The Positional Quick 3: Tight Ends

| June 12th, 2018

I’m traveling in Dingle, Ireland years ago and I’m exhausted. This was my first day ever in Europe and I couldn’t keep my eyes open at 4:30 in the afternoon. My uncle turns to me and says, “Have a quick three. You’ll be fine.” I drank three Guinness in the span of a half hour. Seven hours later I’m dancing to a shitty Irish house DJ with Jenny Pye, a local lass who dreamed of being an EMT in New York City.

I’m very tired of this 2018 off-season. And incredibly eager for the season to begin. So I’m taking the quick three approach to each position group as we head into the summer. Not grading the groups or anything. Just making some points.

Tight Ends

  • One refrain that emanated (leaked) from Halas Hall a year ago was that Adam Shaheen just wasn’t ready to be a down-for-down NFL contributor. Word started to come once criticisms about Shaheen’s playing time showed up in the dailies. Was that true? Probably. Shaheen played for Ashland. Then he played for the Chicago Bears. That’s like playing Ricky Roma at the Bayonne Jewish Community Center in October and opening at the Helen Hayes on Broadway in January. And he was making that transition without a director. Shaheen is going to make plays. The current crop of coaches love him.
  • Bold prediction: Bears fans will like Dion Sims way more after 2018 than they did after 2017. Sims is a good football player. With a strong offensive coaching staff, he’ll show that now.
  • If the Bears are going to carry a fourth tight end in 2018, I hope it’s Daniel Brown. He’s big. He can block. He’s shown he can make a play or two in this league. And if they need someone to slot into Trey Burton’s role for a game or two, Brown seems most-equipped to do so.

Tomorrow: Offensive Line

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  • The Yes Guy


  • CanadaBear

    I’m guessing Brown makes the 53. Pretty sure he plays ST’s.

  • ButtonShoes


    “Bold prediction: Bears fans will like Dion Sims way more after 2018 than
    they did after 2017. Sims is a good football player. With a strong
    offensive coaching staff, he’ll show that now.”

    One year from now:

    “Of course the Bears cut Dion Sims. We all knew they would. He was a terrible signing to begin with and now his cap hold is gone.”

  • Sactowns#1

    Wait… I thought we were all suppoosed to be stoked on the guy from Philly but he didnt even get a mention?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      He is so good that his play speaks for itself and does not need to be written about.

      • Johnnywad

        They’re trying to sneak him into the season by ignoring him in the press. Shhhhh……

  • CanadaBear

    Judging by the lack of traffic here, it’s going to be a long slog until training camp!

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Someone should bring up politics, the economy, a conspiracy theory, or religion.

      • BenderMcLugh
        • KentuckyBearsFan

          Celebration of the Upcoming Rat-ture


          Church of Ratter-Day Saints

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          lol not sure but it looks awesome. I myself am a practicing Pastafarian. Who can’t get behind a religion that loves Pirates, and their heaven consists of a Beer Volcano and Stippers.

          All praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!

          • You laugh now, but wait till you die and are judged but motza balls

          • leftcoastdave

            You mean meatballs. Wait a minute, that’s what happens on this site, being judged by meatballs.

      • evantonio

        South Korea didn’t know Trump was going to stop the war games. North Korea didn’t have to give anything up to get that concession from Trump.


        • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0


        • leftcoastdave

          Like we need to spend more money practicing what our military is already capable of doing?

          • Maybe S Korea could pay us in Samsungs

          • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

            not until they fix that bullshit charging port! bullshitttt!

          • CanadaBear

            I don’t have a phone and that made me laugh!

          • AlbertInTucson

            The flip-phone user salutes the “No Phone” man!

            I don’t need all the Apps and games on my hip but, I DO enjoy the convenience of a phone and for sure, like the wife and my mom having them.

          • leftcoastdave

            Flip be bad! I’m with you. Can’t see the damn screens which always break and have a real computer whenever I need one.

            Flip phones are what it is and all you need.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            I am so glad you old guys at least accept cell phones even flip phones. I figured you guys would be bitching about how we didn’t need anything other than the telegraph

          • evantonio

            Apparently. That’s why we’ve been playing war games for over a century. Idle hands and all…

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          ahh….nobody gave up anything on paper or in real life today.

          The war games are suspended not stopped. Whether they continue to stay suspended will depend on….hell I don’t know.

          • leftcoastdave

            Whether it becomes necessary to send another message which is the reason why lil’ rocket man had a change of heart and quit shooting off missiles.

            He knows a red line when he sees one and this one was not something razored out by Dennis Rodman on a mirror.

        • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

          denuclearization treaty signed today and we talkin bout practice? Practice? We talkin bout practice man….not the game, not the game…practice man…practice.

          • evantonio

            Treaty?! Don’t talk about treaty! Are you kidding me? Treaty?! I’m just hoping we can win a game, another game!

        • Whatcha talking about Willis? N Korea will be denuked…by 3020…

          Nobel biatches!

          • evantonio

            That’s optimistic to think we’ll still be around by then.

      • SC Dave

        Well, at the FIFA fan zone up the street from Red Square, I’d have to say Mexico showed out beat, although a late surge from Peru was noticeable.

        And the Moscow Metro definitely impresses.

        Tomorrow night… Ballet at the Bolshoi.

        • John F

          Are you seriously in Russia?

          That is awesome…..

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          I always pegged you as a Russian spy.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Or, NOT.

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          how ’bout soccer?

          FIFA World Cup Schedule

          • AlbertInTucson

            I’m not much of a fan but, for me, it beats the snot out of “… politics, the economy, a conspiracy theory, or religion.”

          • John F

            Why talk about something that we might agree on when we can spend endless hours of our lives finding the 5-10 percent of things we disagree on?

            Why that’s downright un-American (as far as the last few years have been)………

          • AlbertInTucson

            So, just how many teams are IN the World Cup and is it mightily embarrassing that Team USA isn’t one of them?

          • KentuckyBearsFan


          • Johnnywad

            Not to me. Soccer sucks.

            All of our best athletes play sports that don’t. So our soccer team suffers.

          • Yeah, pretty sure if the UFDAs who run 4.4 decided to play soccer growing up, we’d win a few World Cups.

          • Johnnywad

            And they’d probably play with an edge instead of constantly flopping and faking injury. Those guys are ridiculous. That game has become unwatchable. And I say that as a crazy ex soccer dad that spent thousands upon thousands of dollars chasing a kid through the highest levels of club travel soccer.

            It’s a shitty, boring game. A 2-0 lead with a half hour left is a blowout. It’s an insurmountable lead. They’ve made a game with an 8’ x 24’ net impossible to score in. It’s ridiculous. Take away the offsides rules, penalize floppers, and I might start watching again.

          • The flopping by far is what turns me off. I do enjoy the World Cups though it’s mainly for the experience than the game.

            The latina on the Spanish channel is good almost enough


          • willbest

            Soccer is an endurance sport. Very few breaks, and they only let you sub if somebody dies. Very different from US sports which feature primarily sprinting, with lots of breaks for TV and subs.

          • I’m pretty sure those dudes running 4.4s can be molded to endure. Lot of them did track and basketball. Heck, i think even our better athletes go for track and field over soccer.

            Or if the Kobes and Currys of the NBA played soccer as kids, there would be no World Cups. Just US champs and everyone else.

          • willbest

            You forgot your Merica Fuck yeah!

            Kobe is likely to have sucked at soccer at an elite level. 6’6″ would work against him unless he was a goal keeper. Soccer players are shorter around 5’10” on average. Hell Messi is 5’7″ What the hell are all our talented short kids doing?

            Also, I think you are over estimating the ability for athletic freaks to train into whatever sport they want. At elite levels body type and instincts matters. If Usin Bolt had decided marathons were his thing, nobody would know who he is right now.

      • Any economists here? I’m trying to figure out why they’re so against the Trump tarriffs (which i actually agree with).
        If someone charges you $200 for a beer, and you charge them $20, seems like a bad deal to the latter.

        I agree that we should’ve went after China first, but the underlying premise holds true: the US is stll getting ripped off

        Feels like it’s overly convulted. If you wanna a true free market, need a level playing field (that includes subsidizing)

        But I’m but a simple caveman lawyer…so I’m open to some Goldman Sachs trustfund baby enlightening me on the subject….

        • John F

          I suppose the main reasons (not that I necessarily agree) are:

          1.) The tariff might be somewhat arbitrary and may not really “balance” things out
          2.) It could lead to an endless tit-for-tat tariff war that goes on for a long time
          3.) If you start levying tariffs with different countries and different industries simultaneously, you can’t really predict how intertwined things are and how the tariffs will affect the overall economy

          • I know it’s all extremely complicated, purposefully so the lil guy doesnt see big $ ripping them off, but..
            1. ‘Reciprocity” is a Trump theme which seems rather straight forward. You charge 190% for dairy, we charge 190% for dairy.
            2. #1 could end the retaliation. If theyre charging 190% and then double that if we charge the same, FUCK them, charge them 1,000% if they want to go that route. We have perhaps the most coveted market in the world. It’ll hurt them more if they want to go that route
            3. True, the market will become more volatile as it must readjust, but in the long run, will be better for the US and the free market.

            The thing is, most politicians dont care about the long term. They only care about their home state donors and re-election.

            Heck, why not apply a ‘flat tax’ concept ? 20% for ALL imports no matter what the import.

            And if it’s subsidized by a gov like china, charge them more to make it fair.

            Seems reasonable to me.

            We gave our allies a good deal so they can rebuild after ww2. Japan, Germany, England, China etc no longer need the extra cut. They’ll be aight

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            One important thing to note is that Trump imposed the tariffs without consent from Congress. The only way he got by that was stating it was a threat to National Security. This is the same argument that the WTO will need to parse out. Bush tried putting tariffs on steel and aluminum years ago, and the WTO claimed they were illegal. However Trump’s rhetoric throughout is that these tariffs were to retaliate. Even last week he stated that the tariffs against Canada were in part due to the tariffs Canada has on agricultural products. So his statements on National Security can most likely be disproved and Congress can step in.

          • willbest

            Congress hasn’t been functional enough to step in in decades.

            Every President has these trade spats. They are largely for show. With Trump more than the others. If I were a conspiracy theorist I would be looking at which relative of an administration policy adviser was shorting what when the spat started.

          • AlbertInTucson

            House members spend the vast majority of their time raising money and trying to get re-elected.

        • willbest

          Short answer: Free trade is globalist bullshit.

          Long answer: And I say that as a recovering free trader. Maybe it took entering a profession with lots of trade barriers for me to truly appreciate them.

          Of course the free trade argument has always been if you let the Laotian make your clothes for 10 cents a day it doesn’t matter that your okay paying textile job got replaced with a low paying receptionist job. You will still be able to buy the clothes. But then lots of professions (like lawyers and doctors, and government employees) are immune to global competition so the cost of their services go up relative to your wage.

          Anyway, to the extent you see the GOP criticize Trump on free trade you are seeing the globalist wing of the party disagree with him.

          And you are right its pretty stupid to allow different rules for different people. Nobody is telling ODB to tie his shoelaces together or Rodgers to throw with his off hand. We shouldn’t allow that crap to go on in the arena of trade. Difference is, its much easier to police in football. In trade everybody cheats. The farm bill is a massive cheat. First we subsidize crop production, then we subsidize people’s ability to pay for it.

          Incidentally, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that. Being a net importer of food is asking for a world of hurt in the SHTF moment.

          The other issue is culture. for example, we like clean air and water in the US. Even us conservatives that think global warming is a trivial concern, don’t want to go back to the pre-EPA days. It costs money to comply with environmental standards. China doesn’t give a crap or at the very least hasn’t reached that stage. Trash Island in the pacific wasn’t created by the US. It was created by Asia.

          Well that means they can produce things cheaper than we can. So unless you are putting a tariff on them you are effectively outsourcing your pollution to the 3rd world.

  • CanadaBear

    Here’s something worth reading (kinda, sorta). Ranking the top 11 players in team history for the NFC North (and more).


    • Hester #5 on Bears? I love him, but don’t agree he should be ahead of Lach or Bronco.
      Reggie White should be at least #3 for Puke.
      If Vadgers doesnt win another SB is he truly ahead of Needledick?
      Didn’t know LeBeau was that good of a DB. Way before my time. Only know him as a great DC.
      Feel like Night Train Lane and Tarkenton should be higher

      • CanadaBear

        Somewhere in the article (I think under the Lions) he mentions these are in no particular order. I knew Irish would have his panties in a knot.

    • Irish Sweetness

      So QB is the most important position in football … unless you’re a Bear. We have ONE Lombardi, and Jim McMahon was our QB. People can point to the defense (they couldn’t stop Miami under Steve Fuller though) … I’ll just keep pointing to his 25 starts between ’84 and ’87 where we went undefeated. Could Sid Luckman do what Jim McMahon did? Only if you’re banging meth.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        25 starts? in 4 years – how many games did he miss? ALOT.

      • BerwynBomber

        Sid Luckman threw seven TDs in championship game with what was essentially a rugby ball. He won 4 NFL championships. He won a league MVP. He was an All-Pro five times.

        Cutler might have been as good as McMahon and the former rated out as nothing more than average/below average starter in his era.

        • CanadaBear

          When he was healthy he made that team a terror (the O could actually score with a forward pass). Unfortunately he wasn’t healthy very often.

  • leftcoastdave

    Just in: Lil’ Rocket Man accepts invite to come to America.

    Wonder if Trump will treat him to a Bears game at Soldiers Field?

    • If rocket man cruises around Southside, he might close off his borders and never want to talk to the West again.

      • Malice Halice


    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      My guess is he will OD on something parting with Rodman one night, then WW3 starts.

      • willbest

        Why would whatever General that steps up in NK want to start WW3 after we do them a solid?

  • In honor of SC in Russia…


    • SC Dave

      Fuck that bitch, this is Russia…

      Need to remember that

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