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A Nothing Team Led by Nothing Men Deserving Nothing From Their Loyal Fans

| December 16th, 2014

phone

In August of 2005 I self-produced my first play, Shore Points, at the Irish Arts Center in New York. It was a limited run but still ranks amongst the most exciting experiences of my life. I decided over the run to sell Coors Light cans in the lobby for the powerful, almighty “suggested donation” as a means of erasing at least some of the credit card debt I was quickly accruing. My family came. My friends came. Friends of my family came. Family of my friends came. And they all drank. A lot.

I took the cash and went to Ireland with Noah Brier, co-founder of this website, in October of that year. We were in a town called Dundalk on Sunday October 16th. Dundalk like many Irish towns is in a Catholic coma on Sundays aside from a few pubs specializing in fine Sunday roasts serving creatures most of us find cute. No smart phones. No open internet cafes. Nothing. And the Bears were playing the Vikings at noon CT.

We found a pay phone. And for three hours continually called a friend in New York. Every fifteen minutes or so. We didn’t stop calling until Thomas Jones ran in a longish touchdown early in the fourth quarter, making the game 21-3. Updates at an Irish payphone. More than $40 spent. That’s how much I care about the Chicago Bears. That passion led to the creation of this website a few weeks after I arrived back in the states.

For the last three weeks, for the first time in my life, I have watched the Chicago Bears play football and not cared an iota about the result. They have played the care out of me. They are a nothing team led by nothing men deserving nothing from their dedicated fans.

And that is what they shall receive from this column space for the next two weeks. Nothing. There will be no game previews for the final two contests. There will be no analysis of the games themselves. They don’t deserve the time required to do those things effectively. There will be content, of course, but none of that content will take seriously the on-field actions of such an embarrassingly passionless bunch.

New Year’s Eve is only two weeks away. With it comes the promise of new beginnings, new opportunities. But most excitingly, with a new year comes the opportunity to bury forever the most pathetic football team in the history of the proud Chicago Bears organization.

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