• Our offense is a 12 win team, and our D is a 4 win team. So, 16-0, right!?

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
    • Shady

      I’m good.

      • MB30SD

        then get online biatch

        • Irish Sweetness

          Have you guys checked out Titanfall yet ?

          • MB30SD

            no

    • chaffing.

  • MB30SD

    hey you fucking useless asshoile government, why don’t you entire group of useless fucks do something that means a shit. jesus fucking christ. are you even serious?!?!

    http://tracking.si.com/2014/05/22/washington-redskins-senators-urge-name-change/

    • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

      Jerrrrrricho.

    • Trac

      I think the Redskins have the coolest helmet in the League, then Bears, then the Steelers.

      • Shady

        Barb?

        • Trac

          Always thought they were the coolest.

          • MB30SD

            wow. trac. come on dude.

            You like school on saturday….

        • MB30SD

          Hey, did you see the snoop dog narration pack? Hahahahaha… I’m thinking of throwing down the $2.99 just to see what it’s like. But guarantee I’d want to strangle the tv after 5 minutes

          • Shady

            For Ghosts? You gotta be yankin’ mah chainz.

          • MB30SD

            check it out when you log in.

      • The Brown’s helmet might be so ugly it’s beautiful.

        • MB30SD

          stop it.

          http://coconutz-costarica.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/footballhelmets.gif

          Here’s my top 5:

          1. Beeeaaarrrsssssssssssssssssssssssss
          2. Seahawks
          3. Ravens
          4. Eagles
          5. Bucs (yuck!)

          the problem is it’s hard for me to focus JUST on helmet logo alone… cause it doesn’t work that way. it’s the colors, the entire uni, and even the team (i.e., do I like them). These all influence my like/dislike. Anyway.

          • MB30SD

            maybe this helps: http://cdn9.staztic.com/app/a/3322/3322907/nfl-helmets-gallery-2-5-s-307×512.jpg

            if you go with just the buttons, I kinda actually like the…. chargers?!

          • Seahawks!? U cray-cray.

            The Raaaidahss! #2.
            Steelers are cool too.
            Last place. Greenbay, of course.
            I liked the old Bucs helmet when they wore Popsicle jerseys.

          • MB30SD

            yeah, they’re one of the only teams that has a badass looking animal well integrated into the helmet, and not some circle sitting there.

            Yeah, but they are the worst… teams, fans, management, etc… yuck.

            Steelers… meh.

            Yeah, the popsicles were cool. As are many of the throwbacks, but then it gets messy.

          • Shady

            Yeah, nothing says badass like a damn gonzo muppet-ass looking sea chicken. They are probably the worst looking helmets in the league. smh dood

          • MB30SD

            art is very personal shady.

            I don’t make fun of you for your choice in dogs. or men for that matter.

          • Hook him up with Mo, MB! bwahaha

          • MB30SD

            Hahahahaha… one story I forgot to tell.

            Mo dislocated two of his fingers in a game, popped them back in and kept playing. He was a quiet dude, but kind of a bad ass.

          • Irish Sweetness

            But the Steelers logo is only on one side. Very Zen.

          • Irish Sweetness

            The Raiders helmet is classic. G is for Gay. NTTAWWT.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Top three helmet. Classic. Orange. That’s it.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Seahawks on the helmet and I like our uni best in the league. Hate the throwbacks.

  • I was reading a book on the history of paradoxes. Pretty fascinating material.
    “Can God create a boulder even he can’t lift?”
    hmmmmm….
    There’s a lot of interesting anecdotes that go along with paradoxes. A student once asked Augustine, “What did God do before he created the universe?” to which Augustine replied, “He was busy preparing hell for people who ask such questions.”
    One of my fav paradoxes is “This statement is a lie”. I think Wittenstein tried tackling that.
    Sound of one hand clapping?

    http://youtu.be/L1tsCOkCoC8

    • Shady

      I was going to post it if you didn’t.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I used to use that boulder one all the time back when I wasted my time talking about religion. Conversation stopper though.

    • Peanut FTW

      The boulder one doesn’t seem like a very good paradox, not even sure it qualifies as a paradox. I don’t see what being able to lift something has to do with creation? To me a paradox would need to be more self contained, as in over time if you replace every part on a car with a new part, is it the same car?

      • Irish Sweetness

        Time look up a dictionary. It’s a perfect Paradox. Can God create a boulder so large that even he cannot move it. If he can, there is a limit to his power. If he can’t, there’s a limit to his power.

    • Doc Nitty

      Ever heard of Gabriels Horn? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel's_Horn

      A horn with infinite surface area but finite volume?

      • MB30SD

        I have one of those for Halloween this year

      • Irish Sweetness

        Got to say that that is impossible, by definition.

  • Shady

    Nice work Jeff! You should do more of these, even if you’re monologuing like the Rev.

    • Next time we should create a pool and bet on how long it takes Jeff to talk about the new punter.

      • Shady

        I’m still not thrilled about drafting a punter. Sure he’s yolked and he’s got a huge leg, but there’s so much more to punting than power and distance… Especially on the Chicago lakefront. We’ll see.

        • NewBearInTown

          Wait… so you don’t want to draft a punter because punting is hard? If you trust Emery’s judgment that this guy was the best on the market, why not draft him then?

          • Shady

            I know it sounds crazy. Almost as crazy as drafting a QB and Punter in the 6th round.

        • burntorangenavyblue

          The talent pool of the punters that low in the draft is still very high (usually is most of the time every year anyways). I’d rather take that then taking the crappiest of the crappiest players left on the board in any other position, considering after the season Podlesh gave us.

          • Like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, if you choose wisely, it really doesn’t matter when you choose.

        • bearsfantillend

          i dont have a problem drafting a punter in the later rounds. Half the Punters in the league were drafted. Hell a couple were drafted in the 3rd round. Punters are not a dime a dozen. Every year teams bring in atleast 1 extra punter into camp for competition or just an extra leg, yet we still ended up with Podlesh, the talent is just not always there and you have to draft.

  • Daaaamn. ‘Zona jericho?

    “In Peterson’s mind, Sherman isn’t a shutdown corner.

    “[Y]ou put [Sherman] in our system, I don’t believe he would last,” Peterson told Arizona Sports 98.7 FM. “Obviously, his job is much easier than mine.”

    How so?

    “If you look at their scheme and you look at our scheme, he’s a
    Cover-3 corner, period,” Peterson said. “A lot of guys say he’s a
    shutdown corner, but if you look at film and guys who understand the
    game, go back and look at film and see how his defense is.

    “I believe if you put him in our system, I don’t think he’d be able
    to last, honestly, because I’m asked to do much more than he is.”

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/05/22/patrick-peterson-takes-aim-at-richard-sherman/

    • Bender McLugh

      I tend to agree, Sherman has so many others around him. I never did see him take a receiver out of the game by his lonesome, only with others and scheme. But I may have been drunk.

    • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

      If you look at the basic diagram of C-3 vs. C-2, that’s quite an insult.

      He’s saying Sherman only can do what he does since he can push guys off onto a safety with an extra man back there, so his whole job is just to shut the sideline routes down. Basically: he can’t play man.

      If the Cardinals could rush the damn passer better, maybe they could play more nickel and dime high, but they can’t and the Seahawks can get pressure with 3 guys on the line – so they can. Sucks to be a Card.

      Seahawks down 3 are so effective, they can run C-6, which they deployed in the Super Bowl to great effect.

      http://www.itsalloverfatman.com/images/plays/Cover_6.jpg

      • SC Dave

        It always starts on the line of scrimmage.

        • MB30SD

          yes, but it can’t be all you have. That’s doesn’t work either.

  • MB30SD

    Can one of you please explain to me why Kevin hart is funny. I just listened to 30 minutes of his stand up show… I literally didn’t even smile once. Not once… never mind laugh.

    I don’t get it. He’s not at ALL funny.

    • Trac

      If I could explain the jokes to you, would that help?

      • MB30SD

        doubt it.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I get that with most comics and most comedy, mang. Genius is rare.

    • NewBearInTown

      Steve Harvey told Marc Thompson as follows “There are two kinds of comics: Some comics say funny things, some comics say things funny, I do both.”

      I think Kevin Hart, like a lot of modern comics, is more about “saying things funny” than saying funny things. A thousand comics making the same old jokes can all get laughs by saying them in their own funny way. But if you’re someone who needs more content – you just don’t laugh.

      • MB30SD

        Good analysis NB.

        I really like these guys:

        * Pablo Fransisco: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgrMi7KgNW8

        * Bill Burr: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdpcvyyKXCE

        * Ralphie May: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9mytOPDeeE

        All dude’s who are funny and who also say funny things.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I find Burr and Louis CK funny. White, Irish-lookin’ guys in their 40s. I don’t seem to fall very far from the ethnic sluice pipe. Chris Rock is masterful though, he’s not as racist as the other black comedians. I’m down for stand-ups saying whatever they want to – they’re the only people that can – I just wish they’d use that license against the power elite and not lazy racist stuff on white folk being nerds that talk funny.

  • Random Butch thought of the day…how many civil wars did Egypt an Rome fight? hmmmm…China? How old are we again?

    • Irish Sweetness

      Rome is a good comparison for the USA. The mighty Roman Empire fell because of its standing armies. There are U.S. installations in at least 135 countries. That’s more than a lunch bill.

  • For your consideration….

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/05/23/kyle-orton-leaning-toward-retirement-but-cowboys-want-him-to-play/

    I don’t see Orton walking away from this cash cow in his early 30’s.

    Kyle: I want to retire.
    Kyle’s financial planner: with all due respect Mr. Orton, I just don’t envision you leaving the NFL and then becoming the CEO of Groupon, the States Attorney of the country or the vice president of institutional trading at Pimco. You should probably stick it out for a couple more years since they are paying you the equivialent of NO JOB YOU WOULD EVER HAVE IN THE REAL WORLD.

  • Irish Sweetness

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000352984/article/denver-police-issue-arrest-warrant-for-tj-ward

    Maybe Phil did his due diligence on Ward and saw this in his future.

    • I think it’s more just that he prioritized pass rush over S. And then CB over S in the draft. Obviously believes you can get by with meh safeties if the rest of your D is strong. To be fair, Bears proved this pretty well in 2012.

      • NewBearInTown

        I doubt Emery is clairvoyant. But we do seem to favor the high character guys in FA.

        As to prioritizing safety, I think Emery wants to get better at safety. But he wanted to build the D-line first. We’ll be looking for another DB in the first round next year I suspect – hopefully the safety class will be deeper.

        • MB30SD

          agree. and he pretty much said he’ll be looking for a good value FS pick up from the cuts/waivers in the run up to the start of the season.

          • Conte is starting.

          • MB30SD

            in the lingerie league? Maybe.

            Stop this.

        • As of right now, I could see DE, LB, CB, or S in rd 1 next year.

          • NewBearInTown

            Truth is, as if right now I could see anything position other than kicker in the first round next year. Who knows what this team will look like after the season.

            But yeah, I think there will be another year looking to bolster the defense pretty much all over the field. Hopefully nothing will be glaring and we’ll have flexibility to be open to offensive playmakers as well.

          • well, we know what the offense will look like next year. They have all their starters returning except Garza, and good odds de la Puente gets signed to take that spot. Also have possible top backups coming back at QB (Fales), RB (Carey), WR (Wilson), and OL (Groh/Leno?).

          • MB30SD

            BOOM!

          • Irish Sweetness

            DE and Safety. Then maybe DE again

            We’ve got to believe with the 10 LBs we have that there are 2-3 good ones there. Vet QBs the whole way. I don’t get the adoption and then babysitting of QBs.

    • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

      “The incident involving T.J. Ward occurred on the evening of May 9 at a nightclub in southeast Denver called Centerfold,”

      That is a seedy ass skank hole. Or… so I’ve heard.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Classic.

    Tupac Shakur’s Last Words Revealed By Police Officer Who Found Him After 1996 Shooting

    More details revealed from the fateful nightBy Dashiell Asher | omg – 6 hours ago

    His death is still shrouded in mystery 18 years on.
    But now Chris Carroll, the police officer who found Tupac Shakur after his shooting in 1996, has revealed his last words.

    Carroll retold how he had pulled Tupac from the passenger seat of the car after he was shot several times in a drive-by.

    Tupac wouldn’t answer the officer’s attempts at asking who had shot him.

    He said: “He went from fighting to ‘I can’t do it.’

    “And when he made that transition, he looked at me, and he’s looking right in my eyes.
    Tupac wouldn’t say who had shot him. Copyright [Rex]
    “And that’s when I looked at him and said one more time, ‘Who shot you?’

    “He looked at me and he took a breath to get the words out, and he opened his mouth, and I thought I was actually going to get some cooperation. And then the words came out: ‘F*** you.’”

    • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

      The machine guns are exchanging a steady fire now, like old friends having a conversation. Thumps and thuds puncture the rhythm of the bullets.
      The snipers zero in on us. Each shot becomes a word spoken by death. Death is talking to us. Death wants to tell us a funny secret. We may not like death but death likes us. Victor Charlie is hard but he never lies. Guns tell the truth. Guns never say, “I’m only kidding.” War is ugly because the truth can be ugly and war is very sincere.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Colonel Kurtz on acid ?

        • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

          Gustav Hasford, something of the real life Benjamin Willard.

    • MB30SD

      classic. the chick I’m seeing right now has an OBSESSION with tupac – showed up last night in a tupac shirt (smh). kinda strange but whatever, she’s an 8 so…. He seemed like an interesting dude.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Nubian queen????

        • MB30SD

          No, that’s the funny part. 5’8″ 28 yr old blond from boston. DD fake rack of course (ask $).

    • CanadaBear

      Love it!

    • http://youtu.be/JYtlvzQ7GV8

      And THAT should end the whole Biggie-v-Tupac debate.
      Biggie’s fat ass last words would be, “Double Whopper with Cheese…and an…extra…order…of…nuggets”

  • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

    The league commissioner has to prepare a written charge against Sterling explaining what rules of the NBA constitution that Sterling allegedly broke. Haagen said the league will likely cite Article 13A, which is that Sterling violated a resolution of a bylaw such as making statements undermining faith in the league.

    But Sterling will be owed a hearing, with representation by lawyers, in which he can argue the charges.

    Following the hearing, the owners will take a vote and a three-fourths majority will be needed to seize ownership.

    “All of those reasons, plus the fact there’s a lot of money at stake, and that’s why it may take a little while,” he said.

    Additionally, Sterling’s wife, Rochelle “Shelly” Sterling, has said she will fight to retain ownership of the team. ESPN reports that the NBA believes it has the legal grounds to force both Sterlings to sell.

    I’m not so sure about that. Even if they get the 3/4th votes, that could be appealed under a number of laws, and there may an forced exit clause that allows him only to sell at a price of his choosing. Too bad Crown isn’t around, he’s a lawyer. It has nothing to do with net worth of the team, it’s a matter of the constitution of the NBA passing legal tests.

    • tobijohn

      Isn’t NBIT an attorney?

      • MB30SD

        yes

      • Doc Nitty

        and a damn good chess player.

        • Doc Nitty

          As is Cor.

          • Doc Nitty

            me, not so much. 🙁

          • MB30SD

            loves you maings

  • MB30SD

    Can’t decide if this is hot or disturbing… or a little of both: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJrMWn2TGRQ

    • tobijohn

      The truth is, I’m a little intimidated by those girls…

      • MB30SD

        beatmode chicks need love too TJ. THey fuck just like other chicks, just a little rougher.

        • tobijohn

          Sounds like the voice of experience. Got me thinking about my roughest ride…

          • Shady

            Yada yada yada, you haven’t been able to cross your legs since.

          • tobijohn

            Granted, it was quite awhile ago but I’m pretty sure she was from Glenview…

          • MB30SD

            Just have to be VERY careful with the rough riders that they don’t snap your junk in half.

            NOT fun I’ve heard

          • Irish Sweetness

            It’s the ones that say “Choke me!” that put me off my stroke.

          • MB30SD

            yeah, chick I’m seeing likes that. I’m not built that way. I’m all about good angles, stamina, and sensuality, not choking a bitach out. Not my style… ask erik (hee hee).

            Kinda don’t get it.

    • She’s prob buffer than Shea.

      • MB30SD

        probably?

        She’d probably knock him on his ass.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Anybody with the intent, could knock Shea on his ass.

          • MB30SD

            naw, he’s a big human and an athlete, just a shitty NFL-level football player. Sad.

    • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

      Very poor cock management…. clock… clock management

    • Irish Sweetness

      Sad.

  • MB30SD
    • MB30SD

      btw starting at 6:30… wow, how horrible would that be. It becomes a video game, not a sport.

      No thanks.

      • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

        Worst Virtual Reality….. evar

      • Trac

        What if you could sacrifice your left kidney or forfeit one month of your lifetime time credits to upload and mind meld with any FS of your choosing on any given Sunday?

        • MB30SD

          one month of my life time for phil to pick up a byrd-level FS this offseason that becomes the next Mike Brown for us (without the injuries) for the next 9 years. Done. Right now.

          (I don’t want to live too much past 80-85 anyway)

  • MB30SD
    • Irish Sweetness

      Tony Yeboah! Legend.

  • MB30SD

    Watch this. Interesting: http://www.ted.com/playlists/158/graduation_now_what

    When I think about what makes a good entrepreneur, grit is at the top of the list.

    • MB30SD

      Oh, and watch the following presentation… he’s a brilliant speaker. very funny.

      • MB30SD

        and just realized you were 100% right NB. I like smart humor. A dude making funny faces/voices saying stupid shit has zero appeal to me. Thank you sir… next time I’m in chicago dinner is on me (not just because of this insight, but because I like you my maings)

        • translation: thank you for calling me smart. I wholeheartedly agree, and your astute observation deserves a reward. Cheerio.

          • MB30SD

            Hahahahahaha… that made me laugh.

            (But yeah, basically)

    • Trac

      Working Capitol helps too.

      The top two reasons most entrepreneurs fail is lack of capitol and discouragement.

      • MB30SD

        grit.

        • Trac

          The tax man cares not about grit, see Rodney Daingerfield in back to schools economics 101.

          • MB30SD

            takes grit to constantly raise/acquire capital.

            No?

          • Trac

            Absolutely. Technically you score the victory. Lol

          • MB30SD

            Eeeeeeexcellent.

            Hahahaha… I think we’re obviously both right.

      • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

        Capitol is Washington DC.
        Money invested in a business is capital.

        • Trac

          Damn spellcheck. He he.

  • bearsfantillend

    from the press conference with Ray Rice and his wife
    Rice: “Sometimes in life, you will get knocked down.”

    Rice’s wife : “In my case, sometimes in life, Ray will knock you out.”

  • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

    Heck, I’m not even sure Shae would survive this hit…

    • MB30SD

      Was that conte in a bra??!

  • Cormonster

    MB, care to comment on this?

    http://reason.com/blog/2014/05/23/why-our-political-systems-screwed-in-one

    We here politicians spew all kinds of crap about being the freest and most democratic country on the planet, when reality paints an entirely different picture. The game is rigged by the republocrats and we are “spoonfed” our choices. Vote 3rd party or don’t vote at all at the federal level.

    • Trac

      There is a way that seems right to man but in the end, I doubt very seriously anyone has cried out to thier favorite president or politician as they draw thier last breath on thier death bed.

    • AlbertInTucson

      One party is as bad as the other.

      Worse, there are no statesmen.

      Just self-serving politicians looking out for #1.

      Look at Detroit and be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

    • MB30SD

      System is broken. Common sense needs to be used to rebuilt it from scratch.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Revolution. That’s the shit I’m talkin’ about ! Rigged game, bro.

        • Trac

          What, for more freebee’s? No mate, these people don’t want more freedom, they want more freebies.They love the king.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I’m talkin’ America mang, that’s where the revolution has to go down.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Blogfather Tweet: “ESPN just pulled out of live Jürgen Klinsmann presser to bring in own analysts. Brutal news judgment.”

    “Brutal news judgement”. So, what ELSE is new?

  • AlbertInTucson

    And if anybody thought the 4-letter was biased in favor of the SEC, they must be absolutely THRILLED that they are now partners in the SEC Network.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Wow. Prices up already for week one.

    http://www.totesport.com/portal?action=GoClass&ev_class_id=19&Sports-Betting-American-Football

    Bears -6 v BUF is 10/11.

    • they were up about 30 minutes after the schedule was released, which was before the NFL draft even. SMH

  • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

    LFL’s Hester moment

    http://www.manager.co.th/asp-bin/Image.aspx?ID=2296622

    This gal is the Beast Mode of the LFL:

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1016820.1328321784!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/gallery_1200/img-4241.jpg

    I learned long ago to watch out for ferocious Italian chick. ferocious Italian chick will mess your shit up, Jersey Shore style.

    • MB30SD

      She looks mean. Yikes!

  • MB30SD
    • Shady

      Reminds me of GTA. Looks promising.

      • MB30SD

        but GTA for smart guys… like you and GP.

        Not just pulling a hooker out of her car, beating her, and stealing the car.

        …you first need to make her stoplight change to red, you need to disable her car alarm and unlock her doors, then run her med history to make sure she isn’t going to give you that new antibiotics-resistant strain of gonorrhea, blow up the car her pimp is sitting in…. and then pull her out of her car, beat her, and steal the car.

        • Shady

          hahahaha

          • MB30SD

            get online so I can give you that new antibiotics resistant strain of gonorrhea

            Fucking sick of working on this gosh durned spec.

          • Shady

            Um, yeah, no thanks. I’m good.

          • MB30SD

            ok, then how about a little shoot shoot bang bang?

          • Shady

            Bang! Bang!

            I’ve got to run some errands, but perhaps later ‘ol chap?

          • MB30SD

            Mmmmm… quite.

      • gpldan waiting 4 Funukkah

        Shady,

        I want to join your version of Chicago. this will be my avatar:

  • MB30SD

    oh, and just had breakfast next to Danny Woodhead and Darrell Stuckey (one of their safeties). They said hey when I was walking by so told them good luck this year, didn’t add that they’re probably gonna need it… hee hee

  • MB30SD

    DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog
    Mike Wilbon wouldn’t know Landon Donovan’s possible value to USMNT if it woke him up every morning with a moist beejer.

    Moist beejers are the best kind of beejers.

  • MB30SD
  • Irish Sweetness

    High praise for Trestman indeed. Sounds like a guy that can coach a superbowl team.

    http://www.chicagobears.com/news/article-1/Marshall-calls-coach-best-in-business/3a918390-e7ce-418a-a831-49eb0ad7d96b

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