311 Comments

The Joe Anderson Boner

| July 14th, 2014

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I call it The Joe Anderson Boner.

“What is The Joe Anderson Boner?” you ask. Well, I shall tell you now. The Joe Anderson Boner is the yearly occurrence in the pants of Bears fans caused by the over-hyping of meaningless performances in the summer leading up to the NFL season. It might be the result of a few Larry Mayer Tweets that resemble something like, “The player who really jumped off the field in Bourbonnais today was Joe Anderson” or a 7 catch, 110 yard receiving performance in the second half of a preseason contest wherein Joe Anderson is being covered by someone of the skill equivalent to Loni Anderson.

This is not idiosyncratic to Bears fans, mind you. Every team has their summer boners. My brother Jon, a diehard New York Jets fan, once made a tee shirt that said “Kellen is the Answer” due to the boner-inducing camp performances of Kellen Clemens.

And boners are the perfect analogy for what are they but the physical manifestation of a man’s desire for sexual pleasure. NFL fans wait longer than any other sport fan in the world from the end of Season A to the beginning of Season B. And as opposed to baseball, basketball and hockey they only have (for the most part) 16-18 one-off experiences. For eight months they are jonesing for another snap, kickoff return, touchdown catch. Look at the ratings on NFL Network when free agency opens, the hoopla surrounding the now interminably long draft process and the ridiculous amount of discussion about which team will appear on Hard Knocks – a boiler plate of monotony, predictability and just general crappiness. (How many times do we need to meet the undersized white wide receiver with literally zero chance of making the roster?)

NFL fans don’t care what the football is. They just want the football. So every event witnessed in their team’s colors is important and every word from their organization’s leadership is gospel even when history and data – presented clearly to fans each summer – suggests the polar opposite.

This year there are many candidates for The Joe Anderson Boner in Bourbonnais. Brock Vereen will be heavily dissected at the safety position. Shea McClellin will inevitably have a terrific summer as he’s going to see a great deal of action against opposing twos and threes. Take your pick from the young receivers invited: Terrence Tollver, Chris Williams or Josh Bellamy. Chances are one will have fans arguing he’s the next Willie Gault by mid-August.

I’ve tried to warn against these overreactions for years but now I understand they are uncontrollable physical reactions based upon desire and any attempt to deny the undeniable would be an exercise in insanity. There is only one way to relieve The Joe Anderson Boner: submerge it into the real football season. Once it feels the pleasure of that initial September kickoff two months of teasing are easily forgotten.

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  • MB30SD

    Sheeesh, this thing on?

    And which one of you first had the Joe Anderson boner? Was it Yonny?

    • I think a few of us did. For me it started when he REJECTED more money to go to the PHI to stay with the Bears even though nothing was guaranteed. I still wouldn’t mind him esp since he played like an animal on specials.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I’d take him now – who’s our slot receiver since Earl left?

    • For your consideration….

      lol, sorry, I liked the thought of a complete animal on specials that had balls of steel and actually wanted to go over the middle at 6’1 210…and to pay that same man the equivalent of minimum wage to leave more money for big signings.
      We must remember the absolute fucking garbage the Bears had trotted out to the field previously. Tiny white midgets, pussy ass has beens, pussy ass tight ends (kellen i’m talking to you) , scrappy arena league DB’s, Canadian lacrosse players, etc.
      Anderson was fucking Boldin compared to those jokers.

      • MB30SD

        How dare you use my man-crushes’ name in vain… vein…. vane.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Sanzy is doing okay elsewhere isn’t he?

  • MB30SD

    “There is only one way to relieve The Joe Anderson Boner: submerge it into the real football season. Once it feels the pleasure of that initial September kickoff two months of teasing are easily forgotten.”

    I think “plunge” would have been the better verb Jeff.

  • MB30SD

    This isn’t a race issue… the truth of the biz is that it’s really an overweight, unattractive, and somewhat annoying issue (yes, the last one’s subjective).

    As harsh as that is, it’s a business that hinges on a demographic that puts a lot of weight (no pun) on the physical form. If pam oliver was a smoking hot, young black girl (or asian, or latina, etc…) I don’t think there would have been any moves made. Sucks for her, but every vet has his/her day at the gallows. No?

    http://www.si.com/nfl/2014/07/14/pam-oliver-erin-andrews-fox

    • MB30SD

      PS. I don’t find Erin Andrews that hot. She’s def attractive, but I, personally, don’t get all the hoopla.

      • DaBearsBlog

        It is a silly, vanity position. Sideline reporters are by and large useless in the NFL. They report injury stuff that could very easily be communicated to the guys in the booth. They do silly interviews with coaches, who abhor them and reveal nothing. They are always going to err on the side of the more attractive because they know 90% of the viewers are guys and guys prefer attractive women on TV to unattractive.

        • MB30SD

          exactly.

        • True. Tony Sirgusa is easy on the eyes.

          • CanadaBear

            Butch is back! Yeah!

          • Futbol is over. I can smell the freshly cut grass of hell week once more…

          • i once pooped in his toilet. j.taylor and primetime, too.

          • MB30SD

            but at least he knows the game. I’m with jeff… the eye candy is totally superfluous and annoying… especially when it’s fat, not attractive, and middle aged. too much?

          • Another possibility to liven up sideline reporting (besides lingerie models), maybe a comedian, someone like Dennis Miller, but not Dennis Miller. Someone who’s funny but knows his shit. For the Bears, Ashton Kutcher seems like he would be fun on the sidelines (and naturally, Bill Murray, and Anthony Adams would be cool comedy relief).

            Or, maybe players who JUST retired, who still have their pulse on the game. Someone like Lach, but you know, with personality. Ex-players who went to numerous PBs and can ask real questions.

          • SC Dave

            AA would be cool

          • Irish Sweetness

            Dennis Miller used to be a comedian, like Jackie Mason. Now he’s a sucker of Satan’s cock. Love to see Bill but he has too much self-respect and he’s very busy these days crashing people’s stag parties.

          • bearsfantillend

            I say they put a team fan on the sideline. you know someone that give his left foot for the team. I can see it now the new sideline reporter for the Bears would be anyone from DaBlog.

            Asking Trestman half time questions

            “Does Conte know what the fuck he is doing?” or

            “Hey Coach, Why is Conte wiping that hole in the ground with toilet paper? Oh jesus, FUCK!!! he thinks its his ass, thats can’t be good, any explanation Coach?” or

            “Coach, why did you call timeout 45 seconds into the game?” Trestmans answer “Well, it turns out that Conte lost his jock strap on a pump fake and we had to call time out so he could find it.”

          • SC Dave

            Woot!

    • “After meeting with her bosses, Oliver spoke with her agent, Rick Ramage.”

      Seriously, there’s a dude out there named “Rick Ramage”? Wow. Got a new porn name. It combines Damage and Ram – and Rick sounds like, well you, know…(Richard, which can be shortened to…)

    • Irish Sweetness

      Pam Oliver was the best thing in non-football-playing-stuff in the NFL … and I’ve just seen the photo of her on SI. Oh dear. It’s the South Park Sally Struthers. Couldn’t they have found a new nubian Queen?

      • MB30SD

        Yep

    • Irish Sweetness

      If they wanted to be clear on the race thing, why didn’t they put a smokin hit young Nubian in there instead of the Fraulein ?

  • MB30SD
    • Irish Sweetness

      Feet! Ewwwww!

      • Sactowns#1

        Tarantino would love it!

  • CanadaBear

    Johnny, I’m pretty sure this a direct shot over your bow. I agree with Jeff but if we aren’t supposed to get excited over some of the spare parts it makes for a long offseason.

  • Joe Anderson Boner Nominees…

    1. Jordan Lynch. You see, jabrones like other jabrones, and Lynch is a local jabrones. Always helps to be a white RB (we’ll call it the great white hope syndrome, or the Peyton Hillis syndrome), and Lynch also happens to be FB/TE (see Gronk) AND QB. If he somehow makes the team and flashes, there will be more than a few jabrones who will purchase the jersey immediately.

    2. Sutton. We’re so starved at Dline that I think we’re making 6s into 9s based on a curve/curb or beer googles at 1:59am. Sutton no doubt will look good in preseason, and this will make us almost forget about the 5.4yds per carry rbs had against the beloved last year.

    • MB30SD

      I think sutton is on the boarder here…. He’s no anderson or lynch… the latter is a waaaaaay longshot to be even playing in the NFL anywhere after preseason.

      Sutton, if he returns to 2012 form, looks to be the second coming of the real tommy harris (not the badly disappointing butter variety). I think maybe vereen fits this mold a bit more since he was taken so late and we’re so starved for any talent at the spot.

      • The fact that you’re even mentioning third rounder Sutton with Tharris is proof enough. Jabrone. Though true, Vereen fits the mold more since the collective Jungian will of Bearsdom can’t get rid of the image of Conte getting burned in that pack game.

        • MB30SD

          come on, can’t apply generalities to every situmitashun.

          If dude would have come out in ’12, he would have been rd 1 material. he put on a sheiteload of weight at his coach’s behest. We’ll see. He looks like a badass to me. Just doesn’t seem to fit the definition you gave. He’s much more blue chip in my mind… the other two will either be huge surprises, or busts.

          • SC Dave

            Or, guys you might have to wait for, like (i fucking hope) Shea.

          • MB30SD

            yep, we shall see dave. 3rd year, 3rd try.

            3rd time’s a charm?

            Meeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh…..

          • SC Dave

            Seriously,let’s hope for it. It only helps Da Team

          • MB30SD

            I’ll leave the hoping to you my maings. I personally believe in darwinism.

            He don’t look like a survivor to me. and in my estimation he’s taking up a roster spot that should be filled with someone actually good. He’s had long enough to prove he’s worth a shit. but that’s me. (i.e., he’s hurting d team)

          • CanadaBear

            I think PE will do the right thing with the roster this year. If Shea isn’t cutting, C-Ya. I hope he kills it this year. Just not counting on it.

          • MB30SD

            agree

  • For your consideration….

    lol, Hughes you’re such a dick.

    • SC Dave

      And so we keep coming back!

  • For your consideration….

    for the record our WR’s in 2011 were
    Bennett
    Hester
    MAX FUCKING KOMAR
    DANE FUCKING SANZENBACHER
    ROY FUCKING WILLIAMS
    That complete void of anything remotely feeling like an NFL WR corps directly resulted in Anderson boners being sprouted. I’ll take a 6’1 210 animal with balls over some tiny white pussy WR or alligator armed has been coward any day of the week.

    • NewBearInTown

      But he had that cool first down dance…

    • This thread should be re-named “Da Sanzen-Shizer”

      • Cormonster

        I am curious to see how Abbrederis does with GB. He was awesome at Wisconsin. He was a sneaky deep threat in college. Always found a way to get wide open.

        • MB30SD

          The key phrase there is ‘in college’

          …hopefully

          • Cormonster

            White, yes. He came to WI for track and QB. Quit track, Switched to reciever and became Russell Wilson’s main target. He had no supporting cast as a junior or senior, yet still made All Big Ten both years. Packers fans were ecstatic about the pick. We shall see. He is only about 180, but he has that twitch to get open fast. He has that elite separation ability to be a good pro, especially with Rodgers throwing the ball.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Love to see that 180 meet Adrian Wilson’s 6’3 230 … and Cracker v A-Rod. Can’t wait.

  • I’m very curious who will win the 2nd QB spot. Jimmy Clausen might make a serious push.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Like the last turd in a constipated mouse …. FML.

  • For your consideration….

    “Take your pick from the young receivers invited: Terrence Tollver, Chris Williams or Josh Bellamy. Chances are one will have fans arguing he’s the next Willie Gault by mid-August.”

    Um, nope, we have the best WR tandem in the league, one of the best pass catching TE’s in the league and a real O line. A far cry from 2009 through 2012.
    The boners will be sprouted over the safety position, McClellin at LB and the D line because S, LB and DL were the exact reasons why were didn’t go to the playoffs and beyond.

    • Yeah, and as much love as Wilson might get, I’d be very surprised if he hits 500 yds this season (unless inj happens). Marshall, Alshon, Forte will get theirs, Bennett too. I also have a feeling we’re gong to be more run heavy for two reasons: our D won’t totally blow, thus less shoot outs. 2. We drafted a HB for that very reason (meaning more Ebron packages).

      I actually hope we get Bennett more involved. He was balling before he got knicked up last season.

      • For your consideration….

        Eben Britton packages make me sick. I want Marshall, Alshon, Forte, Unicorn and Wilson out there at all times, especially in the red zone. THE FUCKING RED ZONE TRESTMAN!!!!

        • FB Dive from the 1. Ron Turner tested, Lovie Smith approved.

          • MB30SD

            uuuugggghhhhhgggggg… why would you do that to us?! Now I need to go meditate for a while. grumble grumble

        • I like the idea of the Britton package (that’s what she said), but Forte isn’t exactly Marshawn Lynch in the power department.

          You also have more faith in Cutty throwing it in tight windows. He’s improved, but he’s not at Brees-ian level yet. Also, more 3 wide out sets = more hits on Cutty, and given his injury history…

          That’s why I wanted a power-back in the draft, but I would like to see what this new kid does at HB in the Ebron package (not to mention Ford).

          • NewBearInTown

            Don’t forget we gave an extension to Fiametta. He’s a solid blocker and the Marshall/Jeffery/Bennett trio threat is pretty scary for passes by itself.

          • That’s why the Britton package can work. As long as Marshall and Alshon are both out there, the defense can’t quite sell out on the run without giving a one-on-one to one of them. And Cutty is a great play-action/bootlegger with a canon and NO qualms about going jericho, so the safeties have to respect that.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Ford is about the same weight as Matt but he’s four inches shorter. Carey is a power back for me. Matty’s a bit upright at 6’2. Looking forward to seeing Carey this season. Not long now!

          • Watching Carey’s tape, he strikes me more as a plodder who’s well rounded with blocking, catching. He sorta squeezes through the hole and displays good vision, but for me lacks long speed, explosion or violence. He runs determined though, I’ll give him that. Hopefully he can become like Gore for us.

          • Cormonster

            The Giants under Parcells won 2 SB with plodding backs who only averaged about 3.5 yards a carry. They just “matriculated” down the field. Joe Morris? and some other dude. He also turned Curtis Martin into the same mold. Just move the chains.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Yes, Carey will be our Joe Morris. That’s all they had. Morris and Bavaro, Simms, and great linebackers.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I’m rooting for the bearded ones this season. Eben and BDLP.

          BTW – why is Marquess still listed at 184 and Willie Young is listed at 251 on CB.COM? Both are no use to anybody at those weights.

      • CanadaBear

        I know I’ve been chugging the kool-aid on Wilson but I’m way more optimistic than that. I’m thinking 800 yds. If they have the 3 WR’s, Bennett and Forte on the field the D has to be on their heels. Forte is the shortest of the bunch at 6’2″. Cutty and Trest both keep talking about Jay processing the O faster this year. If the D tries to blitz when we have those 5 on the field, man it’s buyer beware. Could be a sack or a TD. Probably the latter.

    • SC Dave

      To say nothing of perhaps the biggest receiving threat in the backfield in bears history

      • MB30SD

        tony fiametta?

    • Irish Sweetness

      I don’t get all the hoopla over the 5th target for Cutty. I doubt even Cutty gives a toss who it is. It’s the Cutty and Beast bromance and he has eyes for no-one else.

  • Late to the party. Just saw Erin Andrews replaced Pam Oliver. What, Fox likes blonde eye-candy? Nooooo (sarcasm off). I also don’t think it’s a race thing. Just, ya know, chicks get old and haggard pretty fast. Over/under on Irish Nubian rant?

    If I were Fox, I would switch the sideline reporter every week. Just scour the country for hot young “communication majors” or team up with FHM.

    And on that note, I might have found the greatest GIF of all time (NSFW?) I would start with these two.

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1349652562_81139596.gif

    • MB30SD

      Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • SC Dave

      I can only imagine your interview process, screening dozens of aspiring lasses every week.

      Need any help with thar?

      • It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

        Sure. Need “objective” assistance.

  • Two plays which we always make me cringe.

    1. Alshon motion/reverse. It SEEMS like it shoudn’t, but sometimes it does. Still, every time Alshon goes in motion, I mutter, “Don’t fucking do it, Trestman.”

    2. Miss-direction pitch out to Forte. Another, “UGH” play. And for some reason, Trestman only runs this play on the most important downs.

    3. Britton package (to a lesser extent). This is mainly because Forte is not a power-back, but maybe I’m miss-remembering. Data, success rate on the Britton package (bonus points: which team had the most success running out of the “jumbo” package).

    • MB30SD

      I remember data providing…. well, data… that said it got really good yardage per down. Not sure about the redzone tho… seems like that shit never worked in the redzone.

      Oh, and I love the little quick pitch out to the back. one of my favorite plays in fb… for some weird reason. Just like the way it looks I guess (and it works a lot of the time… warning: anecdotal data, based solely on my spotty memory of last season)

    • CanadaBear

      Honestly the first two almost always gained yardage. Earlier in the season it seemed like 15-20 yds/play and by the end of the year, half that. #3 always made me crazy.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Rather see Paea as the FB (he’s about 6’1??), with the ball going to either Ford or Carey … or bring back the good old days and just hand it to the big guy.

    • Jokey

      What’s the Britton package?

  • MB30SD

    Canada… Cav, then Froomie, now conti.

    Holy shit. brutal tour so far maings. VN looked strong today huh?

    • CanadaBear

      I saw that this morning but didn’t want to give anything away for the other poster. The riders that saw it said Bertie was taking an unnecessary chance on a very shitty rd. Hit a pothole and did an endo. Fell down again a little further down the road. Fuck me. I was pulling for Bertie but I really like Nibali, too. Just can’t warm up to Froome. I think it’s due to his penchant for staring at the output of his power meter and rarely taking any chances. Don’t hate him, just not a fan.

      • MB30SD

        I like him cause he was raised in Kenya and basically has a SA accent. Rainbow nation baby.

        Meh, then don’t read the blog. : (

        Btw, how beautiful is the french countryside? My god man.

        • CanadaBear

          I thought you might like Froome because of the African connection. I never wish any bad luck on him or anything like that. Just dislike his riding tactics and lack of panache.

          On the other point, I’m such a relentless people pleaser I just wait til later.

          • MB30SD

            hahahaha… fair enough.

            Gotta like the story around an i-talian winning it.

          • CanadaBear

            Oh yeah. Last year’s Giro was insane. Not only the French countryside but Italy and Spain, too. Not to mention I watched the Tour de Suisse this year and Switzerland was stunning. I find beauty in almost any landscape. Cityscapes, not so much.

          • SC Dave

            One can imagine the beautry of swiss landscapes. Or Austria for that matter.

          • CanadaBear

            Exactly. I’ve always thought the Iowa countryside was beautiful so I’m a pretty easy mark. I used to think the desert was pretty stark but once you’re there when it’s in bloom, holy crap!!!!!!

          • SC Dave

            There is infinite beauty around us if we only take the time to see.

          • MB30SD

            the hills are alive with the sound….

          • MB30SD

            agree.

            One of my best friends lives in Verbier. insane.

          • Sactowns#1

            PBS had an exelent documentary on Frederick Olmsted, the guy who designed central park and created a beautiful landscape where there was once a swamp.
            http://video.pbs.org/video/2365197253/

      • SC Dave

        I wish i could get into le tour, but ive mever ridden more tham 70 miles in a row, so i just don’t understand. ..

        • CanadaBear

          I think you have to be nuts about bicycles to start with and then get into racing. Most of the flat stages are boring as hell until the last 5 minutes. Then everyone goes faster and faster until they hit the line. When those guys hit the line they’re doing 40-45 mph. They are so close together, guys are constantly forcing their way through using shoulders and head butts. Needless to say road rash is a bad, bad thing (not to mention broken bones). Watching good descenders going down the mountains is a thing of beauty. Watching bad descenders is almost comical. Don’t feel bad if you don’t get it. Even my mother (bless her soul) used to tease me about it.

          • MB30SD

            I get the same thing when I tell people I love watching Tri’s on TV. they do a great job picking personal interest stories and peppering them throughout the race.

            Most of the races they do are ironmans or some of the really cool offroad Xtera races. Fun to watch, but it’s like a lot of stuff, if you’ve never actually done it yourself, it’s hard to get.

          • CanadaBear

            If you can’t relate to the sport, it’s tough to get into it. That’s why I never watch basketball. At 5’2″, no hops, no speed and not exactly Curly Neal with the ball, it’s a tough sell.

          • MB30SD

            Hahahaha… my brother’s UCLA rugby coach always used to say to the team before a game in his pep talk (paraphrasing):

            “Guys, just do your best. And always remember, we’re small… but we’re slow!

            Go get ’em!”

            Hahaha

          • Cormonster

            Was your brother in the college rugby final four back in 93 or 94?

          • MB30SD

            MAYBE 93. I think that was his senior year. He was a team captn his last two years

          • Cormonster

            One of my buddy’s stayed in school for an extra semester at WI just to play in the Final Four. I think they lost right away. Pretty sure it was spring of 1993.

          • MB30SD

            Nice. I went to a bunch of games and their coach tried to get me to transfer. He always tried to get me to go into the game… I was playing football up north and had zero desire to get my head kicked in right before spring 2-a-days every year. Was super fun watching the matches and partying with them after though.

            It’s a BRUTAL sport.

  • Shady

    Mmmmm. Yes. Nothing like a solid summer time Jo’ Bo’.

    • MB30SD

      Bo Jo?

      • I’m assuming that’s yiddish for “bongo jam”

        • MB30SD

          it’s yiddbonics for “blow me!”

          • i know.

          • SC Dave

            Yiddbonics… gotta love it. For the darkest complexioned tribesmen?

          • MB30SD

            sammy davis… beeeebe.

  • MB30SD

    Is it just me, or does that think kinda look like a vagina?

    http://www.si.com/college-football/2014/07/14/college-football-playoff-championship-trophy

    • CanadaBear

      All I’ll say is I think you’re stretching it.

      • MB30SD

        hahahaha… I always try!

        you do have to pardon me canada… it is summer after all.

      • Shady

        I see what you did there.

        • MB30SD

          get online right now you monkey

  • SC Dave

    Oh good god, do we have do the joe thing again?? Why not go back to benching Forte for some dude that’s never layed a real down?

    • MB30SD

      Ohhhh… I like fooooord. Worth a try?

      I keeed I keeeeeeeed

    • CanadaBear

      I’m thinking this thread will be a little more humorous than some of the ones you’re referring to.

      • SC Dave

        I hope so, my man. I hope so.

        • CanadaBear

          You know it’s just Irish being Irish. Gotta love him!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Benching Matt would be stupid, nobody said that. Trading a double ACL-MCL while he’s still worth something is another. If you drafted him in the second and got a first for him it’s a no-brainer. He’s a receiving threat more than a running back anyway. With the offense we have now though, I’d happily keep him, but a couple of years ago we needed more pieces and therefore more picks. We have a roster with depth at RB now. I like.

          • Cormonster

            The Bears struck gold with Forte. It’s rediculii to want to trade him, or even think about it. OK, I’m not even going to try to argue with you about this topic any more.

          • CanadaBear

            Irish you always use the straw man argument with Forte. Nobody is giving the Bears a 1st for Forte. RB’s can’t even get drafted in the first these days. As far as more of a receiver his avg stats for his 6 years are approx 1100 yds rushing and 500 yds receiving per year. Averaging 6 rushing TD’s and 2 passing TD’s per year. His avg per carry is 4.3 yds and per catch is 8.6 yds. Last year he scored 12 TD’s and his combined yardage was a little over 1700 yds.

          • Cormonster

            Forte had over 1900 yards last year. He was second in rushing behind Shady McCoy.

          • CanadaBear

            I got the stats from NFL.com. You’re right. He had a chance at 2000 last year. That makes the point just a little finer!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Like I said C-Bear, those times were different, we needed picks. Forte is the backfield weapon – he’s the man, and I’m down with that. The ONLY thing I’m worried about now is the continuation of Garza at Center. If we can bench him sooner rather than later then this thing goes interstellar.

          • CanadaBear

            I’m not disagreeing with you on Garza but unless DLP clearly out plays him, Garza’s starting. I watched the Carey highlights and he’s a tough bastard but his lack of speed really draws a crowd. Not sure how long he can last.

    • screw forte. trade him for a second round pick. he’s got a bad knee and will never be worth his contract. who does he think he is, asking for CJ2K money. CHRIS JOHNSON WILL NEVER BE STOPPED.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Who said that?

  • MB30SD

    GP… deeeum!!

    http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/tech/2014/07/11/orig-jag-bigger-stronger-faster-venom-gt.cnn.html

    Did you catch his ‘The Stig’ keychain… awesome.

  • Irish Sweetness

    The one guy you didn’t mention as being the JA Boner is the one people seem to be losing the run of themselves over. Nobody except me and GP has even mentioned Double-T or Chris Williams …. EVERYBODY is going apeshit on Marquess Wilson – a guy who has done NOTHING except go roid-crazy. Surely he gets caught out on that?

    Good vid on that American kid – what happened there, is it illegal to wear a Palestinian scarf in Israel? He has balls I’ll give him that – I wonder if they would have done that to Noam Chomsky?

    • MB30SD

      Inciting public unrest at a VERY tense ‘rally’ during a war (that israel didn’t start… as usual) is probably not safe or a good idea right?

      Oh, how was the nazi parade this year btw… did you go as himmler or the big man himself?

      …love you! ; )))

      • Irish Sweetness

        This year I was trying to get a Pol Pot tribute going, trying to re-create the whole Year Zero thing, but I think they were kind of edgy after last year. My ‘burning child’ effigy got pooh-poohed.

    • NewBearInTown

      Watch the video again, the Israeli police didn’t punch the kid once. They ordered him away from a rally, probably for his own safety as much as anything else, and he decided to be an idiot. He was being pushed because he wasn’t complying with orders to move.

      As to Palestinian scarfs in Israel. There are Arabs in the Israeli parliament. There are pro-Palestinian political parties that have seats in parliament as well. There are mosques, churches, ashrams, you name it all over Israeli controlled territory. Israel is as free a country as any other in the West.

      I posted above. You think that kid comes out the same way if he puts on a yamulka during a Hamas rally in Gaza city?

    • Big Mike

      Marques Wilson does not qualify for the JA Boner as he will without question be on the team.

      • my Wilson boner goes back all the way to the draft. Because this kid has the legit college production to think he can be good in the NFL.

        • Big Mike

          Which is my point. He’s not a training camp legend without a future. I think that’s the point of the JA Boner award. A guy that some fans get all heated up about because he wins the gym short olympic trials, or excels against 2s and 3s. Wilson is not that guy.

  • Ran across this about Carey. Not a highlight film, per se. More of a personality profile.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCrxP0v6PLo

  • For your consideration….

    Jeff, i’d be careful about getting involved in a fight that very few people truly know the ins and outs of. A fucking kid runs his mouth off at a obviously tense rally after 3 Israeli teens were found executed and a mini war has started and you get video snippets of what happens next. then it’s used as propaganda by a muslim website??? Tread carefully.

    • MB30SD

      I just watched the video. That was “one of the most terrible things I’ve ever seen.”?!?!?!

      Are you fucking serious Jeff?! It’s called inciting public unrest and resisting arrest. Why don’t you google that same shit in america and see how the cops handle it.

      That tweet was fucking inane. You’re smarter than that, I thought. SMH.

      Oh, and that kid is a fucking idiot.

      • NewBearInTown

        I tweeted Jeff a couple of times about that and he back pedaled. A few other facts:

        1) That videos is a few years old, I believe 2012. In fairness, both sides have supporters that like showing old footage whenever there is a flair-up, but you need to be careful about assuming the old footage is current.

        2) Jeff tweeted afterwards that he isn’t pro-Palestine. And this is another key point. The liberal media (*cough* New York Times) generate videos like that one and then says “boy its pretty bad over there, I just want peace.” Nobody ever shows the videos of Hamas terrorizing the countryside to say the same thing.

        3) As many have pointed out… if that was a Palestinian kid supporting Israel, he would have been lucky to be alive after standing that close to a rally.

        4) Most telling of all. I woke up this morning to news that a cease-fire has failed. Egypt, whose new government does not like Hamas at all, tried to broker a deal whereby both sides would stop firing and come to the table for peace talks. In what is called a “surprise move” (not sure why, it happens the same way every time), Israel said they would agree to peace despite Hamas not also agreeing.
        The deal was to stop fighting at 9:00 AM today (Israeli time). Hamas said “In times of war you don’t stop shooting without a deal in place” and proceeded to launch more than 30 rockets at Israeli civilian targets after the cease fire had started. Now there’s no more cease fire. Do you think that both sides are to blame for that?

        • Big Mike

          Medieval tribes with modern weapons. Fuck’em both. Atrocities all around.

          • MB30SD

            Interesting pov. Are your people Hatfields or mccoys?

          • Big Mike

            MB, I’m neither. I’m disgusted by revenge cultures, wrapped in religious fervor. There’s plenty of shame on both sides. There is no sense to be made of it. Whether it is Israeli’s and Palestinians, Shi’ites and Sunnis, Turks and Kurds, or Tea Party disciples and Occupy Now participants, extreme positions without the willingness to compromise to make progress are insane, illogical and not productive.

            My world is about getting shit done, with the least harm and the most gain for the most people, with a healthy, but hopefully not harmful dose of self interest. I believe in respecting my opponent and those I disagree with. Pretty simple basic stuff.

            My only absolute is I really hate losing to the Packers, and would be heartbroken, if my son or daughter dated, or attempted to marry a Packer fan.

          • NewBearInTown

            “Extreme positions without willingness to compromise.”

            You do realize where the rockets are being fired from right? Israel expelled its own people from places like Gush Katif (google it) unilaterally. They wanted to give Gaza to the Palestinians as part of a peace deal, but Hamas wouldn’t deal. So they gave the land without conditions in the hope that it might lead to peace.

            That land is now where the Palestinians are launching rockets.

            The two sides are not the same.

          • Big Mike

            Yes I do realize that Israel has taken the first steps and perhaps the second and third steps towards a problem solving oriented approach. I also realize that Hamas is an extremist faction with Palestine that has more or less hijacked the country. My point wasn’t about right or wrong, it was about my own feelings towards the whole mess. I shouldn’t say much more than that, because I really am not up to date.

          • NewBearInTown

            And again this is my point. People assume both sides are the same because they’re both fighting. This would be like someone saying “I hate the Americans and the Germans, they were both shooting during WW2.”

            Israel isn’t a nation of saints, but there is a big difference between the governments on each side of this thing.

          • MB30SD

            if you’re not jewish this is just more war noise. zero skin in the game and people are sick of hearing it when it doesn’t impact their daily lives (although a weak israel will certainly effect all of the free world) one bit. Meh, who cares, just arabs and jews fighting again.

            I was actually starting to type something out, but it’s pointless because mike’s pov is the prevailing one here and elsewhere, until it impacts him or americans are the ones kidnaped and executed without provocation. I get it.

            I will make one VERY important point, arabs are nowhere close to israelis in much of anything but a common lineage (kinda like all of us).

            Oh, and look on the bright side, mike’s post might have been very douchey, but at least he wasn’t tweeting out total propaganda like Jeff… that idea was just… the worst.

          • Big Mike

            I’m not as informed on the current state of this mess, as I began shutting it out a number of years ago, because the plot line and the outcome is always the same. Something happens, someone responds, back and forth, back and forth. Picture of idiots throwing rocks and tanks, pictures of grieving parents, pictures of angry villagers, leaders of both sides saying words, lip service given to compromise, a period of quiet, attempts at letting the adults drive the conversation, repeat process.

          • So the Palestinians are just pissed off for no reason, or are you saying that they’re as evil as the Nazis?

            I’m not sure how the two sides can come together RATIONALLY when both are fueled by IRRATIONAL opposing beliefs. The one thing they both agree on is “eye for an eye”. Seems like a cruel joke.

          • NewBearInTown

            The Israeli government is an rational as the American or Western European governments. They have free elections, they have control over their military, they have their share of violent criminals like any country, but they have a legal system that catches and prosecutes those criminals.

            The problem in the region is that Israel has signed multiple peace treaties. They honor those treaties, even when an election changes political parties in the government. You don’t have to agree with the Israeli perspective, but you can sit down with Israel (as the US has done) and work a deal. That is not true of the other side.

            The current flare up happened when three Israeli boys were killed. A Palestinian boy was killed afterward, and while the circumstances of that killing are in dispute (some think it was unrelated, but evidence suggests it was retaliatory), it was the Israeli legal system that made arrests of six persons of interest. The Palestinian government has done nothing to even attempt to arrest the two men who killed those boys. Instead, Palestinian terrorists began launching rockets at Israel.

            Palestinian rockets don’t discriminate between civilian and military targets. Israeli airstrikes have targeted rocket launch sites (and there are videos of this). There are videos of Hamas terrorists bringing children in close to their rocket sites to act as shields. Israel is very careful to try avoid civilian casualties, but is not always successful as in any war. Israel was willing to accept a cease fire a couple of days ago – Hamas rejected it.

            You can’t do a deal with terrorists. Hamas are terrorists that managed to get elected. That’s the bottom line.

        • Irish Sweetness

          If you’re not pro-Palestine doesn’t that mean you’re pro-Israel Jeff ? I get Jewish folk being pro-Israel … that’s understandable … but if you’re not Jewish and you’re pro-Israel … that’s a weird one.

          • MB30SD

            why’s that? without israel the middle east would be more of a fucking snake’s den then it already is. dude, what is with you?!?!?!?

          • Irish Sweetness

            The whole world is a snake’s den, man. It’s ALL fucked up. I’d love to find one of those Tahitian islands in the middle of nowhere to live out my days, but you just know that’s where they’re going to test their nukes.

      • Jeff has a way for dramatic superlatives, he does work in drama, after all.

        However, that video disturbs me as a HUMAN BEING. I’m neither a Jew nor Palestinian, and from what I saw in the vid, he ran his mouth. So what? Is being “Pro-Palestinian” (even if you’re Jewish/American) at a rally cause enough to be arrested? Is that the criteria? I’ve been to a few “protest” rallies, and some can get a little tense. Guys like him are a dime a dozen. Obviously protestors aren’t there to picnic. They have deep held beliefs and aren’t scared to voice them. However, most of the rallies I attended didn’t end in protestors getting arrested (the ones I went to, can’t speak to other ones).

        I want to know what the kid did wrong to be treated like that. It’s dehumanizing to be gagged and hauled away like a fucking pig for expressing your political beliefs, no matter what they are.

        I mean, over here the KKK and Neo-Nazis still have their little pep rallies and the cops treat them with more respect than the Israeli authorities treated that kid. What does that say?

        But I’ll withhold judgement until someone enlightens me as to what that kid did to deserve that.

        • MB30SD

          you can’t be serious dude.

          http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/23/pepper-spray-cop-uc-davis-compensation

          This shit happens all the time around the world (even after teams WIN sporting events) – just google a phrase about cops going overboard at protests.

          This fuckhead 100% resisted and became combative when asked to stop inciting unrest – he was causing a potentially very dangerous situation. And this is a place where people shoot and launch rockets at each other, it wasn’t an earthday sit-in.

          Kinda surprised at this post from you… and not because of the players involved.

          • I KNOW our cops start clubbing protestors, and I’m against that too. I think Corm and I and a few others don’t like the “militarization of the police” trend in the U.S. But as they say, two wrongs don’t make a right.

            That’s what I want to know. HOW was he inciting unrest? It’s a fucking rally, by it’s very definition it’s tense and ‘unrestful’. I mean, was he spitting at the police? Was he getting molatav cocktails ready? How was he inciting unrest? If Israeli has “speech crimes” on the books, then so be it. But if they don’t, I want to know what he did wrong?

            The rest is after the fact. You wouldn’t be pissed if another grown man, for no apparent reason, gripped your neck and tried to take you down? I don’t think I would be all too happy, or passive either.

          • MB30SD

            to me it’s simple. This kid’s action had the potential to cause a blow up because of the nature of what he was wearing and saying. MUCH more offensive than waving a palestinian flag with the others.

            It was a personal call, and I might have made the same one. I think it was the right call by the cops personally. How would you have felt if his actions would have cause a fight or gunfight to break out and innocents were killed? Would that be good with you?

            As a cop trying to keep a powder keg from exploding where do you draw the line? Where do you make that judgement call where you think ‘shit, this is going to cause a ton of anger and draw a lot of attention’? If he didn’t resist and they kept doing what they were doing I would be 100% with you… but he fought from start to finish and he got exactly what he deserved. In other countries he probably would have gotten a few punched and/or kicks to the head at best.

            Maybe it was a bit much, but maybe they stopped all hell from breaking loose. I kept expecting the guy watching right behind him to just knock him the fuck out…

          • “It was a personal call”, see, that’s the problem. They’re officers. They should follow the law. I’m not an expert in Israeli law, but I’m assuming they have free speech and right to assemble peacefully. Maybe I’m thinking like an American too much. Americans go dressed in FULL nazis unis to rallies, and talk about eradicating the jews and overthrowing the government, while the police have a pizza and talk about football a few feet away.

            I know shit is more tense in Israel right now (more like the U.S. during the 60s), but I mean, this kid wasn’t exactly Che Guevera or Mussolini. So now Jews/Americans can’t dress like Palestinians or voice pro-Palestinian arguments at rallies, is that the precedent? Is that the same as yelling fire in a theatre? Seems a bit Big Bro to me.

          • MB30SD

            it is what it is… there were no laws broken, but the cop made a judgment call like cops all over the world are asked to do every single day.

            Did you click the link I posted above? That was at UCDavis in norcal. They were SEATED WITH ARMS LOCKED and the po po fucking pepper sprayed them in the face dude.

            We’re talking about a rally in a country that’s at war. Gotta do what you gotta do for the safety of the masses, not some ignorant little self righteous dipshit. You and jeff feel like it’s one of the worst things you’ve ever seen, I feel like he didn’t get roughed up enough for being a moron. Darwin. tomato tomahto

          • I didn’t say it’s one of the worst things ever – that’s Jeffian hyperbole. I did say it disturbs me as a human being, just as the Brits clubbing Indians disturbs me, just as the Po-po fire hosing african americans disturbs me, just as those hippies getting peppered disturbs me…all were for the sake of “security” and protecting the status quo too.

            I won’t pretend to be a smug middle eastern expert. There’s enough of those pundits to go around, but in this particular instance, I didn’t see any wrong doing by the activist. I mean, he might be a little naive and ignorant, but who isn’t at that age? Doesn’t mean he deserved what he got, and only makes the Israeli government look like authoritarian dick heads. Stuff like that begins to turn around public opinion, and if U.S. Public opinion ever turns against Israel, they’re proper fucked.

          • MB30SD

            it already has… look at you look at mike’s post.

            My $.02 is that you probably tend to get a little grumpy or authoritarian when fucking terrorists kidnap and execute your innocent citizens without provocation, or walk into a crowded coffee shop and suicide bomb it, or randomly shell civilian targets without provocation.

            I love this shit… absurd. If this was america and mexico did what the fucking palestinians do to israel, can you even fucking imagine.

            So you’ll fucking excuse me if I find your POV naive, pandering, and sorry to say, idiotic.

            Btw, you’re a smart guy so I’ll just assume you’ve done your research about the war and how the arab world used the palestinians and then cast them aside and the ONLY people who’d give them land was israel. Anyway, I’m wasting my breath.

            SMFH

          • Who am I pandering to, the huge Palestinian Bear fans? I’m not exactly running for office.
            If Israel wants to gag and beat dissenters, so be it. That’s on their conscience, not mine. Doesn’t mean when I see it that I have to like it.

            And I’m not apologizing for the Palestinian tactics, but we have to ask WHY they’re blowing themselves up?

            If you say, “They’re just animals.” Well, another race around 1938 concluded the same about another race.

            Just sayin.

          • MB30SD

            Why are they blowing themselves up? Because they are fucking useless and totally incapable of policing their own population that’s used as a political ragdoll by extremist factions. Because they have zero leadership even though they are given much more than the americans ever gave the indians.

            Also, can you please get me the numbers of how many jews killed german civilians before hitler decided he didn’t like jews?

            That’s a moronic example. Sorry maing. Let’s just agree to disagree here. I’ll still text you boobie pics even though you’re a Hamas sympathizer.

          • I’m a Hamas sympathizer because I think that kid had a right to voice his opinion at a rally? Talk about Jeffian either-ors. But I understand, you’re Jewish, if only culturally Jewish, so it’ll be nigh impossible to view the issue objectively. Like I said, I’m neither Jewish nor Palestinian, so that’s how the vid looks through my eyes. Doesn’t mean I think Israel should be overthrown, or that the media is run by Jews, or that there’s a Zionist plot to take over the world.

            I believe in free speech and right to assemble PEACEFULLY. Call me crazy.

          • MB30SD

            you craaaazy.

            And you’re personally attacking me because i’m ‘only’ ‘culturally’ jewish? Really? I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but I don’t know you and don’t really give a rat’s ass to boot

            And no, I have the POV because I don’t like idiots. That kid is an obnoxious self righteous little twit who in 5 or 10 years will look back with total and utter embarrassment that he did something so dumb and dangerous.

          • I’m not attacking you for being culturally Jewish. You yourself said you’re culturally Jewish, as opposed to, you know, Orthodox Jew like NB. And I think I’ve already admitted that I’m more “culturally catholic” than dogmatic. But I realized a long time ago that the Jewish-Palenstinian teams are set, like the Montagues-Capulets, and it’s rare for either side to “cross over”, though I do find that more and more Jews are taking a less militant view on the Palestinian issue.

            We are just going to have to agree to disagree. You see a ranter possibly inciting riot.

            I see a young student who took too many political science classes getting gagged and hauled away like a pig by a police force.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Fkn religion. Division and hatred is all it generates. Just like flags and patriotism. All I got left from a catholic upbringing is my foreskin and my guilt. Just read that the priesthood is dying a death in Ireland. Good.

            See what it does? One re-tweet, and a blog in good-standing is up-in-arms.

            Religion … and Twitter. Fuckem.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Did that kid go over there specifically to wear a PLO scarf in Israel and stir shit up? Please tell me he was on Erasmus or something ….

            Can we get back to the Greg Olsen boner now …. oh, I meant Joe Anderson …

          • MB30SD

            seriously, this shit hurt my head today.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Yup, it’s wrong. Politics gets by on the blog, though I see lib v whatever stuff on here and folk getting up on each other over that … but religion and the Israel-thing doesn’t go down too well. Football, tits and little green men is where it’s at.

          • MB30SD

            2 outta 3 ain’t bad. hahahaha

          • Irish Sweetness

            Okay, okay ….. but when I finally see one you guys will have to listen up and bow down to the mother of dragons.

            Cos I bet it’ll be a chick … and she’ll want me, carnally.

          • MB30SD

            I hope so mainj

          • CanadaBear

            I hope she has some nubian blood or else it might be like pushing a rope uphill.

          • johnnywad

            I gave up paying attention a long time ago as the problem seems unsolvable to me short of a very radical and violent approach. That said, I’m a bottom line guy and its easy to pick sides here. One side is launching 25, 30, 50, whatever the number is, into civilian areas without warning. The other is sending mass emails, texts, phone calls and leaflets into enemy territory saying basically, ‘Hey, I’m sorry but there are a handful of assholes launching rockets at us from your neighborhood and we have to come in and do something to try and stop it. Please leave the area for your safety and we’ll let you know when the coast is clear.”. Like I said, easy to pick sides

          • SC Dave

            Bingo. Fucking bingo.

            Is it time to repost Nekama’s Troll Hammer?

          • MB30SD

            please do dave, please do.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Since when does public opinion affect U.S. foreign policy? The shadow government doesn’t give a tuppenny fuck what the sheep in the street think. Nobody outside SA openly supported apartheid when it was going on, but because the USA support Israel, it’s okay to let it happen in Gaza. Whenever the U.S. support something, the other side are always terrorists. I’m not a Hamas sympathizer at all, but what’s happening in Palestine IS apartheid any which way it’s diced up. Can’t call Hamas terrorists without calling Israelis the same thing.

          • MB30SD

            bullshit, but again a losing fight on a blog.

        • Oh, and for you graphic novel guys, here’s a few on the Jewish/Palestinian issue. I haven’t read all of them, but I did read “Waltzing with Bashir” in which an ex-Israeli soldier ponders if what they did at the massacre at Shaba and Shatila is any better than what the Nazis did. It was a well written graphic novel, no matter what your beliefs are.

          http://www.michiganquarterlyreview.com/2014/06/the-middle-east-through-graphic-novels/

        • SC Dave

          KKK and neo-Nazi skinheads in America don’t blow themselves up on buses with children and crippled grandparents to bask in the glory of their deity. Guilt by association?

          • Irish Sweetness

            I doubt somebody in the KKK could wire a plug.

  • John Oliver is fast becoming the best show around…Income inequality, anyone?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfgSEwjAeno

    • MB30SD

      he is 100% the best right now. dude is the shit. His writers are the shit too.

    • Big Mike

      He’s awesome. You can get an Amen…

    • NewBearInTown

      Oliver is great and there’s a lot of truth in what he says. I only wish the writers for all sides of these debates were equally talented.

      • When one side attracts the brightest minds, maybe THAT side is on to something?

        • NewBearInTown

          Only the brightest entertainment minds.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Ha, that would be the Jewish nation, Butch! Interesting. 25% of all scientific nobel winners are Jewish. Time to dump the Shiksas and lop that old foreskin off?

    • Irish Sweetness

      I ‘discovered’ him last week. Good stuff.

  • Big Mike

    Wait, where are the soccer updates, movie reviews, car porn etc. Am I on a blog about the Bears.. whoa..

    • Shady

      9 days.

      • Irish Sweetness

        First game! PS ! I forgot PS. Wow. I can smell the ‘roids.

  • OH, would you look at that…just starting to welcome my “Da Bears Blog Boner”….it’s almost half staff!

  • MB30SD

    dude, wtf is it with these guys?!?!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFSnOvojJzg

    • Irish Sweetness

      When under pressure ….. hoof it up in the air … like a girl.

  • MB30SD
    • Irish Sweetness

      I respected Jesse … and then I saw that.

      • MB30SD

        It’s all a show maing. Tea – atrix and all that

  • For your consideration….

    I thought I had beaten the system. I had priced out 10 scenarios on Bovada where I would bet 10.00 on each prop bet (like the Packers making the playoffs, the Bears winning 9 games or more, the Ravens making the playoffs, etc) then bet a couple grand on the 10 bet parlay. The 2,000 bet would have netted something like 115,000
    The system wouldn’t allow me to do it. I called and asked why. The guy was pretty honest. “Because you’d have an excellent chance of winning and we’d go out of business because everyone would do it.”

    • And THAT is why I don’t gamble against casinos.
      I mean, they don’t even allow you to count cards. Basically, “If you’re too smart or clever, you’re banned from gambling.”

      • Cormonster

        A good college friend got banned from black jack in Vegas.

        • Yeah, and that’s why they create spreads. I read a book that said that statistically speaking, black jack and craps give you like a 49% chance of winning, and if you know what you’re doing, probably win more than you lose.

          Poker if you play against other players.

      • Irish Sweetness

        If you win on a regular basis with a bookie in Ireland, they can cut you off. You’re a liability.

  • For your consideration….

    Can’t get this out of my head for some reason:

    http://sports.yahoo.com/news/nfl-camp-preview-packers-hit-170243488–nfl.html

    I’m not even concerned about the Packers offense this year. Believe it or not, I think the Packers D is going to do serious damage…and you know Peppers is going to try to cheap shot Cutty as a fuck you to the Bears.
    Mike Neal, Peppers, Perry and Matthews are some serious beasts on the outside.

    • NewBearInTown

      Bears and Packers will both be good this year. I could give reasons why we’re better, but the bottom line is both teams will field strong rosters this season coached by solid, returning coaching staffs. That’s exactly the way a rivalry should be – if we win the division we’ll have earned it.

      • I don’t trust the Pack D, and apparently, many Packer fans don’t either. They think it’s the D coach, not the talent, and they might be right. No matter how much talent they collect on that side of the ball, it just never seems to come together.

        They also seem perennially ravaged by injuries.

        It’ll come down to one or two key drives in both games, as always.

        • For your consideration….

          I want that fucking ball out of Cutlers hands quickly against the Pack and Lions. Two teams with nothing to lose and everything to gain by putting Cutler down. They won’t be able to do it with him healthy so they’ll try to injure him. GB knows this because of what happened last year. The Bears, with even an average D, would have fucking stomped the Pack in that last game. Stomped.

          • MB30SD

            COOOOONTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

          • For your consideration….

            that last drive was like 94 fucking yards and the Packers converted 4 3rd downs and 3 4th downs. The odds of that happening are ludicrous. Our D was that shity.

          • That’s why we brought in Allen.

            Pepp couldn’t make a play. Maybe Allen can on those crucial downs.
            Or Sutton, or Houston, or any of the new dudes. Fuck. Someone, make a play! That’s why they’re called “play-makers!” We need one of those.

    • Pepp will bring his “A” game vs Bears. I told the Packer trolls that Pepp will give them two games this season, and nothing more, but unfortunately those two games might be vs us.

      However, we got a gigantic bouncer named “Long” now, and I don’t think he’s gonna let anyone get a cheap shot at Cutty without going apeshit.

      I read that the Pack are going to try to get off like 75 plays a game on O a-la Peyton/Eagles. Just a fast no huddle type tempo to keep the “base D” on the field. I wonder how much of that is true though.

      It could also mean more nickle base packages for us, which means Fuller will become all that more pivotal.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Pep’s A game is like his old ‘C’ game. Not worried. Not about Pep.

        Somebody knocking Cutty’s head off the ground, that’s something else. I’ll almost be waiting for it to happen so I can stare at Phil as I drum my fingers on the table. Who’s up, Phil?

    • Peanut FTW

      Not trying to be overly contrary but, Peppers is not Peppers anymore, look at his last year with us, that’s not him dogging in all season; that is him having a tough time finding a new way to play. Perry, could be cut or on IR…. Mike Neal is a nobody with a 5 sack season high for his career, and Matthews is coming off a multiple injury season. I mean Clay will more than likely be good and as you said Pep will probably have some extra stuff for our 2 games but the rest of that front seven is cobbled together. Detroit and Minnesota’s DTs alone make me more afraid of their front 7 and I don’t think I could name one of their linebackers.

      • Pepp can’t be Pepp for an entire season anymore. This is true. That’s what happens when you play against double-teams for a decade plus.

        But Pepp can be Pepp for 2-3 games a season, and those games will probably come against us.

        • that’s fine. let him be pep against us. we’ve got Shea “I’ve Come to Play!” McClellin chasing down aaron.

          • MB30SD

            sigh

          • i have such a deflating effect on you sometimes =]

          • MB30SD

            Yet I sills loves you my mainjes.

            …I cain’t quit you mainjes!

        • johnnywad

          Not if he has Plantar Fasciitis

      • For your consideration….

        Sorry FTW, Pep wasn’t Pep because he didn’t want to play for Mel, Trestman and Emery. He was butt hurt because Lovie and Lach were gone.
        He’s a gamer. He’ll come to play. Perry won’t be on IR and certainly won’t be cut, he’s in the rotation. Mike Neal was pursued by the Bears before we got Young but he opted to stay in GB. Matthews is coming off thumb surgery, not a knee.
        I hear you but I predict much more production than people expect.

        • SC Dave

          I suspect this is dead on.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Hands up who’s worried about Julius this year? He didn’t worry any QBs last year. Matthews, different story.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
    • Cormonster

      Some good young rockers. Reminds me of going to band practices all the time from 84-88 and listening to my friends play hard rock and metal.

  • BearDownChi

    This made me think of Jonny Knox, I remember him making plays in preseason and then actually taking his good play into the regular season. Too bad his career is over now.

    • EnderWiggin

      Knox showed some flashes of ability. He could have been a great as a #3. Unfortunately, he was lined up with Hester, Butterfingerzacher, or giraffe.
      It doesn’t matter though – As soon as your shoulder blades touch your calves, it’s over.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I remember him being mostly dreadful – hanging Cutty out to dry – and then occasionally making a sick catch.

  • For your consideration….

    watching that Knox video led me to click on another link. We’d better not kick to him. It would hurt too much to see him take it to the house against our boys.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuCMb9FYyDA

    • BearDownChi

      I’m thinking we kick to him this year….and it will be scary.

      • For your consideration….

        unless we kick it super high to him at about the 8yd line, then we’re fucking golden.

    • CanadaBear

      You could link that once a week and I’d happily watch it over and over. Hope he gets the record this year just not against us.

  • MB30SD

    Fuck all this political talk, let’s get back to boobies shall we?

    https://www.google.com/search?q=Krystle+Lina&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7ZLFU7eJAY–oQSJ34HYDQ&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=653

    (NO! it’s not fucking safe for your work Jokey!!!)

    • For your consideration….

      Dude, how awesome is Marshall going to be this year? A full offseason to train, not fucking rehab, TO TRAIN. He is going to be a monster creating matchup fear boners throughout the league.

      • MB30SD

        Let me sum up the entirety of my feelings about next season….

        please god, just let us not have any major injuries.

        That’s it. We achieve that and we’ll be seriously dang-er-oos.

        Btw, I’ll be in chi for at least one game. Tell the little missus to start writing out your hallpass now.

        • For your consideration….

          as you typed that I transferred several hundred to my offshore account. My pet name for off the grid funds I use to finance naughty operations like buying Portillos or drinking whiskey all night at a “marketing meeting.”

          • MB30SD
          • Irish Sweetness

            FAAAACK!!! ALL RIGHT! Van Halen Acoustic styleee !!!
            YEAAAAAHHHHH!

            I can feel my phantom hair itch !

          • Irish Sweetness

            Looks weird seeing Eddie on acoustic. That man was born to be electric – not the same when he plays the harmonics near the start ….

            I want to listen to the solo DLR stuff now. I got a jones for the RAWWWWK!

          • Irish Sweetness

            This was cool. DLR interviews the Van Halens.

            The boys make some interesting points in the second part.

            1. Starbucks are really in the milk business.

            2. McDonalds are really in the real estate business. You buy the franchise and pay their mortgage.

            That’s rockin’ smart.

      • Irish Sweetness

        This why all the talk on the real JA Boner A.K.A. Marquess Wilson is cray cray. BM will be even more money this year, and Alshon has already been noticed by non-Bear fans.

        Between Martellus and Forte, the other dude – whoever it will be – won’t get much of a look-in. With any luck we’ll just be running the clock down in the second half anyways.

  • For your consideration….

    Anyone hear think Hester is going to bring a couple back this year? I think he’s good for at least 2 and a couple of long ones.

    • MB30SD

      meh

    • BearDownChi

      I think he’s breaking the record this season for sure my hope is that he does it against Lovie and the Bucs

      • For your consideration….

        I thought he broke the record

        • I think he’s one away from breaking the record. That one beauty against the Pack with the phantom holding would have meant Hester record with the Bears.

          • and the super bowl return that doesn’t count as a return for a reason i don’t care to agree with.

          • I could understand that. For instance, Prime Time played in a shit load of play-off games with the Cowboys/9ers. So it’s not Hester’s fault he had less chances because he wasn’t on dynasties.

            However, returning one in the SB is bad-ass. Get like 10 extra ones for that.

          • Irish Sweetness

            The opening KO though. Legendary. Game starts. We’re in the super bowl. FUCK YOU!!! THAT WAS THE OPENING KICKOFF ….. BITCH !!!

            And then … euch.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Tied it with ….(cough) …. peon!

    • johnnywad

      Hard to say whether his legs are still there or not. Didn’t seem like it was there last year or the year before. The Vikings game last season was pretty special but that was against piss poor specials on really bad turf. I’m betting that was as good as it gets.

  • AlbertInTucson

    “…yearly occurrence in the pants of Bears fans caused by the over-hyping of meaningless performances in the summer leading up to the NFL season.”

    C’mon now, That comes across as a concept/condition unique to Bears Fans when, in fact there’s at least one of these “…Boners” in EVERY NFL team’s camp EVERY preseason.

    • Yes, and luckily for us, it’s at a relatively innocuous position, like KR, 4rth WR, etc.

      Other organizations have boners that a rookie QB will save them.

      At least we don’t have to go that route.

      I would say it’s more like a Bear Chub. (Cub chub?)

      • AlbertInTucson

        Remember, though, Anderson pre-dates Jeffrey and, I think, even the acquisition of Marshall.

  • For your consideration….
  • It’s weird, but for the most part, our roster is set.

    On O, it’s the same except Wilson instead of Bennett. Plus a rookie HB.
    On D, a little more flux, but Dline will most likely be Allen-Pea-Ratliff-Houston (with heavy rotations of Ego, Sutton, Young).
    LB. Most likely: Briggs-DJ-Bostic/Shea
    CB. Peanut, Jennings, Fuller

    Safety naturally is the most volatile, but Mundy seems to have one lock down.
    The returner is up in the air too, but my dark horse bet would be that CFL cat.

    We have a really nice blend of vet and youngins. This could be the beginning of a powerhouse. Bear down, biatches!

    • CanadaBear

      I’m really excited about the possibilities but still worried about the D. Barring injuries I think our D has the potential to be at least league avg. Not great but after last year I’ll take it. I’m still very worried about the LB’s (even Briggs, he was scary bad when he came back). DJ used to be a stud but that’s in the past, still have no idea about the other guys (Bostic, McClellin, Greene). It would be sweet if that Jones pick up worked out but who knows? I think Peanut will be great again this year but you never know. Fuller seems like a good pick. Jennings is becoming a fave. He’s the smallest guy out there and the best tackler. That brings us to the safeties. Mundy and Vereen and that’s it? They may be a half-way decent combo, but after all these years, pardon me if I’m a bit skeptical. ST’s should be better this year (stronger roster hopefully). They HAVE TO be better at punting. Really intrigued by that tiny CFL guy.

      • DJ was solid when healthy last year. If he can stay healthy, he’s adequate. Briggs was really good before injury and was clearly not in shape when he came back for the last 2 games.

    • you forget Collins at DT. He’ll play a healthy # of snaps, I think.
      On D I still don’t like that most of the guys are either too young or too old. Not enough in that 2nd contract, the prime guys who should be the leaders of the D. The O is well positioned for the next 3+ years already. Replace Garza with de la Puente after this year, and the entire O will be intact for 2015 too. Kinda unreal.

      • Totally forgot about Collins! Good call. Hope he returns from his ACL. He looked better than Melton, then got hurt.

        It seems like we keep letting go of that 2nd wave player.

        Woot was emerging as a leader on the D I think. He’s gone. Melton. Same.

        Not sure if it’s a symptom of bad drafting, bad developing, or simply a money issue.
        Paea is another who could have been in the 2nd wave, but we’ll find out after this year. Seems like we let all our home grown prospects walk when they hit that 2nd contract. Jennings didn’t demand too much, so we kept him.

        But at least we have the wily vets as a foundation to sort of keep team chemistry. It’s always risky business bringing in a bunch of FAs. Never know how they’ll interact or form chemistry, but guys like Peanut, Briggs, Jennings, even the scud missile, seem to keep the foundation upright.

        And the other FAs seem like true vets too. Don’t really have to worry about DJ Williams or Allen being a cancer in the locker room.

        • pretty sure it was a combo of bad drafting and a changeover with the new GM.

          Look at Angelo’s last 5-6 drafts. From 2006 on, pretty much the only good players he got were Hester and Forte, and even Hester was only good on ST.

      • Irish Sweetness

        After this year?? Nope, do not want to see Garza going backwards for another year. Why would we do that? BDLP was doing it for the Saints. That’s Drew Brees, mang. That’s mister back to back 5000+ yard seasons. He needs to start NOW. Can I get a witness?

        • MB30SD

          Hallelujah

        • Garza is an offensive captain. I would be shocked if they bench him, just because I don’t think it would go over well in the locker room.

          But I’m with you in saying DLP is better.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Do we know who the Saints O-captain was ? Brees?

          • Yeah, I would assume it’s Brees.

          • bearsfantillend

            They already chose who the offensive captains are before training camp??? I think Garza needs to find a cushion cuz his ass will be riding the pine.

          • he’s been the captain for years, and that typically carries over until the player leaves the team.

          • bearsfantillend

            i understand that but to hell with the status quo. if he is not the best player at the position he should be riding the bench. It was glaringly apparent that he was the weak link on the line last year. if DLP(sounds like a wrestling move) is better then he better be playing. This a business and the players should know that by now.

          • I imagine if there’s an obvious difference in camp/preseason, something will happen. If it’s anywhere close, the job remains Garza’s IMO

          • MB30SD

            thiiiiiiiis!

        • johnnywad

          Amen.

    • NewBearInTown

      There is a lot of flux on the D-line in terms of who gets the starting jobs at DT and who plays running down at DE. But the point is that all 8 guys will be taking snaps and will likely suit up most weeks.

      In my opinion, MLB is a lot more fluid than people think. Likewise SLB. We could have several quality players or we could have a big hole there.

      Will be interesting to see how the CBs are distributed, but we’ve definitely got the talent. Safety is in flux, as you said, its possible we could see Tillman or Jennings take snaps as safeties to compensate for some other weaknesses. We could also play three corners with a single deep safety if one guy shows he can be a sideline to sideline safety net.

      On offense, there are some questions, but they are minor. The positions are:
      – Swing tackle
      – Swing guard (likely De La Puente)
      – #2 TE for the two TE sets that are popular right now
      – Backup QB (I suspect it will be Clausen)
      – Power/Change of Pace RB (hopefully it will be Carey)

      • Irish Sweetness

        Why would we play BDLP at guard? The dude was the starting Center on maybe the most potent passing offense in the league.

        There’s the bench Roberto, we’ll let you know when we need somebody to fill in. Thanks.

      • Britton returns as the swing tackle. DLP is the top backup for all 3 interior spots (unless the coaches have the cajones to bench Garza should he outplay him in camp).

        • NewBearInTown

          Britton seems to be the returning swing, but he’s an example of someone who could get pushed at camp.

          Jordon Mills was great for a rookie, but he’s not on the level of, say, Kyle Long where we would build around him for the next ten years. Mills has the spot if he continues to improve, but the team may choose to replace him at some point if his growth is stunted.

          Britton isn’t the guy to replace Mills. If we find a young talent that could develop into the new starting RT, Britton may find himself getting bumped.

          • I think the ideal plan in the Bears’ minds is that Leno and Groy are the top backups next year. Doubt either cracks the top 7 this year (aka active on gameday). But would have both under contract multiple years if they’re ready to take those roles on starting next year.

    • Irish Sweetness

      I want them to run Adrian Wilson into the ground at safety.

      1. He’s a vet.

      2. He’s 6’3 and 230 lbs.

      3. He’s 6’3 and 230 lbs.

      • he’s 35 and coming off an Achilles injury that cost him an entire season. Can he even run fast enough to play S in the NFL anymore?

  • Irish Sweetness
    • johnnywad

      Why on earth would we want a guy that obviously doesn’t want to play anymore? He hasn’t even showed up with the rest of the team and is walking away from a real salary this season. He’s done.

      • MB30SD

        because they will release him he gets to keep $3.25M of bonus.

        Free Monnnnnaaaaaaayyyy!!!!

  • Irish Sweetness
  • MB30SD

    I’m pretty sure this is what heaven looks like: http://www.mandatory.com/2014/07/16/todays-funny-photos/

    Trac… yes?

    • bearsfantillend

      if she keeps that up she will be able to out bench our punter.

      • MB30SD

        that is quite literally what my heaven would look like. My god man.

  • MB30SD
    • CanadaBear

      Had to agree about the worst fan (Jim Belushi). Has any sibling ever milked the connection more than him? No discernible talent. Can’t act, can’t sing, can’t dance, yet he does all three every chance he gets (and proves he can’t each time). Always shows up at Bear’s games on the sideline. Always going for the lowest common denominator. When they interview him he always plays the meathead Bears fan (Da Bears!). Now that he doesn’t have a show on the air we don’t have to see him in the booth. Other than that, I really like him.

      • MB30SD

        Hahahaha… he was ok in red heat with arnie, but that’s about it.

        • MB30SD

          how about talansky btw. Guts. don’t think he comes back tomorrow but we’ll see.

          Did you see the howe interview… what a dick. Hahaha

          • CanadaBear

            Talansky is definitely a tool. A tool that might as well hang ’em up for this tour. Where did you see the Howe interview?

        • AlbertInTucson

          I kind of enjoyed K-9. He’s also John Candy’s Partner in ONLY THE LONELY.

    • Irish Sweetness

      And John Cusack …. and his mate that plays Ari Gold …… so again, if Vince and Bill Murray and Barry O’ Bama can put up the two billion and front my end, I’ll totally do the joint-ownership thing.

      First order of business: bring Kyle home, followed by the ‘Nubasian’ Honey Bears.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    any of you guys near OK and want an awesome dog?

    http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2014/07/15/pkg-dog-stays-with-deceased-owner.koco&hpt=hp_c3&from_homepage=yes&video_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F

    adopt this guy, you won’t regret it, they are awesome.

  • MB30SD
    • Irish Sweetness

      Fuck NASA, the space FIFA! Photo-shopping all their lunar dark-side photos. White-washing their astronauts who came forward and stated that they had been accompanied by E.T. on part of their journeys to the moon e.g James McDivitt, Michael Collins, Buzz Aldrin – Aldrin has done an about turn though, lost respect for him on that, but they may have threatened his family. Ever see the post-Apollo XI tv show they did with Sir Patrick Moore? Check-out that body language whenever they were directly asked about the moon, and surface activities. Shitting themselves and hanging on each other’s words. Why?

      Don’t people find it strange that NASA apparently have no space program, yet the Navy’s ‘dark’ budget (including HUGE chunks of private money) is in the trillions?

  • For your consideration….

    I just bet that the Seahawks will NOT make the playoffs. It was a +240 so I had to make a move. I see a big let down this year and some of their big vet guns on D left in free agency. I don’t think Sherman will be a factor this year coming off of injury and i would imagine that there will be a much higher number of penalties against them this year….since they commit a penalty on virtually every play.

    • That’s a pretty tough bet to swallow. That team is loaded and they always seem to find no-name rookies to fill in when needed. Their D lost some run beef on the DL, but returns just about everybody else, and has some solid DTs they signed to help replace that.
      As to Sherman, he had an ankle injury. It wasn’t severe enough to prevent him from playing through it, though it limited his mobility. That was in February. Will not be an issue at all by September.
      You got great odds, and the NFC is deep, so maybe you win.

    • Cormonster

      Possible, but not probable. They are in the toughest division in football.

    • Irish Sweetness

      They lost three starters on Def, I think, and they’re a Def team. But wow.

  • Cormonster
    • Irish Sweetness

      Thought we might be getting Cure- or Morrissey-rolled!

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