162 Comments

Five Things I Wish the 2016 Bears Had (#2)

| September 1st, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-09-01 at 4.19.10 PM

#2 – Matt Slauson

Don’t care how Bears evaluated Slauson last year. If he were on the roster today he’d be the following:

  • Starting center
  • Backup left guard
  • Backup right guard

Slauson was affordable, versatile depth for a team that is sorely lacking such on the offensive line.

If you believe Bears are better without him, you’re wrong.

Tagged:

  • MB30SD

    Konichiwa bitches

    • MB30SD

      I said KONICHIWA BITCHES!

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        are you a little needy today?

        • MB30SD

          little

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            something to cheer you up.

            http://boobsarethegreatest.tumblr.com/

          • MB30SD

            my peaches! thank you for that… and it’s not even titties friday!

          • willbest

            You know the internet has me convinced that every woman with a great rack that at least isn’t overweight has posted or had nude photos of her posted. Because I so rarely happen across normal weight to thin women with spectacular breasts in real life that the only logical way to fill the internet up with them is for them all to be there.

      • Sactowns#1

        • MB30SD

          Saaaaac!!!

  • jimmychange

    Is it too early to think Ryan Pace isn’t ready for the job he’s got? Guy has made many questionable personnel decisions— much like Emery.

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      If Floyd and White bust, he would be off to a really bad start. That has not happened yet.

      • AlbertInTucson

        No, but I AM concerned about White’s almost complete invisibility to date.

      • BearDown100393

        Way too early…

    • EnderWiggin

      I think he has done a fantastic job. ‘Cept the Slauson thing. Do we blame injuries on him to? Probably not.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Fantastic? I dunno BUT, if there’s a GM who can predict which guys are or are not going to get injured, I haven’t seen him.

    • MB30SD

      you new here… you definitely aren’t knew here? (get it? knew?)

    • Sactowns#1

      BMarsh #1. His response in the interview yesterday, about how Fox and Pace had zero wiggle room for him to do other things outside of football spoke volumes. Fox is the old guard, that might get things done for now but that kind of strong arm tactic doesn’t last for long in the modern era.

      • willbest

        A local radio show is one thing. Flying out to New York seems quite another. And he probably wouldn’t have even have given a toss about that if Marshall were talking about the latest kitten memes instead of football.

        • Sactowns#1

          BMarsh was willing to settle for just working the bye week. They said no. How monumentally stupid do you have to be to let your ego of “because I said so” trump having one of the top 3 WR’s in the NFL?

          • SC Dave

            As with many things, it is not likely as simple as it appears.

          • Sactowns#1

            Achems razor my friend.

      • BerwynBomber

        I would take Marshall’s words with a grain of salt. It is not so much what did he say but what he didn’t, which was that everyone was purportedly tired of his act in the lockerroom.

        • willbest

          Plus you don’t know what type of fit he pitched before he came back and said “how about just the bye week?” If a person is going to throw a tantrum over something it won’t matter how reasonably they get later.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I still think it was a terrible idea. Look at the headcases Ditka had to contend with.
        Find a way. That’s management. That fucked our team. Find a compromise or suck it up.

    • willbest

      Amusingly I would rate his drafting better than his FA even though he was a pro-scout.

      Rolle was a bust. Royal is a bust unless he has like 750 yards and 7 TDs this year.
      McPhee looked like a solid signing but then the wheels fell off. Porter and Acho was where the value was at. Montgomery broke down (Pace has shit luck with centers it seems).

      But then you look at the draft and Goldman, Amos, and Langford can all at least play at the NFL level and could grow into something more. Jury is still out on White, and I am going to be a hard ass on him there since I will have deemed him to have played 1 NFL season.

      Again this year he is struggling with FA o-line acquisitions. But again he looks okay on this LB FAs assuming they don’t stay hurt.

    • Def some headscratchers, like Slauson and then investing on not 1 but 2 centers who retired.

      Also, Floyd is a HUGGGGE gamble. Yuge.

      One could argue he could’ve signed another TE, but I can understand him resigning Miller.

      1, u want to reward your guys to incentivize the rest, 2, Miller was really productive while in, 3 – FA TEs went for like $8M/yr.

      The other head scratcher was moving Long to RT almost without any reps. Like, wtf?

      Wanting to overpay CJ Anderson who I think is a JAG. I’d rather have kept Forte for cheaper.

      I don’t really get hoarding all the cap, but I’ll wait till next year to decide if it was for a reason.

      I don’t get them drafting Grassu. AT ALL. Esp with some dudes still on the board.

      I don’t get why they didn’t bring in a new punter already.

      There’s def some decisions that make me raise an eyebrow like Spock.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Missing Grasu is what might kill us.

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    It’s weird how apt the lyrics to Pigs are this fall.

    Big man, pig man
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    You well heeled big wheel
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    And when your hand is on your heart
    You’re nearly a good laugh
    Almost a joker
    With your head down in the pig bin
    Saying ‘Keep on digging’
    Pig stain on your fat chin
    What do you hope to find
    Down in the pig mine?
    You’re nearly a laugh
    You’re nearly a laugh
    But you’re really a cry

    Bus stop rat bag
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    You fucked up old hag
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    You radiate cold shafts of broken glass
    You’re nearly a good laugh
    Almost worth a quick grin
    You like the feel of steel
    You’re hot stuff with a hatpin
    And good fun with a hand gun
    You’re nearly a laugh
    You’re nearly a laugh
    But you’re really a cry

    Hey you, White House
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    You house proud town mouse
    Ha, ha, charade you are
    You’re trying to keep our feelings off the street
    You’re nearly a real treat
    All tight lips and cold feet
    And do you feel abused?
    You got to stem the evil tide
    And keep it all on the inside
    Mary you’re nearly a treat
    Mary you’re nearly a treat
    But you’re really a cry

  • willbest

    Okay this list is starting to baffle me. Since its a position list and mine would be

    #1 – A tackle that can usually win against the Von Millers of the world
    #2 – A corner that can cover #1 WRs
    #3 – Somebody that wouldn’t evoke laughter when compared to Earl Thomas
    #4 – durable competent TE
    #5 – Josh McCown

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      Best Bears safety in the last 10 years?

      Daniael Manning.

      That’s crazy,

      • MB30SD

        bru.fucking.tal.

        • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

          Best Bears safety in the last TWENTY years?

          Mike Brown (of course), followed closely by Tony Parrish.

  • willbest

    heh I forgot the Bears even played tonight. No… I won’t be watching… Though maybe I will turn it on for a little bit in the second half to see Fales light it up.

    • BearDown100393

      Fales must be up (or close) to setting all time Bears records for 4th games in the preseason.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “If you believe Bears are better without him , you’re wrong.”

    Complete moot point since NOBODY that I can think of, who isn’t a troll, championed the release of Matt Slauson on this Blog.

    • willbest

      Must be the nutters on Jeff’s twitter feed.

    • BearDown100393

      Tell it to POX.

      • willbest

        I did, I was dropping my kid off at the preschool and was like “yo Ryan… sup”. Incidentally, my next door neighbor really does indeed have coach Q’s cell phone number.

    • SC Dave

      Truth – the blog was pretty much as one on the ill-advised nature of releasing Slauson

      • willbest

        And we never agree on anything.

        • Rubyploomis1

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    • Scharfinator

      Sometimes you don’t always have inspiration but you need to write your next article on your blog 🙂

    • Irish Sweetness

      It’s about the only thing EVERYBODY agreed on. Ever.

  • willbest

    Woah Unrein is preparing like he is getting the night off.

    • PaceBot 2000

      can’t risk the DT/goal line FB

      • willbest

        He didn’t seem to stand out much as a DT

        • PaceBot 2000

          I’m willing to let it slide. Last year he played FB for 8 plays and we scored 8 times.

        • SC Dave

          DIdn’t he start last week?

          • Irish Sweetness

            Played DE. Not good and got flagged.

  • BearDown100393

    Telling myself I don’t care about tonight’s practice game scoreboard. Most importantly, do not want any of our guys injured. Best of luck to the bubble players with fates possibly yet to be determined. Dreams and careers are on the line. Meaningless? Of course not. The injury bug bit this team hard enough. Hopefully that will not be compounded further tonight.

  • BerwynBomber

    Anyone else prefer Fales play the entire game? I have little desire to watch Hoyer.

    • BearDown100393

      Maybe Hoyer is deemed more expendable, hence he plays.

      • BerwynBomber

        Well, shut my mouth. Hoyer’s on fire thus far.

        • willbest

          Aren’t the Browns playing their 1s?

          • BearDown100393

            Supposedly

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    OK so he does not want the USA flag taken off the helmet, but he *is* wearing Fuck the Pigs socks.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/49ers/2016/09/01/police-reaction-colin-kaepernick-pig-socks-san-francisco/89715672/

    • willbest

      As I said, I miss deflategate. At least that was a football related scandal

  • PaceBot 2000

    Bullard so quick off the ball. Floyd getting manhandled. CornWash plays great until he gets hurt every time. Nice to see White and Meredith move the chains.

    • willbest

      I hope CornWash knows to buy the kids of the medical staff presents.

    • Floyd manhandled.

      Get used to it.

      #onyxShea

      • MB30SD

        Brutal

    • SC Dave

      Cornwash = nero Conte?

  • BearDown100393

    Prediction for Tribune’s coverage tomorrow: QB controversy.

  • BearDown100393

    Only Jim Miller commentary could begin with praising Brian Hoyer and end with erroneously confusing Hoyer with Josh McCown.

    • BerwynBomber

      I don’t mind Mildew. Btw, you catch last week’s post-game with Lou Canellis and Hampton? Never knew Canellis was such a pipsqueak. Hamp, of course, is a big dude, but I don’t think he is any taller than 6’5″, and he was easily a foot taller than Canellis.

      • BearDown100393

        Hampton hulked over Lou. Canellis needs to stand on a box for those post game moments.

  • Gordy Glenn grappling Gordon mano-a-mano

    Let’s see what he’s made of (also, he’s holding everytime)

    • BearDown100393

      He’d be flagged on those in regular season.

  • BerwynBomber

    Hall has played well and this Houston-Carson kid doesn’t miss tackles.

  • I like that we’re playing McCown.

    He’s a real QB. He can start for a few teams. Nice test for our DBs.

    And Gordon vs our CBs is another trial by fire.

    • SC Dave

      Dont say that second sentence around the Cutler idolators.

  • How many more times do we play the Browns in the PS finale?

    Is that like a 10 year contract or something?

    • BerwynBomber

      13 straight counting tonight. But I don’t know what type of agreement is in place.

    • Cormonster

      How’s my boy Joe Schobert doing? He kicked ass last year at Wisconsin.

      • Haven’t noticed him, but they’re funneling in personnel. I’ll see if I can spot him.

        Edit. I think he made a nice 3rd down stop.

        • Cormonster

          Browns drafted him in the 4th round. Overachieving slow white linebacker who was always around the ball making big plays in big moments. Pacebot would love him.

          • Was he better than Borland?

            Those guys at worst make great sp teamers

          • Cormonster

            Oh, hell no. Borland was a beast all four years. One of my favorite Badgers ever. Schobert was very good though, especially as a senior. Had 9.5 sacks, 20 TFL and 4 FF last year. He made a lot of clutch plays in big moments.

  • MB30SD

    How are we looking… I can’t get it here and i have a date in 15

    • Hoyer doesn’t look like crap.
      Still no pass rush.
      CBs look ok.

      • MB30SD

        A glowing review! Hahaha

    • BearDown100393

      A good showing by Hoyer. White getting some work and completing receptions.

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      enjoy the BJ

  • Terry Williams and Acho QB sandwhich!

    Man, Williams just manhandled that dude. Right up the middle and Acho did his patented arch/bend.

    • Irish Sweetness

      IT’S TERRY FUCKING WILLIAMS!!

  • BearDown100393

    When Fales Met Braverman – A Football Life

  • Jesus, Braverman.

    He just missed a punt going over his head that he gave up on.

    Punt went 76 yds.

    Welcome back to Arbys!

  • Nice burst and vision by Howard.

    • wow. I was looking at Howard that whole time. Very nice adjustment by him on the route once he saw the QB scrambling.

      Soft hands too. 30yd play.

      • willbest

        So all we have to do is play the Browns backups every week and we win!

        • Pretty much!

          Though Howard has looked dominant, I must admit.

          Hopefully that transfers over a lil when it counts.

          • SC Dave

            Hopefully, especially since I predicted after the draft that he is our starter by week 4.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Me too! Crystal balls, Dave!

        • CanadaBear

          I’m good with that!

  • BerwynBomber

    Preseason referring. Never knew they intentionally pulled a ref to practice understaff. Makes sense.

  • PaceBot 2000

    Lasike and Scruggs just demolished the edge on that Howard td run

    • Those lanes are opened but Howard is impressing. He’s showing good vision, hitting the right hole and planting his foot down and just driving.

      He’s also showing a lil toughness. Dude landed on his head, kept chugging.

      • MB30SD

        Sounds like me on my date tonight.

        Ps. He was gooooorgeous!

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    Cut him!!!!

  • PaceBot 2000

    Is……Robbie trying to get cut?

  • PaceBot 2000

    Holy shit the Bears let some union plumber just suit up and blitz.

  • PaceBot 2000

    Lasike!!!!

    • 260 pounds of manmeat!

      • PaceBot 2000

        Braverman is going to put a sandwich on the menu called the Lasike. Just a hollowed out French loaf stuffed with 3 different slow roasted meats and no vegetables.

        • If you get 2 Lasikes, you get a Bigsby for free.

          • PaceBot 2000

            Was that the one that’s dipped in bacon grease and set on fire….then extinguished with whipped cream?

          • MB30SD

            Yummy

  • 7.5 yds per carry. Howard the Duck.

    Looks gassed and beat up though. I think Fox is riding him hard to see if he can handle it

  • PaceBot 2000

    Lasike is like a bowling ball of death

    • Watching this crap was almost worth that play alone.

    • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

      Is he Samoan? He seems Samoan.

      • related to Johnny Rocky Horror?

      • PaceBot 2000

        He’s definitely not Irish. He’s a rugby player from new Zealand I think.

        • MB30SD

          Maori

          Badass motherfuckers

  • Let Lasike run it in!

  • SC Dave

    That cunt Kaep decides to disrespect his homeland again.

    And poor Teddy blows everything apart in his knee in a non-contact injury.

    There is no God. Or at least none that demonstrates justice.

    • BearDown100393

      Ted only has one leg now but had the awareness to stand at attention by his hospital bed during the anthem.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      Gould continues to disrespect the Bears uniform by wearing it.

      • SC Dave

        I will, despite my better judgement, acknowledge you as a troll. Enjoy your time under the bridge.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          FYI, Kaep was not the only player tonight that did not stand for the Anthem. So disrespectful of them to “stand up” for something they believe in.

      • MB30SD

        Hahahahaha

    • AlbertInTucson

      He’s just an ignorant jock who insists upon parading his ignorance. He’s not worth getting worked up over.

  • BearDown100393

    Nathan Lane interviewed about ball touching.

  • GP portrayed by Eric Roberts

    Howard has wheels to the outside. His speed to the corner is much better than I thought.

    Nice toughness on the score. He did fumble when he was gassed.

  • BearDown100393

    This “game” must have been blacked out in Cleveland.

  • Christian Jones playing this late does not bode well for his Bears future.

  • PaceBot 2000

    Bears punt returners all trying to get cut.

  • PaceBot 2000

    I think they’re going to try and hide Nerdecker on the PS

  • Why are they putting Howard back out?

    Getting him to 100?

    • BearDown100393

      This is dumb.

      • Howard just refuses to go backwards.

        He always falls forward.

        • BearDown100393

          True Fact: George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raped Indiana Jones on a Howard the Duck pinball machine.

        • SC Dave

          Falling forward is a good thing. Got Payton about 3500 career yards.

  • PaceBot 2000

    Kevin white showed me something tonight. I can see him catching 7 balls a game easy this season.

  • SC Dave

    Not watching… unfortunately not seeing Howard

    • BearDown100393

      His game worn will be popping up on Ebay within moments.

    • He rushed for 107! in 2 quarters.

      He was avg about 7 yds before he started gassing out. I mean, Fox was literally just running him like 5 times in row. Couldn’t be stopped.

      I know it’s the backups, but still, impressive (we’re playing with backup oline)

      • PaceBot 2000

        It’s weird, our backup o line is the Colts old starting center, the steelers old starting tackle, the Panthers old starting guard and some dude named Gary.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I hoped he’d be starting within two three weeks. I’m pumped. And he’s sitting on about 30 FF teams for me.

  • BerwynBomber

    Meredith and Houston-Carson made the team tonight.

    • willbest

      scanning this thread it seems like there are 62 bears that made the team tonight.

    • PaceBot 2000

      Not impressed with DHC at all.

      • BerwynBomber

        This was the only PS game I’ve really watched but he seemed to make every tackle he could have tonight — stuck a couple of guys actually. My guess is Fox will want that for STs if nothing else. But again, I only watched tonight.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Meredith made it last week. He’s a baller.

  • willbest

    Lol.

    We didn’t mean to imply that we believe that Melania Trump is Pretty Woman. Just that somebody published a book on Amazon alleging it, and we thought it might be something the electorate would have to deal with.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3769798/Melania-Trump-retraction.html

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    Jeff going off on Mariotti on twitter.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog
      Hey @MariottiSports, most people think you’re dead.”

      …and the ones that DON’T wish you were, Jay.

    • AlbertInTucson

      His twitter page advertises him as “..an accomplished writer and commentator.”

      THAT’s why most people think he’s dead?

    • AlbertInTucson

      Blogfather, you’ve just given Maroitti the most exposure he’s had in about a decade.

      Shame on you.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Jay Mariotti ‏@MariottiSports 2h2 hours ago
      Yo, bloggers:
      We make millions. You make nickels.
      We make intellectual impact. You serve stoners and bankrupt web goofs.
      We write. You type

  • Irish Sweetness

    Haven’t seen the game yet, but saw some highlights and read these two threads.

    Glad to hear and see Howard do his thing. Glad to see Cameron is still our best receiver out there, and glad to see Kevin can actually catch the ball. Our corners are apparently continuing to shine and that our DBs in general are coming together. All good.

    There is still some confusion here about David Fales. The boy has never done anything wrong. Has he ever thrown an interception? Look at Jordan Howard’s 32-yard reception. That’s all David Fales getting out of trouble, having touch and accuracy. Being smart. Anyone seriously considering that Hoyer is a better QB … I don’t know what to say to them. We’d be the luckiest team in the league if Shaw was healthy (minus Hoyer of course).

    Let’s not throw Floyd under the bus just yet. We know he really has the one skill, rushing the passer. He just has to choose the right approach and that will come with time (we hope).

    But really pumped about Howard, he is our best back and will see lots of action. Just a shame at what happened with the Center position. We could have been good, we may still be.

    Definitely a super bowl run next season.

  • Rubyploomis1

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ie267t:
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    !ie267t:
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