An early morning at Staples. Cathy and Jake are pacing back forth down the overcomplicated printer aisle.
JAKE: I love you, Cathy.
CATHY: You should.
JAKE: But I hate being here.
CATHY: There are too many printers.
JAKE: A lot.
CATHY: They all do different things.
JAKE: They do.
CATHY: What are we looking for?
JAKE: What?
CATHY: What’s most important?
JAKE: Printing.
CATHY: They all print, ass.
JAKE: Do they all print well?
CATHY: How the fuck am I supposed to know how they print. They’re sitting on a shelf. We buy one, we take it home, we connect it, it prints. That’s when we learn how they print.
JAKE: We could read reviews.
CATHY: From who?
JAKE: Whom.
CATHY: Fuck you.
JAKE: Reviews from people. On the internet.
CATHY: Do you think we should really be trusting the kinds of people who review printers on the internet?
JAKE: The way I see it –
CATHY: See what?
JAKE: Let me finish.
CATHY: Okay.
JAKE: The way I see it, we have two options. We can buy one of these reliable guys. Nothing exciting. You hit print; they print. You know what you’re getting, in standard black and white.
