Kickers. That’s it.

The most important games of the week for the Chicago Bears will be played tonight (Bears v Rams) and tomorrow night (Vikings v Seahawks). But there’s still much to keep an eye on before we hit the primetime slate.

Who should the Bears fan root for?

Browns over Panthers

Another Panthers loss would basically clear them from the wildcard fray.

Cowboys over Eagles

There’s an argument to be made for rooting against Dallas. But that’s a seeding argument. Seeding schmeeding. Fans should just want the Bears playing in January.

Giants over Redskins

This is the least important because Mark Sanchez ain’t making a run.

It’s been a long time. A long, long time. In 2013 the Bears had a chance to make the playoffs over the final month but they were 6-6 at this stage and a definitive mediocrity.  Per Football Outsiders, the Bears have an 85.1% chance to win the NFC North and a 96.3% chance of making the postseason. This is the kind of piece I’ve wanted to write for a long, long, long time.

NFC NORTH

Where Things Stand

Bears (8-4) are home to the Rams and Packers, followed by at Niners and Vikings.

Vikings (6-5-1) are at Seahawks, home to the Dolphins, at Lions, home to the Bears.

Notes

• Any analysis of the remaining schedule has to begin with a basic fact: the Vikings haven’t been good. To expect them now to win their final four games is a bit of a stretch. But their contest in Seattle Monday night will set the tone for the rest of their season. It’s not a “must win” when it comes to making the postseason but it may be when it comes to challenging for the NFC North, especially if the Bears beat the Rams Sunday night.
• Bears are 5-1 at home and their five wins have been by 7, 38, 14, 12 and 5. They have been great at Soldier Field. If they finish the season 6-2 at home, splitting their next two games, they’ll only need a win in San Francisco to host a playoff game in January.

WILDCARD

Where Things Stand

*Note: If the Bears are competing for a wildcard spot, one must assume the Vikings have won the NFC North. So we can leave them out of this equation.*

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Seahawks @ Panthers. Packers @ Vikings. The four teams currently fighting for two wildcard spots in the NFC are facing off. So sit back, crack open an Old Style, and enjoy watching potential playoff opponents beat the hell out of each other. 

There are 11 playoff games. My best record against the spread was 7-4 in 2014. This year I will take that record to the woodshed.

Tennessee at Kansas City

Saturday – 3:20 pm CT 

Pick: Chiefs -9.

For some reason I’ve been watching a bunch of Titans games lately, mostly to look at Mariota, and something is very clear: the Titans are terrible. Kansas City was 6-2 at home this season and are quietly coming into the postseason on a four-game winning streak. (The Matt Nagy bump?) This profiles as the weekend’s only blowout. Lay the points! 37-16 Chiefs.

Atlanta at Los Angeles

Saturday – 7:15 pm CT

Pick: Atlanta +6.5.

I don’t know why I think this but I think there’s a big effort somewhere in this Falcons team. I’m not sure they can win this game on the road because they don’t have a consistent bone in their collective bodies but I still need Jared Goff to win a playoff game before I can get fully on the Ramwagon. 27-21 Rams.

Buffalo at Jacksonville

Sunday – 12:05 pm CT

Pick: Bills +9.

I’m just banking on this game being unwatchably low-scoring. 16-9 Jags.

Carolina at New Orleans

Sunday – 3:40 pm CT

Pick: Saints -7.

These teams played twice this season. Saints won both. Total score: 65-34. If this game were in Carolina I think a Panthers upset would be in-play but I’m having a hard time seeing it in the dome. I’ll be rooting for Chico and the boys but that egg they laid in Week 17 against the Falcons is tough to shake from my mind. 30-17 Saints.

Here’s how Roger Ebert opened his review of Joe Versus the Volcano, the brilliantly odd 1990 film from John Shanley:

Gradually during the opening scenes of “Joe Versus the Volcano,” my heart began to quicken, until finally I realized a wondrous thing: I had not seen this movie before. Most movies, I have seen before. Most movies, you have seen before. Most movies are constructed out of bits and pieces of other movies, like little engines built from cinematic Erector sets. But not “Joe Versus the Volcano.”

I have never seen a football game like Sunday’s Bears/Panthers tilt. Never. Think about what took place.

• The Bears attempted 7 passes, completing 4 and only 1 to a wide receiver. And won by 2 touchdowns.
• The Bears averaged 3.1 yards per carry, with a long of 11 yards. And won by 2 touchdowns.
• The Bears ran 19 plays in the second half (sans kneel downs) for a grand total of 28 yards. And won by 2 touchdowns.
• The Bears were outgained in total yardage 293 to 153. And won by 2 touchdowns.
• The Bears had the football for 17 minutes less than the Panthers. And won by 2 touchdowns.
• The Bears got 15 less first downs than the Panthers. 15! And won by 2 touchdowns.

You could live to be a thousand years old and never see a game like this again. The iconic “They Are Who We Thought They Were” game from 2006 was not this lopsided statistically. Oddly enough, Trubisky’s four completions were matched that night by Rex Grossman’s four interceptions.

Sunday’s win over the Carolina Panthers was defined by one moment, one play. After Trubisky’s lunge for the end zone was deemed short, John Fox faced fourth-and-a-foot with about a minute remaining in the first half. If the Bears went and scored, they’d lead 21-3 and receive the ball to start the second half. If they went and failed, chances are the Panthers would have run the ball three times, forcing Chicago to burn their timeouts, but still giving the ball back to the Bears with enough time to score.

There was almost no reason NOT to go. John Fox did NOT hesitate. Field goal. 17-3.

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On this week’s episode:

• I take on the anthem protests for the first time in the opening monologue. If you don’t like it, I don’t care.
• Scott Fowler of the Charlotte Observer talks the Greg Olsen trade, Cam Newton’s “likability”, Chico Rivera’s standing with the organization and why he questioned Mitch Trubisky coming into the draft…and still does. (Scott did the spot from his car so you might wanna turn the volume up a notch or two during this passage of the pod.)
• Reverend Dave has a ghost issue in East Africa.
• Music from Tom Petty & Ray Parker Jr.

The game will be dissected all across the board for weeks. Here are just a few quick thoughts.

• I don’t think I’ll ever forget the image of Cam Newton refusing to go all-in to recover his own fumble. The biggest and strongest quarterback in the league came up small in a massive moment.
• Has any defensive player ever finished a season better than Von Miller? His AFC title game and Super Bowl were historic.
• The Gary Kubiak / John Fox debate that jumped on the internet last night makes no sense. The debate people should be having is Wade Phillips / John Fox. I can end that debate now. Wade is one of the greatest defensive coaches in league history. Fox builds great defenses.
• I don’t want to see Peyton Manning play football anymore. When Denver ran the ball on that late third down I just felt bad. Primarily because it was the smart call.
• Usually you can’t label a team’s loss this simply but I will make an exception for Carolina. The moment got to them. They seemed to make every mistake. They’re young enough to rebound and get back there but they should show up with real offensive tackles next time.

Money Mouth

Nine games over for the season. Need a 2-1 finish this week to set up an all-or-nothing Super Bowl to reach my coveted a 10 games over for the year.

Patriots -3 over Broncos / Panthers -3 over Cardinals

Two best teams in the league meet in the Super Bowl.

Patriots & Broncos Under 45

I had the final score at 27-17 Patriots. That’s 44. Works for me.