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THE GAME POEM
In a caffeinated city, darkened by the nimbus of perpetual rainfall
An umbrella is raised.
Quietly. Sadly.
As if by a man apologetic for wanting to remain unsoiled by the coming drizzle.
A NOT-SO-QUICK THOUGHT
There is a growing movement of individuals wishing for the Bears to “tank” the season to increase their draft position. This is a flimsy position. Here’s why:
- The only position tank-worthy is the sure thing quarterback. And people don’t realize how rare those are. How many QBs in the league essentially guarantee their team will be in the playoffs/a playoff contender? 4-5? And outside of Andrew Luck and Peyton Manning, how many of those do you think were top 10 draft picks? Roethlisberger wasn’t. Brady and Rodgers weren’t. Do you believe Drew Brees or Joe Flacco or Russell Wilson is one of those guys? None of them in the top ten. (Eli Manning and Phil Rivers have proven they don’t put their team in the postseason every year.)
- Is there a guaranteed elite quarterback in this draft? The two consensus first rounders are Cal’s Jared Goff and Michigan State’s Connor Cook. Are either organization changers? (And for me, Robert Nkemdiche is the second coming of Suh.)
- The Bears don’t have to tank. They’re not any good. They can go out there and fight like hell every week and still not win more than 5 games. (Especially if Jimmy Clausen remains involved.)
- There’s always a way to move up in the draft and grab the elite player. Does anybody criticize the Falcons anymore for sacrificing so much for Julio Jones? Of course not. Because he’s proven to be a great player and great players are worth multiple draft picks.
The top five pick guarantees nothing other than a less than 50/50 shot of finding an all pro player.
IRISH VIDEO OF THE WEEK
This is international rugby referee George Clancy (a friend of mine) getting absolutely housed whilst calling a match.
ANOTHER THOUGHT ON “TANKING”…
Don’t believe for one second any Bears fan who tells you they “want” the Bears to lose. They don’t. Fans who root for their team to lose are either (a) not fans or (b) doing so in order to avoid the pain they feel from losing. People, especially sports fans, are uncomfortable with feeling sad about a sporting event. So instead of watching a game and acknowledging their actual emotions, they fabricate new ones.
The Bears play the Seahawks Sunday. And if you’re a fan who will be upset should the Bears pull off the upset, I only have one question: why the fuck don’t you do something else with your Sundays?
WATCH OUT FOR TYLER LOCKETT
Here is Pete Carroll on Lockett’s week one performance:
“He’s a receiver that returns kicks, I don’t think it’s the other way around,” Carroll said. “… I would say, yeah I think I’m surprised at that much (playing time). The game called for a lot of three receivers and all that, probably didn’t come into the season thinking he would be that active, but he’s been fantastic and he’s so supremely conditioned and all. He’s just worked so hard, it’s not a big deal to him at all. So he’s kind of just a regular part of the offense now. I really think he’s a receiver that’s returning kicks. We thought of him probably, ‘we’ll figure that other part out, let’s get him to be the returner,’ and we went about it that way, and he took it over and showed us that we need to think the other way.”
I wanted the Bears to draft Lockett desperately and picked him as my non-first round offensive rookie of the year. After seeing the amount of trouble John Brown’s speed gave the Bears corners, I wouldn’t be surprised if Marshawn Lynch’s mom’s favorite offensive coordinator dials up a few deep balls for Lockett.
THREE BEARS OF INTRIGUE
- With the Seahawks employing read-option significantly into their offense, the outside linebackers will have to stay home and protect the edge. Pernell McPhee, Jared Allen, Lamarr Houston and Willie Young will find themselves in a steady rotation and the name of the game will be discipline. (This disciplined approach will also put these guys on their heels and limit their ability to get after the quarterback.)
- Kyle Long took some huge strides last week at right tackle but he’ll be facing the ferocious attack of a desperate defense in a building where he won’t be able to hear anything other than the deafening screams of an over-caffeinated fan base.
- Bears need to be sturdy up the middle of their defense as they prepare to face Marshawn Lynch. That means Eddie Goldman will need to grow up Sunday afternoon and deliver the kind of space-eating performance the team requires.
STAT OF THE WEEK
It is actually three stats.
In the gray column, the zero, is the number of sacks the Bears have registered this season. They are one of only two teams to sport a zero in that column.
The number to the left of the gray column is the number of interceptions the Bears have this year. That interception, of course, was made by Jared Allen.
The number to the right of the gray column is the opponent’s passer rating against the Bears. It is FIVE POINTS WORSE than the team ranked 31st in that category.
So as I’ve been writing since May, the Bears secondary is on pace to be historically bad.
WHY I DON’T LIKE RUSSELL WILSON (PERSONALLY)
I believe @Recovery_Water helped prevent me from getting a concussion based on a bad hit! 😇 #NanoBubbles
— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) August 26, 2015
Russell Wilson is full of shit. He’s as full of shit as those stupid motivational posters douche bag lawyers put on their office walls that feature pointless platitudes like “Winner Go the Extra Mile” with a picture of a sweaty fella running at dawn. Wilson wants to sell the fans on his perfect personality and I’ve always held the belief that you should be wary of anybody trying to sell you anything.
And if you bring up God a whole bunch when it comes to your athletic performance, there’s something wrong with you. Simple as that. You’re not all there.
GAME PREDICTION
I just can’t envision any scenario wherein the Bears win this game.
Seattle Seahawks – A Bunch of Points, Chicago Bears – Significantly Less Points
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