180 Comments

Birds, or I Know it When I See it.

| October 21st, 2024

Bill and Jim sit on a park bench, holding cups of coffee acquired from their local diner. Coffee, to them, is a ritual, an experience to be savored. It would not be uncommon for them to nurse those cups of coffee over the span of many hours. They don’t see the coffee as getting cold. They see that as the natural progression of things. From hot, to lukewarm, to cold. That’s simply what life offers. 

Both men have thick Chicago accents.

__________

Bill: What is it the man said about pornography?

Jim: I know it when I see it.

Bill: He wasn’t wrong.

Jim: No, he was not.

Bill: You ever wonder about birds?

Jim: Birds?

Bill: Birds.

Jim: No, I never wonder about birds.

Bill: I wonder about birds.

Jim: What is it you wonder?

Bill: I wonder if they know what’s going on.

Jim: Going on where?

Bill: Here. Over there. All around.

Jim: You mean, do the birds know we’re two guys having a coffee and a conversation?

Bill: If you want.

Jim: No, I doubt they do.

Bill: So you think the whole world is just random to birds?

Jim: I think that’s a fair assessment.

Bill: Do you find a sadness in that?

Jim: No.

Bill: You’re not an empathetic man.

Jim: That’s not true!

Bill: It is true! You lack empathy.

Jim: I do not lack empathy, Bill. I have plenty of empathy for my fellow man. If you want to suggest I lack ornithological empathy, well then maybe you have a point.

Bill: How do you know that word?

Jim: Ornithological?

Bill: Yes, how do you know that word?

Jim: Sometimes we know things, Bill, and how we know them is a mystery.

Bill: That’s how I feel about the capital of Connecticut.

Jim: My ex-wife cheated on me with the mailman.

Bill: What brings that up?

Jim: They moved to Hartford.

Bill: I did not know that.

Jim: You’re like the birds.

Bill: There’s no difference, Jim.

Jim: Between what?

Bill: Man and bird.

Jim: There is a difference!

Bill: What is it?

Jim: One is a man, and the other is a fucking bird.

The men sit in silence for several moments, realizing the bird debate has reached an impenetrable impasse. 

Bill: The kid at quarterback.

Jim: Williams.

Bill: You think he’s the real thing?

Jim: I do.

Bill: We’ve been burned before.

Jim: We’ve only been burned.

Bill: That’s true.

Jim: Everybody knows the names.

Bill: They do.

Jim: Burn, baby, burn.

Bill: I wonder, though –

Jim: Wonder what?

Bill: Are we just being naive?

Jim: It’s possible.

Bill: Are we the cartoon kid? The bald one with the zig zag shirt?

Jim: Charles.

Bill: Are we Charles?

Jim: I don’t think we are.

Bill: What makes you so certain?

Jim: Certain? Shit, I ain’t certain. Last time I was certain I lost five grand when Namath beat the Colts. But this feels different.

Bill: How so?

Jim: With the other guys, I always watched them and had questions. Can he learn to do this thing, or that thing? Will he improve this flaw or that flaw? I think there’s a thing with quarterbacks.

Bill: What thing?

Jim: You know it when you see it.

Bill: Just like the man said.

Jim: Just like he said.

Bill: And you see it?

Jim: I do.

Bill: So do I.

Jim: You think the birds see it?

Bill: With the great ones, yes. Even the birds can see it.

Bill and Jim sip their coffees. 

Tagged: , , ,