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The 2017 Bears’ Greatest Sin: They Are a Bore

| November 14th, 2017

Sometimes fans and football media (bloggers too, for that matter) get so wrapped up in the particulars of NFL action they lose touch with the bigger picture. Snap counts. A-gaps. Running into run looks. Drama between GM and coach. It’s all the stuff that allows us to fill space – whether that’s a newspaper column or blog post or Twitter feed. And with only 60 minutes of game action a week, it’s not that easy to six days of space. Hell, there’s a reason the Chicago Tribune has about nine people covering the Bears.

But this whole sports thing is supposed to be entertaining. This is supposed to be something we do for enjoyment. Yes, for the media it’s a job but these guys aren’t covering Afghanistan or sex abuse scandals or gun violence in Chicago. This is all supposed to be fun. And the 2017 Chicago Bears are not entertaining. They are not enjoyable. They are not fun.

They are a massive fucking bore. And that alone should be enough to get people fired.


Image result for boring gif


The empty seats at Soldier Field Sunday – against the team’s oldest rival, with actual things on the line – were just the beginning. The Lions are coming to town in the thick of a playoff hunt with a fan base that loves traveling south to Chicago and annoying the shit out of me in Rossi’s. What is that building on the lakefront going to sound like when half the seats are silver and blue?

The Bears have the awful Niners at Soldier Field in December. Who is going to that game?

They have the worst organization in the history of pro sports, the Cleveland Browns, coming to Soldier Field on Christmas Eve!! Who is going to THAT game? Oh that’s right, I am! You’ll see me on television. I’ll be the guy in the stands.

The Bears have a solution to this problem on the roster. He’s 23 years old and he wears number 10. He is capable of doing far more than this stubbornly antiquated coaching staff is allowing him to do. Let him throw the ball early and often. Let him make mistakes with his arm. Let him throw a few interceptions a week if it’s going to come with touchdowns and yardage and excitement. Deshaun Watson threw 8 picks in his short tenure as Houston’s starter. Did anybody care? Nope.

But the Bears are obviously not going to do that with their current head coach. They are going to continually, and predictably, keep running into 9-man fronts and throw only when behind the chains. They are going to continue with an offensive game plan that bewilders color commentators and excites opposing defenders. They are going to keep boring us all to death because that’s how the head coach wants to win.

And the seats will remain empty. The televisions off. The stories unclicked. Because nobody actively seeks out boredom.

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