203 Comments

NFC North Consensus: Packers first, Bears last

| August 27th, 2015

Jay+Cutler+Julius+Peppers+Chicago+Bears+v+hXoPjQJ_Bv3l

While Jeff is getting drunk and golfing in Ireland, I have been put in charge of doing NFC North Previews for DBB. To help get knowledge on some of the other teams, I called up a pair of colleagues and they had the same thought about the NFC North standings this year: The Packers will finish first and the Bears will finish last.

While my attempts to record podcasts with both failed, I spoke with Bob McGinn of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and Jeff Risdon of RealGM and ESPN 961 and they both were in agreement on how the division would shake out.

When asked if anyone could challenge the Packers, McGinn pointed out that the Lions were close to beating them last year and he could see that scenario happening again. He also pointed to the Vikings as being possible contenders, noting the poise of second-year quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, but did not mention the Bears.

Risdon’s reasoning behind the Packers was simple: As long as they have Aaron Rodgers behind center, they should be the favorites. Both Risdon and McGinn agreed that losing Jordy Nelson to an ACL injury was a big blow, but that the Packers had the talent to overcome it.

McGinn admitted that he hasn’t been able to study the rest of the teams in the NFC North yet, but said that he has some general knowledge of them. When talking about the Bears, he said that new defensive coordinator Vic Fangio could have a big impact, but was surprised when I mentioned them as possibly finishing 8-8.

Like McGinn, Risdon saw the Lions and Vikings as being key challengers to the Packers with both fighting for a playoff spot.

Risdon pointed to Detroit defensive coordinator Teryl Austin as being the key reason why their defense will still be tough, despite losing defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh in free agency. Risdon figures Austin will be a head coach within the next few years.

Risdon had far more concerns about the Vikings, noting issues on their offense, specifically at offensive tackle. He isn’t as high on Teddy Bridgewater as McGinn, saying he needs to see more before anointing him as a great player. He also wondered if Minnesota’s defense can take the next step.

As for the Bears, Risdon sees a transition year. He thinks Cutler will be better, but doesn’t think the team has enough help around him, most notably on defense. While he sees Fangio as having a positive impact, he doesn’t think they have enough talent to compete in the NFC North. He did say he likes the potential of safeties Adrian Amos and Brock Vereen.

Risdon thinks the Bears are headed in the right direction, but it’s going to take a while for them to get there.

What does all of this mean? Who the hell knows? Both McGinn and Risdon thought the Bears would be good last year. Hell, almost everybody did and we were all wrong.

Over the next week I’ll go over each team, telling you why they will and why they will not win the NFC North. Nobody really knows how the season will turn out, if they did, they’d make a ton of money, but, what the hell, let’s try to figure it out anyway.

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  • Waffle

    young writers trying to bolster their pageclicks. These guys simply can’t help themselves.

    http://grantland.com/the-triangle/career-arc-the-collateral-damage-of-smokin-jay-cutler/

    Directions:
    1. think about something to write about….come up with nothing that will impress your boss or get you paid.
    2. simply rehash Jay Cutlers career by reading Wikipedia and formatting it differently.
    3. ask the tech guys to find sullen pictures of Jay Cutler
    4. add picture to rehashing of wikipedia page and submit to editor desk.
    5. look inside yourself and realize that you aren’t making the difference you thought you were going to when you were studying journalism.
    6. ask yourself how many more pageclick pieces you need to write to pay off your student loans.

    • The GP

      Fuck I could use that meme generator web site right now…. on this pic

      https://espngrantland.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/trestman-marc-chicago-bears.jpg?w=1024&h=688

      • Waffle

        “Marc, ok, all set, please move away from the display now, some of the 4th grade tour group from Northshore Country Day are getting nervous.”

        • The GP

          Northshore Country Day…. lol

      • MB30SD

        all he needs is an oldtimey handlebar mustach and he is the villain from those old cartoons.

        Ev…. help a brother out?

        • Sactowns#1

          Yeah there is something very Snidley Whiplash about him.

          • MB30SD

            Sac!

  • The GP

    So there is so much rape or accused rape going on, I have rape confusion. I’m like Kevin Bacon in Animal House getting plowed over by all the criminality going on.

    Is Derrick Rose accused of being at this rape with Ray McDonald and Ahmad Brooks?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3212290/Ex-San-Francisco-49ers-player-Ray-McDonald-charged-rape.html

    Or did Derrick rape somebody else at some other rape time, rape channel?

    • Waffle

      The Derrick Rose one is pretty outlandish. It might start giving lawyers a bad name.

      • 505Bears

        I heard even Saul Goodman turned that case down.

    • MB30SD

      missed you.

      And yes, it’s getting very rapey out there

      • The GP

        Missed you too. Been practicing online using the book

        “Shady’s 12 step guide to stop being a n00b”

        I want to play that CoD with the bouncy suits.

        • MB30SD

          Ohhhhh well heeeerooooooooooo!

          Yes please! I have the same handle there as here. Please invite me!

          Who else is in… let’s get the team back together!

    • BearDown100393

      Sex is violent. – Jane’s Addiction

  • Irish Sweetness

    Somebody likes the potential of Brock Vereen? Mkay.

    We’re beating Vadge and Co. in week one and that’s all there is to that.

    • MB30SD

      IRISH!

      • Waffle

        quivering and glistening.

        • MB30SD

          glistening indeed!

  • MB30SD

    give them what they want I guess… http://www.mandatory.com/2015/08/20/viki-odintcova-is-a-sexy-supernova/14

    This is an example of a 12… out of 5.

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      dammit now i have to re-read Andrews article, got looking at pics and forgot what i read. THANK YOU!

      • MB30SD

        it was my pleasure, and my duty sir!

    • DaCoaches Mustache

      I give those titties 2 thumbs up.

      • beninnorcal

        I’d give them each a gentle thumb and index finger.

      • MB30SD

        COACH!!!

        Fucking married?! SMFH.

      • DocNitty Ellipsoids Ornamental

        Coach!

  • “While Jeff is getting drunk and golfing in Ireland, I have been put in charge of doing NFC North Previews for DBB.”

    I for one would rather be Jeff.

    • Trac

      Why is nobody writing about what the Bears will have to do to compete? I’m getting sick and tired of all the “sky is falling” crap and Tokyo Rose threads.

    • MB30SD

      hi jon

  • Trac

    This season’s hopes are gonna depend on Cutler. EVRA columnist has thrown our chances out the window this year and you know what one of the biggest reasons are? Cutler!

    I’d love to see Jay give em the finger by having his best season ever. Under Fox and Gase, it could happen.

    Why don’t you write about that, you goomba’s?

    • You’re FINALLY in da League! Damn. You can go to the mock lobby and practice with auction. Just keep in mind that we have an extra QB and that Bears will be pricier in our league.

      Speaking of QBs…it’s been said before.

      Cutty either has to

      1. Cut the turnovers down. If he keeps both the INTs and Fumbles under 10, I said we all would pitch in and buy a lifetime supply of Tradewind for Johhny. But now that MB is back, maybe he can send him a Bulgarian stripper.

      The chances of him keeping his TOs are slim and none though, so…

      2. Bombs away! Cutty’s just gotta sling it. Hopefully, we’ll be more run oriented, but goddamnit, no more constipated Cutty dumping it off on 3rd and long. Hes just gotta let it rip and hopefully follow the Luck blue-print of 3rd conversions and TDs to somewhat offset those TOs.

      • Waffle

        The Bears didn’t lose games just because of a couple of turnovers though. The turnover had to be followed by an epic drive by the other team resulting in points….almost every single time.
        The Luck blueprint involves the other team not scoring at will when the turnover happens.

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          that sounds like the bears should be doing something special to stop the other team from scoring. i believe its called defense. i could be wrong cuz i haven’t seen that in Chicago for a couple years and forgot what it looked like.

          • Waffle

            It was frustrating to watch the Bears lose 2 games where Cutty had a 95 and 96 QB rating.
            It happened the year before that too and even in 2012. That means the D was putrid.
            Now all 4 WR’s are hurt and the D is just starting to kind of rebuild but Ratliff is out the 1st 3 games…. This may be painful again but luckily we have our fall guy ala Chris Carter.

          • MB30SD

            this man has giant big penis

        • The Colt’s D wasn’t exactly formidable either.
          Heck, our first team O marched on them, even without WRs and OTs.

          They weren’t historically horrible either, but we’ll see.

          The thing with TOs is that they’re demoralizing, and tire out the D who was most likely just on field, so that it becomes a downward spiral.

          I’m more worried about our OTs. Cutler was already moving more than usual in the PS, and he wont’ survive a whole season of that.

        • BerwynBomber

          Actually the Luck blueprint (somewhat at times the Brees blueprint) is to put up gaudy production #s to offset the TOs. I’ve long thought trying to turn (or hope) Cutty into an inferior version of the super efficient Rodgers or Brady is a mistake. We would be better off hoping that he produces 35 TDs to forgive his inevitable TOs. To me that seems more realistic/natural as it applies to Cutty.

          That said, I think Gase/Fox are going the ground-and-pound route so Cutty will be asked to be somewhat a game manager. He can do it. But I don’t think it plays to his strength, which as Butch indicates is bombs away.

          • Waffle

            I hear you man but for instance, 8 of Luck’s TD were in 2 games against Jacksonville and Tennessee, 2 perennial doormats of the AFC SOUTH. In one of the Jacksonville games that year he fumbled FOUR times and they still won 23 -3. Imagine if Cutty fumbled 4 times. The bears would get a 50spot put up on them.
            I just think a lot more goes into football games that no one talks about.

      • Trac

        Indeed Butch. It looks like Yonny and I square off outta the gate. It might be the only victory either of us get. Hahaha.

  • Waffle
  • Johnnywad

    So Risdon thinks that Cutler will have a good year, and that Vic Fangio will have a big impact. Yet he shows obvious surprise at the mention of 8-8? Makes me.wonder where he thinks we’ll see the dividends of this progress if not by somehow managing to have a very mediocre season.

    • BerwynBomber

      Good point. Obviously he wasn’t connecting his own dots.

      • Waffle

        bomber, that Buffalo game was bad ass until that pick to that D lineman. He completed 70% of his passes for 350yds. it just so happened that Buffalo drove down the field with Joe Montan…..I mean EJ Manuel and scored like it was fucking nothing!

        • beninnorcal

          That game, to me, was a terrible omen for the rest of the season. Especially since I had to watch it on my phone at the K.C., MO airport after a friend’s wedding.

        • Trac

          That and the Panthers game killed us.

          • Waffle

            yes, when he had that brutal game with a 96 rating 78% completion percentage, 1 rushing TD and 2 passing TD’s and 2 INT’s. It’s revisionist how people remember what really happened. Our D made Olsen look like Olsen if he was playing against 7th graders. Holy Fuck. It’s frustrating even thinking about now.

    • TheBigCheesy

      He didn’t say he thought Cutler will have a good year, he said he thought Cutler will be better… than last year…..which was a disaster on the scale of the Hindenburg.

      • MB30SD

        Wow, so are you a bears fan yet?!

        I honestly can’t believe you still come to another team’s blog to waste your life. At least we have an excuse.

        • beninnorcal

          I ask him everytime why he’s here, no good answers.

          • MB30SD

            I’m fine with him being here, he’s actually super intelligent for a packers fan. Besides, he’s never even been to wiscaaaaaansin, homie lives in fucking santa cruz and went to my al ma mater in norcali. if memory serves, he was a bears fan back in the day and his young tender heart was crushed by one bad game and this caused all the hate… like some sort of twisted anti-batman figure.

            That said, he really badly wants to be a bears fan and as soon as rodgers dies or gets hurt and the packers go back to sucking, he’ll skip back over ben,

          • beninnorcal

            Hey, not sure if you saw my comment in yesturdays thread, but great to have you back, MB, wasn’t the same without ya.
            In other news, I’m going to be a dad in November. And ai’m extra screwed cuz it’s a little lady. Scary shit, but good times I’m sure.

          • Trac

            Congratulations Ben! Remember, it’s a fine line between making sure she’s a daddy’s girl & keeping momma happy. Tread carefully. Lol

          • MB30SD

            fuck that shit… love your daughter and make sure she’s a huge daddy’s girl… because daughters take care of their dads when they’re old and infirm.

          • Trac

            Hahahaha. That’s my boy!

          • beninnorcal

            Thanks track, I’ll take any advice I can get.

          • MB30SD

            I didn’t tell him the part about his wife hating him and that whole thing going to shit at some very real point in the future. shhhhhhhh….

            haha

          • beninnorcal

            Hahaha, I’m sure it’s starting, MB

          • Trac

            Blessed is the man that knows this yet can still love her.

            Truth is my man, they all detest us. Hahaha

          • MB30SD

            BEN! I did, and thank you my brother. Glad to be back, I missed you guys… the regs. I peaked in yesterday at Docs behest, and saw only core, regs posting again so I was compelled. Seems like the blog is back for the most part.

            Congrats!!! Let me tell you this my brother… I was 5th gen 2 boys on my dads side. I grew up in an uber alph male family. My dad played rugby until he was in his early 40s, my bro was captain of the UCLA rugby team for 3 years, and I played ball in college… I was HORRIFIED when our first born turned out to be a girl in the sonogram, “ummm, no way! There’s a penis in there somewhere. How long have you been doing this?!” were my exact words.

            Dude…. duuuude. My daughter is 6 now and she is the most amazing thing in my life (besides my little guy). I am SO stoked we had a girl. She has me soo wrapped around her little finger. Having a daughter is amazing, be excited. it’s incredible. Congrats again my man!

          • beninnorcal

            Thanks man, I’m from a fam of mostly dudes as well but we’re pretty fired up.

          • Scharfinator

            “like some sort of twisted anti-batman figure.” My favorite post of the thread so far.

      • Waffle

        you don’t think people are revising things a bit about his performance last year? You really don’t think it was also a function of that D and other factors? I mean look at the list of guys that were above 14 picks
        Cutler
        Rivers
        Bortles (obviously)
        Brees
        Dalton
        Luck
        Manning
        Ryan
        Look at Cutlers TD passes, comp %, etc. I’m not saying he had a great year but it feels like people are really revising some of the stuff that happened.

        • TheBigCheesy

          http://espn.go.com/nfl/qbr/_/stats/expanded

          17th in passer rating. 23/30 in Total QBR. Fumbled 12 times, losing 6. Welched on his radio show, presumably because he couldn’t face the music. Got benched (in favor of Jimmy Clausen). Went 5-10. Threw a pick-six off of Kyle Long’s helmet. devoured $18.5 million of the salary cap.

          None of that is revisionist history.

          • BearDown100393

            Dez caught the ball.

          • TheBigCheesy

            Soylent Green is people.

          • BearDown100393

            He was on Earth the whole time!

          • The GP

            Fuck Chucky Heston

          • TheBigCheesy

            We’re gonna need a bigger boat

          • The GP

            Cheesy – you start throwing down Roy Schieder lines and I WILL kick your ass.

          • MB30SD

            fight on the L!!

          • Waffle

            Luck fumbled 4 times in one game and they won 23-3
            Luck threw 8 TD’s in 2 games against Jax and Ten
            Wilson threw 4 INT’s in the NFC CHAMP GAME and WON!!!!!!
            Cutler got benched because Trestman was the worst coach in the history of the Bears.
            There is a lot of shit that goes down in games that everyone glosses over like they’re free agent bloggers desperate for content.

          • beninnorcal

            How is 17th in passer rating the Hindenberg? That’s better than half the league. Hate on Hay as much as you like but I don’t get the whole ‘worst qb ever’ argument when it comes to him.
            Too many turnovers but 28 TD’s and 3800 passing yards for a Bear QB? I’ll take that any year.

          • TheBigCheesy

            You’ll take Cutler’s 2014 season any year?

            What?

          • Waffle

            read his comment. “too many turnovers but 28Td’s and 3800 passing yards”
            do I have to go back to the cheesy summary at the bottom of every post again?

          • beninnorcal

            Minus the turnover’s, dumbass.

          • TheBigCheesy

            What does that even mean then? You’ll take 28TDs and 0 INTs? 3800 yards and no incompletions? You’ll take the 5 wins without the 10 losses?

          • beninnorcal

            Ok, Cheezy.

          • beninnorcal

            If the Bears lost a Championship the same way your Packers did last year you would never let us hear the end of it. So I’ll always make sure to remind you of that hillarious game.

          • TheBigCheesy

            How can you possibly hold that against the packers? Russell Wilson had #NanoBubbles!!!

          • beninnorcal

            It was entertaining was all. Wilson looked how you probably always think of Jay. Pack had that one in the bag.

          • Trac

            Hate to say it but the Cheese were robbed. Turrible officiating.

          • beninnorcal

            How many Bear QB’s threw for 3800 yards and 28 TD’s in a season? Probably a very short list.

          • TheBigCheesy

            How many dwarfs have grown to over 5 feet tall? Probably a very short list.

          • MB30SD

            try to stay on this side of troll yos

          • beninnorcal

            Too late, I apparently bring out Cheezy’s worst. He has turned to the dark side.

          • Maddbearfan

            Look at it on the bright side Cheese…he has this yr to get it right or he’s gonna be gone..then what’ll you do. Have to find someone else to beat up on then. It’s gonna be a fun year..win or lose!

          • TheBigCheesy

            I won’t even try. He’s irreplaceable. He will be deeply missed.

          • Waffle

            my neighbors 10yr old says the same stuff about Cutler and the Packers. It’s delightful. He doesn’t know what a draw is. He learns his schtick from his unemployed father who may or may not drink too much Natural Ice while not looking for work.

          • The GP
          • Waffle
          • MB30SD

            Natty Ice… the TradeWind of beers!

          • Waffle

            The Andre Champagne of Beers.

  • We’re going at LEAST 8-8, and the only reason we might struggle is our top5 hardest schedule to kick-off the season.

    I think our D will be alright.
    Amos looks better than Vereen (not hard to do). Plus, Mundy was servicable in a shit system last year, so he can come in too (he’s been inj).

    Rolle sucks, but at least he won’t leave by halftime.

    The rest of the D looks ok to me. If Fangio is the dude we think he is, he’ll coach them up.

    I predict we shoot up to a Top 20-15 D, and if the stars really align (McPhee becomes a stud, Allen converts successfully, Shea finally realizes his potential, etc) a Top 5 D.

    That’s right, heard it hear first.

    Midfield Mariani and gang seem competent-good, and Gould has looked vintage in PS thus far (O’donell still looks very inconsistent), so our specials should help to keep us in games.

    no way we’re winning less than 7.

    Once we beat the Pack opening day, Vadgers and his cohorts are gonna look like the Russians after the miracle on ice. Then, all of those talking heads on NFLN and ESPN will suddenly begin talking about

    Can the Bears win it all?

    Answer. Yes motherfuckas.

    As Moulder so famously refrains. I WANT TO BELIEVE.

    Bear down, bitches.

    • The GP

      Chicken Dinner already told his pa and ma to get airplane tickets to Hawaii in January.

      • MB30SD

        don’t get me started again. I saw it reported that he’s now a stud at IMLB (i know one of you were on that bandwagon)… Imma take a wait and see approach to all thaaaat.

        • Mike and I were bullish on him as ILB.
          I always thought he could at least be a starting caliber ILB as long as the Dline can keep him relatively clean.

          Not saying he’ll make the PB, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he becomes a productive starter.

          At this point, that’s all we can ask. We got too many holes everywhere thanks to Emery/Trest era.

          • The GP

            Hey Butch – in honor of MB’s return I want to change the name of my fantasy team from “Bass Kickers” to “Tits and Bass”

          • haha. There’s no shame in being crushed by Tits and Bass.

          • MB30SD

            bass fish or bass like ‘bAse’?

          • MB30SD

            meh

  • Waffle

    quick question…..
    From a purely financial perspective:
    If I have a 2 game parlay bet put down BUT the Bears are playing in Seattle and the 3 game parlay winnings will pay for my kids gradeschool tuition do I have your guys permission to make it happen?

    • Waffle

      You can’t go 12-4 without losing 4 games as EV points out….

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        so much for 16-0, i guess 15-1 will work. go for it.

    • Trac

      Think big Yonny. You need to throw some Yale tuition bucks down. For some reason, you don’t strike me as a “Harvard” guy. He he.

      • Waffle

        haha, my kids won’t be going to Harvard but they’ll have a brokerage account in their teens….believe that.

  • The GP

    Can we set down some moratorium on discussing what Jay Cutler should and should not do? Can we restrict Andrew from any posts about the QB or the QB situation?

    I hate fucking sounding like Waffle here, but the guy is dealing with receivers that make me miss Rashied “O.S. – Original Scrap” Davis. Did you see Cruz out there wearing number 4? He looks like Freddie Prince Jr. stole Jim Harbaugh’s old uniform and is running around the field until some security guys in yellow coats catch enough breath to run him down and tackle him like a streaker.

    Watching Hard Knocks and the bubble wideout guys praying to make the team are 3 standard deviations above ANYBODY we got starting right now. I hate giving Jay a pass, but fuck – if the Broncos had this core then Peyton would start saying his neck felt stiff and maybe he SHOULD retire now.

    Oh, and P fuckin S: Rashied is now with the San Jose Sabercats in the arena league and is still so scrappy he makes those little kids that avoided the Nazis at the beginning of Inglorious Basterds look like slackers.

    • Waffle

      haha….hey….I resemble that remark! Never apologize for sounding like Waffle.

    • BerwynBomber

      Most of the Cutty discussion below seems focused on last year. Cutty had plenty of weapons surrounding him.

      In terms of this year, we will have to wait and see who is healthy for the regular season. If Jeffrey, Royal and Wilson are ready to go we will largely a top 3 that will be good as Green Bay’s or I presume Minnesota’s.

      In other words, it is a bit too early to fire up the annual Cutty Excuse Train.

      • The GP

        It’s not a good idea to place too much stock in PS injuries, but Royal’s HIP, Jeffery’s quad and Wilson’s general fragility are not things you want to see.

        • Our receiving corp, inlcluding Bennett, seem inj prone. Soft tissue injuries, mostly.

          I wonder if that’s just us, or something else?

          Maybe shit like that just happens from time to time (Bill’s 5 HBs out), but we seem to get inj in bunches at the same position. That’s when team’s get in trouble

          • The GP

            All the strength and conditioning coaches – hell, all of Halas Hall just about save for the cleanup people, were tossed out.

            So off-season conditioning programs fall on players. That’s what stood out on Hard Knocks – the Texans worked programs with vets all off season.

            For the Bears – no continuity.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “Low -Hanging Fruit” ?

  • Waffle

    Ahmad Brooks sent home from the 49ers. I think it’s safe to say that my gambling strategy will involve this West Coast shit show.
    Brooks, McDonald, Borland, WIllis, Smith all gone from the D if not more. Gore gone from the O.
    That’s the team that could win 3 or 4 games.

    • BerwynBomber

      Tomsalu may not last the season. Kaepernick better have a huge season, or yeah, they could be a distaster.

      • Waffle

        the 49er offense will not have the benefit of a suffocating D which provides more momentum and field position. I’m going to make a killing off of this team.

        • Scharfinator

          The 49er’s will be suffocating ON the D this year…

          And good lord I do not mean Defense.

          • Waffle

            the 49ers will be suffocating girls at house parties after playing shitty D this year.

    • 505Bears

      Briggs will turn up in SF. Isn’t his BBQ biz in Cali somewhere? BBQ and play football in his spare time…haha

  • Hey, MB, since you’re back. Offer us your hypothetical FF names (since you’re too wuss to eva play).

    These guys are seriously lacking in Bears pun creativity.

    I went with Shea It Ain’t so, but was very close to N’Acho Libre.

    If Cruz wasn’t returning to basketweaving in Canada, I might ride with “Cruz-in 4 Cutty”

    Jared(Allen’s)6’Sub?

    • The GP

      MB’s FF team name would be “VaJayJay Twat”

      • Mariani-Sauce? McPhee-fi-fo-Dunn? All(an)BallsOut?

      • MB30SD

        GP, see my note below? Let’s get busy yo! Add me and let’s shoot ’em out.

        • The GP

          Ok what game do I need? Ghosts?

          • MB30SD

            jeeeeees!

          • Waffle

            I want to play but I don’t want to buy PS4 and I don’t want to buy Ghosts and I feel like my wife will kill me if I do either without paying off my car first. Plus I drank too much last weekend and I think she doesn’t like me right now

            So, yeah, i’m out…..not that you were asking…but if you were…i’m out.

          • MB30SD

            dude, get that shit done yo (cereal)

          • MB30SD

            come on man. pleeeease

          • Waffle

            haha, I was at dinner with my buddy and his wife. She said that guys who play video games are pathetic and pretty much huge losers.
            It was set up so perfectly because my buddy is a closet gamer and his wife doesn’t know about it. I could sense him squirming so I took a long pull on my whiskey, looked deep into her eyes and said:
            “fair enough, then you have sex on a consistent basis, liz, with the biggest fucking loser that I know”
            #moviescript

          • MB30SD

            BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

            I bet he LOOOOVED you. Hahahaha

          • MB30SD

            P.s., chicks suck

            Pps., of course her name is Liz.

          • Waffle

            haha, we had a good laugh about it. She reacted like she caught him with filthy german sex videos.

          • MB30SD

            tooootally. I could picture it in my head.

            Like she hit the Ashley Maddison search engine and found his email address listed.

          • The GP

            360 noscope!

          • MB30SD

            dude, the quickscope is the scourge of that game. Makes me so mad. 10 year old quickscopes my ass and it shows on the last kill and his cross-hairs are about 2 feet to the left of one of my knees. smfh

    • Waffle

      what’s my team name again?

    • MB30SD

      Ancho Cheese
      Amos’ Famous
      Kofi annen’s baby blue helmet
      Bell, Ball, and DeMontre
      James and the giant black unicorn
      Callahan’s maxipads
      Vladimir shaken not stirred
      Isn’t that just Fabuluje!
      Goldman’s (fat) slacks
      The grasu’s always greener
      Christian Jones’ Diary
      Leno’s massive glass chin
      Miller’s left (broken) foot
      Looks like you have a case of the Mundy’s
      Pat O’Donnell’s irish blackout
      Excuse me Senorise, i think you dropped something?
      I think someone Jaquizzed on my burger!
      The WRs look very Ify this year… umudo what i have to, to keep my chin up
      (my fav from last year) Brock out with your cock out

      and… walk softly but carry a bostic

      • Waffle

        lol, Kofi Annen’s baby blue helmet
        Millers left foot

        lol awesome

        • MB30SD

          I think my fav is, Isn’t that just Fabuluje!… because I scream it in a brutally flamboyant gay voice in my head when I read it. (NTTAWWT)

      • Trac

        Goldman sacks!!! Get it?

        • MB30SD

          I was going to but, A) too easy, and B) TBD.

          https://imgflip.com/i/q65ds

          • Trac

            Hahahaha. Isn’t that special.

          • MB30SD

            btw, when I was home I had so much biltong. Stuff wreaks havoc on my digestive system, but it’s so Fabuluje!

          • Trac

            I gorged on aero’s, Flakes and Turkish delights at my reunion this summer. Lots of biltong as well.

          • MB30SD

            Awesome.

            have you tried Tempo? It’s like a huge twix. Amazing… first time I had it. The chick I spent the night with introed me. Loved it.

            Oh, and mint aero’s are one of my favs.

          • Trac

            It’s always great to have tempo when you spend for a night with a chick.

          • MB30SD
      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        unfortunately with crappy/injured OTs and injured WRs my suggestion will be ‘4th and Long’

        • MB30SD

          ; (

          HBP, the grasus always greener my maings.

      • Trac

        So far, the Bos only has 1 stick on his video highlights.

        • MB30SD

          sad

  • Waffle
  • SC Dave

    Were I in Andrew’s place, I would mess with Jefe and point out how my article crushed it for blog traffic. Not mentioning, of course, the near simultaneous return of mb, canada, and even crown.

    What a week!

  • Waffle
    • The GP

      I trolled this German guy once at a bar, asking why all German porn was about pissing.

      • yessss….what was his response?

        • MB30SD

          yes.

          • Waffle

            lol

        • The GP

          Guy next to him was a damn Dean or bigwig at the U. Fucker wanted to know if I was at the school and who I was. I told him I was a visiting Spartan and was just here to see his wife.

          A2 is so fucking PC uptight

          • MB30SD
          • haha you should do a thesis on it:

            Zee Germans: Urination, defecation, fascination. A history.

            Then when someone at the U catches you on Schizer sites, you can say, “Hey. I’m doing research, dick.”

          • The GP

            Pete Townshend tried that. Didn’t go too well for him.

          • MB30SD

            fuck pete townshend.

  • Waffle
  • MB30SD

    A85… so? Like any of my FF names?

    • Top 3 (drum roll…)

      Goldman (fat) S(l)acks
      Looks like you have a case of the Mundys (hmmm, yess)
      Kofi annen’s baby blue helmet

      You could’ve went sooooo many ways with Jaquizz

      Like,

      IJaquizzedOnUrFace

      Or,

      RolleDaBlunt

      I almost went with Ass, Grass or Grassu, no one rides for free (but too long)

      But, your names are still superior in quality to most on da league. Gotta kick it up a notch

      • MB30SD

        there’ll be a jaquizz at the end
        jaquizzical look
        jaquizz of all trades

        • I was trying to think of something with “Straight Outta (compton)”, but, No dice.

          Jared (Allen’s) 6″Sub is perhaps too fresh (see what I did there?)

          • MB30SD

            yeah, I was going to suggest something like, Jared’s USB stick or Jared’s flash drive, but yeah… guy’s a fucking scumbag

  • The GP

    Chocolate Thunder dead

    • MB30SD

      download > login > look me up > get lit up

    • AlbertInTucson

      No cause given that I could find.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Just heard a report it was a heart attack.

        • The GP

          My earliest memories of watching tv sports were that Mo Cheeks, Doc J and Dawkins 76er team playing the Celtics in a series.

    • Waffle

      Looks like Rodgers is not even playing their 3rd preseason game. With all 4 WR’s out I would have no problem with Cutler not playing a snap of this game.

  • Trac

    Why did Ryan Mallet miss practice?

    A) He slept in?
    B) He had a family emergency?
    C) His vagina hurt after losing the starting QB spot to a loser?
    D) Both A & C?

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/08/27/ryan-mallett-missed-practice-because-he-overslept/

    • Waffle

      Ooh, not smart

      • Trac

        Trust me, Mallet has never been accused of being smart.

  • The GP

    http://sports.cbsimg.net/images/blogs/ticket-city.jpg

    Most in demand games this season by ticket price

    • Trac

      Looks like the Steelers, Packers and Cowboys are getting the most action on that board.

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