244 Comments

Across the Middle with Andrew Dannehy: Who/What to Watch at the Combine

| February 24th, 2016

Kevin White

Editor’s Note: I will not watch any of the Combine. My thoughts on the charade are well known. So thankfully, Andrew is around.

I don’t care what anybody says, the NFL combine is a valuable part of the predraft process. It has become popular to understate the value of the NFL Combine but if it didn’t matter, teams wouldn’t send every scout and coach they have. The common theme amongst former scouts is that the workouts are mostly to confirm what they have seen on tape. A lot of times, however, it makes them re-watch the tape and, sometimes changes their views on certain players. We, as fans, and NFL teams are going to get a lot of valuable information this week.

The best skill position players in the league are almost always athletic freaks. Two years ago, Aaron Donald went from being a guy mocked in the third round to a consensus top-15 pick just by putting on a show at the combine. There are certainly exceptions to the rule, but not many.

The elite talents are usually obvious on tape, but the numbers are about more than separating the elite. NFL teams have minimums or bench marks that they look for at each position. Just last year, Greg Gabriel deemed current Baltimore Ravens tight end Maxx Williams as being not good enough to be selected in the first round seconds after he ran the 40-yard dash, claiming Williams needed to break into the 4.6-range to be drafted in the first round. Greg was right.

The two most important parts of the combine are the physicals and the interviews, neither of which we get to see. But there’s still valuable information that we can learn.

Here are a few things to watch for the Bears this year:

Defensive Linemen

The Bears had one of the worst defensive lines in the league this year and the draft is stacked at that position.

The headliner is DeForest Buckner and, with a good performance, he’ll solidify himself as a top-10 pick. My guess is he’ll do just that.

One specific player to watch is Alabama’s A’Shawn Robinson. Robinson has been mocked to the Bears his scouting report reads a lot like that of Ego Ferguson. Both are big guys who are hard to move out of the way, but neither puts pressure on the quarterback. It’s possible Robinson was just held back by Alabama’s scheme. At the combine, he has a chance to prove he has potential to do more.

Other guys to watch include Andrew Billings, Jonathan Bullard, Vernon Butler, Austin Johnson, Bronson Kaufusi. Robert Nkemdiche would be on the list, but the most important information for him is going to come in the interview.

Pass Rushers

One of the noteworthy things Ryan Pace said during his postseason press conference was that the Bears needed to improve their pass rush. This year’s draft doesn’t look very strong at the top, but it could hold some surprises.

At this time last year, the 2015 draft was being praised as being loaded with pass rushers. None of them turned out. This year, there are some interesting prospects, like Shaq Lawson, Carl Nassib, Kevin Dodd and Shilique Calhoun.

Historically, athleticism directly links to success as a pass-rusher. Justis Mosqueda of Draft Breakdown has a formula which he uses that has proven nearly fool-roof, based solely on the athleticism of the players. As I wrote last year, the three-cone drill is one of the biggest tells for pass-rushers.

Length Is King

Whether it’s a defensive lineman or pass rusher, the Bears are going to value players with long arms. Throughout John Fox’s time with the Broncos and Vic Fangio’s time with the 49ers, neither team drafted a single player at either position who had arms shorter than 33 inches. That’s 13 players. This is not a coincidence.

What does that mean? Don’t expect the team to look very hard at Noah Spence, Sheldon Rankins, Jarran Reed or Sheldon Day, all measuring under 33 inches as the Senior Bowl. Guys they’re more likely to look at include Kaufusi, Jordan Jekins, Vernon Butler and Adolph Washington. Of course, this is also where Robinson can show he’s a better prospect than Ferguson. By that standard, the Bears wouldn’t have touched Ferguson.

The Need for Speed

The Bears will be able to make up for their lack of speed on offense with the returns of Eddie Royal and Kevin White, but they still have a major issue on defense.

The Fangio defense usually has four big guys up front, with his outside linebackers being larger than the typical 3-4 outside backer. It worked in San Francisco because they had Bowman and Willis covering so much ground. The best individual performance the Bears got from a linebacker last year was Jonathan Anderson against the Packers simply because he was too fast for them to block him. Of course, that’s all Anderson was.

According to Football Outsiders, the Bears were the best team in the league at forcing teams to throw short of the first down marker. Yet, they were among the worst teams in the league at stopping teams on third down because they couldn’t catch them. It isn’t just the inside linebacker position, it’s the entire defense that needs to be faster.

Speed isn’t just about the 40-time. The measurable varies for this based on the position. Neither of Denver’s inside linebackers ran better than  4.8 in the 40, but they had great 20-yard shuttle times, showing they can change directions. They need to change directions, they rarely need to run 40 yards. The distances they put up in the jumping events are also important because that shows explosiveness, important for linebackers to get to a spot quicker than the offensive player.

For defensive backs, the 40-yard dash has proven much more crucial and former NFL GM Ted Sundquist put together a list about what is most important for each position.

Tagged: , ,

  • MB30SD

    Oh well herroooooooo.

    Konichiwa bitches!

    Cutty/White… and lawson fo office 2016!

    Oh and andrew, I’ve been told by some…. friends, that girth, not length, is actually king. Fyi…

    • Johnnywad

      Blue chippers got both. Just sayin

  • Irish Sweetness

    I hope Derrick Henry has too many burgers the day before his 40, because I want him there in the second after we draft Ragland. We can still sign Trevathan AND Wilkerson … because AJ will have walked his soft little as out that door. Right boys??

    • DaCoaches Mustache

      Joffrey ain’t going nowhere

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Poop pudding and tuna cans…yessir, glad I’m back.

    • Cormonster

      One of my favorite news stories last year was the poop swastika at University of Missouri that started that whole shit show of protests.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Well, this quote just makes me wanna go buy his jersey already…
    “(Robinson) has a chance to prove he has potential to do more”
    .
    But does he have the potential to prove that he has a chance to be gooder than he maybe would be thought otherwise if he didn’t demonstrate his physicalities?
    Ugh.

    • MB30SD

      Sawl about the physicalities maingses

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Bawls out, lawls out…sawls all?

        • MB30SD

          That works.

    • Scharfinator

      This sounds like something Derek Zoolander would say.

      It is the best.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Nate ‘The Crackhead’ just got his wish for a beatdown by The Notorious.

    Break out the red panties.

    • MB30SD

      He’ll get destroyed. .. although everyone has that one match up that just clicks. Ask Ronda “got knocked the FUCK OUT” rousey

  • burntorangenavyblue

    As I said in the last post, millions of dollars are at stake for both sides in the combine, Jeff. It matters and if it minimizes potential busts and unknowns coming into camp, then that’s fine.

    We get your stance on this issue but what can you do about it? Nothing really. So be a trooper and if you don’t like it, just stop complaining.

    • MB30SD

      This

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    really looking like Jeffery is going to be on the team next year

    http://chicago.suntimes.com/sports/7/71/1349529/bears-negotiating-alshon-jeffery-say-wants

    also per twitter @AdamSchefter
    Bears are expected to retain WR Alshon Jeffery, either by signing him to long term deal or tagging him, per sources.

    • Shady

      Well that pokes a hole in Jefe’s theory about Pace being willing to “move on” from Jeffery as leverage in negotiations.

      • Trac

        It’s gonna have to be a sweet contract if he signs a longterm imo.

      • willbest

        Jeffery hitting FA gives him the leverage. The only thing Pace can do is play chicken with the Tag deadline.

    • Johnnywad

      This is beginning to remind me of the Cutler sweepstakes last season. I never thought Cutler was gone and I have not thought Alshon was leaving.

      He may be soft, and he may be lazy, but when he plays ball, the offense looks different. Until White is a known commodity, he has to remain a Bear.

      He either takes what reasonable people determine his fair market value to be, or he gets tagged.

      • BillW

        “…but when he plays ball, the offense looks different.”

        Excellent way to say it. No need for long explanations etc. Summed up perfectly in that one phrase.

        • SC Dave

          Different as in ‘better’

          • BillW

            Yes – I assumed that.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I’m considering my opus ….

  • Trac

    Key’s to unlocking ” The Mystery of Jeff’s Mind” – by Dan Brown.

    Slaver Podium = NFL Combine
    NFL Owners = The Priory of Scion
    Roger Goodell = Silas
    NFL Draft = The Holy Grail

    What have I left out? Hee hee.

    • MB30SD

      CD = the son of god?

      • Trac

        Ishmael is better, no?

        • MB30SD

          No idea mate, you tell me.

          • Trac

            Fools gold.

          • MB30SD

            Fools aluminum. Gold my ass.

          • SC Dave

            That was good. Maybe tin?

          • MB30SD

            whichever is weaker… we’ll settle on that one my maings

  • AlbertInTucson

    “DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog

    This is very true. Every time I write it I get death threats but the coaching staff very much likes Shea McClellin.”

    Include me in the “I don’t get that.” group.

    • CanadaBear

      I don’t get either group. How could they possibly like CD (other than personally) and why would anyone get that upset over something written on a sports blog?

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Tuna can!!!

      • willbest

        I have already explained it. He has naked pictures of Gina, it is the only possible explanation at this point.

      • Johnnywad

        It has to be Aaron Rodgers’ broken collar bone. That play bought the kid a few years in the league. I just don’t see anything else to point at.

    • AlbertInTucson

      To be clear, it’s the “I don’t get the CD love” group.

      • SC Dave

        Not singling you out al, but do people believe in the staff, or not?

        • AlbertInTucson

          Sure.

          That said, I do NOT see what THEY supposedly see in McClellin.

          I can believe in them without endorsing every move the do or do not make.

          • Irish Sweetness

            He’s out of contract now right?

          • CanadaBear

            YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • MB30SD

          not when it comes to that absolute dud. it’s all bullshit, the second they fine a capable replacement that dude’s back bailin hay on pappy’s farm

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Aaron Donald won the Lombardi, the Nagurski, the Outland, and the Bednarik during his senior year, along with being the ACC Defensive Player of the Year.
    I don’t think he was exactly an unknown before the Combine and thanks to the interwebs, I can even provide you with evidence that most of the early to mid-February pre-Combine mock drafts showed him as a consensus top-20 pick.
    C’mon, maings.

  • Bender McLugh

    Blog Fadder –

    “Editor’s Note: I will not watch any of the Combine. My thoughts on the charade are well known. So thankfully, Andrew is around.”

    Andrew –

    “I don’t care what anybody says, the NFL combine is a valuable part of the predraft process.”

    Love the repartee!

    • Trac

      Now we all know why Jeff still has confidence in politics. Hee hee.

    • BearDown100393

      They are really growing old well together – just like Siskel and Ebert.

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        ha. 200 blog points for mentioning Mean Gene

      • Sactowns#1

        I think its more like Statler and Waldorf.

  • willbest

    Irish, you are trying to give me an aneurism. I am on to you. Jeffery is a stud.

    • MB30SD

      A lazy ass stud

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        So was the incredible Randy?

        • MB30SD

          did you just mention those two in the same short sentence?!?!? Shutyomouth!

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Well, he WAS pretty lazy, H.
            Quite possibly the most physically talented receiver in NFL history, but holy shit was he lazy.

          • MB30SD

            Oh I agree… but aj ain’t got a 5th of his talent, hence, stfu and play punk

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            No way, AJ is at least 0.45 as talented as Moss. And less mooning per contract dollar.

          • MB30SD

            that’s my point, I want maximum moonings for my contract dollar maings.

        • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

          This is the incredible Randi, holmes

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            What’s his 40 time? Guy looks like he’d be easy to knock off his route.

      • willbest

        Pretty sure you are only saying that because he didn’t get up there and ramble incoherently for 45 minutes about he was the victim in the whole beating his girlfriend incident. As we all know, that is the mark of a stud WR that cares.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          pretty sure AJ would do that too. However, he would be too lazy to print out the packet of documents he gave to all the media.

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        Soft. He’s soft.

    • Irish Sweetness

      4 TDs in nine games. Yup, he’s Jerry Rice.

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        so if he played all 16 we could assume that he would have anywhere between 7-9 TDs for the year. Go look at the TD totals for WRs in that range, a lot of “big” names in that group.

        • Irish Sweetness

          It looks like he’ll be a Bear now… and that’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong. He’s good, not great. I hope Kevin is great, and then it doesn’t matter either way.

          • MB30SD

            agree with this pretty much… he COULD be great, he’s just a lazzy soft punk so he won’t ever be. sad.

  • MB30SD
    • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

      2100 bhp? 2100?

      That takes the ‘my cock is bigger than yours’ argument into outer space.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        How does it not just disintegrate into a cloud of toxic metals and rubber as soon as you hit the accelerator?

        • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

          Ferrari engineering showed with La Ferrari that even in a highly peaked torque curve against AWD, anything beyond 900 bhp is basically unusable.

          Wind resistance becomes logarithmic above 200mph. It takes gobs of more bhp to get from 220 to 230, 230 to 240 etc. So it could all be dynamically deployed there, but once the engine is generating above 1000 or so, there’s really nowhere for that torque to go. Tires just won’t hold

          • MB30SD

            captn… I’m Givin her all she’s got!!

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I knew this idea was just ahead of its time:
            https://youtu.be/Afofc_Jt86s

            Problem solved (until the torque turns the axle into aluminum dust)

          • MB30SD

            DUDE! I had one. thing was awesome, for about 5 minutes until it broke. :_ (

      • MB30SD

        And I just realized after watching Spectre again last night for the 4th time that the big Samoan is driving the jag. Thing’s beautiful

        • Trac

          Watched that the other day. I had images of GP crying when the AM plunged into the canal.

  • Bender McLugh

    Has anyone seen Horace & Pete yet? It’s Louis C.K.’s latest project, he took a break from Louis to film it. 4 episodes so far, seriously great cast too. Good stuff.

    • Sactowns#1

      $5 a pop. Wow. Luis thinks highly of his work.

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        It’s all staged live and done straight up. He’s got serious chop actors in there, and he’s doing the direct model, where it’s straight up on iTunes

        H’es basically trying to Pearl Jam v Ticketmaster the thang.

        • Sactowns#1

          But at 30 minute episodes that’s $20 for the equivalent of a 2 hour movie. And I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of special effects or crazy locations being used.

          • Bender McLugh

            $5 was only for the first episode, at least directly from his site. The subsequent episodes are $3 or $2, so not that hateful.

            Episodes 3 & 4 go by way too quickly though.

          • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

            Also Episode 1 was not 30m. It was an hour.

          • Sactowns#1

            Hey I’m sure it’s a great show, I’m just pointing out the fact that 10 episodes will cost you more than 3 months of Netflix and all that comes with it.

    • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

      I saw the first episode where Edie Falco shows up and wants the bar. Ain’t that just like a bitch.

      I thought Alda’s cranky pants was awesome. There was no Hawkeye Pierce in that character.

      Also, Buscemi rules.

      • Bender McLugh

        agree on all points. I can’t think of another Alda character I like better than this one. Fantastically written.

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    Nice Saturday shirt, Fox Mulder

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cb_d3WxXEAAKcrk.jpg

    • MB30SD

      Turrible, just turrible.

      I think my brother has that shirt

      • Sactowns#1

        I believe that was from the 1998 Gap collection.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Foxy strikes me as a lands end type of guy.

          • Bender McLugh

            that is CLEARLY an Erewhon shirt, bought from Woodfield Mall

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    Robot football, bitches. It will be all about Robot football soon. Sooner than you think

    • Bender McLugh

      “The video shows ATLAS walk, open a door, maintain its balance while
      it walks through snow and semi-rough terrain, squat and pick up 10-pound
      boxes and much more. And it does everything without a tether. The new
      version is electrically powered and hydraulically actuated. It uses
      sensors in its body and legs to balance and LIDAR and stereo sensors in
      its head to avoid obstacles, assess the terrain and help with
      navigation. This version of Atlas is about 5′ 9″ tall (about a head
      shorter than the DRC Atlas) and weighs 180 lbs.”

      So it already has more awareness than Chicken Dinner.

    • BearDown100393

      This bot walks like Ducasse approaching the line. Yet possesses the “awareness” not to false start. Angelo would draft it without hesitation.

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        The Atlas is 5’9″, 180. So it’s about the size of Chicken Dinner.

        And it can spot Vontaze Burfict 100 points on the SAT and still cruise to the win.

        • MB30SD

          that thing is so fucking creepy

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        It’d be the best o-line signing of his career.

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    MB –

    We need to punch up our Top Gear shit show to compete with Clarkson….hmmmm

    Let’s get Joey from Friends!

    http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/18260/production/_88421989_topgear1_bbc.jpg

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      I saw that and figure the BBC decided to suck all discernible personality and humor from the show to ensure it ends quickly.
      Turrrrrrrruble..

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        I feel bad for Chris Harris. Made his name through sweat equity and his Youtube channel.

        When that boat sinks in the inevitable shit typhoon, he’ll be hurt by it.

        I love his review of the GT3RS

      • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

        Ed Zachary, Once you go full retard, nobody takes you seriously again.

  • BearDown100393

    Not sure if this is really “news” but Pace confirms no deal ever offered to Forte. IMO Forte is off to Green Bay. http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago-bears/post/_/id/4702025/ryan-pace-bears-never-offered-matt-forte-reduced-contract-to-stay

    • SC Dave

      Exactly as i suspected. If Langford doesnt pan out, this will go down as a manuver worthy of Phil Emery.

      Only time will tell.

      • BillW

        Not quite. Forte doesn’t have much left. I would have like to have him stay, but it would be tough to criticize getting rid of an aging RB. He can help a team ready to compete (GB, NE, Seattle) but not necessarily help us in the same way.

        And let’s say Langford doesn’t pan out. Would we even know that if Forte was getting 50% or more of the snaps? So by not being here, Forte helps the Bears by settling the Langford question.

        • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

          Forte’s tank is empty? You sure about that? Mind if we hold you to that?

          • I think he has 1 more Forte year, then the wheels are likely falling off. Nagging injuries and such.

          • CanadaBear

            If he goes to NE or some place that knows how to use him, he could last another 2-3 years. Hopefully he ends up in the AFC.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            As a 3rd down back in NE, he’d be a great weapon. I agree – please sign in the AFC, and preferably not a team we play this year.

          • BillW

            Read it again. I didn’t say empty tank

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          this is one of the few times I agree with you Bill.

          • BillW

            “Don’t worry. I won’t let it go to my head.” . Fezzik

        • Irish Sweetness

          If Derrick Henry is on the board and we pass on him in the second I’ll be very unhappy. He seems like a rare one. Doak Walker, Heisman winner, with that size and speed. Did he have a 10 YPC average as a freshman? Defenses have to respect a man that size … makes for killer play-action stuff of the back of that.

    • BillW

      I think Seattle or NE.

      (Actually, I hope it’s Seattle or NE and not GB.)

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    Cartoon of the day? Since the Apple thing keeps bouncing around

    http://tinyurl.com/z8egt2u

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    backpfeifengesicht

    • Shady

      Backpfeifengesicht
      A German compund word/term that loosely translates to “Cheek pipe face”.

      In common use it means something to the effect of “A face badly in need of a fist” meaning this is a person that needs to be punched. Alternate translations list the given action as “slap” rather than “punch” or the given weapon as “crowbar” rather than “fist”.

  • Trac
  • Shady

    Tennessee football not having a good offseason.

    • Trac

      Yup, like I said before, football has a lot of slime attached to it.

      • MB30SD

        every big business does maings. de nile ain’t just…

        • Trac

          I knows dis.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Adios, Butch Jones?

  • MB30SD

    learn a little sumfim today boys: http://www.abc.net.au/austory/

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    Um, hello!?!?

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/14838438/philadelphia-eagles-cut-demeco-ryans

    Dude was all over the field last year. yes please! Like, right now?!

    • Irish Sweetness

      31, brah? No all-in on signing Trevathan, with drafting Ragland? Keep it young and sprung?

      • MB30SD

        100% in on danny, not sold on raglan over jack or smith… yet.

        He’s a leader. Def worth a shot for vet min

        • Irish Sweetness

          We need an ILB, big time. Even if we get Trevathan … just use Timu as a rottional guy.

    • DaMurph

      Hes a playa! i sure would kick those tires and see if we can make a deal.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      I dunno…if you’re bringing him in, you’re doing it for the clubhouse influence, not for the numbers.
      His production fell off a cliff, which is not a good sign at 31.

      • MB30SD

        Coming off a bad injury. Maybe this is his rebound year… was what I was thinking.

        Worth vet min right

        • AlbertInTucson

          Ryans or McLellin? Hmmm…

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Can we just draft somebody else?

          • AlbertInTucson

            Not suggesting they still do not draft for D.

          • MB30SD

            the only thing cd needs is fucking das boot

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Vet minimum, yes.

  • Irish Sweetness

    DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog

    Schefter’s report is based on team information. Rap’s report came from Alshon’s agent, trying to pressure Bears. https://twitter.com/chibearsad/status/702518702432866304

    Who and the what now? Did Pace not speak up at the combine, or was it Alshon’s agent spouting that?

  • Irish Sweetness

    DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog

    Griffin is an interesting weapon to bring off the bench. But Bears don’t need to put significant $ into backup QB. https://twitter.com/tonyhustlehb/status/702238141940301825

    Would we say that if Cutty went down in pre-season or week 2? I’d absolutely throw 5M at Fitzy if the Jets are thinking of starting Atkins. We shouldn’t put all our eggs in one basket.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      You have an unusual fascination with Ryan Fitzpatrick. NTTAWWT, just an observation.
      Griffin’s problem isn’t so much his knee as his head is broken – not the type of you guy you want sitting around with the other second stringers.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I can’t imagine anyone else going under center. I think it’s a beard thing. I like Falesy, but he’s a kid.

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          The last backup QB to steal my heart…well, let’s just say the highlight of his time here was throwing a pick six to a fat guy in yellow and green.
          I can’t trust another backup like that again.

          • Sactowns#1

            You know none of this would even be an issue if we just drafted Jimmy Garapolo. Everyone knew it was a no brainer except the Bears.

          • MB30SD

            too hurt.

            fuck you and your hula you fat cunt

      • MB30SD

        NO on griffin. Yes on fitz… he’s super smart, and he looks like a really smart viking

        • Irish Sweetness

          Vikings season 4 is on. Anyone watching? Also Better Call Saul.

          • MB30SD

            Disney. Pixar. Etc…

          • Irish Sweetness

            Disney own my kids, and now with buying Lucasfilm, they own me.

            Dunny thing. They buy Lucasfilm for 4.5 Billion. One movie later, they’re in 5.5 Billion profit. 10 Billion off one movie. There will be a SW universe movie out every year from now on. Rogue One, Han Solo, Ep VIII ….

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            They also own Marvel – so they pretty much get all of my money at the theater.
            Not sure how I feel about that, but it is what it is.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Yeah, when you’re that big … then again, I’ve loved their movies in one form or another since I was a nipper. I just wished I’d made the connection and bought shares!

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Would’ve been pretty damn cheap about 10-15 years ago.

          • Sactowns#1

            I don’t know how much longer the super hero train will keep rolling. I think Deadpool was the opening salvo and it signals the death of these franchises. When they become so contrived and repetitive that they become fodder for parody then the fad is over. Like gumshoe movies of the 40’s and 50’s (answered by Cheap Detective, Dead Men don’t wear plaid etc) and westerns of the 60’s and 70’s (Blazing Saddles, Cat Balou etc) people are now pointing out the problem with endlessly repeating the same basic story elements.

          • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

            They just need to move off origin stories.

            “Ray” and “Walk the Line” about Ray Charles and Johnny Cash effectively broke the music biopic. The formula was stale, so doing other musicians was stupid, hence the “Walk Hard” parody.

          • I think a famous writer said there’s only like 5 stories ever written, and the rest are just variations on a theme.

            But, you might be right about comic movies.

            The thing that corporations found out was that humans are programmed to gravitate towards narrative.

            And comics had a built-in narrative that were already invested.

            It’s kinda like the evolution of Street Fighter.

            At first, it was just ninja guy, ryu, ken, etc. Some cheapy ending like Blanca finding his mom.

            But game developers found out that if they give each character a back story, like a comic book character, and put a story to them, that gamers would be much more invested in their product.

            Disney does the same with its rides.

            Anyways, what was I saying?

            Oh yeah, boobs.

          • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

            8000bz

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Haaaavahd – I don’t dislike him, but he’s going to get re-upped by the J-E-T-S, so it’s a moot point.
          Griffin should sue Shanny for coaching malpractice – he’s ruined now.

    • Sactowns#1

      I would love if we got Fitzpatrick. I’ve liked that guys game for some time now.

  • Trac

    Want a good chuckle?

    Trac: hey honey, what’s with the new white shag area rug in the LR.

    Wifey: I think it’s pretty.

    Trac: But we’ve got 3 dogs.

    Wifey: So, I like it, it’s pretty.

    Trac: But we’ve got 3 dogs.

    The next 3 days, heavy rains drench the back yard.

    Angry wifey: Who tracked in all this mud on my brand new area rug?

    Trac: We’ve got an English Mastiff, a Boston Terrier and a French Bull. Take your pick. Smh.

    • CanadaBear

      How long did it take you to get the white rug clean? Been there, brother!

      • Trac

        It now hangs over the fence in the back yard as a memorial. We have red clay. Hahaha.

        • CanadaBear

          You knew the minute you saw it things would end like this. That is marriage in a nutshell. Always good when you can laugh about it.

          • Trac

            You have said it. Lol

    • MB30SD

      Women… smh.

      But God forbid you buy yourself a new power tool after an old one burns out. Women… smh

      • Trac

        Well, I don’t have that problem, primarily because I let her keep all her money. There is this unwritten rule that only women get to decorate though. It’s a turrible thing.

    • DaMurph

      And dinner that night was? Mustard sammich on stale white?

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    Crazy Chick calls out her CEO at Yelp. Gets canned.

    https://medium.com/@taliajane/an-open-letter-to-my-ceo-fb73df021e7a#.b8fo5ftz6

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      “I’m so surprised that a millenial got herself shitcanned by talking garbage on social media about her employer and whining about how expensive SF housing is!” said no one. Ever.

      • That Guy

        Her own profile says “Better at thinking about things than actually doing them”

        People have got to learn to be happy with less. That doesn’t mean to stop trying to earn big. It means stop spending all the money as soon as you get it.

        • Trac

          As a wise old Hebrew once said, “it’s not how much you make but how much you save”. He said that to all his employees. Hee hee.

    • CanadaBear

      Started to read it and all I could think was “get a roommate ya twit”. I skipped to the end and was not shocked to see online begging.

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored
    • MB30SD

      yes

  • MB30SD

    happy exercise thursday bitches.

    http://tinyurl.com/jeztv33

    • DaMurph

      I watched for 30 minutes waiting for that top to come down. Maybe Ill try again a little later. Ha!!

      • MB30SD

        def keep trying murph

  • I know we have a couple lawyers on here, arm chair or not.

    What IS star-trek? Sounds like a metaphysical question, and if lawyers were metaphysichians they’d be priests and rabbis….

    https://www.inverse.com/article/11905-paramount-must-explain-star-trek-in-court-or-lose-ownership

    • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

      I’m not a lawyer but I asked Urban Dictionary:

      Star Trek: When a pale chick with freckles all over her ass sits on your face and you exclaim “my god, it’s full of stars!”

    • Sactowns#1

      Very interesting. And I would think many of these studios would understand that fan made films will never compete with Hollywood produced movies so just let it go and be glad your fanbase is expanding.

      • That Guy

        Star Trek apparently has been really good about encouraging fan fiction over the years. This particular project got them upset because (a) the makers are seeking outside funding in a “for profit” style venture; (b) the numbers in questions (over a million dollars) are a lot bigger than “fan made” fiction generally is.

        There are probably dozens, if not hundreds, of fan films that came out over the years which were made without incident. But I think those were by and large privately funded with budgets of less than $10,000.

    • willbest

      Its a derivative work. I watched 2 minutes of the trailer. Paramount could probably generate a list of hundreds of copyright violations. They even hired one of the actors who was in Enterprise to reprise his role. The only thing they will do is delay getting their ass smacked by a few months. Maybe give them some time to negotiate.

      • That Guy

        Derivative work is the operative legal term for sure. And really some stuff might even be direct copyright (or trademark) infringement. Still, you have to explain what copyrighted materials you are deriving your work from.

        Off the top of my head: the starfleet logo, certain characters, certain specific fantasy technologies, characters, the “Federation,” certain alien races (klingons, romulans, etc.), the uniforms, any references to mythology from the existing canon, the uniforms…

    • MB30SD

      Doooooon’t caaaaaaaare

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    btw, damn, KWhite looks like he can eat a tomato through a picket fence.

    He’s going for the strahan

    • Johnnywad

      LOL!!!

    • DaMurph

      I was thinking he has that Strahan gap, maybe he has some of his genes too!

      • MB30SD

        racist

        • Sactowns#1

          Yeah, it’s more of a Letterman gap.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Love the gap. And look at that body. Studly Studderson..

  • willbest

    Just for reference 3/4ths of an inch would be a penny. So a roll of those.

    • MB30SD

      Tuna can?

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Tuna can!!!

  • CanadaBear
    • Irish Sweetness

      What we learned ? Nothing.

      Uni is gone. Aj wants payment.

      • CanadaBear

        I’ll try harder next time.

        • Irish Sweetness

          They’re all just click-bait at this time of the year, aren’t they?

          • CanadaBear

            More or less but if you glean anything from an article at this time of year, I’ll take it.

    • Jesus.

      “The Bears remain believers in McClellin. He is one of the three free agents that Pace addressed at the combine.

      “We like Shea,” Pace said. “We feel like his arrow is still pointing up, especially at inside linebacker. I thought our defensive coaches did a great job with him. It’s a decision we’re going to have to make.”

      That’s demoralizing.

      • scrolling down a bit.

        “As solid as the Bears’ defense was in 2015, it still finished 22nd in
        sacks with 35 and tied for 30th in interceptions with eight and forced
        fumbles with six.”

        More playmakers. Faster. Meaner.

      • CanadaBear

        I can’t understand it either. I get being complimentary to the guy (that’s just being professional) but anything beyond that blows my mind.

  • Fun Fact: No Pro Bowl linebacker has ever had a penile girth of less than 3/4 of an inch. – Jeff

    As I always refrain. It’s all about the GIRTH.

    However, if a LB ran a 4.9 40, I wonder if Jeff would still want him.
    Or if a Dlinemen benched less than a CB.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Trick fact – the Bears had one. Hunter Hillenmeyer! A clitoris doesn’t count, right?

      • MB30SD

        Shae McClellin *is* hunter hillenmeyer’s clitoris!

        • Bender McLugh

          ” I am Hunter’s inflamed clitoris” – Shae talking to himself in the mirror

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Did you just dog HH?

        • Irish Sweetness

          Hattie Hillenmeyer. Hairstyle Hattie.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            HH took dumps in the locker room that were more talented than Shea McLellin. Don’t hate on him because he wasn’t Lach or Briggs. He was just as much a part of that linebacking corps’ success.

          • MB30SD

            Have to agree… about both parts.

            Doood, time to upgrade maings. PS4 and jetpacks. Come on now

          • Huge Bear’s Penis

            alright time to teach my 3 year old nephew to refer to taking a crap as taking a Shea.

          • Irish Sweetness

            HH had him some Shamus moments. The Philly game is burned into my soul.
            When he was in the middle it was terrible.

    • Scharfinator

      Does girth mean diameter or circumference in Jeff’s measurement?

      • MB30SD

        Yes

  • CanadaBear
    • Irish Sweetness

      Would we wait half a season for Jaylon? Well we waited a full year for Kevin.

      Surely nobody drafts an ILB in the top ten. Do we pull the trigger on Ragland?

      Need over BPA.

      • MB30SD

        Watch tape on him, he’s a special talent. Man amongst boys

        • Bender McLugh

          if the medical is decent to good I don’t see him falling to #11 even

          • MB30SD

            agree, he’s a beast of an athlete, and with a year of NFL “nutrition” and the 20 LBs of lean muscle that comes with it, he’s von miller in the middle. YEE!

  • Irish Sweetness

    Did anybody do Boobie Friday? damn time zones … I can’t wait, sorry.

    Vanilla:
    http://boobs-selfshots.tumblr.com/

    Chocolate:
    http://www.ranker.com/list/hottest-black-models/no-rupaulogies

    Note: No nubian sisters have been objectified for the purposes of white male gratification.

    • MB30SD

      GIMMETHEMMOTHERFUCKINBANANAS!!!

      …YYYEESSSS! well done lad. My god, second one down in vanilla (heavy panting)

      I’ve just realized 2 things :

      1. Boobies run me

      2. I’m not a fan of any boob smaller than a C no matter how… “cute”

      • Bender McLugh

        re: #2 – Olivia Wild. End of argument.

        • CanadaBear

          You and I just aren’t big enough chestnuts! I like boobs but mostly perky boobs. I have a friend that is so crazy for big boobs that he goes out with really fat girls just for the big boobs. Ugh!

          • MB30SD

            hahahahahaha… I’ve found I actually really like voluptuous girls most. No fat, no rolls, no cellulite, just real curves. a hot girl that’s built like kate U is best (well, like)

          • Bender McLugh

            NTTAWWT

      • Irish Sweetness

        Thai girls are like lollipop sticks with eyes.

        • MB30SD

          Don’t think I’d survive it m8

    • CanadaBear

      Bless you my son!

  • CanadaBear

    Here’s another take on Langford. Not sure I buy all the metrics as facts that he’s not good.

    https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2016/02/24/why-youre-way-too-high-on-jeremy-langford/

  • The GP, Chairman of the Bored

    Daaaaaaaaamn Kelly, BK is the Home of the Whopper and all… now we know where your prize money went

    • CanadaBear

      She’s using all her meal per diem. That black sack isn’t fooling anyone!

  • Pissed Off

    There was a local news story that came out earlier this week saying the Bears among about 4 other teams have contacted Carson Wentz’s old high school football coach. Didn’t get much pub but I know this because I currently live and grew up in Carson’s hometown. This proves there is some real interest. Because of the local connection I obviously hope he falls to the Bears and they take him.

  • CanadaBear

    New thread.

© Da' Bears Blog