391 Comments

Fifty Prognostications, Pontifications & Ponderings on the 2015 NFL Season

| September 7th, 2015

Last year’s column caused a FIRESTORM when readers had the nerve to question the veracity of my claiming a more than 50% success rate on the 2013 version. What did I do? I answered with a stunning 51.38% success rate in 2014. This success was not lost on the American public but I did not know how far my column reached.

Obama Letterhead

 

So without further adieu, fifty prognostications, pontifications and ponderings on the 2015 season with a nod to every single team in the league.

#1 Nobody’s opinion of Jay Cutler will be different on January 4th 2016 than it is right now.

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#2 Andrew Luck will win the MVP award if his offensive line figures out a way to block people.

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#3 Buffalo Bills and New York Jets fans will spend the entire season reciting the following haiku:

Our steely defense

Dominating opponents

Alright, back out there

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#4 Non-First Round offensive rookie of the year: Tyler Lockett, WR/KR, Seattle Seahawks

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#5 Non-First Round defensive rookie of the year: Randy Gregory, OLB, Dallas Cowboys

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#6 Martellus Bennett’s career high touchdown mark is 6 (last year). He’ll top that this season with 8. And then he’ll somehow make the argument that his 8 touchdowns make him worthy of the league’s most lucrative contract.

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#7 The Cleveland Browns will continue to depress me.

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#8 Every NFL writer in the world can write love poems to the Packers organization but if they don’t miss Jordy Nelson, I’d be shocked. Jordy Nelson isn’t a body. He isn’t a “good receiver”. He is one of the best receivers in the league and the personal favorite of Aaron Rodgers. Packers will miss him.

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#9 Oakland Raiders go from 3-13 to 7-9.

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#10 Cincinnati Bengals will go from 10-5-1 to 7-9 (and still won’t fire Marvin Lewis).

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#11 Oldie but goodie from The Onion:

NEW YORK—Noting the league’s increasing popularity among fans in Britain and across Europe, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell revealed Tuesday that the Jacksonville Jaguars will play 16 regular season games in London next season. “Fans in the United Kingdom have shown an incredible passion and enthusiasm for our sport, so I’m thrilled to announce 16 exciting matchups featuring the Jacksonville Jaguars at Wembley Stadium next year,” Goodell told reporters, adding that the Jaguars will be listed as the home team for eight of their London games and as the away team for the remaining eight. “This is a great opportunity to further grow the NFL internationally and give thousands of British fans the chance to see the Jaguars play in person. And to prevent any logistical issues, the team will stay in England during those weeks with their own practice field, training facility, and front office based in London.” Goodell also confirmed that the Jaguars would also wear special limited-edition uniforms for their London games, featuring a new color scheme and team logo

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#12 When Chris Borland retired, I don’t think it was met with the attention he expected. So it’s completely unsurprising to me that he’s now giving interviews to ESPN questioning NFL drug testing and outing Cris Carter. You see, Borland envisions himself as a pioneer, a trailblazer. But he realized soon after his decision to retire made headlines that he was now faced with what all former athletes are faced with: anonymity. He hasn’t had that since he started playing the sport.

Niners 5-11.

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#13 Jay Cutler will throw for 3,368 yards.

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#14 Jay Cutler will throw 28 touchdown passes.

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#15 Jay Cutler will throw 13 interceptions.

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#16 I killed Robert Griffin III as a self-obsessed camera whore before most others. His having the gaul to call himself the best quarterback in the league…now…after what he’s accomplished…which is nothing…reeks of the kind of narcissism that courses through his veins and kills his locker rooms. I don’t think he’s Washington’s starting quarterback in November.

Side note: Wrote this before leaving for Ireland. Not changing it.

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#17 Here is Ryan Mallett’s reaction to Brian Hoyer being named the starting quarterback in Houston: “I don’t agree with it.” Neither do I, Ryan. I’m now calling the Texans a 6-10 team because of it.

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#18 Offensive Player of the Year: Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots. Yes, I think even if he is hit with a four-game suspension he will deliver the 12 best games ever played by an NFL quarterback in response.

Ireland.

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#19 Defensive Player of the Year: Aaron Donald, DT, St. Louis Rams. 

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#20 With the Panthers roster of receivers being the worst in the sport by a wide margin, Greg Olsen will top every single number from his career year of 2014:

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 11.35.47 AM

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#21 Devin Hester will have one game early in the season for the Falcons where he resembles a professional receiver, causing Bears fans to act INCENSED, and then catch like four passes the rest of the season. Because that’s what he does.

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#22 Bucs. No good.

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#23 Seahawks. Good.

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#24 I’m not convinced Gary Kubiak and Peyton Manning makes sense. And I’m not convinced the Broncos have the athleticism along their offensive line to run Kubiak’s system. So because of that I’m going to predict the Broncos do not win the AFC West.

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#25 I don’t have anything to say about the Miami Dolphins.

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#26 Kyle Fuller will be just fine.

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#27 Tim Jennings will not. (This message will also lead to my receiving the several angry emails I always receive when I write anything negative about Jennings. I assume all of these emails come from his family.)

Ireland

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#28 On January 4th 2016 Bears fans will consider Eddie Goldman a cornerstone player for the next half decade.

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#29 You know who you haven’t heard much about these days? Kansas City. Decent team a year ago. Good players. Smart additions this off-season. Good regular season coach (on the whole, not in-game). Chiefs win the AFC West.

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#30 I love the Bears fight song. But it will never hold a candle to the Chargers.

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#31 New York Giants better score a lot of points because they’ll be among the 7 worst scoring defenses in the league.

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#32 Most shocking prognostication made in this column. Sam Bradford will start all sixteen games for the Philadelphia Eagles.

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#33 The winner of the primetime game on November 8th between the Eagles and Dallas Cowboys will win the NFC East.

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#34 Marcus Mariota may turn out to be a terrific NFL quarterback. But Harry Douglas and Anthony Fasano being starters ain’t going to make that easy in year one. Look at the Titans offensive talent.

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 12.51.37 PM

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#35 Marc Mariani will score multiple return touchdowns this season.

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#36 Pernell McPhee will sack Aaron Rodgers twice in the opener.

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#37 Robbie Gould will miss four field goals.

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#38 Steve Smith is retiring as a Baltimore Raven. Smith has been my favorite player in the NFL for more than a decade. He’s the Sugar Ray Robinson of the NFL – pound-for-pound he might be the best to ever play his position.

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#39 Bill Simmons is fond of saying the most underrated injuries an NFL team suffers is an injury to its center. Maurkice Pouncey is one of the best centers in the league, on a rather shaky Steelers offensive line. If he gets back to the field during the final third, he’ll be joining a team with a .500 record or worse.

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#40 It is the 10th anniversary of Katrina. Saints win NFC South. Why? Because it will lead to 10,000 “human interest” pieces on the carrying networks in the postseason.

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#41 Look out for J.J. Nelson on Arizona. Cardinals may have found a solid deep threat for Carson Palmer in the fifth round.

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#42 Jared Allen will produce a ten-sack season.

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#43 Jared Allen will top his 2-interception season from 2010.

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#44 Marco Rubio is not going to be president. Nor is he good at not hurting the faces of children with footballs.

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#45 [Place Your Own NFL Comment Here]

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#46 Lions. 9-7.

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#47 Vikings. 9-7.

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#48 Bears fans will love the center of the team’s offensive line, as Slauson-Montgomery-Long will average throwing 4.5 punches at defensive linemen per game.

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#49 Shea McClellin will sign a three-year contract with the Bears in January and remain the team’s middle linebacker.

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#50 Bears will open as significant underdogs each of the first three weeks. If they go 0-3, do you see them going 8-5 over the final 13? I feel like this is a 7-9 team.

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  • BerwynBomber

    Sounds like you have Cutler and Allen down for good seasons.

    I’ll stick to two for now: The Miami Dolphins make the playoffs and Andrew Luck wins the MVP.

  • Trac

    I would love to see Mariani become a great return man. Really is the only prediction Jeff made that would mean a whole lot to me.

    • MB30SD

      racist

      • Trac

        Is he white? Lol

  • Trac

    Someone’s been talking to the blarney stone again. What, no Charles Tillman predictions? He he.

  • Trac

    Ryan Mallet is a bum. People close to his career know this.

  • Trac

    Is it too late to trade Jay to Cleveland or Houston? Fales for president. Hee hee.

  • Irish Sweetness

    We’ll win the first game, but a 1-5 record going into the bye is not impossible given the teams we’re playing. One would imagine we’re capable of beating the Raiders, but we’re at the mercy of Cutty’s brain-farts. I do expect an awesome blitz package, but AP up the middle will tell us the real story.

    Aside: In the words of Forrest Gump, I am not a smart man. So at the weekend, rather than devising a quantum treatment of gravity, I instead surmised that when the marketing people at Pfizer went with ‘Viagra’ as a brand name, they were more than aware of its proximity to the word ‘vagina’. The old r/n switcheroo.

    So that’s something for my kids to be proud of. Go Bears!

    • Trac

      3-3 will happen. Maybe even 4-2. Oh ye of little faith!

  • Irish Sweetness

    Guess who cleared waivers ?? Terry fucking Wiliams and Jonathan Anderson AND Ify !!

    – LB Jonathan Anderson

    – NT Terry WIlliams

    – WR Ify Umodu

    – RB Paul Lasike

    – TE Gannon Sinclair

    5 Signed so far.

    • it’s shocking how those UDFAs who never once play with the starters in the preseason don’t get claimed by another team like everybody always says they will.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Every team has their own set.

  • Big Mike

    zzzzz

    • Trac

      Ha, I told evraone that Guinness sucks but they wouldn’t believe me.

      • SC Dave

        Oh, I sure would. A splendidly mediocre beer, and I’m being kind to it.

  • BearDown100393

    Matt Forte will be team MVP and exiled afterward.

    • SC Dave

      Unfortunately, probably true.

  • The GP

    Kyle Long will move to RT by Game 3

    Waiving Sherrod Martin at the last second in favor of a waiver guy bodes really badly for a Bears secondary that may be the worst in years, and that’s saying something.

    Timu and Bostic backing up Chicken Dinner and Jones is scary (not a prediction, just a feeling)

    Marc Mariani leads the team in receptions followed by Forte and Jock Jizz.

    • John Doe

      Long to RT by week 3? It is already done. As soon as they cut Mills, Long became default RT.

      Matt Miller ‏@nfldraftscout 18h18 hours ago

      Kyle Long will move to right tackle, according to league sources. #Bears

    • John Doe

      Don’t worry about ILB backups. Two good ILB prospects on practice squad. Lamin Barrow played for Fox in Denver last year. And Jonathan Anderson had a good camp and preaseason.

  • John Doe

    Bears practice squad looks promising.

    ILB Jonathan Anderson, Texas Christian

    ILB Lamin Barrow, LSU

    T Nick Becton, Virginia Tech

    DL Brandon Dunn, Louisville

    CB Jacoby Glenn, Central Florida

    RB/FB Paul Lasike, BYU

    WR Jalen Saunders, Oklahoma

    TE Gannon Sinclair, Missouri State

    WR Ify Umodu, Northern Arizona

    DL Terry Williams, East Carolina

    • Big Mike

      Sounds good now, but none of those guys ever make a difference. Who was on last year’s practice squad? Can’t name 1 guy.

      • John Doe

        Josh Bellamy was on practice squad last year and made the roster this year.

        Demontre Hurst was on practice squad last year and made the roster this year.

        Terrance Mitchell was on practice squad last year and made the roster this year.

        The point is players on practice squad can be valuable backups and 1 or 2 can become starters.

        • Big Mike

          Solid backups, I’ll give you that. But to use the word “promising”, implies that these guys can be difference makers. The Bears problem isn’t the bottom third of the roster, it’s the top 2/3rds. That’s my point. I love the battle that goes on every year for these guys to make a PS. The PS guys give the most, for the least. When they catch on to the 53, it is life altering for them. If they can contribute on ST, or fill in when I guy or 2 are injured, or in a best case scenario, over a year or two improve their technique enough to compete for playing time that’s a great story. But it probably means your team isn’t very good.

    • Trac

      Sorry but I don’t see any Kurt Warners or James Harrison ‘ s on that list. Other than those 2 guys, I don’t know of another practice squad player that has made the pro bowl.

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        arian foster, Marc Bulger, Jake Delhomme,Rod Smith
        there are probably a few more but those are off the top of my head.

        • Trac

          You’re good.

  • MB30SD

    #45 – We sweep the fudge. We still end up 7-9, but we finally get that monkey off our back.

    Fuck the packers

    Rodgers dead

    • Waffle

      If we sweep fudge that means we split or sweep with lions and vikes. I call 10_6 if that happens

      • MB30SD

        yeeaaah, I’d love nothing more, but…

        • Waffle

          Packers in for a rude awakening this year if injuries woes continue on OL.

          • MB30SD

            yeah, should be interesting to see how fatboy not calling plays will also effect.

          • Waffle

            they just don’t have the horses this year on O with 3 or 4 out of 5 OL hurt or hurting badly. This is the year for them to lose a couple of games in the division and outside the division resulting in a 8-8 or 9-7 season.
            Like the other year where they got into the playoffs with an 8-7-1 record yet people somehow remember them as this unstoppable juggernaut.

          • MB30SD

            i’m sticking with 7-9

          • Waffle

            lol, bastard.
            I’m calling Pack 9-7 at the most based on the talent and change in O playcaller.

          • MB30SD

            oh.

            yeah, that too.

          • SC Dave

            So that means 10-6 since Rodgers is good for at least one extra win all on his own? (damn mf (nttawwt))

          • John Doe

            Same old, same old.

            Every year we hear how bad Packer OL is and every year Rodgers does his thing.

            Rodger more than makes up for most of the deficiencies in OL or WR crew.

          • Waffle

            he is a generational talent to be sure, Jordy now gone too though.

          • Big Mike

            The Packers are an 8-8 team without Rodgers.

          • Trac

            6-10 at best.

      • Irish Sweetness

        It’s the Vikes we need to be worried about ….

    • John Doe

      This is a crazy fantasy as long as Packers have QB Aaron Rodgers and Bears have INT man Jay Cutler. Bears last beat Packers in 2013 when Rodgers was knocked out. The only time Bears have beaten a packer team led by Aaron Rodgers was on 9/27/2010.

      –DateTeamOpponentH/AStadiumResultAttend11/09/2014Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)L 55-1478,29209/28/2014Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 38-1761,73612/29/2013Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 33-2862,70811/04/2013Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)W 27-2078,12212/16/2012Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 21-1362,53409/13/2012Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)L 23-1070,54312/25/2011Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)L 35-2170,57409/25/2011Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 27-1762,33901/23/2011 *Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 21-1462,37701/02/2011Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)L 10-370,83309/27/2010Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)W 20-1762,17912/13/2009Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersHSoldier Field (Chicago, IL)L 21-1462,21409/13/2009Chicago BearsGreen Bay PackersALambeau Field (Green Bay, WI)L 21-1570,920

      • MB30SD

        I know man. I’m just throwing it out there to the cosmos… trying to will it to happen.

        It wasn’t based on ANY real life scenarios or more than 50/50 likelihood.

        • Waffle

          when people post stats like John Doe did i immediately discount the comment. Wrong on so many levels except the actual W-L stat.

          • MB30SD

            I was just going on the W-L… I didn’t even read the stats to be honest. I just know the pain of loosing to those assholes over and over and over again. smmfh

          • Waffle

            as the team balances out again and the positional talent is adjusted in combination with some consistent NFL scheme you’ll see more balance return to the W-L columns. The Bears went through a really tough 2011-2014 period because of bad drafting, lack of skill position players, inept coaching, turnovers and injuries. Alot of things went into it and it’s just insulting as a fan of the game to read a reduced boiled down rehashed tag line over and over why recent history happened like it did.

            It’s ok though because it doesn’t matter what we all think anyway. For instance, guys like Jeff Dickerson get paid to be wrong almost all of the time and to give their shitty opinions. His most recent 53man roster was almost 30% wrong yet nothing will come of it and he’s just filling space like most of us. He just gets paid. I think i’d be more annoyed at some guys here if they got paid. Since they post bullshit for free it makes it alot more tolerable.

          • SC Dave

            Yeah man, like, I don’t charge a nickel for mah booool-sheeeet!

      • Irish Sweetness

        Nah, dude. This is a different team. Rodger hasn’t faced this rush and coaches with actual gameplans before.

        • SC Dave

          Rodgers kicked our ass with Urlacher, Peanut, Briggs, Pep (playing well), etc.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “#30 I love the Bears fight song. But it will never hold a candle to the Chargers.”

    That, is a RIDICULOUS assessment.

    • MB30SD

      I grew up with the charger’s jingle. It was awesome… in the 70’s. People here love it though Al, because it’s so outdated and cheesy.

      For the record, I like ours much more.

      • AlbertInTucson

        I have no qualms about Charger fans or others loving their fight song but ranking it anywhere near one of the classics, one of which IS “Bear Down, Chicago Bear.” is sacrilege.

        The Chargers song, while entertaining, isn’t even second in my book.

        I have the 1960 album ‘THE NFL FIGHT SONGS.” The Redskins, Colts and yes, the Cardinals, songs are all better than the Charger, IMO.

        The Packer song on that album stinks out loud.

      • Trac

        Why do I conjure up images of polyester, bell bottoms and soul train when I hear that song? Lol

  • AlbertInTucson

    “#48 Bears fans will love the center of the team’s offensive line, as Slauson-Montgomery-Long will average throwing 4.5 punches at defensive linemen per game.”

    Still think Long stays at RG?

    • he wrote this before he left for Ireland last week. Seems pretty obvious that Long is playing RT now.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Off to my Fantasy Draft in about an hour.

    • Waffle

      Al, my only advice is don’t forget about the time it starts and end up with an autodraft of Bortles and Carr at QB.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Can’t happen.

        1) I’m awake

        2) Alarm is set anyway, just in case I get sidetracked.

        3) It’s only an 8 team league and SO basic that we draft TEAM QBs and TEAM kickers because there’s no roster shuffling until week 9.

        No defense/Special teams.

        No PPR and very limited yardage bonuses.

        We define “Touchdown League.”

        It meets my standard of “I want a hobby, not a second job”.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Tough for me to see past 5-11 again.

    • John Doe

      It will take some time for Bears to come out of wilderness and the only way out of it is through the draft.

      It will take time because there are still 3-4 potential busts from the last 2-3 drafts on the roster and it remains to be seen how they develop this year. Shea, Bostic, Vereen, Carey all may be gone next year leaving Bears with very little homegrown talent from drafts.

      • BerwynBomber

        Agreed but if Fox and company offer up a 5-11 season this year it will be severely disappointing. Remember, we just ran a guy out of town for doing that.

        • John Doe

          No, it won’t be disappointing. The guy who got ran out of town left very little talent. Problems at OL, DL, DB, QB you name it.

          The Bengals preseason game was a rude awakening about how depleted Bears are in talent department.

          Pace and Fox will get a pass in year one. This is not their roster. This is not their QB. It does not mean they will not try hard to win. They will but lack of talent in crucial spots will eventually show up against even mediocre teams.

          • BerwynBomber

            Disagree. The only unit where we can expect to be weaker is at WR because of BM’s departure, and he had a sub-standard year in ’14 (by his standards) anyway. (Of course the severity of Alshon’s remains to be seen.)

            But we still have a Pro Bowl-level RB, TE, and OG. Some of us have a realistic view of what our QB is. He is obviously a few galaxies away from Aaron Rodgers but he ain’t Geno Smith or Josh McCown either. The O-line has an issue at RT but provided Bushrod is healthy we should still have a line that can be in the top half of the league.

            Defense? We lost Tillman (who really hasn’t played for three years), Briggs (who kinda checked out by the end of 2013) and Jennings (whose 2014 season was a step backward). Plus, we have added a few new pieces. So it is hard for me to see the D as being any worse; in fact, it should be a little better.

            Finally, coaching. Fox over Trestman. Fangio over Tucker. Gase over Kromer.

            I get your point about a rebuild. And I am certainly not making SB plans. But another five win season? Sorry, but that IMV will be an indictment of Fox and company, and yes I am expecting us to win next Sunday.

          • Trac

            You’ve given this a lot of thought haven’t you Ber? I think you’re onto something.

          • Johnnywad

            Well said BB. This is pretty much what I keep coming back to. Might be a rocky first month but I think the Bears will put a run together late this year that has us watching meaningful games in December.

          • CanadaBear

            I try to factor the coaching staff into it but when I look at the games individually I just don’t see many wins. Hope you guys are right.

      • SC Dave

        I already think Bostic is a goner. The others *may* pan out.

    • Irish Sweetness

      With an equal possibility t 11-5. I don’t know how anyone could tell until we see this thing on the road. But at least we know this year that we’ll be better again next year, and better again the year after that.

    • I think the record will be similar, maybe slightly improved, but the team will feel worlds different.

  • AlbertInTucson

    RGIII. The QB Tony Dungy liked over Andrew Luck.

    • Trac

      Hmm…I wonder why that was?

      • SC Dave

        Racist! (Sorry, MB)

    • BearDown100393

      Next HC for Washington.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “#7 The Cleveland Browns will continue to depress me.”

    So, just IMAGINE being a BROWNS FAN!

    • Irish Sweetness

      Seven NFL championships in ten years under Otto. I’d take that.

      • Trac

        Unless you have access the the great whites time machine, no sir, you will not.

        • Irish Sweetness

          And they were in the final the other three years!

          • AlbertInTucson

            And it all happened 50+ years ago.

          • Trac

            Hahaha. I love you Al.

          • SC Dave

            Yeah, but Otto is still QB GOAT.

          • and he’s an NU QB!!!!!!

          • AlbertInTucson

            Graham Gets short shrift as do many from that era because the time is not part of the collective memory of any SPORTSCENTER anchor who ever lived.

  • MB30SD
    • Trac

      There must be a planned parenthood clinic near by.

      #deadserious

      • MB30SD

        jesus trac (see how I did that). Knock that shit off.

        • Trac

          I shouldn’t have said that. It just pisses me off that they get a yawn and a pass on what they do.

          • MB30SD

            i support what they do in general. in a big way. the weird shit I’ve been hearing about the body parts… I have to believe that a bad people thing, not the company.

          • Trac

            Better for me to not comment. It’s a deep moral conviction for me.

          • SC Dave

            Yeah, probably best. All I will say is that it’s a “choice” I’m damn glad to never personally have been part of in any way.

          • MB30SD

            You know I respect your views, even if I don’t agree or like them. ♡♡

          • Trac

            It’s a tight rope sometimes. No worries though mate.

  • Ososfan

    ********#51 MB is finally back!

    • MB30SD

      osooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

    • SC Dave

      I think he pulled a Pepitone variant on us.

      • MB30SD

        What’s thatvdave??

    • SC Dave

      Cept he ain’t no 51

  • Huge Bear’s Penis

    so what “scandals” will there be this year?
    1. overuse of stickum by recievers
    2. a kicker found to be using steel toed shoes
    3. Patriots accessing Military spy satellites to gain an unfair advantage
    4. NFL Cameramen caught filming for ‘Girls Gone Wild’ during halftime of games.
    5. Players shaving points in order to win that weeks Fantasy football game

    • MB30SD

      I vote for #4

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        same here. and Goodell better not destroy those tapes like spy gate.

    • BearDown100393

      6. Goodell becomes Caitlyn.

    • SC Dave

      I vote for #6!

    • Irish Sweetness

      I guarantee you #3 has already happened. Some peon technician who’s a Pats fan ….

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        i am sure it has been done but i don’t think anyone has gotten caught yet

  • TheBigCheesy

    After further review,

    The Bears Still Suck!

    • BearDown100393

      You can do better

      • MB30SD

        Sadly, he can’t

        • Waffle

          looks like it’s preseason for everyone including Cheese.

    • Irish Sweetness

      No we don’t Cheesy. You’ll find that out on Sunday. Back us no spread.

      4 sacks on Rodgers, at least. 180 on the ground for us. It’s back to the Eighties for the Fudgers.

      • TheBigCheesy

        nice

  • Trac

    Why is it so hard for OT’S coming into the league to play LT? Help me out boys, I’ve never really understood why a beast LT coming out of college takes years sometimes before they’re ready.

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/09/07/chiefs-switch-it-up-put-former-no-1-overall-pick-at-right-tackle/

    • willbest

      1) Acting is easier than reacting and while the D is generally reacting to the O the person tasked with hitting the QB is acting rather than reacting.
      2) It comes from the LT to reduce right handed QB’s ability to react to it
      3) The LT plays every snap and at LT. The D-line subs and shifts, and attacks in a variety of different ways. So while a DE or OLB might only need to be versed/specialized in a handful styles/methods/techniques, the LT needs to be able to defend/be versed in all
      4) In college you don’t play quality lines every week and the people you do play typically have the same experience as you where when you hit the NFL everybody has more experience than you.
      5) The NCAA is a piss poor substitute for MLB’s minor league system where lesser players can hone their craft against similar level competition and the standouts being called up to the majors.
      It might be interesting if practice squad pay was the same as the league min, but that the players were exclusive. It would give teams the ability to take on project cases without having to risk them being poached without having to find room on their 53-man. I think it would definitely help with QB development.

      • Trac

        Thanks Will. Makes all the sense in the world. I found this on pff after reading your post. It seems in most cases, you’re either a left side player or a right side player. It’s much more difficult switching sides than positions. Now I see why Long will switch the RT and not LT.

        https://www.profootballfocus.com/blog/2012/11/02/switching-sides/

        • It’s hand work, I think. Feeling comfortable (like a switch-hit batter?)

          Long’s best position might be at OG since he’s powerful, but he seems athletic enough to mirror the edge. It’s standard procedure to start linemen at OG, then RT, then maybe LT.

          We’ll see how Long holds up at RT. Traditionally, it’s the power-run side, so maybe the Bears spring a few more outside long runs which is where Forte/Langford should make their $.

          I would also just put Tayo at RG to keep that inside push.

          I know Ducasse is more polished, but the Oline needs cohesion, and might as well start building that now.

    • Irish Sweetness

      College is Jiu-Jitsu. The NFL is MMA.

      • Big Mike

        This might be your most insightful post ever.

    • Big Mike

      If a LT beats his man on 70 out of 75 plays, he’s had a terrible, terrible day. His “man” is also a combination of players, from a bull rushing tank, to a guy who is faster, as strong and nearly as big, who plays maybe 25 snaps and knows you have to pass on half of those.

  • CanadaBear

    The only wins I see are the Bucs, Skins, Forty Whiners and Raiders. If we get lucky maybe slip by the Kitties or BiQueens at home. I’m going in at 5-11. They always talk about Blue Chip players and good teams usually have 4-5 of them. We have Long and that’s it. I like Forte a lot but I can’t say he’s a blue chipper at his age/position. Maybe the Black Uni but he’s way too inconsistent. Maybe Alshon but that’s a stretch. If you look at the Bears roster, there’s at least a dozen guys that are either “who’s that” or “fuck me, they didn’t cut that bastard”. Not good.

    • Trac

      Everything will change when the Bears come outta the gate a better football team than we realize. We shall see shan’t we?

      • Shady

        I might shan’t my pants if the Bears open with a W.

        • MB30SD

          Your already stinky pants at that…. skunkboy

          • SC Dave

            And it’ll be stankier when we win

    • MB30SD

      Yeeeeesh!!!

  • Doc Hamstring

    I didn’t realize RGIII was French. That’s the only way he’d have the GAUL to think of himself as a good quarterback.

    And, to be fair, he was quoted out of context. He doesn’t really think he’s the best QB in the league. He says he has to feel like he’s the best QB in the league and has to show it on a daily basis. That’s not hubris, that’s a guy trying to prove to himself and to others that he’s good, period.

    • Trac

      I don’t get the hate for him either. I was never a fan and thought he was over hyped from the get go.

    • SC Dave

      I was going to mention the problem, but did not have the gall to do so. Your response was better than mine would have been.

    • BerwynBomber

      And were RG3 Cutty, Blogfather would be praising him for how he is handling Gruden. And he would also be calling for Gruden’s head.

    • I can’t believe the Skins are still rostering RG3. That seems like a huge distraction, but perhaps they can’t let go of a player they invested so much in.

      Or maybe, this benching is to try to make RG3 mature as a player and person as opposed to a salesman.

  • Shady

    I know most of you meatballs don’t like golf, but Rickie Fowler (USA) v. Henrik Stenson (SWE) are going at it at the TCP Boston and it is pretty damn impressive.

    • MB30SD

      Meh

  • AlbertInTucson

    I’ve done my part, folks.

    The curse has been applied: Used the 2nd pick of my fantasy draft to select GREEN BAY QUARTERBACK.

    • TheBigCheesy

      Hundley fell to the 2nd round?

      • willbest

        I think he means the #2 pick, not the second round pick. But that also confuses me. Because in a 2QB or a QB point juiced league GBQ shouldn’t have survived to the 2nd pick, and if its a standard scoring league than passing on Bell or AP is a head scratcher.

        • AlbertInTucson

          For YOUR benefit, Willbest, it was the 2nd pick of the first round. My 2nd rounder (15th pick overall) was Odell Beckham.

    • willbest

      I drafted Alshon as my #1 WR, and he is looking very likely to continue my curse of my #1WR that end up sucking.

  • DocNitty Ellipsoids Ornamental

    How bored am I? I listened to the entire Chargers fight song.

    • SC Dave

      That’s bored all right.

  • SC Dave

    Goddamn it. This is the fucking shit.

    The difference is so clear.

    Mike McCarthy talking about kicking the Bears’ asses and here we are on who makes the motherfucking PRACTICE SQUAD.

    Those little cunts up in Green Bay can keep trying to sneak up, but THIS IS FUCKING PACKERS WEEK!

    Jordy wasting his knee is just the beginning. On SUNDAY, it’s time to start with the Vadge! Time to waste the Ego of the Fudge fans.

    • Waffle

      haha, fired up.

      • SC Dave

        Damn right, compadre!

  • SC Dave

    Oh, and #37, only if the offense makes him kick 90 of the damn things.

  • CanadaBear

    Hey Al, I watched part of a Sox game last week and I have to ask. How do you stand listening to Hawk? He cries about every close pitch if it doesn’t go the Sox’ way and never stops crying. Samardjia was pitching and he was all over the place. No command of his fastball. A guy takes a pitch with the sacks packed and the ump calls it a ball. It was close either way. Next pitch grand salami. Hawk was still crying about that call 2 innings later. Stone just doesn’t say anything. He just lets Hawk ramble. It was really bad.

    • AlbertInTucson

      No argument.

      Harrelson’s stayed too long at the dance. Was never a big fan anyway.

      Now that WGN American doesn’t clear any of the Chicago Sportscasts, it’s not an issue.

      He only occasionally shows up an MLB when they just pass on a a teams local guys.

      Stone carried Harry Caray for years, he’s probably tired of having to haul theHawk around, too.

      Unfortunately, rumor has it that Stone’s kind of jerk away from the mic.

      • CanadaBear

        At least Harry could be entertaining if you only saw a few innings here and there. Totally agree about Stone. I remember years ago he had a scrape with the law for a domestic abuse complaint. I used to go to a lot of Sox games when Veeck owned them. The place was rocking and always fun.

        • AlbertInTucson

          Harry should have hung it up BEFORE he had the stroke. We used to get Cub games on a station out of Casa Grande and he was already unintelligible on the radio before he had the stroke. Too many dead brain cells from the boozing.

          • BerwynBomber

            Agreed. Harry was awful by the end. Hawk has obviously slipped but he is at least still lucid. Harry was not. Santo was an idiot’s delight too.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Seven years sober this week. Wish it was about 27.

          • Big Mike

            Congrats Irish.

          • CanadaBear

            Awesome! 21+ for me. One of the best things I’ve ever done. Of course, I go in for herbal therapy so it’s not like I’m a paragon of virtue!

        • SC Dave

          Remember the shower in the walkway in front of the bleachers just right of dead center? I used it to sober up a bit more than once. In those days, we’d bring a big-ass Coleman spigot cooler filled with rum and coke. Two fucking bucks to get into the bleachers for a Sunday double-header.

          Zisk, Gamble, Solderholm (sp?), Herman,Barrios, Stone, Wilbur Wood… they sucked but life was good.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Wilbur didn’t suck.

            People thought Chuck Tanner was crazy to make him a starter.

            All he did was win 20 games or more in 4 consecutive seasons with 20+ complete games each season.

            Guys don’t pitch 20 complete games in a CAREER these days.

            He’d probably STILL be pitching if he hadn’t taken a liner off his kneecap.

            Wilbur Wood vs. Mickey Lolich. Don’t be late, folks, because those guys didn’t screw around. That game was going run about an hour and 58 minutes.

      • SC Dave

        Aw… Harry was the bomb. Sitting out in the center field bleachers with the rest of us bums on Sunday double-headers in the Veeck days. Drinking and saying shit like “that wouldn’t have been a home run in a phone booth” and “he walks him on four pitches, tying a major league record”.

        I don’t think they make ’em like that any more.

        • AlbertInTucson

          My buddies and I were in the Centerfield Bleachers at Old Sox Park the FIRST TIME Harry broadcast from out there.

          • Bender McLugh

            Al, I love it when you read us the olds

          • CanadaBear

            I was out there once when Harry was out there. My brother-in-law and I were about 5 rows away. He had a cooler about the size of a coffin and had it refilled around the 5th inning. Everyone close was drinking with Harry (we were too far away to get in on that). I have no idea how many beers Harry had but it was waaaaaay more than me and I was pretty hammered.

        • AlbertInTucson

          The guy who amazes me still is Vin Scully. He’s lost a little off his fastball but he’s STILL a pleasure to listen to and definitely the best, ever.

      • Big Mike

        Steve Stone is a brilliant announcer. But he is a grade a douche bag.

        • AlbertInTucson

          That’s the way I hear it, too.

    • Bender McLugh

      if I hear “can o’ corn” one more bleepin time……….

  • SC Dave

    At the end of all the drivel, all the talk, all the asshole comments by sportscasters and fans like Cheesy and us, there is this:

    “Chicago leads the all-time series 92-90-6.”

    Now THAT is a fucking rivalry. That close, over all those games. It’s so much bigger than us. And all real* fans of both teams are privileged to be part of it.

    * One of the bartenders at my most frequent watering hole asks every self-professed “Packer fan” to name >four< players on the team. Last I checked, one of fourteen managed to do so. I had the pleasure of being around for three of them being asked. They all failed. It was truly hilarious.

    • CanadaBear

      Lots of bandwagon fans for sure. Esp in the media. They’ve been getting multiple BJ’s from almost every media outlet. Still think they smoke us twice but I also don’t think they go far in the playoffs.

      • Big Mike

        They could smoke us twice and miss the playoffs. We’re not going to be very good this year.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Our defense has to be better than theirs Trac. That counts for something. A good defense can put Rodgers on his back, and he can’t do much from there. The running game will also keep him off the field. Then when he gets back onto the field, he gets smacked.

        Don’t event take the spread. Bears.

    • Trac

      What’s a good boy like you going to bars for Dave?

      • SC Dave

        Either Bears games or Buzztime.

        • Trac

          Life is a strong enough elixir for me. Yes Sir, no buzz needed. Bears games on the other hand? Yes, drinking is recommended.

          • SC Dave

            Good for you. Stay that way. Even if we’re 1-15.

          • Trac

            The thing with me is I just realized I like waking up feeling great(every day). Nothing monumentous happened other than getting married and having kids. Lol. Once in a blue moon (4-5yrs ) I may have a glass of Merlot with a fancy meal out on the town.

    • Big Mike

      Some Packer “fans” are fans of this team for one of two reasons. 1) They are front runner fans or 2) they are assholes who are Packer fans just to be annoying at every outing you see them at.

    • willbest

      Lets be honest, its been a bad couple decades and the bears used to have a commanding lead.

    • I don’t want the pack to tie the series, that’s for damn sure.

  • AlbertInTucson

    R.I.P Martin Milner.

    Probably best known as Officer Pete Malloy on the Adam 12 TV series he was also in a LOT excellent movies in supporting roles from SANDS OF IWO JIMA and MR ROBERTS to THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS.

  • Trac

    Told you so. The sports reporters don’t have anything to write about so they pull everyone’s chain. Kam ain’t going nowhere.

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/09/07/carroll-seahawks-are-really-not-interested-in-trading-chancellor/

  • Big Mike

    Today, as is the tradition my brother and I exchanged the greeting so familiar to Bears fans. When you pass a fellow fan (often adorned with Bears gear) You simply say “Bearsss”. The only suitable response is “Bearssss”. We’ve taken to texting this message to each other. Today we each almost simultaneously texted this message. Of particular note, is we both texted “bearss” lower case. Perhaps indicative of our lack of enthusiasm for a rebuilding campaign.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Don’t sweat the losses if there are ny Dave. As you say, we’re rebuilding, but I saw enough to store hope again. We’ll be able to run the ball again. I feel if Tayo goes to RT then the offense could go on a roll. Don’t know what the run fits will be like, but the pass-rush sure seems to be there in the blitz packages. I’m pumped. I’ll take a 1-5 start as long as the 1 comes first.

      Bearss.

      • Big Mike

        I’m pleased that the nerd is gone. We’ll at least have our manhood. The young guys might get beat, but they are all fighting for their careers so I don’t expect there will be a lot of give up.

    • NewBearInTown

      bearsss

    • Waffle

      MmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmBearsss

    • MB30SD

      BEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

      FUCK THE PACKERS!!!

      RODGERS FUCKING DEEEEAAAAAADDD!!!

      • Waffle

        No matter what happens Rodgers must be crushed by constant blitzing and hits.

      • Big Mike

        Well alright then. As I say to my friends in real life that I have not seen for a while… Good to see you jack ass. 🙂 Kidding aside, glad you’ll be posting during the season.

  • Waffle

    Thread it up Jefe, it’s Packer Week.

    • Trac

      Where oh where can our fearful leader be?

    • He’s leaving this up for a while. When was the last time we played the Packers in the opening wk?

      • BerwynBomber

        Seems a benefit to us but generally not a fan of intra-division games as openers.

      • CanadaBear

        The first game of Cutler’s Chicago career. Lach went out for the season (wrist) and Cutler shit the bed with a bunch of INT’s. I remember because I was on Cycle Oregon and I watched it with my biking buddy from Wisconsin. He got totally hammered and was a huge ass all game. The next day he had 6 flat tires while he was completely hungover. Karma’s a bitch!

        • Cutler almost always shits the bed vs GB.

          He played very well two yrs ago (before he got that contract), and he did better in one game last season in the first game.

          But outside those games (including the NFC Championship), Cuttler has choked, driving Woodson to refrain, “Same ole Cutler…”

          I’m curious to see if Cutler responds to the new philo and decent Oline.

          I wanna see if he can hit WRs in stride. If he refrains from dangling the football like a loaf of bread. If he hits the 3rd, 4th option, or throws it away – if he still dumps it off for 3 yds when we need 7…

          In the past he hasn’t, but a gal can dream…

          • CanadaBear

            You wanna see a lot!! Cutler set the tone for his Chi vs GB career in that first game. I think Cutler will be better about ball protection but will still throw some head scratchers and still fumble a few times. He used to hit guys in stride but there hasn’t been much of that in the last couple of years. Always kills the YAC. I have no idea what to expect other than a lot of ground and pound until the Bears are down by 21. I made the mistake of buying the Sunday ticket last year. $200 thrown out the window. Not gonna happen this year!!!!!

          • Waffle

            what decent O line, Bushrod just said he doesn’t know if he’s playing on Sunday and we don’t officially have a RT…and if we do have a RT we don’t have a RG…and where the fuck is Alshon? Never the less, it’s Packer Week and anything can happen. Rodgers must die.

          • BerwynBomber

            Cutty actually played well in the infamous ’13 finale.

            The first GB game last year? He played well the first half. Second half he crapped the bed. Two INTs and two other bad passes the GB very nearly picked.

  • Goodell is going to attend Bears/Packers this weekend. Hope he gets boo’d mercilessly by the fans.

    • He will

      • MB30SD

        he always does. Last I heard him and Chaney were planning a hunting trip. they should start a consulting firm, they could call it Lucifer & Lucifer. Catchy no?

        • CanadaBear

          If Cheney shoots Roger in the face will Roger still have to apologize? If anyone ever had any doubts about how horrible a person Cheney is, that should have put it to rest.

          • MB30SD

            Yes, they are both soulless, evil cunts only interested in perpetuating their own power and wealth (of them and their cronies)

            And maybe if we’re lucky they’ll shoot each other in the face?

  • Irish Sweetness

    Word is the Packers defense ain’t all that. Gonna be a long day for them.

    The money is on at 9/4.

    • TheBigCheesy

      Where did you glean that information? Game tape from 2011-2014?

      • Huge Bear’s Penis

        Patriots leaked footage of GBs practices this offseason.

      • Scharfinator

        FROM YOUR BUTT

  • WP34

    We got nothing to lose (we can only lose 1 game).

    Lets bring – Balls to the wall -Effort.

    Failure is not an option – Mentality.

    Make them Earn every yard; make smart plays on Offense.

    Any Given Sunday.

    Come on Bearssss!!!

    (I luv ur enthusiasm below MB)

    • Trac

      What about the rest of us? I ain’t no band leader!

      • WP34

        Wasnt personal Trac.

        I was referring to the pump up post from MB, that I miss from my playing days:

        BEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

        FUCK THE PACKERS!!!

        RODGERS FUCKING DEEEEAAAAAADDD!!!

        • Trac

          I know, just messin around buddy boy.

      • MB30SD

        you’ve been the OG cheerleader trac. Until game 3, then watch out! hahaha

        • Trac

          Hahaha. Ain’t Dat the truth. Hahaha

  • RenoBear

    Saw some article today that Alshon leaning towards skipping week 1 because of contract concerns and not wanting to further injure his calf (Seriously WTF did he do to that calf in a WALKTHROUGH???) … But the article is from BLeacher report so it gets zero stock in my book… But if there’s even a grain of truth to that bullshit I’ll be fucking PISSED. Play the games fucker, your money will come.

    • Waffle

      lol, that would be pure comedic gold. Please say it ain’t so Alshon.

    • I doubt it’s true. Acting like that to a new regime isn’t going to help you get a huge new contract.
      And Jason LaCanfora spews garbage like this with unnamed sources in videos all the time, it’s almost never right.

      • Waffle

        unless he doesn’t care if his new contract is in Chicago or not…….

        • BerwynBomber

          He would be crazy not to stay here — unless the front office and Fox don’t like him. He’ll be our anointed #1. No guarantee he will be thought of the same everywhere else.

        • If we could trade him for a 1st now, I would.
          But, that’s just me.

          • Waffle

            maybe we could pick up an injured RB in the first round or something.

        • yeah, that’s a definite possibility at this point.

      • Just realized this is Cole, not LaCanfora. My bad.
        But these videos are just spewing garbage at a wall and hoping some of it sticks.

  • Waffle

    lol, Bushrod may not play, no established RG if Long moves to tackle. No 1st round draft pick WR, Alshon holding out/hurt, McClellin and UDFA Jones at ILB, no real safeties…
    Not another fucking word about Cutler.

    • Johnnywad

      I still feel like the Bears will win this game.

      Alshon will play. New coaches don’t fuck around.

      • Waffle

        alshon will not play. Hasn’t practiced for a month…..

        • Johnnywad

          He’s playing goddammit.

    • Trac

      Cutler may not play either.

      • Waffle

        he’ll play, and he’ll do it with little to no weapons and no consistent line and he’ll do it without throwing people under the bus. Then he’ll get blasted for it no matter what happens. It’s ok. It’s the Bears fan way.
        The key for the O is to limit penalties and get 4 to 5 yds on first down and for the D to get off the field on 3rd down which is the notorious down that Green bay kills us on it seems like no matter if it’s 3rd 1 or 3rd and 11.
        Put a wallop on Cobb to get that shoulder tender, hit the TE’s off the line so scrubs like
        Richard Rogers don’t catch 50yd passes again and hit Rodgers every time he drops back.

        I don’t know what’s going to happen because anything could happen…I’m excited for the season to start.

        • Trac

          Oohrah!!!! Mmmm…koolaid

        • SC Dave

          Gotta agree big time on getting good gains on first down. Second and 5 or 6 is soo much better than 2nd and 9 or 10.

    • BerwynBomber

      Ah, the pre-emptive Cutler excuse-making. Let’s see how he plays first. If he is good, we will reward him with due praise. If he is bad, you can remind us of these and your usual # of excuses.

      • Waffle

        I didn’t say Cutler would play well. I just wanted to point out that there are MUCH bigger issues for the team in general. That is not an excuse. If anything it’s an excuse on why the overall team record won’t be better if you want to read it incorrectly.

        lol, also, how is pointing out defensive deficiencies the same as making excuses for the QB, who plays on offense?

        • BerwynBomber

          Of course there are larger issues than Cutty. But let us see what our MASH unit looks like on offense first. Things aren’t too bright for the Cheese either with their Jordy and O-line concerns. I also think their CBs can be had with all their player turnover in the offseason.

          Obviously if Alshon doesn’t play that will affect our chances to capitalize on said Cheese personnel turnover.

      • WP34

        I guess I am a closet #6 apologist.

        Curious what waffle posted above is untrue…

        • BerwynBomber

          The “not another word about Cutler” line. Sorry, if he plays poorly, there will be other words.

          Anyway, let us see what our offense looks like first and how Cutty plays. He has looked solid all pre-season and we still have Matty and Uni to lend a hand.

          • WP34

            BB, no need for sorry.

            Maybe if 6 plays smarter and doesn’t force throws …to tie or bring us closer in the score we would of won a few more games over the years., if our defense could keep holding.

            I always just considered 6 was trying to make a play with players not as skilled on his team – at OL and WR. Maybe I have been seeing wrong all along…

            What i respect about 6 is his toughness, to me doesn’t seem to point fingers, and is competitive.

          • BerwynBomber

            Sounds good to me, WP. I expect him to play well. I always expect him to play well.
            #BearsOptimism#

    • It’ll make our victory all that more glorious!

      • Waffle

        we gonna shock the world!

        • Trac

          We’re Gonna Shock THE Nation with our wing T formation. Hee hee.

      • Trac

        Mwaaahaaaa (sticks pinky into the corner of mouth then farts)

    • Huge Bear’s Penis

      i agree only if the D and Oline have a respectable game and it does not boil down to Cutty throwing a pick that he should not have thrown like to a fat bastard on the DLine or triple coverage jump ball.

  • Trac

    I got your 50 right here Jeff! New thread dude, psst…we play the Packers on Sunday.

  • Potato Rodriguez

    http://footballandpoop.com/nfcn/actual-nfcn-predictions-it-cutlers-like-a-knife-and-it-feels-so-right/

    Buncha stupid Packers fans saying they’re going 14-2 and the Bears are going 5-10 … hah, yeah right.

  • Potato Rodriguez

    How delusional are these Packers fans?

    http://footballandpoop.com/nfcn/final-actual-nfcn-prediction-all-non-green-bay-packers-teams-suck/

    they’re in for a rude awakening this Sunday. I think Fox starts a new era. The monsters of the midway is coming back. Rodgers will start to decline and the Bears will be tops the division once again.

    • Trac

      Bring the dip, potato chip! Da Bearsce!

  • Sancho W

    this place actually exists???

    • Potato Rodriguez

      we take the football, out of football and poop

    • Trac

      Is that a turd in the background of your avatar? Your world is about to come to an end.

    • It exists, unlike Packer playoff wins.

      • Sancho W

        unlike a bears…playoff…..at all? something i dunno YOU GOT ME THERE!

      • MB30SD

        don’t feed the packer trolls.

  • Didn’t Fangio limit the Pack pretty well on the 9ers?
    Granted, we don’t have Bowman, Willis, Smiths, etc, but at least he has a proven scheme.

    All this talk about Vadgers, we might have to worry about Lacy more. Pack might want to test our run-d while Rodgers has scrubs and a hobbled Cobb .

    Who’s our Dline? Goldman, Jenkins, Sutton?

    Curious to see our new LBs and secondary.

    • MB30SD

      yeah too bad the entire 2014 49s squad retired this offseason.

      I did read that bowman is as badass as ever. Dude is an animal

    • Sancho W

      hobbled cobb???? lol he hurt his shoulder not his leg dippy doo dad

  • Sancho W

    wuddup home slices

    4ever85 whata cool name.

    with brian urlacher avitar, thats AWESOME!

  • Sancho W

    wonder how many touchdowns rodgers is going to throw sunday
    probably only play the first quarter then sit out.

  • Sancho W

    im horny. and i poop alot

  • Sancho W

    anywhosen
    i go by jordy, im a mod at footballandpoop.com, ive been banned from espn more times then all of the african americans incarrsirated, and im pretyt cool

  • MB30SD

    jesus christ.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
    • Trac

      I get angry seeing punks like that. You won’t like me when I get angry.

    • I saw that last night, and first thought was, “Isn’t that assault?”
      Sure enough, they might be charged with assault.
      Texas loves football only slightly less than putting criminals away for a long time.

      • Trac

        I’m not gonna get all philosophical on you but the older I get, the more I see young punks like these disrespect authority figures at an alarming rate. I run into guys at my business that dont ask for applications, they just tell me I need to hire them. Yeah right on buddy, don’t call me I’ll call you.

  • Potato Rodriguez

    there’s a real-life horse over on footballandpoop.com that spits out over-sensationalized stats about the Packers and bullshit about the Bears …

    he needs to be DEALT WITH …

    luckily, livefyre is free and easy to sign up with, and they host all the comment boards through footballandpoop.com

    PLUS, you can embed gifs so fffudge Packers have to see gifs of Shea McClellin breaking Rodgers collarbone over and over and over and over.

  • Potato Rodriguez

    … and there is some pedophile (from Wisconsin, no doubt) war veteran with wooden limbs who is a complete asshat …

    … he needs to be DEALT WITH!

  • Potato Rodriguez

    … and some Raiders fan (I can’t figure it our yet) …


    … needs to be DEALT WITH!

  • Potato Rodriguez

    and something called a Gubby … but he’s a Bears fan, so he’s cool

  • The GP

    Cue Al telling us “don’t feed the Packer trolls” in 3…2….1…..

    • MB30SD

      especially spam-bot trolls posing as fans of the opposing team. brutal.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Best response to troll posts.

        See troll post.

        See collapse button on upper right of post.

        Collapse troll post.

        AND It’s faster than anything you can type.

  • SC Dave

    If all this isn’t the most pathetic attempt to drive undeserved page hits, i dont know what is

  • pre-season prognostications.

    Amari Cooper will win OROY
    Leonoard Williams will win DROY
    White will attend ceremony.

    Tyler Lockett will resemble Hester (in his prime).

    Antonio Brown or Julio Jones will win receiving crown.

    Either AP or CJ Anderson will win the rushing crown.

    can AP win comeback player of year even though he was suspended for abusing his child?

    If not Bradford will win comeback player of year.

    Bradford will throw for 4,500 yds

    Offensive player of the yr: Luck
    Defensive player of yr. Watt

    Dolphins and Chargers will be WC teams in the AFC
    Cards and Cowboys in the NFC

    Raiders will be most improved teams in the AFC
    Bears in the NFC

    I’m not sure which one will fall hardest, but it’s gonna be the Ravens, Steelers or Bengals in the AFC
    In the NFC, the Kittens will suck more than they should.

    Bears CBs will look better than expected.
    Bears pass rush will not.

    Andre Johnson will be productive again (when he’s not inj).

    Eagles will have a top 3 run game (by committee).

    Eddie Royal will catch 80+ for 800+ yds, 8+TDs (888)

    Rodgers=Muerto.

    • MB30SD

      who’s andre johnson

      • Irish Sweetness

        The guy that may well be leading stats charts after week three. I think he’ll end up being Luck’s favorite target.

    • BerwynBomber

      I’ve got either L’Veon Bell or DeMarco Murray for the rushing title.

      AP, provided he remains healthy, will get his yards, but as when Favre was there, Minny coaching staff will want their QB to be the focal point of their O; i.e., it’s TeddyB’s team now.

      • Bell has a two game suspension to work out of, and Murray worries me on two fronts. ONE, inj, TWO, the committee. Sproles and Matthews will cut into the pie.

        I don’t think the Vikes want Bridgewater to do much. That’s why they were so adamant about not trading AP.

        They want to run AP into the ground, play tough D, and take pressure of Bridgewater. The SEA blueprint, IMO.

        • BerwynBomber

          Good point about Bell. Stupid me. And I’ve been praising him for immediately owning up to his offense and taking his punishment, no questions asked, let alone lies told (Brady).

          Could be re: AP. But I also think Zimmer wants the Vikes to be Bridgewater’s team; in fact, he has said that a few times in pieces I’ve read on them. Granted, Bridgewater ain’t morphing into Peyton Manning anytime soon but on the other hand they will trust him to throw it more than they did Ponder.

        • Irish Sweetness

          The Eagles were the clear #1 rushing team in PS. We may find out that Murray wasn’t just a product of a good OL in Dallas. There will be RB by committee on a lot of teams, including the Bears perhaps. Matty is not our fastest/shiftiest back anymore.

    • SC Dave

      Tyler Lockett will not resemble Hester in his sub-prime, let alone ’06-’07

    • Irish Sweetness

      I bet you Bell or Murray win the rushing Crown. The Eagles look set to go off.

  • sociosquatch

    woo i’m so glad i found this place!! we gonna kick some stupid packers ass next week. i live in portland and we took over the packers bar and made it a bears bar and now they leave whenever we sing “bear down” after a glorious victory! woo i’m glad i found this place!

  • BerwynBomber

    Reading below reminds me why Cheesy is a good rival troll.

    • MB30SD

      the garbage below is just so bad. ridiculous. It’s not even rivals posting, it’s just spam and random absurdities.

      That said, look at the fan base we’re dealing with… you’ve got a perfect little empirical window into that average fan’s intellect level right thar below, ya-do!

      • Cheesy lives in Cali and don’t think he ever even visited Wisc.
        In other words, a closet Bears fan.

        • MB30SD

          yes, this is true. he was traumatized as a young boy by the 49ers… the whole team. Must be hard to be assaulted by an entire squad of pro athletes like that. Poor kid.

        • TheBigCheesy

          Cheesy does not live in California. Has been to Wisconsin, but not often. Is not a closet Bears fan.

          May or may not have been assaulted by the entire San Francisco 49ers Football team.

          • The GP

            Cheesy lives in Alaska now. DHS came looking for him in NoCal.

          • MB30SD

            wtf dude. You moved out of SC?! No place like that joint… anywhere. Maybe stinky OB.

  • MB30SD

    http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/08/us/georgia-brothers-charged-attack-parents/index.html

    wtf is going on in this world?! Holy shit trac, you may get your Apocalypse sooner rather than later maings.

    • MB30SD

      I gotta stop looking at my yahoo home page.

      • Watching/reading the news cycle is sadistic almost.
        When I first got cable, I watched CNN/FOX/CSNBC all the time, then I just got tired of it.
        Now, I don’t even have cable and only catch Seinfeld re-runs from time to time.

        When my friends ask, “Hey, do you watch…” I cut em off right away, “Nope.”

        • MB30SD

          I didn’t know you have curly hair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMEb8JSvzdc

          • hmmm…watch Game of Thrones, or Orange is the New Black…or bang a chick? hmmmm decisions decisions.

            Although I did start watching Narco on Netflix last week. Not bad.

          • Waffle

            I just started watching Narcos on Netflix about Pablo Escobar.

          • Yeah, that’s the one. It’s pretty…dope.

          • MB30SD

            looked good… I don’t have NF. Just prime, TWC, and AppleTV

          • Waffle

            get Netflix, it costs 7.00

          • SC Dave

            Although they really don’t have that great a selection.

          • Waffle

            movie wise I agree.

          • Irish Sweetness

            You have the Interweb …. ahem ….

          • SC Dave

            Cute

          • Irish Sweetness

            GOT is awesome. I’ve just finished watching it for the third time.

            ‘Vikings’ is good. So was a two-season thing called ‘Rome’.
            Breaking Bad is unmissable.

        • SC Dave

          Why do you guys think I always have to run off to a sports bar for The Only Game That Matters? Do yourselves a giant favor and get rid of the idiot tube.

      • Waffle

        don’t even watch the news man. It makes you lose hope in humanity.

        • SC Dave

          Exactly why I’ve been 5+ years since I’ve had a TV. It would have been longer, ‘ceptin’ my daughter and I wanted to watch World Cup 2010.

      • SC Dave

        A good plan.

    • BerwynBomber

      Sick …

  • The GP

    So I was a bad man, and went and looked at this football and poop site the spammers are shit staining the forum with,

    Holy fuck.

    It’s like Arkham Asylum over there. Nothing but asswipe trolls in a constant circle jerk on the forum. But they do allow embedded animated GIFs into their forum, so you can guess how that is going with zero moderators.

    Between that site and CNN, you would think the Texas Chain Saw Massacre was a documentary about the average person from the south.

    • Waffle

      haha, GP you’re so novice.

      • The GP

        I am.

        • Waffle

          that was a surreal portion of the day that I laughed and wanted no part of. What the fuck was going on with those guys?

          • The GP

            You know that mega creppy fucker from Wes Craven’s the Hills Have Eyes? The guy who looked like the lead singer of midnight oil?

            http://factmag-images.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/HillsHaveEyes261113.jpg

            That guy.

            I pictured a whole hoard of guys who looked like that crawling over the blog walls covered in pig shit running around the place until Uncle Al picks up a shotgun and just starts downing them with buckshot.

          • Irish Sweetness

            What’s that dude’s name ? I couldn’t find his cast photo …..

    • SC Dave

      So ok asshole, you gave them the ONE page hit they were hoping for?

      • MB30SD

        Dave! Dude! EASY MAINGS!

        • Waffle

          lol, I think dave was being sarcastic.

          • SC Dave

            This. Thanks Yonny, I owe you one.

            GP, lighten up, man. I know it’s Packers week, but if you think about the history of the blog, I have probably been the greatest single proponent of not feeding trolls for the last six years or so.

          • MB30SD

            can never fucking tell with you. now I feel like all of our ex girlfriend… the one without the sense of humor who sucked so badly… and not in the good way

          • SC Dave

            I suppose I’m a little random. I actually wondered what the response to that would be. Guess I got my answer.

            But fuck it, no harm, no foul.

            Rodgers = muerta

          • Trac

            Dave, you remind me of this guy. Hahaha

            http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKCN0PP2OE20150715

          • MB30SD
          • SC Dave

            hmmm…

      • The GP

        Dave, I could succumb to any number of trolls and still not even be in your asshole ballpark. I’d be out on Waveland avenue of Asshole Field, while you are batting at home plate.

        • Trac

          Would you please explain this post to me, remember, I live in the south. He he.

          • TheBigCheesy

            Waveland Avenue is the street behind the left field bleachers of Wrigley Field…

            Wrigley Field is filled with a bunch of assholes.

          • BearDown100393

            This is true. Every wanker from Wisconsin visiting the big city goes to Wrigley as though it were home away from Lambeau.

  • SC Dave

    So, what’s the probability of Bass becoming a stud for the Titans? 0.25?

    • Waffle

      I like Bass. Not a bad 7th rounder. Definitely a 4-3 DE

    • he’s still an interesting prospect. Kinda curious if he pans out.

      Also, GP kiss of death.

      • The GP

        It’s true. If I name my FF team after them – they are GONE

  • Shady

    I see we’ve started making excuses for Jay already, and legitimately so, but I’d really like to see him have a halfway decent performance against the Packers. He’s 1-10, 57% completion, 67% rating, 14 TD and 21 INT which is a fucking horrible split. I don’t think his offense has scored more than 20 points against GB more than once.

    But come out on Sunday, have a halfway decent performance, and turn a new leaf for the new seson. Everybody and their brother knows how terrible Jay has performed against the Pack, so GB is going to load up against the run and force Jay to air it out knowing the INTs will soon follow. Jay, don’t do it. Play smart. Protect the football. Live to see another down. Even if the defense is giving up a TD on every possession, don’t get away from the game plan. Instead of feeling like he needs to win the game by himself, Jay needs to play smart and play within himself. Asking for too much? Probably, but we’ll see.

    • “Instead of feeling like he needs to win the game by himself, Jay needs to play smart and play within himself.”

      That’s at the center of his shakesperan flaw. Cutler will never “play within himself” – or he will, but he considers his “self” all-encompassing, like Saddam Hussain.

      It’s like waiting for Othello to stop being jealous. We all know how that ends.

      But, hope springs eternally. So, fuck it, why not?

    • TheBigCheesy

      He’s 1-11 versus Green Bay if you include the biggest game of his life…..

    • Trac

      Clean slate this weekend Shady. I can only think about winning this game, a loss is unthinkable.

    • BearDown100393

      Josh only has 1 win also…..

      • Waffle

        How many tds for Rodgers in that one?

    • Irish Sweetness

      Jeez, those numbers are stanky.

      Not to set up a Chewbacca defense, but the reason Cutty’s numbers won’t be like that in this game is not really down to Cutty:

      1. The Packers defense is in disarray. This is the feeling amongst Packer fans from what I gather.

      2. Our defense is not the defense of yore. It’s new. It sacks the shit out of people and it gets in your backfield quickly.

      3. Our running game will be around Top 5 I think, that kind of ball park. And if Tayo is indeeed going to RT then watch out. That’s a 350lb bruiser in beside Long. For the first time we’ll have a running game to keep Vadgers off the field – and the defense to pressure him and get the ball back.

      Eddie Royal’s hip thing may be just a smokescreen from Fox, but Cutty wouldn’t be forced to throw on every down for a change.

      I see numbers like 16/24, 220 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs. 4+ sacks of Rodgers, 1 INT. 180 yards rushing for the Bears.

      • BerwynBomber

        Agreed. I think if we can keep Lacy in check we have a good shot. Rodgers is the magician but I think he and his receiving corps usually take a few games to get in total synch (plus, no Jordy and a banged up O-line).

        And yes, the Cheese D as has been only average of late/hardly top of the league. They will be breaking in a new starting CB who is tiny and a rook or two might be seeing time as well at that position. This is not the team all the “experts” think it is.

        Alshon’s presence, though, would be a big help on the O side.

  • MB30SD

    So I went looking for some titties to show you guys to keep up my rep, but I found this instead (for now). Any a you guys into semi-homo-erotic man muscle porn (NTTAWWT)?

    http://www.muscleprodigy.com/top-50-most-jacked-nfl-players/

    Btw, have I mentioned lately how dreamy brady quinn is?

    • MB30SD
      • MB30SD

        Dude, you wanna see a guy REALLY loose his jock: https://vine.co/v/etJnO1lvnKm

        DEEEEEEUUUUUUUM!!!!!

        • Shady

          Saw that last night, classic “B” button move right there.

      • Shady

        That’s a Proven winner, but a bit too cookie Cutler for my taste.

        • MB30SD

          of course she is… you need something a bit more in the mold of a yoga teacher maybe? In san diego maybe? Living with her yoga instructor maybe?

          Sorry.

          • Shady

            What, nothing about the lingering stench of failure?

          • MB30SD

            I’m sooooorry.

            watch the vine below… and by the time you finish it, you’ll feel right as rain.

          • Shady

            It’s so bad, it’s affecting the way food tastes. Arugula, which is normally pretty awful on its own, decided to taste like skunk today. Kinda fucked up what would otherwise have been a delicious turkey sandwich.

          • MB30SD

            hahahahahahaha!

            love arugula

          • Shady

            Of course you do, it’s Fabuluujayyy.

          • MB30SD

            baaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha… I miss you maings. Come shoot em up with us. And fix your mic

          • Shady

            Just curious when you meet yoga instructors around town (which are a dime a dozen) do you secretly wonder if it’s Shady’s ex?

          • MB30SD

            yes. and then i secretly want to take pics of our acrobatic sex acts and then torture you with them for eternity. hahahahaha

          • Shady

            Don’t forget to use a camera with a strong zoom feature.

            #smallpenisjoke

          • MB30SD

            Baaaaahahaahhahahahahaha… uh, ahem, I have it… and I will.

    • Shady

      No.

      • MB30SD

        liar

    • Irish Sweetness

      Nobody is dreamier than David Fales … that shaggy-haired cherub.

      • MB30SD

        hahahaha… isn’t he like 5’2″?

  • The GP

    So we’re going to debut Long at RT for the Pack game? Is that it? Or are we going Leno out there? And shooting Bushrod’s back up with enough epidural steroids to give a dead horse a boner, hoping he makes it?

    #SkunkSalad

    • Irish Sweetness

      It’s got to be Tayo. He did nothing wrong against Cleveland, and Jordan Mills is a Dallas Cowboy, so …. it had better not be Leno.

      • Waffle

        Irish. It was the 4th pre-season game. The 4th of 4. Tayo is not the starting RT of the Chicago Bears.

        • Irish Sweetness

          So who is ? Not Mills – he’s a Cowboy. Leno sucks. Tayo is the only one who has played well at RT and we have 3 tackles on the roster …. Bushrod is playing LT … which leaves …?

          • Waffle

            Long

          • Irish Sweetness

            Ahhhh…but I can’t see them starting the Guard they just got from Tampa.

            Don’t think Fox will say anything before gameday.

      • Tayo needs to start at RG first. Dude’s a brick house.
        Even then, maybe make his debut vs the Raiders.
        Same with Grassu

        • Irish Sweetness

          I though that initially – why not? 350lb at RG, switch Long out to RT where he can be better. Tayo looked all right at tackle though. Long keeps calling himself a guard.

  • The GP

    Cutler, Forte, Gould, McPhee, Rolle

    Captains named.

    • BearDown100393

      Long isn’t a captain?

      • BerwynBomber

        That is surprising as he seems the most natural leader on the team.
        Also surprised McPhee already earned the “C”.

        • NewBearInTown

          Notice that nobody on a rookie deal made captain. Not Long, not Fuller, not Bostic or Shea, not Jeffery. Not saying who should be swapped out, but it seems the team went with the older players for captains.

        • Waffle

          Gase said mcphee has brought attitude back to the team……

    • MB30SD

      let’s rolle?

    • Rolle. Token broken down vet who can’t play – Captain. (See, Garza)

      • Irish Sweetness

        If he sucks he’ll get replaced by Sherrod Martin quick smart. Ditto Bostic/McClellin.

        • Bostic is already replaced. Christian Jones.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I didn’t notice Christian during pre-season. That’s probably not a good thing when you’re an inside linebacker. If there’s one position where our starters are probably 2nd stringers right now, then it’s ILB. And one of them’s on the PS (Anderson).

  • Irish Sweetness
    • NewBearInTown

      That’s the real value in moving Long to tackle. Its much easier to find a FA guard than an FA tackle.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Wouldn’t they have played Tayo at guard then? It feels like Long is staying at guard and there’s only really two options at RT then … and one of them isn’t good. We do have a new tackle on the PS.

    • AlbertInTucson

      This guard was a UDFA and the Bears are his 3rd team in 3 seasons.

      The key info is not “Started all 16 games for TB” but “WAIVED by TB”.

      • Johnnywad

        “………..following a season in which they garnered the first pick in the draft.”

        Just polishing it up a bit Al.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Just a thought.

    Along with a shiny new defense and a running game … we could have been entering this season with Brandon Marshall, Alshon, and Kevin White as our top 3 WRs.

    I’d pass up a date with dreamboat David Fales for that scenario ….

    • NewBearInTown

      We all thought it would be awesome, but I doubt we would have been happy once the team lost a few. Marshall is a great wide receiver; that trade could only have had to do with the locker room.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Was never going to happen. They drafted White because they unloaded Marshall.

      • Irish Sweetness

        This is true.

  • Cormonster

    So I stopped to meet a customer today here in Wisconsin wearing a Bears shirt and hat. She immediately starts in on me about being a Bears fan. Her son-in-law is the equipment manager for the Packers. We had a little back and forth, all in good fun.

    Then, as I’m walking back to my truck, a huge road construction worker yells to me, “how big of a Bears fan are you?” I responded I’ve been a huge fan since Walter Payton joined the league. As I walked towards him, he replied, “Are you as big a fan as this?” He pulled up his shirt sleeve, and on his huge bicep he had a big tattoo of the Bears “C” with the number 34 inside and Sweetness in big letters underneath. Props to that guy.

    Fuck the Packers!

    • MB30SD

      boom!

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