175 Comments

Buddy Ryan, I Owe Ya

| June 29th, 2016

When Buddy Ryan told his players he was leaving Chicago for Philadelphia, they didn’t take it so well. Years earlier these men had written a desperate letter to George Halas begging for their leader to remain their leader. This was more than a football coach for the likes of Dan Hampton and Steve McMichael. This was a man. This was a father.

Buddy didn’t have steakhouses in town or high profile guest spots on local radio shows. He wasn’t on the cover of cigar magazines or idol worshipped on Saturday Night Live. His life – seemingly all 82 years of it – was about the game he loved. His legacy is left on a Soldier Field whiteboard featuring the numbers “4” and “6” and in the work of two sons genetically enhanced with his voluptuous personality and hunger for hitting quarterbacks.

Pete Prisco Tweeted yesterday, “Ryan’s defenses in Chicago were as nasty as any we’ve seen. They never played scared. Attacked.” And that demeanor, the anger, the ferocity, made Ryan’s defenses the rightful heir to the thrones of Bill George and Dick Butkus. Can anybody really list something Mike Ditka left behind from a strategic perspective? With Buddy, that list requires a second page of the notebook.

Lovie Smith had successful defenses in Chicago too but they never found their way into the city’s blood stream. They had a soft side, bending but not breaking, in the shell of the Tampa 2 (which was affectionately referred to here as the Lovie Deuce). They were successful without ever being intimidating. Individuals emerged as stars (Urlacher, Peanut) but the collective never did.

With Buddy it was all about the defensive machine and the machine had one goal: make the other team scared to play their game. Buddy’s defenses, specifically in 1985, played offense.

And his coaching job that season is the finest performance by any assistant coach in the history of any sport ever played in this country. Your initial reaction to that comment may be that’s it’s hyperbolic. But it’s not. What grants Ryan this status is the autonomy with which he acted. Every other assistant’s performance one could name falls under the umbrella of the head coach. Not Ryan. Ditka rarely addressed the defensive locker room, let alone tell them what to do. The ’85 Bears defense were authored by a single, steady hand: Ryan.

I owe Buddy Ryan. My love of the Chicago Bears is based on his creation. My success with this dopey site and my yearly trips to Chicago with all the fucking joy they entail are direct results of his work. I can never pay that back. Never.

So rest in peace, Buddy. And thank you.

Tagged:

  • SC Dave

    He was one of a kind.

  • burntorangenavyblue

    Well said sir

  • Captain Obvious

    This is not to say anything ill of Buddy Ryan, but without the stellar line-up of players he had from 1983-1986, the 46 wouldn’t have been nearly so impressive. Think about it: Ryan had 3 HOF on his defense, and probably, what, 6 Pro Bowlers at the other positions?

    The fact that Vince Tobin’s defense was statistically better than Ryan’s should tell you something about the personnel being the key.

    Sure, Buddy made opposing QBs quake in their cleats. Except for Marino, whose offense was kryptonite.

    It’s all moot, now. Many of the things that made the 46 so fearsome are flat-out illegal in today’s game.

    I would argue that one thing Buddy Ryan did was make a generation of Chicago fans demand a dominant defense, and not be satisfied with anything less. I mean, holding 3 playoff teams to a total of 10 points? Just winning a playoff game ain’t enough to satisfy Chicago fans. If the other team doesn’t get pantsed, we feel like something’s wrong.

    • Big Mike

      which came first? Great Players or Great Motivation, brilliant scheme? The 46 was based on a philosophy AND the talent that Ryan had. Saying that the 46 wouldn’t be nearly as impressive without good players doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The 46 elevated the players it had and used what they brought to the table.

      I will agree with you that the Bears defense that year has created a real problem for the Chicago Bears Fan base. Never really willing to get behind anything that is not dominant.

      • willbest

        See the Pro-Bowl. The “best” players with no motivation.
        As for the fans, its been 30 years so half the Bears fans that watched the 85 Bears are dead or senile.

        • SC Dave

          Specious comparison. The Pro Bowl is an exhibition by people that don’t play together.

      • SC Dave

        The players came first.

        • Big Mike

          Not true. Buddy was behind drafting a number of those guys and turning them into what he wanted.

        • Big Mike

          See Wilbur Marshall, who was meh with the redskins

          • SC Dave

            Buddy Ryan did not make Wilbur Marshall. Mike Singletary and the dline did

          • Irish Sweetness

            There we have it. In the intervening years I have to hand it to Singletary, it all came through him. The 46 was all about the sight adjustments. the Mike had to call what the Offense were going to do. If he didn’t make the right call, they got steamed. Would have been interesting to see how they would have done if Mike wasn’t there for a game.

          • Big Mike

            You could say the same about the safeties, corners, and to a lesser extent Mike Singletary. Strong D-line starts the engine and creates the possibility for great defense. Singletary would have stood out wherever he went, but let’s say he played behind Trestman’s bullshit d-line. He’d have been frustrated as shit, because he’d practically be double teamed as the dline continued to be manhandled.

      • Captain Obvious

        The 46 WASN’T nearly as impressive when he tried to do it in Philly, with different players.

        Tobin’s non-46 was statistically a better defense, too, with most of Buddy’s players.

        • Big Mike

          I’ll give you some credit for that response, but the bigger impact was that offenses caught up to it, drafted personnel to beat it.

          • Swing Tackle of Destiny

            Drafted players to beat it? no.

            Cap Bozo is right: the D stymied opponents namely because WIlbur Marshall could shut down the seam pass to the TE by himself and any other option was too late because the QB was already dead. Hampton was DEMANDING the double team, and then you had Fridge, with the back forced to double Dent. That left Otis free. Miami figured out how to block Hampton and Fridge straight up, that allowed them the time to let Marino pass.

            WHen Buddy tried it with the Eagles, the counter to the D was figured out: slant passes and quick release passes to the swing backs. In the last two seasons, the Cowboys and the Ravens have brought the 4-6 back, but you don’t run it every down or you will get killed by any QB who can simply step back quickly and release.

          • Big Mike

            Offenses adapted, the spread offense, zone running schemes that penalize over aggressiveness quick passes out of the shotgun. Absolutely. Olines got quicker and then they got quicker and bigger
            Sent from Gmail on my iPhone

          • SC Dave

            Step back quickly and release… sounds like Marino to me

          • Irish Sweetness

            I think it would catch out most offenses today. You need a quick release smart QB to beat that play-in play-out. If smart LBs are looking for the flare/screen/dump, you can kill teams.

          • Big Mike

            Things go in cycles, it might very well beat today’s offense. But you’d have to draft a very specific type of defense to do it. The 3-4 with loads of depth and speed is the way. Without the depth, your guys would get worn down.

        • SC Dave

          The 1988 defense was nearly impossible to run against, iirc

      • Irish Sweetness

        I don’t know Mike, you could have run a plug-n-play conservative 4-3 with that defense and probably have gone 16-0 that season, the players were that good. You wouldn’t actually need to blitz as much. A 4-3 conservative look with a healthy McMahon would pants those Dolphins nine times out of ten.

        • Big Mike

          Nah. Look I get that great teams have great players. But what the Bears did that year required great players to play great together in a great scheme.

          • The Ghost of Super Bowl XX

            you said it. three facts happened at same time, the “perfect storm”.

  • Big Mike

    There has never been a defense as fierce and effective as the 1985 Bears. Giants, Ravens forget about it. Statistically maybe close. But the way the Bears played the game that year, the defense outscored both offenses on some games. Offensive Coordinators had no idea what to do. From the stands, you could almost anticipate the sacks. Seattle’s defense. Not even close. On the road they were average.

    • willbest

      Marino figured it out, then again being one of the top 5 QBs to ever play sort of helps you do that.

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        Fuck Marino!

        • MB30SD

          Will, dude… come on man.

          Fuuuuuck that dumb cunt. We had one bad game that year.

          • CanadaBear

            When that pass was tipped and a Dolphins WR took it to the house, I knew it wasn’t their night. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

          • MB30SD

            yep, any given sunday

          • Bender McLugh

            a bit too much sauce the night before for the D. Marino was good, but that was all about us losing and not him winning

          • SC Dave

            Bullshit. It was about Marino and Shula being smart. And certainly, a bounce pass helped.

            But the Dolphins scored 38 points that night. Thirty Eight.

          • MB30SD

            shut the front door!!! We disagree?!?!?! NO way!

          • SC Dave

            The D also gave up 28 to Tampa in the first half of the opener, but got one back in the second half so that was only a net 21.

            The Vikings got 21 on that crazy MNF McMahon miracle game (that one was almost as crazy as the Urlacher led Cardinals comeback).

            All other games had the other guys less than 20.

            So I give Marino and the all time winningest coach in NFL history some credit for that win. The bastards.

          • MB30SD

            fair enough.

          • Big Mike

            All examples from the first half of the season (other than Miami).

          • Big Mike

            No it wasn’t. If the Bears played that team 10 times, they’d lose once. They didn’t figure shit out.

          • SC Dave

            Everyone wanted the Raiders or Dolphins in the bowl. We got New England. Oh well.

            Miami beat the Bears, and that is the ONLY fact here. All the rest is merely opinion.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Like Ali-Foreman.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I blame Ditka for not being able to control Buddy. The DC is not the HC, if the HC wants less blitzing against a team that can handle it, then the DC has to kow-tow and dial it back and play zone.

          • Bender McLugh

            38 points. too much sauce. not much bullshit there

          • MB30SD

            exactly

      • Irish Sweetness

        One of the top 5 to play in Miami maybe. I never liked Marino. Dumb kid. He had the quick release sure, absolutely. Completed about half his passes that night. He also had great receivers, a good defense, and maybe the greatest coach of all time, and when they played the stubborn Buddy-led Bears, he took advantage of:
        1: The Bears (ahem …Buddy) refusing to let off the blitzing that was being negated by quick throws.
        2: No Jim mcMahon until it was too late.

        I could think up ten QBs off the top of my head better than Marino, and then if you put the gun to my head, at least five more.

    • SC Dave

      The Bears defense scored five TDS in the regular season. Two were against Dallas, in which the Bears scored 44 points, and no more than one per game.

      Given that the fewest total points in a game was 25, there were zero instances where the Bears defense outscored both offenses.

      • Big Mike

        In the Super Bowl, I believe they may have. But I stand corrected.

        • SC Dave

          I pointed it out mainly to show that the myth has far outgrown the reality.

          But the last half of the season, and especially the playoffs, was an awesome display.

          Despite the awesomeness of the defense, I think my favorite part of the season was a long ( iirc around 10 minutes) second half drive by the office that buried the league champ 49ers. THAT was to me the moment that showed the team could win it all… I’ll go look it up.

          • SC Dave

            Okay… time for self correctiom… looks like the Bears dominated that game from start to end. Though they did get 180+ rushing, and seven sacks of Montana.

            But my favorite game of all time was 44-0 over Dallas. Especially as I lived in San Antonio then and was surrounded by Cowboys fans that echoed the bs that the Bears had not played anyone yet.

            To which Otis Wilson replied after the game “well, I guess we still haven’t”, or some such. I was in nirvana.

            I had an article from the local paper on my frig for years… a frowning Danny White in uniform and a cervical collar, with the headline ” Chicago beats Dallas 44-0, Worst Loss in Cowboys History”. The memory makes me smile broadly.

          • CanadaBear

            If I remember correctly most of the Girls had quit by the middle of the 3rd quarter. It still makes me smile.

    • Irish Sweetness

      The Ravens gave up only 2.7 yards on the ground their season. That’s impressive. The Rams ’73, Steelers(’76) and Eagles ’91, ’77 Falcons, ’00 Ravens all gave up fewer yards (Rams, Steelers and Falcons played shorter seasons). Among 16 game seasons the ’00 Ravens allowed 33 fewer points.

      There’s a fairly comprehensive analysis of the best defenses ever here:

      http://www.behindthesteelcurtain.com/2009/3/10/775679/a-statistical-analysis-on

      But for all the numbers and stats, the one that shines above all for me belongs to the Bears.

      You play against the best teams in the playoffs. The very best. That year nobody scored against us on the road to the Super Bowl. The Giants we beat became a great team. We closed down the great Eric Dickerson, a freakish back. And if Wally doesn’t fumble early on in the big one, it’s a distinct possibility that we shut out everybody in the post-season that year. That’s dominance.

      • Big Mike

        The end. By the time the Ravens came along, teams could go entire games hardly running the ball at all. I wonder if there was a big difference in the number of run attempts per game. Could be wrong, but I suspect it was much much higher in 1985. Also, I believe those teams all lost more games than the Bears did.

  • Bears-4-Ever

    The Combination of the Players we had and Ryan’s 4-6 scheme was a formula you can only achieve once in a Millennium. Perhaps, given today’s NFL and how much money needs to be dished out along with the “don’t hit the QB” pussy rules, we probably will NEVER see another Defense like it. I’m glad I lived to see it and cheer it on. I can still vividly remember my Dad and I at my Grandmother’s house watching the Bears and basically on our feet screaming with joy in front of her little Black & White TV. It’s memories like that I will cherish always. Buddy Ryan made those possible. Thanks Buddy and Rest well.

    • Irish Sweetness

      ’46’ … as in Doug Plank’s number.

      • Bears-4-Ever

        Indeed. To bad Plank never got to play on the Defense named after him.

  • Buddy was before my time, but the way people talk about him… man. Rest in peace.

    • Swing Tackle of Destiny

      Wtach the 30 for 30 on the Bears. It’s easy to get

      • MB30SD

        I cried. ;_ (

        • Cormonster

          Me too.

        • CanadaBear

          I knew it was coming and conveniently went to the kitchen for snacks and drinks.

      • Cormonster

        It’s on youtube right now for anyone to watch.

  • CanadaBear

    I loved watching that D bring it. Brought back memories of #51 and that D. Never gonna bad mouth Buddy but he truly had a ton of talent at his disposal.

    • beninnorcal

      That’s what I was thinking as well, Jim Finks deserves alot of credit too. Buddy Ryan was a huge part of it, though. But that defensive roster was a freak show. Probably won’t happen again.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Yup, it didn’t exactly take off in Philly. Or anywhere else after the Bears.

    • SC Dave

      People always seem to forget how good those players were. Perhaps the most talented front seven ever assembled, although Steel Curtain fans might disagree.

      • EnderWiggin

        Canton seems to forget about McMichael every year.

  • Doc Nitty
  • Doc Nitty
    • AlbertInTucson

      Those are all “Post Bears”.

      I like: “Sayin’ the ’46’ was just an 8-man front is like sayin’ Marilyn Monroe was just a woman.”

  • Random question: what QBs would you consider Cutler’s peers?

    I have Stafford, Alex Smith, Eli, Flacco, and Carson Palmer. All have played for a while and have very similar stats.

    Guys like Ryan, Rivers, Ben, Wilson, Romo are a step up, statistically speaking, so I don’t think they are.

    I’m torn on Dalton and Cam, who both had similar stats for the first 4 years of their career but seemed to take leaps forward last year.

    Thoughts?

    • BearDown100393

      Based on last season’s performances: A. Smith, S. Bradford, B. Hoyer, M. Mariota, R. Tannehill,

      • I’m looking more long-term. Need guys who have consistently been at that level for a long time. I thought about Tannehill, but not sure he has enough of a track record yet. Same for Bradford. Those guys could both be going the way of Sanchez.

        Hoyer’s not at that level IMO. He’s been a backup too much and doesn’t have nearly enough of a track record.

    • willbest

      Dalton, Palmer and Smith. Cam, Flaco and Eli are a bit better. Stafford was being propped up by Megatron.

      • That Guy

        People forget that Carson Palmer has put up some really big numbers. He’s had some great receivers to help him, but Palmer with Fitzgerald, Floyd and Brown was a lot more productive than Cutler with Marshall, Jeffery and Marty B. I’d like to think Cutler can have that kind of a season as well, but we haven’t seen him hit that ceiling yet. Same goes for Romo – he and Cutler have many similar performances and similarly undeserved reputations, but Romo has just shown a higher ceiling so far.

        I’d put Cutler on par with Eli Manning and Joe Flacco. Stafford is an anomaly because of Megatron. Smith doesn’t have the same physical skills that Cutler does.

        Eli, Flacco and Cutler are all starting caliber QBs with big arms that cannot single handedly lead an offense on a consistent basis. Put them in charge of a strong supporting cast? You can win games with them against top competition. But don’t build around them the way you would with Aaron Rodgers.

        Flacco is also an anomaly though. He turned in one of the best post-season stat sheets in recent memory the last time the Ravens won the Superbowl. Big yardage, lots of scoring and no interceptions. Even QBs that are clearly better (Ben, Rodgers, Brady) can’t claim a stat sheet like that. Then again, they had a lot more responsibility than Flacco did when they won their own trophies.

        But Eli and Flacco have both won superbowls by turning in solid post-season performances for teams with great defenses. If the Bears can build a great defense under Fox and Fangio, there’s no reason why Cutler can’t hold up his end of the bargain for the team to chase the big one.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Before Beckham showed up Eli was throwing 18 TDs and 27 interceptions. One player saved his job. But overall, he’s in and around Flacco, Cutler and Romo, yeah.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I don’t think Ryan, Rivers, or Romo are a step up from Cutty – they’ve been in better situations is all. Wilson is more mobile. Big Ben, Brady, Vadgers, Brees (in his day) are a notch above. Dalton and Carr are good under fire, that’s a measure of a QB. Palmer has a good offense and defense around him. But after the top three, I think after last season’s improvement you could make a case that he’s as good as the rest, and better than 20 of them. I think he’s better than Eli, Flacco and Smith though. Certainly better than Stafford, who’s lived off Megatron all these years. He’s about the same as Romo, Rivers and Ryan. Newton and Wilson are a different animal with their mobility, and the teams around them – so they’re hard to separate from that. Cutty is Tier II for me. Tier I being Ben, Brady, Rodgers and Brees (declining).

      If we had AJ, Kevin and Brandon, I think we could make a run at the SB.

  • BearDown100393

    Friends don’t owe! They do because they wanna do.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    I think the legacy of Buddy, obviously filtered through the prism of the 85 Bears – really needs to properly account for Philly.

    http://espn.go.com/blog/philadelphia-eagles/post/_/id/17363/buddy-ryan-achieved-legendary-status-with-philadelphia-eagles

  • FQD1911

    this is easily a top 3 piece you have written for DBB.

    • Sharon Sandoval

      <.
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  • You’re about to get Jericho’d

    “Who gets sober Friday leading into the 4th of July?”
    No one.
    Watch Intevention on A&E. Every junkie says the same thing. Manziel needs to die and then I think he’ll be in a place where he can start the recovery process.

    • MB30SD

      that kid is such a fucking idiot. wait, who said that shitweasel would be out of the league in 2 years

      (dose the double fonzie)

    • Swing Tackle of Destiny

      Johnny Football is Nick Cage from Leaving Las Vegas.

      Watch that film. An alcoholic can know he’s in the death spiral and simply refuse to pull out of it.

      That is where the Fridge is. He don’t care no more.

      • You’re about to get Jericho’d

        Did Cage win best actor for that because he pulled a Revenant style performance.
        Sidenote: i love Cage.

        • Irish Sweetness

          He got the oscar, globe and SAG award for that. Having seen his movies since, he probably played himself in the movie … so he nailed it? Generous dude.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny
    • Bender McLugh

      ahh but could he do it again in the swirling winds of Soldier Field?

  • willbest

    Andrew Luck got P A I D. And there was zero offset for the fact that the Colts only had to pay him 16 million this year and 21 million next year. 6-year $140 mil, $75 million over the next 3 years.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    Ho Li Phuck

    I can’t even imagine the Muni Bond manipulation that Goldman helped facilitate to get this monster built:

    How bad does it have to get when Jed Dork (most punchable face ever) is teaming with the Vampire Squid to sell people that that thing was good for people?

    Here what you Grabowski’s will get: A cup of Bud is $11.

    https://thebolditalic.com/a-hater-s-guide-to-levi-s-stadium-the-bold-italic-san-francisco-87d22a0a05ac#.lt0sysgyc

    Fuck all did Santa Clara get hosed. Taxpayers will get fleeced by the Dorks for $200M in Santa Clara. It dwarfs the butt fucking that Teddy Ballgame gave to Richie Daley by a lot.

    http://www.thenewamerican.com/economy/commentary/item/18740-taxpayers-are-on-the-hook-for-new-49ers-stadium-in-santa-clara

    But that’s why the Squid is there, right? take 10 percent in fees to secure that $850M needed to build it, and then take again on the back side helping Santa Clara float those bonds.

    the Squid always wins. And the Squid is so brazen it’s gonna make you a Youtube video in legitimacy conveying black and white so you can know how it’s dick tastes.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    I feel like there is a Youtube video to be made with Trump and Motorhead’s King of Kings song.

  • AlbertInTucson

    $87M guaranteed for Andrew Luck and this 4-Letter writer says he should have gotten MORE because the yearly average is a little short of what was predicted ($25M).SMH.

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/16621472/andrew-luck-indianapolis-colts-87-million-guaranteed-contract-letdown-future-quarterbacks

    • AlbertInTucson

      Sure is easy to spend other people’s money.

      • SC Dave

        Our government excels at it

    • Look at it this way: what would Luck’s demands have to be before IND says “nope, we’re gonna pay you $16M this year (5th year option) and $20M next (franchise tag) and then let you walk.”

      Definitely higher than what they settled for. QBs have all the leverage.

  • AlbertInTucson

    AG, Lorretta Lynch, meets in private with prospective First Husband, Bill Clinton regarding the email investigation against his wife.

    Does this qualify as “Ex Parte” communication in an ongoing investigation?

    At the very least, it looks inappropriate.

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/29/politics/bill-clinton-loretta-lynch/index.html?sr=fbpol063016bill-clinton-loretta-lynch0159AMStoryLink&linkId=26064759

    • That Guy

      Ex Parte communications refer to when someone speaks to the Judge. The AG isn’t an impartial judge, they’re the opponent. The AG makes a decision about whether they feel they can successfully pursue a case. They have an ethical duty to back off if they believe the defendant is innocent, but its not their job to be impartial.

      Put another way. You complain about one side talking to the Judge “ex parte” without the other one there. Who is it that you would have wanted present when Lynch met with Clinton privately?

      • AlbertInTucson

        Still looks and smells bad.

      • willbest

        Lynch should not be talking to the Clintons under any circumstances. Hillary has a lawyer so there is no talking to her and Bill probably does too, but even if he didn’t spousal privilege means he isn’t testifying anyway.

    • Irish Sweetness

      They’re figuring out how much Billy Boy has to stump up to smooth this over. ‘Politics’.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Rumor now is Justice will move to have the proceedings delayed for 22 months.

  • Cormonster

    “Everyone is creative, but we are only as creative as we allow ourselves to be.”

    Martellus Bennett, Forbes quote of the day

    • You’re about to get Jericho’d

      If you ain’t first yer last
      -Ricky Bobby

  • Sharon Sandoval

    <.
    ★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹:★✹::::::!bg696mm:….,…

  • AlbertInTucson

    And now, a word from our sponsor…



    THE defense famed for sacks and picks..



    …that left QBs flattened and cryin’.



    HE gave the Bears “The 46″…..



    …the one and only, Buddy Ryan.



    Burma-Shave

    • Jessie Spain

      <.
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    • Concepcion Wilson

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    • susanjknowles

      <<u.
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    • Brenda Taylor

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  • AlbertInTucson

    The ’84 Bears STILL hold the single season record for sacks with 72.

  • beninnorcal

    One of my favorite Buddy Ryan quotes was what he would say after they would put an opposing qb out of the game-
    ‘Looks like it’s time to open a can of quarterback’

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    Gilmour adds One of These Days to his show:

    http://ultimateclassicrock.com/david-gilmour-one-of-these-days/

    • CanadaBear

      That was fun!

    • Cormonster

      Floyd played that song at Camp Randall back in 94. Still one of the top 5 concerts I’ve seen all time. It was pouring rain during Comfortably Numb, and as Gilmour’s guitar solo got more intense, the rain came down harder. It was a surreal moment that nobody at that show can forget.

    • Doc Nitty

      Nice! One of my all time faves.

    • Doc Nitty

      Whenever I watch something like that I think, how cool would it be to be the session musician asked to tour with a legend? I mean, what a dream.

      • CanadaBear

        Better pay (probably still not great), better accommodations, easier travel, play with a legend, yeah, that would be OK.

  • CanadaBear

    Had to laugh when I read the Fat Lesbian said the Loins O would be more dynamic now that it isn’t so dependent on getting Megatron the ball. Uh-huh. I’m sure they will improve by having a HOF WR retire. I get that he was no longer Megatron but he was still better than most of the WR’s in the league and certainly better than any other WR on that roster.

    • Sactowns#1

      I kinda agree with him. I think it will force Stafford to develop for sure.

      • Johnnywad

        Yeah. Probably just needed to get rid of the best receiver to play the last decade in order to stop being really mediocre and losing a bunch. I’m sure that’s the magic bullet.

      • CanadaBear

        I agree with that but not the O would be more dynamic. Golden Tate and Marvin Jones scares nobody. TE’s are Ebron and Pettigrew. RB’s are Abdullah and Riddick. Of all of them Riddick scares me the most.

  • Swing Tackle of Destiny

    Hacked up body parts washed up onto the beach where the Olympic Volleyball venue is.

    Welcome to Brazil! Let the games begin!

    (Don’t pickup some guys arm and use it to try and spike over the net, that’s cheating!)

  • Doc Nitty

    I am happy to announce that while the final terms of my divorce are not official, I have gotten Jezebel to agree to the following terms.

    1. No Alimony.
    2. No Child Support.
    3. She moves out of the house by 9/1
    4. 50/50 Custody.

    It costed me a few thousand for a lawyer, but she would have never agreed to those terms had I not done so. So it was money well spent.

    Someday I’ll tell you all the details of how it went down in court. it was like something off of a Seinfeld episode. Oh what the hell, I’ll tell you now.

    So I had never spoken to my attorney before Monday. All correspondence had been through emails except the two occasions I talked to his wife (husband and wife firm). So when I showed up to court on Monday, I had never met him personally. To my utter dismay, my lawyer, they guy who I paid good money to argue on my behalf, had a very severe stuttering problem. Like, he couldn’t get out a full sentence. I was horrified. Thankfully, she agreed to settle. But goddamn. Can you imagine? The guy you payed to argue on your behalf is incapable of arguing at all? What in THEE fuck!?. I guess he realized he couldn’t be an auctioneer so he would be a professional debater. Jesus H.

    Oh well, All’s well that ends well.

    • Scharfinator

      He clearly got it done – so why worry about his stutter?

      Regardless, congrats on the terms you were looking for!

      • MB30SD

        still funny/sad

        • willbest

          Only 2% of attorney’s need to be convincing in speech. Maybe it was his thing to garner sympathy with the judge.

          • MB30SD

            Ouch. I was in SCC monday, kind of a fun experience even though we lost. Judge was a stickler and didn’t get past the contract terms… but interesting

          • Doc Nitty

            small claims court?

            What for?

          • MB30SD

            asshole developer who did 10 hours of work (code) in 45 days. Fat cunt.

    • willbest

      An unemployed woman agreed to no alimony and no child support and no primary residence while shouldering half the cost of the children and the judge signed off on that?

      • Swing Tackle of Destiny

        I guess he told his attorney…

        “You’re gr-gr-gr-gagr-gr-gr-greeeaaat!”

        (Too soon?)

        • MB30SD

          Hahahahaha

        • BearDown100393

          You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy.

      • Doc Nitty

        The judge is not likely to sign off on that. But hey, it’s a start.

        And she’s not unemployed. She just probably should be.

        • CanadaBear

          Sounds like she’s pretty sick of the situation too. That’s a good thing for you! Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it Brother-Man!

      • Irish Sweetness

        Her fault.

    • CanadaBear

      That sounds awesome! Does Jezebel have a bailout plan?

    • MB30SD

      Boom!!!

    • Swing Tackle of Destiny

      Fuck me. I want Stuttering Bob the Lawyer now.

      • beninnorcal

        Jimmy Clausen is Dic’s lawyer?

    • beninnorcal

      Congrats, Doc, well done!

    • Irish Sweetness

      That’s hitting a triple and returning a missed field goal for a TD …. to mix metaphors.
      Well done, son!

      A stuttering lawyer? Poor bastard. But auctioneering though. MWAH!

      “Do I hear fif- ….fif- ….FIF- …..
      “Fifteen?”
      “Fif- ……fiffff- ……fif….”
      “Fifty?”
      “Do I hear fif- ….fif- ….ffifff- …..”
      “I don’t hear anything, dude …”
      “Ffffffff ….fuck.”

  • MB30SD
  • willbest

    I thought Brexit was supposed to cause England to sink into the ocean a la Atlantis. Been pretty ho hum since.

    • Swing Tackle of Destiny

      With Brexit and the 4th weekend coming up, I saw this t-shirt in the store yesterday:

      When all’s said & done there’s really only two types of countries:
      1. Those that use the metric system
      2. Those that have been to the moon

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        Russia had several unmanned missions that landed on the moon, one that even returned soil samples. Since then India and China have both had “controlled” crashes on the moon. All using the metric system. So if you define “have been” as landing a man then it is correct. But then it can be said the U.S. has not been to Mars or any other planets.

        • AlbertInTucson

          Let me know when they put some footprints up there,

        • Irish Sweetness

          Man the Russians did everything first. First into space. First spacewalk. First to the moon and back .. everything bar the men.

          Viking I and II were NASA though. 1976.

          • AlbertInTucson

            First to get people in their space programs killed, too.

    • MB30SD

      Omg, and the stock market totally crashed, for 2 days yo allows the riches to buy more

      • SC Dave

        For every buyer there is a seller

      • Swing Tackle of Destiny

        • You’re about to get Jericho’d

          Haha, you love that buy the dip video.
          “You stupid bitch, buy the fucking dip”.

          • Swing Tackle of Destiny

            MOAR QE!

        • Are that guy betting against in everyone ay the craps table?
          If u are make sure to hit me up before the next 911
          Pappa needs a brand new bag

        • MB30SD

          H. M. M. M.

          Hahahaha!

          Buy the fucking dip

    • Irish Sweetness

      It hasn’t happened yet, they’ve got two years to do the reverse move.

  • CanadaBear

    Any bets Johnny Football back slides tomorrow? When people used to find out I had quit drinking I would routinely hear, “I’m going to stop drinking after New Year’s, my B-Day, etc.” If you’re quitting, quit. Otherwise, you’re just talking about it. Nothing against anyone that drinks. Most people it’s not an issue.

    • Irish Sweetness

      8 years sober in September and I’ve never felt like a drink since I stopped. But I dream about smoking weed. Quit smoking ciggies and joints before Christmas. I miss weed.

      Wish I could go back in time and not have been a drinker. What a waste.

      • Cormonster

        A little over a year and a half for me and have no desire to drink again. It never even crosses my mind. I still like going to the bars though for live music and hanging out with friends. Still smoking cigs.

        • CanadaBear

          And hanging out with a gaggle of women. I’ve seen the pics!

      • AlbertInTucson

        Never had a joint. Seriously. Asthma attacks as a kid will make you more than a LITTLE leery of sucking anything but air into your body.

        Haven’t been drunk since my bachelor party and I don’t EVER want to feel THAT bad again. That was one LONG day after.

        I’ll have a couple while watching Da Bears. A little Red wine with pasta, too.

      • CanadaBear

        22+ years for me. But I still smoke weed. I don’t want a do over as much as I regret being such drunk fucker. I never could drink a lot and it didn’t take that much to get me into a blackout. I was never a fighter and for the most part I must have been fun because people were always calling me to go out. Best thing I could ever have done for myself was give it up.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Color me “Shocked”. Much to my surprise, the Whte Sox have sneaked back over the .500 mark. Where would they be without the Twinkies against whom they are, I believe, 8-1?

  • AlbertInTucson
    • MB30SD

      Me.

      Sausage party. Hahahahahahaha

      • AlbertInTucson

        Just shows to go ya. Theaters DO run the wrong trailers. Comes from having one projectionist run 8 projectors at the multiplex.

      • CanadaBear

        How insanely funny would it have been to have a hidden camera in that theater? Reminds me of all those dopes that took their kids to see Bad Santa.

        • MB30SD

  • Cormonster

    Hey Irish, new LSD video that came out today. The second song Mistakes is probably my favorite song off the new album.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Nice one bro! Yeah, Mistakes is a belter ….

  • Well u crazy bastads im quite drunk flying on the winds of trade. Not really. Really I’m just basking in the glory of defeating u all. In ff.

    #suxkIt
    #46d

    • CanadaBear

      I had no idea Phil Emery was a drinker and a braggart!

  • CanadaBear

    I hope this info is correct. it’s from the guys that JW used to work with on another blog. I’d watch these three games for sure!!!!!!!!!

    The NFL will upload three full Chicago Bears games on to You Tube in the near future. Those games are:

    Super Bowl XX – Bears vs. Patriots (39% of the vote) Bears win their 9th championship and first Super Bowl.

    2006 Week #6 – Bears vs. Cardinals (28%) Bears’ comeback to win Monday Night Football thanks to great individual performances by Brian Urlacher and Devin Hester.

    1985 Week #11 – Bears vs. Cowboys (16%) My all time favorite Bears game… Bears destroy Dallas 44-0 and prove to the football world that they are the new sheriffs in town.

  • Concepcion Wilson

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