drafted where I project him: Kyle Long was considered a reach and Gabe Carimi was considered a steal. I’m pretty sure the draft isn’t going to go like this and the Bears probably aren’t going to draft any of the players I have slotted to them. But, whatever.

And we’re off…

1. Los Angeles Rams: Jared Goff, QB, California. This is the pick most people in the know think is going to happen. It makes sense. The new LA teams brings in a good-looking California boy with a big arm. He has major flaws, but he’s probably a safer bet than the other top QB in this draft.

2. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz, QB, Middle of Nowhere. Wentz is huge, athletic and has a big arm. Also supposedly a football junky. Problem: It’s such a crazy projection that nobody knows if those tools are going to translate to the NFL. There have been a lot of big, athletic, strong-armed guys who didn’t make it despite being productive at a major university.

3. San Diego/Los Angeles/San Antonio/Las Vegas Chargers: DeForest Buckner, DL, Oregon. I did a little homework on this one and, by that I mean, I looked at their roster. They have two mediocre, but highly paid offensive tackles and a former first-rounder who has already been kicked inside. They also have somewhat significant investments in their secondary, two good, young pass-rushers and two solid, young inside linebackers. They lack depth and talent on their defensive line. Buckner makes the most sense. Stay classy, San Diego.

4. Jerry Jones: Jalen Ramsey, DB, Florida St. They drafted Byron Jones to be a cornerback last year, but ended up moving him around and he’s now supposedly going to play safety. Ramsey can replace Jones at cornerback or pair with him at safety.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars: Myles Jack, LB/S, UCLA. I don’t know whether or not to believe the talk about Jack’s knee, but I think he and the Jags are a pretty good fit.

6. Baltimore Ravens: Joey Bosa, DE, Ohio Stats. Little known fact: The Ravens are switching to a 4-3 defense. They also badly need to add to their pass rush and replace Terrell Suggs. Bosa is just a classic Baltimore pick.

7. San Francisco 49ers: Emmanuel Ogbah, Edge, Oklahoma State. There’s a surprise in the top-10 every year. This year, it’s Ogbah. Guys that big, athletic and productive are usually good. Like the Bears, the 49ers put strong emphasis on length.

8. Cleveland Browns: Laremy Tunsil, OT, Mississippi. Getting Tunsil here would allow them to trade Joe Thomas for another high pick. My guess is they’d get at least a second rounder for him.

9. Miami Dolphins: Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Ohio State. Trade from Tampa Bay. Rumor is the Dolphins want Elliott badly. They probably wouldn’t have traded out of the top 10 if they knew the Broncos would match the C.J. Anderson offer, so they move up and grab him before either the Giants or the Bears can.

10. New York Giants: Ronnie Stanley, OT, Notre Dame. They took a tackle in the first round last year, but Ereck Flowers didn’t play well as a rookie and is probably better off as a right tackle. Stanley would go much higher in most drafts.

11. Oakland Raiders: Vernon Hargreaves, CB, Florida. This was kind of a worst-case scenario for the Bears, but the Raiders would have a great chance to move up and grab a player who some consider to be the best coverage corner in the draft.

12. New Orleans Saints: A’Shawn Robinson, DL, Alabama. Robinson might be boring to watch, but he dominates the line of scrimmage. He’s been the focus of opposing offenses for two years and they’ve still had a hard time getting him blocked. And he just turned 21.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kevin Dodd, DE, Clemson. Mike Smith is known for liking big defensive ends and Dodd seems to be a good fit.

14. Chicago Bears: William Jackson III, CB, Houston. I didn’t do this mock with the plan that the Bears would end up with one of my favorite players, it just kind of happened. Really, it was a worst-case scenario, but could be a home run. Jackson has a perfect combination of size, length and speed for the Bears defense. He also showed awesome ball skills in his final year at Houston. Ryan Pace said he wanted to add an explosive playmaker, Jackson is that.

15. The Only Ten I See Titans: Jack Conklin, OT, Michigan State. Conklin would likely play the right side with Taylor Lewon as their left tackle. He’s a mauler.

16. Detroit Lions: Sheldon Rankins, DL, Louisville. Rankins has been called a “poor man’s” Aaron Donald. He’s not the athlete or the prospect Donald was, but he’s a legitimate first round talent. Rankins would give the Lions some inside push to help Ziggy Ansah.

17. Atlanta Falcons: Darron Lee, LB, Ohio State. Lee is kind of a poor man’s Myles Jack which works because the Falcons want to run the same kind of the defense the Jaguars do and, in order to do so, they need an athletic linebackers like the Jags got in Jack and the Seahawks (where both team’s head coaches came from) do in Bobby Wagner.

18. Indianapolis Colts: Leonard Floyd, LB, Georgia. I don’t know, the Colts always seem to make bad picks, so I’ll give them Floyd. Floyd could be fine, but only with a defensive coordinator who knows how to use him, I don’t think the Colts will.

19. Buffalo Bill: Shaq Lawson, Edge, Clemson. I don’t know if Lawson is ever going to be a great pass-rusher, but he’d be great value here. At the very least, he’ll set the edge against the run and would really benefit from playing with Marcell Dareus.

20. New York Jets: Eli Apple, CB, Ohio State. Great combination of size and speed. Was very good during the second half of the season for Ohio State last year.

21. Washington Whiteskins: Derrick Henry, RB, Alabama. Pure power with breakaway ability. I get why people are concerned about Henry, but physical freaks with his production usually turn out OK. The Redskins don’t have a decent running back on their roster.

22. Houston Texans: Corey Coleman, WR, Baylor. Coleman adds speed and explosiveness to their offense.

23. Minnesnowta Princes: Josh Doctson, WR, TCU. Maybe the best receiver in the draft, reminds me of Jordy Nelson. The Vikings always seem to draft guys I don’t want them to draft.

24. Cincy Bungles: Will Fuller, WR, Notre Dame. Deep receiver to open up their offense. They lost their second and third receivers in free agency.

25. Shittsburgh Steelers: Artie Burns, CB, Miami. Not talked about  much, but a good fit for Pittsburgh’s defense.

26. Seattle Seahawks: Jarran Reed, DT, Alabama. Seattle lost their brawler in the middle, Brandon Mebane. Reed is a good replacement for him.

27. They think being called “Cheeshead” is a compliment: Kenny Clark, NT, UCLA. The Packers badly need to add talent and depth to their defensive line. Ted Thompson only drafts athletic defensive linemen high, this could be the pick.

28. Kansas City Chiefs: Paxton Lynch, QB, Memphis. Alex Smith is in his 30s and has a long injury history. Plus, he’s not that good. Lynch gives Kansas City someone to develop, which Andy Reid likes to do.

29. Arizona Cardinals: Robert Nkemdiche, DT, Mississippi. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit, right? Nkemdiche might be the most talented player in the draft.

30. Carolina Panthers: Taylor Decker, OT, Ohio State. You watched the Super Bowl, right?

31. Denver Broncos: Chris Jones, DE, Mississippi State. They have to replace Malik Jackson and Jones has a similar skill set.

41: Chicago Bears: Keanu Neal, S, Florida. Great combination of size and athleticism. A big hitter, who is thought to have good range. NFL.com’s Lance Zierlein compared him to Kenny Vaccaro, a first round pick when Ryan Pace was with the Saints.

72. Chicago Bears: Carl Nassib, DE, Penn State. When I watched Nassib, I saw Derek Wolfe. That was probably because they’re both white and wear the number 95, but whatever. He’d play mostly on passing downs as a rookie, developing into a five-technique.

75. Chicago Bears (From Raiders): Jordan Howard, RB, Indiana. Power back to add to Bears rotation.

106. Chicago Bears: Jerrell Adams, TE, South Carolina. Adams will have to bulk up to play as an in-line tight end, but he has a lot of potential. Not really agile enough to be a move tight end, but has good speed.

127. Chicago Bears: Tyrone Holmes, Edge, Montana. Small school guy who could be a situational pass-rusher as a rookie, while contributing on special teams.

150. Chicago Bears: Stephane Nembot, OT, Colorado. Very raw and athletic. Could develop at RT or LT.

185. Chicago Bears: Ronald Blair, DL, Appalachian State. He was dominant against Clemson and finished with 7.5 sacks and 19 tackles for loss last year. A little short, but he has long arms. Drops because he didn’t test well at the combine.

206. Chicago Bears: Brandon Doughty, QB, Western Kentucky. Just figured I had to throw a QB in there somewhere.

230. Chicago Bears: Shawn Williamson, DB, Eastern Wisconsin. Small school prospect with good size and speed. Starts on special teams, chance to develop into more.

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  • Irish Sweetness

    Hope we trade down too.

    • MB30SD

      Irish… 5 rbs. Seriously, 5 dude.

      • willbest

        Everybody but Carey and Langford won’t necessarily make the roster though.

        • MB30SD

          Perry def will… shit if he can stay healthy I think he’s a better back than carry and make take the #2 spot

      • CanadaBear

        Pretty sure POX picks a RB in the draft. Have no idea who or when.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Howard would be the only banger. We don’t have a banger!

    • Big Mike

      I’m here to say I’m having some thoughts of hoping they move up to get Buckner. Depends on the cost. One of the extra third round picks?

  • The Yes Guy

    YES

  • MB30SD

    We leave conk, shaqwagon, and lee on the board for a #3 db… hmmmmm, suspect, at best.

    • Captain Obvious

      I’ve seen here and elsewhere the idea that OT is not a need, because Cutler doesn’t need a stout line because he can extend plays.

      Me, I think OT is always a need, unless you have 2 PB tackles and a backup who would start for 31 other teams.

      This O-line is an OT away from being really good. As much as the D needs help, if a can’t-miss DE isn’t there at 11, a tackle who can help the offense stay on the field for 8+ minute drives, mauling opposing defenses with the running game and keeping Cutler clean on passing downs… that’s almost as good as a top-flight DE.

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        AD may be the only guy that said OT is not a,need. Like you said, it can only make things easier. Easier usually means more success. A top flight o line makes everyone look good.

      • MB30SD

        Exactly capt obvious. To us, this seems….

      • Irish Sweetness

        We were the 5th best run blocking team with Leno last year. We lost our center had a reshuffle, but now we’re healthy and Long is back at RG with a new RT, so we should be better. There might be a guy they like in lower rounds. Pace will most likely go D in the 1st.

        • MB30SD

          There will always be injuries on the line

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      My issue with WJIII is – is there a single WR in that conference that will have an NFL career?

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        interesting point.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          He missed the game against Memphis, which would have at least been an interesting matchup (Lynch).
          I’ll give him that on paper, he played well against FSU. I might go look that one up.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      Yeah, way too much talent at areas of need still on the board, even with trading down…

    • Irish Sweetness

      Conk’s a #3 OT. We don’t technically need an OT at 11. Shaq is down the list of DEs, and APce doens’t draft the ones with short arms. Lee is what 5th 6th or 7th LB? WJAX is some people’s idea of #2 DB. PLus he’s bigger than Hargeaves … but I haven’t seen either play, so …

      • Shady

        Don’t put too much emphasis on rankings, it’s just an exercise for draftniks and talking heads before the draft. Even if these guys consult with league ‘insiders’ they could be given misinformation.

    • Sactowns#1

      Irish Jack Conklin getting some love. Lets hope he’s a better athlete than his brother and a better singer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAQ2DAYWqxg

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      I just was not impressed by Conklin on film, at least as a LT. Maybe he could be an improvement at RT, but at LT? Looked slow and stiff to me.

      • Shady

        Look at his tape against Oregon and Buckner. Impressive.

        • willbest

          The question is does that show his potential, or that Buckner isn’t all that?

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            He did look good against Buckner.

          • Big Mike

            You can play that game all day long. But Bucker is a consensus stud. Guys with his scores coming into the draft are named Kalil Mack, Sammy Watkins, Amari Cooper big time studs.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            He didn’t show it in that game. He’s a physical specimen, but those big numbers he put up appear to have been against weak sisters within the PAC-12. That concerns me a little bit.

          • Big Mike

            Or maybe Conklin is the very best he’s played against.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            That would not surprise me, because the PAC-12 sucks.

          • Big Mike

            All I know is that Boise is in Oregon and Shea Mclellin came from Boise so who knows what’s going in that area of the country.

      • Conk is a day 1 RT. Just a MOFO who wants to bury ppl into the ground. Defenders are NOT gonna be looking forward to lining up on goaline and seeing Long, Conk and Urein coming at them.

        Conk might also be a starting LT.

        The way LTs have panned out recently (so many duds), that might be all we need.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Agree on RT. But is that our biggest need this high?

          • That was my only concern. Not necessarily the need, but the draft value, esp compared to what we have.

            I don’t want Zeke cuz we have Langford and HB is not good top 10 value usu.

            But RT? Dunno. I mean, if he’s a 10 year anchor, that’s value, but what I don’t know is how good/sucky Massie/Leno really are.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I think the defensive talent available at 11 will be too compelling to pass up.

          • Then it becomes the classic need vs BPA.

            Do we get the #1RT, 3rd best LT in Conk

            Or do we get the 3rd best DE/DT, or 2nd best CB?

            POX will have a chart determining how much better Conk is than say Ogbah, Dodd, WJ3…we just have no clue how that chart looks.

            I could see Conk falling into the late teens too.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Easy, we get the freak safety that brings 230lbs to the party….c’mon, you knew it was coming.
            D-Lee.

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    Baltimore is moving to the 4-3?

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Not saying Doctson sucks, but the Nelson comparison?
    Nelson was 2 inches taller and 20+ lbs heavier. He also was still recuperating from a knee injury at the combine. He was, and is, way faster and explosive than Doctson.
    Farmboy doesn’t get outmuscled much for the ball, whereas that’s probably the significant concern with Doctson at this point.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    206. Doughty…sure, if you’re going to take a developmental QB, take the one that’s going to be 25 (?!?) and has bad knees.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I don’t see why we would take a dev QB when we already have one.

      • CanadaBear

        Actually 2. Fales and Blanchard.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I’m guessing/hoping we swap out Blanchard for a vet like Glennon.

          • CanadaBear

            Not sure what you’d have to give up to get Glennon. It’s a cinch Blanchard or Fales wouldn’t get it done in a trade.

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      haha, you love giving AD a hard time.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Don’t understand that Colts pick at all either.

  • CanadaBear
  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    This looks like Phil Emery’s fever dream. Bunch of small school projects, a trade down that costs us, and a reach at #14.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Jags probably skip the injury flagged Jacks and go with Bosa, then the Ravens need an OT.

    It’s gotten really trendy since the NFL team mocked #3 to Buckner …to mock #3 to Buckner …. when Tunsil was the consensus best player in the draft the day before.

    • There’s something going on with Tunsil.

      Don’t know if it’s the usual draft BS, or something real.

      Maybe teams are skittish on drafting LTs high nowadays.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        His teammate throwing him under the bus during combine interviews hasn’t helped…I’m guessing.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    "#Eagles want Bradford as the starter. The draft pick is to sit to be groomed. Trading Sam would ruin that." – Ian pic.twitter.com/uC849k9C2D— NFL Total Access (@NFLTotalAccess) April 25, 2016

    • willbest

      In point of fact trading away all those picks to get Wentz, Goff or Lynch means they aren’t going to be competitive for a couple years anyway, so they might as well have the guy ride pine, learn to be an NFL QB and roll him out in a year or two.

  • Sactowns#1

    You’re going to take a CB over Darron Lee or Shaq Lawson? Lets hope Pace isn’t as crazy as you are.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Man, if Porter goes down we are fucked. Proper fucked.

      • willbest

        We had that no name guy handling the slot and it worked out okay. In fact, I noticed when he got injured and wasn’t there to do it anymore.

        • Sactowns#1

          Don’t we still have McMannis and Fuller?

          • Irish Sweetness

            I think we signed McMannis back. Fuller’s there.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Calahan? Bryce?

          • willbest

            Calahan sounds right.

        • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

          ok…..as in losing several games in the 4th quarter because we had no name guys out there on D??

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      Now, would I be OK if we took Ramsey? Absofuckinglutely.
      But WJ3 plays against shit competition.
      I just don’t understand AD trading the Bears down 3 spots to take a lesser talent at corner. What exactly is the point of that?

      • MB30SD

        Yep

  • Sactowns#1

    With Brady being suspended its far less likely we pick up Garappolo for a couple draft picks. Jimmy is going to have a chance to show his wares and after that he may be unattainable. 🙁

  • willbest

    I get a tingle thinking we are about 57 hours away from this all being moot.

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  • Big Mike

    Trade back 4 spots, give up the best CB in the draft for the 2nd best and pick up a third round pick. Not sure what to make of this. Why CB? Why not I guess. Then we take a RB with the extra pick. We take one big guy a DE in the 3rd round. Very interesting take. Safety, CB, RB, TE. Very interesting.

    • Sactowns#1

      Yeah forget all that. I want D-line, D-line, O-line, LB, CB

      • Big Mike

        It’s just a very different set of picks than I’ve been reading about. I don’t know enough about any of these guys to object. What this really points out, is who knows… If the the CB taken in round 1 turns into a stud and the safety they take in rd 2 turns into a stud, well there you go. Not bad to have a solid secondary.

      • MB30SD

        Exactly this

      • We still need a S.

        Rolle is not the answer, and Amos, while impressive, has only done it 1 year.
        We are dangerously thin at S, a position that gets inj all the time.

        If we trade back and get an extra 3rd, we need to trade that extra 3rd to move back into the back end of the 1st and draft S Carl Joseph.

        IF we draft say Conklin and CarL Joseph, that’d be great.

        Then BPA Dline in 2nd (deep class).

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          (whispers) it’s a K

          • Like Karl Marx? NVM. that commie bastard.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I’d be OK with that. Not thrilled with an OT in the first that is not Tunsil, but I’d survive. He would probably start at RT.
            Joseph would be fun as hell to watch.

        • Sactowns#1

          We don’t need a monster safety if we have a super stud D line.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    A little concerned that Elliott said the Bears love him.

    • Sactowns#1

      Just prepping for his upcoming sitcom, Everybody Loves Zeke.

    • Big Mike

      Not sold on taking a RB. But what if… the guy is as good as @Irish_Sweetness:disqus thinks he is 🙂

      • willbest

        If only all our practice squad guys were.

    • Jokey

      Yeah, either he doesn’t want to come here or he’s an idiot.

  • CanadaBear

    Good podcast about the Bears offseason. Quote of the podcast, “Shea spent 16 games looking for his father.”

    http://www.nfcnorthbarroom.com/bears-barroom-radio-reviewing-free-agency/

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      Someone should have told Shea to take his head out of his ass because no matter how much he looked his father wasn’t going to be there.

      • MB30SD

        Someone should have cut him loose 3 yrs ago… is the reality of the situation

        • CanadaBear

          Let’s go one better, not drafted by the Beloved (in any round).

          • MB30SD

            I think this 20/20 solution MUCH more canada.

            Please sweet baby 8LB jebus, no more WTF moments in our drafts!!

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            the only WTF moments I want are “WTF HOW DID THIS GUY FALL TO US!!!!”

          • The only WTF moment I want is Schefty looking up from his cell and saying, “Hold on guys, there’s been a trade. Yes, Yes, it’s official…The Jets and Bears have made a trade, the Bears will now get Mo Wilkerson and a 4rth”

            Mayock and the rest of the crew, “WOW!”

            Me rosterbating furiously….

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            See, that’s why we can’t have a draft party.

          • Ribeyes for Operators

            Holy shit what a clusterfuck that would be.

          • Draft IN chitown. Partay time!

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I don’t want to have to put on hazmat gear when we pick, know what I’m saying…

          • Ribeyes for Operators

            We want to be those guys up in the Auditorium 3rd balcony screaming obscenities at Joey Bosa.

          • MB30SD

            boom!

  • Ribeyes for Operators

    Tunsil to the Browns is Christmas for them.

  • That Guy

    Two comments about this draft.

    1 – I don’t think its impossible that the top ten go this way, that the Bears trade goes this way, or that the Bears end up with Jackson in the first. But I do highly doubt that we go secondary in both of our top 50 picks.

    2 – I think a third quarterback will go in the first round well before #28. I don’t know that it will be before #11, but I do think KC will be too late to get a shot.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      I agree on both counts. I don’t think the top 3 qbs will even make it out of the top 10 picks, much less all the way to 28.

      • Agree. And there’s also a strong possibility some team jumps us for Zeke

        • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

          if 3 qb’s and Zeke go in the top 10 it will be Defense Christmas for the Bears.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Here’s hoping!

  • Sactowns#1

    In non draft related news, Summer time is rapidly approaching which means camping! Whats your favorite piece of camping equipment? I picked these up 2 years ago and I love em! http://www.amazon.com/MPOWERD-Original-Inflatable-Solar-Lantern/dp/B00DQ1RDWS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1461697047&sr=8-1&keywords=inflatable+solar+lantern

    • willbest

      My dad’s hatchet, which has been retired since my kids were born as my wife doesn’t like camping, nor has she ever been inclined to let me disappear for a week while she watches the kids.

      But on that note, I have finally convinced her that a couple days in a state park with dorm quality showers down the road will not be the end of the world. Well she thinks its only a couple days, its really going to be 4, but I try not to trouble her with the details. So we will be heading to Pennsylvania in June to do that, get some US history exposure in Philly and then hit up Kennywood on our way back. Maybe see the Amish if we have time.

      • Sactowns#1

        Oh man I LOVE Philly! Some of the best food, best bars and best people. Don’t go to Gene’s, it’s shit. Pats is pretty good, Jimmy G’s and Johns Roast Pork are roundly considered the best. Reading Terminal is pretty awesome. Go hungry and just walk around and try the various items.
        The Mutter Medical Museum was really interesting. I think I spent 2-3 hours there. I wouldn’t pay for Independence hall, the liberty bell is free and right there. Most of all have a good trip and bring lots of bourbon, I have a feeling you’re going to need it to get through Kennywood.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I wish there was a searchable ‘DBB lonely planet’ thing on here for all the places you guys talk about …

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            If it makes you feel better, id trade s dozen trips to Philly for one to Thailand.

    • MB30SD
    • DaMurph

      My credit card for checking into Camp Hyatt and Camp Best Western, or Camp Holiday Inn

      • willbest

        Hyatt is a cut above the other two. Must be for special occasions.

        • DaMurph

          Hyatt with wife, other two work for bike trips with da guys!

    • Cormonster

      Chainsaw, followed by a leaf blower. You have those two items, you don’t need a tent, even if it’s snowing out.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Do you scare people into giving up their cabins?

        • Cormonster

          No, but I have scared the shit out of more than a few people by screeching like a very loud bobcat / large wild cat. I’ve also made more than a few massive bonfires while camping. One of them had logs tee-peed about 8 feet high. The flames were 15-20 feet high. I’ve made larger ones than that thanks to the use of a tractor to push a wood pile up 12-15 feet high. Those are a lot of fun, unless it starts getting out of control.

    • CanadaBear

      A vehicle big enough to sleep in with the Honey Bunny just in case weather goes to hell.

    • Irish Sweetness

      In America? It would be the SigSauer P226. And a little gas stove.

  • Freeman called Fleener a girl. Shit’s fuuny. That’s why I didn’t want Fleener in FA.

    Freeman would’ve got 1985blog points, the higest of all blog points, if he would’ve called Fleener a Girly Thor

    • CanadaBear

      I’m genuinely excited about Freeman and DT playing together. They both will be able to switch and call the D and change responsibilities. That should fuck with some teams. Not to mention they will both bring some thump. Something sorely lacking for a while.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse
    • Ribeyes for Operators

      He’s so much better than Eli Apple, the difference is night and day.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        After watching this, I have to agree with you…but I think that’s because Eli Apple sucks.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      Maguire had a broken ankle for most of the game, no wonder he underthrew everything.

    • Irish Sweetness

      First reel : he looks terrible. The only ‘plays’ he makes are on under-thrown balls where he was already beaten.

      He might be good as a safety – just based off that tape – you guys see this stuff week win week out … but it looks like he could get toasted in the NFL as a corner. Pace will be passing on WJAX III.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        If he ever learned to tackle, he’d be serviceable but the form he showed in that game was just tuuuuurrible. Moving him to safety would just get him killed or benched sooner. He needs a great db coach. Has the athleticism.

  • MBP is the McShay to Andy’s Kiper…or the other way around…

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      Whichever one happens to be correct at any given moment, I’ll take.

      • MB30SD

        which one has the weirdest hair? (this is rhetorical of course)

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Hey now!

  • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

    Ezekiel Elliot just told @dpshow he believes the Chicago Bears are “in love with him”.
    Why would you even say that Elliot you fucking dork? Fuck this idiot, he needs to get his weird ass hazed.

    He’s a rookie, he should be carrying pads and washing fucking jockstraps and keep his fucking mouth shut.

    • I’m glad he did say that.
      Now MIA will really want to jump us for Zeke.

      We should bring in Paxton Lynch too and tell him we’re gonna draft him, and to tell ESPN about it.

      • MB30SD

        hahahaha… I’m on board. let’s do this.

      • Captain Obvious

        Yeah, I’d love for the Bears-Elliot love affair to be a smoke screen prompting Miami to jump up and leave a defensive stud to the Bears.

    • MB30SD

      what a tool… but I also heard HS kids are doing sack dances and shit these days.

      Fuck me, I can only imagine what would have happened to me as I got back to the sideline if I’d have tried that shit in HS.

      My Parents: “Coach, what happened to MB?!?”

      My HS Coach: “Sorry Mrs. MB, I had to kill him on the sideline for doing a fucking sackdance… in high school!!”

      My Parents: “Oh, god… ok coach, no problem.”

      • Irish Sweetness

        It looks dumb in the NFL.

        I like that Jarrett Payton story where he made a long TD run in school and then busted some moves. He hears his dad whistle, looks over, and he’s giving it the cut-it-out sign.

    • Johnnywad

      Man that smacks of Cedric Benson bullshit. During his rookie “holdout” he was asked when he’d become the #1 back. To which he basically replied “immediately”. But as it turns out, Benson wasn’t fit to wash Thomas Jones’ jockstrap.

    • Irish Sweetness

      The party central stuff is worrying. I can actually see that face jawing itself now.

      I don’t really care who we get in the first as long as we get Henry in the second … but as long as they get Howard in the 3rd/4th, then we’ve addressed the need.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Watching the Conklin vs. Buckner battle, the guy that impressed me the most?
    Connor Cook.

    • willbest

      Half way through the season people were talking Goff v. Cook. He fell down the draft board.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        His attitude may suck, but he looked sharp, awesome movement in the pocket, got rid of the ball super quick.

        • He’s known as “Hollywood Cook”
          The only good Hollywood came out in Top Gun

          • willbest

            Not a fan of the Michael J Fox rom coms? I mean it was the basis for the movie Cars.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Yeah, I saw that. In the middle of thinking “this Buckner guy is doing nothing” to “hey, Conklin’s holding his own here” … to “wow, who’s that QB?”

      This is maybe what instigates a trade for us. Clearly at 11 there’s a good chance that somebody’s dream QB is on the board, like Cook. Maybe the Pats come up for a sniff?

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse
    • lol I just went straight to the philly comments.

      Didn’t disappoint.

      • MB30SD
        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          lmao

        • MB30SD

          or:

          “as if… you do realize if they get Lynch after trading up to #2, there will literally be a riot on the novacare complex, right?”

  • MB30SD
    • Ribeyes for Operators

      I’m not saying Manziel is not a POS, cause he is. But that skank she’s a junkie.

      After the incident, the cops came. She claimed he slammed her head into the dash, that she tried to fling the door open and jump out, and she burst her ear drum when he hit her. Yet the cops inspected her for injury and she showed none on the side of the road, and they split up after that.

      Those are serious allegations, and yet the burst ear drum was not verified until weeks later.

      Never trust junkies.

      • MB30SD

        yeah, I get it… or never be a complete fucking dumpsterfire of a shitweasle fuckhead idiot who dates junkies… and then hits them because they are both POS humans.

        The fact that the chick is throwing her life away is tragic… as a human. The fact that he had the chance to do something only a tiny percentage of humans ever have a shot at and we’d all kill for…. and is completely pissing it down the drain is the real deal. what a fucking waste of space.

        Speaking of, did you guys see this from JR 1.0: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/15384038/jamarcus-russell-says-play-free-just-wants-another-chance

        Hee hee

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          31 years old. Yeah, time for a comeback…smh.

          • Ribeyes for Operators

            Purple Drank.
            Purple Rain. Drug OD.

            It all fits together.

      • Irish Sweetness

        It’s weird when people talk about people “who need treatment”.

        He doesn’t need any treatment, he just needs to stop drinking.

  • MB30SD
    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      Meh…

      • MB30SD

        depth

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Still pretty meh.

    • We just let go of his younger version in One Play Shea.

      Why get an older broken down Shea?

    • DaMurph

      I was never a fan, except when he was fucking Brady Quinns sister

  • MB30SD

    well aren’t I just the fucking bastion of news and events today.

    Oh well heeeerrrroooooo!

    http://espn.go.com/blog/baltimore-ravens/post/_/id/27250/source-ravens-focused-on-joey-bosa-pass-rushers-at-no-6-pick

    So that’s Goff, wentz, lynch, bosa, tunsil, ramsey, probably buckner, elliot, and jack too? Leaves us a sheeeeeiiiite load of options @ 11 boys.

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      a fucking boatload man. If things play out anywhere close to this there is simply no way that Pace can make a bad choice. Any choice at that point will help fill a need with a top player at that position.

    • “If Bosa is taken in the top five, the Ravens favor taking pass-rushers Shaq Lawson from Clemson or Leonard Floyd from Georgia, the source added.”

      Da faq? This doesn’t really pass the smell test.

      Ravens are infamous for taking BPA

      I can’t imagine them reaching for Lawson or Floyd where’ they’re at.

      And if Zeke is there and Lawson, they should probably take Zeke or even Stanley.

      I thought Bosa was more of a 4-3 DE, and a RE at that.

      But, where Bosa lands will be interesting to me.

      I think Bosa and Jack could fall more than ppl think on Dday.

      • willbest

        Could mean they would just look to trade back. But saying it and doing it are two different things.

      • Irish Sweetness

        The Ravens need OL bigtime.

  • Rappsheet just reported Myles Jack might need microfracture surgery down the line.

    So, on top of his miniscus, he might miss a year down the line, and may never be the same after.

    Like I said from the start, Jack may very well fall to us, or even further.

    Can we risk that after White, Columbo,Carimi..?

    • Ribeyes for Operators

      Heaven help us! We’ll have defensive lineman wearing numbers in the 70s by the bye!

      #WaffleTowelMoment

    • MB30SD

      pass. fuck dat

    • Shady

      Cookie AKA Chris Williams.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Nope. He’s not “falling to you” at that point, it means other teams don’t want to waste their pick on bad apples. At no point can you go “we got the bad apples!”.

  • Shady

    A mock from PFF:
    https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2016/04/25/draft-mock-draft-6-0-trade-at-no-3-shakes-up-top-of-draft/

    Who?

    11. Chicago Bears – Chris Jones, DT, Mississippi State

    Jones brings as much potential as any interior defensive lineman as he was extremely productive (second-best pass rush grade) but there’s still room for improvement when it comes to technique and effort level. His strength is immediately evident on tape, as is his burst off the line of scrimmage. He’s also relatively inexperienced, playing just over 1,000 snaps the last two years, but posting a two-year grade in Buckner’s neighborhood. He’ll add more depth to the Chicago defensive line and we may be talking about him as one of the draft’s best players in a few years.

    [More: Why we should all pay more attention to Chris Jones]

    • MB30SD

      That guy craaaaaazy

      • Irish Sweetness

        Crazy.

        I haven’t seen anyone mock Wentz to be drafted #1? He looks decent.

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      Chris Jones will be someones mo Wilkerson, just not ours at 11

      • willbest

        AD has the broncos taking him instead of Connor Cook

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Because obviously when your starting and backup QB have both departed, your priority in the first round s a project DE.

          I think AD started watching TV right around pick 11/

    • Irish Sweetness

      I just can’t see Pace going with another DT. I can see him going with BPA over a need, but BPA is not going to be a DT unless it’s Buckner.

    • Hands down the weirdest fucking mock yet.

      It’s like they dumped all their data into the predictalator, and it churned out this mock.

  • Ribeyes for Operators

    Skip Bayless, ESPN’s top asshole – wooed away to Fox Sports 1. $6M/yr to say outrageous stupid shit.

    Only guy Troy Aikman ever called an asshole in public.

    • Irish Sweetness

      A chode extraordinaire.

    • MB30SD

      Him, that little fucking weasle kornheiser, and pretty much every other annoying fucking nerd ‘personality’ that’s never played a single down of football in their lives… fuck them. Smh

  • Ribeyes for Operators

    Jones film against LSU, which would be a top foe.

    Great burst, long ass arms, just pushes guys off him and swims extremely well.

    Bad: dogging it. whole plays w/o the motor.

    • Irish Sweetness

      In the comments section all I can see is 3rd round and DUI.

  • SC Dave

    FUCK it. What we need is a franchise QB

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      and a Kicker

      • MB30SD

        Always a kicker

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      Let’s do it!!!!!!

      Everyone knows that best way to win the Super Bowl is simply to have Rodgers on your team. I mean case in point, last year the Broncos fucking dominated and their QB’s were virtually unstoppable!!

      Their defense, although stocked with 4 to 5 Undrafted Rookie Free Agents was one of the top units in the league.

      They also won it with no healthy receivers.

      It was truly a special year.

      • MB30SD

        Hee hee

      • Irish Sweetness

        IKR. The Broncos had two of the worst fkn QBs in the league .. and they won the SB.

        Super pumped for man-christmas. My only real hope for the draft is a trade-down and Derrick Henry, and I’ll trust Pace to knock each one of these out of the park.

        GO BEARS!!!!!!

    • Irish Sweetness

      He’s in the BYU HoF !!

      Gotchyer back Mac! You beautiful bastard.

  • Estherwbergeron4

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!cg572ctwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !cg572n:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsStreamGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!cg572n….,.

    • Ribeyes for Operators

      Lessie Quinn. Ha.

      Let’s do others.

      Mitzy Woozle
      Cindy Haman
      Diane Wurster
      Linda Franklin

      • There’s a few hackers on this site.
        Isn’t there a way to somehow create a spam machine to crash their system?
        Anonymous, anyone?

      • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

        we should make it a requirement to write posts that all follow the stylings of Ichanga and Nnakeme as shown above, the Nigerian gangster equivalent of Strunk and White.

        • Ribeyes for Operators

          Nigerian Strunk & White. LMAO.

    • DaMurph

      I told you, if you have BIG FIRM PERKY tits MB will chauffer you around in that McLaren P1! If this gig has anything to do with aliens or the illuminati then Irish is your man. Come on back and talk to us. You wouldnt by chance be related to Brady Quinn?

  • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

    A new day is upon us and we have to simply acknowledge the past transgressions of the old regimes of the Bears are over and done with. It’s a brand new fucking day. We have a coherent vision of what we want the team to be. We have a coherent plan to build the core of the team. The offseason was a great step forward to restocking a team that has ONE player on it from 2009 that was drafted by the Bears. ONE.

    Now, normally that should make you fucking depressed but that old regime and the constant draft misses and miscalculations are fucking over with. The old regime got fucking passed up by the rest of the league and you can’t miss that often and expect to be successful when the injury and age bug rears it’s ugly head…which it always fucking will.

    The Bears have talent on this roster. Some of it is relatively young, some kind of old but not egregiously bad and some are definitely within 1-3 years of being on the slick and unforgiving downslope.

    The good news is that this draft WILL yield some core members of the team moving forward. The better news is that the free agency period of next year will further bolster it and the 2017 draft will bring in some final pieces.

    Don’t fret your pretty little heads about it Dave and the other haters, Cutler WILL be gone soon enough but the good news is that there will be a real fucking team in place with a real core of OL, DL and specialists where a talented rookie QB can come in and not become Archie Fucking Manning…..and that my friends is a good thing for Bears fans.

    The Packers, Lions and Vikes are fucking dead. Last year was the sound of daddy’s shotgun getting racked. This years is the fucking warning shot past the ear and after that it’s wholesale slaughter, fucking cartel style.

    • That Guy

      2009? We barely have anyone left from 2013 (Trestman’s first year). We have draftees Long and Marquess Wilson (who’s done well for a 7th rounder, but probably won’t get a new deal). We have Cutler, Slauson and Jeffery. We have Gould. That might be it.

      2014 saw a handful more guys that are still here (Ego, Leno, Carey), but a lot of them aren’t long term fixtures either. This team is in major transition and has been for arguably 5 years. We haven’t had a consistent core group since Lovie’s defense got old and started retiring.

    • willbest

      Are you counting Cutler as drafted since we gave up draft picks for him? Because our oldest drafted player right now is Alshon Jeffery.

      Gould the oldest bear was an FA signing in 2005
      Cutler a trade in 2009
      Jeffery drafted 2012
      McManis a trade in 2012

      2013 doubles that to 8 players. Long, Hurst, Wilson, Slausen.

      2014 is where you start seeing some retention Fuller, Ego, Sutton, Carey, Fales, Leno, POD, Miller (even though he IR’d before the season), Young, Houston, Jones, Mariani, Bellamy, Perry

      of course, I expect some of those 2014 guys to not make this years team. But even if they all make the team, that means that 31 of our 53 players will have been Bears less than 2 years at the start of this season.

  • Irish Sweetness

    MB – thought you’d be all over Su’a Cravens in the second? 6’1 225!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n_-6sPcI6s

    Hope the draft goes

    1. Best pass-rusher
    2. Su’a Cravens
    3/4. Jordan Howard

    Somebody will grab Derrick Henry before 41.

    • MB30SD

      In the 3rd maybe mate. Smallish, not fast (4.61), tweaner, projected for a WILL in a 4-3. Looks like a stud nonetheless… reminds me too much of hardin though… ptsd mate.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Just watched 10 Cloverfield Lane. Good stuff, thanks for the heads-up.That would be a good series.

        So I checked it out to see if they were making a series. Bad Robot produced it, which is JJ Abrams company apparently. Check out their history – everything they’ve done (they co-produce with Paramount) has made mad money. Star Wars: The Force Awakens was co-produced with Lucasfilm, made for 245 million, made over 2 Billion.

        Going to watch the only movie they made that lost money now. Infinitely Polar Bear – Mark Ruffalo plays a bipolar daddy. Zoe Saldana is the shaggable mommy (still haven’t forgiven Abrams for shacking her up with Spock – that was not cool).

        • MB30SD

          Yep yep… wow, that sounds…. depressing. Pass.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Just watched it. Great stuff. The similarities were very close to home, he was crazier, although my missus doesn’t look like Zoe Saldana.

            Mark Ruffalo smokes a LOT in this movie.

            The only movie that Bad Robot lost money on, and it might be their best.

            Seriously, look at their profit margins:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Robot_Productions

          • MB30SD

            the general public are morons. Too deep for them. they want explosions, aliens, and violence.

          • CanadaBear

            And when I bitch about action movies I’m a candy ass!

      • Irish Sweetness

        I was thinking Safety for sure.

        • MB30SD

          I know you were matey. No projects baby…

          Never. Again.

          Especially not in the 2nd!

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Is there any precedence for a player filing suit against scouts or GMs for floating rumors or negative medical information about them in an effort to drop their stock?
    Because if Jack’s knee is fine, and he drops 10 spots, I would imagine he would be plenty pissed (and he would have experienced a direct harm as a result of the rumors).

    • Irish Sweetness

      Hopefully the Bears do their due diligence and he does fall … all the way to 11!

    • That Guy

      I don’t think I’ve heard of such a thing before. But it would need to meet the definition of slander in most states… you’ve got an (i) objectively false statement, that the (ii) sayer knew was false, (iii) said with the intention of defaming/slandering the person; (iv) causing measurable damage.

      Now, you’ve got (i) with a medical issue assuming there are doctors reports clearly stating the knee is fine and no doctors reports saying otherwise. (ii) would be difficult with GMs (unless you subpoena their draft prep paperwork), easier for agents; (iii) would be relatively easy to imply, but hard to prove (though some states would create an exception for this kind of circumstance); (iv) damages would be hard to prove conclusively since the draft is so fluid.

    • willbest

      Simply releasing medical information is a HIPAA violation unless the player signed a waiver granting a team to use it for any reason it wanted. I assume the NFLPA lawyers wouldn’t allow that, but then Unions don’t always have their members best interests in mind, and that is especially true when some of their members interests conflict with other members (aka. Seniority based layoffs).

      A Slander is a tough nut even if these guys didn’t have to argue against being public figures. There is some wiggle room for the quasi famous, but if they can land private figure status they might be able to base a claim around negligent release of false information. As in the reporter/scout should have taken reasonable steps to verify it. Its still a hail marry though.

      I haven’t studied this issue, nor looked at the governing contracts to which could alter all of this. But if it were me, I would first look at the viability of tortious interference with a prospective advantage, because I think that would be the best bet.

      The problem is you would need something more concrete than “I should have been drafted higher”. The player really would need to find evidence of a team saying “We can’t take the risk because of this new information”. Perhaps something like Sunday’s draft board having Jack as their 3rd best player, but Today’s draft board having him as their 23rd best player. With no new information other than information found in a HIPAA violating tweet/article, etc.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Hadn’t thought of the HIPAA angle.
        How would a journalist be protected from revealing the source of this information? Don’t you have to provide some sort of justification of public interest or potential harm to the source?
        That seems like the most straightforward way for an athlete to get some action taken.
        I just think the anonymous leak about someone’s medical history is pretty chickenshit.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          And I get that HHS considers professional athletes exempt from this, but until said player is actually under contract (and maybe even just signed with an agent), I would think they are not beholden to the collective bargaining agreement.

          • willbest

            I am presuming there are formal papers they sign when the declare for the draft that will start dictating terms and conditions.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            How weird is that…there is no guarantee of employment at that time (I should say offer of employment tendered), so it’s basically “sign it, waive these rights and you MAY have a job, but even if you don’t, the waiver still applies”…that is not how it usually works in employment law, I’m guessing.

          • willbest

            Not in the interchangeable cog area of employment no. But this isn’t that area. Special skill labor transactions are different both in terms of the need to divulge privileged information (ie. actors reading for scripts), and the logistics of dealing with only a couple thousand people vs. say a couple million.

            But there are for example, certain considerations the NFL has that differ from say interviewing at an NGO. Like the player might be injured at the combine, or at a team visit, and the NFL might want to say limit where they can be sued to a particular state, or require arbitration first. And of course the interview process is far more involved, and each team might feel its particular process gives it a competitive advantage and doesn’t want it divulged.

            It might not be normal, but from the player standpoint it might give them a better shot than when say Walmart proposes a store in Chicago and gets 10,000 applications for 320 jobs.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I get that, but that concerns the teams interest in knowing medical information, not the general public. Eh, it is what it is. I just find it weird that it’s generally accepted that private medical information gets leaked like this and there are no consequences.

          • willbest

            I mean you are talking DoJ level resources to go find your Scooter Libby, and then you got the difficult task of figuring if and how much it actually cost you. And of course litigation isn’t quick, you would be looking at 3-5 years and a high 6-figure litigation bill.

            Back when I was thirsty for any client and didn’t have a handful that I work for exclusively like I do now, I came across quite a few unfair situations where the recourse would cost more than you could collect, and that is assuming the person even had the money to front the litigation expenses. Hell I have $25,000 of unpaid legal bills I will never collect on. Primarily because suing your clients is a great way to double or triple your malpractice insurance premiums.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Well, if you’re talking the difference between a top 5 rookie contract and a second or third round one, maybe it becomes worth the potential expense.
            Anyway, good talk Russ – interesting info.

        • willbest

          I suppose that would depend on the journalist shield laws in the state. I am not really familiar with those. Haven’t ever contemplated suing a journalist. But then one would presume that perhaps the state the journalist lives might be useful. For example, if the journalist lived near say Tampa, and you were Jack you would start by suing the Bucs or Dolphins seeing as how the Jags wouldn’t need to lower your stock.

      • Captain Obvious

        The prospects sign waivers, as all sorts of people outside of medical personnel are privy to medical information about them, and it would be a HIPAA violation to disclose any of that information to anyone not involved with the diagnosis, treatment, or payment for any medical issues.

        I’m sure the waivers outline what kind of information is allowed to be shared, and what team/league personnel are allowed to share it, but once that waiver is signed, the cat is pretty much out of the bag.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Things that make you go hmmmm: #Colts GM Ryan Grigson & coach Chuck Pagano had dinner with #Illinois DL Jihad Ward last night, source said.— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) April 27, 2016

    Colts fans would storm the castle if he went first round. I think he’s a great pickup in the 2nd round, but mid-first with that offensive line?

    • Shady

      That’s an unfortunate name.

      • willbest

        Maybe he uses it as motivation.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Or an awesome one .. if he’s bringing a holy war against opposing offenses week in week out!

        • Shady

          Remember Blitzkrieg Jones out of North Dakota State in ’45? Was unstoppable until around December and then he completely fell apart.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            that was around the time of Kamikaze Smith. Huge bust, scared everyone at first then kind of went up in a ball of flames.

          • MB30SD

            was he anything like Melee Randal out of norther southern east philly state school for the non-gifted? He was constantly runnin and gunnin in the backfield.

          • Irish Sweetness

            He ran all the way through Poland but stalled in the snow?

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          I foresee that being the worst marketing idea on the planet.
          Personally, the whole idea that his first name could be considered offensive is just stupid. But, don’t poke the bear.

      • Captain Obvious

        It means “struggle” in Arabic. The meaning has grown since the Afghans’ “struggle” against the Soviet invasion.

        It’s not an uncommon name, either. My first tour in Iraq, my unit’s translator was an Iraqi Christian named Jihad. He said his mother named him that because she was in labor for 30 hours before he finally came out. He also joked that his father wanted to name him “Infijar” (explosion) instead.

        • MB30SD

          nice. interesting

        • Irish Sweetness

          All Thai kids get a nickname when they’re born, and are known by this from then on. I knew a female teacher that named her kid “C4”.

    • willbest

      Colts need to draft O-line in 1, 2, and 3. Figure out the defense next year.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Fun fact: Caleb Hanie now shills softshell football helmets and other protective gear for non-contact football.
    http://www.liverocksolid.com/

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    And first the #11 pick in the 2016 NFL Draft, MikeBrownhadaPosse has selected…what you know in your hearts to be true, ladies and gentlemen…the eighth wonder of the world…he put the shananana in safety…the freak of the week…235 lbs of talent…#43 of the Ohio State University….Daaaaaaaarron Lee

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Jihad Ward vs Iowa…I beseech you, check this kid out. They line him up everywhere on the Dline and he makes play after play after play.
    I think he’s for real.
    This series is particularly impressive.
    https://youtu.be/IXVMB0uFgXo?t=242

    • Irish Sweetness

      Great isn’t he? Nose for the ball. You can move him around. 6:43 is a great example of his hustle. I think we’ve lined him up for round 2. He’s been in for a visit. If he’s there in 2, I think the Bears draft him. It seems everyone had Floyd mocked to us in one – maybe Hargreaves if not. 6’5 297, 34 inch arms. I like. And he comes with a built-in nickname – Holy War!

      http://www.nfl.com/draft/2016/profiles/jihad-ward?id=2555248

      1. Hargreaves
      2. Jihad
      3. Howard

      or
      1. Floyd
      2. Jihad
      3. Howard

      or

      1. Hargreaves/Floyd
      2. Henry / Karl Joseph
      3. Su’a Cravens / Howard

  • Shady
    • CanadaBear

      Always fun to read about a problem that will never affect me.

      • willbest

        I don’t know, seems like something that could find its way into the US in a few years.

        • MB30SD

          luckily canada lives in…..

          • CanadaBear

            I’ll probably never be in Thailand, I don’t go out late at night and I really have no inclination to engage sex workers (no matter what sex). Think I’m pretty safe on this one.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            yeah but you got to watch out for all kinds of “bears” in Canada

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Says the Huge Bear’s Penis…

          • CanadaBear

            Bears aren’t as devious. If they want your ass (for any reason), they’re pretty upfront about it!

          • willbest

            sure but he could be in the US at some point.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Where…don’t keep me in suspense, dammit.

          • Sactowns#1

            Half of Wills arguments can be boiled down to “America is going to hell (thanks Obama)” and “wont anyone think of the children!? “

          • MB30SD

            I will! I will think of the chilluns!!!

          • willbest

            I don’t blame Obama. Presidents are symptoms not causes, but they can go an F certain things up quite nicely. Bush Iraq, Obama Syria.

            As for the children, most the ones that aren’t thinking about them aren’t breeding, so it should be self correcting, in theory.

          • Ribeyes for Operators

            Obama didn’t F up Syria. He didn’t start a world war.

            He was burned by Hillary in Libya so he sat this one out. Yes a humanitarian crisis erupted and we sent in some special forces and CIA to assess the ground situation and see if anything could be made of the rebels. But then Russia bombed the fuck out of the rebels and that was that.

            Obama may be somewhat isolationist, which puts him in tune with Pat Buchanon. If anything, I would think GOP types would be happy about how Syria was handled.

          • willbest

            His policy with regard to Syria has been incoherent, that in and of itself creates a mess. And don’t pretend that he wasn’t threatening red line action. Personally, I don’t have any problems with a non-involvement policy, but what we are getting is more of half-assed diddling.

            I am not, as such, a GOP type. At least as it relates to the National Reviews prescribed foreign policy.

          • CanadaBear

            I’ll give ya a hint. I’m almost as far west as possible and still living in Canada.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Oh, I know – I was just being a smartass.

    • MB30SD

      sounds like a job for ’85!!

    • Irish Sweetness

      Dude, that’s where I live! Well, outside of town, but that’s town for me. Seediest place on Earth. A huge number of young ladies, not-so-young-ladies, and ladyboys all trying to support their families … dependent on a bunch of broken old men who have left broken lives back in the west. A sad place.

      Ladyboys are a thieving, violent conniving lot though. There’s a lot of anger and disfunction going on there. Very dangerous characters indeed. Very.

      • Sactowns#1

        I have NEVER understood the whole sex tourism thing. How desperate and lame do you have to be in order to search these places and people out? How craven and blind do you have to be to not see the human suffering?

        • Irish Sweetness

          What I see is a lot of men for whom things either didn’t work out for them back home, or they’ve come to sunnier climes to make what money they have left, pensions etc. go that bit further. They do seem blind to the plight of the girls, and treat it as though the men are the ones who are getting exploited – and a lot of them are exploited. Especially some of the ones who come on holiday and fall for one of the girls, they go back home still keeping in touch, the girl tells him she won’t work in bars if he sends her money … he sends her money … she’s doing this with a number of men .. and so on.

          But the girls rely on it to look after families, often whole generations (most of the girls are from the north eastern Issan province of Thailand. It’s a common misconception that the whole thing is driven by foreigners. It’s not. I’ve lived in rural areas where there are no foreigners except for the English teachers. Every town in Thailand has their equivalent, ‘karaoke’ bars. Girls sit beside you for drinks, sing songs, and are basically up for hire. That’s nationwide. Prostitution is just another job here. It’s a way of making money, like working in 711. Nothing to do with foreigners – it’s just part of their culture.

          • Shady

            So how does a white guy from Ireland avoid getting beaten over the head by a pair of ladyboy stones?

          • Irish Sweetness

            I don’t drink (anymore), but when I did I was always careful to be polite to them.
            Come home from work and that’s it for me, I don’t venture out at all unless I’m bringing the kids swimming or shopping.

            I had one colleague, an older Aussie gentleman, who was approached by one in the street and he may have responded with something unkind, he/she came at him from behind and took his/her stiletto off and whacked him with it, went right through his arm. Ew. Nothing good happens here after the sun goes down, but if you don’t go looking for trouble, it doesn’t come looking for you.

            All my problems stopped when I stopped drinking. Just wish I’d never started.

          • MB30SD

            dude, you’re Irish. It was/is part of your heritage. don’t beat yourself up about it Kevin. Ya cunt! Sinbin for you!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Had I not stopped drinking, I too would be driving around with Gary the goat in my van, alone(save for Gary), using him to get chicks to talk to me.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Chicks dig goats.
            And if not, well, if you’re a Packers fan, there’s still the goat.

          • Ribeyes for Operators

            [hulu id=4183]

          • Sactowns#1

            That sounds pretty rad actually.

          • Sactowns#1

            You could also say all your problems stopped when you stopped leaving the house.

          • CanadaBear

            I always say “the worst things in my life that could have been prevented, all included drinking”. Lots of crazy fun stuff and good times but the downside was awful. If someone is an alcoholic and honest with themselves, it’s a pretty common scenario. This is not directed at anyone, just the way I feel about booze and how it affects me.

          • Sactowns#1

            Trust me, I can totally see it. My ex gf was a great gal, except for the drinking. When people talk about some people having “the bug” I can totally see it now. Her dad (very professionally successful) also had the bug and you could see it going up and down the generations.

          • CanadaBear

            Yeah, the men in my family were all alcoholics.

        • willbest

          Most the people that engage in sex tourism are incels (involuntarily celibate) and are generally suffering from a serious lack of intimacy themselves. Couple that with the economics (1/10th or so the cost in the US) of it and they can overlook a lot.

          In a decade though VR porn will be cheaper than going to Thailand, and 10 years after that sex robot technology should be.

          But those girls are going to have to replace that income some how. Many of those countries don’t exactly have the infrastructure, knowledge, skill, desire, to modernize. That sort of thing can’t happen until those countries can manage to get a handle on base of Maslow’s pyramid.

          But if it makes you feel better its equal opportunity these days

          http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2401788/Sex-tourism-Meet-middle-aged-middle-class-women-Britains-female-sex-tourists.html

          • Irish Sweetness

            First sentence about sums it up. They mistake paid-for intimacy with the real thing sometimes, and that can lead to trouble. In Thailand, sex with young girls appears to be on the base of Maslow’s pyramid for every Thai male too. Maintaining relationships and families is far beyond most of them, and this behaviour results in large swathes of children raised, not even by their mothers (who may resort to some aspect/level of the sex trade), but by their grandmothers. It’s grandmothers who make this country tick. It is not uncommon to see building sites manned by grandmothers, with their grand-children in close proximity.The state of the country is an excellent example of what happens when most kids are not raised by two loving parents.

            In the west, the casting-out of unmarried mothers in past generations is seen as cruel and harsh now, but it was to prevent this kind of social breakdown.

          • willbest

            Yes well, when civilization gets to the top of the pyramid, the people forget what got them there or no longer believe those supports are necessary. Given the level of decadence recorded at the end of every great civilization, the people are always mistaken.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    “basketball ring”…jebus, Ted, don’t pretend to be a normal person and hang the skinsuit up, you weirdo.

    • Cutty of Mt. Olivet Nazarene

      god what a fucking dork.

  • MB30SD

    ooooooh GP. you’re gonna love this: http://uncrate.com/stuff/lego-technic-porsche-911-gt3-rs/

    • Ribeyes for Operators

      If the Lego company crafts specialty plastic parts that are molded, and they don’t really interlock in any way, just one set way – then is it really a lego piece anymore?

      • MB30SD

        yes… because it has the logo and costs fucking $100. Def a lego product

        • Ribeyes for Operators

          they can go suck Danish meatballs.

          • MB30SD

            I don’t know the actual price, I was just guessing. Fucking legos are spensive

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Swedish meatballs are allegedly pretty good. How’d the Danes go so wrong?

          • Ribeyes for Operators
          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Now that is some geopolitical determinism at work right there…

          • Sactowns#1

            What’s wrong with all those Swedish chicks faces?

          • Sactowns#1

            I figured it out… they have no upper lips?! How is that possible? How do they use a straw or inflate a balloon?

          • willbest

            Did anybody else try to inflate an imaginary balloon to figure out what he was talking about?

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            And I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to eat them. Jessss saying.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
    • Sactowns#1

      I can dig it baby! Get Shaq on the edge, get us a big fat load in the middle to spell the Goldenboy and a DB and LB in the later rounds. I’d be a happy boy.

      • MB30SD

        oh well heeerrroooooooo

      • Irish Sweetness

        I’ll be surprised if Pace goes DT in the top 3. We’ve got any number of tackles. Akiem, Eddie, TFW, Ego, Sutton etc. Ragland might be a dark horse, Darron Lee. Have a feeling that Floyd or Hargreaves might be more what they’re after. Pace won’t draft Shaq because of his arms/size. Ogbah’s got those long arms Pace likes, might be a dark horse for 11 too.

        Then there’s the conundrum of Elliott if he’s there …

        • Sactowns#1

          This draft is rich with D-linemen, d-linemen who can make an immediate impact. Why draft a project at another position when you can get immediate production?

        • MB30SD

          I’d be ok with Hargreaves… not a fan of floyd, and I don;t even know why. I haven’t done extensive research… or even any on him.

          • Irish Sweetness

            He’d be awesome-looking dropping back like a sa**ty. 6’6!

          • MB30SD

            smh

          • Irish Sweetness

            We could put him in a Spiderman costume!

            (Admittedly, the fines would be considerable)

          • MB30SD

            that changes errathing! I’m in!

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Ogbah can’t even carry Ward’s jock – he’s fast but he does nothing with it.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Haven’t checked him out, and won’t be! Let’s get this thing going …

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      If he ends up needing surgery on that shoulder, I’ma gonna be piiiiiissed.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse
      • MB30SD

        Wait what!???

        “He was the fastest linebacker at the NFL Scouting Combine last month, running the 40-yard dash in 4.77 seconds”

        Dude, 4.77 is mole-asses. WTF?!?

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          typo (does anybody on the internet proofread anymore) – it was a 4.47…

          • MB30SD

            oh, thank goodness… I was like WTF?!?!

            Um, yeah, 4.47 is fucking sonic for a LB

          • willbest

            You get better click-bait when you don’t

          • Irish Sweetness

            That’s totally devastating to my argument above.

            Okay, if we draft Darron Lee AND Derrick Henry it works.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse
        • Irish Sweetness

          When one considers that Derrick Henry did a 4.54 weighing 247lbs, that technically projects to no lineman or linebacker being able to catch him, and no DB being able to bring him down.

    • Ribeyes for Operators

      All these mocks have us passing over Conklin and Ranklin for Lawson or Floyd.

      Don’t get that.

      • MB30SD

        fuq dat conk first

      • Irish Sweetness

        1. Belief in Leno/Tayo/Weaver.

        2. Belief in Hicks, Goldman, TFW et al. We have a LOT of DTs.

        3. Got to love the potential for Floyd. He’s not a block-shedder, no, but he’s everything else.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Ugh, Floyd is gonna bust so bad. I want them to avoid him like the plague carrying suckfest that he will be.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Funny though, almost everyone is mocking him to us.

            A little piece of me knows that Pace is totally capable of drafting Treadwell.
            Reasoning? He doesn’t want to keep AJ long-term.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Well, it would certainly get him back in town for OTAs in a hurry.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Watched J.Ward vs. Ohio State – should be an indication of his talent that they doubled the holy shit out of him for good chunks of that game
    http://draftbreakdown.com/video/jihad-ward-vs-ohio-state-2015/

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse
    • Sactowns#1

      Smart move. A lot of right leaning women loathe Trump so this will give them at least one reason to vote for Cruz.

      • willbest

        Remember, for women, the opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference.

    • CanadaBear

      My favorite comment. Beauty and the Beast. Ted is the beauty!

    • willbest

      Pretty sure what we saw yesterday was the GOP voters saying they are done. Trump took his NY victory, and continued to outperform the polls in the Acela corridor. If he beats his polling next week in Indiana and racks up most the delegates there, there won’t be anything stopping him from 1237

      • Ribeyes for Operators

        and all the Berners won’t vote for Hillary.

        This election turnout will be abysmal.

        • CanadaBear

          I think a lot of Berners will vote for Shillary because of Trump.

  • Ribeyes for Operators

    Ted Cruz – Mad magazine’s Aflred E. Neuman come to life.

    • CanadaBear

      Grandpa Munster. Ryan is his grandson, Eddie.

  • CanadaBear

    Hey MB, did you see the tech director of British Cycling stepped down today? The woman cyclist that he was slagging got a couple of big name female cyclists to vouch for her story. When will guys figure out you can’t treat ladies the same way you treat men? I don’t really care one way or the other but in this day and age you’d think coaches would have a better handle on this.

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