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Hall of Fame Game: A Running Diary

| August 3rd, 2018

What follows will be a stream of consciousness blog, written in real time as I watch the Hall of Fame Game. There will be no editing after the fact and, honestly, very little done while I’m writing. This is not an interesting sporting event. This is not a remotely interesting sporting event. So I’m trying to make it more fun.


7:50 ET

I’m going over to the game after watching ten minutes of Chris Matthews on MSNBC. I always wondered who Matthews reminded me of and it just fucking hit me. He’s Paul Sorvino’s Lips Manlis from the Dick Tracy movie. They even drool the same way.


7:52 ET

How did this become my life? There are people in bars, having fun, laughing together, fucking in bathroom stalls. I’m sitting on a couch with two cats. My girlfriend is getting on a plane for Israel. And I’m thinking, “Be fun to get a look at Kylie Fitts in pads.”


7:58 ET

Just turned on Yankees v. Red Sox and Boston has a guy named Jackie Bradley Junior. Which sounds exactly like the name I’d give a character in my fake novel, Murder at Stax Records.


8:00 ET

“Are you ready for some footballllllllllllllll?”

No. Kickoff is apparently not for another ten minutes.


8:03 ET

Ray Lewis just did his obnoxious dance and started revving up absolutely no one. If only he were this enthusiastic when police asked him what he knew about a homicide.


8:15 ET

First drive over. At no point during that drive did I even consider writing something. Chase Daniel threw a pick at the end of the drive. Even he didn’t seem to mind.


8:17 ET

Al Michaels quotes John Madden saying the busts in the Hall of Fame talk to each other at night.

Cris Collinsworth says, “Maybe the greatest line ever”. Really? That’s the greatest line ever? Ever??


8:19 ET

Instant replay should be outlawed in the preseason.


8:23 ET

Helmet rule called by an intensely white-haired Walt Coleman. (He must have been dyeing that shit.) That penalty is going to kill some teams in big moments.


8:25 ET

Benny Cunningham is running like a guy…that will struggle to be active on Sundays.


8:26 ET

Michael Burton has been the early star for the Bears. It will be interesting to see if Nagy/Helfrich actually utilize the fullback much when they start game-planning. I doubt it.


8:38 ET

I don’t even have glib remarks for the commercials. They’re as boring as the game. But Mercedes has run about 37 ads in the first half hour.


8:39 ET

Brian Urlacher will never not look stupid with that fake hair of his.

(And Chase Daniel just threw another pick. Is this game over yet?)


8:42 ET

Okay. Isaiah Irving is somebody the Bears should now get off the field. He’s been in the backfield for the entire first quarter. Not saying he’s going to be a regular season producer. But saying I’d start moving him up a bit on the depth chart and giving him run opposite Leonard Floyd.


8:55 ET

If your name is spelled Bobby Beathard…you’re not called “Betherd”. You are “Beat. Hard.” Deal with it.


8:58 ET

Bennie Fowler can’t catch.


8:58 ET (Part II) 

Pat O’Donnell continues to fail pinning teams deep. Can we please see some competition?


8:59 ET

You wanna bet the creators of Manifest have no idea how it’s going to end?


9:06 ET

Kylie Fitts looks awful. Just a series of endless whiffs and undisciplined crashes inside.


9:11 ET

Randy Moss named his son Thaddeus. Thaddeus Moss. He’s either a comic book villain or the world’s most pretentious psychology professor. “Have you read Ego, Ergo by Thaddeus Moss?”


9:14 ET

I just missed an entire Bears offensive drive. No idea what happened. Based on Twitter, nothing.


9:16 ET

Someone named Josh Woodrum is playing quarterback for the Ravens. I’d google who that is but I’m eating Talenti double dark chocolate gelato and that is my priority.


9:20 ET

Marlon Brown just dropped a pass here in the second quarter. Digest that sentence. Who the fuck is Marlon Brown? And if he’s playing in the second quarter, who is playing the third? Marlon Wayans? Judge Joe Brown?


9:31 ET

Half is wrapping up. If you wanted to discern anything of note, here’s something: Jon Bullard played a lot of that first half. And he was beaten pretty soundly down-for-down.


HALFTIME

This isn’t even fun to do. It’s excruciating. All I want to do is turn this crap off and watch Seinfeld reruns on Hulu. But I’ll be back for the third quarter. 


9:48 ET

Is there a more disingenuous human being than Ray Lewis with his god bullshit? You probably murdered a guy, Ray. Fuck off.


9:50 ET

“The only gift I got for you is the truth” -Ray Lewis. Just now. Did I mention I want Ray to fuck off? You actually pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice. You refused to tell the truth about the murder of a human being.


9:53 ET

Tony Dungy has no business being in the Hall of Fame.


9:55 ET

Answer to earlier question: Tanner Gentry has been relegated to the third quarter of this game. He’s the fifth option in the Hall of Fame game.


10:01 ET

Nick Orr just put his shoulder into the football to dislodge a pass. And then he was called for a personal foul. If you thought football was going to be easy to watch this season, you were wrong.


10:09 ET

Jerry Kramer’s bland storytelling is killing my Tyler Bray buzz.


10:10 ET

Why didn’t I drink during this game? The commentary could have been really silly by now but an early tee time on the dreaded Bethpage Black has me surfing the sober wave tonight. Instead I just keep hoping Al Michaels is going to announce there’s no fourth quarter in this game. Canceled.


10:15 ET

Camera cuts to two Bears fans in Urlacher jerseys. Why on earth would you buy a ticket and attend this game? This isn’t football. It’s a practice. But it’s a practice involving non-professional football players. Go to a bar. Watch on TV. Or even better…don’t watch at all.


10:17 ET

Collinsworth was in the middle of jerking off Lamar Jackson with vigor from the booth. Then Jackson threw a terrible pass that was picked off by a corner who’ll be selling used Nissans by Labor Day.


10:26 ET

Collinsworth just referred to Detroit as one of the three best teams in all of football. Did neither Michaels nor Dungy think that an appropriate time to ask, “Hey Cris, are you fucking drunk?”


10:28 ET

Wims!!!!

At the end of this play, both players lowered their helmets. Nothing called. So, the refs are in midseason form.


10:33 ET

Bears just had third-and-goal and Wims on the field. And they set up the perfect fade to Wims. Then Bray threw a ball into the eleventh row.


10:38 ET

“If you wanna know who a man is, observe how they behave when alone in a hotel room” -Original

(I got hungry again and am now eating Tostitos scoops and guac.)


10:55 ET

We just got a tornado warning. In Queens, NY. Nope, the climate is just fine.


11:02 ET

The Dog Industrial Complex tries to sell the world that cats are impersonal and stand-offish. Nothing can be further from the truth. I’ve watched this entire game with Bear the Cat lying at my side and Bea the Cat on my lap. Cats are amazing. If you’ve never had one, get one. But they are needy bastards.


Takeaways

  • Javon Wims became the story of the game for the Bears by night’s end. Against poor competition and with a third-string QB, he dominated. I’d be surprised if the Bears don’t move him well up the pecking order in the coming days.
  • The bigger story? The lowering of the helmet personal foul is going to be a nightmare for the league. The refs were lost. The broadcasters were confused. The coaches barely bothered complaining. If this isn’t cleaned up in the next month, “what is a catch” is going to have a new roommate.
  • Good: Michael Burton, Bilal Nichols, Isaiah Irving
  • Bad: Jon Bullard, Bennie Fowler, Chase Daniel

Tagged: , , ,

  • Pat O’Donnell continues to fail pinning teams deep. Can we please see some competition?

    —should’ve signed King

    Fitts has a speed rush. That’s about it. If an OT gets his paws on him, it’s over.

    Lamar Jackson got caught from behind and his leg was going forward. That could’ve been ugly. He won’t survive if he plays like that.

    RRH and Bullard looked good.

    Bush made a great hit that separated the ball from the receiver.

    Ray Lewis is such a windbag.

    “Tony Dungy has no business being in the Hall of Fame” – agree

    Ayers didn’t look awful in returns. was getting up field as a WR – until he got stripped

    Hayden Hurst of the Ravens already looks better than Shaheen did last season, But, vs scrubbs.

    • Johnnywad

      Wasn’t Dungy the first African American HC to win a Super Bowl? All else aside, that gets you in.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “Pat O’Donnell continues to fail pinning teams deep. Can we please see some competition?

      —should’ve signed King”

      Should have kept Tres Way.

  • That Guy

    Fucking in a bar bathroom stall does not sound like “fun.” I’d rather have the couch and cats, and no communicable diseases from the stall or the woman who wanted to fuck in it.

    • BenderMcLugh

      where’s your sense of adventure???

      • Irish Sweetness

        In a locked bedroom with pills and a woman you don’t know ….

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          I should have known the college relationship was over when she wouldn’t fuck me in a public bathroom.

          Well at least the other one.

          I was young.

    • 505Bears

      So…..glory holes are a no go?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Prude.

  • That Guy

    Is it just me, or does the trio of Michael Burton, Bilal Nichols, and Isaiah Irving sound like a roster of C-list guest stars (the relatives of more famous actors) on an episode of Star Trek?

    • Malice Halice

      Isiah did pretty good last night. He made me proud.

    • Sactowns#1

      I though Burton, Nichols and Irving was a accident injury law firm in Gelndale.

      • John F

        Dewey, Cheatham and Howe ……….

  • That Guy

    From a good Drew Magary piece in GQ:

    “This rule change represents the NFL’s latest token attempt to make an inherently unsafe game safe enough for critics, class-action lawyers, and potentially skittish Pee-Wee moms. It won’t work, but you already knew that. You also know that this kind of semantic torture has invaded nearly every part of the NFL GameDay experience, from illegal hits to video replays to the formerly simple act of catching the ball, and it’s only going to get worse once Week 1 rolls around and players actually try to abide by these mealy-mouthed edicts.”

    https://www.gq.com/story/the-nfl-isnt-ready-for-how-big-of-a-disaster-this-season-will-be/amp?__twitter_impression=true

    • AlbertInTucson

      Magary has started this year’s WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS on Deadspin.

  • Big Mike

    I was looking at some older columns. The writing was better.

  • BerwynBomber

    Was anyone else a tad unimpressed by Lamar Jackson’s open field ability? When I first saw guys like Vick, Mariotta, Kapernick, even Vince Young, their college speed seemed to translate almost entirely intact to the pro game.

    Jackson? He’d break contain, have ten yards of open field in front of him, and just as suddenly two or three Bears third-stringers would be closing in on him.

    Hey, it is only one pre-season game. He could look like Vick 2.0 the very next preseason game. But were I a Ravens fan I would be a little concerned.

    • Malice Halice

      I left by the 2nd quarter. I can’t wait to see Irving again! N our FB! Benny shouldn’t play anymore I think he was pretty decent.

    • Yeah, I thought he would look faster. Vick and RG3 looked faster to me their rook years.
      But this could also mean that Lamar was just a bit hesitant right now, which is to be expected in his first action

      • SC Dave

        Or didn’t realize he has to go balls out all the time or DEs will catch him.
        This is the big league.

      • BerwynBomber

        Yeah, I wondered that too. If he is holding back, saving it … but the only problem with that theory is that slowing up invited hits. Can’t imagine that would be part of the plan.

        Anyway, seems to warrant some monitoring going forward. Is it a real thing or just some one game explanation?

  • Malice Halice

    Any praise for our K? He made 3 last night I don’t how far they were tho. Gotta be worth something tho right?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Kickers don’t deserve praise. They are supposed to make kicks.

      • KentuckyBearsFan

        I think O’Donnell was better than our pass rush two years ago. He can lift a ton, for a kicker.

    • The Bears went for it on a 4rth cuz it would’ve been a long FG.

      I actually would’ve liked to see the long FG to figure out if we need a new kicker or not.
      Bears failed to convert, naturally.

      • SC Dave

        ? The conversion was a 2 point try.

        Which was a great idea. No on e wants OT in preseason.

        Do they even have it?

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      I still have this in my head.

      “Baaaaarth!”

    • David

      He really only made 1 FG the other was an Extra Point. I am also not sure what people are complaining about with O’Donnell. He averaged 57 yards per punt on several attempts in the HOF game.

  • Thompson Way

    Lamarr Houston is still a free agent…Pace…hint, hint, nudge, nudge.

    • David

      The Bears had 8 sacks in the HOF game. I believe Fangio will call a much more aggressive defense dialing up more complex schemes and blitzing the Nickel back, ILB, or Safety more than what we are used to seeing since he has been with Chicago. As Fox handcuffed the offense the past couple of years he also handcuffed the Defense as well with his ultra conservative ways. Now Fangio can be Fangio without Fox stepping on his toes. Even with mostly backups this past game playing he was calling the defense like he I remember him doing when at SF. I am not only expecting to see improvement from the Defense this year because we have mostly all the same guys playing in an already good defense but I also think we will see a much more aggressively called defense this year as well.

  • Sactowns#1

    My lady has two cats and I LOATH them. Sure, one of them is sweet but its not even close to being worth all of the destruction they cause. Hair everywhere in my house, I mean EVERYWHERE. A room dedicated to their litter boxes and cat tree, claw marks on two of the couches, being awoken at all hours of the night by some random noises caused by the cats. If I could get rid of them today I would.

    • John F

      If I could get rid of them today I would.

      Sometimes you forget to close the front door all the way ………..

    • David

      I have some ideas. Some humane and some not so. Cats not for me. I am a dog person 100%

  • leftcoastdave

    I must be weird or something, but I really enjoyed the game. From the team building perspective, there is tape for Tru to watch and many on the cusp got valuable game experience.
    Anybody else notice Bullard was playing NT most of the game? I think this bodes well for more rotation in the D line and more rest for Hicks and Goldman. Also liked seeing Irving and Fitts playing hard as were Hall and DHC, but what happened to Toliver?
    Yes, I’m ready for some (more) football and that was a pleasant Thursday night with chips, salsa, guac, burger and BEER.

    • Sactowns#1

      Defense looks like its got lots of depth as does our RB position.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        Depth at RB position? We should have drafted Fournette last year and traded up for Barkley this year, along with Howard.

        • Sactowns#1

          Cunningham looks really good.

        • willbest

          I see HBP has gone full Irish. Never go full Irish

          • That Guy

            You sir, get all the blog-points today. Huzzah.

        • David

          Crazy. Howard can do everything (and more thus far) than Fournette can. They are the same style runner. Drafting Fournette last year at #3 would have been insane not to mention drafting Barkley on top of that. We have plenty of other weaker positions to fill out. This isn’t the NFL of the 1970s.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            LOL. Inside joke, I was trolling Irish, he loves RBs

    • David

      Toliver has a LONG way to go. I see him as Practice squad. He just doesn’t have any type of consistency at all and that was one of the reasons he wasn’t drafted. That doesn’t seem to have changed.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Irish’s Friday thought:

    Occasionally in the shower I’ll have an original thought whilst failing to rub one out after work ….

    If there was a sudden plate shift between the North American plate and the African plate … the ensuing tsunami would drown everyone in the Netherlands, which is completely below sea-level.

    Kicke, as they say in Holland.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “Tony Dungy has no business being in the Hall of Fame.”.

    I didn’t even realize he was nor do I understand why it is.

    • John F

      Anyone who can turn the Tampa Bay Bucs into a consistent winner and playoff team is easily a hall of famer. People forget how absolutely awful the Bucs were for 25 years before he got there. They were the Browns before we had the current Browns, but much worse for a much longer period of time.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Went out to dinner instead.

    Then had to tune out sections scrimmage after I got home because Ray Lewis Kept popping up or being referenced or idolized.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “… fucking in bathroom stalls…”

    Uh, no, thank you.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Prude

      • willbest

        But STD free

      • AlbertInTucson

        Name calling.

        Brilliant come back. (sarcasm)

        Also wrong.

  • willbest

    I feel like this was written by Waldorf, three years after Statler died.

    • BerwynBomber

      Seemed like a failed attempt at one of Bill Simmons’ running diary pieces.

      P.S. Ever since Simmons went full truther on Deflategate I quit him, but some of his NBA draft diary pieces were classic. True LOL quality stuff, which is probably hard as hell to do.

      • KentuckyBearsFan

        ESPN used to be a murderers row with Hunter S Thompson, Watson, Simmons, and others.

        They completely ruined it afterwards.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “Is there a more disingenuous human being than Ray Lewis with his god bullshit? You probably murdered a guy, Ray. Fuck off.”

    We approve this message.

  • The way I judge PS is by this simple question: who do I want to see more?
    WImms def wins that.
    Others. Ayers. He had a quiet 6 catches or something, and he PRs.
    Irving, RRH, Nichols and Bush would like to see more of too.

    Nall didn’t look like anything special

    • SC Dave

      I’d like to see Nall get a few plays with the 2nd string.

  • KentuckyBearsFan

    I only caught the game starting in the 4th quarter.

    Have any idea how meaningless watching the last quarter of a preseason game is?

    Glad I had book with me at the bar.

  • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

    what the fuck are they doing to the NFL?
    Where was the penalty on the picture perfect shoulder to ball hit in the endzone to knock it loose? Is the player supposed to let him just catch it? he didn’t use his head at all, it was a perfect fucking hit. I just don’t understand this defenseless receiver rule.
    I’m currently deciding how much I will endure before I just turn it off. That kind of call has no place in the game of football.

    • Yeah, I don’t get it. I also noticed that during the HOF player montage, they didn’t show a lot of the big hits that Dawkins delivered. That dude blew up a lot of players coming across the middle. They’re trying to white wash even the history of the big hit for PR purposes.

      Even dumbfuck Collinsworth remarked ‘what is he supposed to do? he’s not a contortionist’

      I keep asking myself the same question. When am I gonna call it quits…

      I’ll probably stop watching the NFL casually. One Sunday I’ll say, “You know what? I’m hitting the beach”

      Then another Sun will come, and my TV won’t even be on, and a season will pass by, then 5, then 10, then one day I’ll turn on the holographic TV on my cell, and I won’t even recognize the game.

      • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

        from the insane catch rules…
        to the sheer gangbang of commercials…
        to the running of the clock so they won’t have to cut some commercials and still keep the overall game time down
        to the need to have a fucking guy in the booth to explain rules/infractions….
        to penalizing defenders making plays on the ball to stop the offense from moving the chains and scoring….
        I’m virtually done with this game. Because I cut the cord at home I missed a bunch of home games last year on local Channel 2 which is not supported using an antenna. I was frustrated at first but then was surprised that I didn’t really miss it that much.
        I wanted to be excited but the Smith holdout and the refs and rules fucking up the game almost immediately off the fucking bat last night. I’m all but done. We’ll see how I feel next week.

        PS – I also turned down free tickets twice last year….

        • David

          Antenna ? What is this Antenna thing you speak of ?

      • David

        Nobody is forcing you to watch it now.

    • willbest

      If baseball can figure out how to get the pitcher and batter to not fuck around between every pitch, it would probably be my sport of choice at this point, since it’s rules allow the least amount of fuckery by the officials.

      • I would like to like hockey, but it’s impossible to watch on TV

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          hockey is better with HDTV. I don’t understand how anyone watched it with the old crappy televisions.

          • Sactowns#1

            Thats why Fox attached a laser to the puck for a season or two. It was hilarious!

          • Was that when they put like a yellow glow on the puck, so it looked like they were smacking around a radioactive mouse or something?

          • KentuckyBearsFan

            god that was so stupid to see.

          • Sactowns#1

            Like all Rupert Murdoch ideas, it was terrible. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FoxTrax

          • AlbertInTucson

            Better, but STILL doesn’t translate that well.

        • willbest

          Hockey, gets my respect for having a penalty for being a pussy. But it is hard to watch on tv

        • Johnnywad

          We took my son to a game this winter where he’ll be attending college this fall. It’s a really solid program with a handful of NHL draft picks playing on the team. I’m not a hockey guy, but that game was WAY more fun in person than anything I’ve seen on TV. The student section is full and belligerent. They really get after the opponent’s players. It was a blast.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Baseball replays take too long and this era of pitching change, after pitching change, after pitching changes does nothing to quicken the pace.

        Also, baseball fundamentals in this era, mostly, suck.

        Guys can’t bunt.

        Can’t hit away from those shifts.

        Don’t know how/when to run the bases or how to slide into a base and they think the “cut-off man” is some kind of amputee.

        More strikeouts than base-hits is NOT a healthy trend.

        • SC Dave

          It’s pathetic how bad most modern hitters are, although frequent pitcher changes favor them over batters. Typically, a batter gets at most two chances to see an individual pitcher’s stuff during a game.

          • AlbertInTucson

            It’s why Joe Dimaggio’s 56 game hitting streak is, virtually, untouchable.

            Likewise, pitchers who win 30 games in a season and 300 games in a career are, pretty much, extinct.

          • KentuckyBearsFan

            Denny McLain.

            I read an article about him as a kid when Sports Illustrated was still relevant.

          • SC Dave

            That was 50 years ago, dude.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Same season Bob Gibson had a 1.12 ERA and Carl Yastrzemski won the A.L. batting title with a .301 batting average.

          • KentuckyBearsFan

            yeah. But the article was talking about him in the 1990s.

            I’m not sure but I’m forgetting if he was the guy involved with some kind of mob scam. Maybe somebody else.

          • David

            30 games in a season ? YES.

          • I haven’t watched baseball in a long time. Who’s the last best hitter? Tony Gwinn?
            Jeter?

          • SC Dave

            Altuve looks like a hitter. Three batting titles in 4 years, and 2nd right now.

        • David

          What about the NBA ? Where everyone pulls up to shoot it from half court even during fast breaks ? I was at the Y the other day and stopped to watch a bunch of 13-15ish boys playing basketball in the gym and I swear it was as if they had a rule that they couldn’t shoot inside the paint or better yet the 3 point line. Absolutely no 1 on 1 play. Nobody breaking down their defender. Nobody posting up down low. It was comical. All the kids are influenced by Steph Curry, and James Harden etc. This sport will go down hill fast if things don’t change. I want to think that it’s just a fad but is it really ?

      • David

        Except that every ump calls strikes and balls differently which is a pretty major component of the game. @Other than that there is absolutely no influence@

        • willbest

          Baseball is heading away from that

    • SC Dave

      Don’t know if you saw my comment in the previous article, but I cited that play as one for the sample film to the refs to show them what NOT to call.

    • David

      Since they gave up on the “Catch Rule” the NFL had to implement another rule to be able to keep the game in the hands of the NFL. You know who is going to benefit the most from this rule is the NFL Golden Children: Brady, Rogers, etc. It’s all politics and it’s a bunch of BS. Players need to protest if they decide to continue it after this year. Refs don’t even know how to call it. It will ruin games. Isn’t the goal to take the game OUT of the refs hands as much as possible? Instead they find ways to put the games in the Refs hands. Players know what they are signing up for. They know the risks and yet they still choose to play this game. They get paid handsomely because of the risks involved as well and that is why people love the sport. If they don’t like it they can sell cars, insurance, etc. There aren’t many people out there on the field anymore that are trying to lower their heads to hurt someone anyhow. This due to the fact that the person that is lowering their head is more often than not the one that ends up getting injured. If injury or even paralysis isn’t enough to void this tactic than a penalty certainly won’t.

  • Malice Halice

    Tarik Cohen should produce A LOT of those shitty calls. I don’t know how a guy that’s 6’2 gonna tackle Cohen who’s like 5’8. Short guys are gonna prosperous dis year 4real.

    • SC Dave

      That makes no sense. What makes much more sense is since Cohen is short, he is MORE likely to ‘lead with his head’.

      • Malice Halice

        That’s what I’m sayin. Anybody tryin to tackle Tarik is gonna get flagged cuz he’s too short. If u 6’2 or better u REALLY gotta get low to hit em which is gonna result in a flag or Tarik embarrassing him wit a juke or so.

        • Haha yeah. Defenders better take yoga or something. How the heck are you not supposed to lower your head to tackle when the guy is 5’6 and crouching

          • SC Dave

            Simple. Dont hit him with your helmet.

        • SC Dave

          thats not what im saying. Tarik will be flagged, not the defender

    • David

      Try 5’6″ Cohen. Gabriel is 5’8″ and looks tall next to Cohen.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “If you thought football was going to be easy to watch this season, you were wrong.”

    I don’t think anybody here thought that since Bears football hasn’t been easy to watch for quite some time..

  • AlbertInTucson

    “We just got a tornado warning. In Queens, NY. Nope, the climate is just fine.”

    Fact: Tornadoes can, and do, occur in all 50 states.

    There are more rare in some states, but we ALL get them.

    https://www.loveexploring.com/gallerylist/72436/the-us-states-where-youre-most-and-least-likely-to-see-a-tornado

    If Queens turns into “Tornado Alley, Jr.”, THEN, worry.

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      I went through Hurricane Matthew in NC. Cat 4 or 5.

      We were lucky we didn’t lose power. Only 1 person outside of family showed up for work. We were in the middle of floor renovations.

      It actually went pretty great.

      • AlbertInTucson

        One of the things (besides snow and bitter cold) that I’m willing to trade for dealing with excessive heat in summers here in AZ. is, “No hurricanes”.

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          High winds are like the bitch you never want to see again.

          • AlbertInTucson

            We do get some nasty microbursts during our Monsoon season.

      • David

        But a hurricane is a lot different than a Tornado.

    • willbest

      When low probability events occur, there is a desire to attribute them to something.

      • AlbertInTucson

        “Low Probability Events”: Like Bears wins or winning seasons.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “Cats are amazing. If you’ve never had one, get one.”

    Nothing against them other that I’m allergic to their dander so owning one wouldn’t work.

    Miss having a dog, for sure.

    Looking to rescue a pooch.

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      Isle of Dogs by Wes Anderson is a good movie.

      • KentuckyBearsFan

        A few years ago I was walking in downtown Gainesville and there was a mangy dog with dignity. The fur was bad. He must have not been eating. But that dog had honor.

      • SC Dave

        You don’t watch dogs very closely, do you?

        • John F

          Yeah ….. “sensible” is not usually a word associated with dogs ……..

          • KentuckyBearsFan

            okay…maybe my sentiment is because of an exceptional dog.

            Just like my sentiments with exceptional people.

            (about as rare.)

    • John F

      If you go looking for a dog at a rescue place you will definitely get one – so be prepared to come home with a new friend.

      • AlbertInTucson

        We just need to find one with some know history like good with kids and good with other dogs.

        • John F

          Hard to not get one when they make eye contact though ……..

    • Malice Halice

      I went to Chicago to my first pup Great Pyrenees he just turnt 1 a few weeks ago. Much funner than cats but cats are way more independent, I look at cats as if their live-furniture.

      • Sactowns#1

        Live furniture that will destroy all of your other furniture.

        • AlbertInTucson

          Yeah, we are not looking to go thru “puppyhood’ any more. Plenty a great adult dogs around that need a home.

          • Sactowns#1

            Thats good. My best dogs have all been rescue dogs. You’ll make some little dogie very happy and her or she will be eternally grateful.

      • AlbertInTucson

        THAT dog should come with a free saddle.

        • John F

          Height: Male: 28–32 inches, Female: 26–29 inches

          Weight: Male: 110–120 lbs, Female: 80–90 lbs

        • David

          Had a Blue Great Dane named Kaskade. could rest his chin with his head level on the kitchen counter. Could lick water out of the running kitchen faucet and weighed an even 160 but was still lean. My 2 year old would literally fall asleep laying on top of him like a bed. Unfortunately we had to put him down last year after getting Bloat. Nasty Nasty illness. Was perfectly fine when we went out at 5pm and when we came back at 10PM seemed ill and threw up a couple of times. The next day he was drooling profusely and we could tell something was really wrong. Took him to the vet and they said his stomach twisted. It’s common in big dogs like Great Danes unfortunately. Was fine one minute and had to put him down within 24 hours. They could have performed surgery but the cost was anywhere between 4k – 6k$ and he wasn’t guaranteed to make it. Luckily enough my son who was his best friend didn’t understand losing something yet so he didn’t take it too bad. It was really rough for my wife and I. Especially my wife who hand picked him as a 20 pound 8 week puppy.

  • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

    with NFL football now becoming a serious joke i’m going to turn to the only pure, undiluted sport left….middle school bare knuckle boxing in Mississippi.

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      I remember living in Jackson.

    • David

      I played that sport as well. We called it Fight Club.

  • Johnnywad

    Completely off topic, but what the hell is with so many young parents letting their kids just talk over them? Or worse yet, continually hit them while the parents just pretend it’s not happening and carry on a conversation. I can’t believe how many times I’ve seen it in the last year. Mine are 16 and 18 so. I don’t feel that far removed from this age. They’re raising serial killers.

    • SC Dave

      It’s crazy.

    • willbest

      You have to yell and hit a lot of adults for they take their eyes off their phone

  • leftcoastdave

    Do they still write about, or comment on football on Da’ Bears Blog?

    Hell, compared to today’s offerings from El Jeffe and the contributors I think I would prefer politics.

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      it’s preseason. everything should flip in a month. or as soon as Roquan signs. damn it.

    • JAB

      I think it will change once the bears become relevant again. I’ve been on and off the past couple years since there’s nothing to look forward to. I think there could be now, at least the start of something.

      • KentuckyBearsFan

        Like someone said months ago, technically….it’s Packer Week.

  • KentuckyBearsFan

    “Name a cover better than the original.”

    It’s not a contest. Covers are homages. Unless you suck, then it’s a disgrace.

    The obvious better one is Hendrix covering Bob Dylan on All Along The Watchtower, which even Dylan said was better than the original.

    I’m listening to a cover of The Sound of Silence right now. It’s way too theatrical and exaggerated. But it’s not awful. Why? ….because I haven’t thought of the song in a while now, and it reminds me of the original.

    • leftcoastdave

      Miles Davis doing Love for Sale and that says a lot. Lady Day sang it from her heart.

    • David

      Even Dave Matthews version of All Along the WatchTower. Gets me pumped every time I hear it. Same song same lyrics but sounds nothing the same. And to answer your question again I would say Guns N Roses – Knockin on Heaven’s Door.

  • BerwynBomber

    Was never a fan of the Chase Daniels signing and stated my reason why almost immediately after they signed him. It signaled to me that the upcoming season is more about Bisky’s development than winning games. No team is looking at Chase Daniels and thinking “yeah, he can win some crucial games for us if our #1 goes down.”

    In the large scheme of things, choosing Bisky’s development as the primary objective might be wise, but the length of Pace’s leash is become questionable. What are we waiting for? Seven or eight years before he produces a single average Angelo season? (Note: Angelo was 95-81 during his 11 year tenure, which averages out to a little under 9 wins per season.)

    Btw, C. Daniels aside, I liked Pace’s offseason, both in FA and the draft. In some cases, it seemed terrific.

    But Bisky needing another mentor seemed redundant.

    A guy like Drew Stanton, who very well might end up cut or on the PS is MILES more accomplished/better than Daniels. Get a guy like him if u want the graybeard mentor dude.

    Daniels? Never a fan of it.

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      backups are backups for a reason.

      The probability of a second-stringer winning the team a Super Bowl are improbable.

      (it should have happened with Orton. This will happen as soon as I get my time machine fixed. First Orton, and then I’m taking out Shitler.)

      • BerwynBomber

        That’s a very simple-minded statement, especially after last year.

        You caught what PHI and MIN did, right?

        And btw, it’s not like Bisky is a lock to carry this team anyway. If anything, I would put my money on Howard and the D being our strengths.

        A decent game-managing back-up might be able to win a few with that template if needed. Daniels has never proven he is a decent back-up.

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          good point. Folesdelphia.

          It’s been so long since the playoffs for the Bears that I forget that seasons can turn on a dime.

          The odds are against anything like that happening again like what happened with the Eagles last year…or at least with the quarterback history of the Chicago Bears.

          • BerwynBomber

            And apologies for seeming to go off on you. I was just trying to make the point that there are different degrees of back-ups, just as there are different degrees of starters (at every position).

            Even before he became an improbable MVP candidate, Case Keenum was one of the better back-ups in the league.

            Sure, if you’re the Cheese, and Rodgers goes down, you’re fucked. But Bisky? I’m not sure a quality back-up couldn’t give us near replacement level play in his stead.

            And in regard to another mentor (after Sanchez last year), I kinda thought Nagy himself would make that somewhat unnecessary.

          • KentuckyBearsFan

            nothing you said was irrational, so I was not offended in any way.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Colin Kaepernick would be a decent backup.

  • JAB

    Who thinks Urban Meyer should keep his job?

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      what did he do besides hire an amoral assistant?

      And I hate Urban Liar.

    • willbest

      So from what I can tell, the police investigated the two incidents in 2015 of possible domestic violence and declined to charge. Which to my mind absolves him of anything related to those incidents, unless he got the police to back off.

      He owes no duty to that woman, and sure as shit isn’t required to take her side in their domestic dispute.

      Now it’s possible this is a breach of his contract with OSU, but whether its a termination level offense is unknown, and given the circumstances seems like the type of thing a good lawyer would protect him against

      • David

        If he knew and didn’t bring to authorities then he should be fired. In the position that he is in with the influence that he has on that team, school, and college football itself it is unacceptable to keep someone coaching your team that beats his wife the way the stories have stated. That is just bad leadership and puts a bad stain on the University that you work for. I don’t care how good of a coach he is. I see this getting so much negative PR and the media running with it to the point of no return. I don’t think that Ohio State really has much of a choice from a moral standpoint.

        • willbest

          What is your definition of knowing?

          If my wife told me the wife of an employee told her that my employee abused her, but hasn’t filed police reports, my first thought would be that this woman is setting up her divorce strategy.

          If she has filed police reports, and the police fail to arrest, as happened in this situation, I would think the same thing.

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