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Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays From DaBearsBlog to You!

| December 24th, 2014

badsanta1

I have nothing to write about the Chicago Bears for the next forty-eight hours. Hopefully. Seriously, I’m getting bored writing incessantly about how much of a train wreck the Bears organization has been in 2014. Monday can’t come soon enough. So instead, the five best Christmas movies of all-time:

#5 THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

#4 A CHRISTMAS STORY

#3 ELF

#2 NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION

#1 BAD SANTA

Apologies to the Miracle on 34th Streets and It’s a Wonderful Lifes of the world but they’ve never done it for me. My family is also not one of those tight, wake up to Folgers brewing in the kitchen, hugs-a-lot groups. So my choices veer in a certain direction.

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  • GPLDAN

    How about Brian Doyle-Murray as the asshole boss in the National Lampoon flick? He nailed it.

    • BearDown100393

      Art:The little lights… they aren’t twinkling.
      Clark:I know, Art. Thanks for noticing.
      Every asshole father-in-law moment right there.

  • CanadaBear

    I still laugh thinking about all those dumb asses that took their kids to Bad Santa when it came out. Between the name of the movie and the fact that it was rated R might have been a tip off but nooooooooooooooooo. The more they cried in the media the more I laughed. A Fave!

    • Viva

      The dressing room scene was hilarious!

      • CanadaBear

        I never got John Ritter until that movie (his last). When he’s trying to explain to Bernie Mac Bad Santa’s sexual preferences, I start blowing snot bubbles.

    • Cormonster

      Hey Canada, your Xmas present is in the mail. I made it myself. It’s a wooden pickle. Sorry it’s late, but I wanted to try it out first and didn’t shit right for a week.

      • CanadaBear

        Bless you my son! Hope the holidays are great for you Cor. I’ll send Lauren Graham your way to see if she still has a Santa fetish!!!!!!

    • KentuckyBearsFan

      Bad Santa was great for a movie with only 3 words of dialogue….that I can remember.

  • Viva

    Love Actually should be on this list Jeffe. You fucked up. Merry Christmas anyway.

    Dave Toub for HC.

    • beninnorcal

      No thumbs up for ‘Love Actually’, it was a thumbs up for Toub. No offense of course, NTTAWWT

      • Viva

        Merry Christmas Ben

    • DaBearsBlog

      Love Actually is a top 10 no doubt.

      • Viva

        Top ten! Out of what? I only know of 10 Christmas movies.

  • Bears-4-Ever

    Sorry but it can’t be a Christmas movie list without at least ONE Scrooge! I don’t care if you grew up in a box behind Woolworths it ain’t Christmas without at least one.

    Very top on the list A Christmas Carol (1951) to which all others are compared. Alastair Sim is absolutely superb as Scrooge. Second, George C. Scott (1984), not only is his adaptation an old miser, he’s a down right ruthless, greedy, bastard. Third, Bill Murray in Scrooged…I still laugh out loud watching certain scenes.

    The notable classics you left out I understand based on the qualification you noted on how you grew up. So your list is a personal choice based on your opinion which in turn is based on your experiences. One of my favorite Christmas movie scenes from the original Miracle on 34th Street, not the poor re-make from the 90s. Christmas Magic in one simple scene…The look of shock on Natalie Woods face is awesome…silly girl, of course Santa can speak Dutch! HE’S SANTA!

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all!
    Even to Chessy, since it’s Christmas and all.

    • Viva

      Could not agree more with Sgrooge…

    • DaBearsBlog

      Muppet Christmas Carol is Scrooge story.

      • Bears-4-Ever

        Yes. I stand corrected. My list still stands, as a “human” Scrooge list.

  • Viva

    Merry Christmas and last day of Hanukkah to all!

  • GPLDAN

    Scrooged with Bill Murray anyone?

    • BearDown100393

      Frank Cross:I want to see her nipples.
      Censor Lady:But this is a CHRISTMAS show.
      Frank Cross:Well, I’m sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.
      Carpenter:You can barely see them nipples.
      Frank Cross:See? And these guys are REALLY looking.

    • DaBearsBlog

      I have Scrooged in 6th. I was gonna put it 5th.

  • CanadaBear

    No matter how you guys feel about Lance, this is a nice goodbye to Bears fans. Not to mention, you get to see him dance the Carlton!

    http://www.csnchicago.com/bears/lance-briggs-show-no-55-says-farewell

  • GPLDAN

    Rex Ryan would be a powerful scion in Chicago. To win, for him, would not only be a validation for him, but for his father’s own legacy in Chicago. To the Ryan family, it means alot that Buddy created the 46 and the best D ever.

    We’d probably go back to drafting for D and going with a Monsters of the Midway angle again with journeymen quarterbacks and I should think that would suit the city just fine. If the defense is bad-ass enough, even Trent Dilfer can win a ring. A cock ring. For his head.

    Rex could have all the ladies shoes he wanted in Chicago and still be less of a weirdo than Nessman. Plus, next to reporting to Woody Johnson, Ted or a new GM would be a cake walk.

    • DaCoaches Mustache

      Funniest comment of the year:
      the defense is bad-ass enough, even Trent Dilfer can win a ring. A cock ring. For his head.

      • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

        stache, you’re back. what the fuck? where the fuck were you?

    • NewBearInTown

      You don’t think Rex and Jay could work together? They Ryan family has a good history with surly quarterbacks that don’t play nice with coaches or the media.

      • GPLDAN

        Jay needs a fresh start as a Titan. If I were given the Teddy/Phil role, I would look to secure a trade as favorable as I could with an AFC team. It’s in everyboy’s best interest to buy a portion of his deal out, eat that cap hit, and move on.

        • NewBearInTown

          You may be right. Still begs the question of who we get to play quarterback next year.

          • There’s going to be tons of intriguing prospects, NB.

            Locker
            Clausen
            Mallet
            Bradford (?)
            RG3(?)
            Sanchez
            Vick
            Glennon
            Fales
            Hoyer
            Orton (?)
            McCown (?)
            Fitzpatrick (?)

            Those are just off the top of my head, and not even including the draft (folks seem to like Grayson) or possible trade options (like for Nassib or Garrapolo)

            Granted, it’s not overwhelming, but we’re merely looking for a bridge QB while we rebuild our D and mold a new one, and none of them will cost nearly as much as Cutler.

          • NewBearInTown

            Okay, so you tell me which one of those you want to sign if we trade Cutler.

          • It depends on the new HC/OC.
            But the top 3 are Mallet, Clausen, Sanchez to hold us over while we groom a drafted QB. They’ll be reasonably priced, so we can win 5 games with them for 1/3 the cost.

            If we truly want a “care taker” Fitzpatrick, Orton or McCown are rather conservative pea-shooters.

            But it’s total rebuild time going that route, no doubt, but we’re not going anywhere with this D.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            I don’t wanna win five games.

          • We can win 6 with Cutler in Jeffersonian fashion.

    • Cock-rings all around!
      It’s a festivus miracle!

  • Jack Lacan

    “…not a creature is stirring, not even a…”

  • Jack Lacan

    Please remember the animals talk at midnight about the Bears…

  • Bender McLugh

    Scrooged would be in my top 5, and Nightmare Before Christmas.

    Merry Merry everyone!

  • Bender McLugh
    • CanadaBear

      I always tell people I’m a recovering Catholic. I never have to explain that statement. I’m pleasantly shocked by the new pope. The first time in my life they have someone in charge that actually cares about poor people.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Recovering Catholic. I hear THAT.

    • huntinbare

      Wise old soul

  • Bender McLugh

    “Although Ryan has been undone by his almost willful disregard for
    offense and inability to identify coaches capable of developing
    quarterbacks, he’s still respected as one of the game’s premier
    defensive minds.”

    possible Trestman-Ryan pairing as OC-HC respectively? I would not be sad by this.

    • Bender McLugh

      yes I would be…..Trestman….oye.

      • NewBearInTown

        Trestman has done nothing to convince me that he is anything good for the game other than an outstanding coach of Canadian football.

  • CanadaBear

    Merry X-mas and Season’s Greetings to all my blog brethren. The weather today on Vancouver Island is chilly but clear. I just put the turkey on the old Weber charcoal grill. Life is good and it’s going to be better in a few hours!

    • Viva

      Merry Christmas Canada

      • CanadaBear

        Back atcha Viva! Now that I’m no longer working every X-mas, I seem to be in a better mood around the holidays. A really pleasant change!!!!

        • Bears-4-Ever

          Congrats on not having to Work on Christmas! Italian Seafood for Christmas Eve and Ham for Christmas Day for us!

          • CanadaBear

            Awesome! Yeah, I sure don’t miss shift work. Have a great holiday season.

      • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

        viva, have a great christmas. I also order you to grab the nearest whiskey and execute the mission.

        • Viva

          Roger. Be advised, target engaged. BDA to follow.

          1 bottle throttle. Guts aching. Kids merry. Wifey, as usual, enamored with daddy’s endurance.

    • Merry Xmas

      • CanadaBear

        Thanks Butch! Back atcha! Hope it’s a good one.

    • huntinbare

      Have a great holiday ….I brought you a present below. Back in the day we used to blast seasonal music in the mornings as we prepared the days mail for delivery. When I played this the boys would hoot and holler….oooowwwwwwwhhhhoooooo….this is how they do it in chicago

      • CanadaBear

        The video didn’t come up but William Clarke was a great harp player and good singer. We booked him at 2 different festivals and a club show. Super nice guy. May he R.I.P.

        • huntinbare

          The video was …please let me be your santa claus…My family came thruogh with 2 outstanding choices of music for me from my favorite artists…..
          Lost on the River..The New Basement Tapes…and a beautiful box set filled with outstanding photos…Collaborations…Ravi and George doing their thing…
          Times like this make the past months sundays fade into the background..stay safe..

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      merry christmas Canada. i feel like if we ever met the last thing we’d be talking about is the Bears. You seem like a great guy. Guys that seem like great guys are usually great guys unless they’re in a Lifetime movie, in which case they are Rob Lowe and they eventually rape you and try to kill you.

      • CanadaBear

        I’m too lazy and passive to rape beautiful women let alone men! Now that I don’t drink the thought of going out for an evening of revelry doesn’t scare me. Otherwise, I’m guessing I’d end up in the old crossbar hotel before the night was over. I guarantee if we got together we’d have major laughs. And you’re correct, the Bears would probably be the most boring thing we talked about all night!

  • Trac

    A little over two thousand years ago…..

    Have a great Christmas to evra one of you, may you all be blessed.

    • Bears-4-Ever

      To you as well Trac.

      Semper Fi Bro.

      Luke 2:10

  • Caraher

    The “You’re an emotional fucking cripple…” rant is my favorite.

    Throwing my vote in for “The Ref” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbyYOsDnXuk

    • GPLDAN

      I always thought that Alec Baldwin’s dysfunctional mother in 30 Rock was largely cribbed from The Ref.

    • haha a wooden cross! re-insert the Christ into Xmas!

  • GPLDAN
  • EnderWiggin

    Why is “Emmit Otter’s Jugband Christmas” not in everybody’s top 5?!

    • AlbertInTucson

      I draw a line between Theatrical Releases and TV specials.

      Separate catagories.

  • GPLDAN

    For 3 years I’ve had sources very close to Bears front office. Never waited longer than hour or 2 for confirm/deny. Radio Silence. 2 weeks.

    They’re being held hostage! Christmas Rescue, Iran style!

    Johnny went to West Point, he’s our mission commander!

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      haha, i turned down west point because i wasn’t west point quality. I would definitely give you some mission advice but it would be from a national guard weekend warrior. we’d all die.

  • Happy Holidays, Fucker!
    And I feel I can speak for MB, so he says, “Happy Festivus! Go Hardin!”

    I’m passing these out for all you, even Cheesy.

    http://orangejuiceblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/festivus.jpg

  • NewBearInTown

    Okay, here it is. For those who want to see Cutler gone and think Tennessee is a good fit.
    Root for the Titans to lose and the Bucs to win. It strikes me as a pretty fair deal to trade Cutler and our first round pick to move all the way up to the #1 pick. We can then have the rookie QB of our choice and the cap space to sign a vet in free agency.

    • Trac

      I’d prefer a bridge guy and draft D in the first round.

      • NewBearInTown

        A bridge to what exactly?

        • MikeBrownhadaPosse

          Based on past history, fifteen years in the quarterback wilderness.

          • Trac

            Call me old fashioned Brownie but I’m still a believer in a solid D first, prolific offense second.

        • Trac

          I know you’re smarter than this NB. A 2nd or 3rd round QB than can manage games and with time can be coached up. I’m not one for trading up for a marginal talent.

        • Teribithia!

    • AlbertInTucson

      That’s never gonna happen.

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      Cutler stays, all 4 WR’s stay, TE stays, RB stays, offense gets more consistent and puts up admirable numbers… people stop jumping off ledges….2015 prediction.

      • BlameAngelo

        Worst defense in the NFL, sorry. 5 or 6 games will be the max.

    • MikeBrownhadaPosse

      I have this fear that Emery would draft Goulds replacement.

      • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

        robbie got called the the principals office.

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Merry Christmas you sons of biscuits. May next year bring us a more enjoyable bears season than this one!

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      merry christmas you rational son of a bitch. next time you’re in town let’s all get some food and drink.

      • MikeBrownhadaPosse

        Hell yes and serously considering doing my bachelor party in the city in May.

        • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

          haha, bring in MB and Murph and get Gp and shady to not be pussies and let’s do it right. good food, good booze….and if girls come and end up taking off their clothes there was nothing we could do about it.

          • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

            wait….you’re fucking getting married????? congrats you brave and stupid bastard.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Yup!

          • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

            congrats my man. That’s awesome news. If you’re truly excited then we couldn’t be more excited for you. We’ll celebrate over salads and martinis the next time i see you.

          • DaMurph

            He may even go for that Kobe beef burger again!!

          • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

            lol, my Kobe beef burger!
            He looked so unimpressed when his salad showed up that I had to spring into action. I was full anyway from drinking a gallon of red bull vodkas with MB at that hotel bar.

          • DaMurph

            He ate some of YOUR Kobe!!! Yeah you did have a couple of Vodkas!!! Hahaha! If he comes in for a bachelor party he better eat some meat! You cant survive all that honeymoon sex without a proper dosing of protein, derived from animal flesh, just sayin! I still laugh every time I remember the pea coat incident!!! LMFAO

          • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

            haha, that was awkward. I ended up losing that coat that night at a strip club that I was dragged to….and that ultimately ended up costing me a chance to go to the game with you guys the next day. I was too hungover and couldn’t get downtown. I failed.

          • Cormonster

            Congratulations maing!

          • congrats! as a six month veteran, i can tell you it’s very important to smile and nod while you seethe and scream bloody murder on the inside. this skill is as vital as leading a receiver on a crossing route.

          • MikeBrownhadaPosse

            Oh shit, I just remembered the draft is in town two weekends before my wedding. That’s it, it’s official.

          • DaMurph

            I’m in!!

        • CanadaBear

          Congrats on the upcoming nuptials.

        • Viva

          Vegas…Vegas!! During draft weekend. I love the way that rolls off my keypad.

  • huntinbare

    A great white flock of curlews just dusted the front lawn….who says you can”t have a white Christmas IN SWFLA…

    May you all have a satisfying holiday season…The gift below is my Christmas wish for all

  • huntinbare

    Six…..6

  • AlbertInTucson

    Merry Christmas to all.

  • Scott W.

    Merry Christmas oh ye Bearsy gentlemen.
    And Happy Hanukkah where applicable, sincerely.
    Hope yer all having a great Eve.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS, MR. HUGHES.
    Thank you for the hangout, and sorry our fan stockings were filled with coal this season.
    To 2015!

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      Scott, insert whiskey into mouth now. Think about xmas’ past now. Insert whiskey into mouth now. Pop on the Frank Capra classic and fall asleep knowing that when you do things the right way they usually work out for the best. I’ll be over tomorrow at noon. Don’t bother getting all gussied up, i’m bringing Tradewinds.

      • Scott W.

        By noon, I should have my pj shirt buttons figured out.
        Just let your self in. I’ll get the Trestman pinata put together, and we’ll fill it with pictures of Dave Toub and Jim Harbaugh.
        Try not to hit the dead racoon in the driveway, I’m conducting an experiment.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Much as I hate to play The Grinch or Scrooge but…

    This is a pretty WEAK “Top Five Christmas Movies” list, in my opinion.

    At least you didn’t stoop to include DIE HARD like a lot of idiot lists I have seen.

    To THOSE clowns I say, STALAG 17 is more of a Christmas movie than DIE HARD.

    As for the above list…

    BAD SANTA?! Please. That’s like including Cedric Benson or Curtis Enis on a list of Great Chicago Bear Running Backs.

    MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL barely makes the list of TOP 5 VERSIONS OF A CHRISTMAS CAROL.

    Here’s my top 5 which does NOT include TV specials like the HOW THE GRINCH… or CHARLIE BROWN, etc.

    5) I will give you your choice of ELF, CHRISTMAS VACATION or THE SANTA CLAUSE.

    All entertaining. I am NOT big on Will Ferrell but I was surprised at how enjoyable I found ELF. Ed Asner makesa good Santa and Papa Elf, Bob Newhart, is from Oak Park.

    4) A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1951) – Alistair Sim is a most excellent Scrooge.

    3) A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1938) – But Reginald Owen is even better with the June Lockhart (Lassie, Lost In Space) as a Crachit daughter with her real Dad and Mom, Gene and Kathleen, playing Bob and Mrs. Crachit

    2) MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET – I STILL think, Oscar Winner, Edmund Gwen IS Kris Kringle. Plus Natalie Wood and Maureen O’Hara. And there’s Gene Lockhart, again, as the judge. BTW, I find the remake of this unwatchable.

    1) A CHRISTMAS STORY- The Setting is JUST before my childhood but it still speaks volumes to me. Maybe because I HAD a Red Ryder BB gun. No compass in the stock, though. Besides, “The Old Man” is a Bear fan!

    That’s it.

    That’s the list.

    • Anonymous Yahoo Poster

      i agree with you Al on this list whether you fucking like it or not.

    • eh. it’s a wonderful life is a saccharine load of hoo-ha. and the remake of Miracle is unwatchable because the original gives it nothing to work with.

      i will take your offering of Elf, and I’m also going to snag Christmas Vacation. saying i can’t have both is like saying the bears offense is going to improve in year 2 under The Tresticle.

      Nightmare Before Christmas is a good one, too. if the Pumpkin King can learn the meaning of the holiday, anyone can.

      i think it’s a generational thing.

  • AlbertInTucson

    Blogfather Tweet: “There are three can’t miss NFL games Sunday for division titles. Why is the NFL scheduling two of them in the late afternoon slot? ”

    I suspect because because FOX and CBS want it that way. Neither wants to concede the late afternoon audience to the other.

    Besides, does Carolina-Atlanta, a matchup of sub .500 teams, qualify as “Can’t Miss”?

  • AlbertInTucson

    I think the last time I cared about the Pro-Bowl Gale Sayers was in it.

  • GPLDAN

    I guess the NFL wasn’t too happy about that “hold my dick, bitch” move. I thought it was funny.

    http://www.peninsuladailynews.com/article/20141225/NEWS/141229989/seahawks-lynch-fined-for-gesture-at-end-of-beast-mode-run

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