243 Comments

Ranking The Bears: The Long & Longish Shots

| July 19th, 2017

Training camp is just around the corner and the Bears have a number of young players with whom fans should become familiar. They also have a number of players who you won’t remember existed this time next year.

This is my second year doing a ranking of the roster and long gone are the likes of Kieran Duncan, Ben LeCompte and Joe Sommers. Last year’s list was topped with quarterback Jay Cutler — an argument I’d still make — but looking back it’s easy to see why the Bears didn’t win many games. This year, the bottom of their roster is much better and their top 10 is legitimately good.

At the time of this writing, the Bears have a full roster with 90 guys ready to head to camp. You don’t need to know all of them, but you probably want to. To save you some time, I ranked them all again.

You’re welcome.

90. Mitchell Kirsch, OL. UDFA from James Madison. Really hard to judge what he’ll be. Good size, average athleticism.

89. Hendrick Ekpe, Edge. UDFA who didn’t produce much at Minnesota or test very well at his pro day.

88. William Poehls, OT. Huge guy (6’7″, 334 pounds), Was a UDFA from Montana who has spent time on a couple of practice squads.

87. Titus Davis, WR. Third-year pro who has had trouble sticking with a team. Put up decent numbers at Central Michigan, but it’s hard to see him making the team. His brother Corey was the fifth pick in the draft last April.

86. Rashaad Reynolds, CB. A bit small (5’10”, 189) but jumped well at the combine in 2014. Hasn’t been able to stick after spending time with the Jaguars and Lions.


85. Daniel Braverman, WR. The next Wes Welker, right? Not quite. After what many thought was a strong training camp, Braverman didn’t make the final roster last year and nobody claimed him. When he finally got on the field, he had a tough time getting open and didn’t make anywhere near the impact many thought he would. Easily the winner of the 2016 Joe Anderson Boner Award. Could he repeat in 2017?

Jeff’s Note: Hahah.


84. Isaiah Irving, Edge. Decent size and showed explosiveness at his pro day with a 36-inch vertical, but lacked in other athletic tests. Had seven sacks as a senior at San Jose St., but combined for just four in his first three years.

83. Kapron Lewis-Moore, DL. Notre Dame alum has spent some time with the Ravens before coming to the Bears. Appeared in three games in 2015.

82. Dieugot Joseph, OT. Good height, needs to add some weight.  Physical skills, needs a lot of coaching.

81. Joel Bouagnon, RB. Has good size and decent athleticism, but he’ll have an uphill battle.

80, Rashaad Coward, DL. Great size (6’5″, 322) and athleticism for the position. UDFA from Old Dominion will need some coaching, but he has a shot to stick.


79. Alex Scearce, LB. UDFA from Coastal Carolina. Maybe a little small, but he’s a good athlete. Had 84 tackles, eight sacks and five interceptions last year. Could be a sleeper.

Jeff note: I’m going to keep an eye on this kid. Strikes me as somebody who fits the physical profile of a prolific, tenacious special teamer.


78. Connor Shaw, QB. A hero of last year’s preseason despite throwing just 16 passes. He’s a classic garbage time star because he plays well outside of structure, but there’s no real evidence that he can play in structure. Bears already cut him once and brought him back only because Mark Sanchez was injured.

77. Freddie Stevenson, FB. Some are high on the UDFA from Florida State, but the Bears signed a veteran even after seeing him throughout minicamp.


76. Tanner Gentry, WR. The UDFA from Wyoming who had a huge part in the hype surrounding Josh Allen. Word is he had a good minicamp. Could be a good practice squad candidate.

Jeff’s note: Andrew nailed this one. I think the Bears would love to stash Gentry away on the practice squad for a season and build him up.


75. DeAndre Houston-Carson, S. Was supposed to be a special teams stud but played just 25% of the special teams snaps and just eight total snaps on defense. Had a productive collegiate career but just might not be a good enough athlete to play in the NFL.

74. Jonathan Anderson, LB. Showed flashes as a UDFA in 2015 but had a hard time finding the field last year. He’s athletic but doesn’t seem to have a feel for the game.

73. Cyril Richardson, OL. Huge guy (6’5″, 343) who has actually played some in the NFL, but not since 2014.

72. Taylor Boggs, OL. Boggs has been here before and I don’t like his chances this time around either. He’s the kind of player coaches seem to love but always end up cutting.


71. Andy Phillips, K. UDFA kicker who I want to see have an actual chance at the job. Made 84 percent of his kicks in college, which isn’t great, but he was four-for-four on kicks over 50 yards. Also was credited with seven tackles in college.

Jeff’s note: Maybe he can play safety.


70. Ben Braunecker, TE. Bronk was supposed to be the surprise UDFA of 2016, but it didn’t happen. Only played about 14 percent of the offensive snaps and didn’t really do much. But it isn’t uncommon for tight ends to take time to develop and he’s still got potential.


69. Rueben Randle, WR. Was actually a productive player just two years ago, but didn’t make the Eagles last year and wasn’t signed by anybody else.

Jeff’s note: Saw a lot of Randle in New York. He’s talented but frustrating. Eli Manning quit on him.


68. Brady Sowell, OT. Journeyman offensive tackle started nine games for the Seahawks last year and 12 for Arizona in 2013. If he’s playing, the Bears will be in trouble.

67. John Timu, LB.  Started seven games the last two years and has racked up some solid tackle numbers. He’s a liability in coverage and doesn’t offer anything on special teams.

66. John Jenkins, DL. Started 12 games for New Orleans in 2015 but hasn’t been able to stay on the field since then. Played just two games for Seattle last year. Big, run-stuffer who doesn’t offer much pass rush.

65. Dan Skuta, LB. Been around the block playing for Cincinnati, San Francisco and Jacksonville. Started 10 games the last two years for the Jags and 18 games for Vic Fangio with the 49ers in 2013 and 2014. Not sure he has anything left in the tank but probably still better than Timu or Anderson.

64. C.J. Wilson, DL. Played pretty well late in the season after the Bears signed him off the street. A seven-year veteran who is just a borderline roster guy.

63. Mycole Pruitt, TE. Probably the Bears deepest position right now so I have a hard time seeing Pruitt making the cut unless he can also play fullback.


62. Deonte Thompson, WR/KR. Thompson didn’t bring the same burst to the kick return game that he did last year and the Bears have since added a few players capable of taking his job. Still an adequate deep threat.

Jeff’s note: I’d be surprised if the Bears don’t find some role Thompson this year based on age and versatility. 


61. Deiondré Hall, S. Couldn’t find the field as a corner and is now a safety. A position change this early doesn’t seem like a good sign.

Jeff’s note: No, it’s not a good sign…unless it is. Ed Donatell knows what he’s doing with the back end of a defense and the Bears are desperate for safeties. Hall has great ball skills and plays better with his eyes toward the backfield. It. Could. Work.


60. Christian Jones, LB. Once a highly thought of UDFA, Jones looks lost when he gets on the field these days. He’s a good athlete and a good special teams player, but he just hasn’t progressed the way many — including Vic Fangio — thought he would.

Jeff’s note: I think Jones may be overvalued on Andrew’s list but I’ve never been as pro-Jones as the Bears seem to be.

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  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    Blasphemy!!!!! BRAVERMAN at 85??? WTF??? He is easily in the top 10!

    • beninnorcal

      Future HOF’r

  • jojopuppyfish

    Deonte Thompson -He was a lousy WR last year

    • He did drop some at first, but then he began to make some catches and looked decent at returning.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Fastest guy on the team.

  • Scharfinator

    “Easily the winner of the 2016 Joe Anderson Boner Award. Could he repeat in 2017?” Lol, good shit!

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      Coaching staff just sucks and does not know how to utilize him.

      • Scharfinator

        Duh, HOF

    • I still want Joe Anderson!
      Do i have to see a Dr for an erection lasting longer than 4 yrs?

      • CanadaBear

        Sound like you opted for the silicone rod!

  • Irish Sweetness

    Hall is on the team. No way they’re shedding a safety with press coverage skill.

    Somebody call Terry down at Burger King. We need competition on that line.

    • willbest

      Hall is a 4th rounder from last year, that spent most of his rookie year hurt. They don’t really have a whole lot invested in him.

      • Irish Sweetness

        He can play though. I think he might be the big surprise on the roster. Maybe he was born to play safety.

  • Isn’t Sowell the current frontrunner for swing tackle?

  • Scharfinator
    • CanadaBear

      Nothing like the media and fan base of a downtrodden NFL franchise! For some reason I know quite a lot about this subject!

      • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

        It’s not about the downtrodden NFL franchise, it’s about the dick move of jabbing a former team. Any player leaving any team, should expect the same results, if they diss a former team.

        • CanadaBear

          Almost always the team that gets the gears is a down trodden franchise.

  • BearDown100393

    Braverman will be mentioning this post during his reflective A Football Life on NFL Network while wearing his yellow jacket.

  • King of DBB

    The highlights… such as they were

    • Howard accelerates really fast for a big man. He needs like 2yds and he’s going full momentum and no one wants a piece of that.
      Our secondary might not INT it much , but when they do, they’re off and running trying to score, Old Sauce style.
      I remember when Amos completely obliterated that Cowgirl. Man, too bad he can’t cover. He really brings the wood. Maybe we can sub him in on obvious running downs.
      Floyd made the play of the yr in that strip sack TD on Vadgers.
      Gave us hope going forward not just about him, but the D and Pace as well

      • SC Dave

        If he is in proper shape, some of those longer runs may end up in the end zone this season.

        • CanadaBear

          He looks fitter in pics and he’s been saying all the right things. Really excited to see how he performs this year.

          • SC Dave

            We all are Canada.

        • Yeah, in that one long run in the clip it was obvious he gassed out after rumbling 50 odd yards and got caught.

          Don’t remember if we had to settle for a FG, but if he can finish those this yr, our scoring should go up right there. Boom.

      • King of DBB

        Just going by that highlight reel you would lament not re-signing Eddie Royal. The real tale is the constant injuries and underperformance; but when he was right, he was the effective slot guy they wanted. But he was right for just three games.

        • Royal would’ve excelled under Hoyer who may not have an arm, but hits those short and intermediate routes in stride. That’s how those lil slot guys make their living.

          Alas, like you say, too inj riddled (and he was a decent returner as well)

          I’ll be interested to see if Glennon is accurate on those Royal type routes, and if Wheaton, Wright, or even Thompson, can pick up the slack whilst staying healthy.

          edit. Cruz used to be a terror in those routes, but that was Salsa Cruz, not rehab Cruz.

        • Corporal Clott

          Isn’t Royal getting long in the tooth. He played for the Broncos when Cutty did didn’t he?

        • Irish Sweetness

          6 million a year? No way. We have Kendall now. Cohen. He’s perfect for that shit.

    • SC Dave

      Watching that I still don’t understand how not having Alshon Jeffery improves the Bears.

      Edit: here’s a view from the other side
      https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2017/7/19/15998486/eagles-nfl-wide-receiving-corps-philadelphia-receivers-alshon-jeffery-torrey-smith-jordan-matthews

      • It doesn’t, but giving him Julio Jones $$$ doesn’t help either, and it’s obvious that’s what he wanted cuz he’s playing on a 1yr prove-it deal now.

        There’s also the strong possibility he wanted out.

        The last offer I read was a multi-yr $12M/yr contract, which I don’t think is that “insulting”.

        • CanadaBear

          I was really disappointed he left but when you see what he signed for vs what he passed up from the Bears, it’s pretty obvious he wanted out. Oh well.

          • Yeah, I was always pragmatic about it.
            For a certain amount, wanted to keep Alshon cuz no doubt he brings a set-skill that can help any team.
            OTOH, no freaking way he’s in Julio Jones’ stratosphere.

            I think the $12M/yr was fair, and the NFL concurred.

            Kept hearing “rumblings” that he wasn’t all-in, and those rumblings don’t tend to pop out of nowhere (see Pepp, Briggs, Hester, etc), so laters.

            We can invest that $ into Hicks, Leno, and to whichever 1yr guy doesn’t suck this yr.

          • CanadaBear

            Wish him the best. If he stays healthy there’s no reason to think he won’t have a good year and cash in.

          • I get this gut feeling there’s something off with him (wouldn’t be the first WR).

            Just doesn’t make sense that a guy with his talent didn’t lock in a mulit-yr deal in a pass happy league.

            Makes me suspect something else is going on, like with Pryor.

          • SC Dave

            Perhaps so. He is a small town kid from rural South Carolina; whether that is part of it only the people that know him well can say.

            Players have not said much about him to my knowledge. Maybe they don’t really know him well either.

          • Corporal Clott

            Well…when he was with the Bears he did cash out.

          • willbest

            One thing about Jeffery though is I seriously doubt he will run his mouth and piss me off the way Hester did.

          • No, but according to Thayer, Alshon ran very lazy routes, which pissed him off to no ends.

          • willbest

            Its possible. Being the best high point ball grabber with a 6 foot catch radius hides a lot of sins.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Cameron Meredith is the same height, and he’s a baller. We lost nothing but gained better receivers, and we’re not paying out 15M for a suspect player in terms of desire and heart.

          • SC Dave

            smh

          • Irish Sweetness

            He lacks heart. He’s not a baller. He’s soft. He collects the pay checks. Be gone.

          • SC Dave

            You write lots of stupid shit. Like that.

      • Irish Sweetness

        “Eagles have an actual NFL wide receiving corps now.”

        Not hard to tell that’s written by a fan. HEre is their list of aerial acrobats :

        Alshon Jeffery, Torrey Smith, Jordan Matthews, Nelson Agholor, Mack Hollins, Shelton Gibson, Marcus Johnson, Paul Turner, Bryce Treggs, David Watford, Greg Ward.

        Household names, each and every one ….

        AJ is a bona fide #1? I don’t think so, and neither did the Bears.

        • SC Dave

          Looks at least as good as our list of receivers.

  • fishing florida

    Come back Jay, I love you.

  • BearDown100393

    Mitch is officially signed

      • CanadaBear

        Canadian, eh?

    • AlbertInTucson

      Remember the whining over this “problem” that never became a problem?

      • Chicago booing QBs is a tradition like political corruption, shootings and Wrigley.

      • BearDown100393

        It is a problem that a problem that was never a problem became a problem.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      time to start him.

  • Sactowns#1

    Still banging the Braverman drum eh?

    • BearDown100393

      All the way to Canton.

    • willbest

      I am all about Harvard this year. Braverman is dead to me.

  • Good work, Andy.

    We should also have a “Terry Williams Fat Bastard Award” for the largest camp blob on the field.

    William Poehls seems to be the leading contender.

    I’m not sure where I stand with Hall. He got burnt. He made plays. He looks the part, but does he have the instincts?

    He probably would make a better Cover-2 CB since I agree with Jeff that he plays better with his eye on the QB, but Fangio’s CB is all about trailing tech, so prolly best to move him to FS where he can compete against the rook Jackson.

    The one commonality of all these LBs?

    None can cover.

    I wonder if Bronk will do enough to beat Da Divinci Code Dan Brown?

    I think the Bears will release Miller cuz it saves them $2M if I read correctly.

    Boggs is still around? Holy fuck.

    Who was that HB who was on the Bears practice squad for like 3yrs but never played a down? I think it was some somoan name or something.

    It’ll be hard to cut Thompson, methinks. He’s like Braverman, but black, and therefore, better

    Racist!

    K Phillips, Blade Runner. Do android kickers dream of electric posts…

    • willbest

      Pace seems to have put Irish in charge of the WR core, so you know its going to be
      Meredith, Wright, Wheaton, White, Cruz, and Randle

    • CanadaBear

      Harvey Unga.

      • There ya go!

        Boggs gets the “The Holy Fuck, he’s still around Unga” award

        • SC Dave

          How about “The Holy Unga, he’s still fucking around Award”?

          • CanadaBear

            I like that one. GP was always funny as hell about HU.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      That should be Terry’FUCKING’ Williams

      • Irish Sweetness

        Yup. The Human 8-ball.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          I thought the Human 8-ball was Sam Hurd

  • CanadaBear

    I had a good day yesterday. On the dog walk there is an overlook and yesterday we saw a pod of about 6 Orcas. Watched them for about 15 minutes until a boat showed up and got too close. Later in the afternoon I watched a pair of bald eagles ride the thermals for a while and then get busy hunting. Retirement is a bitch!

    • Those boats better be careful.

      Orcas are seeing fishing boats as free lunch now.

      https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/killer-whales-attack-fishing-boats-alaska

      • CanadaBear

        It wasn’t a whale watching boat, just some random boater that came up on them and didn’t have enough sense to stay back a little bit. The pod dove and I never saw them come back up. They are definitely bad mofos. They average 3-4 seals/sea lions per day!

    • willbest

      Nice. 14 more years and I am done. At least that is the plan. If IL keeps raising taxes I might need to add a couple years.

      • Johnnywad

        LOL. You have young kids right?

      • Irish Sweetness

        Tomorrow is promised to no man, Will.

        Conor went from drawing the dole to knocking out Floyd Mayweather in only 5 years. He inspired me to lose weight (lost 18 kilos in 18 months) and get a post-grad.

        Step one, move out of Illinois, brah. Increase the take home.

        • willbest

          It would decimate my business network to move.

      • CanadaBear

        Hope your plan works for ya! Not trying to be a smart ass. I didn’t have kids so it made things a lot less complicated for me.

    • SC Dave

      Nice. You bastard.

    • Corporal Clott

      Where did you go to see this Canada?

      • Johnnywad

        Canada

      • CanadaBear

        I’m on Vancouver Island. Just off the coast from Vancouver/Seattle. My dog walk is a park that juts out into the ocean. Lots of up and down with an overlook off the beaten path. The eagles I was watching from my house.

  • Corporal Clott
    • willbest

      JD will irrationally hate Trubisky by the end of the season.

      • SC Dave

        And claim he never should have seen the field this season. These chumps are all the same.

      • CanadaBear

        I really don’t understand how this guy survives. Unless Jeff’s buddy or a couple of the other writers make more with the Trib or ST’s, why wouldn’t they replace JD?

    • SC Dave

      *sigh*

      With as many tools as there are writing sports “analysis”, perhaps we should appreciate Andrew a little more.

    • “but at the end of the day, the best player needs to start.” Phew. That’s some damn good writing there.

      Yes, the Bears have a long tradition of this. Langford over Howard, Benson over Thomas, whoever started over Lach…

      • SC Dave

        So this. Next will be playing Trubisky instead of Glennon.

      • CanadaBear

        I believe it was Barry Minter at SLB.

  • SC Dave

    Okay, so I see more shit from “professional” sportswriters that Trubisky should start “if he’s ready”. The presumption is that “ready” also means “better than Glennon”.

    Idiots.

    • Patience used to be a virtue, b4 the internet and twitter.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Like “Common Sense” and “Common Courtesy”, neither of which is very common these days.

        • SC Dave

          Sense goes back to when we were kids Al, and before.

          But common courtesy still lived until the internet age.

          At least in my experience.

          • AlbertInTucson

            And if Civility isn’t dead, thanks to ‘Social’ media, it IS on life-support.

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      He’s ready better start him!

      • SC Dave

        Troll

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          Come on Dave, be nice. Besides GP believes all them “professional” sportswriters that you called idiots. Don’t want to upset him.

          • SC Dave

            Ah… guess I missed the point of your post.

    • Irish Sweetness

      It’s like they’re not listening to Pace, Fox, Glennon, or even Mitchell himself.

  • King of DBB

    Somebody already modeled Will Demps misreading his assignment for an easy pitch and catch for 6 between Davante Adams and Vadgers.

    https://youtu.be/U7PwdX4nGnw?t=1277

    I put it on loop just to get used to seeing it.

    • If Freeman ever has to cover Jordy one-on-one, and if Demps has to cover Adams one-on-one, without a S over the top, I’m gonna blame Fangio more than Freeman or Demps.

      • SC Dave

        I think Freeman may surprise. That dude is Fucking. Good.

        Imo best LB since Urlacher. Including Briggs.

        • Bold.
          I like him too, tho jury is still out if better than Briggs.

          That being said, in no universe should he be locked up one-on-one with Jordy Nelson.

          That’s just a Madden Cheat where every LB plays like Deon Sanders.

          • SC Dave

            Agreed. But which LB in the fucking league can cover Nelson?

        • willbest

          Are we allowed to use “since Urlacher” I mean its only been 5 seasons. Then again its felt like 40.

        • BerwynBomber

          Insane.

          Briggs is just a notch below HoF material. Freeman’s not near that class of player. And he’ll be 31 this year. Doubtful he’ll be ascending.

          • SC Dave

            https://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/F/FreeJe00.htm
            https://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/B/BrigLa99.htm

            Turnovers per game played
            Briggs .185, Freeman .188

            Tackles
            Briggs 6.79, Freeman 9.23

            Sacks
            Briggs .087, Freeman .174

            PD
            Briggs .497, Freeman .304

            Decided advantage for Freeman in tackles and sacks, decided advantage for Briggs in passes defensed. The most important stat, turnovers forced, is very close to dead even, though the slight advantage is to Freeman.

            So, do you still want to contend my statement is insane?

            Jerrell Freeman is a fucking good football player, and I’m glad he is on The Only Team That Matters.

          • BerwynBomber

            Yes, it’s insane. Freeman didn’t even start playing until he was 25. He has ONLY played FIVE years. Briggs started for TWELVE fucking years.

            Talk to me in 2024 and tell me if Freeman still stacks up in career stats … not averages unless the number of years played are close.

            And btw, I would hope Freeman has more sacks given the D system that Briggs played in the majority of his career. And more tackles as he is an ILB.

  • SC Dave

    Lol… lol…

    Jeff tweets ceiling with Glennon is 7-9.

    A statement fully worthy of the JD breed of tools out there.

    Stop drinking Jeff. Or turn the whole thing over to Andrew, so he can instead suffer the thankless scorn of we assholes

    But I’ll always be appreciative of that great post on green shoes and NFL hypocrisy.

    • willbest

      I am genuinely curious which 7 games the Bears are winning with any QB on their roster.

      • SC Dave

        There are 16 games. Pick any nine. All that is needed is to not be one of the four teams in the league with the most starter-games lost to injury. Or, as in the case of last year, 32nd of 32.

        This team is easily good enough to win nine games.

        • Sactowns#1

          Have they replaced all the trainers, strength and conditioning folks and medical staff?

          • As crazy as it might sound, Fox’s practices might be the root of the injuries.

            They’re supposedly very physical.

            Which is great – when it doesn’t apparently strike down the starters like the bubonic plague.

      • evantonio

        packers – 2
        lions – 2
        vikings – 2

    • BearDown100393

      The Bears run the table.
      With or without Connor Shaw.

      • We want Shaw on that Wall. We need Shaw on that wall.

        • evantonio

          shaw eats breakfast 300 yards from 4000 fudgies who are trained to kill him.

  • fishing florida

    The QBs we currently have are not even worthy to lick Jay Cutler’s balls sweat.

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    not sure if anyone posted the details on Trubs contract.
    http://www.spotrac.com/nfl/chicago-bears/mitchell-trubisky-21743/

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    I feel there has to be some hidden meaning behind Andrew ranking BRAVERMAN at 85. It seems to be such an insult to the greatness of Braverman. So I have been thinking of the possible meaning of this ranking. The 85 Bears were the Greatest Ever, therefore Andrew was subconsciously ranking Braverman as the Greatest Ever. It is the only way this makes sense.

    • Johnnywad

      *Wad slowly glances around the room over his glasses and sighs obnoxiously…..*

  • Some good ole camp Thayer talk. It’s supposed to be about Meredith, but I find his debate about physical-v-pussy practices illuminating.

    http://www.chicagobears.com/multimedia/audio/All_Access_Meredith_ready_to_prove_himself/1aad147c-e1bb-499c-adaa-d85c74fa99f0

    As most of us know, Thayer was on the 85 team, and he relayed how those practices were so brutal and MMA take downs, that when Sun rolled along, it was almost a relief.

    Said that Fox subscribes to that style (unlike Crypt Keeper) within the new rules. Said Larsen plays to the echo of the whistle, and Hicks and him got into it. Thayer loves it.

    But Zaidmen counters with a left “ah, yeah, but look how inj the Bears have been in his tenure”

    Touche, Z-man

    • SC Dave

      Zaidman is right

  • Elect A Clown. Expect A Circus

    LOL..Check out this quote… Serves you right, you orange chimpanzee supporting teabagger treasonweasels.


    “I don’t even pay any attention to what is going on with the administration because I don’t care. They’re a distraction. The family is a distraction, orange chimpanzee is a distraction,” complained Rep. Mike Simpson (R-Idaho). “At first, it was ‘Well yeah, this is the guy we elected. He’ll learn, he’ll learn.’ And you just don’t see that happening.”

    Republicans lament an agenda in ‘quicksand’
    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/20/gop-lawmakers-despondent-as-recess-approaches-240731

    • SC Dave

      *yawn*

    • Corporal Clott

      Don’t be square my man. Orange is the new yellow!

    • Scharfinator

      I like how your so called direct quote changes specific words. #fakenews #potmeetkettle

      • SC Dave

        I was going to mention that, but even yawning is troll feeding.

    • I dislike Trump immensely, but can you please stop bringing it up on here every day? Nobody comes here to talk politics.

      • BearDown100393

        Can this be pasted at the top?

  • King of DBB

    BB

    I take train through Elmhurst everyday why are the women there so homely? Is that an Elmhurst thing?

    • Corporal Clott

      Interesting. The older I get, the fewer uglier women I see.

      • CanadaBear

        Ain’t that the truth! It’s all about lowered expectations!

        • Corporal Clott

          Lol. Actually, it’s only when some of them open their mouths and speak that I’m able to spot the ugly ones.

          • CanadaBear

            Amen, brother! I don’t care how hot a woman is, if she is a horrible person I have no interest.

          • Corporal Clott

            You’re good people Canada.

          • BearDown100393

            ?
            – Kristin Cavallari-Cutler

          • CanadaBear

            I have no idea if she is a good person or not. Anti -vaxer nut so there’s that. As far as being an attention grabbing media personality, doesn’t bother me either way. I never see any of it. Physically she has it going on.

          • Johnnywad

            Anti-vaxer just means stupid.

    • Sactowns#1

      I will say this, Portland is definitely a step down from Sac. Hell, a few steps down.

      • CanadaBear

        Hopefully you discover some heavenly bodies once you get the flannel off them!

    • BerwynBomber

      Elmhurst? I’m in Berwyn. Elmhurst is like Winnetka to us.

      I’m at local dive sizing up a woman in a White Sox jersey with a tramp stamp and a missing tooth. But hey, they’re my peeps. So there you go.

      Actually, Berwyn is a minority-based community. I believe it is 45% Hispanic and 20% African-American. Dirty white boy, AKA my group, is about 30%.

    • BearDown100393

      IL foothold for Fudge?

  • Sactowns#1

    Cutler to be the color man during the Bears home opener. Just when you thought you were out, Jay pulls you back in!

    • CanadaBear

      You knew the network would assign him to Bears games. I like the guys he’s working with (Charles Davis and Kevin Burkhardt). Jay’s a smart guy, he’s not going to go rogue and kill the Bears. Should be interesting.

      EDIT: Honestly I think it’s a win for Bears fans because the other two guys are good and I expect Cutler to be pretty good. He’s supposed to be pretty funny in a sarcastic way so that might play well on TV. Who knows?

      At least it will be better than some of the other broadcasting teams assigned to the Beloved in recent years.

      • SC Dave

        Cutler and family still live in Chicagoland, no?

        • CanadaBear

          I think they moved to Nashville.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Morgantown!

          • CanadaBear

            ????

        • willbest

          I would venture to say no considering the listening photos don’t have furniture in them.

          http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/561-Circle-Ln_Lake-Forest_IL_60045_M87631-57427#photo9

          • CanadaBear

            My estimated payment would be over $18k/month. I guess I’ll stay put.

          • willbest

            I don’t like the master bathroom. No his and her sinks. Doesn’t look like there is a bench in the steam shower. The side nozzles are too far away from the rain shower head so you can’t get water from every direction. The window instead of mirror at the makeup counter. And if you aren’t going to have a 2 person bathtub it should at least be one of those deep soak job. Does he have hangers in that master closet or does he have to fold everything? what a PITA.

            Don’t even get me started on how much a waste of space an indoor basketball court is. A fire place in a sun room… wtf. Oh and I know massive kitchens are a thing in these homes, but have you ever tried to cook in one of these things? You are going to walk 3 miles just to cook dinner.

            Would not buy.

          • CanadaBear

            I only saw the outside pic. Really don’t care one way or the other.

          • willbest

            I get curious about what people are willing to spend $5 million on. Every time I review a house like this I come to the conclusion I would just build my own.

          • CanadaBear

            At that price point you might as well.

          • Irish Sweetness

            If you have 100M it’s way easier to make them an offer. The Zombie Apocalypse/financial collapse of the Federal reserve Ponzi scheme isn’t far off, though.

            I’m just high on life.

          • SC Dave

            That has been said for 30+ years, Irish. It’s amazing how long the can has been kicked down the road.

          • BearDown100393

            HOUSE FOR SALE
            DON’T CAAAAAARREEEEE IF IT DOES!

          • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

            do you need a tampon?

          • BearDown100393

            Jay never had a sink for himself. Or a toilet. He had an outhouse in the back.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I’d kill somebody to live in that house Will. Actually kill them. I was going to say “cut my arm off…” but fuck that. Murder. Keys. Thank you.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I can’t wait for that. I wonder what Jay says about the players he knows so well.

  • Corporal Clott

    “Hang in there @SenJohnMcCain. You’re tough! You can beat this. Fight, fight, fight! I am proud to call you my friend.” Surly Jeff

    Between Woody Allen and Johnny “the fonze” McCain, Jeff seriously needs to consider finding some new friends. I’m somewhat expexting a Peewee Herman endorsement right around the corner. Hee hee

    • willbest

      I presume he likes McCain because he is willing to put his party aside and deliver Democrat Oppo on Trump to the FBI. Also, in selecting Palin he assured the Great One victory. Guy went from at least plausibly justifying all the neo-con wars to being a naked warmonger after he lost in 2008. We would be neck deep in WW3 if he had won.

      • Getting tortured in a bamboo cage by commies might be enough for him to put aside his party line…might…

        • willbest

          That has always been McCain’s deal though. He always went against the party line. Until he was the face of the party in 08 and realized that the media only gave him positive coverage when he was sticking it to the GOP.

          • The “mainstream” media tends to treat moderates, Rep or Dems, favorably.

            When GW was campaigning on “Compassionate conservative” the media ate that up.
            Slick willy was just a good ole southern boy w a sax and was viewed by many as centrist-moderate

            It’s the “extreme” guys like Pelosi or Gingrich who the media tends to scorch

          • Corporal Clott

            Jess, it’s easy to herd the sheeple. Just give them a villain or 2 and they instinctively run the other way.

          • Oldest trick in the book, Trac.

            Paint “extremes”, the ones who could actually change the system, as dangerous and let the masses flock to the middle.

            The middle always being bankers creating wars and bribing incumbent politicians to remain in power.

            On this I think we can all agree.

          • willbest

            People don’t want change for changes sake though. Whats more is most people can’t think past payday. So as long as the house isn’t presently burning down, It makes it very easy to convince them to stay the course.

          • Peace. Land. Bread, comrade.

          • Scharfinator

            Don’t forget circuses 🙂

          • Corporal Clott

            Ahem… or football?

          • Scharfinator

            Yes, that is the implication. 🙂

          • Irish Sweetness

            They suckle on the teat of the Prince of Darkness. The Banksters, the war mongers and the politicians

            Each. And. Every. One.

          • willbest

            Nonsense. If the press wanted to deep six Pelosi as minority leader they could. All they have to do is run tape of her talking about opposing Bush, and where she told the press that its not up to the rank and file if she is leader, and a whole host of other idiotic things she keeps saying. And beyond that they could look into her husbands sweetheart deals and make that public. It would be easy to whip the party up against her.

          • BerwynBomber

            Most majority leaders are inherently unpopular. And look at the stupid shit Ryan, McConnell and Boehner have said in recent years.

            The press is most concerned with clicks, viewers, listeners and readers. MUCH less so with ideology except where there is an obvious leaning like with Fox or MSNBC.

          • willbest

            Fair enough, but they are targeting an audience with those clicks. Romney wasn’t extreme so according to Butch’s theory he was given a fair shake. That doesn’t square with reality.

          • Corporal Clott

            To mainstream Christianity, Romney the “Mormon” was a troubling candidate. As a result, Evangelical’s stayed at home during that election cycle helping Obama win the vote. Surprisingly, Hillary had the same effect in helping Trump get elected.

          • BerwynBomber

            Romney’s biggest issue was his etch-a-sketch primary-to-general transformation. He might have won had he run as Massy Mitt. The problem was he had to cowtow to the TPers to get the nomination.

          • I guess we would have to define “mainstream” media, but TBH, I include FOX as “mainstream” in that they have so many viewers (regardless of their accuracy or agenda) and for them Pelosi is their boogeywoman.

            And if they run across a southern dem who’s “moderate”, the gloves are on, and they treat that politico with some amount of respect.

            But I’ve seen even “leftist” shows like the Daily Show, Bill Maher, Colbert Report, make fun of Pelosi mercilessly at times.

            But the “centrist” tend to dodge the bullets all around for the most part. Like Trac says, it’s really about clicks/views, and targeting “radicals” on both sides is best for that.

            Even when “extreme” politicians aren’t batshit crazy like Ron Paul or Bernie, the media simply ignores them as quaint quirky codgers, though if either actually had a chance, I would expect the media knives to get sharpened

          • willbest

            I use the NYT as my pulse of the Dem party as that is what the elite that control the party read in the morning. I haven’t seen much of the liberal comedy men go after anybody still in favor with the party or when they do its measured. And there are ways to lampoon somebody to make them appear endearing rather than dangerous. “Uncle Joe” being the best example.

            At least with Biden that is probably true. I know one of his kids got some sweetheart Ukrainian gas money, but there is something comforting about a guy who spends his entire life in public service and would be homeless if it wasn’t for his pension.

          • BerwynBomber

            As a MOR liberal, I’m ready to see Pelosi go. Not that I loathe her, but she doesn’t sell that well to the Sanders crowd, and like Hillary, she’s polarizing. Sometimes thru no fault of her own but it what it is.

            Tim Ryan opposes her as a Minority Leader option. I like him generally. Plus, he represents a district in a purple state.

          • Johnnywad

            Pelosi does look like a guy.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Suckers of Stan’s cock. Each and every one of them.

          • Johnnywad

            Who is Stan?

          • CanadaBear

            I think he was going for Satan. But with it being Irish, who knows?

          • Johnnywad

            This version is more fun.

  • BerwynBomber

    Anyone catch “The Night Of” series on HBO a year or so ago? Caught up with it last weekend. The first three episodes were right up there with the best drama ever on TV, the last five (it was an eight episode one year series) slipped into some familiar crime/legal drama conventions but were still high quality.

    Anyway, highly recommended.

    • CanadaBear

      I really liked it.

    • Sactowns#1

      I really liked it but youre right, it got hacky at the end.
      My recent recommendations:
      GLOW
      Friends from College
      Castlevania
      The Tick (coming in August)
      Red Oaks
      Movies
      Okja
      Hunt for the Wilder People
      Lego Batman

    • Malice Halice

      Night of was a waste of fuckin time man stop bullshittin. That last episode was by far one of the worst fuckin season ending episodes ever. That shit was way too open needed to be a short series. Character development was the only good thing about that.

  • Little known fact about the new kicker, Phillips.

    He’s older, 28 or something.

    Mormon

    Tried for Olympic downhill skiing.

    Fluent in Norwegian.

    http://www.profootballweekly.com/2017/05/18/former-skier-andy-phillips-brings-unique-profile-to-chicago-bears-kicking-competition/a3idcgh/

    • willbest

      Bears should get a 1990s version of Kathy Ireland to do kicks.

      • BearDown100393

        Pacebot would draft Sinbad instead.

    • BearDown100393

      Isn’t Utah a little too high profiled for Pacebot?

      • Irish Sweetness

        Worked for Jimmy Mac!

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    OJ just granted parole.

    • BerwynBomber

      The Juice is loose.

      • King of DBB

        back to being NBCs sideline guy!

        call Hertz!

        • BearDown100393

          Ballers already inked him.

      • Corporal Clott

        Golf just got more interesting for Jeff. Lol

    • Naked Gun 4!

      • BearDown100393

        Geez…….

    • BearDown100393

      Now Naked Gun can be rebooted.

      • willbest

        Leslie Nielsen going to get the Grand Moff Tarkin treatment?

        • BearDown100393

          The acting could only improve.

    • Fun fact: His kids went to my school’s rival. I once played his son in middle school basketball and got stuck guarding him for the last few minutes of the game. OJ was in the gym watching.

      Needless to say, that was some of the least physical defense I’ve ever played.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Was that the son that killed Nicole and Goldman ….. Justin, right?

    • Johnnywad

      Browns already signed him.

  • BerwynBomber
    • BearDown100393

      They must be bored.

  • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

    So this is FLoyd Mayweathers new girlfriend.

    http://thechive.com/2017/07/20/floyd-mayweathers-new-girlfriend-is-a-knockout-beauty-30-photos/

    I hope we don’t find out what she looks like bruised and battered

    • Pays to be illiterate, kiddos.

      • willbest

        Her or him?

    • Irish Sweetness

      My favorite moment form the whole press thing was the actual presser after Brooklyn. There was a priceless moment, 13:18 in …

      Reporter: Do you think he’s getting into your head?

      Conor: Who?

      Reporter: Mayweather.

      Conor: Nuthin’ can faze me here … look at me … I’m fuckin’ topless in a mink coat!

    • Bender McLugh

      only a matter of time

  • Corporal Clott

    Anyone gonna watch the Eclipse tomorrow?

    • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

      probably not since I am pretty sure it is August 21st.

      • Corporal Clott

        Aah.. I thought it was July 21st.

      • Johnnywad

        I’ll probably still give it a shot. What with all the big plans and stuff.

        • “Modestly” Huge Bears Penis

          just remember eye protection if you are going to look right at it.

          • Bender McLugh

            pin-hole in a sheet of paper with another sheet of paper behind it. Remember doing that? the light through pinhole will clearly show the eclipse on the 2nd paper. It’s gotta be dark paper, like we like our DB’s.

    • I was in Wyoming last week, and somebody working at a gas station there told me the state’s population is expected to double that weekend because it will be one of the best spots to view it.

      • SC Dave

        The population of Columbia SC is expected to TRIPLE for the eclipse. I have already plotted an escape to the mountains of western North Carolina to watch from a bald in the national forest.

      • CanadaBear

        It helps that Wyoming is the least populous state. Love Wyoming!

        • willbest

          The lack of man made lighting, pollution, and a higher elevation greatly improves viewing

          • CanadaBear

            Yes Wil, I know. I’ve been alive now for quite a long time.

  • BuddhaJoe

    How dare you impugn the greatness of the Braverman? Tread thee carefully lest ye be smote by his wrath!

  • BuddhaJoe

    And why are Thompson and Hall on this list and not LeBlanc? And how sad is it that there’s an argument there?

  • Bender McLugh

    so for Braverman, his 2nd year only? all this talk and jokin’ about him it honestly feels like he’s been in the league 4-5 years. That’d be a nice surprise if he turns the corner and becomes productive.

    I don’t see Randle & Titus Davis making the 53-man. Kendall Wright having worked with Birdcage before might surprise but I’m not betting on it. I’m most excited about Cam & Shaheen.

  • willbest

    new thread

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