• Irish Sweetness

    Pickem league … Bueller?

    DBB Pickem League

    1. Goto https://football.fantasysports
    2. Enter Group ID# (37904) and the Password (goldenboy)
    3. Click Join Group

    • Bobby Douglass

      Boo, hiss: “The owner of football.fantasysports.com has configured their website improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this website.”

      • Irish Sweetness

        Turn that security way down.

      • MB30SD

        Firefox… It’s still around?!?!

        Try chrome yo

        • Bobby Douglass

          Tried chrome first; it’s even more scarier:

          Attackers might be trying to steal your information from football.fantasysports.com (for example, passwords, messages, or credit cards).

          I’ll give it a shot from home on a machine I don’t give a crap about.

        • willbest

          I don’t know why you would use Firefox when you can use Pale Moon. Its a firefox fork that has mosted the legacy garbage ripped out of it making it a lot faster.

          • recommend Pale Moon over firefox? Does it have ad block?

            Also, what’s wrong with Firefox?

            Too slow, takes too much memory?

            Curious cuz I still use firefox

          • willbest

            Pale Moon is Firefox. Uses the same plugins. What they have done is removed all the legacy support that nobody uses anymore and that greatly improves memory usage.

          • Ah. OK. got u.

            Gonna use that instead then.

  • PaceBot 2000

    I really like that PaceBot was aggressive and did not pussyfoot around the Sitton contract offer. That quick, decisive and attractive offer persuaded Sitton immediately.

    • CanadaBear

      Pretty sure POX knew if he left the bldg without a contract he was gone for good.

      • Joanngstaats4

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !oe314f:
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  • Irish Sweetness

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000694532/article/seahawks-top-atnfl-preseason-power-poll

    “If everything breaks right …” that is … if everything goes our way … then we’re the third worst team in football. SMH.

    • chitownproud85

      I dont understand the assertion that we are a bottom feeder team. Even last years 6-10 group was not 30th out of 32 teams..and its easy to make a case that we are at least a 6 win team again this year. Low 20s makes more sense to me. A team thats a tough out, but not going to the playoffs yet. This general opinion that we will be an easy out this year…where does it come from? The Bears wernt an easy out LAST year…?

    • BearDown100393

      16-0. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

  • Irish Sweetness

    DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog
    He played ten snaps there. Total. https://twitter.com/frankyfrank782/status/773139956927782912

    So we want a Center that’s played ten snaps and cant handle the shotgun?

    • DaCoaches Mustache

      Give FrostyFuzz a little time I bet he catches on quickly. He will be the starting center by October I would think. Larsen is just a dude, an angry Fisticuff tossing backup. Whitehair has potential to be really good.

      • Bender McLugh

        FrostyFuzz??

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          Whitehair.

          • Bender McLugh

            …..I’m dumb………..

    • Johnnywad

      I’d rather have a highly regarded badass rook learning how to snap the ball than a JAG that can snap it but can’t block anything up.

    • Big Mike

      He can handle shotgun. How many reps do you think he had in camp. I bet more than 10. Most guards get reps at Center their whole career, warming up backups, or goofing off. Coaching staffs always want Guards to be available at Center. Bigger issue is going to be the line calls. Long is likely to have to make them, with Sitton at the other guard.

  • chitownproud85

    54% of DBB responses show 8 or 9 wins this year. Logic is prevailing. I’m more confident than I was before, and I have no idea why. The ceiling is 10 wins, the basement is 4… and…we are allowed to hit the ceiling occasionally…right?

    • Big Mike

      Unless #6 is out 1/2 the year or more, this team will not lose 12 games. Will not, can not.

  • MB30SD

    Abject failure! Death! Dismemberment! 0-16! We’re doomed!!!!!!

    9-7

    • Scharfinator

      I’m cautiously optimistic for 9-7. Our D definitely looks better…. The offense has had such a shake up, I don’t know what to expect.

      • MB30SD

        9-7 if we get lucky/things break out way. Anything over 8 is a good step forward

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    At Soxfest in early 2004, Chicago White Sox broadcaster Ken Harrelson (commonly known as “Hawk”) called Jay Mariotti “the biggest sports fraud,” adding that he had never seen him in the White Sox clubhouse. Trading barbs through the media, the two were eventually involved in a physical altercation in July 2004 at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Mariotti suffered a broken nose after the incident. Afterward on his radio show, Mariotti threatened to “pinch Hawk’s beak off”. In June 2006, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillén publicly apologized for calling Mariotti a “fag.” However, he did not apologize to Mariotti, only for the slur.

    • CanadaBear

      Ozzie needed to apologize. I know lots of gay people and not one of them is as big a douche as JM. It’s too bad JM didn’t tangle with Hawk a few years earlier. At the time of the dustup Hawk was 63 and JM was 45. I’m pretty sure I could take JM with a bum leg. All you have to do is land one good one and all the fight would go out of that weasel.

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        I don’t know he practices by beating up women, he might have learnt something new.

        • CanadaBear

          And then cried like a bitch and said she assaulted him. Not somebody that makes you afraid to walk the streets!

      • willbest

        Did he? I don’t recall what the acceptable words were to call somebody in 06. You could call somebody a thug or an urban youth back then without somebody else calling you a racist.

  • DaCoaches Mustache

    Bears boner is officially raging.

    • willbest

      If its there for longer than 6 hours you need to go to the hospital.

      • Scharfinator

        Or a brothel.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          then to the hospital. might need a shot or two after the brothel.

  • Bears-4-Ever

    At last the Season is upon us! BEAR DOWN!

    I am hoping for the 9-7 selection or better. My gut is telling me 6-10 unless the O-line comes out and does the job. (Crosses Fingers). Either way…Just beat the Packers…

    • Big Mike

      Take that 6-10 attitude over to a Packer’s board. This is where we justify 9-7 or better. 🙂

      • Bears-4-Ever

        The Bears actually need to “justify” the 9-7. I certainly hope they do and better.

        • Big Mike

          Not on the blog 🙂

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          16-0 until proven otherwise!!!!

          • Bears-4-Ever

            LOL! OK OK,,,,

          • SC Dave

            Thinking that will happen no later than Week 14 or so.

  • chitownproud85

    BTW – couldnt be happier to see the Vikings launch a first rounder for Bradford. 2 birds with 1 stone. They paid a first round pick for a name to hand the ball off to AP. Lawlz

    • Captain Obvious

      Not quite the fleecing they took for Walker, but it’s similar in futility, if not in magnitude.

      How many years does AP have left? Minny might not get Teddy back at 100%, and they threw away a potential replacement if/when Bradford sucks and/or gets hurt.

      Their defense might be good, but look for Minnesota to be no better than an 8-8 team for the next 5-6 years. After AP’s worn out, they might be lucky to scrape out 6 wins in a season.

  • willbest

    Jeff apparently has a hard on for Whitehair. Nothing I saw in the preseason leads me to believe that he is a mere 10 days away from being better than Larsen at center.

    • Big Mike

      Key observation.. “what you saw”. He played 10 snaps at Center in the preseason. Whitehair is a stud. Been saying since he was drafted. Jeff’s perspective is “the Bears aren’t winning the SB this year, let the youngsters make mistakes and play”.

      • willbest

        Why do we know he is a stud?

        • chitownproud85

          We dont, and dont let anyone tell you that they “know” because they dont. In a year or two, we will know if he was or not. The coaching staff seems very high on him, so I guess we could say its LIKELY he will be a stud, or that there is a good CHANCE he will be. We havent seen anything done on a gameday yet, so any opinion offered is worthless.

          • Big Mike

            Some opinions have more behind them than others. 🙂

          • chitownproud85

            Agreed, but training camp/practice heroes exist every year. We have zero clue what anyone will be until we get those 16 examples to look over, year after year. Nothing else matters. So far, so good, right? Lets hope he is what we are being told he is.

          • Big Mike

            Nothing to do with training camp. Liked him at Kansas State, liked him in the Senior Bowl. Good feedback coming out of Bears camp. Nobodies a sure thing when they’re a rookie. But I’m saying, this guy is going to be good.

          • We all hope, but I agree with Big Mike and Jeff.

            Whitehair has starter all over him, and maybe PBer and All pro. There’s really little to dislike about him.

            Floyd, on the other hand, I’m more skeptical about.

            Could it turn out the opposite? Yes. But gotta trust own eyes at some point.

          • DaCoaches Mustache

            Get that man a cheeseburger

          • chitownproud85

            I’m with you guys all day. I like him too. Just fucking jaded and venting. Time to get the attitude right I guess. If all this fanfare is anywhere close to reality…a Whitehair/Sitton/Long interior sounds pretty goddamn bueno, no?

          • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

            By that logic, all scouting is bunk.

        • Big Mike

          Been coaching/playing o-line for 20+ years. Saw his college film. First round ” talent. Good feet, good technique, good recognition, good attitude, high football IQ. He’s strong, athletic, has played RT/LT and G.

          Here’s the bottom line from his NFL draft profile

          With his combination of functional strength and body control, Whitehair
          might be one of the safest offensive linemen in the entire draft. He
          will almost assuredly be bumped inside to guard, but could be considered
          at center as well. He has the confidence and talent to start right away
          and his run blocking should improve as he gets more comfortable firing
          out from a three-­point stance. Whitehair has the ability to be a very
          good starter with a ceiling that could reach the all-pro level.

          Here’s a link to an article by Gil Brandt. Not some blogger.

          “Cody Whitehair, OG, Kansas State: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000646037/article/ten-most-underrated-offensive-prospects-in-2016-nfl-draft
          Whitehair (6-3 3/4, 301, 5.0) has shorter arms (32 3/8) than you’d
          like, but he’s really a good player. He played left tackle at K-State;
          in the NFL, his best position is going to be guard, maybe even center.
          He’s a high-effort player who should play for a long time in the league.

          https://www.profootballfocus.com/draft-cody-whitehair-leads-pffs-ranking-of-the-nfl-drafts-best-guards/

          VS Auburn he’s # 55 playing LT.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          I heard he ran a train on the Kansas State Cheerleaders in college… sounds pretty studly to me.

        • DaCoaches Mustache

          He was beating the shit out of people all preseason from the guard position. Pretty sure those skills are transferable to C.

          • willbest

            Doesn’t always translate into leading the line.

          • SC Dave

            haha… agree with both sides there…

      • Jokey

        I agree with Jeff on this one. Play Whitehair at C. If this team were 100% healthy, I’d say we’re a wild card team. One more offseason like we just had (A- imo) and we’re a solid playoff team, assuming there’s no regression on offense, w/out Gase & Forte & Bennett (who at least stayed healthy). This year I think is 8-8.

        Side note: bummed about Bridgewater, I wanted us to beat them as underdogs, but I guess they’ll probably be favored even with Bradford. Not from a betting perspective (not my thing) but more from a respect and motivation angle.

        • I am pulling for Bridgewater. I mean, no one deserves that type of inj, and by all accounts, he’s a stand up dude.

          I was never on the Bridewater hype train anyways. He’s Alex Smith, at best.

          • SC Dave

            Sometimes I think it would just be good if he can be athletic again. Staying in the league is a tall order for him at this point, but hopefully he can at least hike the mountains for the next fifty years or so.

            Way too young to be lame.

  • Big Mike

    Former Bears QB David Fales signs with Ravens.. oh tresticle

    • CanadaBear

      How embarrassing to be the teacher’s pet when the teacher is Nessman.

      • Captain Obvious

        BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!

    • Should’ve known.

    • SC Dave

      Doesn’t the term “tresticle” imply some level of manliness?

      • Big Mike

        Only in the diminutive form.

        Sent from Gmail on my iPhone

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    Troy Aikman is butt hurt that Bayless has a job.

    Bayless looks like a mannequin that has heat damage from a fire.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      Don’t they work for the same network now? I bet the Christmas part is going to be fun.

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    Cops going to boycott Niners games for security? Seriously? Because Kap won’t stand during the anthem?

    Way to give the guy the spotlight he seeks. Try taking the high road. Jesus.

    • PaceBot 2000

      they won’t , the police union already squashed that story.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      not sure if it is because of the anthem stuff or more on Kap wearing socks with pigs wearing cop uniforms a couple weeks back. The got their feelings hurt.

      • willbest

        I run my own business, so the idea of not working for somebody that doesn’t want me to work for them is not a novel concept.

        Then again, I don’t forceably take money from anybody in order to provide them with those services.

        • Big Mike

          Kaepernick isn’t protesting Cops, he’s protesting bad policing. A private business and a public employee are 2 different things.

          • willbest

            Are they public employees? People like to hire off duty cops because technically they are never off duty. But if they are being paid by a private organization and not the taxpayer then they aren’t going to be public employees.

            No doubt some of the police there will be there on the taxpayer’s dime, but not all of them.

      • Big Mike

        Whatever., Cops need to shut up and do their job. They can protest on their own time. That’s what being a cop is about. To Serve and Protect. It’s a tough job. The level of respect for Cops has reached a very low dangerous point, but they don’t get to decide who they “Protect and Serve”. That’s not the job. If it’s overtime/voluntary work to provide stadium security, fine. But it’s part of their regular duties, they are in the wrong.

    • CanadaBear

      Cops need to nut up. Kaep is a total douche but if wearing offensive socks is a deal breaker …

    • Wagga Wagga

      I don’t think that’s really going to happen. Specially since the 9er’s normally give free tickets to the local police departments. There’s kind of a brotherhood between them. They’re just poking fun at each other.

  • Jack Lacan

    The Bears will go 16-0. Remember what George Costanza said – “It’s not a lie – if you believe it.”

  • Doc Nitty

    Nightmare Scenario: Long out, patchwork O-line with a rookie center and new LG vs JJ Watt? Cutler dismembered in The third quarter, season over, 3-13

    Dream Scenario: Cutler somehow survives week one, Langford and White take the league by storm, the D crushes and we get some lucky bounces? 10-6 barely missing the playoffs.

    Most likely Scenario: Cutlers new ass hole, freshly tore by Watt, only causes him to miss three weeks, Langford goes for 1300, White learns the ropes and shows promise, the D hold foes to 17-20, and we improve to a heart pounding 7-9.

    Guarantee: I will enjoy watching it play out.

    mmmbearsssss

    • Scharfinator

      Isn’t Watt still out?

      • willbest

        Nope he is a practicing.

        • Scharfinator

          BOOOOOOOOOOO

          • PaceBot 2000

            Unrein lead blocker right into his face.

          • Bender McLugh

            DEFINITE.

    • PaceBot 2000

      Doc, I say we throw the fucking kitchen sink at Watt until his back disintegrates.

      • GPLDAN
        • PaceBot 2000

          they are missing their starting Center and they just got another OL off the hospital gurney the other day. It’s even money that we pound Osweiler.

      • who Watt lines up against will clue us in as to who teams view as our weak link on the oline.

        But where’s the weak link now? Sitton? Nope. Long? Nope. C? Nope (cuz Sitton will help out C).

        Maybe Massie, but we can always chip.

        We’re good.

        And I think Watt will play the decoy more than often.

  • PaceBot 2000

    I have to be honest boys. I am pumped for this season. I just don’t see a way that we aren’t 9-7 or 10-6. I mean I guess we could suffer catastrophic injury but with that aside we are going to be better than last year.
    I’m even trying to paint McPhee’s injury in a positive light and what I’ve come up with is that we’ll have him relatively fresh for the playoff push.
    It’s time to shock the world!

    • BearDown100393

      Well yes, the Bears have to start 4-0 to go 16-0.

    • willbest

      95 hours and 43 minutes until kickoff.

      • BearDown100393

        There’s gotta be a pregame show already playing somewhere in cable land.

      • SC Dave

        Twenty five hours for being a day off? Hmmm…

        • willbest

          Congress is going to pass a bill later today moving daylight savings to Sunday, just so I am not wrong twice in the same post.

          That is the power of donating money the Clinton Foundation.

  • willbest

    This reads like an onion article but nope, BBC News

    “Warner Brothers reports own site as illegal”
    Film studio Warner Brothers has asked Google to remove its own website from search results, saying it violates copyright laws.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-37275603

  • PaceBot 2000

    I think we’re going to find out how fast White really is on Sunday. Alshon pitch and catch for some early first downs. Score on first drive while pounding it home from the goal line.
    This Bears team will not lose to Brock Osweiler. It is not going to happen.

    • willbest

      Last year’s Bears team lost to Brock Osweiler.

      • PaceBot 2000

        We had muppets playing on D. Fucking muppets.

        • willbest

          D wasn’t our problem last year when we played them. Really Brock should lose this one on principle since the Bears got him paid this year.

          • PaceBot 2000

            We let some JAG throw for 250yds and 2Td’s while going 20 for 27 in his first NFL game. Jesus.
            THIS Bears team will not let that happen.

          • Big Mike

            The Defense was always our problem last year.

          • willbest

            Not in that particular game. They held the broncos to 17 points, which is pretty good considering the Bears were -2 in turnover differential. Yeah Oz had himself an efficient day, but that loss was all offense.

          • PaceBot 2000

            It was the Denver Broncos super bowl D

        • GPLDAN
          • MB30SD

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

            I literally almost spit my entire mouthful of water onto my desk. Holy fuck!

            8376 blog points.

          • SC Dave

            Grade inflation

          • MB30SD

            Sigh

        • RenoBear

          This

  • GPLDAN

    In case it wasn’t mentioned (I didnt see it), Commonwealth Edison was officially let go.

    • willbest

      He is on the practice squad with Hurst.

  • GPLDAN
    • RenoBear

      I saw that. Gawwwwd he’s such a little bitch. How in thee holy hell is he still employed?? I sweat some former players must have run a train on his wife or something. He’s such a vindictive little bore. Get some new schtick. Douchebag

      • GPLDAN

        the dude is always on the rag. always.

      • Big Mike

        He’s employed because there are a lot of Bears fans with close to zero football IQs. They want to be passionate and vent, he gives them an outlet for what to be mad about.

    • BearDown100393

      Pace was hired to do the opposite of Emery. And it has been an ordeal. Haugh concludes with this [“There’s a human side to it,” Pace said, wincing. “As a young general manager, that’s tough. You’re talking to these guys, I understand the personal side of it and I take that very seriously.”] and yet the context of the column suggests POX is dehumanizing the Bears organization. Wake up. This is professional football. Winning is what matters. For several seasons, the beat criticism was the Bears being soft culturally on losing. Well here is the change. And now of course the rant. Which way to do you want it David?

      • MB30SD

        EXACTLY this.

        Dave did you read this post? As my sr. architect says about the under performers he unceremoniously fires… “I’m not running fucking unicef here, this is business and they have a fucking job to do. if they can’t perform, let them go do charity work somewhere else.”

        He’s a fucking baller.

        • Wagga Wagga

          When it comes to the work place, I have the patience of a rattlesnake. I approve this message.

        • CanadaBear

          Not sure if you heard Robbie’s interview on Waddle and Silvy today. He couldn’t say enough good things about the Bears and the McCaskey family. Went out classy and understood it was performance based.

          • SC Dave

            No surprise. Glad he took the road so much higher than whoever wrote the release statement. One of the “pissy” Bears beat writers pointed out that there were two words conspicuously missing from the press release.

            Thank. You.

            Someone should be fired at Halas Hall. Is it really too much to expect an organization to say “thanks” to the guy who scored the most points in their history?

          • Wagga Wagga

            I’m of the belief that every paycheck was a thank you. They thanked him well.

          • SC Dave

            Yeah, you’re tough, I get it.

          • Wagga Wagga

            Just a different perspective is all Dave.

          • CanadaBear

            I don’t think that was the official press release but even if it was Pace said all the right things at the press conference and Robbie talked to everyone in the org that he wanted to, esp Virginia on Monday. He told a nice story about how much it meant to him watching her raise the NFC trophy in the snow at Soldier Field.

          • MB30SD

            Nice

    • Couldn’t read past a few paragraphs.

      He argues that the coaches claimed Whitehair’s best position was C, but if that were true, they would’ve put him in at C from day one.

      No, dildo. It’s quite typical for a team to start a rookie at LG cuz it’s much easier than the other Oline positions, esp C which usually makes the calls.

      Shit, even the Dolphins are starting off Tunsil (a LT, no less) at LG to get his feet wet.

      But once Sitton was signed, situation changed.

      That’s called being flexible and adaptable. And apparently, that’s somehow a bad thing according to Haugh.

      Letting Gould go so late only tells me they were really debating keeping him. But, they made the call, and it was the right one.

      They could’ve put a thank you on it, but that’s on the PR dept.

      • Big Mike

        You wouldn’t put Whitehair at Center if you had Grasu. The makeup of the starting OL was never announced. Most practices are not open to the public or media. His draft analysis includes comments like “has roster value at all 5 positions”. Fuck Haugh. He’s a dipshit

      • SC Dave

        No, he did not say that. He said they would have put him in once Grasu was out.

      • PaceBot 2000

        Pace admitted that they had their eye on Barth and several others that were already “attached” to teams but that if any of them were cut the Bears were ready to swoop in. He specifically said that Barth is money from inside 40.

        We also picked up Kush and Cre-Von LeBlanc almost immediately. Bizness getting done.

        • SC Dave

          Cre-von? What kind of a fucknut name is that?

        • I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew about Sitton thru back channels, and maybe, MAYBE that’s why they let Slauson walk.

          But naturally the Bears can come out and say it cuz that’s tampering.

          That’s why agents exist.

  • on other notes, we released Jizz and kept Carey.

    Can it be a regime that FINALLY evaluates correctly? And by correctly I mean how I see it!

    • GPLDAN

      No more jizz jokes. He lost a step after the injury.

      I still say fuck Carey.

      • haha. u hold on to grudges like an old gypsy.

        • CanadaBear

          Irish Alzheimer’s … the only thing you can remember are your grudges.

    • PaceBot 2000

      Carey will ball out until his brain fucking evaporates and the gas oozes out of his head hole.

      • SC Dave

        I’m picking Howard to be #1 by mid-season, like I said a month ago.

  • GPLDAN
    • BerwynBomber

      Good lord. The Cheese are continually over-ranked. #2 in the entire fucking league? That’s bonkers. I can name three NFC teams off the top of my head — SEA, CAR and AZ — whom I would rank above them.

      • Wagga Wagga

        Yeah, if that’s accurate, our ranking should have improved after signing Sitton? I mean, after all, he WAS a Packer…….cough…..cough….

  • GPLDAN

    500 homicides for Chicago in 2016!

    Thanks to the South Side, who put us over with 50 shootings this weekend. 600 here we come!

    • PaceBot 2000

      We couldn’t have done it without the support from the local communities. You know what they say,”it takes a village to remain silent when 9yr olds are shot in the head playing with dolls”

      • SC Dave

        The “leaders” all want to blame everybody but the people pulling the triggers.

        • BearDown100393

          Unless the trigger happy wear blue.

          • SC Dave

            I stand corrected.

        • willbest

          The 20% clearance rate for homicide doesn’t exactly create an atmosphere of introspection on the part of would be murderers.

          • SC Dave

            Did not know that term, so I looked it up. Yeah, one in five ever resulting in a charge is scant disincentive indeed.

            I take it much of that is the “I saw nothing” from everyone that watched?

          • willbest

            Yeah that is what Pacebot was alluding to. The neighborhoods are cesspools because the neighbors are convinced not saying anything is in their best interest.

          • SC Dave

            Then I suppose they get what they deserve, sad as it is.

    • BearDown100393

      Time for a trilogy.

      Some people think you’re already dead, Jay. Some say you never will
      be. Though you may have survived Vanderbilt. You may have escaped from Denver. But this is Chicago, vato. And you’re about to find out that this
      f*cking city can kill anybody!

    • Big Mike

      West Side

  • GPLDAN

    Dear State of Minnesota,

    The cost of putting criminals to death is high. Electric chairs, drugs, needles, trained staff. All this costs money. So here’s my offer: I’ll take this one.

    http://www.startribune.com/danny-heinrich-confesses-to-abducting-and-killing-jacob-wetterling/392438361/

    Just let me into the cell with him. I’ll need a garrote, that’s all I need. I’ll have him in a submission hold in about 30 seconds. Promise. And then I’ll soosh him, like the German does in Saving Private Ryan. Shhhh I will say. I may relax the cord enough to hear him squeal, maybe beg a little. But then I will finish it. And you will save money. We both win.

    • BearDown100393

      Okay this totally deflated my afternoon.

    • CanadaBear

      Pretty sure he’s dead man walking. I only hope it’s incredibly painful and drawn out.

    • willbest

      See I don’t really understand it. If we can outsource half our manufacturing base to China, why in the hell can’t we outsource taking care of our prison population to them. It costs $60k a head to house a prisoner in the US and only 3k a year in China. Take the guys that are life without parole put them on a plane, send of them over there with a check for $3k times their life expectancy. The Chinese can put them in a cell, film them for 15 minutes, put the film on loop for the next 30 years so we can feel good about it, and then gas them.

      • SC Dave

        Every so often, communism might be useful for something.

    • beninnorcal

      Don’t worry, GP, they’ll take real good care of her, I mean him, in the clink.

  • Big Mike
    • BearDown100393

      “The club also lost Matt Forte, Matt Slauson and Bennett in the offseason.” This is inaccurate. They were not “lost”. None of these players were wanted to return.

      • MB30SD

        they did not leave us, we left them

        • willbest

          Not willingly as far as Slauson was concerned. I had his car impounded so he couldn’t leave town. He left it there. Fuckers just make too much money.

          • MB30SD

            that’ll happen

        • BearDown100393

          Yep. Discarded

      • Big Mike

        I’m convinced that fantasy football has lowered everyone’s football IQ.

        • SC Dave

          So fucking this. There are millions involved that know NOTHING beyond fantasy scores.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            there are millions that know NOTHING beyond what they read from idiot writers too.

          • “casual fans”.

            Those are the ones who think the 4rth PS game matters, or that Cutler is a big baby.

          • Big Mike

            But when it creeps into ESPN etc. WTF. Bears lost Forte and Bennet, those guys scored fantasy points. Bears are bad.

          • BearDown100393

            ESPN gave up on sports when it green lit projects like Skip/SAS.

          • SC Dave

            Yup. Though I still think we’d be better off with Forte. For one more year, anyway.

        • Nah. In our league alone, got guys like GP, NB, Shady, Sac, etc that know a lil about football.

          That’s like when the calculator came out and ppl thought it would make the population stupider. I’m sure they prob claimed the same when the abacus came out.

          Stupidity will just always be around. I doubt Haugh plays FF, yet he makes readers more tarded after reading his pieces.

          • SC Dave

            I know fantasy fans that do not know where OG and OT line up. No, I’m not kidding.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            that can be said about non fantasy fans too.

          • CanadaBear

            My only real issue with fantasy football is it changes the dynamic for fans and I’m perfectly happy with the old dynamic. That and I have no desire to comb through stats trying to make intelligent choices.

          • I can see that. And when I didn’t play, I found the networks forcing it down fan’s throat annoying too.

            But on the plus side, FF can force you to pay attention the the whole league, and trends, and make you appreciate players maybe you wouldn’t otherwise.

            Some fans wear blinders only for their teams, and often it skews reality, imo.

            Like non-ff Bear fans probably thought the sky was falling for us at TE.

            But anyone who plays FF knows that the TE situation around the whole NFL is SHIT.

            There’s Gronk, then there’s everyone else.

            And you’d be hardpressed to name a #2 TE on any team not named the Pats.

          • CanadaBear

            My issue with TE for the Bears is Miller’s injury history (including this PS). Totally get what you’re saying and I’m sure I’m guilty of that to a certain degree but that’s OK. I’m a Bears fan first and foremost and a NFL fan second.

          • Yeah, but LOTS of teams have INJ prone TEs.

            I just drafted Reed from the skins. He’s prolly missed as many games as Miller. Who is their backup TE? Paulson? Some Polish dude or something.

            So I drafted Eifert as backup. But hey, he’s inj too! How about Ladarious Green on the Steelers. Oh shit, he’s hurt too and might retire!

            There’s just a lot of inj-pron TEs (I mean, Gronk, Gates, etc) around the league, and if a fan doesn’t pay attention to other teams, he might think we’re the only ones thin at the position, when the reality is the opposite.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            Paulsen is our backup TE now. Vernon Davis is Redskins backup.

          • I was thinking of Pauls, but yeah, he’s the 3rd TE anyways and Vernon Davis is just collecting paychecks.

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            In your defense Paulsen was with Washington before we picked him up

          • SC Dave

            Who cares about the rest of the fucking league? There is but ONE TEAM THAT MATTERS!

          • Yes, but checking out trends around the league puts Bears moves in perspective.

            Would it be nice to roster 3 AP TEs? Jes.

            Is it a reality across the NFL. Nope.

            We’re also not the only team starting unproven HBs.

          • SC Dave

            But the non fantasy types don’t pretend they know all about the game

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            you never spent much time in a sports bar have you?

          • SC Dave

            Point. Except by halftime I don’t care as either:
            1) They’ve left being fair weather types.
            2) I’ve had enough beer

          • Big Mike

            That’s some leagues. But in general fantasy football has made millions of FF players think they’re fucking experts about football.

          • I think those are just gamblers posing as football fans.
            Personally, I take Olines and even defenses into account

            #FFchamp!

    • SC Dave

      I didn’t think it was all that stupid, just wrong. Until I looked at the % chance to win each game, and realized it is stupid. Putting higher chances for the Bears to win at home than on the road shows they pay no attention.

      • SC Dave

        Maybe it’s because there are more true Bears fans at the road games than the meathead multitudes in Soldier Field?

      • Big Mike

        29th. For fuck sake. Jeezzz

        • SC Dave

          I was talking about the narrative, not the 29. No one paid attention to THAT, right?

    • ImportantBearsDefender FTW

      Well, it is inaccurate from the start.
      A.) It is impossible to win .4 of a game, they either win 7 or they win 8. Vegas point protection is not applicable in all situations and this is a good example of where they need to learn math again.
      B.) Every team is 0-0 and has the same statistical chance of making the playoffs of 37.5%

      Again on a statistical scale, each team has a 50% chance to win every game they play.

      • Big Mike

        There is no way the beloved are 29 out of 32 teams.

  • MB30SD
    • SC Dave

      That’s one lazy fucking cat. Unless it was pining for the fjords.

      • MB30SD

        cats suck

  • PaceBot 2000

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2016/09/06/saints-release-kai-forbath/#comment-5216077
    Saints just cut the guy that beat out Barth. Maybe they’ll go for Robbie.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      they signed rookie Wil Lutz

    • SC Dave

      Gee, and I thought our shit was weird. Another vote of confidence for our new kicker.

      With luck, he’ll take it personally and be awesome. But I’m not holding my breath on that.

      • BearDown100393

        Or POX cuts Barth and signs Forbath.

        • that would be funny.

          Barth-Bath?

          • BearDown100393

            Barth-Bath Binks

        • SC Dave

          That would tell me Pace is an idiot.

          • BearDown100393

            Or just using the McCaskeys to impress Jerry Jones.

          • SC Dave

            Ok, that got a chuckle

      • MB30SD

        their GM is an evil motherfucker of a cunt?

        • BearDown100393

          Mickey Loomis. Yes.

  • Jeff calls.

    NFC title: Cards
    AFC title: Pats
    MVP: Brady (will play best 12 games in history)
    O-POY: Big Ben
    D-POY: Mack
    O-ROY: E. Elliot
    D-ROY: Floyd

    D-Roy, is that OUR Floyd, or did he misspell Carl Joseph?

    I actually pretty much agree with the rest of his predictions.

    Although I think Palmer has chance to be O-Poy.

    Break out player might be Winston

    • SC Dave

      He spelled Bears wrong in the first line, I think.

    • willbest

      Umm… Jack is his last name. Not a nickname for Joseph.

  • beninnorcal

    Is Kyle Long playing this week?

    • the new INJ format makes nearly every player “questionable” which is going to be SOOOO fucking annoying for fans.

      But I’m pretty sure he’s playing.

      • CanadaBear

        They don’t have to announce anything until Wed when the injury lists come out (100% with ya on the questionable designation).

        • It’s the Bill inj report.

          The NFL penalized the team for not playing a “probable” player, so Bill said, “fuck u then, everyone is questionable.” I think Brady has been questionable his whole career.

          Getting rid of the probable tag is gonna suck for fans (and gamblers).

          • SC Dave

            It’s fine. Fuck gambler interests.

          • On the plus side, it’ll make Schefter a staple sun mornings.

            He must be loving it.

      • MB30SD

    • CanadaBear

      So far.

    • EnderWiggin

      He’s practicing.

  • SC Dave

    It just occurred to me how funny the title of this thread is. Do we know?

    • BearDown100393

      #Undefeated

      • SC Dave

        #hugthatdream

        • MB30SD

          #drinkthekoolaid

    • Bender McLugh

      Completely agree, but we do know them for the first game at least

    • beninnorcal

      We know who we think they are, anyway.

  • beninnorcal

    The Bears are who we think they are.

    • beninnorcal

      RIP Denny Green.

    • beninnorcal

      This is Denny’s quote in the present tense.

  • In honor of Braverman actually making the roster and no longer working the 3rd shift as Arby’s manager, I must now change my handle.

    • PaceBot 2000

      PS?

  • PaceBot 2000

    They moved on the Robbie cut and Barth signing so fucking fast indicating a lot of research and scouting………..

    Jeff: “just give Robbie one or two games”…………?

    To make sure that the guys you really wanted weren’t available?

    • willbest

      I thought there was a Honda odyssey with 6 kickers that just travel from city to city based on which employed kicker had the worst week.

  • GPLDAN

    Score pricks said that Fox had gone to Pace, he did not like Robbie. Did not like his union rep status, his outspoken mouth and had him on his short list. When Robbie did not come into camp and play strong, Fox asked Pace “can I move him now?”

    Also, the guy we picked up was an ex-Saint. Then the Saints let the guy who REPLACED him go. So, should we get THAT guy instead?

    • BearDown100393

      Slow day on the radio apparently.

      • SC Dave

        Or some truth coming out.

        • MB30SD

          Gasp?

          • SC Dave

            We’ll never know.

          • If no other team picks Robbie up, maybe there’s a little truth to his “locker room” attitude, but I doubt it.

            He makes those kicks last year and this PS, he doesn’t get cut.

      • GPLDAN

        Bernstein always wants to talk about his “inside sources”

        Considering Halas Hall was all but up-ended, I don’t know who his inside person is. I think it may be in his head.

        • BearDown100393

          Considering the immediate mutual amicable PR from both Robbie Gould and the Bears, it seems far more likely (to me anyway) to be performance based versus Coach-Player problem.

        • This is his source.

        • BerwynBomber

          Bernstein is a prick but from what I recall his sources were pretty accurate.

  • GPLDAN
  • AlbertInTucson

    So, some pretty boy on NFL Network named Elliot Harrison is doing his NFL power rankings.

    According to him the Bears are (drum roll………cowbell!) #30.

    Right above the 49ers and the Browns.

    Just below the Chargers.

    • I hope someone on the Bears is collecting and posting all these “predictions” everywhere at Hallas Hall.

      That would get me royally pissed.

      • AlbertInTucson

        “Harrson. ELLIOT Harrison.”

        Never heard of him.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Packers are #4 on his list.

  • AlbertInTucson

    NFL Network Gameday Panel: Rich Eisen. Steve Mariucci, Marshall Faulk. Kurt Warner.

    Too bad it didn’t stop there.

    Michael Irvin.

    Talk about a “Turd in the Punch Bowl”.

    • BerwynBomber

      I’ll take Irvin over Faulk. The latter’s a bore and really say nothing of interest.

      • AlbertInTucson

        We disagree. Can’t stand Irvin’s constant yelling of his opinion.

        • BerwynBomber

          Valid point about Irvin.

  • BearDown100393
    • AlbertInTucson

      “There’s no good time to get cut,” he said. “There isn’t a way they can handle it that’s going to be bad or good. It’s just part of the business. They handled it great. They called me in. They talked to me personally. They were fantastic. I have no ill will. I have no bad feelings.”

      Class act. Class exit.

      Nothing to see here, folks, just move along.

      • MB30SD

        Hope he just retires and moves on to a different phase. Nice work robbie

        • CanadaBear

          I think he’s reading the tea leaves. Who knows? Kickers can lose it overnight or they can regain it and kick for a few more years.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Dude’s going home to smoke a bowl and have his missus roll around a bed of money.

        Break out the red panties baby!

        • Scharfinator

          And he likely doesn’t have the wonderful CTE issues most NFL players retire with.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Lamarcus Joyner wants out of LA?

    Welcome to Chicago. We’d have the best bunch of corners in the business. We could trade them like rare comics.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Nice article on QB’ing.

    I’ve long thought they made football too complicated. Look at the guys that play it. Look at the flummoxed William Hayes shaking his head as he walks through a Dinosaur exhibit, refusing to believe his eyes. That dude gets six million dollars a year. Most of these guys would have trouble with basic literacy and numeracy. Make it simple for them, football is only as hard as you make it.

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