There once was a fella called Flus.

Whose coaching had minimal use.

Year after year,

Fans would show up to cheer,

But leave with their necks in a noose.

There once was a coach called Eberflus.

Whose neck was well in the coaching noose.

Some wins were the suture,

He drafted his future,

And now Matt is rockin’ like Bruce.

Sometimes a Tweet deserves its own post, and it also helps me save the Tweet for posterity. This is just the coolest perspective of the victory celebration.

Sea Monster of the Midway! pic.twitter.com/aG1b0DebrD

— Brian Hurley (@brianrhurley) September 13, 2022

There once as a website called Twitter

That most people read on the shitter

The users are some

of the world’s wretched scum

But damn it, I just cannot quit her.

There once was a guy in Green Bay

Whose family had cast him astray

Though not enough rings,

ample drama he brings

‘til inevitably deciding to stay.

There were two men who played one position.

They prepared for a great “competition”.

The fight wasn’t fair,

Ten hadn’t a prayer,

‘Cuz Nine didn’t need an audition.

For those of you who don’t know, Nick Foles is rumored to have a particularly large phallus. You can read about the lore by CLICKING HERE.

An Irishman Reflects Upon Nick Foles

‘Dere once was a quarterback fella

‘Twas rumored to drop an umbrella

His pecker hangs low,

But his play is so-so,

“Hey Paddy, please start me a Stella.”

A blogger was born in N.J.

Who thought the QB’d be O.K.

Turns out he was wrong

And The Kid don’t belong

So who takes the snap op‘nin day?

Khalil is a brilliant defender,

who puts tackles and guards in a blender.

But opposite Mack

We can’t find a sack,

‘Cuz Lenny plays wild on a bender.

He goes by the name of Trey Burton

And the tight end is constantly hurtin’

They need him to play

Or else they will pay

A Henry or Hooper, for certain