178 Comments

A Frothy Pint of Optimism.

| March 26th, 2018

There’s no way of knowing if Mitch Trubisky is going to be the starting quarterback of the Chicago Bears for the next decade plus. But he could be.

There’s no way of knowing if Matt Nagy is fifteen years away from opening a fish restaurant in the Drake Hotel’s old Cape Cod Room space. But he could be.

There’s no way of knowing if the men chosen to improve the league’s worst collection of pass catchers in 2017 – Robinson, Gabriel, Burton – will be the right ones. But they could be.

There’s no way of knowing if the Bears will be playing meaningful football games in December 2018. But they could be.

And why would any fan choose to believe anything else?

Optimism in sports is a perfectly-poured pint of Guinness, served with the harp facing OUT. It’s frothy. It’s delicious. Every time you lift the glass to your lips you think, “this is going to be the one that gets everything right.” And most mortals drinking “the dark stuff” – much like those overly optimistic – omit a noxious plume that those within a five-foot radius find…disconcerting.



Realism is a glass of water. You need it but there’s nothing fun about it. People keep trying to make water fun with coconuts and cucumber slices but you still end up with fucking water. It’s good for you and nothing good for you tastes good. Every eat an unsalted almond? Rice cake? Spinach is delicious…after oil, garlic and lemon get into the mix.

But folks who drink too much a lot of Guinness know a secret. At the end of the night, when you’re about to go to sleep, you drink a quart of water. Slam it. Your head thanks you the next morning. The water balances the booze, hydration-wise. It’s okay to be optimistic but you have to mix in the realism on Saturday night for brain sustainability on Sunday morning.

That’s the appropriate way to approach the 2018 Chicago Bears. There are reasons why it’s logical for this club to be competing for a postseason position in December.

  • They have one of the league’s best defenses.
  • Their non-division roads games are at the Giants, Niners, Cardinals, Bills and Dolphins. Can’t be many teams with an easier slate.
  • The offense will be much, much better. (I typed the phrase “by default” but it won’t be by default. It will be by the acquisition of talent and improvement of the quarterback.)

But it’s also fair to temper some of this enthusiasm.

  • The Vikings are still expected to have a better defense and are all-in on their title hunt.
  • The Packers are expected to have the league’s best QB for sixteen games.
  • Sure, the Lions are the Lions but the Bears have also been the Lions the last four years.

A “wait and see” approach is more than acceptable but try writing a column about it.

“The Bears haven’t had a winning season since Lovie Smith was their head coach…”

“Trubisky is still unproven…”

“Blahbedy blah fucking blah…”

Instead, why not enjoy a frothy pint of optimism? Believe this Bears team is going to be better in 2018. Believe they are going to play meaningful football games late into the season. It’s okay! But don’t forget to mix in that quart of realism. Stay away from using the words “Super” and “Bowl” together. (Honestly, you should stay away from using the word “super” altogether.)

Optimism, of course, comes with the possibility of disappointment. But who wants to go through life expecting nothing just to avoid disappointment? That’s a coward’s life. Expecting things from these players and coaches in 2018. The folks cutting the checks at Halas Hall surely will.

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  • SC Dave

    Given that Guinness is at best mediocre, it would seem that 8-8 is about the pinnacle of optimism.

    Perhaps it would be better to have some water, with a steaming bowl of super chowder from that Cape Cod Room?

    • George Hotchkiss

      Your opinion on guinness is your opinion. I am a lover of the darker and stouter brews and I find Guinness to be a solid beer. That is of course my opinion…

      • SC Dave

        That’s why there are so many beers in the world.

      • catfish44

        Killian’s red ale is better.

  • ButtonShoes

    “And why would any fan choose to believe anything else?”

    Gee, I dunno. How about recent Bears history? Like over the past quarter-century, just for starters?

    “Instead, why not enjoy a frothy pint of optimism?”

    You go ahead and do that! Have fun! I will admit that you sure do a good job of ignoring all of the copious amounts of failure we’ve had to endure as Bears fans, Jeff. No one has bigger blinders when it comes to this team than you do. Well those of us who embrace realism just aren’t interested in Lucy pulling the football away from us again. Personally, I’ve had enough of that. I’ll embrace optimism when there’s real reason to be optimistic. No more pie-in-the-sky hopes. I want results. Like the Bears winning lots and lots of games. And beating the Fudgies into green-and-yellow pulp. Repeatedly. I want the Peckers to weep and piss their pants when they see us step into Shithole Field Lambeau Field or themselves have to go into Soldier Field. Now that will make me optimistic.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Are you a beat writer for the Bears?

      • John F

        IDK, most of the stories I see for the Bears are puff pieces that make excuses for their poor play, tell the reader how everyone is SO excited about how they are gonna do better next week, and then how excited everyone should be for next year when those young players will “blossom” into good players (even though they were clueless and made all kinds of mistakes that year).

        Lather.Rinse.Repeat ……… year after year ………….

        • ButtonShoes

          We only have to go back a year to find articles talking about how Kendall Wright and Markus Wheaton were going to defy expectations and make everyone forget about losing Alshon for nothing. Or people saying how Mike Glennon was going to be so good that he would be here for a year, and then we’d trade him for a high pick in the draft, all while Trubisky learned from him. Or how Quintin Demps, Marcus Cooper, and Prince were going to fix the secondary completely. Or how Roy-Robertson Harris and Nick Kwiatkowski were going to emerge as key parts of the front 7. There’s always this unwarranted optimism every Bears season despite all evidence to the contrary. I honestly don’t know where it comes from.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          you are reading the wrong Chicago paper, go to the other Chicago paper for the doom and gloom.

      • ButtonShoes

        Nope! But I am a fan of those who have a pessimistic view of this team. Because that’s the honest take.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          To each his own, but if I had such a pessimistic view of a team I would not be wasting time bitching about them here unless I was getting paid to, or even bother with them until they got better.

    • Dude, I feel your pain but Bears were pathetic for years. Then Jim Finks and Ditka came on and then 1985.
      It fees like we have forward thinking NFL people in charge. A bit of optimism is warranted. Besides, it’s more fun to be optimistic.

  • leftcoastdave

    Jeff, good write. Like the subtle delving into psychology.

    Was that glass half full, or half empty?

    • SC Dave

      Probably started out pretty full, and optimism rose as the last glass approached empty.

    • Bobby Douglass

      As an engineer, glasses are always full.

    • Irish Sweetness

      That glass has a pissy looking head in it, that’s all I see.

  • leftcoastdave

    I enjoyed this article on draft capital, the creation of which I expect da Bears to be focusing upon more in the future the good way, not the bad way (ie., losing).

    http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/22910519/teams-most-least-2018-nfl-draft-capital-cleveland-browns-most-valuable-picks

  • Ron Rago

    OK…but to clear the record…you said the Bears haven’t had a winning season since Lovie was the head coach. That is incorrect…Mark Trestman’s first year record was 13-3…last time I checked…that was a winning record in the NFL. I’m just sayin’…

    • George Hotchkiss

      You might want to check that record again…

    • CanadaBear

      You didn’t stick the landing.

    • Bear Instincts

      2013 (8-8) – 2nd NFC North
      2014 (5-11) – 4th NFC North

      I appreciate your optimism thought

    • John F

      Are you grading on a curve?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Which record book are you looking at? He was 8-8

      • John F

        CFL?

    • Irish Sweetness

      When the fuck were we 13-3?

      • CanadaBear

        The miracle year under Jauron.

  • Bear Instincts

    https://mobile.twitter.com/AllenRobinson/status/978011433341521920/photo/1
    Allen Robinson in a Bears uniform….this is not a drill

  • CanadaBear

    Jeff it’s not just Guinness drinkers that know about the water at bedtime. Most drinkers know that one. The fatal flaw with that procedure is when you are really, really fucked up, you never remember the water (when you most need it). I’ll raise an iced tea for optimism this year. I actually have some!

    • BenderMcLugh

      clean off those rose colored glasses my man

      • CanadaBear

        I know! It feels good to actually have some optimism. Foxy/Nathan Lane killed any that I had the last 2 years. Really excited to see a modern offense!

  • George Hotchkiss

    I am skeptical until I am not…I get the optimism, but I am a see it to believe it kind of guy. If he injury bug strikes, all bets are off. We are assuming players coming off of injuries will be productive, a big if. Adding free agents in numbers is dicey. Counting on the draft to generate productive players, is risky, Assuming Trubisky makes a substantial leap is just that, a leap. IMy gut feeling is the Bears will be less embarrassing, but I look at 2019 to be the breakout year. Last year was no great shakes, but at least we won a few at home. Progress.

    • SC Dave

      It would be nice to at least get to a winning home record for the first time in half a decade.

      • Bear Instincts

        Barring some unforseen injury to the core players this teams floor is 8-8 and if our talent exceeds expectation we will be playing meaningful games Dec to Feb

        • John F

          Q.) When was the last time the bears didn’t have an “unforseen injury to the core players”?

          A.) 2006

  • BerwynBomber

    No reason why we can’t be the second best team in the division and in serious WC hunt.

    MIN is a bridge too far. They should be one of the top 3 teams in the entire league and anything short of an SB appearance will be a disappointment. They didn’t pay Cousins a king’s ransom only to take them where Keenum did.

    GB is all about one player. He’s one MFer of a player but that is never enough in the NFL. Had they addressed their CB issues in the offseason (and/or fired McCarthy) I’d be more worried. But instead they again blew their wad on a TE. This one is not only aging but can’t block.

    DET had a nice little thing going with Caldwell. Two post-season trips in three years and even 9-7 last year when they didn’t make it. (All while losing two huge talents — Megatron and Suh — when he got there. Kinda impressive, IMO.) But being the Lions they of course fired Caldwell. Who knows, maybe Patricia is the goods, but I can’t help but think their decision is destined for the deep, rich history of DET boneheaded moves.

    So one superb team and two highly questionable teams.

    And this is the fourth year of Pace. 6-10 or 7-9 with Bisky taking baby steps will piss me off.

    We have a top half of the league (if not top 10) D. Our O skill guys will stack up nicely against any of those in the division. We seem to have landed our best K since Robbie.

    Fuck signs of improvement. I want serious playoff contender status.

    • Dis Guy Trublinsky (Johnnywad)

      Vikings are clearly the class of the division. But I’m not yet sold that Cousins will put up the numbers, (particularly TOs) that Keenum just did. If they have a soft spot, that might be it.

      • BerwynBomber

        Yeah, gimme Wentz (healthy) and PHI over Cousins and MIN but I don’t think that will be how MIN will see it. You don’t blow that type of cash just to get where a journeyman/back-up took you.

        Btw, LAR went all-in on FA. Marcus Peters. Aqib Talib. They seem like another “anything but the SB will be a bust” team.

        Right now in no particular order it’s NE, PHI, MIN and LAR as the top four teams. NE actually lost some significant guys in FA but gotta trust Belichick to develop the nobodies and Brady to be his usual unstoppable self.

        • Dis Guy Trublinsky (Johnnywad)

          I felt like Goff and that offense got exposed a bit. Let’s see what another year does for him. I’m definitely thinking Philly and Min above the Rams still. Though any progression from Goff makes that a photo finish for me.

          • BerwynBomber

            Agreed. I also think ATL and DAL should be formidable teams. I’ve never been the biggest Ice fan but ATL impressed me last year in clawing their way back to the post-season and then beating the Rams and almost killing the Foles fairytale in its infancy.

          • John F

            The Rams had a new offense, so it took about 2/3rds of a season before opponents had enough tape to defend what they were doing. Probably a good reason why the Rams will have fewer wins next year.

    • catfish44

      aaron rodgers………still the biggest reason for not being second best team in the division.

    • CanadaBear

      It will be interesting to see if Graham is a net positive for them. Nothing against the guy but he’s had incredible luck when it comes to QB’s. Two sure-fire HOF’ers and another that might be.

      • BerwynBomber

        Good point. Graham has been extremely blessed in that department.

        He might be okay, but when your team gives up an average of 36 points in Rodgers’ playoff losses, I don’t get the reason for dumping so much money in an O position.

        Their Wilkerson deal seemed smarter. A one year prove it deal for a guy who could boost their D.

  • Adam Truelove

    “The Packers are expected to have the league’s best QB for sixteen games.”

    Wait, the Packers have Tom Brady now?

    • BerwynBomber

      Thought the same. But Rodgers is no worse than top two or three. Or at least was in the past.

      P.S. not sure it is a given he comes back as the same old Rodgers after that shoulder injury.

  • willbest

    Oh FFS, is there any LEGAL activity the FBI is competent at?

    ” Lawyers for the Pulse nightclub shooter’s widow said Monday that the
    government has revealed that his father had been an FBI informant for
    11 years before the attack. Prosecutors told them in an email
    that the government found evidence on the day of the attack that Omar
    Mateen’s father, Seddique Mateen, had been sending money to Afghanistan
    and Turkey, possibly to fund violent insurrection against the government
    of Pakistan.”

    https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/26/pulse-club-gunmans-dad-was-an-fbi-informant-lawyers-for-shooters-widow-say.html

    • John F

      “is there any activity the government is competent at”

      fixed it for you ……..

  • John F

    “But who wants to go through life expecting nothing just to avoid disappointment?”

    Uh, the pessimism isn’t to avoid disappointment. It’s been kinda hard not to avoid disappointment these last 25 years:

    Wannstedt (41-55, 0.489)
    Jauron (35-45, 0.438)
    Smith (81-63, 0.563)
    Trestman (13-19, 0.406)
    Fox (14-34, 0.292)

    Take out 2005 and 2006 and Smith has a 0.489 winning percentage – same as Wannstedt’s. And people need to remember, if the Bears hadn’t won the first game in 2010 due to the “didn’t complete the catch” rule that was applied to Calvin Johnson, they wouldn’t have even made the playoffs that year.

    The Bears have had new offenses, new defenses, new players, new coaches, new stadiums, new facilities and nothing seems to change………..

    • willbest

      Your statement on 2010 didn’t sound right because at 11-5 they ended up with the #2 seed so that is a pretty big tumble for 1 loss. But then I pulled up the standings for that year and realized the Bears tied on H2H, division, common games, conference, and would be forced into using a strength of victory tie-breaker and the Bears feasted on the bottom of the league that year.

      I would however note, there is no telling how the week 17 game at Lambeau would have turned out if the Bears, who were locked into the #2 seed prior to the game, were instead fighting for the division and their playoff lives.

      • John F

        there is no telling how the week 17 game at Lambeau would have turned out

        Have you watched the Bears/Packers games for the last 25 years?

    • Dis Guy Trublinsky (Johnnywad)

      LOL. “If you just pull out their good seasons and that one game they won due to a rule discrepancy in an 11-5 season……”

      Good stuff. Belongs right up there with “If you take out all of his long runs, his average sucks….”

  • CanadaBear

    Just read where McMannis was re-signed for 2 years. Good to have the lead dog on ST’s back in the fold.

    • I’m hoping w a new coaching staff , specials can be special again. .
      K cant be worse. McMannis and Bellamy are as good on specials as they are bad at everything else.
      The two question marks are at KR-PR.

      Will Nagy be satisfied w Benny? He doesn’t fuck up at KR, but neither is he electric
      Mocha Ninja is a gamble at PR. One of those no-no-no-go-go-go types.

      Will Nagy prefer a more consistent option? ( also saving Cohen for more RB duty)

      I don’t know why they brought Odonell back.
      But i guess tha McClaren aint gonna pay itself

      • EnderWiggin

        LeBlank and Cohen both are OK on returns, in my opinion.

      • Irish Sweetness

        We have to swap out Benny for somebody else. I don’t see what he gives us. Jordan, yes, Tarik, yes. What does Benny do?

  • 6 wins

    • ButtonShoes

      That’s where I’d put them. It takes time to learn and execute a new offense. More than a season, usually.

      • John F

        They’ll finally learn it in Trubisky’s last year of his rookie contract, he’ll sign a $40/year extension, then they’ll fire Nagy ………

        • Bear Instincts

          The salary cap will be 1 billion
          by then making 40mil a year seem like chicken change

          • willbest

            Unless the NFL gets all of China and India hooked on their product that seems unlikely. And if the viewership decline of the last couple years doesn’t level off, the Bears will be negotiating Trubisky’s new contract right about the time the Networks are telling the NFL to lower their price or sod off.

          • John F

            I think where it’s going is that Amazon or Google or Facebook will offer them a crapload of money for streaming and the NFL will eventually cut out the networks and the money will go straight from the consumer to the NFL, with the streaming services getting a 10% cut.

      • Bear Instincts

        All the more reason for the first 2 pick to be on defense so they can become Monsters of the Midway since they will carry the team until GOATrubisky and company get the hang of Nagy’s offense

        • ButtonShoes

          Yup. Defense, defense, defense. I’d go defense with the first 3 picks.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      You keep making the same typo. You forgot the 1 in front. Does you ‘1’ key work? Maybe you need a new keyboard.

      • Bear Instincts

        Candidate for post of the year

      • Irish Sweetness

        One of the orphans Butch adopted has pulled the ‘1’ key off his keyboard, yes.

  • Bob Doll

    I’ve been in “wait and see” mode for several years…this one is no different in that regard. What IS different is the QB position. We have also seemingly assembled a fairly talented group of coaches and maintained continuity on the defensive side of the ball. Too much has to go right for the Bears to transform into a powerhouse, but there is no reason to believe the offense will look like a bonafide 21st century offense…not a league-leading one, but not a basement-dweller either. One day, it could even be this season, the Bears will stay above average in health of players…the law of averages demands it at some point…we’re waiting!

    • John F

      McCaskey Incompetence > The Law of Averages

      • Bob Doll

        My fear always has been that what you stated is true…the perennially bad teams are bad for a reason…bad leadership and in family-owned business’ the family does not fire themselves…I have found in my own work experience with family-owned business’ that their view of the role of a business and its objectives to be quite different than from business’ owned by shareholders.

        • John F

          I just always look for an opportunity to use the “greater-than” sign …… also, you are probably right …….

  • Just watched “7” again (boy, i dont think i can watch Spacey shit again the same)
    Jeff’s article reminds me of a young peppy Pitt charging to save world.
    And I’m now that grizzly detective about ready to check out.

    Naturally, that movie ends like most Bear seasons. Gruesomly.
    And the enthused fan is left like Pit. Destroyed and shell shocked.

    Hemingway once said, ‘ the world is a fine place and worth fighting for’…well, at least I agree w the 2nd part…”

    Fade to Bear black…

    • John F

      You should watch some old film noir’s – Maltese Falcon, Double Indemnity – or a modern one, L.A. Confidential (if you haven’t already).

      • Been meaning to watch more Noir. Maltese Falcon def on the list. There’s prob a bunch of 40’s French ones some film major can inform me about.
        Loved L.A. Confidential.
        Always thought Usual Suspects kinda Noir-y

        • John F

          I promise you, Double Indemnity (1944) is absolutely outstanding. It has Fred McMurray as the male lead – the My Three Sons TV show dad (if you are old enough to remember that) – so you kinda have to get past the My Three Sons thing if you remember that role. Barbara Stanwyck, the female lead, is even better. Plus Edward G. Robinson as a bonus.

          But I guarantee you will love that movie – or double your money back!!

          P.S. Do Not do any research on the movie, just watch it.

          • Coolio. Will check it out.
            SC-AL? Made a list of some classic flicks too which i copy pasted.
            There’s this pretty cool video store w all that ( yeah, rare) so might pop in and browse their noir section.
            Make sure to see if they have those u mentioned

          • John F

            If that video store does not have Double Indemnity (or any of the other movies listed in this thread) you are authorized to set fire to the store.

          • AlbertInTucson

            MacMurray is even cast MORE against his “My 3 Sons / Absent Minded Professor” nice guy type in THE CAINE MUTINY (Lt. Kiefer) and THE APARTMENT.(Mr. Shelldrake).

        • CanadaBear

          Maltese Falcon is an all-time fave. I’ve seen it at least a dozen times. The Big Sleep is also great. Check out this list of Robert Mitchum films. Lots of noir there esp from the 50’s.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mitchum_filmography

          • AlbertInTucson

            Love Mitchum as Jeff Bailey in OUT OF THE PAST.

            Who knew Jane Greer (Kathie) was such a hottie?

            Ann (Virginia Huston): “She (Kathie) can’t be all bad. No one is”.
            Jeff: “Well, she comes the closest”.

            Kathie: “I don’t want to die!”
            Jeff: “Neither do I, baby, but if I have to, I’m gonna die last.”

          • CanadaBear

            I’ve always liked his movies and admired him personally. Man’s man and all that. He lived life on his terms and was pretty darn funny.

          • CanadaBear

            So many of those women in old movies were stunners. I know we’ve talked about it before but Martha Vickers as Carmen really does it for me. Also, in the W.C. Fields movie You’re Telling Me the actress playing Princess Lecaboura, Adrienne Ames, was definitely hot. That’s a really under rated W.C. Fields movie.

          • John F
          • AlbertInTucson

            Lovely lady.

          • John F

            Wilmer Cook: Keep on riding me and they’re gonna be picking iron out of your liver.

            Sam Spade: The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.

          • CanadaBear

            The writing in that movie and The Big Sleep is tremendous. People are cast perfectly and everyone delivers in both movies.

          • AlbertInTucson

            It so good that it doesn’t matter that either ending (they shot 20 really doesn’t make sense.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Spade; “Mrs. Spade didn’t raise any children dippy enough to be making statements in front of a District Attorney, an Assistant District Attorney and a stenographer.”

        • CanadaBear

          If you’ve never seen The Killing directed by Stanley Kubrick check it out.

          http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049406/

          • AlbertInTucson

            Another Bravura performance by Sterling Hayden (Godfather’s Capt. McCluskey) along with THE JUNGLE.

          • CanadaBear

            I only wish I could get my wife interested in the old B&W’s but I’m up against a brick wall on that one.

          • John F

            Kind of like my kids, for some reason they cringe when I want to show them something in B&W. I guess you had to grow up with it.

            P.S. – If you ban B&W from your life, how are you supposed to watch the Three Stooges !?!?!

          • CanadaBear

            Ironically my wife is a professional photographer and does a ton of stuff in B&W. When she will watch one she always comments on the lighting and other technical stuff but she just can’t relate to the acting in old movies. Oh well.

          • John F

            Has she seen Casablanca? If she watches that and isn’t moved, she may be an android impersonating your wife, or perhaps a clone a la the Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

          • CanadaBear

            She’s a lot younger than me. That’s all I got!

          • Irish Sweetness

            First time I saw that was in a cinema around the age of 28. Amazing film. Start to finish.

          • AlbertInTucson

            That IS surprising.

          • John F

            Sterling Hayden is absolutely brilliant in Dr. Strangelove (not a noir, but unbelievably good).

            General Jack D. Ripper:”…I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.”

          • AlbertInTucson

            It’s pretty dark but it IS high comedy.

            If there was such a thing as “comic Noir”, DR. STRANGELOVE is it.

          • John F

            I love dark comedies, if they are funny, not bloody or unnecessarily violent.

            Have you seen After Hours (Scorcese directed)? It is really funny.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Have not seen that.

          • CanadaBear

            Love Teri Garr in that one!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Never seen it it! Thanks C-Bear!

      • AlbertInTucson

        Those are 3 great ones right there.

      • Irish Sweetness

        L.A. Confidential feels like a remake of Chinatown to me.

    • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

      The studio made Fincher promise not to do the box scene at the end. He agreed but said fuck it and they did the box scene. Went down as one of the greatest endings in the history of film.

      • Really? Didnt know that.
        That scene was made even better because (spoiler alert) it was Gweneth Paltrow’s head.

        • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

          for some reason I love Paltrow. I know, I know…….

          • You would be the LAST person i would expect to hear that from lol

            Reminds me of my friend . Bald head. Tatted up. Ex military .
            Get in his ride, music comes on. Britney Spears.
            I try changing the station. Not a station. A CD.

            “It’s for the girls, dogs”

            Slowly steps away….

          • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

            Paltrow is kind of like cute girl next door mom hot. I know, i’m ashamed but the heart wants to bang what the heart wants to bang. or , at least I think that’s the phrase.

          • CanadaBear

            If you like them on the thin side, she definitely has a nice body.

          • I like them’ red boned’ as i think the modern vernacular ascribes

          • CanadaBear

            My old standard when I was very young and boozing heavily was pussy and pulse.

          • I never really liked thick girls till i turned 35 . Then i found out they’re the freakiest in beds, low maintenence and not entirely bonkers.
            One major draw back. No standfucking. Well, not unless u want to throw out ur back.

            Girls like Paltrow don’t do anything for me. They’re limber and have long legs, if a dude is into that.

            But personally, i need some meat to tap.

          • John F

            Women are supposed to have curves……

          • Irish Sweetness

            Butch brings it back from the brink.

          • Irish Sweetness

            STOPPIT! NO!

            Anyone who likes Gwynneth Paltrow is either Jewish or gay. Not you C-Bear. Don’t do it. Find yourself a nice little Marisa Tomei.

          • Irish Sweetness

            A hammer to the temple and an iron to the face, donkey punches, ground and pound ….. wait no, I’d do it with a snooker ball in a sock. I’d leave her the way Gregor Clegane left Prince Oberon.

          • John F

            Shakespeare in Love, pretty solid performance by Paltrow ……… I also liked her as kind of a “Girl Friday” in the first Iron Man movie

          • It’s not so much her acting (she’s passable) but her very existence which is offensive. She’s one of those girls who speaks w a bad english accent and marries some soft rock british singer whilst throwing six pence to commoners for a jig

          • CanadaBear

            I don’t think anyone here wants to hang with her but the horizontal mambo is another thing entirely.

          • SC Dave

            If she really wanted me to bone her, I suppose I could do so, even repeatedly.

            So long as she paid for the trips to all those exotic secluded beaches, hilltops, and forest waterfalls pools as venues for our carnal exploits.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Nah.

          • SC Dave

            Better than throwing nothing, i suppose.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Turned that fucking POS movie off halfway through. Fucking hate her in everything. She deserves execution just for the shit she sells on her website.

      • Irish Sweetness

        The only way it could have been better is if it was ACTUALLY Gwynneth Paltrow’s head in the box.

    • willbest

      I have said it before, but every police officer present would have sworn on their mother’s lives that Spacey tried to escape.

  • BerwynBomber

    “There’s no way of knowing if Mitch Trubisky is going to be the starting quarterback of the Chicago Bears for the next decade plus. But he could be.”

    He better be. If not, the Angelo/Lovie era will grow even more in stature.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      How will the Angelo/Lovie era grow in stature? It was blah, on top of blah, then sprinkle in a couple playoff runs.

      • John F

        I think he meant in a relative sense. As Bears fans we have to grade on a curve ………

      • BerwynBomber

        “How will the Angelo/Lovie era grow in stature?”

        By comparison.

        • SC Dave

          Seemed pretty simple to me.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “NFL officiating boss Al Riveron was asked about #Bears TE Zach Miller’s catch in New Orleans in regards to the new catch rules.”

    Screw Riveron!.

    He micro-managed replay into an even WORSE concept than it was before he took over.

    • CanadaBear

      Unless he was getting a ton of pressure from his bosses to micro-manage the process, he should have been fired in the off season.

      • Sharen

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    • SC Dave

      What is the fucking point of going through all that?

      • AlbertInTucson

        Don’t understand your issue.

  • You guys are slacking. Missed the biggest story. Jews can eat pork now!

    https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/evqxdz/rabbi-suggests-that-lab-grown-pork-might-be-kosher

    NBIT, Shady, MB, if u guys are lurking, ur welcome.

    Happy passover

  • Sactowns#1

    Welp, looks like Suh isnt coming to town. Sounds like the Rams got him for fairly cheap too.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Suh next to Donald sounds scary.

      • I wanna say these dream teams never worked but the broncos’ last SB was due to their FAs dragging Peyton along

        • Dis Guy Trublinsky (Johnnywad)

          Rams clearly trying to get it done with Goff on his rookie deal.

      • SC Dave

        Indeed.

        Oh the other hand, healthy Long and Nelson bitch slap them in the divisional round.

        You know, the game before we hoist the Halas at Lambeau.

    • SC Dave

      $14M aint cheap.

  • BuddhaJoe

    Surprised Suh signed a one-year deal. Although $14 million for one season would be hard to turn down if he wants to bet on himself.

  • SC Dave

    I know we do football here, but for the life of me I will never understand why people think Michael Jordan was better than Wilt Chamberlain.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      quality of play in league. Wilt would get 40 rebounds a night without trying because everyone sucked at shooting.

      • SC Dave

        I take it you have the league FG % to back that up?

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          You get that many rebounds around the hoop bound to be a lot on the offensive side. Easy buckets.

          • SC Dave

            Wilt was just better, and the numbers prove it. Wilt had a season with more points per hame than Jordan, and it was NOT one of his seven scoring titles.

          • SC Dave

            Oh, and btw, Jordan averaged 6.2 per game.

            In the end, I think its because the game was not popular enough.

          • John F

            Want a good bar bet?

            “I bet you I could name a player that averaged over 47 minutes a game for a whole season”. “Wait, I bet you I could name a player that averaged OVER 48 minutes per game for a whole season”

            “How can a guy average OVER 48 minutes per game?”

            “In the 1961/62 season, Wilt Chamberlain played every minute (regulation and overtime) of every game that year”

            https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/c/chambwi01/gamelog/1962/

        • I’ll pinch hit for Waffle here.
          Because Wilt played against white guys a foot shorter?

          Same argument can be made for Jim Brown vs Sweetness.

          #reverseReverseAntiRacism

          • SC Dave

            Short white guys like Bill Russell?

            And Jim Brown was definitely better than Payton, to your point. Well, no… not sure where the race card comes in.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            So you are able to name 2 big black guys that played in that era….kind of telling ain’t it.

          • SC Dave

            How so?

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            They played against a bunch of white guys a foot shorter than them that no one can remember their names

          • What, you don’t remember Whitey “white shoes” MaGee?

          • Wilt didnt play Russell every night

          • Irish Sweetness

            No he wasn’t definitely better than Payton. At what? There’s more to being a running back than the YPC, and Walter did all the other stuff that Jim didn’t.

            Was Brown a better runner, really? More elusive? Faster? What?

            Jim Brown is a name the old timers pull up along with Gale Sayers just to put a spanner in the works.

          • CanadaBear

            No offense Irish but you have no idea what you’re talking about. When it came to RB’s it was Jim Brown and everybody else. After that it was Gale and everybody else. Gale’s career was way too short. JB walked away on top.

    • John F

      Some people argue Kareem Abdul Jabar. The Wilt thing is probably due to the lack of significant number of championships (one in Philly, one in LA??)

    • Because Wilt wasn’t even the best player of his generation. You want to argue somebody over Jordan, it’s Bill Russell.

      But to me it’s Jordan simply because he dominated the league in a way nobody else has. Most of his peers didn’t get titles because he kept beating them, and in a game historically dominated by big men, he’s the only wing player to lead a dynasty without a dominant post player.

      • Yeah, but Jordan had Kukoc!

      • leftcoastdave

        And people think the Pats get calls. MJ never drove with the ball without what we called in the day, “palming” the ball, aka turning it over and/or carrying the ball. Not to mention all of the charges which became blocking fouls, etc., etc..

        • Russian Hacked Pacebot 2.0

          that is the whitest thing i’ve ever heard. did you just bring up palming? fill your vadge with cock and turn in your man card right now sir.

          • leftcoastdave

            That is what it was called in the 60’s.

            Sorry.

    • BerwynBomber

      It is bit of Brady vs. Peyton thing. GOAT of the post-season (Jordan) vs. GOAT of the regular season (Wilt). I’m too lazy to look it up but I believe Jordan has the all-time post-season scoring average and I would be next to shocked if he didn’t own the all-time Finals career scoring average record.

      Say what you want about Jordan, but he seemed to get better the bigger the moment. That is exceedingly rare even among greats, simply because the competition is much better in the post-season. As much as we blow job Brady, I wouldn’t be surprised if his regular season PR is usually a tick higher than his post-season PR. Guys like Sanchize and Flacco are the obvious exceptions to that.

      Plus, wasn’t it perceived that, short of Russell, Wilt faced a lot of 6’8″ white dudes? Certainly the league was much smaller in a couple of different ways.

  • SC Dave

    Egad… it’s really good we cut that asshole over a couple of misses. I know a couple of regs are pleased!

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/96271674-132.html

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      10+ misses over 2 years is a little more than a couple.

  • God of Thunder hears a rumor that human women are crazy in bed. He descends the rainbow bridge and picks up a hot babe in a club and takes her back to the hotel and bounces off the wall for a few hours.

    Later in the morning she is leaving the bathroom and he tells her “I must confess to you: I am Thor”

    She says “you’re Thor? Im so Thor it hurts when I piss.”

    • I got a hero joke

      So, Supes was flying over the city. Then, he looks down and spots Wonder Woman ass naked spreadeagle sunbathing.

      Whoah. So, he thinks, naaah, should I?
      Screw it.
      He swoops down faster than a speeding bullett BAM BAM BAM then takes off

      Wonder Woman asks, “What the hell was that?”
      To which The Invisible Man replies, ” I don’t know but my ass sure hurts”

      • Irish Sweetness

        Weird. He told that joke, and then I thought of your joke, and then you printed it.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Oldies but goldies.

  • You know i was thinking w all these win-now teams throwing $ at FAs like Suh, maybe the Bears should get proactive, restructure some contracts to take a hit now, so that maybe we can have some cap space when we finally go all-in

  • catfish44

    Pro Football Weekly EDMUNDS NOT ON THE LIST
    @PFWeekly

    Who are @greggabe’s 4 favorite EDGE rushers right now in this year’s draft?
    Pass rushers — 4-3 defensive ends and 3-4 outside linebackers — always carry a bit of a premium going into any draft because of their unique ability to disrupt an offense.

    I wouldn’t call this edge class great, but it’s a good group with a bit of depth to it. Still, if a club wants a quality pass rusher, it better try and get one before the draft is two rounds old or it could be out of luck.

    This year the edge class includes the player whom I feel is the best player in the draft regardless of position, North Carolina State’s Bradley Chubb. Yes, I realize that a few quarterbacks could get drafted before he comes off the board, but time will prove that Chubb matches up with the better pass rushers in any draft.

    Bradley Chubb – North Carolina State

    Chubb has all the traits you look for in any top pass rusher — size, speed, strength, power, athleticism and production. At 6-foot-4 and 269 pounds with 4.65 speed, Chubb is scheme versatile and can be the cornerstone of any 4-3 or 3-4 defensive scheme.

    Watching Chubb play reminds me a little of former N.C. State defender Mario Williams, who was the first pick of the 2006 draft by the Houston Texans. Chubb doesn’t have the sheer size that Williams had, but his style of play is similar.

    Chubb was recruited and originally enrolled at N.C. State to play linebacker, but he grew into the edge position and has prospered ever since. In the past two seasons, he totaled 20 sacks, and that was while consistently getting double-teamed and schemed against. His production has improved every year, too — in 2016 he had 56 total tackles then followed that up with 72 total tackles in 2017.

    Chubb will be a top-five pick and come in and start right away for the team that drafts him. What will be interesting is seeing how he compares to other edge players drafted in previous years. Will he be just as productive as a rookie, or will he put up better numbers?

    Marcus Davenport – Texas – San Antonio

    Some people might want to put Virginia Tech linebacker Tremaine Edmunds in this spot, but I just can’t do it. Edmunds is an inside linebacker who rarely plays outside — and is very raw as a pass rusher. He is a projection to play outside.

    Davenport is a player with great upside who is just realizing his vast potential. When looking at tape from 2017, one might want to rate some edge players higher, but there are very few that have Davenport’s ceiling.

    At the combine, Davenport came in at 6056 (6-5 ¾) and 264 pounds and ran a very fast 4.59. Davenport played at a little lower level of competition at UTSA but showed dominating ability. It was in 2016 that he began to come on, and he continued that improved play in 2017. In 2016, he tallied 68 total tackles and 6.5 sacks. In 2017, his tackle production actually went down to 55, but his sack production improved to 10.0, and he also had 17.5 tackles for loss. As he gained experience, Davenport became more of a big-play performer.

    Davenport can get a bit tall, and he is raw as far as hand use and technique, but when he gets a taste of NFL coaching, he should improve by leaps and bounds. Davenport played as a defensive end at UTSA but was usually playing from a two point stance. In the NFL he will be a scheme versatile player who should be able to play in either a 3-4 or a 4-3. Regardless, in two years, Davenport could be one of the better pass rushers in the NFL.

    Harold Landry – Boston College

    Going into 2017, Landry was looked at as the premier edge player in the country. He had 16.5 sacks in 2016 and showed a combination of speed, power and explosiveness coming off the edge. Landry played much of 2017 with a lower leg injury, which, along with facing constant double-teaming, slowed him down. He only played in eight games, and his sack production dropped to 5.0.

    At the combine, Landry measured 6-foot-2 and 252 pounds, and he ran a 4.64, which is faster than how he played in 2017 (leg injury). He also did very well in the agility drills and jumps (6.88-second 3-cone time, 36″ vertical), showing the explosiveness that was lacking for much of 2017.

    Landry played mostly down at Boston College, but he easily has the athleticism to play outside linebacker in a 3-4. He is probably a better fit in a 3-4 because of his size, but if he is in the right 4-3 scheme, Landry can be a terror coming off the edge. Come April 26th, don’t be surprised to hear Landry’s name called somewhere in the teens.

    Lorenzo Carter – Georgia

    Looking at the numbers, Carter had a good, not a great year in 2017. He finished the season with 61 total tackles and 4.5 sacks. In 2016 he had 5.0 sacks. It’s what we see on tape, and then what he did at the combine, that really helps his cause.

    Carter measured 6047 and 250 pounds. On tape, he seems to have a narrow frame, but he really is put together fairly well and can probably get to a solid 255-258 pounds in another year. He has very good length (34” arms), and his workout numbers were outstanding. He ran a very fast 4.50, as well as jumping out of the building with his long jump and vertical (36”, 10’10”) in Indy.

    His tape shows that explosiveness, and though he only registered 4.5 sacks, he had a high number of pressures and hits. He is still a young player, and with NFL coaching those numbers should improve dramatically. He needs to improve his hand use and get a little stronger in the upper body — when that happens, Carter’s numbers will shoot up.

    Right now, I see Carter as a better fit in a 3-4 scheme than a 4-3. He played down some at Georgia, but he doesn’t have the bulk that some teams want at the defensive end position. At the Georgia pro day last week, Carter looked outstanding and was getting a lot of attention from defensive line coaches and coordinators, so don’t be surprised to see him go fairly high come draft day.

  • Sharen

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