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Final Thoughts on Michael Sam, a Homosexual NFL Player and the Elephant in the Locker Room

| February 12th, 2014

sam

Full disclosure: DaBearsBlog is not my only job.

I started my theatre career in New York City as the Assistant Artistic Director of a now-defunct organization called Musical Theatre Works. I was subsequently part of the team that launched the inaugural New York Musical Theatre Festival (“NYMF”) in the city and parlayed that gig into the role of Associate General Manager of the Helen Hayes Theatre on Broadway. (I was historically awful at the latter.) All the while I wrote. Plays. Musicals. Poetry. Everything. In 2005 I no longer depended on administrative-type roles to support my writing career. (That lasted a few years. Then it didn’t. Then it did again!)

Why do I tell you this? Because when it comes to homosexual exposure, I am uniquely qualified as a straight man. Most people might have a few folks they know who might be gay. Everyone I work with is gay. So let’s destroy a few myths and clarify a few things when it comes to Michael Sam’s prospective locker room reception in the NFL.

First, let’s discuss the shower situation.

From a piece in the New York Daily News:

Former Jets linebacker Jonathan Vilma was accused of homophobia in 2011 when he tweeted: “Grown men should NOT hav [SIC]female tendencies. Period.”

Just last week, Vilma, now with the New Orleans Saints, said gays would not be accepted in most team NFL locker rooms.

“Imagine if he’s the guy next to me, and you know, I get dressed, naked, taking a shower, the whole nine, and it just so happens he looks at me, how am I supposed to respond?” Vilma said in an NFL Network interview.

Let me ask Jonathan Vilma and every other ignorant straight male in the world a question. When you are naked and there is a woman nearby, do you assume that woman will not be able to suppress the urge to drop down to her knees and throw you inside her mouth simply because you are the gender she sexually prefers? Just because homosexuals like men doesn’t mean they like ALL men, Mr. Vilma. And there’s a good chance the one or two homosexuals in your locker room won’t like YOU. But why would I expect a more nuanced view?

Are gay men a bit stereotyped by an historically promiscuous lifestyle and seemingly willy-nilly, anonymous sexual lifestyle? Yes they are. But let’s be honest here. If women would subscribe to that type of lifestyle, how many of straight men would have spent their twenties hopping from bathroom stall to bathroom stall with whatever lady was seated on the adjacent stool?

And if the AIDS crisis led to a changed sexual approach for the homosexual male population, I’d argue the one demographic has maintained the toss it in any hole anywhere attack plan is professional athletes.

Side note: why does the NFL even have group showers anymore? These are billion-dollar organizations! They can’t put in some stalls? My gym has stalls.

The shower business is a smokescreen. It is a convenient, surface excuse to hide what is underneath the surface. Ignorance. Hatred. Bigotry.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE LOCKER ROOM

What comprises the majority of an NFL locker room? Three things:

  1. Urban African-Americans. (I hate the phrase but I don’t need to be fighting that fight right now.)
  2. Southern/rural African-Americans.
  3. Southern/rural whites.

Yes, I recognize there are exceptions to these categories and quite often they are quarterbacks. But most great football players come from the football hotbeds of Florida, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, urban Los Angeles, western Pennsylvania and Ohio. (To read some interesting breakdowns of NFL demographics, simply click here and take a look at a thorough analysis.)

What do these three categories of Americans have in common? Christianity in large quantities. These are demographics that by and large do not approve of homosexuality for one reason: their pastor tells them so. And one does not need to call the clergy and have them fax a sermon to show an example. One can look inside the league for quotes on the subject. Self-appointed NFL morality czar Tony Dungy has led the way!

From a staff report at USA Today:

Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy said he knows some people would rather he steered clear of Indiana’s gay marriage debate, but he clearly staked out his position nonetheless.

The Super Bowl-winning coach “embraced” the stance of an Indiana organization supporting an amendment to the state constitution that would ban gay marriages, and he added Tuesday night at a gathering of the Indiana Family Institute that he’s “on the Lord’s side.”

“We’re not trying to downgrade anyone else,” said Dungy, coach of the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts. “But we’re trying to promote the family — family values the Lord’s way,” Dungy said. “IFI is saying what the Lord says. You can take that and make your decision on which way you want to be.”

Then…

Bil Browning, managing editor of Bilerico.com, a blog that focuses on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues in Indiana, was surprised to learn of Dungy’s remarks.

“It is unfortunate that coach Dungy has chosen to align himself with the Indiana Family Institute,” he said. “The Colts were supported this season by all of their fans — gay and straight.”

Dungy is the man the NFL enlisted to walk Michael Vick back onto the path of the straight and narrow. Dungy is the man who cast judgment upon the Dolphins (unfairly, I might add) in the wake of the Incognito/Martin debacle. Dungy seems to be the man who with the mere act of picking up the telephone can place one of his former lieutenants in any head coaching position he pleases.

Dungy’s word is gospel in NFL circles. Forgive me if I don’t make the sign of the cross. Dungy defends traditional family values. Remember them? Those were the ones that made the mixing of races a crime punishable by rope. Those were the ones that said it was okay for a husband to hit his wife if she spoke out of turn or dared to venture more than five feet from the kitchen without a mop in her hand. “Traditional family values” don’t exist because family values have constantly evolved – with man – over time. History looks poorly upon the last group to deny that natural evolution.

I have no issues with a person possessing a belief. But if that belief persecutes others, standing silent is no longer an issue.

BUT LET ME FINISH…

Change has to come from the pulpit, not the locker room. Until a generation of men enter the NFL who have been taught on Sunday mornings to respect the humanity of other men, the locker room will always be a difficult place for a man like Michael Sam. Until the preaching of this bigotry and hatred is no longer commonplace in the houses of worship, the existence of this bigotry and hatred will swell in the hearts of those populating their pews and subsequently NFL draft boards.

Oscar Hammerstein wrote in The Sound of Music, “You have to be taught to be afraid of people who’s eyes are oddly made and people who’s skin is a different shade.”  He was talking about racism. He was talking in 1949.

Stephen Sondheim wrote in Into the Woods, “Careful the things you say. Children will listen.”

It starts in the churches of west Texas and Baton Rouge. It starts tomorrow morning. Not with the fella headed to A&M or LSU. With the fella headed to grammar school. Only then will the locker room door swing open for Michael Sam.

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  • Johnathan Wood

    As a Christian male who grew up in a mostly Christian environment (aka Christian parents and Christian school all the way through the end of college, although I’m in grad school at a public university now), I have a somewhat personal perspective on this as well. Growing up, homosexuality was never explicitly discussed at my school, home, or church, but the only times it was ever brought up it was implicitly assumed that is was nasty and wrong.

    I went to college with pretty much this view, having never known anybody who was openly gay. At college (a conservative Christian college, might I add), I met a few openly gay men. Was weirded out by it at first, but pretty quickly came to realize it wasn’t a big deal. I now have several gay friends, a gay coworker, and have even attended a couple gay weddings.

    So ultimately the most important thing for getting over homophobia, in my personal experience (and several of my friends with similar stories), is simply spending time around homosexuals. Get to know them, and you realize they’re not terrible simply because they have different sexual preferences than you. Hopefully this will work in an NFL locker room as well.

    • Johnathan Wood

      also, it’s wildly hypocritical for guys to be anti-gay because their pastors told them so. I don’t hear them bitching about their teammates who sleep around, knock up chicks outside of wedlock, and do tons of drugs, and all of those things are just as wrong according to typical conservative Christian thinking as homosexuality.

      Actually, I don’t like the way that’s phrased. There are a lot of Christians (including myself) who don’t believe homosexuality is wrong. I guess there are Christians who also don’t believe all drugs are wrong (marijuana, for instance), and plenty who don’t have a problem with having sex outside of wedlock either. But typically if you’re going to have a problem with one you’re going to have a problem with all.

      You talk about their pastors telling them it’s wrong, and most of those pastors would also say drugs and sleeping around are wrong. So in that regard, I guess they’re comparable.

      • 505Bears

        I respect the view and understand the point. But religion is an ideology and if based on that, not sure gay/straight is a valid argument. Just like the argument if christianity is fact/fixtion would be. I believe this world is what it is. If the guy can play, sign him up. He is not looking at penis in the shower more than a guy that likes to anal with a lady is looking at a guy’s ass

        • Johnathan Wood

          I’m not saying I have a problem with gays. I don’t at all.

          I’m saying that if players in the NFL have a problem playing with gays due to their pastors telling them homosexuality is wrong (as Jeff asserts), they’re being mighty selective in what they listen to from their pastors. Those same pastors are telling them that sexual promiscuity and drugs are wrong too, but they don’t complain about being in the same locker room with guys who do those things.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      You’re assuming that a person is humane and reasonable to begin with, Wood. That’s not always the case. Fundamentalism tends to attract the opposite.

      Plus, I have known Evangelicals who do treat gays nicely, but they still believe they’re going to burn in everlasting hell, and do COVERTLY resent gays, and try wherever they can to ‘save’ them. They might not be cruel, but they are ‘benignly’ contemptuous.

      Nevertheless, not all Christians use that method. Some are a bit more ‘pro-active’ and openly detest gays.

      Also, although a majority of gay-bashers do so from a religious basis, it’s important to recognize that some non-religious people simply despise gays.

      • MB30SD

        I’d like to know how old Ted Arthur Haggard feels about gays

  • Johnathan Wood

    I also find it ironic that, by and large, the African American population is probably the least tolerant of homosexuality in the US. You’d think they could relate to being unfairly discriminated against.

    • Pulyx

      It’s a cultural thing. Homophobia is rampant and mindbogglingly violent in Africa. Adding christianity to it just made it less violent.

      • Johnathan Wood

        The vast majority of African Americans haven’t been in Africa for centuries. That’s not their culture anymore.

        • Pulyx

          I think you’re underestimating the carryover.
          Black Brazilians for an example haven’t been in africa for much much longer than american black people, and they still have very very noted african cultural aspects of their life. The culture they brought with them helped shape the country. Their food, clothing, cultural manifestations are all over the country.

          That same thing goes for african americans. If you go down to the south it gets even more obvious. They got somewhat “pasteurized” in the north, more assimilated. But some traits stay for the long haul.

          • MB30SD

            big capoeira fan.

            Are you black btw… or just knowledgable? Just curious.

          • Pulyx

            Just brazilian =). I’m jewish/white.
            But there aren’t any “true” pure white people here.
            Plus my neighborhood has always been pretty mixed and half my family is based in Rio. So we live alongside my fellow black brazilians pretty closely.

          • MB30SD

            So are you a bjj badass like every single person in brazil?

            oh and another tribesman… shalom brother.

          • Pulyx

            hahaha nah. Sports were always entertainment to me.
            Shalom bro!

          • Ronald Raes

            What makes you say homophobia is ‘part of general european behaviour’? I’m from Belgium. It certainly isn’t “general” here and in the rest of western europe.

          • Pulyx

            I mean it’s deep rooted in european religions, therefore, becoming part of the general culture. It can be open, like you see in russia, or veiled like you see in other places. Where someone won’t attack homossexuals, but go around saying “i’d hate it if my son was gay” or “I have nothing against them, as long as they keep their lives private” and other cliches like that.
            Many European countries today are in the forefront of progressive treatment of their homossexual population. Like germany, england.
            But you’ll always remember europe was the place they burned gay people alive, linched them and not to long ago, Hitler made them a part of the holocaust. Where in Russia you’re prohibited by LAW to defend gay people, or places like Italy, Spain where macho man culture creates a noxious level of homophobia.

            It’s not an insult to europeans in general. But denying that background is silly.

          • Ronald Raes

            right. I’m not denying anything you said, but why not just say such behaviour is/was widespread throughout the world? u can find such behaviour everywhere throughout history i think.
            Except Ancient Greece, which is in Europe. Can’t deny that background either 😉

          • Pulyx

            Nope. Can’t deny it.
            But there are cultures much more tolerant to homossexuality. Asian cultures for instance.
            What made it so widespread was religion. All of judeo christian varieties.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Being a black racist comedian seems to be socially acceptable even today. I don’t get that.

      • Pulyx

        That’s the point of comedy.
        What’s really sad is when the discourse is for real. And there’s plenty of that in America.

        • MB30SD

          for reals?

          • SC Dave

            I saw what you did there.

  • MB30SD

    Meh, I’m over it already. He’ll be fine no matter what. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy every day… who cares who you screw.

    Next story please!

    • Irish Sweetness

      Yeah, I hope this really is the last thread on the subject. Minus the odd bum-joke we’ll throw in.

      • MB30SD

        I’m always up for a good bum joke!

  • MB30SD
  • CanadaBear

    Hey Trac, I didn’t want my reply to you to get buried in a dead thread. I came up here right after 9/11. The Olympics in 2002 the US/Can hockey game was THE event. Since I was only here a few months at that time I was pulling for the US. We were in Banff watching the game in a very popular bar. EVERYONE knew i was pulling for the US. I wasn’t openly cheering but I wasn’t going nuts when Canada did something good. Canada beat the US handily (I think it was 5-2 or something like that). Everyone in the bar is giving me the gears but it’s all in good fun. After the game we go outside to Banff Ave (the main drag in town) and it’s pandemonium. Everyone is celebrating and on cloud 9. At this time, I should point out it was below zero F. One guy is at a busy intersection running from corner to corner (basically running squares) waving a huge Canadian flag. Everyone is cheering him on. I forgot to mention the only thing he’s wearing is shoes and socks. My Beloved Bride is hammered and goes out into the street, posing with him and flashes her boobs. She has really nice boobs so she gets a great ovation. The cops pull up and make the guy put on boxers. The town kept the party going all night. Good Times. Afterwards I realized the game meant everything to most Canadians and almost nothing to most Americans. Ever since then I always pull for Canada.

    • Cormonster

      That was me maing. Good story.

  • CanadaBear
    • Johnathan Wood

      He makes some legit points, but is wrong on others. Cutler has never been one of the best at reading defenses. He forces too many balls because he trusts his arm more than his head sometimes.

      But Cutler IS clutch. He consistently has a very good passer rating in the 4th quarter and has led a lot of game winning drives. I just wish he could get over his tendency to start like shit that he’s also had the past few years.

    • bearsfantillend

      Sounds to me JA regrets trading for Cutler(WHO CARES)…IMO that shouldn’t be the only regret he has, awful pick are all over his draft classes. BTW why is anyone even asking this JackAss for his opinion anymore? Come on, its like if a team needed to hire a QB coach they are not going to interview Ryan Leaf for the job. I know its the off-season but there are other things you can write about.

      • MB30SD

        Fuck. Jerry. Angelo.

        … RIGHT in his smug ugly little face. Cunt.

        • MB30SD

          Thank you canada… I was waiting for just one up vote. Maybe I should work on my language.

          For any of you evolved gentlemen who had good mothers and/or sisters and don’t like the word cunt, I always mean it purely in the english way… and when I type it, I’m saying it in my head with an english accent. Feel better?

          • SC Dave

            hahaha… good one. Reminds me of the recorded version of the Python travel agent sketch…

            Tourist: Yes I saw your advert in the bolour supplement
            Bounder: The what?
            Tourist: The bolour supplement
            Bounder: The color supplement?
            Tourist: Yes I’m sorry I can’t say the letter ‘B’
            Bounder: C?
            Tourist: Yes that’s right. It’s all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a schoolboy. I was attacked by a bat

            Bounder: A cat?
            Tourist: No a bat
            Bounder: Can you say the letter ‘K’

            Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, king, kettle, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford

            Bounder: Why don’t you say the letter ‘K’ instead of the letter ‘C’

            Tourist: what you mean…..spell bolour with a K

            Bounder: Yes

            Tourist: Kolour. Oh that’s very good, I never thought of that what a silly bunt

            Tragically, the TV version left off those last four words – the funniest part of the introductory segment of the sketch

          • MB30SD

            Excellent. Very sadly they don’t make them like python any more.

            I watched about 10 minutes of the kroll show before I changed the channel in disgust… Didn’t even smile once. Sketch comedy these days is pathetic.

            …Although I sometimes find workaholics pretty funny… even though it’s a bit too lewd a lot.

      • Johnathan Wood

        no joke… he uses Twitter to express his opinions because nobody will hire him to do it.

        I mean, even Matt Millen got an ESPN gig…

      • Irish Sweetness

        It’s easy to say those things he said in hindsight – but isn’t he the guy that sold the farm for Cutty? I never stopped wondering what Orton would have done with the Bears plus two first rounders and a third .. but then you remember the tool that would be picking the players.

        I like Cutty, and it’s hard to know who we would have drafted in the interim at QB if he hadn’t arrived in Chicago. Hindsight is always 20/20, and I just remember waking up happy for about three months after we signed him. Was he worth it? Not so far. One divisional title since he’s been here. He was out-played by the number two when he got injured. Dice it up any way you want, but that’s what happened.

  • MB30SD

    I thank murph for blazing trails today. And I shall follow.

    Ready?

    I really enjoyed moulin rouge. Especially this scene:

    Does that make me just a little gay? (Nttawwt)

    • NewBearInTown

      Movie got a little tiresome and a little over the top for me, but it has an awesome sound track.

      • MB30SD

        yeh, definitely heavy theatrics, but I guess that was the point. I’m not a musical guy, and it def isn’t my normal favorite style (think 007 and the bourne series), but there was something about it I really liked – I thought the song numbers were all really cool.

        Doesn’t hurt that kidman looked so hot in it. She’s a bit skinny for my liking, but the red hair… hot.

        • AlbertInTucson

          Kidman didn’t used to be so thin. She appears to VERY good effect in BILLY BATHGATE.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Wonderful singer, and Ewan blew me away with his voice. Talented good-looking bastard.

          • MB30SD

            I don’t know about the good looking part, but I think he’s a big reason I liked the movie. His singing blew me away too.

        • johnnywad

          I think you’ll enjoy Wolf of Wall Street. More gratuitous boobage than I’ve seen in a flick since the ’80’s.

          • Irish Sweetness

            “Can you feel anything yet?”
            “No.”
            (gobble down the ‘ludes – cue classic scene)

          • johnnywad

            “Somehow, I made the drive home, without a scratch on myself or the car.”

    • Irish Sweetness

      I loved ‘Come what may’, ‘Complainte de la Butte’, ‘Your song’ and I’ve always loved ‘Nature boy’ (but Nat’s version can’t be touched).

      I’m as camp as a row of tents when it comes to musicals – love Judy Garland, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly – my parent’s fault. The wizard of Oz, Singin in the rain, A chorus line, Westside story, Oliver .. The Sound of music … chitty chitty bang bang you name it. Biked the kids to the shop the other day singing ‘chim chim cheree’ from mary poppins at the top of my voice

      Never saw the play, but this song from Spring Awakenings was beautiful. ‘Left behind’

      … and is there a more haunting lullabye to sing your kids to sleep with than ‘Hushabye mountain’ from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

      …. and I loved ‘Priscilla -Queen of the desert’ …. wait … I’m coming over a little queer ….

      Nathan Lane : Oi!
      (Irish looks down at Nathan Lane)
      Oh, sorry mate ….. kleenex?

      • MB30SD

        I do believe you may be a bit… happy.

        NTTAWWT

        • Cormonster

          Trying to stay on topic. I admitted to a female friend on Facebook that I enjoy watching Little House on the Prairie re – runs on TV and enjoyed it as a kid. She was kind of shocked. Another friend chimed in that he liked watching as a kid with his Mom, but his Dad dismissed it calling it Fairy on the Prairie. Funny, because he turned into a fairy.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Little House on the Prairie is supposed to be gay? That’s news to me! I used to watch that show too.

            How about “The Rifle Man”? Talk about a phallic symbol lol

          • Cormonster

            I don’t think so, but my friends Dad did. I think it’s still a good show for kids to watch. Maybe start at 8-10 years old. Lots of good morals and also heavier subject matter without lots of violence or cussing.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            I agree. And as crazy as it sounds, and totally opposite genre, Star Trek is a good show for kids to watch which deals with many issues without blatant violence, nudity or cussing.

          • Irish Sweetness

            They do say the more homophobic somebody is, the more closet they are. Ref – that dude’s dad in American Beauty. Chris Cooper, that’s it. Col. Frank Fitts. USMC.
            HOOOO-RAAAAH!

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          The only musical I liked is “West Side Story” (then again, I had to watch that like in 8th grade).

          I tend to switch the channel when they start singing and dancing, even it’s the Simpsons or South Park.

          HOWEVER, I do want to watch Stone and Parkers’ musical “The Book of Mormon” though I heard those shows are sold-out in advance.

          • Cormonster

            Did you ever see Cannibal : the Musical by Trey and Matt? Pretty funny.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            No, I haven’t. Yet another one. I’ll have to check it out one of these days. Pretty much everything they touch is genius.

          • Cormonster

            They made it in college. I think it’s on YouTube. How about Orgazmo?

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            No. Don’t think I even heard of that one. I still haven’t even watched the puppet one with Kim Jong. I have like a long queue of flicks that I never get around to, but thanks for reminding me. Gonna write it down and remember to watch them.

          • Cormonster

            Orgazmo has some hilarious parts. Trey plays a Mormon who, while out on a mission, gets caught up in the porn industry.

            Team America is one of my favorite comedies, and in a twisted way makes sense of US foreign policy. It comes down to 3 types of people in the world: dicks, pussies, and assholes. (Trying to stay on topic)

          • MB30SD

            AND it’s a musical!

          • Irish Sweetness

            …and members of F.A.G. !

          • Irish Sweetness

            DUDE! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ‘TEAM AMERICA’ ???
            (faints)

          • Irish Sweetness

            “From Chim-pan-A to chim-pan-Z ….”

  • shonbear

    whatever, i dont care if is a heto or homo, its innappropriate workplace discussion so leave it at home and go to work. It’s a personal choice keep it that way, personal, we don’t need press conferences to announce anybody’s sexual preferences, whether it’s boys, girls, animals multiple boys, multiple girls, multiple animals. It shouldnt be forced on the people who have a religious opinion about it just as the religious opinion should not be forced on the opposing positions. It’s funny to me how the religious people now are called bigots and haters because they believe in the bible, regardless of interpretations by different pulpits. Will religious people get any advocates when all of the homosexual rights activists treat them with bigotry and hatred, will they then be called religophobs?

    • MB30SD

      Shon!

      I confess. I am a reliophobe.

      • shonbear

        😎

      • Irish Sweetness

        Forgive him, brothers !

    • Doc Nitty

      …”it’s a personal choice“…

      Clearly you’ve never known somebody who’s actually gay.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        Being gay is sooo faux-pas this season…

        http://youtu.be/LazrAzBP_0I

        • MB30SD

          Dude, straight is the new gay

        • SC Dave

          “immediately after I outspritzen, I was immediately upstehen immediately afterward and ready to go again!”

          “… after my conversion could I choose to spend my life with a chick with a dick…”

          The dude it priceless.

      • shonbear

        Personal choice or natural in their make up for chemical reasons or whatever my point is that I don’t need to know. You are getting caught up in my personal choice comment which wasnt the foundation of my point. You don’t know whether I know gay people or not. I know and am close friends with many, but it is not something we normally discuss. The foundation of my argument is that for both straights and gay’s the workplace does not need to know. If people at the work place find out, then it is their responsiblity to not allow it to interfere with their responsiblity of getting their job done regardless of which side they fall on the gay/straight debate. For your information, there are many gays that choose the life, my vast experience with gays (not as vast of course as Jeff’s Theater world I’m sure) women are more likely to choose than men. I know many lesbians that have chosen the lifestyle because of being burned by men.
        Bottom line is this example for instance: if you go for a job interview, then you shouldnt have to tell the interviewer if you are gay or straight. It should be an illegal question to ask. The same goes for calling press conferences to announce to the world about your sexual orientation. The world doesnt need to know of this about their “personal” life if the word choice was bad.

        • Doc Nitty

          sheesh

  • shonbear

    let me make myself clear here, the bottom line is I just want the guy to tackle good (unless he plays for the packers) I dont care what he does off the field save breaking the law.

  • NewBearInTown

    “When you are naked and there is a woman nearby, do you assume that woman will not be able to suppress the urge to drop down to her knees and throw you inside her mouth simply because you are the gender she sexually prefers? Just because homosexuals like men doesn’t mean they like ALL men..”
    I don’t think that’s what Vilma is saying at all. Vilma is saying that he would be uncomfortable showering in front of a woman. Straight men understand that if a woman – even a no especially attractive woman – showered in front of them it would be uncomfortable and difficult not to allow one’s eyes to wander. They therefore feel uncomfortable showering or dressing in front of women. Ignoring the male/female dichotomy here, a straight men assumes that a gay man would be the same way in the showers. Therefore, the hypothetical straight man is uncomfortable.
    Even if we eliminate showers; players still dress together, and come in and out of the showers together. Every gym I have gone to has individual shower stalls. But I still see naked men in those gyms coming in an out of the showers. Vilma is uncomfortable. If this is about creating a safe place to express feelings, etc. you have to let Jonathan Vilma be entitled to comfort/discomfort with his body.

    • johnnywad

      Wow. Very well said NB.

    • Doc Nitty

      Yes, very well said. But I think you hit the nail on the head on one thing. Showering in front of ANYONE is an uncomfortable situation. I also prefer to take my deuces alone. But if I had to pick someone to shower in front of; a woman, a straight man, or a gay man, I wouldn’t pick a woman unless she was planning on letting me have my way with her, simply because it would be hard (no pun intended) to hide my inevitable phallus. I guess I’d pick a straight man only because the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.

      In short, I don’t think it’s wrong for Vilma or anyone else to prefer not to shower in front a gay man. I would just hope that the “professionals” in the locker room would be able to get past it for the good of the team.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        Like I previously stated, I never showered with my teammates after the game. I went home tired, sweaty, and crusty, but I found having to take shower in front of 20+ swinging dicks in a dirty ass locker room some form of punishment.

      • NewBearInTown

        Exactly.

    • Doooonnnn’t Caaaaare!

      I would be interested to see if anyone calls you out like they call out Trac. Not many people on this blog believe what you believe New Bear. Trac is mocked and blasted for it, Jeff has utter contempt for religion and most of the other guys are probably indifferent.
      I would bet that no one says shit against your post. If Trac said the bible is against it he’d be blown apart. You are clearly orthodox and I’m always happy when you speak out on subjects to bring a perspective that most on the blog don’t share when it comes to religion.

      • Cormonster

        I get tired of all the religious bashing in society now. I find myself more and more often defending religious people and their beliefs, especially against some friends with far left political beliefs.

        • gpldan

          Religious types have perfected the art of turning tables, casting themselves as martyrs.

          Witness Fox News ‘War on Christmas’ dribble.

          • Cormonster

            Good point. My main beef is when ALL Christians are lumped together when one idiot like Rick Santorum makes an assinine comment.

          • NewBearInTown

            You’re so right. As a Jew I can attest to the total absence of persecution of my people for the past 100 years at least.

            Let me be clear on this. I don’t agree with the christian religion either, I practice a different religion with some rather important distinctions. And I’m not posting my own beliefs on this, I’m talking about the demographic that you called out. But so far you’ve done three things:
            (1) You’ve demonstrated a total lack of respect for a literal reading of the bible, which is a much bigger issue frankly than co-ed showers.
            (2) You’ve employed an ad hominem attack rather than a logical one, saying the players are listening to their pastor rather than actually thinking for themselves.
            (3) You’ve employed a second ad hominem now, saying we’re all “religious types” and we’re just turning the tables.

            What you haven’t done is step up and admit where you stand. You don’t want to give credit to those players’ religious beliefs because you don’t like religion. All the talk about teaching children differently is basically you saying that religion should not be taught to the next generation.

            Tell me I’m turning the tables all you want. You are being just as intolerant as the idiots who post anti-gay rhetoric. If you give respect, you will get respect.

          • SC Dave

            Amen brother NBiT!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Can you summarize where your beliefs differ from the mainstream Jewish ones & Christianity, NBIT ?

            Just curious. I don’t buy into any religion other than Buddhism (because it’s based on pure logic/rationality). I don’t buy into their organization though, because their temples are covered in gold and Buddha would cough up a nut if he was here now and saw that. They completely missed the point.

          • NewBearInTown

            And everything on Fox News is dribble.

            Likewise most of the other 24 hour news networks. John Stewart is spot on when he says they’ve ruined the public for legitimate news coverage.

          • SC Dave

            No amen here though – John Stewart is a douche bag and not qualified to judge Fox News or much of anything.

          • Irish Sweetness

            John Stewart? C’mon! He;s the only one on Fox worth listening to! Smart and funny, nobody else is on there. Bill o’Reilly is a dick. That Hannity was a tool, and the coven of WASP witches they have on there is sickening.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I believe in aliens. Trac believes in the zombie Jewish carpenter’s son. MB believes in boobies .. .and NBIT believes in …. what is it brah?

        Great point though, shed any light on anything Jewish …and you’re not a Jew … then the old anti-semite card comes out.

        Nobody in Hollywood EVER talks about how Jewish it is. I guess they want to work again. Jewish-owned/run and almost entirely cast with Jewish actors. Molly Ringwald used to be a leading actress. I rest my case. People are afraid of the anti-semite tag like it was child-rape .. except for maybe Mel Gibson …

        • NewBearInTown

          Jews are not ashamed to admit that they have done very well in LA, and that there are a lot of rich guys over there with significant influence. But there’s no conspiracy in being successful in business.
          NBIT is an orthodox Jew that believes in the Torah. I can’t just summarize in a two line sound byte beyond that. That’s kind of like asking a scientist to summarize science.
          I will say that if you go see the Westerners around the Dalai Lama, you will find that quite a large number of them are Jewish.
          The biggest difference between Budhism and Judaism that can be stated broadly is that Budhists believe in transcending the physical world. A Budhist that has “made it” so to speak, would have no need of physical possessions and no interest in the physical world. Judaism has elements of that for sure, but ultimately the religion is very much about living in the physical world. I heard one Rabbi say once that you don’t really understand the Torah until you have a mortgage, a car payment and tuition bills for your kids.

          • MB30SD

            Heeeere come the jew jokes. Ha.

            I’ve always thought that if I was interested in religion I’d be Buddhist. Not popular la fake for show style, but real style… for its openness and purity.

            And irish you’ll find a large portion of Jews at the top of most successful business fields. We do very well in the medical and legal arenas as well boobala

          • gpldan

            Jews were persecuted not as much for the religion of Judiasm as the race. Jew denotes both a race and a religion.

            And sorry, no respect for religion will be forthcoming. NBIT can suck it up and read a little Hitchens and we’ll talk.

            http://www.amazon.com/God-Is-Not-Great-Everything/dp/0446697966

          • Irish Sweetness

            Religion seems to be a very perverted offshoot of the deepest question there is. I don’t mind writers having a go at religion, people like Hitchens aren’t known for anything else, other than being drunk. But debunking the idea of God based on what a bunch of humans do in his name … it’s just piss-poor logic.

            Case in point : where do we come from? Why are we here? My own weak and stupid offering is that we were genetically engineered by a superior/older/smarter species of life using apes as a petri dish, and that there are many different races of ‘man’ in the experiment, being run by different species of ‘alien’ for want of a better term.

            But who created them? The great circular question. That’s why I stopped thinking about God about 20 years ago. I don’t know and never will as long as I remain in this body. People who say there definitely is a supreme being, or that there definitely isn’t, are equally arrogant based on absolutely no information whatsoever – but once you start fighting between those groups .. that’s just insane, and that’s why why are better off as a planet without it.

            Yours

            Jack Handey

          • gpldan

            I like the idea in Prometheus, that big white aliens that vaguely resemble Kris Humphreys genetically created our race as a kind of experiment until we crucified Jesus, then they got pissed at us and found the Alien bug race on a distant planet and were going to send them to Earth to clean the planet up but were diverted by their own inability to control the Alien bugs, because those fuckers are a nasty bit of kit once you let them out of the cage.

          • Irish Sweetness

            No doubt, MB, no doubt. It’s hardly a conspiracy that our Jewish brothers win a quarter of the science Nobels (I have no knowledge of other categories). Just smarter than the average bear I guess ….

          • Irish Sweetness

            Thanks NBIT, yes, it was a stupid question expecting you to be able to give me a soundbite that summed up your religion – I thought you were part of some small offshoot of Judaism. Orthodox Jew, that’ll do. I’m a lapsed Catholic that lost faith in a church full of people who just didn’t seem to get their own religion a la Mel Gibson. Love one another. Forgive those who trespass against you. Love and forgiveness, it’s pretty simple. Growing up, I couldn’t understand it when I heard Catholics sleight other religions – “my Father’s house has many rooms” – they completely miss the point.

            So you are aware of the Nephilim ? What’s your take on that?

          • NewBearInTown

            What about them?

    • Sactowns#1

      Idk man… I watched Starship Troopers and they all seemed fine showering together in a prefessional environment.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      “…anti-religious accusations of bigotry and backwardness don’t move the country toward that reality…they draw the battle lines.”

      Exactly. The Bill Maher’s, Rush Limbaugh’s, Ann Coulter’s and MSNBC commentators polarize, they do not allow for discourse. Jeff has done the same thing with this piece. Tolerance is too often a one-way street.

      Bravo, NBIT. Bravo.

      • NewBearInTown

        What? Oh, I thought this was just the latest 500 word essay because I lost the Superbowl bet…

      • Irish Sweetness

        I watched that Maher ‘movie’ Religulous, or whatever – he’s just a pastiche of himself. Live and let live. You don’t believe in God, we get it, just let it go.

  • MB30SD

    can someone help me out with something.

    Mandy Patinkin… I. Don’t. Get. It.

    I think he’s been ok in some rolls, but I just kind of don’t get it. Little help?

    • AlbertInTucson

      Can’t help you here, MB, because I dont get it, either.

    • Irish Sweetness

      You watched the video? Wait, I can’t really say anything after my post above …

  • AlbertInTucson

    I am officially bored with the Michael Sam discussion but am resigned to the fact that we’re STUCK with it for the foreseeable future.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)
    • MB30SD

      Hahahaha,… turrifying.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        Gummy barchen…

        Who knew that gummy bears were the epitome of american diversity?

        • Irish Sweetness

          Good lord. I saaay.

          Forgive my lack of knowledge re gay lingo, but is the “angry inch” a risque double entendre for ummm … y’know …. a “rusty bullet hole” …. “the old japanese flag” ….. “the busted couch” ….”the screaming badger” … erm … the Great British bum-hole?

          • MB30SD

            Dirty balloon knot?

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Thanks for that imagery, MB. I was eating.

          • MB30SD

            welcome.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Dirty balloon knot!

  • AlbertInTucson

    Then again, you COULD be a Cleveland Browns Fan. Yeesh. They would have to get more organized just to be considered a circus.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Hey, there’s another good nickname for ‘bumhole’ … “Sorry luv, do you take it up the old cleveland brown by any chance?”

      [American vernacular for the English verbiage for “smashing her back doors in”, or Antipodean usage “taking it up the gicker”]

      • MB30SD

        Put it in the bottom… it IS in the bottom

      • johnnywad

        Please see my reply to MB above. I want you to start a blog. Just write. Whatever’s in your head. Put it out there. I for one, will follow it.

  • NewBearInTown
    • Irish Sweetness

      Is he a baller like Michael Sam …?

      • MB30SD

        I see what you did there.

        How long have you been waiting for an entre to use that. Nice.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Thank you. I am also available for children’s parties.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Sam just needs to sniff that B gap and he’s in there like Flynn .. up to the eggs.

          Sorry.

          I hope he plays the Bears .. he’ll smash up the middle passage but avoid Bush like the plague.

          Sorry.

          End this thread Jefe, for the love of cock .. I mean God.

  • MB30SD
    • gpldan

      You posted that car before. The GT-R1. You must really like it.

      • MB30SD

        I did? Shit. No, just saw it highlighted on yahoo and took a look. DIdn’t remember it, but looks nasty (good).

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    “Until the preaching of this bigotry and hatred is no longer commonplace in the houses of worship, the existence of this bigotry and hatred will swell in the hearts of those populating their pews”

    Don’t hold your breath, Jeff.

    A lot of preachers will NEVER stop preaching that homosexuality is an abomination to God because it’s in the Old Testament (or Hebrew Bible, if you will).

    Never mind that Jesus never spoke about homosexuality, and that he said he came to abolish the Law. I’m not going to get all theological here because like I stated before, arguing about such silliness like is God a trinity or if Jesus was really GOD is like arguing that dragons are superior to unicorns. Metaphysics.

    • Trac

      The cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to those who believe, it is the power of God.

      • MB30SD

        Bingo!

        If I believe in and give jesus… A Jewish carpenter… my ‘unconditional’ love I get to go to heaven and eat caramel swirl vanilla bean ice cream for eternity. .. oh, and all the rest of you who don’t accept MY very specific brand of God and salvation even though yours came way before mine… well, you are all proper fucked and you are ALL going to burn in MY definition of hell that you don’t even know about or believe in.

        Hahahaha… THAT ^ is why religions who preach that kind of singular, specific all or nothing path are a joke. How can you honestly take something like that seriously. Smmfhvv

        • tobijohn

          I don’t recall the nuns or Jesuits ever telling me that those who don’t believe in the Roman Catholic version of Jesus are doomed to hell. I actually remember asking about this as a child and as near as I can remember, I was left with the impression that they would just be wandering around aimlessly in the afterlife, and they were to be pitied..

          • MB30SD

            HAHAHAHAHA… how big of them!

          • Irish Sweetness

            In a sense, being a catholic is cool. You run around doing what you want, then all you have do is take confession … and hey presto .. you’re good with God and you get your afterlife ticket back, a little smudged, but good to go.

          • Irish Sweetness

            What confused me about being raised RC was that all of these heathens who didn’t accept the salvation .. wouldn’t God just forgive them and let them in to heaven anyway ? Aren’t we supposed to forgive those who have trespassed against us and love everyone as we ourselves would be loved? I stopped going to churches when I was 14 as a result.

          • MB30SD

            Exfuckingzactly. .. it’s the brutal and indescribable hypocrisy of it all that really makes me sick/laugh. Just ridiculous.

          • CanadaBear

            I was already having trouble with religion and one Good Friday I came home and had a bologna sandwich. Once I realized I ate meat on not just Friday but Good Friday and I wasn’t struck dead, everything unraveled. It didn’t help that the 350 lb monsignor that drove a new Caddy every year, berated all the people that didn’t tithe. He kept pounding home the point the 10% tithe was gross not take home pay. It pissed me off tremendously. We didn’t have much growing up and I was shocked that this tub of goo said we were bad Catholics because we didn’t give that fat, rich prick more money. It was all over but the shouting for me from that point on.

          • CanadaBear

            Limbo Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • tobijohn

            That’s right, that’s where you go. No soup for you!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Or it’s cold, celery soup.

            I used to have this girlfriend who acted like she was Spanish (but was actually Northern Irish protestant – there’s a match made in heaven)… who got gnarly and insisted Gazpacho wasn’t ‘cold soup’ … it was ‘chilled’. @#$$%!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Great little body though. Size 8 below, size 10 on top with fabulous tits. That’s why we do it. That’s the only reason we take it from them.

          • Irish Sweetness

            The very definition of purgatory is being a Detroit Lions fan.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        I have nothing against those who believe; I do take issue when what they believe sanctions hatred, bigotry, violence and denial of rights.

        As John Stuart Mill said, “You have the right to swing about your arms freely, just so long as you don’t punch me in the face.”

        • NewBearInTown

          My religion sanctions hatred of theft, murder, adultery, idolotry, lying under oath. And those are just some of the ten commandments. You think that’s a problem?

          My religion sanctions violence to protect one’s homeland. You think that’s a problem?

          My religion doesn’t talk much about rights, it talks about obligations. There’s no freedom of speech, there’s the obligation to speak respectfully and truthfully and to avoid unnecessarily harming someone with your words.

          You have a problem with any of that?

          Bigotry? I’m not sure what that word really means.

          What you have a problem with is the concept of absolute truth. If you don’t agree with a religious tenet, you don’t think its fair for someone to tell you that you’re wrong. You want to simply “make your own truth.” That’s fine if you’re talking about which NFL team is the best (duh), but if you’re talking about whether its dangerous to shoot heroin, you’re not making your own truth, you’re being an idiot.

          The trick with religious issues like afterlife, piety, etc. is that there’s no way to verify the truth, unless you believe in some kind of prophecy. You lack faith (I say that as a fact, not an insult) and therefore there is nothing a religious person of any faith can say to you to change your mind about these things. Alternatively, you have faith in something, but its not what (let’s say…) Tim Tebow believes. So Tebow can’t change your mind… even if he wins a playoff game on an awesome fourth quarter throw.

          • SC Dave

            Faith and reason are separate realms and cannot be meaningfully expressed in terms of one another.

          • CanadaBear

            Like Archie Bunker said, “Faith is something nobody in his right mind would believe.” Works for me.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Let me ask you this NB, based on your faith, would you vote for a proposal to ban gay marriage?

          • NewBearInTown

            I’ve thought about this quite a bit. Its not so simple.
            Example I gave someone recently who said that the Judaism is flatly in favor of such a proposal: 70 year old man has been living with his “husband” for 50 years. He has an estranged sister he doesn’t really like that he hasn’t spoken with in 50 years and no other relatives. He is in the hospital and unable to speak. Difficult decisions need to be made about treatment and possibly end of life issues. Who should the hospital call? There is nothing in Judaism to say that anyone but the husband should be called.
            But the Torah does not support, nor really recognize, the institution of gay marriage. And it creates problems to do so. In Chicago, the Catholic church got out of the adoption business because the city said they would have to service gay couples. As a result, a bunch of kids that could have been placed in good homes have to wait that much longer. And while the Catholics weren’t helping gay couples that could provide good homes, they were helping a lot of people find kids. I think that’s a tragedy frankly.
            So after much deliberation, I currently believe that the government should get out of the marriage business. We don’t “ban” or “sanction” marriages. Instead of getting rid of domestic partners (which the supreme court said can’t be separate but equal to marriages), we get rid of marriage. A religious ceremony creating a marriage should be a valid basis to form a domestic partnership, but beyond that any two people should be able to register one. That includes siblings, that includes platonic roommates, that includes mixed gender couples and gay couples. Remove the religious institution of marriage from the equation and the issue becomes much less charged.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I love that the RC church has a problem with gay couples adopting kids (which I actually agree with since kids need both male and female role models in the nuclear family) .. yet they protect the systematic child-buggerers and brutal institutions where orphans – defenceless children – were place in their care.

            “and the meek shall inherit the earth …” ? Not likely. Get placed in a Catholic care institution and it’s far more likely you’ll get your rectum ruptured though.

          • Irish Sweetness

            That all sounds solid to me, NBIT. Good for you.

          • Irish Sweetness

            When I first read that I saw “My religion sanctions theft, murder, adultery, idolotry, lying under oath…” – and I thought “That’s the religion for ME! I knew NBIT was into something!””

    • Irish Sweetness

      (appears from behind closed curtains …. looks both ways, then whispers in hushed tones …)

      Apparently ….Jesus liked it up the “tradesman’s entrance” … which is how he avoided Mary Magadelene’s comely charms …

      (taps index finger against nose and winks)

      • MB30SD

        Hahahahahahaha… dude, you are on fire and cracking me the fuck up this fine morning

        • johnnywad

          So how do we get Irish some money? He’s far too creative and writes too well to make $1000/ month teaching English to kids who don’t give a fuck. Irish if you start a blog, I will follow it. Just put your thoughts on the page and let it spin totally out of control.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I’ll suck cocks for say …. $200 ?… although I guess I’d have to go the whole hog for that ….if I get my teeth removed, do you think I could charge more?

          • johnnywad

            Okay okay. Point taken. And no. Leave your teeth in. A good smile is as important as anything for cock suckers.

          • MB30SD

            An upbeat attitude helps too

          • MB30SD

            That depends, do I get to be the one to punch them in first?

            …see this is the kind of stuff that got richie incognito in trouble. Buncha pussies out there.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Stoppit. Still no on Richie.
            Wait …can… he play ….center ?

        • Irish Sweetness

          I’m kidding. I have never heard any such tales of Jesus being a chocolate-miner.
          {BIGOT!}
          Okay, I’m a raspberry-rabbit rammer, then …

    • bearsfantillend

      JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! you are all going to hell for such blasphemy. I hope God strikes you all down with a god damn bolt of lightning. your only salvation is to ‘Tebow’ for hours a day begging for forgiveness.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        If by Tebowing for hours, you mean throwing a football like it’s thanksgiving turkey – DONE.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Hell won’t be so bad. At least we know the tunes will be good and the chicks are bad. Place will be teeming with drugs too.

        Bing bong …. next stop ….Hades… end-station …..please make sure your you have all your belongings with you and mind the gap.

        WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! PARRRRTAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

        Farley, Hicks, Hartman and Belushi are picking me up off the train. I’ll send you guys a postcard. And you know he Devil is a bears fan …… we win the whole thing every year down there… the Honey Bears are all blacks or Asians and they get nasty with it at half-time …. damn … I wanna hang ten on the lake of fire right now. Who’s with me ?

        Last call ….

    • Irish Sweetness

      Is viciously attacking someone’s religion not also an example of bigotry and hatred ?

      Clearly Jesus never spoke about homosexuality because he was a bummer himself.

      (checks the skies for lightning bolts)

      C’mon lads, we’ve only got this thread to get it all out, before it gets pushed back in. Etc.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        I’m not attacking anyone’s religion. Lot’s of religions are very positive. There’s an episcopal church around the corner that welcomes all races, sex, gender, and sexual preference.

        They have female priests and gays take the Eucharist. They help out the poor and create fundraisers for vets. Heck, they even hold free classical concerts and meditation classes.

        I don’t belong to it, but that church seems a ok to me.

        • MB30SD

          Free meditation class. .. any hot chicks?

        • Irish Sweetness

          I was just going to say … I’ll bet the priests are all queer there …. how do they get around the old “…and man shall not lie with man ..” thing?

          Disclaimer : I get that a lot of kids sign up to defend their country, but are not necessarily cool with invading smaller countries full of brown people to do it.

          But churches doing fundraisers for vets? That’s weird …. shouldn’t it be fundraisers for … I don’t know … the innocent victims of war? The poor bastards who get labelled ‘collateral damage’ whose countries are left in ruins without running water and medicine ? I’m pretty sure vets aren’t included in the sympathy boat there. They were busy pulling triggers at innocent civilians on their videogame screens five minutes ago from the safety of their blackhawks.

          I have to shake my head at the national outpourings of sympathy on Fox when some kid comes back from Iraq with no legs because of some IED going off. Sorry, fuck’em. Shit like that tends to happen when you storm into someone else’s country for no good reason and start blowing stuff up to a backtrack of Metallica. People have a right to defend their country, like NBIT says. Defend your country, sure – at all costs – but … y’know … do it from your OWN country .. and when the United fucking Nations tell you it’s not cool (that’s y’know – the rest of the world) … LISTEN TO THEM! Don’t stomp on an ant-hill and then complain about it when you get stung. Am I wrong?

          Get some! works both ways.

          If you signed up for it, then you fucking signed up for it.

          My new blog is … hey …. where did everybody go ?

  • Irish Sweetness

    With all this talk of homosexuality, there is a deeper, darker issue that has recently surfaced on the blog. Some of our number have casually dropped into conversation that they listen to Motley Crue.

    Each to his own, I know, I know. None of my business what people listen to in the privacy of their own homes, but what if you have children present? What kind of lesson is that for them? Monkey see monkey do.

    Maybe it started when you were younger. You were listening to Bon Jovi’s Runaway … your big sister’s hair products were left lying around. There was that big diffuser of hers … Jon’s hair looked so … lifted … and puffy .. you found out what conditioner he used by reading your sister’s Teen Idol. JBJ were the gateway band. You could go either way listening to JBJ. You could dig ‘livin on a prayer’ – you were still young. ‘Wanted – dead or alive’ could be enjoyed by the whole family. The ‘New Jersey’ album was the jump-off point, you appreciated the rockiness of it, the song-writing, the hooks, but Metallica were beckoning. Melodic hardness, rough riffs. No songs about blonde chicks with big tits, but self-immolating ballads of soul death and odes to the futility of war. Songs of pain, manly man-pain, that had clearly been written with a thesaurus close by. It was the new age of heavy music that Sabbath had started so many years before, the path beaten by Iron Maiden … all across the Atlantic, brought by a young Lars Ulrich to two other angry young men in Hetfield and Burton. No hairspray. No spandex. No sticking out tongues to the camera, with a little too much mascara around the eyes. Just tight jeans, biker jackets and jack Daniels. More Lemmy, less Kiss.

    But you took the other turn in the path. You saw Tommy lee, Nikki Sixx and Vince Neil one day, surrounded by babes and flames and white tigers .. and thought YEAH! … ROCKIN’ ….
    …and before you knew it …. you were buying Wasp albums and listening to Twisted Sister.

    Think of the children.

    Do the right and thing and take that highway to hell.

    • Irish Sweetness

      {Hey Irish, what about Queensryche .. .didn’t they look kind of …}

      TALK TO THE HAND!

      {and wait …. on the inlay of ‘Load’ didn’t Metallica cut their hair … and isn’t that mascara Kirk’s wearing ..?}

      GET BENT!

      (slams door)
      (gently re-opens door)

      NTTAWWT !

    • MB30SD

      Oh ye of such musical imperative and distinction.

      I know you by now Irish McMcirish… I can almost see your
      fire ginger hair and milky white complexioned skinniness bobbing and weaving to
      the swarthy beat of Hungry Like the Wolf when it heavily slides out of your pirated
      Thai radio waves. Jiving out to Don’t Need Nothing But a Good Time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgS9yrN45qw),
      nodding your head to Like a Virgin.

      Look, we all have our adolescent nostalgic guilty pleasures.
      And I sir, shall not feel ashamed of the sweet sticky textures of mine.

      Bonjovi is terrible, save for the two mainstream ballads you
      mentioned. Metallica… sell outs and tools. Turrible terrible music. I was one
      of the first 50 employees at MP3.com, and still heavily believe in freeing
      music from l’etablissement. Metallica SUED THEIR FANS for downloading their
      music off the innerness. I didn’t like them before that, but after that… Philistines!!
      Meathead douches that just didn’t and don’t get it. Besides, there’s this: http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Metallica%2Bhits%2Bthe%2Bbeach%2BQKq0Xuj3aBTl.jpg

      Look, Motley Crue, like Poison, is a feel-good guilty
      pleasure that harkens back to visions of fogged car windows and handjobs in my
      high school parking lot. Of drunken backyard keg parties where that one flood
      light blinded you to everyone but the 3-4 people standing right next to you…
      where the smell of weed, cheap beer, young pussy, and the naïve promise of a problemless
      bright future hung heavy in the air.

      I shall, my good man, attend the Crue show when it comes to
      my town… in full 90’s hair band regalia (http://www.spirithalloween.com/images/spirit/products/interactivezoom/processed/01071455.interactive.a.jpg).
      And I shall, relive my carefree past, yet for a single, free and consequenceless
      night. You may now carry on sir… yeah, that bowwowwow still sounds good doesn’t it.

      • gpldan

        I watched that preview for the new Metallica movie on Vudu. The one where they play on the stage while some skate punk braves the apocolypse to get them some McGuffin.

        Wow. So so so bad. So stupid.

        • MB30SD

          No love for those idiots. Not at all a fan (that and their music sucks)

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          You will watch it, and you will like it.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Drunk Lars in ‘Some kind of monster’ at the auction of his paintings is funny.

          The cunt.

      • Doc Nitty

        I, for one, would stand proudly beside you at said show if I could. And while some of my musical choices (Newer Def Leppard, Cinderalla,…) are a bit embarrassing to admit I listened to, most of that shit I still love. Older Motley Crue, Pre-pyromania def leppard, Pre black album metallica, any megadeth or suicidal tendencies (all i wanted was a pepsi!).

        I never had the big hair, but I did used to rock the mullet proudly. With stripes shaved into the side of my head.

        Long live 80’s Hard Rock/Metal. Headbangers Ball forever!

        • MB30SD

          DOC!!!!

          Howzit my maingses?

          • Doc Nitty

            Aaight. You? Been missing you sons a bitches…

          • MB30SD

            NICE!

            nice to have you back my maingses.

            Gotta gets me some PS4 so we can all hook up and shoot it out again soon.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Ai’ight Doc! ‘Sup bitch?

          • MB30SD

        • Irish Sweetness

          (checks memory …blushes …and holds hand up)

          I … may … at one point ….. have listened ….. to some Cinderella … .. we were young ….exchanging music … I was experimenting … I was open to new things … {FUCK!}

          I also listened to Heart (tell me they didn’t kill recently with Stairway to Heaven at the Led Zep Kennedy tribute!) …. Helloween … and ZZ Top … and (cough) Def Leppard …Megadeth … Sacred Reich … Sepultura .. AC/DC …Van Halen, of course …and have no problem admitting I listened to Dave Lee Roth.

          Admittedly, and without prejudice, I have seen Bon Jovi live (1987) … although I fell asleep(drunk) for Lita Ford’s set.

          But I NEVER EVER listened to The Scorpions … or the Crue … or goddamit … Poison. And if you ever bought a Europe album ….well then you might as well just start sucking a big bag of dirty dicks right now.

          NTTAWWT.

          (wait, no there probably is … if it’s a really big bag)

          • MB30SD

            Heracy!!!

            Dude… poison rocked out with their make up smeared cocks out. Fuck yes poison!!

            And van Halen with dlr. .. dude… rock royalty.

            Fuck Alice Cooper. Fuck Neil Young. Fuck bon Jovi AND lita Ford… and the massive bag of stolen tj dicks they drag around

          • Irish Sweetness

            I thought you were joking about Poison ! POSION? CC Deville? COME ON!

            MB likes these bitches !! It’s recorded forever here on the internet !! – check out this interview with Bitch Michaels and CC Deville. I had a girlfriend that looked like Brett Michaels and she was hot.

            Q: What’s got 140 legs and is completely hairless ?

            A: The front row of a Poison concert.

          • MB30SD

            BOOM!

        • Irish Sweetness

          Cut my hair when I was about 31 man. End of an era. The final realization that you are not your hair. I believe that India Arie wrote a song about that.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Just listened to Suicidal the other day. Still holds up.

      • Irish Sweetness

        (gets all uppity)
        What’s wrong with Duran Duran? I was like … nine years old … there’s nothing wrong witht hat. I can be into Shakin Stevins and Motorhead at the same time too if I want.

        I did purchase the picture disc version of the ‘Like a virgin’ album … technically … yes ….. FUUUUCK!

        (hates self as only a RC can)
        {THE BASTARD CAN SEE INSIDE ME!]

        BTW – I have never seen Metallica live exactly BECASUE they sued US. I bought all of their albums up to Load, but would never give them the price of a concert ticket because of that. If I buy your album and then I want to get your MP3s off teh web rather than rip them from CD … I’ll fucking do it. I always hated Lars, he’s a dick. Kings of metal though … All. Hail. Metallica.

        METAL UP YOUR ASS!!!

        • MB30SD

          Fuck metalica.

          Long live Vincent Neil!

          VIVA LA REVOLUCION BITCHES!!!

      • Irish Sweetness

        Dammit mang, your first paragraph got me good – only one of my oldest friends could have written something like that. uncanny.

    • CanadaBear

      Bon Jovi fan’s motto, “Don’t bore us, get to the chorus.”

    • CanadaBear

      I used to be the same way and a real music snob. I loved Faces and saw them 3 times. Super fun band live. Then Rod Stewart quit, went solo and then disco. I stopped being such a snob after that! You like what you like.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        I TRY not to be, but it’s hard! I don’t know, certain music I can understand why people like, even though it’s not my cup of tea.

        For instance, my cousin loves Frank Sinatra. I like Sinatra. I don’t mind it when it’s on. But I don’t listen to it on my own, nor do I own any Sinatra CDs (CDs, what are those?!).

        But when people voluntarily listen to bands like “Nickle Back” or “Creed”, I seriously question their judgement.

        • MB30SD

          my bro is one of those people. While I was very into Janes in 89-90-91 (and now… actually it’s playing right now), he was into whatever pop garbage was on the ra-dio.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Well, my older sister liked Paula Abdul and Milli Vanilli, so I was abused as a child.

          • MB30SD

            jesus, you poor bastard

          • Irish Sweetness

            Is there a support group for that? jesus.

            Straight up my snatch, by Paula Abdul.

          • Cormonster

            Some of my friends are flying to Vegas for Jane’s Nothing Shocking shows.

            Jane’s at the first Lollapalloozza was mind blowing. One of the best concerts in my life.

          • MB30SD

            I had a tix to the irvine show in… 90 I think? Got fucking sick and missed it. I was so bummed.

          • Cormonster

            I couldn’t believe it when they quit after that tour. Maybe they thought they peeked with Ritual.

            Lollapalloozza was a culture shock for me. Never seen so many tats and piercings at one show back in the day.

            Man, I feel bad for you.

          • Irish Sweetness

            You would have been bummed at the concert anyway.

            Bada-tish!

          • Irish Sweetness

            I didn’t like Jane’s, but I respected those that did, for exactly the reason you mentioned. It wasn’t on the radio. Unfortunately “Evvvv-ry rose has its thorn …” was. And Europe, and The Scorpions.

            When I lived and worked outside Munich one summer, everybody would clock my long hair and ask me if I liked the Scorpions.

            Mochten Sie eine punch in zee face, oder?

            BTW – David Hasselhoff was fucking HUGE in Germany in the early nineties. Megastar. Bigger than anyone. As a ROCK STAR !! You couldn’t make that up. There were huge posters of him everywhere, lying sprawled out like a porn star in his leather jacket. The big girl.

            When it comes to music that’s newer than three hundred years old, Germans haven’t got a fucking clue. They love rock music, but they don’t “get it”. They get sucked into liking the joke stuff and thinking it’s real.

            {Wasn’t that the summer of ’92 Irish? The one when the only two tapes you had in your personal cassette player were the Wayne’s World OST and Chicago’s greatest hits …. because you’d just broken up with the love of your life?}

            Fuck off!

          • NewBearInTown

            Wayne’s World Soundtrack and Chicago’s Greatest Hits are both great albums.

          • MB30SD

            I always make the argument that Perry Farrell was the guy who really started the grunge thing. And while Jane’s wasn’t grunge as it came to be, they started that whole feel/attitude. Kurt def took it mainstream, but mother fucker is Jane’s wasn’t a complete and total apocalyptic and seismic shift in music, I dont know who is.

            The Beasties are another one of those for me although they became more and more mainstream as time went on. But for me… the one band that changed me most and that still takes me right back to my carefree high school days is jane’s.

        • tobijohn

          Glad to know I’m not the only one whose skirt isn’t blown up by those two bands..

        • Irish Sweetness

          I probably listen to more Frank S, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin & Tony Bennett now more than I ever did. Crooners, man. Classy. Fuck it, I listen to Vera Lynn. Can’t get enough of ’em. Why? Music. Brass. People can’t write songs anymore. I listened to Nat King Cole singing ‘Stardust’ today and I told my teacher friends exactly that (and the 52 year-old agreed with me …fuck…) But that shit is golden! Can’t be touched! Shits and pisses what passes for music today. Kids listen to stuff because it looks good. K-pop is HUGE over here, you get any of that? A bunch of skinny white Korean whores thrown together in groups only defined by the number of girls in them – “we’re different, we’re the only band with 11 girls in it”. all sound the same, look the same, all wear blue contact lenses – which just makes asian chicks look scary.

          It’s amazing how few kids know the Beatles’ music. I’m surrounded by kids everyday – it’s only the smart ones that might listen to Sinatra or know that kind of sound even exists. They’re normally musos too. I love weaning a kid off Linkin Park and showing them where that really comes from, and what real metal is, not the diluted corporate hip-hop-shite the market peddles as art.

          Almost all of modern pop now is just regenerated re-mixed 80s pop. They take the hook out of an 80s track,and stick it on replay with the Fugees over it. The popular music of today has no soul, no identity other than rehashing what used to be good. Even the hip-hop sucks now, and these fools are all writing songs about getting rich and pretending that they were dangerous people back in the day. kanye West singing “stadium status!”. Wanker. Nelly or Fifty still rapping about selling drugs and banging chicks in hospitality rooms and counting their roll. Fuck you. What was old skool hip-hop about? It was the poetry of the streets, back when Timbaland was a poet himself. Now it’s all Jay-Z the sell-out corporate cocksucker squirting the devil’s juice over every little shit-stain that his label throws at him.

          Anybody listen to the Carpenters ?…. DAMMIT – I’M GAY A’IGHT ? I’M GAY ALREADY!

          • MB30SD

            I HATE the beatles. Couple songs I like, the rest. pass.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      “Truth is disputable. Taste is not.” – Hume (in KISS make up).

  • MB30SD

    Check this out… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBEI2lBHz3M

    I’m not a biologist, but elephants are one of my favorite animals and I know a bit about them. The reason the driver didn’t drive off was because that would have caused him to charge.

    Now, this is an Indian elephant (luckily cause if it was an African eli ther would all be proper fucked), that has obviously been habituated. I don’t know the circumstances, but it seems like he was either just very curious or he’s been fed by people in buckies like that before. You can tell he wasn’t angry because of a couple tell-tale signs. He didn’t charge or mock charge first. He ran up to the car like he was excited. He was casually flapping his ears and was still chewing as he checked things out.

    Seems to me that he was basically just really curious and checking it all out… or he was expecting food. Really interesting vid. That all said, this type of close interaction by a huge wild animal is really scary/exhilarating. I’ve had 3 run ins with African elis… not this crazy, but still gets your heart going… it’s inherent and automatic.

    • CanadaBear

      Reminds me of the dumb asses that get up close and personal with Bears and Buffalos in the National Parks. Yes, most people survive these up close and personal encounters but …

      When i was a guide for bike tours in the Canadian Rockies we had a tour of Brits. Every tour participant wants to see moose and bears. As the week wears on the longer people go without seeing bears the bigger the talk. One of the guys kept running his mouth about how bears are more afraid of us than vice versa, he’s not afraid of them, etc. The last morning we’re in the van going to breakfast and on the shoulder of the road was the biggest grizzly I’ve ever seen. My brother-in-law stops the van across from the grizz. I start taunting the loud mouth to get out and take some pics because he’s not afraid, etc. Guess who stayed in the van?

    • Irish Sweetness

      Ever seen them dance, MB? My second house in Thailand was beside a green area, that one of the elephant rustlers would bring his elephant down to feed on in the early morning. (a common sight in rural areas is that of a guy bringing his elephant around to get money off people, who feed the elephant some shit – he’ll then go home and drink that money, the elephants are poorly treated and fed). One morning I saw this elephant outside and it was up on two legs doing this weird slow dance. I had a girl living with me and I said “Hey, wow, that’s cool, look at this!”. She looked out the window and matter-of-factly said that the elephant was sad. They dance like that when they’re sad.

      Smart creatures too. I once saw a two year-old elephant paint a picture of a tulip. Perfectly, in three different colours.

  • gpldan

    The screaming badger?

    #helpneeded

    • MB30SD

      loved that one.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Hee HEEE!

  • AlbertInTucson

    “Wow. Mind blown. And…probably not. RT @PaulPabst: Perloff said…Is Mount Rushmore on the Mount Rushmore of National Monuments?” Yes, DUH and these “”Who’s on your Mount Rushmore…” litmus tests have run their course.

  • gpldan

    Of the now $53B spent on the Olympics by the Commie pukes, it is estimated that almost half of that went to grift, The mafia class, controlled by Putin, probably accounts for $25B of the money. Outside analysts think that no more than $13B was actually spent in Sochi on Olympic buildings and stuff.

    It’s like if Moe Green ran Russia.

    • Irish Sweetness

      You have to hand it to Putin.
      I’d hire him to run my nightclub any day of the week – though I’d probably be washing dishes in the same place the following week, for no pay, looking through a window at him fucking my girlfriend, and he’d just be looking at me through the glass, expressionless.

  • CanadaBear

    Hey MB check out the avg speed for this stage. Boonen is skinny as hell and on fire. He’s one of my faves. The Classics with Boonen, Cancellara and Sagan are going to be awesome if all 3 of them are on form. OPQS is killing it in 2 races at the same time. The only guy on the team who isn’t killing it is Cav. Is he on the downside of his career? Might be.

    http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/tour-of-qatar-2014/stage-4/results

    • MB30SD

      Thanks Canada. Gotta get back into it.

      I am such a puss about riding when it gets cold. .. that said, it was 75 today. Hee hee

      • Irish Sweetness

        You got the first bit right, Poison fan.

        • Irish Sweetness

          One upped my own post there …. and replied to it. Problem?

    • Irish Sweetness

      I thought you were talking about a bunch of hair bands at lollapalooza.

  • gpldan
  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    aFor some reason, this didn’t post the first time. Anyhow, in all
    sincerity I would like to see a Christian Fundamentalist or Jewish
    Fundamentalist rebut this. I know we have a few on this blog, and I’m
    curious how it can indeed be rebutted. It’s fun too, so no need to get
    all indignant. For the rest, enjoy…

    Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice
    to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an
    observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
    Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
    following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast
    resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as
    informative:

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I
    have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
    knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
    homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
    18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
    some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws
    and how to follow them:

    When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
    claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
    Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
    price for her?

    I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
    period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how
    do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
    female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
    of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

    I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
    clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
    him myself?

    A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
    abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
    I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

    Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
    defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
    my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
    around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
    19:27. How should they die?

    I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
    crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
    two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
    curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
    trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? –
    Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family
    affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
    you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is
    eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan,

    Jim”
    http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.htmla

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Why can’t I copy/paste stuff?

    • gpldan

      Your hands are too sticky?

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        I use oven mitts like any civilized wanker thank you very much.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Babi mild … or johnson’s baby oil, but I find a mixture of both is best.

          • MB30SD

            …and the stranger

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    OK, so I TRIED to copy/paste this like 3 times already, and the post just keeps disappearing (Noah?). If someone could, go for it.

    IT’S A MUST READ for anyone remotely interested in humor and fundamentalism (rarely do the two mix!).

    I would also genuinely like to hear/read a rebuttal on it from a fundamental (Jew or Christian).

    Anyhow, it’s DEFINITELY worth a read, and is entitled, “Why Can’t I own a Canadian?”

    http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

    • NewBearInTown

      Ugh. This thing has been around longer than Dr. Laura. I was at a Passover Seder with her once, incidentally, but that’s another story.
      In short… its drivel. Cherry picking verses, reading them out of context and deliberately misreading some items to be funny. To me, this is about as funny as the 100th Jewish yeshiva student that laughs and says “Excuse me Charles Darwin, but who lit the spark on the big bang?”
      I’ll just answer the one line “Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?” They mistranslate the verse to say that “You are allowed to have male and female slaves from the nations around you.” Put aside the Torah definition of slavery (different from the American South definition in some pretty important ways). The verse is actually in the larger context of when slaves are released. A few verses earlier, the Torah states that Jewish slaves are released during the Jubilee year (every 50 years). Here the verse is starting to say that “If you have a slave from the nations around you, and there is no distinction between male and female” (not a literal translation). The next verses basically say that the 50 year automatic release does not apply.
      Slavery in those times was a way for people to pay off debt. In the US today, the 13th amendment prohibits forced labor. So what do we do? We put people in enough debt that they are forced to continue working. A rather terrible example of this is what happened to coal minors. The biblical slavery system actual provides much harsher rules requiring proper treatment of what would more properly be called indentured servants. The biblical slavery system also provides a clearer picture as to when certain slaves are released, and when certain slaves remain slaves for life but are taken care of in the process.
      Also worth mentioning that slavery was not encouraged in the Torah – quite the contrary, it was looked down upon for a person to become a slave. But it was also recognized that slavery was a common economic institution, and that workers’ rights needed to be protected in that context. There is nothing the Torah that would prevent a modern nation, such as the modern state of Israel, from banning slavery altogether. There are issues in the Torah that would prevent Israel from eliminating some of the worker’s rights provisions.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        You’re right from below, that I DO take issue with “absolute truth”. I was raised somewhat Catholic, and in that religion the Pope is supposed to be infallible. So which faith are we supposed to choose to believe in an absolute truth?

        And wasn’t it once an absolute truth that working on the Sabbath should absolutely be forbidden, and that it is punishable by stoning? When did that absolute truth change, or the other ones like shell fish, etc?

        I must say that I do not base my own morality on simple logic. I believe in empathy too, which might lead a little to moral relativism because it’s based on one’s individual compassion, but even Jews themselves have laxed on following the over 600+laws.

        In fact, I thought it was the job of Rabbis to correctly interpret the laws to contemporary issues so that it becomes adaptable. Maybe I’m wrong, but that doesn’t seem like “absolute truth” to me.

        • NewBearInTown

          A few points (I really have to get off the soapbox, too much typing):
          (1) Its still forbidden to work on the Sabbath. The death penalty was only imposed in very rare cases (the Talmud says a court that does an execution every 70 years is a “bloody” court). These days we do not have an established religious Court that would have the authority to impose the death penalty, so it is never imposed. But yeah, I don’t roll on Shabbos. That hasn’t changed.
          (2) Shellfish hasn’t changed either. Shrimp aren’t kosher. Never have been, never will be.
          (3) Neither of those prohibitions apply to you because you aren’t Jewish. Judaism isn’t a religion per se, its also an ethnicity. Only a person born to a Jewish mother or who has a proper conversion is Jewish, and there is no requirement to undergo such a conversion. Non-Jews are only obligated in seven general prohibitions which are (1) Belief in the ultimate power of G-d; (2) Not worshipping any false gods; (3) No killing; (4) No stealing; (5) No cruelty to animals; (6) Sexual morality (no adultery, etc. and yes, homosexuality is included in this one); (7) the social obligation to establish a just court system in your country that recognizes the above.
          (4) There is a surprising amount of room within Judaism for empathy. But that’s another discussion.
          (5) The job of Rabbis is to apply the law to contemporary issues. So for example, when electricity was invented, the question was raised whether using electricity violated any of the 39 categories of work forbidden on Shabbos. There is a rather fascinating history regarding the issue of microphones in synagogues for that reason. But all orthodox Rabbis agree: The Torah is the ultimate truth; there is a right way and a wrong way to go about interpreting the Torah; but a person must make for himself a teacher that he will trust to tell him what the good book says about certain things.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I miss Bill Hicks. He used to take issue with the ministers who ‘interpret’ the texts for us. “What God meant to say …..”

      • Irish Sweetness

        What would the Torah say about apartheid?

        • MB30SD

          Ummm… The apartheid wassint arrooound when the torah was writteeeeen.

          See what I did there?

        • NewBearInTown

          Would not be a fan.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Great West Wing episode. It (the WW Ep.)also mentioned one of the more ridiculous things in the Old Testament e.g. any woman wearing threads made from more than three types of cloth be put to death or some such.

      “I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.”

      What debate? Quoting some guff from a book thousands of years old gets you off the hook in an argument requiring logic and reason? Uh-uh.

      And let’s put the chicken or the egg question to bed shall we?

      The egg. Obviously.

      And another one … is the glass half empty or half full?

      It’s both. Obviously.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Piggy-backing (no gay pun intended) off Irish’s musical post below, 20 worst bands of all time? Hmmmm…

    http://www.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2012/02/17/top-20-worst-bands-of-all-time-the-complete-list

    • MB30SD

      Foreigner!?!? RHCP?!!?!? RUSH!?!?!?!??! PEAL JAM?!?!?!?!??!

      THE MOTHERFUCKING SEX PISTOLS!?!?!?!?

      Ho-ly-sheite…. muslim! this dude is fucking crazy.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        Especially when you consider the other bands left out like Maroon 5, Creed, and apparently I’m not alone with Nickle Back lol

        • MB30SD

          jesus.

    • Cormonster

      That was a dumb list.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Holy Christ on a fucking bike …

      Wings? THAT’S PAUL FUCKING McCARTNEY !! HE’S ONLY THE GREATEST SONGWRITER OF ALL TIME!!!

      Foreigner? The Spin Doctors? The Chilli Peppers ? OASIS ??! Rush? FUCKING PEARL JAM?! The pistols???

      This is everything that’s wrong with blogs, it gives everyone a voice … and some amoebae don’t deserve one. Twenty worst bands of all time? Open up Billboard magazine and pick any 20 out of the top thirty.

      Maybe I will start a blog .. .just to talk about how fucking inane blogs can be.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)
    • CanadaBear

      Hope he rots in hell.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        The judge should have been sentenced to all those years he sentenced those poor kids to. Kinda like when a serial killer gets life for each individual murder. Symbolic.

    • Cormonster

      I read that the other day. Disgusting. Butch, what did you think of that Kelly Thomas verdict? If Kelly was a black guy, that would be national or international news.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        It’s definitely sickening. I gotta say, that among the ‘progressives’ over here in L.A., the Kelly Thomas really riled them up, but I’m not sure the NAACP or other such organizations got involved.

        Sadly, police brutality is almost the norm in L.A. That’s why riots break out periodically over here.

        • MB30SD

          Fuck tha po… oh wait…

        • Cormonster

          It’s the same among people like myself who identify as Libertarian. Reason.com and my favorite blogger, Radley Balko, are always talking about police brutality and the militarization of civilian police forces. It’s a scary thing. Darryl Gates was a pioneer, and not in a good way.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            I whole wholeheartedly agree with you there. It’s odd because almost everyone is bothered by the seemingly endless growth of the military-industrial complex, from progressives to libertarians, and yet, it only keeps increasing every fucking year, no matter what party the president is.

          • MB30SD

            it’s the system that’s broke gents. It doesn’t matter what idiot they trot out as the face of this or that party. It’s all the same. It’s governance by highest bidder.

            You know my platform of common sense:
            * Short 2-3 year terms
            * No lifers and no career politicians
            * ZERO money interests aloud anywhere near the entire law making process
            * The budget is balanced by a hyper secret triple checked revolving council of the country’s best economic and business minds – if anyone if found to be taking cash for influence… instant death
            * One man one vote
            * no two party, multi million dollar juggernaut campaign system
            * No bipartisan congress, just a group of smart, hyper focused, knowledgeable individuals all working to make things better for their constituents
            * Oh, and there won’t be a single tax dollar wasted on holding useless and meaningless trials for baseball players on roids or any of that other ridiculous shit.

            Who’s with me!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            “if anyone if found to be taking cash for influence… instant death”

            I would like to propose an amendment…death “Running Man” style

          • MB30SD

            Done!

            Excellent suggestion

          • SC Dave

            Support the Fair Tax

          • MB30SD

            sure

          • Irish Sweetness

            * Full disclosure of the ‘alien’ question, and sharing of zero point energy and cold fusion.

          • Trac

            There is only one way to fix Washington. Cut their pay to min. wage.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I’m still steaming about the Casey Anthony one … the law is an ass … and so are jurors. I think it was Chris Rock that said juries are made up of people who are too dumb to get out of jury duty.

        • MB30SD

          Jesus…. just walk away from that one maings. that will make you want to buy a ticket and hunt down and kill that fucking disease yourself… With Your Bare Hands.

          Just leave it.

          • Irish Sweetness

            That bitch is walking around free as a bird.

    • MB30SD

      wow

    • Irish Sweetness

      I watched some documentary on education … it had Superman in the title I think …waiting for superman ?, and I don’t know if this is true or not , but in California the average inmate costs the taxpayer well over $100K a year.How much is spent on the average student? About $7,300. Seven thousand three hundred. I guess that’s what happens when you let bodybuilders control the fifth (?) largest economy on the planet.

      • NewBearInTown

        Schwarzenegger was elected to balance the budget. The previous governor, Grey Davis, was recalled because he put the state in a huge budget bind and then tried to triple (!) vehicle registration fees overnight. I left CA after that so I didn’t follow as closely, but things haven’t gotten better money-wise under any administration. Arnold wasn’t the problem, though he might not have been the solution either.

        • MB30SD

          And still… it was 75 and sunny all week.

          A small price to pay?

  • 505Bears

    Dont care if gay/straight/bi just get the job done. Locker room, he will not be an issue. Homophobes need to get over themselves…side note, Angelo talking shit about Cutler?! If he believes what he said, why did he traid for him? And there is a reason Angelo is unemployed in the NFL!!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    What I’m more interested with the Sam I Am Gay deal is…the language (surprise surprise, I’m an English Major!)

    What I mean by that is how will the players TALK to one another now in the locker room? I wonder if that will change.

    Let me give you an example.

    In my younger days (say 19-20s), me and my friends used to joke all the time with gay stuff.

    So, one day, my mom comes over my apt and asks me to help her with something. OK, well, let me play my phone messages (remember those?) before I head out the door, and this is what was on it.

    “Hey, HOMO, when you’re done getting pounded in the ass by a street bum, call me up. I know of a party. Later fucker.”

    My mom looked like she saw a ghost then turned to me and gasped, “THAT’S your friend?”

    How could I explain? It’s important to note that neither I nor my friend are homophobes, but that’s just the way we talked back then amongst each other.

    I’m pretty sure that sort of banter goes on in a lot of locker rooms (Richie Incognito’s teammates swore he wasn’t a racist, etc).

    I wonder if his teammates now hush up a bit, or if the trash talking and joking go on as usual?….

    • MB30SD

      it’s sad if it does, cause that’s just the way it is and should be. You regs know I’m a live and let live type and don’t give a shit what color creed etc… you are. But thems just jokes man. WTF?!

      Grow some thicker fucking skin and don’t go into a football locker room, or a 20’s bachelor pad, if you don’t like it… pussy!

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        I’m giving you a thumbs down for using “pussy” which is a derogatory term uttered by sexist pigs! [end sarcasm]

        • MB30SD

          yep. fuck ’em. tired of all the PC bullshit. Bunch of Pussies!

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        It’s going to get interesting MB cuz their locker-room ALSO happens to be a work place, so it’s strange territory. If a worker can sue her/his employee over pronouns…

    • johnnywad

      I’m 40 and still talk that way with my buddies from college. I’ve seen that scenario with your mom unfold a number of times. I still laugh every time I think about it.

  • gpldan

    When Katrina hit and the cops all but abandoned the city but this motherfucker was on the tubez bitching about the Feds and all the shit he wasn’t getting – I said, I did say to my friends “that is the most corrupt motherfucker on the planet right there.”

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-26164555

    • NewBearInTown

      Interesting cat.

    • AlbertInTucson

      New Orleans.Louisiana. Twin towers of corruption.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Stakedout. Honey. Fire ants. That is all.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)
    • MB30SD

      fairy boy… yikes. That cat is scary.

  • NewBearInTown

    I’m coming kind of heavy on the right wing side, so let me say this. A very close friend of mine from grade school came out to me on the phone in the college. We remained friends for a long time after, though living in different cities we eventually drifted apart. He really struggled with coming to terms with himself for a while, and I did everything I could to be supportive. As far as I know, he’s doing great these days.

    At the same time he was emerging as an “out of the closet” gay, I was becoming religious.

    One day, we were talking about Jewish stuff and he asked me pointed blank “if Judaism is anti-gay, what does the religion have for me.” To this day, I don’t have a truly satisfying answer to that question.

    There are plenty of difficult questions I can’t answer to my own satisfaction. But I don’t leave the faith because I have questions; I have plenty of questions regarding atheism as well. So I continue to learn and grow in my own Judaism, and I hope the answers will come. And I know that there will always be more questions.

    I don’t treat a person who engages in homosexual behavior any different than I treat a Jew that drives on Shabbos. I follow a religion that proscribes both of those behaviors (note that the sin refers to the behavior, not the identity), but I have enough of my own problems before I start worrying about theirs.

    If I had a gay co-worker, nothing about that persons’ behavior would prevent me from working effectively with that person. I imagine 99% of NFL players who have their own religious conflicts with homosexual behavior will feel exactly the same way.

    • SC Dave

      Perhaps your friend might seek a deity more accepting and forgiving than the god of Abraham?

      • MB30SD

        Which would you suggest dave?

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)
          • MB30SD

            They do indeed, fuck you in the drive thru.

          • gpldan

            Man, that’s a great comedy bit right there.

            The Sermon on the Mount, with Jesus played by Joe Pesci.

            “For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass away from the law, till all things be accomplished.

            (guy laughs says “he said tittle”, Jesus steps down from the mount)

            “Let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”

    • Irish Sweetness

      You’re a smart guy NBIT. Why do you give a fuck if some Jewish guy drives on Shabbos? Why do you care what some ancient book says, when you even admit that there’s some shit in there that your rational intelligent mind can’t deal with? If you were born in Saudi, you’re reading a different book. You pop out in Dublin, you’re reading a different book. You’re born in Thailand … you’re reading comics with no more than five words per balloon.

      • NewBearInTown

        Irish, I have been around. I have read, I have questioned, I have studied. I did not just accept Judaism because my parents said so.

        I care about a Jewish guy driving on the Sabbath because I believe that the world is all connected. Yes, I want him to do what’s good for himself according to my personal views of what’s good. Yes, I want to fulfill my own obligations relating to my fellow Semites. But I also have a genuine belief that what he does affects me and what I do affects him.

        And still I’m not throwing rocks at his car. But I do care.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Interesting. What he does affects you. Does that stretch to the rest of us, or just other Semites? As I understand Christianity, or at Catholicism anyway, it’s about loving your fellow man, regardless of their religion. Is that a part of Orthodox Judaism, or is it a case of ‘look out for your own and let the rest go sweat’?

          Just curious, thx.

          • NewBearInTown

            It extends to every last leaf and stone. But it applies differently to Jews, non-Jews, animals, trees, etc.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      After reading some of your posts from yesterday and day before, I actually sat down and read the 631 (the shorter versions, but direct quotes) and found it compelling. I had never read them before set in the context of the Torah.

      I actually wrote a long post about it and the New Testament, and the misconceptions people have about both as it relates to homosexuals and how they are to be treated, etc., but decided not to post it up, because I was fatigued by the entire discussion.

      Will say this, based on what I read: The Torah seems VERY CLEAR on the fact that slandering others – Jew or Gentile – is frowned upon to put it mildly. I can speak more cogently to the NT teachings, but won’t. I just wish people would actually READ FOR THEMSELVES what the teachings/writings are, and not make so many blind assumptions based on press releases quoting over-the-top morons.

      How are your studies coming along?

      • NewBearInTown

        Study every day, that’s the key.

        Curious what source you used for a list of the 613. There is universal agreement that the number is 613, but there is not universal agreement on how to count them up.

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          I started with this basic listing, and then wandered around from there….sorry for the 631/613 typo – you knew what I meant.

          http://www.jewfaq.org/613.htm

          • MB30SD

            Jewfaq… lolz

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Look, its not how I googled it okay? Its just what popped up…damnit. Lol

          • MB30SD

            Good for you for wanting to learn. Constantly learn right?

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Like I told NB, all the nutbags the press quotes is who a lot of people think represent xyz religion. NB’s for instance is wrongly accused of nearly as much as bible believers – by people who don’t even read it. The whole Sam’s thing opened the expected can of worms, accusations flew. I just wanted to read it for myself.

            Irish said it right when he brushed off Maher’s flick. We get it already. Shuttup, live and let live. Riles my old crotchety self.

          • Irish Sweetness

            I just don’t get the guy. He walks into a church and goes “you’re all fucked. You’re crazy.” and they go back home quite happy and content in their faith, work in their community as part of their community or whatever … and Bill probably goes home and shoots up, puts an orange in his mouth, ties a belt around his neck and wallows in self hatred.

  • tobijohn

    OK well, nothing homo about this band (I think):

  • AlbertInTucson

    “Final thoughts on Michael Sam…”

    You’re kidding, right?

    You’re either kidding or dreaming.

    This subject will be an albatross around the necks of football fans for the foreseeable future.
    The talking heads on TV and radio will NOT let it go away anytime soon.

    • gpldan

      Al,

      Are you keeping a running tab of how many albatrosses the NFL has collected in the last 5 years?

      • AlbertInTucson

        No, but I AM thinking that would be great name for the BROWNS to change to.

        • gpldan

          • Irish Sweetness

            Was there a link in the sidebar that said “Extra-terrestrial technology on the moon” or is that just in mine? Because there is … and the USA had bases up there since before Kennedy challenged NASA to get there ….. and on Mars too ….

            {IRISH! NO!}

            Sorry.

            Faggots.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Space Gays going to hell too! Nitche Nitche.

  • MB30SD

    for you guys with young kids… doc, yonny, willie… shady.

    I’ve been doing science night for my kids every time I get them. We do a different science project every time I have them. Teaching science is important for you guys with daughters,supposedly there’s a built in bias in our schools. Fuck that. My kids are learning the scientific method right now. We do a fun project then we get both of their hypothesis why the experiment turned out that way, then we go over the steps and learn about the parts then we do it again and test our hypos, then we get new thoughts and then the answer… and we play all the way through of course. Awesome.

    here’s the site I use: http://www.sciencebob.com/experiments/.

    We did green slime/home made silly putty tonight. So fun. kids LOVED it. Science rocks!

    • MB30SD

      also made one of these tonight after they went to sleep so they have something cool to learn about tomorrow morning at breakfast

      Here’s where to download the templates to make one yourself: http://www.grand-illusions.com/images/articles/opticalillusions/dragon_illusion/dragon.pdf

      print it on thick paper. cutting it out is a pain in the ass for those of us without much patience, but once it’s cut out it’s pretty easy to put together. have fun boys!

      • Irish Sweetness

        That’s awesome!

        • MB30SD

          so cool maing. I made one and videoed it. Just really cool.

          Funny, the thing looks like shit in real life. I thought it would never worked, but looks perfect on video.

    • RenoBear

      Hell yeah, thanks MB. I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year girl… I look forward to the hands on science projects as they get older

      • MB30SD

        Nice! Most welcome reno.

        Start now maingses. Mine are 5 and 3 and they LOOOOVE science project time. Helps make good eaters at dinner too if that’s the reward after.

        Really stoked I could provide a little support for you guys to have fun with it. Booyah!

        • Doooonnnn’t Caaaaare!

          boom. value brought.

          • MB30SD

            Oh, and are you saying that I usually don’t bring value. Whatever. that hurt.

    • NewBearInTown

      http://www.snapcircuits.net/
      My Dad got the junior set for my 5 and 7 year old. Wow they love playing with those. They could literally spend all day Sunday building different circuits and learning about electricity.

      • MB30SD

        Thanks NB… forgot to put you in my list of peeps with young ones.

        I ALMOST got this for my son’s 3rd in November, but decided to go with the leap pad ultra. My daughter turns 5 next month. .. I know what I’m getting her now.

        • Irish Sweetness

          My two girls are 3, but they haven’t grown out of jamming shit up with play-doh, or hiding ham yet. They hid a quarter of daddy’s salary on him last week, and led him to believe they’d flushed it down the toilet. That was hilarious. A laugh riot. Oh, how we laughed.

        • NewBearInTown

          My kids are using the “Junior” set. My 5 year old is very bright and it keep him well occupied; I’d start there.

          • MB30SD

            excellent, my daughter is also advanced… her brother is taking his time more. Hahaha. I’m sure they’ll both love it. thanks NB.

      • Still a Doug Plank Fan

        Very cool. Just bookmarked it. I’ll add this to the MB line of activities. I have one grandson that will love the electronics stuff.

        • Irish Sweetness

          My dad gave me a chemistry set when I was 7. A set full of dangerous chemicals. No joke. Then he’d get all testy when I burned huge holes in my bedroom carpet.

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Ha! Same here man. Those sets were friggin deadly. I once blew up an alka seltzer bottle on purpose to test the chemicals. Blew a 1-foot deep hole next to our peony bushes. Set was sold in the toy section of Montgomery Wards.

      • Doooonnnn’t Caaaaare!

        lol, I need this for myself. I’m not very handy, or so my wife and I thought….until I decided to stop being a wuss, borrowed my step fathers multi-meter, used my un-opened tool set from my wedding 7yrs ago and fixed a broken dryer with a new motor.
        Downside: Now my wife wants me to do everything like Ty Pennington or Bob Vila.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Look for Prof. Al Khalili’s 3 part series on Electricity on YT. Brilliant for kids, or big kids.

        His “The story of energy” is also a must-see. Thermodynamics/entropy done in an interesting way … in a way that kids can understand … and big kids.

        … as is part 2 of that which is the story of information, which comes to the brilliant conclusion that Energy = Mass = Information.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      I have grandkids that come here often. I’m going to dive right into this for them. NICE MB – that was a fantastic heads-up! Thanks man. That will make Gramps VERY popular (not that I’m not already – heh!)

      • MB30SD

        Awesome!!!

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          Grandkids ages are 3, 3, 2, and 7. This is going to be a real hit. You da man today, partner. I’m browsing the sites now that you posted. Thank you again – what a great idea.

          • MB30SD

            of course my man. Enjoy! VERY glad I could add some value. Really excited I could turn you guys on to it.

          • NewBearInTown

            Grandkids? I had no idea I was gambling for your social security check.

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            That and my Geritol stash.

          • MB30SD

            Hahahahahaha

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          I have a large workshop where we work on nearly everything. Mechanics, repairs, etc. One grandson in particular can’t get enough of being in there. I’m going to set us up with our own work bench with all the supplies (his next weekend with gramps is week after next) and make him and my other 3 their own “shop space” for all of this. Be more fun for me than it will be for them. Heh!

          • Irish Sweetness

            Ah, grampa’s workshops. Nothing cooler. My gramps would nail jar lids to the underside of wooden shelves and then screw in the jars full of nails, bolts, whatever. So you wouldn’t have jars that could get knocked over. A place for everything and everything in its place.

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Still do that…the jars. Some ideas are timeless.

    • Doooonnnn’t Caaaaare!

      That’s awesome man. Nothing better than having fun while kids get to learn how to think and reason. Math and Science WILL get you where you want to go. Philosophy, History, Religion, Sports, Art, Music, Love, etc can help you make others lives better on your way.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I learned a cool way of getting kids to do multiplication by drawing a few lines, check it out.
        Our ancient maths professor showed the kids at morning assembly .

        • MB30SD

          that is cool

    • Irish Sweetness

      Good for you MB. I’m going to show this to the science teacher in school.

      Are they old enough to understand a Brooklyn Jew? My very favorite scientist knew his subject so well, he could explain this stuff in a way kids, and people like me, can understand …. using small words. It takes a real genius to do that.

      Show your kids this – from his Fun to imagine series. Ask your kids ….

      “Where do trees come from?”

      “Out of the ground daddy!”

      “Nope …. they come out of the air …”

      “Huh ?”

      “Yes ! The carbon they’re made from comes out of the air …..”

      “What’s carbon?”

      “Let’s watch Richard Feynman and find out …”

      (four minutes later)

      “What’s fire daddy?”

      “Fire is the stored-up energy of the sun coming out of something …”

      “huh?”

      “Well, let’s see what Richard says about it ..”

      … and so on …..

      Thank God for Youtube.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Interesting point on Feynman. Before Area 51/S-4 existed, all of the ‘alien’ technology was explored at Los Alamos – where he was sequestered previously – working on the bomb under Dr. Teller. He would have worked on the gravitation equations given to them by J-rod in order to make their own saucers work. Feynman probably met J-rod .. .. and with him. He was very likely involved with the construction of flying saucers, or at least the anti-grav part.

      • NewBearInTown

        Richard Feynman is awesome. Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman was a great read in high school.

        Perfectly Reasonable Deviations from the Beaten Path is also outstanding, its a collection of letters he wrote.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Yeah, they’re both great. I loved that he also used to take radios apart. The difference between us was that he could make them work again. I was just content fucking up a perfectly good radio.

  • Irish Sweetness

    It’s finally on Youtube !

    SNL – Tiny Elvis.

  • johnnywad

    “When you are naked and there is a woman nearby, do you assume that woman will not be able to suppress the urge to drop down to her knees and throw you inside her mouth simply because you are the gender she sexually prefers?”

    Yes. That is generally my plan. I can’t remember a time when I was in that particular situation and that wasn’t my plan.

    • gpldan

      Proximity to dick. Excellent. Excellent plan.

      I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Hang out with your mom much, Johnny?
      (smirks)

      • MB30SD

        tiiiiisk…… tiiiiiisk.

        {slowly shakes head with very disapproving look on face}

  • Sactowns#1

    Well I must dive into the debate on religion, and by religion I mean music. My biggest question is who in the hell listened to glam rock when you had some of the best punk rock available to you? Espescially if you grew up in California, NY or New England. Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Ramones, THE MISFITS, Circle Jerks, Buzzcocks, GG Allen, The STOOGES! Hell if you werent into the hardcore stuff and wanted something you and your little lady friend could bop around the living room to at least listen to some of the dancehall inspired bands like the Clash, Op Ivy, Toasters. Hell I’d even acceopt some electronic proto pop … early B-52’s, Smiths etc . But why, for the love of Jebus, would anyone ever get into glam rock? (Queen and Bowie asside)

    BTW- My musical dream would be to go back to 1979 and just check out live music and meet musicians. After the Blues Brothers and the Dead NYE show in SF I would go see some of these bands touring or playing local shows in 1979

    Alice Cooper- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgPqZmrJ380

    B52’s – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K8jiFhmBAY

    Beastie Boys- (the punk years!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YzCzIeJPwo&list=PL52BCB1EEE1CDF604

    Clash- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFdRlu3Rls
    Dead Kennedys- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDuwKarNJOY

    Elvis Costello- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P94pXANbucw

    FEAR- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz0gBHCHnbY

    GG ALLen- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSa61vWjc0

    Haggard- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtcPF4RfgfM

    Iggy Pop and the Stooges- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbLRf0j80wU

    Jennings- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ14IxdzvYw

    Kool and the Gang – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7SiM6Q2g2E

    Led Zeppelin- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8ahBqVuT68

    Misfits- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clw-zxaX0ow

    Michael Jackson- pick one

    Neil Diamond- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4tSBgIZzZc

    O ?
    Parliamet- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCgthG5sL6M

    Queen- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHObLhdRBYM

    Ramones- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWuQRhMCtoE

    Stevie Wonder (I’ve already seen the stones multiple times)

    Talking Heads- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDjZIowoZeI

    U2- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebE5BYikE6A

    Van THE MAN Morrison- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCsiFQI48eE

    • NewBearInTown

      My first concert was Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. It was a really great first concert.

      Santana was also really great. Ozomatli opened, who I’d never heard before, but who I found myself following all the way out of the Hollywood Bowl when they finished their set by walking through the audience with live drums. Probably my favorite show I’ve been to.

      I wish I had time to go see more live music, but its tough on the schedule and the pocketbook when you’ve little ones. I’m hoping when the boys get a little older, we can start getting into that stuff.

      I was a big Beatles guy as a kid and have wanted to see Paul McCartney for a while. But the show he did at the Grammys has be changing my mind.

      Would love to see Van Morrison, but not sure if he’s still got it either.

      • MB30SD

        love Ozomatli.

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          I saw them perform before they became big. I forgot where – Silverlake street festival, some college campus? Don’t know. They were good, but I remember thinking, “How many of these fucks are there!?”

          • MB30SD

            hahahaha.. yeah. good stuff. great brass section. I seens thems a bunch before they went big. all small venues. fun.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Best gig I was ever at. Hands down. Paul McCartney. When he played Hey Jude I called my mom and just held the phone up. Niagara falls.

        • Irish Sweetness

          His band is awesome BTW.

          • MB30SD

            fuck paul mccartney. Douche

            (hee hee)

          • Irish Sweetness

            I love Paul. He’s so nice. John was just a miserable get, albeit one that could write a decent tune. Paul was a great dad, John was the opposite. I love Paul.

          • MB30SD

            I’m sure he’s a great guy, but he’s still a douche… and his music is… lame.

            That and who in thee fuck marries a one legged whore. .. without a fucking prenup no less. Smfh

      • tobijohn

        First for me was a triple bill at Wabash College down in Indiana – Humble Pie opening, Emerson Lake & Palmer and then Johnny Winter And headlining. It went on until about four in the morning…

    • MB30SD

      I listened to it all maings. Why do you have to listen only to one group of bands?

      • Cormonster

        MB, Butch, Irish, and other music fans, what you think of my friends’ old band Aunt Beaph? First song about weed and Satan.

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w_wPvSYaQcM

        Next song Sauce Boss. Irish, Shiva was an alien.

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ACFhFYlA7u0

        Last one. Band practice. Bass and guitar player are friends since 12. Their first “gig” was at 14 at a Catholic Church festival as Sacred Heart, named after Dio’s 2nd album.

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K7rmXEa4X6A

        These are some of their more “mainstream” songs. A simple description of their music is Frank Zappa meets Slayer. All recordings from the 90’s.

        • MB30SD

          I like em corm. very raw sounding, but good.

          • MB30SD

            Dude, corm… that last one was fucking rad. Loved it!

          • Cormonster

            No, I lived 3 hours away. They were very progressive. They were ahead of their time. When System of a Down got popular it sounded like they ripped off Aunt Beaph.

          • Irish Sweetness

            @ the jam space Engine ’97

            The dude that just jumps in with the mike and starts doing his Vanilla Ice meets eminem ! LOL! The bass player is all like “dude, if you touch my fucking guitar it’s going over your skull…”

            Was he in the band, or did he just grab a mike? That’s probably what makes some bands and not other. telling that guy that his services are no longer required.

            I just finished watching a Foo Fighters doco, so my standards are temporarily raised. I’d be having a quiet word with the drummer too.

          • MB30SD

            Dude… seeens that one. I fucking love grohl. He is an amazing musical talent and just a stud. Loves me somes foo

    • gpldan

      You should really rent this movie:

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1786751/

      My favorite line from the movie:

      Hilly Kristal: [Being introduced to the Ramones] What do you guys have for me?
      Joey Ramone: We got four songs. I don’t wanna walk around with you, I don’t wanna be learned, I don’t wanna be tamed and I don’t wanna go down to the basement.
      Hilly Kristal: Lot of things you don’t wanna do.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Stevie Wonder and Bill Hicks both played Dublin the same week … of my college finals.
      And I saw neither.
      (facepalm)

    • Cormonster

      GG Allin and the Grateful Dead in the same post. Bravo! This crazy singer in my friends’ band idolized Jerry Garcia and GG. At one time I actually had Eat My Fuc by GG, his “greatest work”.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    I’m tired of all this gay stuff! I miss seeing backs slam through A Gaps!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    This draft is going to be far harder to predict than previous drafts because no one is exactly certain which direction the Bears are leaning towards on defense, and on offense we don’t have any glaring holes besides maybe center.

    I ran across this mock draft, and it echoed my sentiment.

    “By now I am sure many readers have seen multiple
    mock drafts from other sources that are tagging Florida State DT Timmy
    Jernigan as a likely pick for Chicago. And I am sure those same readers
    are wondering why then does Hageman keep appearing at #14 on the
    DRAFTSIM. The simple answer is that other evaluators are failing to
    include in their evaluation the liklihood of the Bears switching to a “hybrid defense.”
    While Jernigan is a fine 3-technique player, he is not nearly as
    effective in other formats, thus limiting him to primarily 4-3 sets.
    Hageman is highly athletic and interchangeable along the line, showing
    the ability to play anywhere from 0-technique to 5 technique –
    versatility the Bears will crave come Draft time”

    http://www.drafttek.com/2014-NFL-Mock-Draft-Round1.asp

    • SC Dave

      Must agree with the writer as you’ve quoted him. Emery has been on the versatility gig for 18 months or more.

    • MB30SD

      Look, if we get Jernigan, Hageman, DIx, or Pryor… I will be fired up!

      A project surprise… unless the numbers/film back it… is NOT an option. Do you hear me Phil!!!

    • Johnathan Wood

      They’re switching to a hybrid front. All their moves so far, from Emery’s comments to their coaching hires, have screamed this loud and clear.
      They’re focusing on fixing the DL this offseason. Emery has also said that. I think Hageman is the guy who makes the most sense for them. We’ll see.

      • Irish Sweetness

        But Tucker is a straight 4-3 guy …. wouldn’t it make more sense to hire a coach who has already run a hybrid?

        • NewBearInTown

          Tucker has coached 3-4 systems as well.

        • MB30SD

          what does his sexual preference have to do with anything Irish?!?! Such a homophobe!

          (see what I did there?)

        • Johnathan Wood

          Tucker has done some 3-4 in the past too. He has experience in both, just like the new DL and LB coaches.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Are we definitely going to the hybrid? Or are we basing that on the recent hires?

  • Still a Doug Plank Fan

    Incognito and Martin back in the news today…New tweets from Richie. Several press sites citing them as more proof he’s a bully. I read them. Bullshit. It’s nadda, just a pissed off guy that is tired of being drug through the PC barbed wire, and that’s all it is.

    Bully my ass (wait, can I say that now?)…he’s just a man that has had enough of the shit thrown his way. I hope he lands with a team that doesn’t give a damn about people who don’t deserve their press passes.

    • MB30SD

      bears

      • Still a Doug Plank Fan

        I’d be good with that. Esp. If GB or the kitties picked up Martin.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Damn. I logged in about nine hours ago to post this link to a doc on aliens, featuring most of the seriosu bods in the business – apart from Lazar, the liar. Worth a watch if you’re a noob or non-believer.

    Nine fucking hours. SMH.

    • SC Dave

      Within four minutes, it gets laughable. Somehow, aliens that can reach earth from who knows where can cross the dangers of interstellar space, deal with the radiation from Sol unprotected by a planetary magnetic field, and then be shot down by RADAR?!? Preposterous!

      • Irish Sweetness

        Ever been on the dark side of the moon Dave? Why did the Chinese spend all that money going up there? To look at rocks?

        There’s no need to believe anything my friend, but sometimes you’ll come across a guy like Clifford Stone, or a Bob Dean, and the bullshit detector doesn’t go off …and then you wonder why … it’s a shame you didn’t stay for the ride, because there were some interesting people on there (and one bullshitter – Bob Lazar) … but life is short and people are busy. I get that.

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          “Ever been on the dark side of the moon Dave?”

          Does listening to Pink Floyd count?

        • SC Dave

          What does that have to do with the utter stupidity of proclaiming that interstellar spacecraft could be shot down by fucking radar waves?

          • Irish Sweetness

            One would have to understand the propulsion systems of such craft before saying that radar would have no effect on them.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    since we’ve been talking about it so much, I have a question.

    Sooooo… he’s gay right? http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2014/02/johnny-weirs-fashions-are-a-highlight-of-the-2014-winter-olympics.html

    • SC Dave

      You’re not seriously *asking* are you?

      • MB30SD

        Yes, I’m asking… but not seriously Dave.

        While I may not have gaydar, I’m not a fucking moron. Well…. about some things.

    • johnnywad

      Depends. Is he an SEC linebacker? Cuz see that matters. Have to know that first.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    here are some helpful cards for you guys to use tomorrow: http://www.mandatory.com/2014/02/13/the-funniest-crudest-valentines-day-cards-you-will-ever-read/

    My personal fav is the DNA one. Hilarious.

    • MB30SD

      Oh, yeah… you’re welcome.

  • MB30SD
    • MB30SD

      Let me rephrase that last one…. people still buy cameras?

      • johnnywad

        You’ll need one when your kids get into sports. Can’t capture that stuff with a phone. Next thing you know, you’ll have a $1500 camera complete with nerd lens and your 9 year old son will have a Fathead of himself in his room playing some sport. Don’t shake your head at me DAMMMITT! It’s coming.

        • MB30SD

          Hahahaha… I was specifically talking about the point & shoot camera. It’s obsolete technology. (full disclosure, I LOVE the camera linked above and almost bought that exact one two years ago. the camo is sweet)

          Did you check my africa pics? Most of the ones I posted were taken with my Galaxy Note III.

          That said, I have a cannon D5 when I want to get all serious… and shit.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      Damn you for posting the link to that site….damn you.

      My wife is going to hate you for this. I just lightened the savings account….shit.

      • MB30SD

        you’re welcome. Keep forgetting you’re new

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          *sniff*…but its valentines day….

          • MB30SD

            Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Yeah whatever…you never call….

          • MB30SD

            You don’t even know me anymore

      • NewBearInTown

        Wait… did you buy the camera or the ferrari?

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          Yes. I bought things. Plural.

          Now, are you going to set a price on the McCown bet? And did I miss your thoughts on Hageman? I know Eric wrote one up, and MB plugged him. Didn’t see yours…?

          • MB30SD

            that was $ (4EB).

            I’m for him or jernigan (whichever does better in the combine)… and if those guys are gone and/or we hit the lottery in FA with a DE/DT stud… I might even be more for taking Dix or Pryor (whichever looks better after the combine) in Rd1

          • That Guy

            I can’t find the bet you offered. Probably you posted it on a previous thread and I missed it. When Jeff posts a new thread, I’ll ask you again if I miss your answer here too.
            I’m betting McCown is gone, if that’s the bet. I think another team offers him enough money that he moves on.
            Haven’t posted on Hageman lately. I’ll watch some tape and get back to you. I’ve posted enough on this thread, particularly on the non-football stuff.

    • gpldan

      I like the T

      • MB30SD

        Meh

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    eh?

    • johnnywad

      Hmm?

      • MB30SD

        yeeeeeeeesssss…..

  • Barb UMihai Mar

    It’s not about what players or ‘Self-appointed NFL morality czars’ think. It’s all about what high ranking executives think. You can throw Christianity and all that crap to the trash bid of history… it’s all about the money. The owners are smart enough to stay away and accept whatever happens. It’s smart for business for them to do so.

    • MB30SD

      Bingo barb.

      Dollah… dollah… bills… y’all.

  • Irish Sweetness

    SC Dave – some video for you, and everybody else. Pictures tell a thousand words, do they not ?

    Riddle me this ….

    At 58:20 What is that, being constructed on a U.S. military installation in the 1950s?

    1:12:45 Actual footage of the ‘Avro car’ – an anti-gravity car being tested in Canada. Undeniable proof that the military know how to defy gravity … 60/70 years on, where do you think they are with such technology now? How did they learn to defy gravity?

    1:21:40 Saratov – the Russian Area 51 – what kind of craft is that?

    Now this footage taken from a NASA Space Shuttle (STS 75) known as the “tether incident”. A 12mile long tether breaks, and a bunch of UFOs come along to investigate. What are they?

    22:00 in ….

    From 26:40 – 32:15 – just look at these people introduce themselves to the National Press Club. Almost all servicemen – not drunken hillbillies who say the saw things in the sky – are these people all liars? Why are they willing to take their lies to Congress under oath?

    • gpldan

      You do know that’s a hovercraft, right? That it isn’t “defying gravity” unless by defy you mean push a lot of air downwards in the same way helicopters defy.

      As to where we are today with it, we are here:

      http://www.militaryimages.net/photopost/data/519/Army_Hovercraft.jpg

      • MB30SD

        It’s the FUTURE!!

      • Irish Sweetness

        nah mangs, methinks no way that’s a hover, no massive downwash, check it out again. There’s a teensy weensy bit bit of wash around the 56 second mark but that’s because in any amateur anti-grav device I’ve seen there is indeed a hi-speed revolving part, an electro-magnet, I think. An aviation rotor would require a lot of fuel, and would defeat the purpose of the whole thing

        I’m looking for the video I saw a month or two back, just a few guys in a lab, who made a device lose 70% of its mass. Great find on the avrocar vid btw – but I don’t think it would be physically possible to make a craft hover with one rotor would it? No stability, no error correction is possible – like the Saturn V rocket, you need many smaller thrusters along with the main thrusters to gimbal the thing back up straight.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      You lost me at “lies…Congress…oath”.

  • Irish Sweetness

    BTW Dave, the doc above is way better than the one I posted yesterday, I found it again last night

    ….and your bases and structures on the moon …. 52 minutes in …. not just testimony, but photos ….

    The first stage is denial. The second is acceptance. The third is acting like you knew all along …..

    • MB30SD

      When do the nice men come to fit you with your new white coat?

      hahhahahaha

      • Irish Sweetness

        A first stager, eh, MB ?

        Are Buzz Aldrin and Mike Collins credible enough sources for you ? The craft in the clip as actually filmed on a later mission, but they said it was the same type they saw from Apollo 11.

        What’s this at 0:50 ?

    • MB30SD
  • MB30SD
    • Irish Sweetness

      I guess a Tomahawk – but they’ve probably got new shit since the Tomos.

  • MB30SD

    btw, I don’t think I’ve ever shared a pic of myself. After 4 years, it’s time… so here’s an old pic of me when I was young: http://o.aolcdn.com/dims-global/dims3/GLOB/resize/550×600/http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/242/683/0/S2426830/slug/l/old-pic-me-sperm-1.jpg

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      Dead ringer for Jesse the Bod Ventura at that age.

      • MB30SD

        O…M…G!!! I thought the same thiiiiinnnng!!!!!

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      Well, technically, that would only be half of you. Egg-head.

      HA!

      • MB30SD

        True.

        • Irish Sweetness

          That would be cool. Put it all in a bucket of water in the kitchen. Then go in and sit down with the kids. As soon as they see it scream “FIRE! FIRE! OH JESUS CHRIST WE’RE ALL GOING TO BURN TO DEATH !! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

          And then you can watch football every Sunday … forever.

          (tumbleweeds)

          Okay then, maybe not the greatest idea ever expressed……

          • MB30SD

            Uuuuummmm… yeeeaaahhhh… maybe not this time around my maings. but, hey, great suggestion!

  • johnnywad

    Just got my taxes back from my accountant AND received the first bill for a surgical procedure my wife had last month. I’m not really sure why I continue to work or pay for health insurance at the moment. Fuck Aetna and Fuck the IRS.

    • Cormonster

      I often think the same way.

    • MB30SD

      bummer maings. Get off the grid.

      If it makes you feel any better, I’m expecting a brutal tax bill this year.

    • SC Dave

      Health insurance is not to pay your bills. It’s to prevent you from going broke if something catastrophic happens.

      I have a $5,000 deductible, and pay my own insurance 100%. And since I started doing seven years ago, I’ve never had more than $2500 in medical bills in a year until this year, where I had somewhat over $4500. In other words, I’ve paid about $5000 a year for premiums and have derived *zero* benefit. Other than piece of mind. That’s how actuarial shit works.

      But I’ll always remain “ahead” in the insurance game (well, not exactly, but…) since my wife’s insurance company shelled out right about $1M for the leukemia treatments, etc., that gave her a chance to live. That’s also how actuarial shit works.

      Taxes, on the other hand, are a different matter entirely.

      • johnnywad

        I know its not there to pay my bills Dave. Just venting. Hope your wife is doing well.

        Here’s my philosophical beef with health care and the insurance to cover it. Bear in mind, I understand nothing will ever change and this is America where we encourage businesses to succeed. I get it.

        In 2012, Aetna, my insurance company, made $1.695 Billion dollars. Billion. That’s one insurer and not even the biggest one. So we take our money, give it by the truckload to Aetna, so that in turn, should we happen to need it, (as in the case of your wife) they then protect us from ruin. But I would argue this is a horrible way to do things. If all available dollars were directed toward ACTUALLY paying for health care instead of filling the coffers of what is essentially a gigantic ATM machine that skims off the top, wouldn’t we be in far better shape? Why not allow the financial arrangements spring up between the health care providers and their patients?

        Here’s an example. My daughter just got braces. Insurance covered about $880 of the $5500 total. But then, the orthodontist knocked off another $800 or so, simply because we have insurance. (Stupid). So out of the original $5500 we owe $3820. Now I would argue the original cost isnt really $5500 but $4700. It makes no sense to charge a different price from one client to the next based on the existence of insurance. It costs what it costs. I know, I know. It is what it is. So the orthodontist hands me a sheet for a pre-arranged payment plan. $500 first day, the rest paid in monthly installments for 18 months free of interest. Now I had planned on just writing the check, but why not take the interest free plan right? So here we are. Insurance helped out very little. The imaginary discount is bull shit. This is small scale stuff in the grand scheme, but why not just forego the insurance all together and work the deal with the doc straight up?

        Between my wife’s employer (source of our insurance), the money they take from each of her paychecks for her “share” of the premium, our deductible, 80/20 co-insurance and co pays, we pay more than $25,000 a year for coverage that we have seldom needed. There has to be a better way to do this, and I think it begins by removing the Insurers from the picture and putting the money they make every year toward actually caring for health. Not paying people to shuffle papers and money that actually produce nothing.

        • Irish Sweetness

          Costs about $800 in Thailand for braces. MRIs are a 20th the price they are in the States. You guys are getting hosed whatever way you dice it up. Getting scammed bros. I wear contact lenses. Cost nothing here, a relative small fortune back home, plus they screw you for a compulsory eye test a few times a year. Scams seem a lot more prevalent in countries with ‘more cash’.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Didn’t know that Dave, hope that all works out. That’s exactly the shit you need insurance for. Cancer injections cost way too much to be true. When my time comes I’m not going down the chemo and radiation road – I don’t see how your body can fight cancer when you shut down its own ability to fight. When we’re healthy, our body is shutting down cancer cells all the time. Pharma companies making bundles of cash off drugs that shut your immune system down? Doesn’t make sense. Chinese medicine for me when Big C comes a knockin’.

  • MB30SD
    • Tiny Elvis

      Sharper Image (is in the toilet)

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      Okay…do I have the wrong guy here? Just this morning, wasn’t he doing a bit on ESPN as “The Love Doctor” for Valentine’s Day? God, tell me I’ve got that wrong…otherwise, the possibilities for ripping humor here have just reached infinity……

  • MB30SD
  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Since we’re still on the NTTAWWT thread, I love you all (small tear sliding down cheek)

    https://scontent-a-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/1506818_10152236519569452_1140208374_n.jpg

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)
    • johnnywad

      Or durable. Has Delmas ever finished a season?

      • MB30SD

        [whispers] i think that’s what he meant johnny

        • johnnywad

          I makeup for my stupidity with sheer kindness. I’m super fucking pleasant to be around.

          • MB30SD

            Really?

            I keeled I keeeeeeed

      • Irish Sweetness

        Last season. Played 16 games. Lions say it’s to clear 9M off their cap, but something stinks.

      • SC Dave

        Pretty sad if he’s not as “durable” a Mike Brown

  • Still a Doug Plank Fan

    …….and for everyone who didn’t get a Valentine’s Day sweetening……

    http://consumerist.com/2014/02/14/money-cant-buy-you-love-but-it-can-buy-you-this-weird-pillow-to-make-out-with/

  • MB30SD

    Hey guys… I just want all of you in the south and east to be careful out there this weekend. Ok?

    Oh, and I promise to be careful here too… it’s only been 75 today and it’s going to be 75 again tomorrow. But there is supposed to be a 5-10 mph light ocean breeze tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll be extra cautious. Scout’s honor.

  • MB30SD

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20140214/richie-incognito-jonathan-martin-nfl/?eref=sihp

    Michael Rosenberg, you sir are a fucking douchebag and YOU need to stop feeding into the nonsense. SMMFH.

    (ps. sweet jewfro! Very nice.)

  • MB30SD

    Hmmmm… is a thing like this inappropriate for all my ‘first date gifts’?

    http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/tech/2014/01/31/bra-that-unhooks-if-in-love-with-laurie-segall-orig-ms.cnn.html

  • MB30SD
  • gpldan
  • gpldan

    Interesting see players responding to Miami. Half saying it happens every locker room. Half saying it doesn’t happen in other locker rooms.

    Ever work for a company with a shit culture? Yeah, me too. Starts at the top, but nobody wants to admit it.

    THat’s the NFL. THere are two different cultures. One is vaguely psychopathic in the vein of say, Jeffery Skilling or John Chambers, and says the culture is totally Darwinian and Machiavellian.

    The other says no, treat everyone with respect and have a culture predicated on respect.

    And those cultures run 50-50. In the workplace, as well as the NFL Org.

    • MB30SD

      oracle.

      I’ve worked with about 4 ex-oracle employees. They were all assholes to the nth degree. Backstabbing, lying, cheating, conniving fucks. Starts at the top… supposedly ellison is the head prick.

      Yes, that’s you roge.

      • Irish Sweetness

        I’d cut my own balls off for a job at Oracle.

        • MB30SD

          Wow. Ok, well… call up Ellison, he may just take you up on that just for the sport of watching that.

          I bet he is where they got the idea for dinner with schmucks. (Fucking love that movie btw)

          • Irish Sweetness

            I did a career profile thing for HR when I worked for Corel – they were *great* to their staff. It came back “You should work with databases”.

            I was a database programmer/troubleshooter at the time.

    • Barb UMihai Mar

      The New York Giants are a ‘treat everyone with respect and have a culture predicated on respect’. Still they fucking bullied a 2nd year player and then put the video online. Nothing bad was inflicted on the culprits. That shit was wayyy worse that whatever stupid bullshit happened in this Martin story. Read all those SMS… it’s nothing. PS: You want to do shit the right way ? Do it as Emery has done ? Ban it as a team rule and with contract implications.

    • That Guy

      Guys get brought in to teams all the time that change the culture. You bring a guy like Incognito or Pouncey to create a certain culture. Sometime you don’t realize what you’re bring in.
      The reason why GP says it starts at the top (and he’s right) is because the leadership has to allow guys like that to open their mouths. Then, step two, good leadership will spot an unhealthy situation and tell someone to walk (and that might have been Martin btw). Bad leadership either thinks those situations are normal or thinks they are the weaker person’s fault. Then the problem compounds on itself.

  • MB30SD

    A Valentine’s poem for my bitches. Enjoy lads.

  • MB30SD

    GP, if you come out I’ll meet you out there for the day.

    http://www.desertconcours.com/

    • gpldan

      Awesome. That’s my birthday, a nice present to myself.

      • MB30SD

        Dude. Make that shit happen. Should be a fun show… and ps is always fun. if You Bring the girlfriend…. uhhh… I don’t know, I’ll be on my best behavior and show her your online buddies are nice and aren’t just a figment of your imagination.

  • MB30SD

    Dude… willie… wheeeerrreeee aaaaarreeee yyyooooouuuu?!!?!?!

    http://www.hlntv.com/slideshow/2014/02/14/de-la-soul-free-download-best-tracks

  • gpldan

    Is there an easy way to get to the bottom of a 400+ post discus thread? Because clicking ‘Load More COmments’ sucks.

    • That Guy

      Its also very laggy. There has to be a way that Disqus doesn’t break when you pass 400 comments. Or else, figure a way to put “aged” comments into an archive.
      I think that’s why they had new comments at the top before, but there has to be a way to do that without losing the threading. Just move the entire thread to the top when one new comment is posted.

      • MB30SD

        see the “sort by” feature at the top left of the comments section….

  • Irish Sweetness

    SMH …. the Chinese said they were ‘worried about the cold at night on the moon’ ? Erm …. it’s cold on the Moon? GEE, Y’THINK? …… then why not build something that’s not affected so much by the cold …. y’know, like NASA did … FIFTY F’KIN YEARS AGO!!!!
    (deep breaths)
    Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm …….

    So our Chinese brothers spending gazillions of Yuan, finally get to the dark side of the moon to check out the USA/Alien bases up there … oh, sorry, ‘to look at rocks’ ……and guess what happens …..

    From The Guardian :

    “China’s troubled Jade Rabbit lunar rover has come back to life, a day after it was declared dead from a combination of mechanical troubles and extreme cold on the moon, according to state media.

    “It came back to life! At least it is alive and so it is possible we could save it,” the official Xinhua news agency quoted Pei Zhaoyu, spokesman for the lunar programme, as saying on a verified account on Sina Weibo, a Chinese equivalent of Twitter.

    The probe, named Yutu or Jade Rabbit after the pet of Chang’e, the goddess of the moon in Chinese mythology, had ground to a halt with a “mechanical control abnormality” last month, provoking an outpouring of sympathy from weibo users.

    Concerns were raised that the vehicle would not survive the bitter cold of the lunar night. An unverified Weibo user “Jade Rabbit Lunar Rover”, which has posted first-person accounts in the voice of the probe, made its first update since January, when it had declared: “Goodnight, Earth. Goodnight, humans.”

    “Hi, anybody there?” it said on Thursday, prompting thousands of comments within minutes.

    “The Jade Rabbit went into sleep under an abnormal status,” Pei said, according to Xinhua. “We initially worried that it might not be able to bear the extremely low temperatures during the lunar night.”

  • MB30SD

    http://nfl.si.com/2014/02/10/nfc-north-free-agency/

    Chicago Bears

    • Key free agents: QB Josh McCown, WR/KR Devin Hester, OT Eben Britton, C Roberto Garza, DE Corey Wootton, DT Henry Melton, CB Zack Bowman, CB Charles Tillman, S Major Wright

    • Players Chicago needs back: McCown, Hester, Garza, Britton

    McCown did a wonderful job while replacing an injured Jay Cutler, keeping the Bears right in the race until the end. The veteran is not a spectacular player, but he has an implicit understanding of head coach Marc Trestman’s offense. Hester is still an explosive return man and intriguing ‘tweener player under the right contractual circumstances. Garza is the kind of underpowered but savvy veteran every offensive line needs — especially one like Chicago’s, which is still very much under construction, and Britton has potential.

    • Players Chicago should let walk: Tillman, Wootton, Melton, Bowman, Wright

    Chicago’s defense has a couple of problems: The old players are getting older, and the new kids aren’t always moving up as quickly as the franchise needs. Losing Tillman will be a hit from a leadership perspective, but the clock is ticking on his great career, and there seems to be a waiting and willing home in Tampa Bay with former Bears head coach Lovie Smith. Emery put Melton on notice after his arrest for assault and public intoxication and implied that more was needed on the field. Wootton played a lot of snaps in 2013, but not terribly effectively. Bowman and Wright are role-players who can be upgraded.

    • Outlook: The Bears come into the 2014 league year at a bit over $120 million in cap, and they’ve got over $40 million of that invested in two players — quarterback Jay Cutler ($22,500,000) and defensive end Julius Peppers ($18,183,333). For general manager Phil Emery to make the moves he needs to make to vault the Bears into the league’s upper echelon, one of those numbers will have to go, and it won’t be Cutler’s. Emery has said that Peppers had an “8-8 season,” and injuries along Chicago’s line made this defense atypically leaky in 2013.

    Hmmm… I think he needs to swap out hester with Peanut. And Woot should stay.

    • johnnywad

      “Garza is the kind of underpowered but savvy veteran every offensive line needs”.
      Can’t get enough underpowered Centers. Apparently every offensive line needs them. Dude should have read that through a time or two. (Said the mope that likes “hot, fresh pue”.)

      • MB30SD

        hahahahaha…. exactly. UPGRADE!!!

        And you know that, I too, loves me some hot fresh pue my maingses. You’re not alone there.

      • That Guy

        Bushrod and Slauson are the leadership now. And they’re paid like it. Long and possibly Mills will be the leadership in a year or two. There’s enough stability for an upgrade at center.

        • Irish Sweetness

          A new center is long overdue, and should have been on the roster when Kreutz was still here….

    • tobijohn

      I wouldn’t be so quick to let any of those guys other than Wright walk, assuming they come reasonably and realistically priced…

    • That Guy

      The only people unsure about Peppers’ contract are the media who want to write about it.
      McCown isn’t sticking around. Wootton will play the market. Peanut is getting the same contract in Chicago or Tampa; its just up to him where he wants to finish playing.

      • MB30SD

        Dude… who is this guy?

        • That Guy

          IE doing something with my handle. I think I used that as a joke to post a comment elsewhere once upon a time. “That Guy” is NBIT. (And I’m not sure which handle will post as either).

          • MB30SD

            Nice NB. You were too comfortable to be a rook, so it was more of a play on your new secret handle.

          • NewBearInTown

            If I’m not mistaken, I was commenting to something where somebody wrote “don’t be that guy.”

          • MB30SD

            Well executed

    • Irish Sweetness

      ????
      We need Roberto Garza like we need a washed up old guard who plays center that wears two knee braces and false-starts …. wait for it … ON HIS OWN FKN SNAPS! MWAAAAH!

      We need Peanut (at safety, ahem) and we definitely need Woot-Woot. End of. I could care less for Melton and his knees. I don’t see how Zackary breaks the bank. Goodbye Major Penis.

  • MB30SD
    • tobijohn

      Doesn’t look like anything I’d like to sleep in. Too constraining…

      • MB30SD

        the outfit or her vagina?

  • MB30SD
    • tobijohn

      Innocent until proven guilty and all that but come on. If they don’t get him in the first state he’s being charged in, the other states will be lining up for their turn. Any money or assets he might have saved during his career are going to be pretty much exhausted by legal fees. Which means once he gets out, he’ll be both old and broke. I hope those few thrilling moments were worth it Darren…

      • Irish Sweetness

        I’m always loathe to pass judgement on these things when no trial has been completed .. .but if there’s any truth to it ….. you’re a millionaire pro football player … and you need to do *that* ? How much is a ticket to Thailand? For $20 outside of the tourist traps you can have a best friend for the whole night.

        Apparently.

  • CanadaBear

    Not sure Jeff has all the facts on the Olin vs Fred Miller dustup. From the story I read, they were both hammered, Fred kept needling Olin, Olin got pissed and broke Miller’s jaw. Miller got in a good lick with a metal plate used for weightlifting. Hit Olin over the head with it and Olin got a bunch of stitches. Not sure how that’s bullying. I see it as 2 drunken louts got into a pissing match.

    • MB30SD

      people outside the game, like that mike rosenberg nerd, just don’t get it. If you’ve never been in the environment, you can’t really understand.

      I’ve always said that I believe football is as close to was as you can get (without dying… no disrespect meant viva)… so there’s a comradre and friendship formed ‘under fire’ of the in-battle environ that’s different than any other

      My 3 best friends in life are guys I played football with in HS and College… by far. I’d call all my other friends to help me move… I’d call those three to help me move… bodies.

      It’s just a totally different bond (that’s what she said) that begets a totally different culture/environment and people who’ve never experienced it can’t ever get it. Oh, and my buddies and I still to this very day talk to each other almost exactly like that. We’re not ridiculous meatheads like incognito, but it’s basically the same.

      • tobijohn

        For the very reason I never played the game at any level other than backyard stuff, I’m not even contemplating voicing an opinion on the matter. I’m simply not qualified and I know it…

      • Irish Sweetness

        Spot on. I only played the organized version for a couple of years, but even though there were guys on the team maybe you didn’t like so much, nor they you .. outside the game they were still your team-mates, and that ‘weird unexplainable bond’ is there – and it’s a real thing, not just some cliche out of the jock movies. I guess it’s something akin to the way soldiers feel .. brother-in-arms and all that.

    • tobijohn

      And if I recall, they both moved on and neither contemplated suicide…

    • Irish Sweetness

      Yup. Shit happens around alcohol, best friends or no.

  • Irish Sweetness

    Can’t bear drilling down through the thread to see what’s been posted, so sorry if this is on there already :

    Brad Biggs’ Bears mailbag

    Would Louis Delmas help the Bears? — @Monctonscout from Twitter

    This was a popular question Thursday when the news spread that the Lions released the veteran safety. Delmas, 26, played in 16 games last season for the first time in his career. He has a degenerative knee condition and that is why he missed eight games in 2012. In fact, some teams took him off their draft board when he was coming out because of the knee issues.

    Delmas was limited to only Thursday practices last season and a Lions source told me he pretty much only did work in 7-on-7 drills in practice with an eye toward ensuring the former second-round pick from Western Michigan could be on the field Sundays. Delmas is an energetic player on the field with strong leadership skills. He had a career-high three interceptions last year and two sacks to go with 64 tackles. The Lions, who re-signed him after he entered the market in free agency a year ago, didn’t want to pay him $6.5 million in 2014.

    I think Delmas is a really good player and he’s certainly a lot of fun to watch but his health is worrisome. The last thing the Bears need is to count on a newcomer and then have him sidelined for large stretches of time by a pre-existing injury. It’s possible Delmas returns to the Lions if he doesn’t find something more to his liking on the open market. But Detroit would be taking a risk counting on him.

    • MB30SD

      I totally agree with this. If we don’t get our bellwether DE/DT in FA or the right guy is gone by pick #14, we gotta take the better of Dix or pryor, and hopefully won’t have to worry about the FS spot for another 5-10. A girl can dream right irish…. right!?

      • Irish Sweetness

        If we drafted a FS in the first then (a) I wouldn’t slit my wrists (b) he’s likely pretty good, and at least half the musical chairs at safety can stop.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      Emery has been anti-angelo when it comes to taking inj risks. He really seems to shy away from inj prone FAs or draft prospects. The only one which he signed who was inj prone was DJ Williams (and Hardin in the draft), and look what happened there.

      • tobijohn

        I’m pretty sure that was DJ’s first major injury. Hardin was broken from the get go…

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          No. DJ missed a lot of playing time before. I think it’s cuz he was on PEDs.

          We got him dirt cheap though, but still, can’t afford that again. We’re super thin on D.

          • tobijohn

            Yes, that’s true but not from injuries. If he can stay away from the wrong antihistamines and is realistically priced, I say sign him up…

  • Shady

    Ruh roh, guess who just got a PS4? Dat’s riiiiiiiiight. Last one in stock from an early morning shipment.

    Time to… Engage.

    • MB30SD

      Hopefully in the next couple weeks. Maingeses

    • Irish Sweetness

      I wonder how Sony’s shares are doing ? 5.4 million units or something? Damn.

  • Shady
  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Random Butch observations…

    OK, so I had to take my friend to Cedar-Sanai Hospital (in Beverly Hills) over the weekend. Guess what, TONS of hot chicks at the hospital. Couldn’t believe. Right when I walked in there was this hot as girl in a wheel chair crying, babbling something about her heart, and breathing. It looked to me like she was just having a bad trip.

    Later I overheard them say she was merely having a panic attack. Long story short – she was hot.

    And then there was this other girl, who Irish would’ve loved because she was ebony. So, in the waiting, she’s dressed to the 9s with 6 inch clear heels. That’s right CLEAR stilletos in the hospital.

    Then, the doctor treated my friend. Guess what. SHE WAS HOT TOO! WTF? I’ve been around a lot of doctors in my time, and that might have been like the 2nd hot doctor I’ve ever seen. Well, more cute than hot, but we’re grading on a curb here cuz she is a doctor at a great hospital.

    Also, very convenient, there’s tons of cool bars restaurants literally withing walking distance from the hospital, so instead of hanging out in some drab waiting room in a hospital, you can go sip some $10 mimosas and stare at hot chicks in short skits mooching off older ugly men.

    So if you’re ever in L.A. and you gotta go to a hospital, Ole Butch recommends Cedar-Sinai. 5 star zagat review.

    • MB30SD

      Nice.

      Can you get some pue on that curb?

      (I know, like I’m one to talk, but i couldn’t resist)

      • johnnywad

        Be me too it. Ha ha ha. Butch grades on a curb. Why do you grade on curb Butch? Its not fair.

        • MB30SD

          Oh, I be you to it did I? I did be you to it?!

          Hahahahaha… and on it goes. Love this shit!

          (wait… maybe I am richie incognito!!?! Duh Duh DUUUUH!)

          • johnnywad

            Aaaaaah Fuck.

          • MB30SD

            Hahahahahahaha!

            awesome.

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          If a girl has a PhD, curbs are handed out. Have you seen most chicks with PhDs? They all look like Elanore Roosevelt.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Always wanted a nurse. Always. Cut a long story short – my twins came two months early, and one of the only hospitals that had two spare ventilators was about 100 miles away in Bangkok at a five-star hotel kind of hospital. The nurses weren’t just beautiful, they were worthy of Zeus and Apollo. I would have dropped the mother of my children, and the kids, for any one of the sweethearts that came in and out of our room. In a heartbeat. I’m terrible.

      Probably not the best situation to try and pick up a girlfriend. They might frown on that ….

  • MB30SD

    how is this guy in disbelief? I don’t get how he doesn’t get it.

    He shot a kid in cold blood basically for talking smack.

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/16/justice/florida-loud-music-trial/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

    Rot in jail you freakshow… and while you’re at it, take that old douche who killed that guy in the movie theater. smfh.

  • MB30SD

    love this mock: http://nfl.si.com/2014/02/06/2014-nfl-mock-draft-teddy-bridgewater-3/

    Manziel to the factory of sadness. hee hee

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      “Because you won’t often see an interior lineman blast off and kill the
      gaps as he does, Donald would have the chance to become Chicago’s best
      interior defensive lineman since Tommie Harris’ glory days.”

      The problem with Donald is that he’s undersized. 6’0 288. That’s small even for a 3-tech.

      The writer must still think that Lovie Smith is running the D. All signs are pointing toward hybrid, but I gotta say, Donald by all accounts was unstoppable.

      I’m going to be very interested in seeing his 10 yard split. To me, that’s really important for a 3-tech DT. It shows explosion. If he comes close to Tommie Harris’ 10 yard split, I would have no problem getting him, though it might limit our D options.

      • MB30SD

        Thank you my maings

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          It’s going to be interesting. This is a copycat league, and right now the Seahawks are the top D. Everyone thinks they run crazy hybrids and formations, but really, they play some hybrid, but almost always use man, or cover-3 (from what I’ve read).

          They pretty much dare offenses to beat them through execution, not creativity. It’s funny because this was the exact sort of D Lovie ran. He always said, “The offenses know what we run. They just gotta beat us.”

          So for those expecting crazy ass hybrids with exotic looks and blitzes (like the Steelers) will be disappointed. Any one who read my “3-4” article I posted some threads back will learn that we’re going to run a “hybrid” much closer to the Texans or even Seahawks. Mostly 4-3 fronts with some 3-4/3-3 in nickle packages (if we get versatile studs who can actually play man, cover and blitz).

          • MB30SD

            Here’s my deal. Staff every position with a guy who’s good to very good and it shouldn’t matter what scheme you run. Like you said, if our guys can beat their guys 1:1 most plays… you should come out on top most times. Creative scheming should be used only when you need some luck or to turn the tides.

            …at least that’s the strategy I try to always run in my bedroom. ZING!

          • NewBearInTown

            So a few things.

            1. “Staff every position” is deceptive. On D especially, there are more than 11 positions possible. In a 4-3 vs. 3-4 (talking traditional here), there isn’t one position in the front 7 that transfers. When you go hybrid, you get guys like the “Leo” (switches between DE and OLB) or the “Rover” (safety that can step up to blitz or play LB).

            2. What you mean is, get 11 or 12 talented dudes that can play defense and create a scheme that works for them. But obviously, you can’t get 11 defensive backs or 11 nose tackles. You need a variety of talents.

            3. The issue on the Bears line right now is figuring out the answer to two related questions: Do we need to draft for size or for speed? Do we need more pass rush or run stop?

            Obviously you want it all, but you can’t draft everyone, you can’t pay everyone and you’re only allowed 11 guys on the field at a time. Emery drafted McClellin because he’s talented at rushing the passer and very athletic, but his talents don’t fit the other players at all. Hence, we’re stuck. The scheme should be fluid, but we have to have a clear vision of what skills each guy needs to bring to the field.

            Right now, I look at our defensive line as undersized, particularly if we’re looking to go hybrid. We’ve got Paea, who can play 1-tech, but not zero tech. We’ve got Wootton, who can play 3-tech or maybe 5-tech, but isn’t a true big man. We’ve got Peppers who’s a big DE, but again isn’t big man for the middle of the line. If we get some real size on the line, it will help a lot with our run-stop unit.

            We also need help with the pass rush, whoever we draft needs to be solid at setting up the pass rush. But Wootton and Peppers are both solid pass rush defenders – if we get a real big in the middle, the rushing stats will improve.

          • MB30SD

            1. Yes, I didn’t actually mean for this coming season. I meant over the next few years we need to build the D and have no obviously sub-par to turrible weak links (of which our D had at least 3 this year). Of course you can’t account for the level/number of injuries we had this year.

            2. Correct.

            3. That’s a strategy, and I assume one that they have or will discuss and agree on and then do their very best to execute with as much success as possible.

            My net-net, that I obviously didn’t communicate very well, is that we need the next couple FA and drafts to fill out whichever D scheme they decide on with not only the right physical builds/talents for that scheme, but also guys who are better than just average or even sub-par (looking at you CD, Wright, Conte).

            I agree with your overall analysis as well.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            What I find VERY interesting NB is that the Packers are letting Raji go not just for cap purposes, but for philosophical purposes.

            Supposedly, they want to get FASTER on D (presumably because they were burnt by Kap and running QBs so much).

            I’m not sure how that will turn out for them, because teams like the 9ers and Seahawks also can brutalize the middle.

            I wonder what template Emery envisions…the big fat boy in the middle (Raji, Nix) or the more athletic DT (Hagelman, etc).

          • NewBearInTown

            Its not an either/or proposition. But Raji apparently was upset they didn’t let him rush more than he did. Remember, three big bodies up front lets the OLBs fly.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            True, but DTs/DEs that are explosive, fast AND stout are rare.

            Usually, you get a Nix, or a Donal, or gamble on Hagelman who MIGHT be both.

            But rarely do Suhs come along. IF there were a Suh in this draft, he’d be gone by 14 anyways (like Clowney will be long gone).

          • NewBearInTown

            I don’t mean that you get a guy who’s just good at everything. I mean you get some guys that bring the speed and some that bring the size. Traditional 3-4 brings the size in the front 3 (basically 3 guys that weight as much as 4 usually do), and brings the speed in the linebacker group that use their quickness to exploit weaknesses created by a 2 gap system.

            Green Bay wants to sacrifice size in that front 3 for more of a dynamic group. But as you said, they’re going to have to compensate for that lack of size, probably with more run support from the middle linebackers.

          • Irish Sweetness

            What does Raji cost? It would be fun to sign him just to ram him right into Rodgers’ face twice a year.

          • Irish Sweetness

            Having fast, lightweight DL hasn’t fared too well for us. At an absolute minimum I want to see two DTs who do not get pushed backwards and do the exact opposite. Everything else is almost irrelevant. Own the POA. End of.

          • Irish Sweetness

            The ’85 defense could have played a 3-4, a 4-3, a 911, a doh-se-doh, or done the fkn moonwalk and the superbowl shuffle and the result would have been the same. Joe Ferguson, dead.

    • Johnathan Wood

      I really like Donald, and think he would be a great fit in a traditional 4-3 D as a 3-technique. Not so sure about the fit in the D they’re going to though. The size is worrying there, dunno if he’s quick enough to be a DE in a 3-4 front.

      I mean, he’s really short, has short arms, and is lighter than Peppers. That’s not exactly what you want in your DT. ESPECIALLY in the hybrid front, when you want your DEs to be 270+ and your DTs closer to 320.

    • Irish Sweetness

      Manziels’s not throwing at the combine. I wouldn’t either if I was I him. Ride that hype for all it’s worth

  • MB30SD

    $, this is for you: http://mom.me/mind-body/10239-funny-bumper-stickers/item/57789-22/

    *no idea how I ended up on this site

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      you are the king of sites I never heard of.

      • MB30SD

        And you sir, are a wonderful jester! Thank you for your service.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      oh, and MILFING. That’s how you got on that site. I just made that a verb.

      • MB30SD

        niiiiiice.

  • johnnywad
    • MB30SD

      I believe it’s 2014 Johnny. Man, you really are slipping.

      Jesus. shocking that he died from a snake bite.

      Like that kid who disappeared trekking through mexico alone… you mean he disappeared!??!?! Seriously!?!??! In mainland mexico?!?!?! Shut…. up…… smh.

      • johnnywad

        Or that asshole that was eaten by grizzly bears in Alaska with his girlfriend a few years back. “No it’s cool babe. Don’t sweat the bears. They dig me. I’m one of them now. Its all about trust.”. Then they ate both of them. Asshole.

        • MB30SD

          I saw that documentary. people are crazy. he was crazy. she was either an idiot or also crazy. I hear bears can smell crazy.

          • johnnywad

            That would be handy. You should get one. Keep it in your back yard. Then you can run a quick scan on the new “talent” when you bring her home. “Just stand here babe. You gotta let him smell you. Sorry dear. Its protocol now.”

          • MB30SD

            Ohhhhh, what a great id….

            wait… he’d give the signal for all of them. UNLESS he could differentiate between depth of crazy. Maybe a a little lick for bearable (see how I did that) crazy, and the full maul for the batshit ones. Luckily, I have a pretty good built in crazy radar already. Good idea though!

            That and it would be pretty awesome to have a pet bear… until you had to poop scoop his dumps. Those things must be massive.

          • Cormonster

            A pet buffalo would be pretty cool too.
            http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ4T9CQA0UM

          • MB30SD

            one of my favs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HOSjCT9Bko

            (btw, wtf was that show?!?! Holy cow… er… buffalo)

          • Cormonster

            It was from a 70’s movie. That gguy breaks down what happens in three video clips. Silly humor.

  • MB30SD

    at least he wasn’t an accessory to murder I guess. smha.

    http://tracking.si.com/2014/02/16/ray-rice-arrested-fiancee-ravens/?eref=sihp

  • MB30SD

    I need to get something off my chest.

    Turrible marketing. Man, it’s all over the place. Some of
    these spots are literally painful to watch.

    Like those jacks links commercials with sasquatch. Are you
    serious? Honestly, how awful are those. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGUshQPL8r4.
    Did you even crack a smile once during that commercial? Uhhhhgggg….

    And these people don’t know it cause they keep making them.
    Very much so proof that any exposure is driving sales and tricking the
    marketing monkeys into thinking their ads are awesome so they keep making more.

    Same for the geico commercials… all of them (well, except
    for the camel… watching that thing walk is mesmerizing. Huuump DAAAAAYYYY!).
    Even when they’re good, after like 100 of each theme, they get old. These
    marketing people have obviously never heard of the phrase, “jumped the shark”.

    The Wendy’s ginger girl commercials? Uggghhhhh… (she’s cute in a
    weird way though). Trivago? Seriously. That’s a weird German ad dubbed into English
    right? Please tell me yes. And here is one of the most annoying ads ever made: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8NzDydCk_M

    Now, commercials that are really smart, or cute, or just funny.
    Great ads.

    LOVE this one. Maybe it’s because Anthony davis looks like a
    fucking alien… but it’s such a funny concept and I love the way he keeps going
    as he get in his car and drives away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaIRUesJ2Ug


    Yeah, maybe I’m a little biased on this one.

    Cute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCK0WsH0wKE

    I like the So Co ones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrBMb82iv4Q

    Alright, what you guys got? Gimme some!

    • MB30SD

      ummmm… yeah.

      • NewBearInTown

        Meh. Marketing is one of those things that looks a lot easier than it really is. The best writers make being funny look effortless, but obviously that’s not the case. But there’s definitely a “too many cooks” problem, and a milk toast problem trying to come up with something that has broad appeal. I don’t do much in the way of TV, so I don’t really feel strongly on the subject.

        • MB30SD

          I came up through the marketing dept NB. most of it on the product side and not the corp side thankfully – the corp side is a joke in my estimation. So I my POVs aren’t frivolous.

          I 100% agree with you that good writers are THE hardest thing to find, and once you find one you have the makings of a great marketer because you can teach them all the other crap that’s somewhat formulaic… it’s ALL about the writing.

          Thus, my personal POVs come from a place of experience… I’d like to believe at least. That and I have a quirky sense of humor so… In the end commercials and humor in general are very personal things. That’s why I asked you guys for to post some of your examples. I’m curious to know what you guys think is funny.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Writers make the world go round…In the beginning was the Word, and Word was God.

            And God sayeth, “the word shall be used to…advertise!”

            So let it be written, so let it be done..

          • Cormonster

            “So sayeth the shepherd. ”
            “So sayeth the flock.”

          • Irish Sweetness

            I hate marketing/advertising … deeply and passionately …. but I’d love to write the commercials. I could do that shit in my sleep. Literally.

            American ads are terrible, in particular- and whoever does the Geico ads, they probably think they’re shit-hot, and clearly their bosses do too. It hurts.

            MB – is there such a thing as a website where companies post tenders for ad ideas and you send them one on spec? I don’t even know how you would search that.

            (then you’re a dumb-ass, dumbass…)

            Oh.

        • Irish Sweetness

          I honestly can’t think of any funny comedies in the last fifteen years other than ‘The Wedding Crashers’ … and … that’s it. The last classic was Blazing Saddles, for me. I’m gonna git you sucka was funny. I must be an old fart. Damn.

      • SC Dave

        That smart beep thing is fucked up, and I think its awesome. Thanks MB!

    • tobijohn

      I think the Direct TV ad are great:

      Quite a few of the Snickers ads are pretty good too.
      Geico ads have fallen on hard times but this was always one of my favorites:

      • MB30SD

        both good ones… just sad they don’t know when to retire the good ones.

    • AlbertInTucson

      On the other hand, I DO enjoy the Allstate MAYHEM spots. “Cheap Bungy Chord” is the latest in a long line of funny spots.

      • MB30SD

        Agree Al. Like that one.

        Some dude did it for Halloween here, was pretty good.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Insurance Companies now spend more on advertising than Beer Companies.

  • AlbertInTucson

    OK, Ray Rice, this is NOT what they mean by “Hard-hitting Running back”…

    However, Deadspin alleges that the incident between the couple was more violent.

    “According to our tipster, though, word at the Revel early Saturday morning was that a woman—presumably the fiancée—had spit on Rice and that in retaliation, he uppercut her, knocking her completely unconscious,”

    http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2014-02-16/ray-rice-arrested-domestic-violence-fiancee-revel-casino-atlantic-city-minor-physical-altercation?icid=maing-grid7%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D443541

    • MB30SD

      well, they seem like a lovely couple.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    Hahahahaha…

    http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/climate_desk/2014/02/internet_troll_personality_study_machiavellianism_narcissism_psychopathy.html

    here’s to all our pathetic little packer’s trolls!

    I have to admit, cheesey has become more of an ugly stray blog pet that we tolerate and throw our scraps to. The other morons that only come around after loses are the embodiment of the story above.

    • Trac

      Hahaha. Very good. I likely.

    • Cormonster

      I read the 1st paragraph and already knew it was written by a global warming zealot from the extreme left. Those freaks try to label anyone who questions “the consensus” as having psychological problems.

  • MB30SD

    can someone pls tweet this to Jeff, he says he’s obsessed with curling

    • Cormonster

      I enjoy watching curling. I like this version better.

      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LQPb4zKKwcs

      • MB30SD

        Awesome. I’d watch that…

        …who am I kidding, I still wouldn’t

      • SC Dave

        Sweet

    • Irish Sweetness

      I never understood his wanting to own a ‘curling bar’. Is he talking weights, or an actual bar that only shows curling? Don’t you need customers to make that shit work?

  • NewBearInTown

    I’m sitting here thinking Jeff really needs to put a new thread up. But then I look on PFT to see what’s news. I’d say 8/10 stories are related to either Jonathan Martin or Michael Sam.

    There’s plenty of Bears stuff to write about if you’re into the draft, or free agency or whatever, but Jeff doesn’t exactly drool over that stuff. Obvious choice would be an article about Julius Peppers or Roberto Garza.

    Either way, its time to sharpen the pen there blogfather. 555 comments on a thread featuring a Stephen Sondheim clip is enough.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      This is why some bloggers feel that in the offseason Jeff should accept “guest” articles, maybe even one of the regs.

      I understand Jeff’s reluctance to simply put up “filler” junk, but I would like to read something draft related that’s Bears-centric.

      Or maybe what Jeff would do in FA if he were GM (with an eye on the cap).

      • Trac

        It’s all good. MB’s coming up with some good comedic relief.

        • MB30SD

          doing my best Trac. This thing’s getting heavy on the ol’ shoulders though.

          • Trac

            You have no idea how true that is. I was wondering if you were getting tired. Lol

          • MB30SD

            it’s an outlet for me to be an idiot without censoring myself… unlike most other areas of my life. It’s easy to come on between email or writing copy for the new website, or our new partner deck or whatever and blow off a little steam.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Agree. It must be stressful to be jess the bod Ventura, dodging black helicopters powered by antigravity

          • Irish Sweetness

            Put it down son ….

    • Trac

      Jeff’s making a political statement and he’s using the blog as his theatre. He is the puppet master. He he.

    • Irish Sweetness

      The new thread should just say … ‘New thread’. No post necessary. It’s a real pain in the hole drilling down the thread the longer it gets, kind of puts me off bothering …

  • MB30SD

    while we’re stuck in 550+ post dollrums

    http://collegespun.com/homepage/photo-of-yao-ming-next-to-regular-sized-human-goes-viral#

    7’6″… sheesh. Crazy huh?

  • MB30SD
  • Trac

    I read a funny post on the incognito story. That dude is a total train wreck. How in the hell he made it this long in the NFL is a sad commentary on da league. He is everything my wife hates about the sport. What a meathead. Some of his actions lately have been oh so ironic.

  • MB30SD
  • NewBearInTown

    Okay SDPF. Here’s the bet.

    I bet McCown will not be a Chicago Bear on day 1 of the regular season. I say it that way to eliminate (1) sign or franchise and trade tricks by Emery; (2) any sign and get cut situations on other teams.

    You bet that he will.

    The stakes: Loser writes 500 words on why Devin Hester is bad for football and the NFL should eliminate kickoff returns

    • MB30SD

      Those two are mutually exclusive NB. I’ll write 500 words on the first part for free. SMHADH

    • Irish Sweetness

      The dude is worth 8 million, one year. Easy. Any team transitioning for a year / can’t draft their QB this year .. .he fits. If he signs for us this year then we have maybe the best QB roster in the league (in that our #2 is better than our #1).

  • tobijohn

    Here’s something Bears related. An article in SI written by Austen Lane, a DE the Bears just signed today:

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20130707/austen-lane-monday-morning-quarterback/

    • SC Dave

      I liked it.

  • NewBearInTown

    Okay, new topic for the fathers in the room.

    We have a really big “bonus room” in the basement that my boys want to move in to. Right now they’re sharing with the baby and they want their own space. So we’re clearing out the room and basically getting ready to turn this massive space (like 20×9) into a bedroom/playroom for my two boys. And there’s a good chance that boy #3 will move down there eventually as well when he gets older.

    I’m also using the experience as a nice way for the boys to do some home improvement projects and learn about using tools. We fixed the broken door frame with some wood glue and nails (they thought that was really cool), put in some weather stripping, and will probably look into some cheap shelving.

    For those who’ve done a project like this before. Give me some ideas. Decorating, furnishing, building out… whadaya got?

    • Irish Sweetness

      Make sure there is poor ventilation. Give them plenty of superglue and matches. Leave them alone with the power-tools. Place various propane tanks around the room and let them work unsupervised. Get them to make their own fireworks and tell them that semtex has a little more ‘kick’ than the other plastics. Life is all about learning from your mistakes.

      If you actually like your boys, then you might want to forget the first five and just get them involved with recess lighting and their own ideas for shelving – like an all-around shelving thing that flows into the home-entertainment hub.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    This just in “The Book of Mormon” is playing at the Pantages in Hollywoold. O-M-G! I knew they read this blog!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    “2/15: “A guy like recently-released safety Roman Harper —
    provided another team doesn’t spend big on him in free agency — would
    probably be more realistic than Ward.” – Michael C. Wright, ESPN”

    • Shady

      No thanks on gray bush.

      • MB30SD

        what is this new… just hunting and pecking on the blog. No real posts… just sniper pot shots from afar (see how I did that… getting you ready for the inevitable shortly)

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          I thought you were going to go for “I don’t like older chicks either.” Disappointing, MB.

          • MB30SD

            Hahaha… damn it! Missed that completely.

            I’m slipping. Fatigued setting in.

      • Irish Sweetness

        Oh dear. Oh Jesus ….

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    ProFootball Weekly still lives! Well, sort of. Nawrocki (the former scout for PFW) now works for NFL.com.

    I like him. He was one of my sources that I relied upon (though he can be over the top) because he not only sees tons of tape, but also voices what I suspect many in the scouting community tell their GMs but are too chicken (or P.C.) to tell the media.

    Rock gets a lot of flak, but I’m glad he got a gig, with the league no less.

    Let Festivus and the feats of weakness commence!

    “Johnny Manziel, QB. Suspect intangibles — not a leader by example or known to inspire by
    his words. Carries a sense of entitlement and prima-donna arrogance
    seeking out the bright lights of Hollywood. Is known to party too much
    and is drawn to all the trappings of the game. … Has defied the odds
    and proven to be a great college-system quarterback, but still must
    prove he is willing to work to be great, adjust his hard-partying,
    Hollywood lifestyle and be able to inspire his teammates by more than
    his playmaking ability.”

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000326191/article/johnny-manziel-leads-most-controversial-prospects-in-14-nfl-draft

    • MB30SD

      What I’ve been saying all along man. Way too risky.

      He could be the next cap/wilson… or the next v young. Kid’s an asshole.

      Pass!

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        It’s funny cuz I think the same criticism were leveled against Marino (that he screwed every cheerleader in the state while on coke). And guess what? Marino dropped in the draft, and he was way more pro-typical than Manziel.

        BUT, someone’s drafting Manziel in the top 10. If Ponder can go that high, Manziel will definitely go that high. Heck, he might even fall to the Vikes.

        He seems to me like a non-choker Romo, but parties more than him, so it’ll be very interesting to see how Manziel’s career turns out.

  • Irish Sweetness

    In case this gets lost in this crazy hazy thread … from a response above to MB. Check this out.

    Are Buzz Aldrin and Mike Collins credible enough sources for you ? The craft in the clip as actually filmed on a later mission, but they said it was the same type they saw from Apollo 11.

    What’s this at 0:50 ?

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