Stan, an objective fan of the Chicago Bears, can’t sleep. Retired for over a year, and widowed for slightly longer, he spends the late hours of the evenings listening to Chicago sports radio and giving fake interviews to the hosts about his beloved franchise, hoping his endless droning will trick him into slumber. It never works. 

Knowing his local dive is open at 7 AM and knowing a few of the fellas who might frequent the tavern at that hour, Stan wanders around the corner. When he enters, only one seat is occupied, by a younger man, eagerly scrolling on his cell phone, adorned in a #1 Justin Field jersey. 

Sheila, beautiful and pregnant, is behind the bar. She hasn’t turned on the tavern’s only television because she can’t find the remote. 

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Sheila: What are you doing here?

Stan: You have coffee on?

Sheila: Yep. Gonna put in a breakfast order from The Greeks, you want anything?

Stan: No, I’m okay.

Sheila (to #1): How about you?

#1: Nah, I’m good.

Stan (sitting beside #1): Good game Sunday, huh?

#1: Yea, they finally got a win.

Stan: The kid quarterback played well too.

#1: (Reluctantly) Sure. (Then) He could actually be a good backup down the road.

Stan: Why do you say that?

#1: Say what?

Stan: Why do you say he could only be a good backup?

#1: Did you see his stats? (#1 holds up his phone to Stan, where he’d be staring at the Tyson Bagent completion chart on Twitter.) He didn’t complete a pass more than 15 yards downfield.

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Why Do I Like the Chicago Bears this Week?

I.

Always.

Like.

THE.

Chicago.

Bears.

Secret…BAGENT Man!

Here’s how I am choosing to treat the Justin Fields injury: it’s a relief. The Justin Fields conversation was growing more tedious by the day. Tyson Bagent provides three opportunities.

First, he could be a long-term backup option for this organization. Those guys are invaluable.

Second, it will be interesting to see how the offense runs when run correctly. There was a noticeable difference, a flow, when Bagent entered the game Sunday. He was limited, of course, by his physical abilities, but the offense moved the ball with more cohesion after Fields exited. The ball was out quick, on-time, in the hands of playmakers. Let’s see if that continues.

Third, the longshot: what if he’s good? What if he goes out Sunday and puts up a 27-38, 310, 2? I know, I know, he’s an undrafted free agent, Jeff! But don’t we have enough evidence to prove NFL franchises are clueless when it comes to evaluating college quarterbacks? And is being an UDFA really all that different than being Mr. Irrelevant, like the fella in San Francisco?

The Sun-Times caught hell for their cover, but Bagent makes Sunday’s game against the Raiders more fun for this aging Bears blogger. My story is written on Fields.

Top Ten Cats in Cinema

(10) The Siamese Cats, Lady and the Tramp (1955)

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(9) All 52 Cats of Grey Gardens, Grey Gardens (1975)

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(8) The one on Marlon Brando’s Lap, The Godfather (1972)

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(7) Blofeld’s Cat, From Russia with Love (1963)

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(6) Cheshire Cat – played by Telly Savalas, Alice in Wonderland (1985)

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(5) Thomas O’Malley, The Artistocats (1970)

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(4) Oliver, Oliver & Company (1988)

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(3) Garfield, Garfield’s Thanksgiving (1989)

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(2) The Cat, Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

A cat so interesting it has caused the brilliant Dana Stevens, who wrote an essential book on Buster Keaton, to pen think pieces for The Atlantic about it.

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(1) The Orange Guy, The Long Goodbye (1973)

Is this the best sentence ever found on the internet, re: The Long Goodbye? “Another website claims the cat was played by a feline thespian named Chauncey Scratchet.”

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