Punting on 2017 a Tough Sell for Fox

| August 30th, 2017

There is no question that John Fox actually believes he can win with Mike Glennon. That’s Fox’s reality. But in actual reality, even when Glennon is at his best, he will limit what the team can do offensively. The coaches know it, the fans know it and — worse yet — the players know it. If the Bears struggle with Glennon, Fox could lose the locker room. Once that happens, he’s gone.

Glennon deserves credit. It looked as if he needed to play well to keep his job and he did. But Glennon playing well still only gave the offense 10 points against an awful defense. It would’ve been 14, but he missed an easy throw for a touchdown.  Glennon is always going to miss throws. His ball placement is terrible. At his best, he’s just a guy who won’t kill you. He’s never going to make the kinds of plays that win games.

The rest of the Bears are good enough that they’ll win seven games that way if they stay completely healthy. They’ve already lost their top receiver and have a quarterback who can’t use either Kevin White or Markus Wheaton on anything aside from bubble screens and quick slants. More realistically, the Bears will end up with five or six wins if Glennon starts all 16 games. Fox probably isn’t keeping his job if they only win five or six games and he sure as hell isn’t keeping it if he loses the locker room along the way.

Maybe Ryan Pace knows that. Maybe he’s the one pulling the strings. But I doubt it. Pace needs some wins too and if you listen to what he has said going back to the start of camp, it has always sounded like he’s much more open to Trubisky starting than Fox is.

Except, there was never even a quarterback competition. Expecting Trubisky to play well with guys he’s barely even practiced with wasn’t realistic.

Fox has been a head coach in the NFL for as long as he has because the players love him. The situation with Glennon might be a reason why. Fox told Glennon he’d have his chance to make an impact and now he’s staying true to his word. But if Fox wants to remain coaching in the NFL he’s either going to have to convince his team that mediocrity (or worse) at the quarterback position is OK or go with the guy everyone — especially those in the locker room knows is better.

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  • SC Dave

    Were this the first time I read this script, it would not be quite as tedious as it has become.

    How do you know Glennon cannot throw the ball downfield? Have they yet called a play for it?
    How do you know the players all think Trubisky is better?
    How do you know this team cannot win more than seven games with Glennon?

    Did Jeff tell you and Wood you could not have articles here unless you behaved this way? Your diversity of thought is equivalent to hosts of The View.

    • DaBearsBlog

      (1) I can’t see how Gentry doesn’t make team. They don’t have any receivers.


    • Sahr Gborie

      Have you not watched any games of Tamp? Glennon is limited in what he can do. Those limitations are very obvious.

      Trubisky might not be as polished as Glennon is reading the defense or setting the line but he will learn very quickly. He seems like a quick study. He will figure it out before the bye week.

      More than 7 wins with Glennon is not possible because he is limitations stop him from getting the most out of what we have: K.White, M.Wheaton, T.Gentry, A.Saheen…ect…..the players look alive and different when Trubisky is playing….remember who they looked when McCown came in the game when Cutty was hurt?

      • SC Dave

        Kyle Orton was “limited” in what he could do, and had Rivera been able to figure out Steve Smith, they would have had a shot for the Super Bowl in 2005.

        Edit: Beating the Seahawks would have been another story tho.

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          The myth about Kyle Orton grows every day.
          The Bears would have needed the 85 D to win with Orton.

          • SC Dave

            He was 10-5 in 2005, Yonny, and the Bears won the division.

            Facts are what they are.

          • CanadaBear

            Indeed! 190/368=51.6%, 9 TD’s vs 13 INT’s with a rating of 59.7. That really isn’t getting it done without a championship D and ST’s.

          • Dale701

            I wanted this post to reply to Irish, but ……. From what I have seen so far, I like Mitch way more than Watson! I have even read a post today expecting him to be a bust. Watson reminds me of a young Kap, he tore us up that time he came off the bench against us. After the NFL got tape on him, his goose was cooked.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            Dale, in defense of Kap the NFL didn’t get tape on him, he lost 2 or 3 pro bowl linemen and Gore who was tearing it up at the time. The D also faded when Willis retired and Bowman got crazy hurt. Then they lost all of their safeties to big money deals elsewhere and Justin Smith retired and Aldon Smith fucked up.
            Kap, on a team with a strong O line and run game with a coach unafraid to run the read option would do very well. He would have to gain about 15 to 20 lbs of muscle back that he lost when he met that chick and became a vegetarian like a pussy.

          • CanadaBear

            I have no idea if Watson, Kizer, Mahomes, MT, etc. will pan out. To me, MT looks the part more than the others but who knows? It’s such a crap shoot. If a QB with a ton of upside ends up in an awful organization, he could turn out to be horrible. Or vice versa.

          • My pre-draft rank was Trub,

            then a YUGE chasm,

            Watson, Peterman, Mahomes, Kizer

            with all those QBs after Trub being clunked together.

            Time will tell.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            lowest rating in the league. yikes.

          • CanadaBear

            He was really awful but the Bears managed to win with a killer D and ST’s. Being from Iowa I really liked Orton as a person and he did get much better with Denver but even then he was JAG.

          • leftcoastdave

            Have you been following CJ and his tight end in SF?

            Or Des King for that matter in SD?


          • CanadaBear

            Nope. Just the Bears. I pay a little bit of attention to the other NFCN teams but that’s it.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            yep and Jim Miller and Shane Mathews went 13-3 in 2001. Record DOES NOT equal greatness. They were all LIMITED.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            The fact that he was a rookie and had a terrible year cannot be overlooked. Seven out of those 10 wins, the Bears, with a strong run game and stout O line, scored less than 20 pts.
            In their 5 losses they averaged less than 9 pts.
            The Kyle shit has to be put to bed. We’re done with placeholders in this town and that’s why a lot of people are wanting to see the real talent on the field.

        • SC Dave

          All of your responses seem to have entirely overlooked that I *wrote that Orton was limited*, and the team went 10-5 with him anyway.

          So, all this tripe about the Bears being unable to win more then seven games with Glennon is just that – tripe.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            what you wrote was he was “limited” with double quotes around it. which a lot of people are going to interpret as you are trying to convey sarcasm or irony.

          • SC Dave

            Ok, fair enough. That was not my intent

        • KentuckyBearsFan

          Steve Smith back then against Chicago played like he was seeking revenge from a bear that ate and killed his whole family. He was ridiculous.

      • Ryan Pace

        How exactly does K.White, M.Wheaton and A.Shaheen look alive when Trubs is playing?? He hasn’t completed a single pass to K.White and has maybe completed one or two to Shaheen and M.Wheaton hasn’t even played yet sooooooooo……………………

    • MrBearsox02 .

      ” Your diversity of thought is equivalent to hosts of The View.” ! Best line of the day and infact made my day !

  • SC Dave

    I keep reading stuff like this:

    “As a receiver, Gentry said he’s working on his separation and timing. But it’s apparent he has upside with his knack for bringing down go-up-and-get-it throws.

    It also helps that Gentry has earned the trust of Trubisky — an important factor to consider knowing what Trubisky means to the Bears now and later. The two also have become close friends.

    “You throw it to [Gentry]; he’s going to catch it,” wide receiver Kevin White said. “He runs really fast. He works really hard. He does everything right.”

    It is a repeated story. I hope we keep this guy.

    • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

      That’s why Cutler loved Mariani. Amazingly he was the best technical WR on the Bears at one point. That is fucking incredible but sadly true.

      He went through a stretch where he converted a really nice amount of 3rd downs.

      Gentry is a solid sized guy and had good production in a bigger college program. Maybe he’s one of those guys that rises to the challenge of the NFL. Here’s to that happening.

      • SC Dave

        Your adjective “solid sized” certainly looks to be the case. Maybe he has the speed to be truly dangerous; if White is calling him fast…

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          Think he’s 6’2 205

        • Gentry’s sorta an odd duck.

          He’s not the small slot quick type in spite of being white
          But neither is he the protypical 6’5 jump ball guy.

          He’s sorta in-between.

          I’m looking forward to see what he could do, but my mind’s drawing a blank as to who he compares to.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            Joe Anderson?

    • Gentry is walking the walk. We’ve been hearing about him being studly in practice, and for once we’ve seen some of the hype transfer over to games, even if they were just PS games

      Remember when we kept hearing for 3 yrs how Marquees Wilson would be a thing? Dude is working at CostCo now.

      Cohen has also walked the walk.

      Nice to finally see practice warriors actually perform well in exhibitions.

      Next step, REAL games.

      • SC Dave

        Wilson, Aromashedu, Jacquizz, etc., etc.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        I am surprised Irish hasn’t been banging the drum more for Gentry like he did for Meredith last year.

  • Sahr Gborie

    Browns have released CB Joe Haden…please let the Bears pick him up

    • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

      His game dropped off when he stopped taking horse steroids.

      • Sahr Gborie

        still better than what we currently have

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          Prince may be a non factor with 2 lower body injuries already. I’d be ok with Haden out there instead of Leblanc or Webb.

          • Sahr Gborie

            I have given up on Prince. The best ability is availability. Haden is an upgrade even if not by much….thinking about it there is no point in getting him if Trubisky is not playing. With Giraffe Neck the season is lost

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            I would think that Haden will got to a contender.
            Update: Joe Haden has made 75 million in his career to date so he’ll be going to wherever he has the best chance to play and win in the post season.

          • #TheInjuryFormallyKnownAsPrince

      • KentuckyBearsFan

        maybe he’s at the age where horse tranquilizers would help more.


        comedy movie: Extract

    • Wow. Straight out released him.
      They actually did him a solid doing it before the Sat frenzy.

      His INJ history worries me. Then again, Pace only signs FAs with a long inj history, so Hayden might fit the bill.

    • Ryan Pace

      No way does Pace look at him and even if he did there’s no way He’d choose the Bears over the Cowboys, Chiefs, Steelers or Saints. I’d love to have him but don’t really think he makes too much sense for us since we still have at least two more years of rebuilding to get this team where they will be a consistent winning team and Trubs will need a couple of years to get adjusted and we need to get him a #1 WR. Haden has been falling off the last couple of years as well and is not the same player he was when he was making pro bowls. I’d still take him for the right price but i see him going to one of the teams mentioned that are win now teams.

      • Haden’s not old though. Not older than Demps, Freeman or McPhee I don’t think, so age is not an issue.

        the issue is if he’s a scheme fit and his inj history.

        • Ryan Pace

          I know he’s only 28 but the biggest issue for me was that he’s started to fall of the last couple of years so it could be because of all of his injuries or who knows, maybe he’s just sick of losing and has become somewhat disinterested in playing the last couple of years because of it and still can be a great CB but if i went on the last couple of years i’d want to be very careful on the money and amount of years i gave him.

  • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

    I have a different viewpoint of the 4th preseason game. I am going to watch it and enjoy it. It is a collection of guy that make us bloggers and internet champions look like fucking cuck pussies. Most of these guys will never play football again yet their whole lives were spent dominating pretty much every game they played in from 6yrs old onwards. I’m going to watch that game for those guys who deserve that one last chance at glory.

    A sliver of guys will play themselves onto a roster, any roster or a practice squad hopefully.

    Here’s to the longshot!

    • King of DBB

      To the warriors! Come out and play!

      (Takes swig of Schlitz. Belches)

      • CanadaBear

        Thumbs up (other than the Schlitz, that shit was horrid).

    • Some are whining about Trub starting.

      I like it.

      Can’t go through life afraid of what MIGHT happen.

      You can get hit by lightning reading a book on the beach. (just ask Bridgewater)

      Get him out there. Fuck it. He’s starting. Let him go through the motions, running through the tunnel as thousands of fans boo or cheer or throw drunk slurs at him. Get the jitters out of the way.

      It’s part of the growing process.

  • SC Dave

    Jahns, in response to question about Bears impact rookie this season, unhesitatingly said Eddie Jackson.

    “Pro-Bowl material”

    May it be so. MB might even come back.

    • MBs has liked Jackson.
      So Have I.

      I nominated him as the rook who will redeem Pace early (Though Cohen bringing the goods)

      On the flip side, I don’t expect much of Shaheen. Rook TEs rarely make an impact, esp when they’re 3rd on depth chart.

      • SC Dave

        Jahns also wrote an article about Shaheen, saying the Bears are pleased with his progress. The basic theme of the piece was that they are already *very* confident in his ability to catch the football and win contested throws, and that the huge focus has been on his blocking.

        An example cited was his blocking on the TD to Gentry. He’s right up front where you can see him:

  • BearDown100393

    Fox is a lame duck head coach. How is he not supposed to coach for wins this season?

  • King of DBB

    In today’s blog the DBB writers teabag Glennon. Again. Same as yesterday, and the day before.

    Film at 11

    • SC Dave

      I feel like I’m feeding a troll every time I respond to the articles on this blog now. Were I here for the articles instead of the regulars (and occasional awesome lurkers), I’d be long gone.

      Although AD did manage one article without feeling compelled to slam Glennon.

      • Scharfinator

        I’m still a big fan of Data’s stuff. I guess I’m a numbers nerd though.

        • SC Dave

          To me, cap analysis does not make a case for starting a particular quarterback.

          • Scharfinator

            Draw your own conclusions from it, it is nice to see actual statistics. Too often these articles are just written “from the gut”, which typically makes them suspect. Smart businesses never make decisions from the gut, everything is vetted. Why not do the same with this?

          • +16

    • Sahr Gborie

      Its not teabaggin when its the truth.

  • Bears-4-Ever

    Fox never impressed but there are worse coaches out there. Yeah I know, no warm and fuzzies thinking about that BUT Right out of the gate this season we face a very good team and arguably a team that should of won the last SB but shit the bed and blew it. Huge test that will speak volumes on the status of the Bears. Glennon is not the answer for the Bears, he’s a speed bump, a rather expensive one, that leads to Trubisky being our eventual franchise QB. The future of the Bears within the next 5 years rests solely on the Offensive line and Trubisky’s Health. Keep the kid healthy and not running for his life and the Bears will put points on the board. All I want right now is a .500 Bears Season or better with the Kid uninjured at it’s end. BEAR DOWN.

    • SC Dave

      You have to say that the SB coaching of the Falcons was worse than anything Fox has ever done.

    • BerwynBomber

      “Glennon is not the answer for the Bears, he’s a speed bump, a rather expensive one”

      He’d be one of the lowest paid slotted starters in the league this year. And next year he makes back-up money.

      P.S. only half his money is guaranteed.

      • Ryan Pace

        Not even half. $20 mil is guaranteed so if we cut him after this year we’d have to pay him $2 mil to go away.

  • leftcoastdave

    “There is no question that John Fox actually believes he can win with
    Mike Glennon. That’s Fox’s reality. But in ACTUAL REALITY, even when
    Glennon is at his best, he will limit what the team can do offensively.”

    Wow. The ability to know and pontificate upon ACTUAL REALITY!!!

    What was it about 12-zip against the Titans with their top notch D on the field is not ACTUAL REALITY? And that with Tarik the Freak Human Joystick on the pine and the O line still gellin’?

    Yes, Mitchel looks to be a great NFL QB.

    Perhaps you might HUMBLY sit back and consider how Fox and Company have brought him along? Mike is our starter, no pressure. Go in against the vanilla 2’s and 3’s man coverage. Show your stuff. Learn while doing. It is happening.

    Atlanta is coming to town and will not be using vanilla 2’s and 3’s against da Bears.

    Da Bears have been injury plagued for too long now.

    The O line is looking very good, but ?????

    Yet all we hear is “throw the rookie out to the lions”. “Let him get his baptism of fire.”

    In what world is that smart?

    • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

      Dave I think it’s important to realize that with any shortcomings that the Bears have on, let’s say, the O line, that the OC’s job is to game plan around them.
      Birdcage is already going to be planning his games around injuries to Long and Kush and not Meredith and the necessary moving around of Whitehair and Grassu. With that being said if you’re going to make those adjustments anyways why not make adjustments that allow the rookie to execute the same playbook as Glennon with adjustments for his mobility and quickness but keeping in mind his mental learning curve?
      I just don’t see why we have to put an inferior QB on the field because Trubisky might get a fucking delay of game call once in a while. I saw Stafford get on the other day and he can buy Nigeria now.

      • leftcoastdave

        The Kid is being brought along slowly and without pressure. It is working just fine. He has had his nice highlight reels. He is feeling good about himself, not overwhelmed by mistakes.

        The start of the season is a buzz saw.

        Which would you think to be better for developing a QB, to be thrown in as the starter against Atlanta who will throw the refrigerator as well as the kitchen sink at him, or to later (whenever) be brought in if Mike Glennon is not getting it done after seeing what is happening on the field?

        Let the coaches coach the Kid up.

        With the great D 7, we are winning the division and eventually the Kid will be the starting QB.

  • BerwynBomber

    From a pure blog perspective, Glennon vs. Trubisky makes me miss the Cutler debates.

    Btw, if you’re an NFL team next year with a rookie QB, wouldn’t you hire Sanchize as a QB coach in a heartbeat? Dak and (so far) Trubisky look remarkably ahead of the curve in terms of poise, vision and decision-making. If Sanchize’s mentorship played a big role in each, he should be highly sought after.

    • SC Dave

      Good point on Sanchez. Maybe ==> The BEARS <== should hire him!?

      • BerwynBomber

        True. But I suspect if he played an integral role in each he could become a Gase-like commodity. In short, moving on to bigger and better things/hello highest bidder.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          he’s only 30. Like Johnny said he is going to be a back up for as long as he can, making a few million a year. Why go to coaching and make pennies on the dollar?

          • BerwynBomber

            I was working under the assumption that his ability to make millions as an NFL QB was on very, very thin ice.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            IMO, that is a bad assumption. Just look at the quality of backups out there. Chad Henne, Scott Tolzien, and Ryan Mallet are on rosters.

          • BerwynBomber

            Could be. But he’s been a #3 for two years in a row.

      • leftcoastdave

        And thus my question, can da Bears promote him to the coaching staff right now and keep Shaw, or are there rules against that?

        • CanadaBear

          The problem is a position coach isn’t going to make a million+ dollars.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            If I’m Sanchez I’m holding a clipboard until I’m 38 at least. Then the rest of your life you can invest in and work in any capacity you’d like making anything you need to make in order to do what you want to do.

          • BerwynBomber

            If teams want him as a #2, sure. But I don’t know if that is a given.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            it’s weird that he is scorned because of the butt fumble but he did have some nice productivity before the butt fumble happened. He’s a lot more mature now than he was years ago as well.
            Most teams would take him on a #2 for a million or two.

          • BerwynBomber

            I would too and feel the same about the guy (as you) but as I said to HBP below he has been a #3 for two years in a row and DEN waived him before that.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            true but the league is QB needy. he will keep getting his chances.

          • SC Dave

            He could probably do that now, no?

        • BerwynBomber

          I wouldn’t worry about losing Shaw. He’s PS fodder.

          • SC Dave

            Is Connor still eligible for PS?

          • CanadaBear

            Who is eligible for a spot on the practice squad?

            Up to four of those 10 players can have two accrued NFL seasons. So, was a player on the 53-man roster for at least six games of two NFL seasons? Sorry, they’re out of luck.

            It used to be that three weeks of an NFL season spent on a practice squad counted as one full season of practice squad eligibility. Now, that number has been increased to six weeks, which expands some players’ eligibility.

            A player can spend no more than three seasons on any practice squad.

          • willbest

            Yes. He only has 1 NFL season.

          • CanadaBear

            He was on Cleveland’s PS in 2014. He was on IR in 15 and the PS with Bears in 16. Looks like he has 1 more year of eligibility.

          • SC Dave


        • willbest

          Other than Sanchez might rather play than coach? As a backup he makes what? 1-2 million a year. As a QB coach he would pull down? a few hundred thousand.

          If Sanchez really is that good, somebody will hire him as a QB coach 4-5 years from now too. In the mean time he gets to bounce around the league basically doing work/study with all the OC and QB coaches.

          • leftcoastdave

            What do we pay him if we cut him? What of that is picked up by another team if they pick him up?

            He certainly hasn’t put anything on tape this year to justify signing him, but then you’re right, he is not likely to want to hang up the cleats unless he plans to move into coaching while his body is still intact.

          • willbest

            Sanchez signed a 1-year $2 million deal with the Bears. He got a $750k signing bonus and a $250k roster bonus. If we cut him we pay him no additional money. We get no offsets if he signs with another team.

  • Jokey

    Play Mitchel. He’ll make mistakes, and either learn from them and improve, or not. There’s only one way to find out. He looks like he’s got the raw materials; game experience will hone those. Let him see those exotic blitzes from a 1st person perspective, which is the only one that ultimately matters. Teach him how to match up what he sees 1st hand with what he sees on tape later.

    And he looks better right now than Glennon does. So am I missing something?

  • Sahr Gborie

    The fact that Trubisky is better than Glenn points to 2 things:

    1 – Glennon is average/just passes for an NFL QB. His job is being threatened by a rookie. He had the playbook before the rookie. He held group meetings with players to get a feel for each other and it did nothing to help him when it was game time

    2 – Trubisky is better/more ready than we expected. He raises the game of those around him. He has more intangibles than Glennon.

    The real test/question for me is would Trubisky’s have competed with or beaten Cutler for the job? If the answer is yes then play the kid. The Seahawks played a 3/4rd R.Wilson and look at them now. Play the kid now. He gives us our best chance to win

  • CanadaBear

    Second verse same as the first.

    • Sactowns#1

      I’m a Gomer homer, yes I am
      A gomer homer I am I am
      I got excited over a bad draft pick
      Now I’m gonna keep screamin it

      • CanadaBear

        You know we don’t agree about the draft pick but I like your verse!

  • BerwynBomber

    “DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog All reporting in 2016 suggested Cutler was not getting job back from Hoyer if Hoyer stayed healthy. Hoyer was 1-3. He lost to Jags at home.”

    And the year before Cutler lost to SF and Blaine Gabbert at home and did this. (Btw, this is a good example why Cutty audibling was often dicey.)

    Lots of reasons to start the Kid over Glennon. But Hoyer vs. Cutty debates are immaterial.

  • 505Bears

    If Trubinky is not starting day 1, I don’t like that he is starting preseason game 4. Why risk the franchise QB against a bunch of scrappy guys trying to make a team/trying to make a name for themselves by leveling Trubinky? What’s the risk/reward for him playing a few series against guys who may not even make a team? Don’t do it!!!

    • SC Dave

      Reps. It’s all about reps.

  • BerwynBomber

    “They’ve already lost their top receiver and have a quarterback who can’t use either Kevin White or Markus Wheaton on anything aside from bubble screens and quick slants.”

    Glennon is certainly flawed but I don’t know if a weak arm is one of those flaws.


    • CanadaBear

      Pretty sure MT has more zip in the arm but I’ve never heard anyone say MG has a weak arm. Just that it isn’t all that accurate.

      • BerwynBomber

        Oh, I’m sure Trubisky does too. But at the same time, Glennon’s arm is not Hoyer’s. He looks to have average arm strength from what I can tell. No worse.

        • CanadaBear

          100%. I get the page views thing but post after post about this same scenario is just odd. Even though I have no faith in Foxy I’m sure he has a better handle on when to start MT than any of us. I would much prefer reading about the last 10 spots on the roster over this.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            Go ahead and trust Foxy on when someone should start. It’s not like he ever kept a better player on the bench while a ‘vet’ floundered. oh wait…I forgot about Howard.

          • CanadaBear

            Howard still had a pretty good year wouldn’t you say? Why the rush to get MT in there? The Bears aren’t going anywhere this year.

          • leftcoastdave

            O Ye of little faith.

          • CanadaBear

            Very little.

          • BerwynBomber

            As much as you and I are often simpatico in our Bears views, I’m a bit more optimistic about our chances. We look strong in DL, LBs, RB, OL and TE. QB is a huge question. WRs look sub-par (especially after the devastating Cam injury) and our secondary (though improved) might still have only an average ceiling.

            But look at the rest of the division. The Cheese are again Rodgers and Rodgers only. Basically, a lame ass D and a converted WR at RB. Both MIN and DET could be mildly good but they could also be mildly bad.

            In short, seems like a division up for grabs.

          • CanadaBear

            As long as Erin is still a top-tier QB the Pack will be there every year. The Loins seem like they should be better than the Beloved but who knows? The BiQueens really spit the bit in the second half of the season and I expect them and the Beloved to battle it out for the basement.

            My pessimistic view is the OL is already beat up and the WR’s are a disaster. I like the front 7 on D if they can stay healthy. The Bears are due for some decent injury luck but we say that every year! Not sure if DT, Willie, Houston or McPhee get back to their old selves. Actually that’s not true. I don’t think DT or McPhee ever get back to their old selves. I think the safety play is going to be a VERY pleasant surprise this year but have no idea if the CB’s will play better. ST’s seem on the upswing but both the K and P are just guys.

            Of course, a couple of surprise wins and I’ll be much more optimistic.

          • SC Dave

            Starting September 10

          • Bender McLugh

            Jordy is back for the pukes, unfortunately, but him & Rogers are it unless Black Uni feels like playing

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            I would rather him take his lumps and learn. QBs starting for the first time notoriously make mistakes. Even Rodgers in his 1st year starting, after sitting on the bench for 4 years, wasn’t great his 1st year. He flashed greatness but made his mistakes. Let the kid go out there and learn.

          • CanadaBear

            Fair enough. Personally I’m totally happy letting the coaching staff decide.

          • willbest

            I believe the report was Horward was still getting up to speed on his blocking assignments, and despite his amazing running, he wasn’t the best catcher (not that langford was much better).

          • SC Dave

            Howard did say he could not see the ball well until it got close. Hopefully the eye surgery will fix his receiving.

            If so, start expecting yards from scrimmage numbers like Forte’s best seasons.

            If Jordan wants to be #1 in the NFL in yards from scrimmage over his first eight years as a Bear like Matt did, I’d have NO problem with it.

          • leftcoastdave

            RRH is my favorite bubble pick. Gotta keep that dude. And I will be surprised if Unhrein is not traded for something. Look at who the Lions picked up from us already this year.

          • BerwynBomber

            Yeah, RRH has been a beast. Gotta believe more than a few teams’ scouts are watching in case we don’t put that guy on the 53.

          • I think Unrein sticks. They’re likely keeping 6 DL, typical for a 3-4 team.

            Goldman, Hicks, Bullard, Howard, RRH, Unrein. Based on preseason performance and when those guys played on Sunday, this group is separated from the rest of the pack.

          • We need a backup NT given Goldman’s inj history (btw, he’s out with a concussion already).

            All those guys are more DEs.

          • Hicks and Howard can both play NT just fine.

          • And Massie can probably play LT if Leno goes down, but that’s not an ideal situation.

    • willbest

      Why is anybody convinced that a guy who broke his leg twice in two years is going to be outrunning footballs?

      The best thing I can say about White is he seems to have found a jugs machine since last year.

      • evantonio

        You could compliment his smile. That would be a nice thing to say.

    • I think it’s more the lack of deep accuracy than arm strength.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        from what I have seen, short accuracy should be in question too.

        • Bender McLugh

          and that ‘s supposed to be his strength. Gotta be nerves……or not

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            that’s what we need at QB – a Nervous Nelly that throws inaccurate passes to receivers he is staring down. sounds like a recipe for success to me.

          • Bender McLugh

            DA BES

  • Tortured Bear fan

    “If the Bears struggle with Glennon, Fox could lose the locker room. Once that happens, he’s gone”, Foxie took the gamble, the worst can happen is, he would be gone by far week 6 and just delayed Trubisky´s era.

  • To be clear, this wasn’t scripted to have a bunch of these articles. Jeff didn’t ask me to write it, he just told me I can write what I want when I want (which won’t be often during the season).

    I was literally laying in bed Monday night with all these thoughts tumbling through my head, and I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and wrote mine. I dunno about Andrew.

    If it helps, I have something coming up later this week (from earlier this summer) that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

    • King of DBB

      There is no collusion, your honor. We swear.

      Prosecutor: I move this be stricken, we intend to prosecute this Glennon bashing under RICO statutes.

      • CanadaBear

        For once you could swap statues for statutes and the meaning wouldn’t change much!

    • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

      Wood, I agree with your logic and to be completely honest, I didn’t even want a pussy rookie QB when we could have rolled with Cutty, improved the team with straight up killers in the trenches and won some ballgames.
      I thought Trubisky was the wrong pick at the wrong time for this team. Then he stepped on the field, brought fucking electricity and made Mike “the boner killer” Glennon look like he was Jonathan Quinn. Then Glennon had that 1 drive and it fucked it all up.
      I know the Bears have to keep building and having a QB you think you can build around is a solid way to do it. I just want to see them actually build. I think we all thought that when Cutler came on in 2009. We, at least I, thought we were going to see some real pieces to the puzzle brought in and they whiffed on everyone except for Pep.
      I’ll watch regardless but the whole locker room knows what is going on if Glennon plays instead of the #2 Draft pick.

      • King of DBB


      • SC Dave

        From my chair, I think Pace is doing a pretty good job of building a team. He’s just a little outside conventional wisdom in how he’s done it.

        He did say he doesn’t want to be a JAG among GMs, and that requires him to trust his eyes, his scouts, and have the stones to stick with it.

        • CanadaBear

          Looking at the roster now compared to when he took over, is like night and day. It’s almost inconceivable that someone could make JA look like a decent GM but Emery managed that trick.

    • SC Dave


  • leftcoastdave

    Did anyone see Hoyer the Destroyer destroy the ViQueen Sunday night? Or for that matter watch as the 9ers dominated defensively? Of course, I am talking about the first half when the prime time players were all on the field.

    Does anyone even question whether a Glennon led Bear unit will not be better than the Hoyer led 9ers?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      so you are basically asking which turd is the shiniest?

      • leftcoastdave

        I think the plan has always been to revert to a ball control long drive offense to grind down the D not take big risks as was done with Hoyer on Sunday night. Da Bears have a better O line and better runners with which to implement this game plan. We don’t have (unless they are hiding) the receiving corp to rely upon but we do have a great ground game.

        That looks to be the plan. I believe that plan can win the division. That is not a bad plan coming off of last year’s debacles and who would not be happy to see the team in the playoffs?

    • King of DBB

      Everytime you see him on NFL do you start singing?

      “there’s a little yellow man in my head….”


    • In spite of Hoyer being on a SHITTY ass team:

      Hoyer will look better than Glennon.
      But he will also look better than Cutler

      Book it, danno.


  • This article is wrong on nearly every level.

    I. “Fox could lose the locker room. Once that happens, he’s gone.

    1. I’m NO fan of Fox, but I doubt he loses the locker room. I coined him Albino-Lovie for numerous negative similarities, but the ONE saving grace about Lovie is that he NEVER lost the locker room.
    Grown men were balling once he gave them the news he was fired.
    Dunno if Fox rolls that deep, but much like Lovie, he seems to demand respect and maybe even love from the locker room. It would take a complete meltdown, and in which case, play the kid, right?

    2. Who’s to say that’s NOT Pace’s plan anyways?

    The “Think Tank” hired Fox to return the Bears to respectability, nothing more. After the Trestman/Kromer DEBACLE, and McCaskey getting punked in the stands, that was priority #1.

    We’re def not there yet, esp record wise, but the franchise seems to be trending upward and no longer a festering herpe’s sore.

    Next logical step is for Pace to get his HC once Fox goes Fox 8-8ish

    II. “a quarterback who can’t use either Kevin White or Markus Wheaton on anything aside from bubble screens and quick slants”

    1. as others have pointed out, factually incorrect. He may be inaccurate. He may run like a dad. He may have downward trajectory. But, noodle arm is not on his negatives.

    Besides, who is Trub going to throw bombs to? Gentry – a hobbling Wheaton? Thompson? Iron legged White?

  • FF Alert

    I feel like a Better Call Saul commercial playing at 2am on public access, but it’s only for this week…

    TWO spots left

    As of now, we have the magnificent 8: moi, artoo, ender, waffle, shady, nbit, 505, sac

    I will allow 2 more in, but I have to add them simultaneously so that it will be an even 10.

    If need be, we can roll with 8 teams, which is a bit different, so plan accordingly just in case it’s an 8 and not 10 team league

    (in general, this means more $ for ur targets. And in a 2 QB league a LIL breathing space at QB)

    DRAFT DATE: Sep 2, Sat 10ET

    Auction $200 (no real $)
    Waiver wire: blind bid

    That is all.

    Da Commish.

    • Willie

      Can I get up in this? If you find another guy, I’d be happy to join fake football.

      • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

        It’s been a long time Willie, welcome back motherfucker.

        • Willie

          It’s good to be back, ya jerkz!

      • Jes Willie. Yeah, long time!
        I’m 85Bearz4Ever AKA Butch Deadlift in case you’re wondering.

        Haven’t seen you around for a while.

        Let me have ur email so I can invite. Or, I can give u mine and u can send it to me.

        If you’re on twitter and wanna do it that way in PM, here’s my handle.


        • Willie


          • OK. Got it. Invite should be in ur gmail

          • Willie

            I’m in. Thanks! Love the auction – it’s the only way to go…. but this 2QB thing scares me. Haven’t done one of those in years.

          • haha. Yeah, it’s more challenging, that’s for sure, but I think it’s more fun cuz it reflects the NFL more.

            Like, in 2QB leagues, you can’t just ignore Kizer or McCown.

            Those guys will be on rosters, and during byes, are gonna start for some team.

            Just like in the NFL.

            So strategize!

    • FresnoBear88

      Yo put me in coach

  • I feel like I have to put on my Nike Cortez before reading this blog now

    • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

      man, only the Bears could fuck up a first round pick and only fans of the Bears could not want the fucking guy to play even when he’s fucking better. Haha, gotta love it.

      • I’ve been pretty consistent with my Trub stance since Feb.

        I didn’t jump out the window when we drafted him (like MANY regs). Had him rated as the #1 QB in the draft hands down.

        However, I always felt he needed to sit. Originally I thought maybe a whole season, but Trub to his credit has done enough to convince me he can start sooner.

        But opening day vs Hotlanta is TOO soon IMO.

        I compared Jeff to a dude who just got off a nasty divorce proposing to a hot new chick just 3 months in.

        On the one hand, you gotta admire such “all-in” mentality.

        OTH, SLOW UR ROLL, Romeo.

        Glennon is like that cute 6 you call on tues when you’re bored.

        A bridge bitch till you find “the one”. Trub might be the one.

        But have a few taco tuesday quickies first, then move on.

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          I’d agree if we snagged some dude in the 3rd round that had a decent college career. I was not impressed with the pick at the time because I had just watched another year of depressing linebackers in the 40’s , D linemen in the 70’s, old hurt vets and career 3rd stringers playing safety, corner, etc.
          I thought we could add more depth in that draft.
          I’ve come around to a degree but am envisioning bad and frustrating things coming to us from the speed rushers of Atlanta. I don’t think Glennon lumbering back to pass and needing to make a perfect throw every time is the way we should try to do it. He provides no other mode of attack, none.

      • Bender McLugh

        they fucked up the pick eh? who would you have taken?

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          I kind of mistyped. I meant picked him and then find a way to not play him when he’s proven to seemingly play in fast forward and provide energy.

          I would have preferred to solidify DB DL and OL.

          Pace saw something in Shaheen, Cohen and Jackson and they’re being thrown into the mix asap so why can’t we do it with Meeyotch?

          • Bender McLugh

            agreed, did not expect him to come along so quickly, nor Glennon shitting the bed as much as he has.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            We’ll see what happens. I can always fall back on the Dolphins if the Bears become unwatchable.

            And let’s be honest,by gambling against certain brutal fucking teams I can make this season pretty lucrative. Not GP Bitcoin lucrative but lucrative nonetheless.

          • Bender McLugh

            GP, you selling off any of your BitCoin’s barking on the steps outside the NYSE?

          • King of DBB
          • Bender McLugh

            no clicky! no!

          • Bender McLugh

            I did catch the documentary on Netflix “Banking on Bitcoin”, you guys may or may not have already discussed it here. Good stuff, but it really doesn’t go into how it can be hacked/fuckedwith. Very very intriguing. I’m assuming you got in before the two guys were jailed, hence all your monies.

          • King of DBB

            Are you talking about Charlie Shrem or Mount Gox or what?

            Here’s a fundamental thing to understand about bitcoin exchanges: when you buy bitcoin you can download the bitcoin file itself. Into a wallet you possess.

            *or* you can leave the coin online, in the account. Very very risky thing to do, but yet *most* people STILL do this – because holding your own wallet is complicated and risky.

            I chose to hold my own wallet. I did not trust the exchange I got them from and running your own wallet is just the way to go if you can handle the tech.

            When Shrem was busted – the case against him was so fucking specious – ask good ol willbest – but it was the Feds making an example of a guy. First through the door gets shot rule. But many people came after him and did EXACTLY what he did and nothing happened to them.

            What caused bitcoin to explode was not using it on the darknet – that was always happening. What caused it to explode was companies like COMEX and Hedge creeps deciding to place real money there. It exploded from mid 200s into the 4000 range in the space of a couple months. It could just as easily collapse but that will be harder to do.

            In retrospect – like all history – it was easy to see coming – but nobody knew when. I sat on a gamble that I had the money to use. Had I known I would have gone all-in. I didn’t. That’s because it’s hard at the moment of investment to know which way the shit was going to go. Ethereum wants bitcoin to die. But they also want to be able to wipe the ledger and then it’s not the same deal any more and also it’s math allows only them to mine it.

          • Bender McLugh

            I didn’t know about having an offline wallet. I’ll need to look into that.

          • SC Dave

            I think the biggest reason is we don’t know what we’re going to be subjecting him to. After a game or two, we’ll know where the OL stands, for example.

          • Exactly.

            It’s funny because b4 Bears drafted Mitch, all we heard was ,”Bears will be lucky to win 7 games”

            Now that we have Mitch, our roster is suddenly SB bound!

            Where was this unabashed optimism during draft day?


          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            I just think it’s funny that we can ascribe some sort of increased wisdom from Mitch watching from the sidelines for 4 weeks or so and then somehow it’s then ok to play him.

        • King of DBB

          I would take taken Trubisky but with the 3rd pick – which was totally possible since San Fran did not want him – and kept the 2nd and 3rd round picks. Word up.

          • Bender McLugh

            heh, yeah heard that and Pace didn’t believe it and I believe Pace. Pace!

  • King of DBB
    • I dated a graphic arts designer who said that if you want to add “gravity” to a pic/ad/commercial, you use that BW filter/style. Think it has to do with the deep shadows and wrinkles.

      Forgot what it’s called, but apparently our brains are hardwired to react to it a certain way,

      Clock Work Orange = Advertising Agencies.

      • King of DBB

        Do you find that certain professions “date better” than others?

        I, for instance, have a no lawyer policy. female lawyers are universally shitty dates.

        • I hear you about lady lawyers.
          Last thing you need is PROFESSIONAL nagging and arguing.

          I really don’t have a “do not date profession” policy. There are some professions which are like combine red flags though

          1. If a girl’s major is psychology, or she’s a psychologist, etc

          If you think girls play head games, wait till you date one of these. They REVEL in head games, and try to psychoanalyze, manipulate and control you. They get off on that. Or, they’re so deeply fucked up, they’re trying to fix themselves.

          Good luck with that.

          2. Strippers

          Sure, there’s SOME with a golden heart paying for her daughter’s pre-school.
          the other 98% are materialistic hobags with daddy and coke issues

          3. Business management types.

          These women are so jaded and callused from having to put up with balding fat alpha males with erectile dysfunction, that you might as well become gay and date a dude. At least that way you can watch sports together.

          Those are the 3 off the top of my head.
          If Mb were here, I’m sure he’d throw a few more into the mix.

          • King of DBB

            Yes I just dumped a #3. Once they get c-level, they become terrible in nearly all respects. I never dated a #2 but knew the trap of #1s.

          • Yeah, I find the higher women get in “a man’s world”, the more jaded, bitter, and “manly” they get. Like I said, might as well date a dude.

            Or at best, the stress ages them 1,000X over. It’s been my experience that men tend to deal with work stress better cuz we’ve been dealing with male assholes our entire life.

            Oh, and I DO have a “no-go” profession,

            Hot actresses.

            NEVER EVER EVER EVA date a hot actress.


            THEE. WORST.

            In the hierarchy of humanity, they’re slightly above corporate lawyers and spambots.

          • CanadaBear

            My favorites to date were nurses. They’ve seen it all, have a sense of humor, have a lot of empathy and if you’re in a world of hurt they can patch you up! Not to mention they usually drank like fish and were always up for a good time!

          • You know, I was going to say that dating women in the medical profession in general has been a good experience.

            Maybe it’s because they get into that field cuz they have empathy and want to help others?

            That’s a nice quality in a person.

            They also must be somewhat educated, responsible and all which that entails.

            I’ve dated more than a few nurses and even some in other medical field capacities, and they by and large have been cool peeps.

            Though I would prolly stay away from women surgeons.

            They, like their male counterparts, tend to have god-complexes.

          • SC Dave

            This matches my experience.

            My wife was a nurse, although she earned her RN several years after we were married.

          • Yeah, the girl who I came closest to marrying works at a hospital.

            I have an aunt or two who are RNs that are good ppl and have been married for 40+ yrs.

            I used to work for a hospital, so, no, not ALL nurses are sweet. Some just poke patients like a voodoo doll and are collecting paychecks, but I think those might be in the minority.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            I was just going to write the exact same thing.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Sometimes they’ve seen too MUCH.

          • King of DBB

            A hot actress – that’s like a narcissism multiplier triple word score. She has been given deference her whole life since she’s hot AND she’s in a profession that causes one to focus even more on the self.

          • Yes, even if the actress is “aspiring” or a b-movie extra in a straight to vid Stamos flick.

            I guess one would be safe with the kathy bates type…catch 22!

          • AlbertInTucson

            “Never marry an actress. The never stop acting.” -Rex Harrison.

        • Bender McLugh

          ER Docs are CRAY CRAY. Sometimes in a good way, but sometimes not.

  • King of DBB
    • CanadaBear

      You can practically hear the echo in her head!

      • willbest

        Why you such a misogynist? Just because she isn’t a stodgy white boy like Rathers or Williams, doesn’t mean she can’t be equally serious about her craft.

        • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

          Will, she’s a fucking millennial to begin with. What the fuck is some piece of shit 25 yr old millennial going to contribute to anything?
          Fucking millennials.

          uh, and she’s going on as another talking asshole on Hannity. Hannity may be everything that is wrong with our country and the media wrapped up into one little human flesh package.

          • willbest

            I would have thought my selection of Rathers and Williams would have made it obvious I was giving CB shit for dogging on a woman since CB doesn’t like it every time I say something negative about a woman.

            On a more serious note, they are all entertainers. The purpose of the news is to attract eyeballs so you can learn about Toyotas and Viagra. Whatever information they happen to convey is entirely secondary to the primary objective.

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

            I kind of got that but really wanted to just lambast a millennial, who in my opinion, are the worst kind of people on the planet.

          • Bender McLugh

            worse than Gen-Xer’s?

          • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In


          • Gen-Xers created internet porn! and virtual porn! and coming soon to a store near you, robot porn!

          • willbest

            BBS showed up in the early 1980s. The oldest GenXers were still teens at that point. Which is to say internet porn was brought you by the boomers.

          • There was internet porn in 81?

            Why the fuck were me and my friends passing around a torn Hustler mag we inherited from our older brothers, and their older brothers before them…

          • willbest

            I just know that is when the BBS’s started up. I presume the 3rd one ever set up was dedicated to porn, maybe they were slow on the uptake. By the early 90’s when I was active on the internet, usenet (also invented by boomers) was about 50% porn was, and the other 50% was basically reddit (which also has a lot of porn).

            The hyper-intelligent aliens that reproduce asexually have to be completely bewildered that all our advances basically revolve around men trying to get laid, or create better masturbatory aids.

            Then again, if a species produces asexually, what is its motivation to advance?

          • King of DBB

            It was “torn”

            Uh huh

    • But what creepy old rep is left on Fox to harass and molest them?

      • King of DBB

        Poor BillO. So much poon and he’s out in the woods!

    • 505Bears

      Does her resume include an associate’s degree in doing hair and a certification in TV/VCR repair from International Correspondence Schools?

      • I think she’s a fellow Ashland alumni like Sasheen.

        Go Clerks!

        (that’s what I imagine their mascot to be)

  • King of DBB
  • AlbertInTucson

    Cowboys-Texans cancelled, rightfully so.

    “Harvey” cannot be good for the Texans’ ,Astros’ or Rockets’ seasons.

    • willbest

      Hm… I thought they were originally planning to just play the game in Dallas.

      • AlbertInTucson

        That was the original plan, but now that it’s possible, they want to give Houston’s players the opportunity to get back home and assess.

    • willbest

      As for the Rockets, the NBA is still a month away. The city should be functional by then.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Unless your house was obliterated.

        That damn Harvey’s made landfall THREE times now.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      I wish they would cancel all the 4th preseason games

      • willbest

        Feel kind of bad for 54-90 though. They aren’t going to get to put any resume tape together for the lotto ticket onto another team’s 53, or the more likely practice squad placement.

        • willbest

          Just on that note the practice squad pays $7200 per week, which is $122,000 if they manage to stay on it the whole time. That is a lot better than having to go work in the Arena league or CFL.

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis
    • willbest

      Do the packers have somebody that looks like a legit run threat or are they planning to go with fat Eddie and the converted WR?

      • Suns Out, Buns out, Ciggy In

        Eddie is on the Seahawks.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        kind of intrigued by the rookie Jamaal Williams. but their main guy is still Montgomery

      • BerwynBomber

        Converted WR is the #1, which mean expect Rodgers to be their leading rusher in a half-dozen games (I believe that happened last year).

    • AlbertInTucson

      I think there is concern in Packerland about that side of the ball.

      • BerwynBomber

        Said this a day or two ago but if the Cheese would have fired Capers and went out and got W. Phillips or G. Bradley they would be truly dangerous.

        As it is Capers is about a good a DC as Trestman is an OC.

  • willbest
  • King of DBB

    Wait, Goldman is concussed? Already? Jesus.

    • Posted that yesterday. Doesn’t surprise me.

      I don’t know how many times I said we need to sign a quality NT in FA, but what do I know?

      I’m just a humble Commish tumbleweeding my way through life…

      Even IF he does come back for the opener, he’ll likely get inj sometime in-season, then back to the Unrein show.

      • SC Dave

        Guess they better not cut Unrein then.

    • ButtonShoes

      This is why you shouldn’t buy that the Bears have a great defense. How are you supposed to have a great defense if so many of your key players are constantly injured?

  • Data 4-28-17

    “[Trub] not a clipboard holder. He’s going to be the guy for at least 2018 and 2019, hopefully long beyond that.

    Quit thinking about 2017. When you’re bad enough to be drafting #3, you need more than one player to contend. They got the guy who they saw as offering the most long-term value, which is the right approach to take.

    Whether they identified that value correctly remains to be seen, but the fact that he might not play in 2017 has nothing to do with the quality of the pick. Career is vastly more important than rookie year


    Data’s also on record that Watson was superior to Trub

    So, yes, positronic networks can be fallible.

    • willbest

      If Glennon puts together a 65 QBR season while the Bears go 10-6, Trubisky will hold the clipboard next year.

      The Bears would find themselves in an interesting situation if that happen. Would anybody trade for Glennon? Would they trade for Trubisky? What would you want for either in that situation?

      The chances of us having this problem is next to nil, but its as enjoyable to think about as what I would do with $230 million dollars (after cash out and taxes).

    • King of DBB

      Oooooooooh snap.

      Look at you, Mr. fucking Peabody here with the wayback machine.

      Data’s penance is that he now has to be your Sherman for a month.

  • King of DBB

    LOL, it took a second to realize it was satire.


    There was actually about 10 seconds where I had to process thoughts such as: wow that takes balls before I detected the satire.

    Then I read this one and the Lulz flowed free:


    • Babylon Bee is the Christian version of the Onion.

      • willbest

        duffelblog is another good satire site.

        “Army planners solve Korea tensions with proposal to move Seoul 300 miles south”


        ed. reports on “army news”

      • King of DBB

        Did not know that – Thanks

      • willbest

        Speaking of the onion…

        I know this is satire, but if there is any truth in this, how the hell do you all watch this sort of thing?


        • I don’t watch Game of Thrones. I’ve read all the books that are out, which are quite good. I enjoy that they’re fantasy but don’t have the unrealistic “good vs. evil” setup. Instead everybody is in it for themselves, and you get the book from the point of view of a bunch of different characters instead of just one.

          As for this specific reference, I know this did happen. Incest is a thing for one of the families in that world, which is weird. But in this case, it’s an aunt and her nephew, only they don’t know they’re related yet. The guy was raised in a different family and doesn’t know his true parents.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Actually two. Cersei and Jaime have had kids together, and now Jon Snow is banging his Aunty.

    • Malice Halice

      Luv it! By far the best pic showcasing a lot of $

    • #GospelOfProsperity

      Which if you flip the logic, means God hates po folk.

    • SC Dave

      Are you sure that first one is satire and not literal truth?

      And Irish will *hate* the second one about the pretender.

  • willbest

    Tax the rich out of Chicago!

    ” So we have a suggestion: Tax the rich. Or, to put the matter less fliply, we would urge Emanuel to revisit a plan to raise taxes on downtown businesses and high net-worth individuals to fill the hole in CPS’ budget. Neighborhood folks are taking enough of a hit, and downtown is booming.

    If you live in Chicago, you’re now paying a 29.5 percent water bill tax. You’re paying a bag tax of 7 cents. You’re paying a soda pop tax of a penny an ounce throughout Cook County. You’re paying a garbage collection tax of $9.50 a month. And you’re paying your share of $838 million in property tax hikes since 2015 — even before this latest CPS tax hike.

    Maybe, after this, it’s somebody else’s turn, right?”


    The City of Chicago’s problem is that instead of taxing the current residents for the school system they were currently using, they punted. And then when the bills started coming due, instead of taxing the current residents for the bills the residents of 10 years ago ran up, the city sold off revenue generating assets (the skyway tolls, parking meters, red light camera money, etc) for lump sum money to make this year’s budget work. And now we are in a situation where they have only two choices: 1) default; 2) raise taxes on the current residents to fund the bills the residents of the last 20-30 years ran up.

    The only problem with taxing current residents is they can fucking move. And the result is going to be a tailspin ending in Detroit.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      awe I really feel for you poor guys in Chicago. Who would have guessed that years of corruption would finally catch up.

    • SC Dave

      Yes… vote with your feet. Before they charge you an “emigration” tax to leave. Like the Feds have.

      • willbest

        The Feds don’t tax you if you additional to leave. They do however make you settle up on any unrealized gains you have made.

  • Malice Halice

    I REALLY wish we could’ve got Joe Haden. Idk where Anquan Boldin is but we should pick him up. I’m nervous for Jordan Howard (fantasy) I might have to trade him for a receiver

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Boldin retired. If he unretired he would be with Buffalo.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Don’t trade him, just pick up Sterling Shephard or Chris Hogan.

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    New thread….not bashing Glennon. sorta

    • beninnorcal


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