The Wednesday Matt Eberflus Limerick
I don’t know George McCaskey, despite spending the last few years having to deny I am George McCaskey. Have we spoken? Yes. Several times. That’s it. We don’t have dinners together. But over the years I have become quite friendly with people deep inside the organization, several of whom can be described as being in George’s inner circle. And based on my communication with George, and my conversations with these individuals, there is an unequivocal truth to the following statement: George McCaskey is a very good man, and he very much wants the Chicago Bears to be successful.
Can George McCaskey engineer that success? So far, no.
First, something needs to be repeatedly stated. George is one of the most hands-off owners in the league. He hires a general manager, and that GM runs the entirety of football operations. (Ryan Pace was singularly responsible for millions spent on facilities in Lake Forest.) Kevin Warren was hired to take over the business end from Ted Phillips and get the new stadium sorted. The administrative aspects of this organization are a mess. The stadium issues are dramatically unresolved. Is Kevin Warren the worst hire of George’s tenure? No, not in a world where the football leadership was once Phil Emery and Marc Trestman. But Warren is pretty close.
Now, an argument that is constantly made is that George should hire a “football guy” to run the franchise from the ownership level. But that method has been proven time and time again to fail. Parcells flopped in Miami. Holmgren flopped in Cleveland. Coughlin flopped in his return to Jacksonville. These are three of the most impressive football minds in the modern game and they achieved nothing in those roles. Who would the Bears even hire? So, while many bark mad about the ownership of this club, I focus my attention on the football, and that means the GM.
The Bears could have Jim Harbaugh running their ballclub right now but that would have required firing Ryan Poles last off-season. Harbaugh is the alpha in an organization. He chooses the individual serving in the head personnel role, and he chose Joe Hortiz, his longtime friend, to lead the front office in Los Angeles. And, be honest with yourself, did Poles deserve to be fired in January? Poles tore down a decrepit roster for two seasons and rebuilt the team into what most of us believed should be a double-digit win unit this year, even with a rookie quarterback under center. They still need talent on both of their lines, but I dare you to find one preseason analyst who called this Bears roster anything other than seriously improved. If this 2024 season had happened a year ago, the move to Harbaugh would have been something of a no-brainer. But it did not.
Two pigeons are resting atop a fictional statue of Richard Dent in his hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. They have just flown back to Georgia after spending Sunday afternoon at Soldier Field, watching Bears v. Packers. They are tired. They are hot. Their names are POODLE and PUDDLE, but neither of them knows the origins of those names.
POODLE: You know what I have noticed lately?
PUDDLE: What?
POODLE: Melancholy.
PUDDLE: Because of the election thing?
POODLE: Fuck the election.
PUDDLE: That’s what I say, but that’s just pigeon privilege.
POODLE: Pigeon privilege. What’s next?
PUDDLE: Something is always next.
POODLE: Melancholy. Deep, profound sadness.
PUDDLE: Like Hamlet?
POODLE: How do you know Hamlet?
PUDDLE: Guy with a beard and a scarf was walking through the park a few months back. He dropped a book and the blew it open. I walked over and gave it a perusal.
POODLE: Oh, you gave it a perusal, did you?
PUDDLE: I did. I gave it a perusal.
POODLE: What, my friend, did you peruse?
PUDDLE: I don’t know the story of the whole book, but I know there was a Hamlet and I know he was melancholy.
POODLE: How did you know he was melancholy?
PUDDLE: It said it in the play. That he had bad color, and this other character wanted him to shake off that color and be friendly.
POODLE: Good book?
PUDDLE: Wind blew it closed before I could get through that page, but it seemed like something you would like.
POODLE: I only ever read from two books. Both good!
PUDDLE: Which two?
POODLE: One was something about a salesman. Sad. The other was called Forum by an author called something Penthouse.
It comes down to what you believe.
Do you believe that after the Hail Maryland, after Gutless in Glendale, after Pathetic v. Patriots, the Bears will be able to reverse course by simply changing the offensive coordinator?
Do you believe the rookie quarterback has any faith in the direction this staff is leading him?
Do you believe the absurdly disgruntled DJ Moore will stop calling for the backup quarterback now?
Do you believe the now-injured defense will be able to endure these maladies and keep the Packers offense in check?
Do you believe the Bears can overcome this significant a sideline mismatch?
I would love to be pleasantly surprised Sunday. I’ll be rooting for that extremely hard. Do I believe it? I do not.
Green Bay Packers 34, Chicago Bears 13
I.
Always.
Like.
THE.
Chicago.
Bears.
Breer works for SI, which I didn’t know still existed, under Peter King’s old MMQB moniker. His information regarding Flus’s future has been the best in the business:
The Chicago Bears’ move Tuesday morning didn’t come out of left field—Matt Eberflus himself indicated change could be on its way Monday during his press conference. It’s also not wholly unwarranted, given that the Bears haven’t scored a touchdown since losing on a Hail Mary in Washington two weeks ago.
But there is a larger question here, unrelated to an unhappy fan base getting a scalp as Chicago moves away from offensive coordinator Shane Waldron and to Thomas Brown as the team’s play-caller.
And what exactly will this fix?
Brown’s a good coach. But his play-calling experience, at any level, is limited to what he did last year in Carolina, when Frank Reich started as the Panthers’ play-caller, then gave the duties to Brown, took them back three weeks later, and then was fired, which cleared the way for Brown to call the offense over the last six weeks of the season. He’s never coached quarterbacks, and, at least on paper, he doesn’t really fix the problem.
And a big part of the problem is there’s been very little experience on the staff coaching the No. 1 pick in the draft who is starting at quarterback. Waldron had none. Brown had one year of it, and that didn’t turn out great last year. Quarterbacks coach Kerry Joseph had none. So while there was acumen and expertise there, the staff was flying blind taking a quarterback like Caleb Williams from an Air Raid offense at USC into the pros.
Maybe the Bears will go outside the organization now to fill that void, and get Brown some help. Judging by how the offense has played, the staff could certainly use some.
Obviously, there are big-picture questions with Eberflus, too, and it’s fair to say his future in Chicago rides largely on Brown’s job performance.
The NFL’s had two offensive coordinators fired in-season thus far this year, and they just so happen to be the two guys that Eberflus has hired to run his offense with the Bears—Waldron, and now ex-Raiders coordinator Luke Getsy.
So it’d stand to reason that ownership probably won’t let Eberflus make a third hire into the position after this year. So Brown turning around Williams and saving the Bears’ season is likely Eberflus’s ticket out of this. And if Brown delivers, then, obviously, Brown would probably become an easy pick to stick as the OC.
This is not going to be a post, or a column. This is just going to be a comment, a statement that I believe should be made and I want it to sit as the main post on this site for the entirety of this Wednesday.
To George McCaskey. To Kevin Warren. To Ryan Poles.
You’re losing.
Losing games. Losing the fans. Losing every drop of momentum built up over the previous two off-seasons. You’re losing me, a dedicated supporter and someone who has relentlessly watched this team every week since Bears football was available on the east coast and covered them diligently (at a personal financial cost) since 2005. I’m not abdicating my fandom by any means. What I am beginning to abandon is the burden, the burden of the Bears. You’ve become a chore, and one I am refusing to prioritize moving forward.
I don’t care who the offensive playcaller is. Matt Eberflus is still the coach. Today. But if the Bears watch the Green Bay Packers leave Soldier Field Sunday victorious again, that must change. No more “we don’t fire coaches in-season” bullshit. That’s what you have always done and what you have always done is fail. If the Packers win Sunday and you don’t make an immediate change in the leadership of this franchise, you are displaying (again) a glaring lack of awareness. If the Packers win Sunday and you don’t make a seismic shift on the coaching staff, don’t be surprised as fan anger turns to apathy for the remainder of this campaign and into the off-season.
You’re losing. Again.
When will you finally have enough of it?
Sincerely,
DBB.
Shane Waldron has been relieved of his duties and offensive passing game coordinator Thomas Brown has been promoted to offensive coordinator.https://t.co/KVd0Innr3d
— Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) November 12, 2024
Mark and James, both in their early 70s, sit in the same barstools they’ve occupied on football Sundays for thirty plus years. In this bar they talk to no one but each other and the bartender, a lanky fella that knows when one Miller High Life is empty, another should take its place.
Mark: Did it matter?
James: Did what matter?
Mark: What happened there, did it matter?
James: Everything matters.
Mark: Sure, everything matters, in the existential sense, everything matters, but does everything really matter?
James: I guess that’s a question of perspective, isn’t it?
Mark: Is it?
James: I think so.
Mark: Explain.
James: A man walks into a dark alleyway in the middle of the night. He sees a figure lurking in the shadows behind him.
Mark: Eerie.
James: Right?
Mark: Go on.
James. Thank you. (Beat) He sees this figure and knows he has no choice but physical altercation. This figure is set on menace, and diplomacy won’t dissolve the situation.
Mark: He has to fight the figure.
James: He does.
Mark: Does he?
James: He does!
Mark: Okay.
James: The figure emerges.
Mark: I’m frightened.
James: Fuck off.
Mark: Go on.
James. Thank you. (Beat) The figure emerges and it’s a drunken bum. Down on his luck, stinky hobo, hoping to rip this guy off for a few bucks so he can get a 40 of Old English from the corner. Man gives him a shove. Bum falls down. Situation handled.
Mark: Not very impressive.
James. No, it’s not.
