I am heading to Baltimore this weekend for a Crab and Beer Festival so I figured I’d have some “fun” with my Friday column.

Washington Monuments

Phallic and delightful, the Washington Monuments helmets could immediately become the most interesting in the NFL.

D.C. Comics

City listed? Check. But I’m not putting Superman on my helmet. My helmet looks like this:

Washington Watergate

What more symbolizes the degenerate, paranoid, shifty culture of Washington D.C. than the Watergate Hotel? And the helmets could rotate burglars (collect em all!).

 

While I am drinking and eating crabs, I want you to submit yours below. Silly, please. Nothing realistic.