125 Comments

Money Where My Mouth Is: Three Picks For Week 14

| December 10th, 2015

money

Let’s face it. Last week should have been an 0-3 week but Jim Caldwell conspired to get me on the board. Need a winning week to return that warm and fuzzy feeling to the old wallet. Let’s go.

PITTSBURGH & CINCINNATI OVER 49.5 PTS

Pittsburgh has the most exciting passing in the NFL and – arguably – one of the five worst secondaries. Maybe these teams will shock me and revert to the division’s previous form but I see both teams scoring and scoring at will. Steelers 31, Bengals 30

NEW ENGLAND -3 AT HOUSTON

The Patriots lost two weeks ago, right? They lost last week too, right? When’s the last time they lost three games in a row? I won’t do the research and will just assume Pete Carroll was the coach. Buffalo put together a game plan to neutralize J.J. Watt and exposed the backend of the Texans defense. Expect Tom Brady to put the Pats back into the win column, even if he might be the team’s best receiver. Patriots 27, Texans 14

NEW YORK GIANTS -1.5 AT MIAMI

The Giants stink. They also are going to win the Super Bowl. But in order to do that they must make the postseason. They’ll take the pole position in the NFC East after this week’s done. Giants 20, Dolphins 17

Season Record: 20-17-2

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  • The Yes Guy

    Yes!

    • BillW

      We’ve missed you

  • Trac

    I don’t get the reasoning behind your Pats and Giants picks. 2 losses last week translates into 2 wins this week? Okay.

    • BillW

      I always cringe just a little when people say things like “when was the last time they lost three in a row”. They can’t lose three in a row Sunday. They can lose one (more ) in a row though.

      It’s like saying “what’s the odds of getting 3 heads in a row? Well, it depends if you are just now starting to flip or you already flipped twice and got two heads.

  • The GP

    Texans O is so so bad. That’s why I play the Pats D this week.

  • LuckmanFan IBEWproud

    I’ve been a fan since the days of Halas, when the Bears where real men not the pussies they send out there theese days. Butkus, Sayers, Douglas, real men. Guys you could be proud of. I mean, yeah , they didn’t always make the playoffs but at least you left the game after a tough loss and said to yourself, self, the guys really played hard and made those turkeys earn every yard.
    Football has turned into such a cowards game, they barely wore helmets back in our day. I mean can we just pound the rock behind our line and let Forte pile up those yards? Yeah they may see it coming but that didn’t stop Sayers and old Walter. We’ve got some young guy running the show right now and he might be the worst we’ve ever had, Andrew gaise? what kind of name is that? Probly a damn jew. Old Halas never would have stood for this. I long for those days when the Bears went to the playoffs every year, knew how to draft, drafted reel men, not these creampufffs. And don’t even get me started on Jay Cutter. He’s no Luckman i’ll tell you that. I should know, my dad was best friends with him.

    • CanadaBear

      Well, isn’t that special?

      • BillW

        We have guys coming out of the woodwork talking like this.

        It’s Da Ghost of DaBearsBlog Past, showing me how annoying or worse I came across when people here first got to “know” me.

        • The GP

          don’t worry Bill, you’re still annoying.

          • BillW

            Whew!

        • Huge Bear’s Penis

          i am thinking Bill told all his friends at the bridge game at the VFW about the site.

    • BillW

      Butkus, Sayers, Douglas…I mean, yeah , they didn’t always make the playoffs

      Uh – didn’t always? If by not always you mean “never” then yeah.

    • BillW

      Probly a damn jew

      Fuck you asshole

      • The GP

        WHOA BIll!

        Netty Baba is meeting with Trump, and you turn into an Indiana Jones villain?

        From Eeyore to Nazi in 3 easy steps. Chill.

        • BillW

          “probly a damn jew” was a quote from the poster. Not me calling him that.

          My saying f-you was me. for him using an inflamatory religious/naionality comment

          • The GP

            Oh. My bad. It was him who said that.

            In that case: fuck you Luckman

            Fun fact: I once saw Sid Luckman on the street (Michigan Ave) coming from a Mag Mile hair salon. He got his wig teased or frosted or something. It looked like roadkill with some construction zone paint was on his head. He was old as Methuselah.

      • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

        Bill, so you don’t stress about it the whole day….it was probly a joke…….

        • BillW

          Yeah – I was taken, no doubt.

          • BillW

            Well done – probly

    • Scharfinator

      Hahahah this can’t be real, can it? Hahahhahaa, great stuff!

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        my thoughts exactly.. didn’t Doc bring up the point whats with the guys who come here and bitch and then whip out their old-man credentials?

        • BillW

          Yeah, probably pulling our chain. The “prolly a damn jew” was out of line in my opinion but that’s me.

          Hmm – whip out old man credentials. Is that a senior citizen term for “diamond cutter?

    • Sactowns#1

      I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I ran and got my washtub. Anyway, about my washtub. I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking bird. We’d always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called baseball

      • Scharfinator

        Holy shit the blog is funny today. I wish I could upvote this more than once.

        • BillW

          Grampa is getting very confused. I think I need a nap.

    • Sactowns#1

      We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ’em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say.

      Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…

      • The GP

        Grandma In Nursing Home Starts Adorable Little Sexual Relationship

        PHOENIX—Saying it was nice to know their grandmother had found a companion to spend time with, the family of Desert Spring Assisted Living Home resident Barbara McGann reported Wednesday that the 78-year-old had begun an adorable little sexual relationship with another of the facility’s residents. “It’s so cute the way she and Harold get lunch together every day—I’m glad Nana’s made a friend,” said McGann’s daughter Jane Siebers, referring to the man who has been repeatedly fulfilling her elderly mother’s sexual needs for the past several months. “When she first got there, you could tell she was definitely lonely. But now, she’s always talking about all the fun she and Harold are having at the holiday party, the movie showings, and the other social events they put on there. It’s great she’s found someone to provide her with frequent sexual pleasure and consistently bring her to climax.” Siebers added that during her most recent visit, her mother appeared the most alert and energetic she’d seen her since her late husband was around to fuck her on the regular.

        • 505Bears

          No wonder STDs are so rampant in those places. How Grandma Got Her Groove Back…HAHA

        • CanadaBear

          Like Alan Arkin says in Little Miss Sunshine, “I was getting so much action I had 3rd degree burns on my Johnson.” Life in the retirement community for single men who can still sport a diamond cutter.

          • The GP

            diamond cutter. ha!

            I propose that be Cutty’s new nickname. Diamond Cutty.

          • CanadaBear

            I stole that from the book The Choirboys by Joseph Wambaugh. The movie was awful but the book is hilarious.

          • BillW

            One of the few books I read cover to cover in a day. Could not put it down – the somewhat non-linear style of the book was innovative and kept me reading and reading.

            Never saw the movie – could not see how that could be translated.

            Of course years later Tarratino did it brilliantly in Pulp Fiction

          • CanadaBear

            I was looking forward to the movie and it was a dud. Really disappointed.

  • MB30SD

    my goodness, the trollery is so strong these days. getting… tiresome. must… try… to.. resist.

    uhhhhggg, getting brutal again.

    • the ghost of suhey

      haha, you cannot resist the ghosts of bears gone by. Black coaches????? Black. Coaches????

      • BillW

        Crown?

        Trying to get the “black coaches” reference.

  • willbest

    Bears can be eliminated from the playoffs this week if the Seahawks, Packers, and Vikings all win and the Bears lose.

    However, the Bears are realistically eliminated from the playoffs tonight if the Vikings win as it would require Seattle to lose 3 of their last 4, or the packers to lose out.

    If you believe in the power of football prayer. The Cardinals have Bucs, Falcons, Bears, and non-Dallas NFCE fans on their side. The Vikings have Panther and probably have packers and seahawks fans (packers chasing the 2 seed, and seahawks chasing the division).

  • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

    haha, blog rule. If the guys posting sound like drunk city workers from 1971 it’s a joke. If they don’t have a Disqus account it’s a joke. If they have a Disqus account and still post crazy shit then they are in fact “lifelong bears fans”.

    • Trac

      Gee thanks a lot Yonny. I resemble that remark. Hahaha

    • MB30SD

      I want to add a couple more, but won’t. sigh. might have to exit stage right again soon maings.

      When are you getting your secret stash up and running (PS4, not vasectomy)

      • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

        haha, that was me MB, you’re not allowed to quit the blog until I have PS4. I have, in a clandestine fashion, separated half of the required funds without being discovered. I have a check from a side deal coming in and she knows nothing about it. That will be the final installment and we’ll be operational by chreestmas.
        Special Note: If anyone from the NSA is reading this I’m talking about playing video games with my internet friends instead of having biblical relations with my wife and not…you know…engaging in jeehodd.

        • MB30SD

          hahahahaha…. eeeexcellent. you have my word.

          Oh, Imma rain down an UNholy jeehaad on your fucking ass… imma get alllllll fucking biblical and fuck you up TWO time dooood! jetpacks.

  • BillW

    To Irish – due to the time differences I often miss your posts. I think from now on I’m simply going to search for “Irish” on the old article before reading the new.

  • Trac

    Speaking of Irish, I just watched this totally crap documentary of alien buildings on the moon. Oh…my…lord! I thought you gave up the bottle Irish? Total bull pucky.

  • Sactowns#1

    Your love of the Giants has no bounds Jeff.

  • CanadaBear

    Just looked up the Bears playoffs record. Starting in 1950 (when they were in the Conference Championshp game, a loss) through 1983 they were in the playoffs 5 times. Not sure that qualifies for being in the playoffs all the time.

  • CanadaBear

    In fairness to a few of us old timers, I can’t remember Dave, Al or Bill saying any BS about back in the day how wonderful everything was. We might all live in the past if the past was full of winning. As you all know, sadly that’s not the case. The only consistent winning the Beloved did (since the mid 40’s) was under Ditka and Lovie. Let’s face it, they didn’t win nearly enough under Ditka and Lovie to strut around like a peacock.

    • The GP

      There is a reason that Fortune magazine voted the Bears the most mismanaged sports organization in history. This is an organization that should have as many titles as the Giants, or at least one dynasty run like the Niners, Cowboys, Steelers or even the 4 SB losses of the Vikings under Tark.

      We got none of that.

      Because McCaskey.

      • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

        #McCaskey’d

        The sub par end result of the seemingly unthinkable mismanagement an advantageous position or opportunity over any particular time frame

        • The GP

          See: Gift Horse, Mouth. Silver Spoon.

          • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

            Never let your idiot son mike look a gift horse in the mouth whilst they both have silver spoons jammed in their asses

          • The GP

            One time on the Mike Ditka Show, Johnny Morris asked Ditka if he was going to get Mike McCaskey a Christmas present.

            Ditka said “I think he has all the cardigan sweaters he needs”

            Once upon time, Ditka could take the piss out

      • Trac

        Sadly, this is not a myth. I wish it was.

    • I dunno if anybody listens to the Waddle and Silvy Show, but they do a holiday parody contest every year, where you do a Chicago sports-themed parody of a Christmas song.

      I started an entry, but never finished it. Set to “White Christmas.” Echoes your sentiments here nicely.

      I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl
      Just like the one in 85
      Because time is dragging
      and I’m done bragging
      about a team from before I was alive

      I had a couple different starts for the 2nd half of it, but none I liked.

      • CanadaBear

        Pretty sure Al could fill that out for ya. He has “The Gift”.

        • AlbertInTucson

          I really like what I see so far. Of Course I WAS alive for ’85.

          • you want to do a 2nd half? To the rhythm of

            I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
            With every Christmas card I write
            May your days be merry and bright
            And may all your Christmases be white

          • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

            I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl
            Just like the one in 85
            Because time is dragging
            and I’m done bragging
            about a team from before I was alive

            I’m dreaming of a post season
            With every fly route run by White
            May our sundays be blurry but bright
            And may all Foxy’s choices be right.

            I’m dreaming of our boys winning
            as we march up and down the field
            May Rob – bie keep hitting chip shots
            And may Langford stop with the drops.

          • The GP

            May Rob – bie keep hitting chip shots

            Maybe change that up to:

            May Rob – bie start hitting chip shots

          • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

            May Rob-bie stop missing chip shots.
            That’s why I never made it in the music biz.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Take THAT, Lennon and McCartney!

          • I ended up writing a 2nd half myself. Called in and submitted it, we’ll see if they play it this afternoon.

            I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl
            Came so close in 2006
            Fox and Pace have them on the uptick
            Hopefully they can finish the trick

          • AlbertInTucson

            There goes my credit.

          • don’t think I got it in on time. Bummer

      • AlbertInTucson

        I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl..
        .
        Just like the one in ’85..

        “Cause the time’s a draggin’…

        and I’m tired of braggin’…

        ‘Bout guys before I was alive.’

        I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl…

        With every game I watch and see

        May the Bears win all the next three

        And make the blog completely troll free.

        • TBC

          You mean, like, 100% troll free?

          Keep. Dreaming.

          • Cutty of Olivet Nazarene

            May Chee-sey watch another onedone
            And may all the beloved make fun.

    • Trac

      The 85 Bears makes me think about what it would have been like to have a one night stand with Kelly Le Brock in HS. A once in a lifetime event that could never happen again. Was there a hotter chick than her back in the 80’s? Maybe Christie Brinkley. Maybe.

      • CanadaBear

        There are/were so many beautiful women I hate to say anyone is the hottest. Although the two you mentioned are/were smokin’ hot.

    • AlbertInTucson

      The Abe Gibron Years were a lot of things.

      “Wonderful” was definitely NOT one of them.

  • BillW

    Totally unrelated to diamond cutters or da bears, I read two quotes I’m surprised I never heard in my relatively long life. They came from the context of teacher situation in Chicago and Illinois, but obviously many other applications of them:

    The graveyards are full of indispensable people.

    If something can’t go on forever, it will eventually stop.

    No context in repeating them here – I just thought they were profound in their simplicity.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “Government is FULL of dispensable people.”

      • Sactowns#1

        Yeah… they are called military contractors.

        • beninnorcal

          Wrong, Sac, those guys aren’t nearly as useless as the folks that make up government agencies like the EPA, IRS, and DOJ.

          • SC Dave

            To say nothing of the NEA!

          • Sactowns#1

            Yes, paying trillions for a fighter jet that is useless only to make millionaires into billionaires is totally worth it.

          • Trac

            And serving kobe steak at 400 bucks an oz. at the white house 7 days a week ain’t bringing down the deficit either. Let’s party like it’s 1999! Woohoo!

          • MB30SD

            damns, how do I get a gig in that joint?

          • Trac

            I was thinking the same thing. I’d like to be his caterer. He he.

          • Trac

            Sac, be honest, what exactly do you do at the party headquarters? Hee hee.

          • Sactowns#1

            I’m really not all that left. I just think its kind of common sense. Should we help pay for roads, education, better pay and care for the troops or just keep lining the pockets of the military grifters? Sure there is govt waste but a lot of that isn’t the workers but rather the greedy contractors. Just look at our military vs the military contractors we hire.

          • Trac

            I know and really I get where you’re coming from on a lot of issues. The truth is that most politicians act like kings and elitists and the truth is, almost all of them have their heads up their asses. That’s why govt can’t be fixed. It can ONLY get worse until it implodes. As long as the pitchforks stay in the barn, they are safe. It’s all about them.

          • MB30SD

            I’m the same. I knew I liked you for a reason.

            It’s all about perpetuation of the power and money structures, has zero to do with helping the peoples. cunts.

        • SC Dave

          They are not part of the government. Blame the people IN the government that let them get away with what they do.

    • willbest

      Yes not understanding #2 gets people into lots of trouble.

  • ok, what do you guys think of this? I might actually call this one in, think the contest closes today.

    I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl
    Just like the one in 85
    Because time is dragging
    and I’m done bragging
    about a team from before I was alive

    I’m dreaming of a Bears Super Bowl
    Came so close in 2006
    Fox and Pace have them on an uptick
    Here’s to hoping they finish the trick

  • Sactowns#1

    Ok so lets play fantasy island. Von Miller, Tamba Hali, Bruce Irvin and Rolando Mclain are all free agents after this year. On the DE side theres Justin Tuck, Jason Pier Paul, Nick Farely and Brandon Mebane. So the question is, would you rather have 2 new stud LB’s, 2 new stud D linemen or one of each? Follow up question, what one defensive player do you think we are most likely to get?

    • You have to consider who’s actually going to hit FA. Von Miller isn’t going anywhere.

      I think Bruce Irvin is a perfect match to play opposite McPhee. You need a jack of all trades who can do a bit of everything in that spot, and Irvin offers that. But he’s going to Atlanta with Dan Quinn.

      Jason Pierre-Paul is a 4-3 DE. He’s not a 3-4 guy. Justin Tuck is old.

      My offseason approach would be to try and land a good OLB and DE in FA (ideally Irvin and Wilkerson), then get a good ILB in round 1 (Reggie Ragland?) and a S in round 2 (Jeremy Cash?). That would be a great defensive quartet to add. 4 playmakers.

      But that could change based on who hits FA and how the draft falls. I’m very intrigued by Oregon DE DeForest Buckner, think he’d be fantastic under Fangio (remember Justin Smith?).

      But in general I just say they need to add difference makers on defense this offseason. Playmakers. They have guys in who can not suck, now find guys to build your D around who can be studs. McPhee is one. Goldman might be another.

      Don’t care about position all that much, just find playmakers.

      • Sactowns#1

        Anyone want to gamble on whether or not Chicken Dinner comes back?

        • MB30SD

          I’d bet it just to be able to write it. useless sack

          (I’m KIIIIIDDDIIIING dave… kind of)

          • SC Dave

            Ha ha… Shea has had his chance, which is all I wanted to see. Whether he has shown enough will become clear in the offseason.

            Edit: well, i was hoping to see more, but c’est la vie. Oh and taking out Vadgers was a useful sack.

          • MB30SD

            something about a squirrel and a nut.

            if he wants to take vet min and be a back up to our new badass, I’m all in.

      • Trac

        No nick fairley? That cat just flat out balls year in and year out. I would have loved to have snagged him after his stint in Detroit. Maybe sign him to a two year incentive laden deal.

        • I’m torn on Failey. He’s very inconsistent, has motivation issues supposedly. But he can be damn good when he’s locked in.

          He’s also never played in a 3-4 though. Given that the Bears have enough 4-3 guys they’re trying to switch over, I think any FA signings this offseason will be textbook 3-4 guys.

  • Cutler’s brother in law found dead. No surprise, but damn that sucks.

    • willbest

      Closure helps. Still going to be rough at home.

    • AlbertInTucson

      We KNEW that was going to end badly.

    • BearDown100393

      Uncomfortable question. Who starts?

  • The GP
  • willbest

    Bears are currently drafting 15th. NFL.com guys seem to think we need pass rusher, QB, CB, LT, and WR… So I guess whoever is writing for the NFL.com hasn’t seen a bears game this year.

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000572264/article/2016-nfl-draft-order-and-needs-nos-1120

    • MB30SD

      BINGO!

  • Trac

    Ok, I have a question for you banking guru’s. Banks can charge their customers any interest rate they want to, even if the federal Reserve sets the prime interest rate at 1%. How does the prime interest rate effect the banks when it comes to lending money? Don’t they still maintain the same margins regardless?

    The reason I’m asking this question is because the bank I’ve done business with for over 10 years is trying to do away with their tellers at their branches by replacing them with kiosks. Their excuse to me was that because the interest rates have been so low for so long, they can’t make a profit and they’re having to find ways to cut costs. It’s sounds like bullshit to me.

    This is one of the largest Banks in the country.

    • willbest

      Banks can charge whatever interest rate they want in the same way McDonalds can charge you whatever it wants for a big mac meal. Sure they could price it at $10, but you would probably go someplace else. Same thing with a bank. With internet banking there are literally thousands of places to borrow money from or bank with.

      A bank replacing its tellers is no different than McDonald’s replacing its cashiers

      http://www.businessinsider.com/what-self-serve-kiosks-at-mcdonalds-mean-for-cashiers-2015-8

      If they can cut costs they can then either make their shareholders more money, or they can lower interest rates, which is good for the consumer, and gain market share which is good for the shareholder.

      • Trac

        I showed up to make a deposit last month and some stuffy broad told me to take a seat in the lobby until an account specialist came to see me to get my deposit. They were prepping me for their kiosk schpeel. Then I was told that until they had their super teller kiosks installed, I’d have to wait in the lobby while the rep took my deposit into the office to process my transaction so I told them to go pound sand.

    • AlbertInTucson

      “It sounds like bullshit to me.”

      If it looks like bullshit, smells like bullshit or is anything a bank told you about money, it’s probably bullshit.

  • SC Dave

    We,um, DO want the Cardsto.win, right?

    • willbest

      Practically speaking the Bears need to
      1) win out
      2) Have Cardinals and Packers beat the Vikings
      3) Packers, Tampa, and Skins finish with a better combined win-loss record than Lions, Giants (assuming the Vikings beat them), Falcons
      4) Have Atlanta lose at least 1 more conference game

      • SC Dave

        Um.. go Cardinals!? :~)

  • AlbertInTucson

    Per the Trib: Kevin White wiil not be activated this season.

    • willbest

      Meh. We have a healthy core of receivers might as well let him rest … oh wait no we don’t.

      • AlbertInTucson

        The Bears have a corpse of receivers.

        • BearDown100393

          Where receivers go to die…. since 2008

      • MB30SD

        meh indeed… who cares right?

        It’s all about next year anyway, unless miracles happen. But then what?

        Next year.

    • Trac

      Yeah al, not surprised at all. I’m very concerned he won’t fully recover from this injury, ever.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Probably the prudent thing to do at this point at 5-7.

        At 7-5, maybe they risk it but if he did come back andplay this season and re-injured the leg, the “We TOLD -you -so” backlash would been horrific.

  • MB30SD

    vikings : (

    • willbest

      Good for the bears at any rate.

      • MB30SD

        meh, just fuck the vikings.

        • willbest

          Bad news is they now get 10 days to prepare for us in Minny.

  • Irish Sweetness

    (38-21)

    Conor McGregor to beat Jose Aldo. 4/5.

    DET to beat STL.

    TB to beat NO.

    PIT +3 to beat CIN.

    3.6 to 1 treble. 7.25 -1 accumulator.

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