Audibles From the Long Snapper: Ten Days Out From Camp

| July 17th, 2017


You know it’s the dead zone of the NFL calendar when Brad Biggs is doing deep dives into the fullback position. In his Trib piece he dissects what’s at stake for Michael Burton in Bourbonnais. A selection:

Burton enjoyed a productive rookie season for the Lions in 2015 before the position was phased out of the offense midway through last season. The Bears also have Freddie Stevenson, an undrafted rookie from Florida State, on the 90-man roster.

In order for a fullback to make sense on the 53-man roster, and more importantly the 46-man gameday roster, the Bears will have to make better use of the position than they did in 2016. Lasike was active for 10 games, on the practice squad for four weeks and inactive for the final two games. More importantly, he was on the field for only 76 offensive snaps and 34 plays on special teams. Lasike was a developmental player, and a broken wrist in the preseason led to a reduced role at the outset.

Sun-Times Survives?

Honestly, I don’t know what the work is like in the Sun-Times off the sports pages. Honestly, I don’t know even know the non-Bears sports pages. But the Bears writing in the Sun-Times is simply better than the Trib’s army these days. Am I biased? Of course I am. My friend is there. But my friend is also really, really good at his job.

First item on the Eisendrath agenda: FIX YOUR DIGITAL!

RIP Martin Landau

My top ten Woody Allen films:

1. Crimes and Misdemeanors

2. Broadway Danny Rose

3. Annie Hall

4. Purple Rose of Cairo

5. Manhattan

6. Bananas

7. Everyone Says I Love You

8. Hannah and Her Sisters

9. Manhattan Murder Mystery

10. Small Time Crooks

(And I LOVE about five more.)

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  • SC Dave

    It seems forever since the first round of the draft. Bring on football!

    • BearDown100393

      Mitch is already a wily veteran.

      • Elect A Clown. Expect A Circus

        But without a contract. He will be a bench warmer this year…just like he was in college for 2 years.

        • Not that I think it’ll happen, but if Trub doesn’t sign the whole yr, the Bears still own his rights, correcto? (Meaning he can’t re-enter the draft).

        • Irish Sweetness

          Let’s trade!

  • Bender McLugh

    For Woody Allenfilms, Stardust Memories, Zelig & Bullets Over Broadway I really like. And “everything you wanted to know about sex* (*but were afraid to ask)” is a classic. Orgasmitron!

  • BearDown100393

    Martin Landau was a beast.


    • Irish Sweetness

      And a sexy beast at that ….

  • King of DBB

    Ezkiel Elliot arrested for being a dope fightin with dope

  • King of DBB

    Landau as Lugosi:

    best supporting job of all time. Fills the man with an inner drive, the ravages of alcohol, heroin use and a deep pathos.

    • CanadaBear

      And on the flip side he beat out Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. Different strokes of course, but I thought anyone could play a hammy actor on drugs (see Dean Stockwell in Blue Velvet).

      • King of DBB

        But didn’t Sam Jackson just play Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction?

        • CanadaBear

          But it’s so entertaining and that’s really the quintessential Samuel L. Jackson before he played the same character a million times (see John Wayne). As much as anything, I loved Pulp Fiction and thought Ed Wood sucked donkey balls.

  • King of DBB

    Something is amiss here:


    Woman leans in, white pretty lady in pajamas, leans in window to talk to cop in cruiser in an alley on driver side. His partner in the passenger seat pulls his gun and fires ACROSS his driving partner and kills the woman at the car window.

    Neither cop gets out of the car?

    The driving cop would have had a bullet cross right in front of him as the passenger side cop fired into the woman. This seems highly suspect.

    • CanadaBear

      Something doesn’t pass the smell test in this article.

      • Corporal Clott

        I suggest you should treat every news article in such a manner Canada my man.

      • King of DBB

        Now we find out that the bullet went through the car DOOR, not the window.

        I think this may have been an accidental discharge of the weapon.

        • CanadaBear

          I saw that in the article. Fucking crazy. Why would you unholster your gun to talk to a woman who called in a report of a suspicious person outside? Esp a woman in her pajamas.

          • King of DBB

            Exactly. I cannot fathom that drawing the weapon and holding it with your finger on the trigger in your lap is SOP in nearly any scenario. If you drive up on bangers and think the fuckers might ambush you, I should think the manual dictates you stop short and get out of the car as step 1.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            If you met some of my exes in the middle of the night in their pajamas in a back alley I would suggest unholstering a gun if you had one.

          • Are cops nowadays more pussies, are they roiding, or is the training more para military type making them Jones for sweet release? (all of the above?)

          • CanadaBear

            Either something is totally off (like the cop and her were ex’s, etc) or the guy discharged the gun accidentally. Nothing else makes sense. The cop driving can’t be too pleased to have a bullet whizzing past him, not to mention how loud it would be in the car.

            All the cops I’ve known personally were great guys. I worked with about a dozen really great cops at Festivals I was organizing (with others) but these weren’t just random cops. I grew up with 3 friends that became cops and the others were hand picked by the pair of cops that were friends with another organizer. I think it’s the para military thing and there’s something severely lacking in the training and testing.

          • No doubt there are some great cops, but I don’t recall this many HIGHLY questionable shootings b4.

            Maybe cell cams/vids have shun light on the cockroaches, but it just seems like you can’t go a week now with some cop shooting someone for apparently little to no reason.

            I think ever since that HEAT style bank robbery over here in Hollywood, that the training changed.

            They were essentially out-gunned (and out maneuvered) and police depts didn’t want to ever be caught like that again. But fast forward a decade or two, now cops seem to have ittchier trigger fingers. Dunno if there’s a correlation, or there’s other factors , but I think there’s a def rise in death by cops, and it’s not as if cops weren’t in danger in the 80/90s either .

          • CanadaBear

            If you train to people to mimic the military they will. The military has been awash in cash forever and always have the latest and greatest. All the old stuff filters down to all the police forces. Holy crap are the cops armed these days! It’s not like that up here but they still have a healthy presence at large gatherings and are well armed.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Just a thought.

            If you want a job where you get strapped and you have arbitrary power over everyone else, you’re probably deeply insecure and had a very bad time at school.

            Then again, pension schemes, medical, zero-interest house loans …..free gun … sign me up.

          • Johnnywad

            That is completely off base. I know three officers personally and have been friends with each for about a decade. They are fantastic guys and put up with more shit than anybody ever should.

            Take a look at the landscape of society out there. Bear in mind their day to day is dealing with the worst of it. One of them had to got to a scene two years ago where a live in boyfriend had beaten the shit out of a one year old and raped the little boy anally. It died before mom called the cops. He showed up and had to arrest that piece of shit animal without putting a bullet in him. And guess who defended him??????? Yep. Mom.

            There are tragic stories seemingly more frequently about cops harming innocent people. But if you think they’re bad guys that do more harm than good, your brain doesn’t work.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            disagree totally. I know a lot of cops, for the most part very good people, and like Johnnywad said they got to put up with a shit you can not even think of.

    • BearDown100393

      Arm yourself.
      – NRA

    • Sactowns#1

      As I have said and will say 1,000 times. Don’t call the cops. They will most certainly make any situation worse and you may end up dead.

  • Corporal Clott

    If you’re listing your top ten Woody Allen movies, there is no hope for you. Just sayin…

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Greatest molester of all time. Future HOFer.

      damn autocorrect. supposed to be director.

      • BearDown100393

        Michael Jackson challenges that first sentence.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Does anyone know if that story was true or not – the one where police broke open a chained box in his bedroom, containing kiddie and animal torture porn?

  • AlbertInTucson

    Woody Allen Films;

    What, no RADIO DAYS…?

  • BerwynBomber

    I’d go Hannah and her Sisters #1. And Bullets Over Broadway #2. And yes, Crimes and Misdeamoners is way up there. Probably #3.

    Manhattan Murder Mystery was freaking awful.

  • [T]hat damn sure ain’t what playing quarterback is all about,” Arians writes in his new book, The Quarterback Whisperer. “The most important trait needed to become a QB is leadership. But there is no leadership required of the quarterback in [the college] version of the spread. He doesn’t talk to his teammates in the huddle, he doesn’t change the snap count — hell, he barely even reads the defense. The college spread quarterback doesn’t learn the mental and physical skills needed to execute the intricacies of the NFL game. That puts the college spread QBs who aspire to play and succeed in the NFL at a distinct disadvantage.”

    I guess Arians is not a fan of spread Os either which kinda debunks the “extra yr” of college being good for QBs theory. Obviously he’s only one HC but he’s known as a QB guru

    Interesting about Watson tho. No doubt he was a leader, but hey, so was Tebus. still need to read Ds, progress, and throw real routes at close to 70% comp pct.

    • BearDown100393

      Quarterback is arguably the least developed position in college football.

      • And ironically the most important in the NFL.
        If Trubs actually pans out after sitting a season look forward to other GMs “rescuing” spread college QBs and developing them the same way.
        Inexperience might actually turn into a plus for some teams

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          sitting a season? he will be playing after the bye week.

          • Possible. Rams redux

          • CanadaBear

            I honestly hope not only because I’d love to see Glennon have success and see how the team deals with it. I know that’s a real long shot. I’m guessing it’s just the opposite and you’re correct.

          • SC Dave

            Is it that much a long shot?

          • Johnnywad

            Depends on what is meant by “success”. I think he may look capable but still lose ten games.

          • CanadaBear

            Glennon having so much success it jams up Trubisky? Yeah, I’d say that’s a long shot. I’m not down on Glennon at all but he will really have to show something to keep MT on the bench for a second year.

        • Corporal Clott

          Meh… lately, it doesn’t matter who your QB is if you’re a Bears fan. Sigh…

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Trestman was considered a QB Whisperer too. just sayin.

    • BerwynBomber

      “I guess Arians is not a fan of spread Os either which kinda debunks the “extra yr” of college being good for QBs theory.”

      It’s not a “theory”. It’s a fact that all current QB SB winners in the NFL had approximately 3 years worth a starting time, on average, in college. Could Trubisky (or someone else) prove the exception? Of course. But thus far the trend is more playing time in college = better preparation to start in the NFL.

      Spread O’s are a separate issue. Regardless, you’d still want your guy making more starts in college than less. Unless it was at a position like RB where so much wear and tear can shorten an already limited pro career span.

      And in terms of the “extra year” … depends on the individual circumstance. If a guy starts from frosh year to junior year, no reason he should not come out early. Off the top of my head, Rodgers, Brees, R-berger and Eli all started their first three years of college ball. Both Rodgers and R-berger declared after their junior years. Brees and Eli stuck around for their senior seasons.

      • But off the top of my head, those guys (Eli etc) were not in spread Os.
        I could see how an exta yr in an NFL style O could greatly benefit a college QB but if it’s just another yr in a spread O (like Trub would’ve done) , i just don’t see as much benefit for all those reasons Arians pointed out.

        The two guys who i think might be able to pull it off is Cam and Marriota, but haven’t yet

        • BerwynBomber

          Btw, I’m not down on Trisky. I’m largely indifferent about him and in the wait-and-see camp (though I will wonder fi he would have been there for us at #3, but who cares if he pans out) . Nor am I against guys declaring early.

          Was only pointing out the evidence which supports the idea that the more starts a guy has in college the better his chances of success in the pro game.

          • Nah, I don’t think it’s an argument against Trub, cuz look at Watson. He had all the experience a team could want, but I would bet all 32 teams still graded Trub much higher.

            Any starting experience would benefit a young QB, but IMO I don’t think a very Spread/Read-O will fastrack a college QB, and might in fact, hardwire habits that will be detrimental in the NFL.

            But not all college programs run the same style spread. Some like Oregon I think use more NFL type schemes while others like the Red Raider attack is just video game shit that will never fly in the NFL as is.

            So kinda like I originally stated a few threads back. I don’t think there’ll be a template going forward because so many factors at QB.

            Could be all the 17 QBs bust. Could be Peterman or Kaaya become Kirk Cousins. Never really know.

            But I know if I were GM I would really shy away from QBs in a heavy Spread/read college O.

            The one which I liked most was Mariotta but that’s because he also had a high comp % and limited turnovers, which to me proves he has a flexible brain.

      • SC Dave

        It’s also a fact that all current QB SB winners played on good teams.

        • BerwynBomber

          That is a given with “SB winners”. Closest to one-man band might have been Brees.

  • King of DBB
    • Hey, that’s the way to do it.

      Start a cult. Tax free biathces!

      • SC Dave

        Worked famously for a failed sci fi writer called L. Ron Hubbard.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Panthers fire their GM Dave Gettleman.


    AFTER the draft?

    1 season removed from a Super Bowl Appearance.

    Somebody must have said SOMETHING that couldn’t be UNsaid.

    Wonder what will bubble to the surface.

    • And the Chiefs fired their GM too recently, right?

      Dunno what’s going on there. Only thing I can guess is Owner-GM-HC powerstruggle, which never ends well.

    • SC Dave

      Wow… no shit. Did he piss Cam and/or Luke off?

      Perhaps some turpitude that the org would rather have quietly disappear?

  • AlbertInTucson

    Bar fight.

    Fingers are being pointed at…

    Ezekial “I am not a Rocket Scientist” Elliot.



    The Incidents (Yanked a woman’s shirt down on St. paddy’s Day) are starting to build up on this guy.

    • Bender McLugh

      Being in Dallas will help

      • AlbertInTucson

        For sure.

        Stopping by the Weed Dispensary when the team was in Seattle last season wasn’t a good look, either.

        • CanadaBear

          At some point the NFL will grow up about weed. Pulling down that girl’s shirt was fairly harmless other than who he was. I don’t go around condoning exposing women’s breasts but she was definitely flaunting the girls. Totally agree it’s all stupid stuff and he needs to wise up a bit. He might have to sit in the principal’s office for a week or two.

          • AlbertInTucson

            I don’t disagree but that day is not here, yet.

            Elliott needs a keeper.

          • CanadaBear

            He definitely has that sense of entitlement going Big Time. Part of me hopes he gets his shit together because it’s the right thing to do. The other part of me hopes he keeps going down that road to screw over the Cowgirls.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Dez Bryant would SEEM to have finally wised up.

            A least a bit.

    • BearDown100393

      Will wait for facts to sort out.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Here is a fact: There is an awful lot of crap following Zeke Elliott around these days.

        • BearDown100393

          Purely co-incidental. Nothing to see here. Move along people.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Because the Cowboys don’t have enough players headed for suspensions.

          • BearDown100393

            Choir boys

          • AlbertInTucson

            Making Michael Irvin proud!

  • King of DBB

    Panthers fire GM.

    Players on OTHER teams tweet out how happy that the “snake is dead”.

    DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith and others tweet their hate. Then Cam Newton retweets and says “we know how you feel”

    Man that GM had to have been a motherfucker. His name was SC Dave Gettlemen.

    • When Steve Smith calls you an asshole, that is HOF asshole material.

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        who hasn’t Steve Smith called an asshole?

    • BearDown100393

      The jungle roars its approval. Telling.

    • BerwynBomber

      Something smells. Dude is semi-responsible for getting the club the post-season in three of his four years there (including an SB appearance) and he is fired in … July? Seems very bizarre.

      In terms of Williams, Smith, Norman, etc., pissing on his grave … meh. Can easily chalk that up to thin-skinned, disgruntled vets still mad about their home team taking a pass on them. We have certainly seen that over the years here too. And frankly, I don’t know if it is that good of a look for those guys unless some real bad shit surfaces about the GM.

  • BearDown100393

    Hot seat for Rivera?

    • Nah. I think he’s in the same position as Lovie was. Team is competitive (even lost a SB like Lovie) and in WC hunt almost every season.

      Unlike Lovie, he has a QB, though I do wonder if Cam punking out and not diving for that ball in the SB lost his teammate’s respect. Doesn’t seem to have that swag anymore post SB.

  • Meh, it’s slow. Some quick hiits Bears edition:

    The Chicago Tribune’s Rich Campbell writes the Bears plan for Mike Glennon to start all season.

    Campbell adds there is no quarterback competition and “Glennon’s grip on the job” is strong. That said, the Bears are not going to hold down second-overall pick Mitchell Trubisky if the rookie looks ready, and this would not be the first time a team intends to start a veteran all year only to bench him for a young quarterback midway through the season. Despite Chicago’s intentions, the safe money
    is still on Trubisky seeing the field this year. – Roto

    Hope this gets done, soon.

    The Chicago Tribune’s Dan Wiederer writes Bears DE Akiem Hicks “seems like a prime candidate for an early extension.”

    Signed to a two-year, $10-million deal before last season, Hicks was a monster his first year in Chicago, notching seven sacks and standing strong against the run. Now entering his contract year, the
    Bears may look to get a long-term deal done before Hicks is able to up his value again with another strong season. With a solid front seven and improved secondary, the Bears should take a step forward on defense this season. – Roto

    We all know this already, and hate to be cynical, but Long will likely play hurt, be ineffective, then be replaced by Kush by week 4.

    The Bears will switch Kyle Long (ankle) to left guard.

    Josh Sitton will move to the right, where he played with the Packers. The move will mean Long has now played three positions along the line in just five seasons. Long could begin camp on the active/PUP list following complications from his November ankle operation, but he is on track for Week 1.- Roto

    • Irish Sweetness

      “Campbell adds there is no quarterback competition and “Glennon’s grip on the job” is strong.

      But Pace has said this from day one. There is zero to be gained from ‘fooling’ us as to whom the starter will be. Less than zero. Mike is the QB until he breaks his leg

      • SC Dave

        I’m of the opinion that Glennon will play well enough that there is no reason to rush Mitch.

        • Glennon just has to be McCownish, no, to keep the rabble from booing to wanting Trub?

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            BOO!!! START TRUB!!!!

          • Bender McLugh

            the rabble won’t influence the decision to start Trubs. Losing will.

          • SC Dave

            It depends, but I think he’ll be better than McCown.

          • CanadaBear

            He certainly has a better arm.

        • Bender McLugh

          my hope has sprung, and I’m okay with that

    • Irish Sweetness

      We were terrible on the RHS last season running it. How much of that was Long’s fault we’ll see now.

      • CanadaBear

        Jordan averaged 5.2 yds/carry. It wasn’t all up the middle or on the left side.

        • And Jordan supposedly went on a diet to slim up a bit so that he could break longer runs.

          Might make his avg go up if those 20 yders turn into 50 TDs.

          • SC Dave

            Hopefully; I think the idea was that he would not tire so quickly.

            Of the Bears 52 running plays of 10 yards or more, NONE went for TDs. That is a rather mind-boggling stat to me.

            Of those 52, 43 were by Howard. His, and the team’s, longest TD run of the season was 9 yards (the one where he trucked Clinton-Dix methinks). A little more endurance and he might have had several longer ones.

            Another thing I’m hoping is that Cohen can hit the home run. That was supposed to be the thing with Langford, but he simply cannot break a tackle.

          • And Benny the Jet has explosive plays on his resume too.

            I think that’s what Pace wanted on O and specials.

            More homerun hitters to make it easier on the QB.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            since when does Benny have explosive plays on his resume? you guys give him WAY too much credit.

          • CanadaBear

            I think he found out college football shape is not NFL football shape. Good on him! He looked more solid at the same weight in a pic I saw. He can increase his burst with training. I remember Forte worked on it and it paid off.

      • SC Dave

        Using the Game Play Finder on pro-football-reference…

        Run location / total plays / avg to go / ypc / first downs

        Left end / 67 / 8.33 / 6.01 / 23
        Left tackle / 56 / 8.54 / 5.75 / 16
        Left guard / 61 / 7.16 / 3.02 / 16
        Center / 37 / 8.16 / 5.14 / 13
        Right guard / 63 / 8.51 / 3.54 / 9
        Right tackle / 41 / 8.56 / 3.98 / 8
        Right end / 41 / 7.83 / 6.29 / 12

        So the numbers pretty much back up with Irish said – interior running, particularly on the right side, was not great.

        Granted, this is a fairly simple analysis (and seems to be missing a few runs), but it is some actual data.

        • willbest

          My love for WH grows.

        • Does left/right end refer to outside the OTs shoulder (as in sweeps)?

          If so, we’re pretty dynamic at sweeps (which tends to require nimble pulling OGs which conversely might explain the power run up the middle suffering – aren’t we supposed to be a power-run team?)

          I also wonder how Sitton/Long did vs say Larsen/Kush – LarsenKush combo seemed to dominate that Vikes Dline

          And as always, the Oline more than any other unit relies on chemistry more than brute athleticism, so any time a new guy must step up, he’s gotta learn to tango with the crew.

          Edit. I never really conceived us as a “sweep” team. This in theory should also mean we’re effective in bootlegging since good sweeps set up bootlegs.

          • SC Dave

            I scrolled around the site a bit looking for the definition, but it’s not clear what that means. One could assume strong side it would be outside the tight end, but on the weak side, who knows?

            The other thing I don’t know is let’s say the RB bounces an off-tackle run to the outside (i.e. not in the original “hole”). What does that become?

            So as I said, it’s really pretty simplistic, but it’s better than nothing I suppose.

  • BerwynBomber

    So WAS and Cousins can’t work out a deal. First QB ever to play two years in a row on the franchise tag. Btw, theoretically franchising a guy for a year is okay. But doing it two years in a row seems a bit dumb.

    Would be surprised if Cousins doesn’t land in SF with Shanny Jr. in ’18.

    • Cousins is def playing for SF (or maybe even Chargers if Rivers retires).

      That was the whole plan all along. That’s why SF didn’t even bother with a QB this season.

      They’re doing what many (like MB) wanted the Bears to do. Play Hoyer. Build the D. Wait till next season for a QB.

      Only thing is, the 9ers are all but guaranteed a franchise QB in Cousins, while the Bears would’ve been hoping to lose enough for a top 5 pick AND still throw a few 1st rounders to move up.

      According to the Foreskins, Cousin’s agent didn’t even give a counteroffer. They were eying SF all along, and Lynch knew it.

      • BerwynBomber

        And the Foreskins’ president called him “Kurt” five times on a message he posted on the team’s website. Hilarious.

        Well, technically SF could have also been keeping their powder dry for the ’18 class of rookie QBs. So who knows. But I’d bet they sign Cousins and if their pick is high enough auction it often to the highest bidder, or if the QBs are gone, select the best D or O stud.

        Any insight on Rivers retiring? I just assumed that guy would go till he’s 40. Like Brady and Peyton, it is not like he ever relied on his mobility.

        • Yeah, having a franchise QB in your backpocket is a nice luxury, esp since they gutted that team, and it will indeed get a high draft pick.

          But it’ll be hard to “beat” the obviously tanking Jets and Browns.

          SF will also need as many draft picks as possible for cap cuz Cousins will likely make more than Luck when he does sign.

          • BerwynBomber

            Isn’t Carr the highest paid QB now? But yeah, point taken.

          • Is Carr now the highest paid? Wouldn’t doubt it.
            Esp since they pushed his bonuses for when he moves to Nevada.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Are we comparing Hoyer with Kirk, Butch?

        Why Sanchize is on our roster instead of Kaep, I don’t know.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          My guess is the Bears don’t want to take a chance that one of their QBs is not standing for the National Anthem in a stadium named as a memorial to soldiers who died in combat.

          • Bender McLugh

            and the locker discord that comes with all of that

          • Bender McLugh

            locker room discord

          • Johnnywad

            Especially when you can get another quarterback that throws it to the wrong team just as much without all the drama.

        • SC Dave

          Because Kaep is no better than Sanchez, and comes with a truckload of baggage.

          • AlbertInTucson

            In PR terms, he’s radioactive.

        • No.
          Comparing Hoyer to Hoyer in that for us he couldve been a stop gap till 18 just like what the 9ers are doing till Kirk comes over.
          I thought we might do the same but fir Garrapollo but his situation is much murkier

        • Johnnywad

          Because Kaep has a giant Afro and hates America. At least according to some.

          Also, supposedly Sanchez mentored Dak. For my part, I would guess Romo did more for him than Sanchez. Why would anybody listen to Sanchez when Romo is in the room with you?

          • willbest

            There are limits a person on IR is allowed to participate in team activities.

          • SC Dave

            Maybe because Sanchez is a better teacher?

            Just because somebody can do something does not mean they can teach it.

        • Malice Halice

          Black oppression is y. Kaep is toxic, we could’ve got him b4 last year was over and had a better FA and Draft this year but NOPE!

      • BearDown100393

        Cousins must love working for crappy owners.

    • willbest

      There is no incentive for Cousins. He is getting 24 mil guaranteed, and even if it is an off year Glennon just got 18 so some one will at least give him that. That is 42 mil basically in the bank.

      • BerwynBomber

        Mostly agree BUT pro athletes, ESPECIALLY NFL players, love guaranteed money. So I wouldn’t be shocked if WAS is lowballing him in relation to the market. Of course the irony is they probably could have gotten him long-term for much cheaper a year or two ago.

        This is a classic case of an organization not having a plan and simply reacting. Arguably the only way out of their mess for now is to trade him.

        • BearDown100393

          Leave it to Washington to not even know the name of their starting quarterback.

  • Irish Sweetness

    I don’t even have a top one Woody Allen list. Everything you wanted to know about sex? Maybe? Annie Hall beating out Star Wars for best Picture is obviously a snob-joke. Nobody gives a fuck about Annie Hall, and it’s amazing to me that a pedo-bear like Allen gets diplomatic immunity for banging his daughter.

    Good morning America!!!

    • CanadaBear

      I was watching the Jim Jeffries show and he had a funny bit about famous people doing bad things and the likelihood they would be prosecuted based on their popularity. He touched on Woody Allen but the funniest bit was about Roman Polanski. He said Roman gave a 13 year-old girl Quaaludes and had anal sex with her in Jack Nicholson’s hot tub. He smiled, looked at the camera and said “I’m pretty sure there is a crime in there somewhere!”

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        anal rape is not funny CBear.

        • willbest

          I think Jefferies is the comic with a bit that explains why rape jokes are funny.

        • CanadaBear

          He had preceded that with a scathing rebuke of all these celebrities. Humor can be just as damaging to a reputation as a diatribe.

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            Just f’ing with you, I saw Jeffries bit. It was just the way you wrote it seemed odd.

          • CanadaBear

            My bad I guess. Trust me, Roman Polanski is not exactly my hero.

          • BearDown100393

            He will be dealt with

          • Irish Sweetness

            Makes great movies though.

          • CanadaBear

            Loved Chinatown.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Only if Sam Kinison is doing it.

          The joke, not the bumming.

      • Malice Halice

        HIGHLY underrated show. That show went over a lot of ppl heads

    • BearDown100393

      Riggs ain’t got no time for immunity.

  • BerwynBomber

    Ah, the smell of camp a week away. NFL news is even heating up with the Cousins, CAR and ‘zeke nonsense.

    Very brief/quick overview of NFLN teams’ offseason leads me to believe three of the four franchises improved themselves via FAs and the draft. And unfortunately the one that didn’t still has Rodgers.

    Anyway, camp and preseason should be fun this year. Despite Fox’s wet blanket act.

    • BearDown100393

      Prediction: Last Bears camp not to charge for tickets

  • fishing florida

    I miss you Cutty!!!!

  • King of DBB

    Who was that Steelers RB who started saying the NFL was like slavery and they were all toiling in the fields of the plantation?

    I don’t believe he is in the league anymore.

    Elliot is about to follow the guy. Now Elliot has a ticket for going 100mph in a 35 zone and is talking smack.

    • CanadaBear

      Had to look it up. Rashard Mendenhall. He was following up on some point AP was trying to make. Uh, no. It’s not like slavery at all. It might be a meat market and a cut throat business but that ain’t slavery!

      • King of DBB
      • BearDown100393

        We are all slaves

        • Corporal Clott

          No, you are a beast of the field. That’s one step up frome being a slave. Hee hee

          • Irish Sweetness

            Slaves to the Rothschilds, old boy. Yes we are.

          • Malice Halice

            What is that statement from? I just read that somewhere.

          • Link please.

          • Corporal Clott

            Aah…the ole red shield subterfuge. Who are they shielding Irish?

      • SC Dave

        As I recall, there were a number of people on this blog that pilloried Angelo for picking Matt Forte over Mendenhall.

        • TBT


          I could’ve sworn Forte ran a slow 40, like a 4.6 and that’s why he fell. Also, in typical Angelo fashion, Forte was coming off a knee inj.

          For once that didn’t bite the Bears.

          His scouting report was rather accurate.

          In sum, all around player with size, hands, but no second gear or ankle-breaking shiftiness but seems to get stronger as the game wears on.

          His comp was Eddgerin James. Forte may have had a better career than him esp when one considers the supporting cast around Forte.

          • SC Dave

            Went to look, and have to (sorry) give the edge to James.

            But he had Manning and a perennial division winning team and piled up huge stats his first two seasons.

            A good comp btw. On the same team, I’m thinking they would have been very much equal.

            Edit: James scored more TDs (both an individual and team stat imo). And fumbled more than twice as much as Matt (as individual a stat as can be)

          • Yeah, that’s what I mean by “supporting” cast.

            Peyton always put that O in the best position to run or pass. And I’m sure that Oline was MUCH better than the Webb/Carimi crap Forte had to follow.

            Add in some blow-out type stats when the Colts were milking the clock, and easy to see how James can def get more stats.

            Ultimately though, I agree. They’re about the same if you switch them out.

            Hall of very good.

            I’m still rooting for Forte to rack up at least 2 more Forte type seasons (and a ring wouldn’t hurt).

            I think at that point, he’ll at least be seriously considered.

            Why he joined the Jets and not the Pats is beyond me.

    • willbest

      Was it at least an office park on the weekends?

  • willbest

    Canada is paying Khadr 10.5 million? Its only $7 million if you straight murder him. Less than $3 million if you can make it look like a wrongful death. Dead men tell no tales and all.

    • BearDown100393

      11 million open contract to kill John Wick

  • PFT preview of the Meows


    Interesting about Stafford. Never considered him leaving, esp now with Cooter, but maybe he does.
    The Texans and Donkeys are always in the QB mix, but if Brees, Rivers or Palmer retires, those are three places infinitely better than Detroit.

    • BearDown100393

      The Lions have wasted a lot of talent since Sanders.

      • willbest

        At least they have had a lot of talent to waste

        • SC Dave

          I up voted all three, but totally fail to continue the escalation of better answers

  • BearDown100393
  • King of DBB

    Waffle does a vlog about the upcoming season….

    • willbest

      Amazing this has almost 15k views

    • He forgot about Demps.

      NVM SB, but how the Bears can transform into a winning team.

      1. One-Dump Fox must somehow inspire, coach, and gameplan like he’s not a hard-dump away from Del Boca Vista.

      When the team doesn’t come out like zombies, or fails to make half-time adjustments, or quits (yeah, they quit at the end of the season), then we’ll see. The most important factor in the Bears winning also happens to be the least plausible: Fox recreating this team Ditka style.

      2. Oline/QB staying healthy.

      A healthy Oline can make-up for a lot, helping out the QB, WRs and HB. It also happens to be our strength, so it’s the easiest path to forming an identity, chewing up clock (resting the D) and scoring. Needless to say, Glennon must remain healthy and Hoyerish to get over the hump.

      3. Play-makers must create TOs on D.

      Dunno where they’re gonna come from. I’m leaning more and more towards Irish’s position that Fangio is Lovie-2 in his constipated philosophy but sans the Mike Brown, Lach, T-Harris or Pepp.

      These guys gotta step up: Hicks, Goldman, Prince, Demps, Floyd.

      If not, it’s gonna be more of the same. Death by paper-cuts

      Bonus. Specials.

      It’s sorta gone under the radar, but our specials have been revamped.

      KR. Love Benny the Jet. This doesn’t seem like a guy who’ll take it out to the 13 and get tackled

      At PR it really gets interesting with Cohen, Thompson and HOFer Braverman

      Prosinksi and McMannis are also reliable gunners.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Healthy O-line? We NEED an OL. Two tackles.

        • Did you read SCs link below?

          Howard actually ran better off-tackle.
          And when Cargo wasn’t holding the ball too long getting stripped sack, Barkley and esp Hoyer did a good job of not getting sacked.

          Not saying Leno and Massie are AP, but at least they stayed healthy last yr (unlike Sitton and Long) and seemed to do OK.

          Besides, last off-season was brutal for attaining an OT, in FA, or the draft.

          No sense in reaching.

          Pace was eyeing that RT from the Ravens, but it fell through, so we’ll see, but our OTs aren’t horrible and if they could step it up, could become dominant.

          Ppl forget Leno was a 7th rd Emery pick.

          Dude could be MUCH worse (see, Webbnation)

          • BerwynBomber

            Other than play-calling, Oline play engenders some of the most unrealistic criticism among Bears fans. The last four years we’ve had, AT WORST, an average Oline, and at times it has definitively been above average.

            Said this before but will repeat: if you have 3/5 of a good O-line (Long, Whitehair, Sitton) you’re arguably above average in comparison to the rest of the league. (And again, at worst, average.) And as you indicated, Leno and Massie aren’t unmitigated disasters.

          • Yeah, no team has 5 AP olinemen.

            Cowboys come closest, but they invested a 1st in LT Smith, C Frederick, RG Martin and “stole” Collins at RT with that whole ‘he may have murdered his pregnant X” debacle.

            But Collins is taking over retired Doug Free at RT, so he’s not proven there yet, and at LG they’re starting some dude name Chaz.

            In other words, unless one argues that the Bears should’ve drafted a LT in this past draft, and somehow lucked into another 1st RD RT who falls due to suspected murder, then shouldn’t complain.

            Our interior has 3 PB caliber dudes, and it all starts there.

  • willbest

    I will take typos that make the story more accurate for $1000 Alex


    • AlbertInTucson


  • King of DBB

    Here is like… Jeff’s younger brother. Stewie. Stewie Hughes.

    Stewie is just JONESING playing Madden 17 for some Beardown masturbatory fantasy action here… Trubisky to Meredith for the score! Woooo!


    • Bender McLugh

      What’s not to like?

  • Bender McLugh

    Fuck me…… Making amends for attributing Orgasmatron with Everything you wanted to know about sex….. It’s nit, it’s from Sleeper, which is also a great film.

  • King of DBB

    Ron Mexico tells Kap to cut his hair.
    Kap tweets that Vick is Uncle Tom

    Shit gets real

  • King of DBB

    Ron Mexico tells Kap to cut his hair.
    Kap tweets that Vick is Uncle Tom

    Shit gets real

    • Bender McLugh

      Doubly so

  • AlbertInTucson

    So, Zeke Elliott has found a way to shift attention from the bar fight incident.

    By changing his plea on a speeding ticket for doing 100 mph in a 70 zone from “No Contest” to “Not Guilty.”

    • willbest

      You would think his agent which stands to make 700k-1.2 million on Zeke’s second contract in 3 years would be his shadow right about now preventing him from doing something stupid.

      • AlbertInTucson

        YOU would think.

        And so would I.

        Apparently Zeke MAJORED in “Stupid.”

  • Best Woody Allen creation?

    Larry David.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Not “Adopting is future wife”…?

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    Jesus! ESPN sucks. I went to their website to see some baseball highlight clips(Note: I haven’t been on their site for a long time) Every clip I clicked on had at least a 15 second commercial to start for a 20 second clip. Just Ridiculous.

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