171 Comments

Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears Game Preview

| December 5th, 2013

ORTON

Note: It is very difficult to write a game preview for Monday night’s game with the Dallas Cowboys without knowing the outcome of the Detroit-Philadelphia game Sunday. Why? Because I think that result will greatly impact the energy in the Bears locker room and the enthusiasm of the faithful on a frigid night at Soldier Field. If Philly beats Detroit, the Bears will have an opportunity to win a single game and put a ton of pressure on the Lions down the stretch. Will they end up winning the division? More than likely not. But I don’t think it’ll be because Detroit wins out.

Why do I like the Chicago Bears this week?

I always like the Chicago Bears.

BUT WHAT FOOTBALL REASONS, JEFF?

  • Bears are 4-2 at home. Cowboys are 2-4 on the road. That, folks, is a trend.
  • Jeff Hughes will be sitting around the fifty yard-line. And we know the Bears never lose when he’s in attendance! (True fact, the Bears have never lost a primetime home game I’ve attended. This includes three fairly significant upsets.)
  • As bad as the Bears defense has been, the Cowboys defense is statistically worse. Dallas will have no conceivable means of dealing with the abundance of weapons presented by the Bears. Think about how many different ways the Bears can attack opponents these days.
  • Bears are most vulnerable against the run (see below) but the biggest knock on the Cowboys coaching staff this season has been their propensity to abandon the run too early in games. If the Bears can get just a tiny bit of a success in run defense early they could force the game onto Tony Romo’s shoulders.
  • I started to wonder midway through last Sunday’s game if Julius Peppers knows he’s now playing for NFL future. I hope he approaches the next four games that way.
  • Dallas does a poor job getting to the quarterback.
  • I think Devin Hester is going to get some opportunities for returns and I think he’s going to get into the end zone.

DA BEAR CONCERNS (EXTERNAL)

  • Concern #1. Who do you want to give the big game to? Demarco Murray? Maybe Dez Bryant will have a game-changing run since that seems to be the new Bears thing? All concerns begin and end Monday night with the Cowboys run game and there’s no reason to believe those concerns won’t be warranted. One might take solace in the knowledge that Dallas is the 26th ranked rushing offense in the sport. Then one would notice the Giants are 25th and Ravens are 29th. Neither struggled in any way to run the ball against the Bears (and both were in Chicago). I’ll set the rushing yards over/under at 171.
  • Concern #2. Jason Garrett and Bill Callahan will have watched a ton of tape on the Bears, picked up the telephone, called Jason Witten and said, “This is your week, sir.”
  • Concern #3: Josh McCown struggled identifying linebackers in coverage last week, especially at the start of the game. If Sean DOES play, there are few linebackers better in space these days.

DA BEAR CONCERNS (INTERNAL)

  • Concern #1.  It will be cold Monday night at Soldier Field but if the winds are swirling Josh McCown’s arm strength will be tested. If he can’t cut the ball through the wind and take advantage of the significant mismatch posed by the Bears wide receivers the Bears will have a difficult time moving the ball with any consistency against even this poor Cowboys secondary.

MATCH-UP OF REMARKABLE IMPORTANCE

jennings

  • Bears CBs Tim Jennings & Zack Bowman v. Dez Bryant. Dez has the Calvin Johnson and seemingly Alshon Jeffery-esque ability to beat his adversary exclusively with his speed and strength and Tony Romo is willing to toss the ball up in the air and let Bryant make plays. (Dez wishes it happened more.) Jennings and Bowman can’t allow Dez to wreck the game.

GREAT QUOTES

Sometimes I get sent around the internet, read something and think, “What the hell is this person even trying to communicate?” This from something called The Big Lead:

So if you’re one of those teams a “QB away” from possibly being a playoff team, do you invest $12-15 million in Jay Cutler – no, he’s not worth that, but that’s what he’ll look for…

To me, that leaves two teams: Oakland and St. Louis. Few willingly want to play for the Raiders, so Oakland would overpay for Cutler to land him. St. Louis, in the dome, is intriguing. With two top 15 picks in the draft, they could get a receiver first, make a play for Cutler, and then seriously think about dethroning the 49ers or Seahawks in the NFC West next year.

So Cutler isn’t worth a fair quarterback’s price but is the missing piece to unseat the two best teams in the conference? Does anybody think before they write anymore? Also, Phil Emery had just said this to ChicagoBears.com:

“With the franchise tag being so high for the quarterback position, to use it and not sign the individual to a long-term deal hurts the team because you lose the ability to prorate the amount of guaranteed salary over the length of the contract. Proration lowers the salary cap number in relation to that player’s contract. Obviously the lower the number in relation to the salary cap, the more players you can sign to help your team reach its goals.”

Does that sound like a GM ready to move on from his quarterback? Cutler is coming back.

I LIKE THIS PHOTO

CUTLERKA

THE MOST INTERESTING PLAYER ON THE FIELD

  • Bears DT Jeremiah Ratliff is not just playing him former employers Monday night but also putting together tape over the next month for the entire league to evaluate. Ratliff had a noticeable, positive influence even as the defense allowed Adrian Peterson to sculpt a 200-yard afternoon. Bears need Ratliff to steadily improve over the next few weeks if they’ll have any hope of returning defensively to the Land of Mediocrity.

THESE VIDEOS HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH FOOTBALL

Congrats, Coach.

STATISTICAL AWARENESS

Tweets from me early in the week:

Cutler/McCown combined stats for 2013 (NFL Rank): 63.9% completion (9th), 3,259 yards (6th), 22 TDs (8th), 9 INTs (19th), 94.6 rating (7th). Bears have the right players in the quarterback room.

WRAPPING IT UP IN A FEW SENTENCES

  • Bears deliver an inspired performance at home, shut down the Cowboys weapons outside and exploit the Dallas secondary with the best receiving corps in the sport. Bears allow 150 on the ground – the only thing keeping the Cowboys within strike range.

FINAL SCORE

  • Chicago Bears 28, Dallas Cowboys 20

Tagged: , , , ,

  • Ghost of Waffle

    Predictions:
    1. FG’s on 4th down in the red zone if 0-0 or behind only 7
    2. Jumbo package noticeably absent in red zone and goal line situation. Passes to the beasts instead. Short passes and moving the pocket to get conversions.
    3. Witten checked off the line consistently.
    4. Victory

    • MB30SD

      from your mouth to trestman’s ears yonny.

      Oh, and that’s my favorite Jay pic of all time.

      DOOOOONNNN’TTTT CAAAAAAARRRRREEE!

    • BillW

      Modification to your number 2 point: I’d rather them show the jumbo package but run a play fake off it.

      And to emphasize #1 – hey Marc – if points are so important why do you pass them up? The only time to go for it is when behind more than a full score AND it’s getting late in the game.

      Waffle – great concise keys to the game.

      • gpldan

        The “Great Britton” package is inherently stupid unless it’s 3rd and 1 or 4th and 1.

        It takes a player who can credibly threaten, and replaces them with one that can’t.

        Please cite any other team in NFL history that made it rain consistently using two left tackles simultaneously.

        • Ghost of Waffle

          agreed. Rhino packaage sucks Rhino sized cock.

          • CanadaBear

            Big Hairy Moose Cocks!

      • tobijohn

        Hopefully, they’ll be a little TelaDitkanisis going on:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o9EMciINX8

        • Cormonster

          Tobi, I was listening to this song last night and somehow I got a picture in my head of you strutting down the street in your epic jacket with your posse.

          http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvKaLW5bu8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DkTvKaLW5bu8

          • MB30SD

            Really?

            I kinda play this in my head picturing him strutting in his coyote jacket

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FECFb1_YdII

          • tobijohn

            Ha, especially the segment of Travolta standing in front of the mirror in his brief briefs admiring himself. I still do that although there’s a lot lacking these days….
            Remember, you guys make it to a DBB Bears game rendezvous and I’ll have the downtown Macys pull it out of storage and waiting for you. Scouts Honor though that you’ll return it…

          • MB30SD

            I don’t think I can agree to those terms… as fair as they may be. Better keep it in storage my man.

          • CanadaBear

            That would be beyond cool. Sounds like Johnny could rock it without much trouble.

          • CanadaBear

            OUCH!

          • CanadaBear

            Cool Song! I loved those guys when they were a Blues band.

          • tobijohn

            Me too, and I don’t really like the blues. Just listened to Kiln House for the first time in about a decade. Still great. I wonder how many people realize they wrote the Santana hit “Black Magic Woman”….

          • Cormonster

            A customer who I talk to a lot about music said he seen Fleetwood Mac open for Sabbath in Chicago in the early 70’s. That must have been one hell of a show!

        • MB30SD

          btw, teladitkakanesis… good one tobi. hee hee.

      • Ghost of Waffle

        Bill, a play fake off of that package is exactly what they shouldn’t be doing. They know we can’t run so why then send out Rosario, Fiammetta and Bush into pass routes with Britton staying in to block. If they run that formation i will kill Trestman’s family.
        You’ve got the best WR tandem in the league and a RB that runs slants better than most #3’s and a TE that is as big as a fucking house. THROW THEM THE FUCKING BALL TRESTMAN!!!!!!!

        • MB30SD

          Can you spare chole for me please?

  • Cormonster

    Any news on whether Cutler is practicing or playing Monday night?

  • gpldan

    Looks like a Scorpion XY XBox Count Chocula to me. That’s good stuff.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7ErWyhAQzc

    • MB30SD

      frank caliendo is TURRIBLE.

      So bad. Can’t stand that guy and don’t think he’s funny. Sorry.

      • gpldan

        He did a Jerry Jones that was funny

        • MB30SD

          It’s not that his impressions are bad or that he doesn’t have talent, I just personally find him horribly annoying.

          Or maybe it’s the way espn whores him out every chance the possibly get… or is it fox?

  • MB30SD

    BTW, RIP Nelson Mandela, who made up for his terrorist beginnings with his pacifist end.

    RIP mandiba… you did well, to what end I don’t know, africa is africa… but it’s better because of you.

    http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/28/africa/gallery/nelson-mandela/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

  • Ghost of Waffle

    MB, there’s something about her that makes me think she’d be the greatest sexual partner. So willing, so enthusiastic. A little thick but a total sexy mom.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/04/jessica-simpson-tight-dress_n_4383137.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

    • MB30SD

      Dumb as a bag of used claw hammers, but there is indeed something about her maings.

      I would punish her cervix and use her ass as a very fancy hat. “Sexual napalm” baby.

    • tobijohn

      Footwear News Achievement Awards? That sounds like something straight out of The Onion..

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      The correct term is “Milf.”

      • MB30SD

        true story

      • Ghost of Waffle

        she is so damn sexy. Total hot Texas mom that loves to blow with red lipstick.

        • CanadaBear

          Who needs to surf porn? I just check out the blog.

  • MB30SD

    Saw the wolverine last night.

    Badass… quick blog poll:

    If you could choose to drink a potion and become immortal, AND have the whole adamantine skeleton and claws thing (BUT, you’d have to endure the same excruciating process he did)… would you?

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      That means I would be able to bone hot young models for perpetuity.

      The question is – who wouldn’t?

      Also, it is an awesome movies. Waaay better than the first Wolverine. One word. Ninjas!

      • MB30SD

        yeah, but you would lose people you loved every 20-60 years, have to fight all the time, work forever, etc… etc…

        Don’t get me wrong, I’d probably do it too, just sayin it’s not all adamantine penis usage.

        Oh, and yeah, can’t really go wrong with ninjas. Also, his dead GF constantly showing up in a booby showing nighty didn’t suck.

  • MB30SD

    btw, went to Disneyland with my kids last weekend. By FAR and away The Pirates of the Caribbean is the very bestest most awesomest most coolest ride in that entire mess of a joint.

    Close second for me was it’s a small world (just on sentiment alone). The safari boat ride and peter pan’s flight would be up there too, but they are so short. Literally like 2-3 minutes. Lame.

    We didn’t hit tom sawyers boat ride or the haunted house or things like space mountain/the Matterhorn/the submarine thingy (little kids after all), but PotC is a seriously awesome ride. Will always be my favorite.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      Pirates of the Caribbean was always my fav ride, even before all the Johhny Depp movies (well, maybe tied with Star Tours). The main reason is that during hot days, you go into Pirates of the Caribbean and it’s nice and coooool. Once it was hot as hell, and we were on the ride, and it broke down! So basically I was stuck in that part where the Spanish Armada is seizing a citadel shooting cannon balls for like 30 minutes, and I was loving it. I could’ve been there all day lol

      • MB30SD

        awesome… loved that part… the one with the fat chick chasing that dude around and around with a rolling pin always cracked me up… even before I understood why it’s really funny/so realistic. Such a cool ride maings. Have always loved pirates and thought I would have made a decent one… although I lack that whole sociopath/psychopath thing.

        Another interesting item… although I really like Johnny Depp, I’ve never seen a single PofC movie. (but I do need to watch fear and loathing again soon)

        Oh, and my son (3) LOVED it, while my little girl (4.5) was scared of it. That’s right my big little man!!!

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          I saw the first one and always say I’ll check out the other ones, but I never do.

          I was a little disappointed when I went on that ride, and Disney took out the part where the Pirate chases a bar wench in circles. I guess some shrew from Wisc complained that it wasn’t P.C.

          SMH…

          • MB30SD

            it’s still there maings! They just swapped the characters and now the woman chases the man.

            More likely some stinky hippy from santa cruze

          • CanadaBear

            The first POC was good. The second one was OK. Some of the special effects are great. The third one I fell asleep in the theater. Went on forever. Oh well.

        • CanadaBear

          Been to Disneyworld/Epcot a couple of times in the mid to late ’70’s. Had a buddy that was a supervisor. Very cool place then. Have no idea if I could handle the crowds/kids now. I get claustrophobic in crowds so I avoid that as much as possible. I’d still go to a Bears game or a big concert but that’s about it.

  • MB30SD
    • SC Dave

      I like New Balance shoes. Though I’d rather not wear shoes at all – need to get that retirement property in Ecuador on the beach first tho…

      • CanadaBear

        Just so you know Dave, I’m expecting an invite if you ever get that property. Sounds like it would be heaven.

        • SC Dave

          Ok Canada… remind me I said “yes” when it happens 🙂

      • tobijohn

        Well, it’s a nice thought but the humidity will prove to be the buzzkill…

        • SC Dave

          Quite possibly… kinda picked Ecuador off the top of my head. Have only been to one country in S. America.

          • MB30SD

            I’d go with:

            1. Panama (because it’s pretty ‘new’ and ‘raw’ and cheap and there’s tons of surf
            2. Belize – went here on my honeymoon. Amazing place and they speak and take american dollars
            3. Costa Rica – just too popular now even though there’s tons of great surf too
            4. Guatemala – unspoiled and cheap, but no surf on carib side

            those are obviously Central Am.

            If you’re going on the big continent, you kinda can’t go wrong with any of the bigger stable countries like Argentina, Peru, Uruguay, and many places in brazil

  • gpldan

    Johnny opens up with the Vainisi question back in 86

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=944TKgamGWs

  • AlbertInTucson

    Someone should remind “The Big Lead” that Ignorance is NOT an opinion.

  • MB30SD
  • Johnathan Wood

    In regards to the paying a QB debate: every team who is happy with their veteran starting QB (read: not on a rookie contract) has given him a contract at $15M+ a year. NO, GB, BAL, DET, DEN, NE, ATL, PIT, I’m sure there are more I’m forgetting. The only possible exception is KC, but people say Smith is the one holding them back.

    If you’re a proven veteran QB in your prime like Cutler, you’re getting $15M+ a year. It’s the market right now.

    • Johnathan Wood

      and I think Cutler will be back; it’s almost a foregone conclusion at this point.

      But if he gets traded elsewhere (yes, traded, no way they let him walk), the most obvious spot is Cleveland. Weak division, weak conference, strong roster with the exception of QB (particularly OL, defense, and passing targets), lot of extra draft picks (extra 1st, 3rd, and 4th this year), cap room, team that hasn’t won in a long time and is desperate to win.

      Put Cutler on the Browns and they’re the best team in the AFCN and up there with NE and DEN as the best teams in the AFC, IMO. (also: the AFC really really sucks)

      • Trac

        I wonder if Phil expects to sign Cutty before the draft? Surely that almost has to happen.

        • Johnathan Wood

          You have to think Jay will be tagged if they don’t agree to a deal before the deadline in January. No way you can risk letting a QB of his caliber walk in his prime for nothing.

      • BerwynBomber

        I can’t see Cutler turning the Browns into an immediate playoff team. He has never shown he is a water-to-wine guy in terms of surrounding talent, or as the case would be, lack thereof. But I would agree he would upgrade the Browns at QB. As he would in Oak. Though I wonder if Oak wishes to give McGloin a longer look before committing huge money to a 30 year old. Anyway, should be interesting. I think a lot of what transpires will be based on the market for Cutler. If it is viable it could spell trouble. If there’s not much of one, then a long-term deal might be rather easy. I also think his wife could help in the Bears in negotiations as I would assume there would not be a ton of cities she would prefer over Chicago.

        • Johnathan Wood

          Cleveland is a QB away from being a good team. They have a young stud WR (with a decent complementary guy in Little), a good young TE, a good OL, and a very good defense.

          • BerwynBomber

            Didn’t know about their WR corps or their OL. Did know about their TE who has a sort of Greg Olsen look about his game. Their Defense is ranked 22nd in Aikman’s ratings which I think are about the best/most indicative available. (Bears are 24th.)

          • MB30SD

            yeah jon… a qb away from being good?! come on dude. That team couldn’t be good with two probowl sides (actually playing the game) with that curse they have going on.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRBDMMVctu8

            Anyone know why they are cursed btw?

          • BerwynBomber

            There’s no goat, black cat or Babe Ruth trade stuff in their past. But they did screw up with Modell who was hated because the city loved Bernie Kosar and Belichick didn’t and (rightfully) had him shipped out. Thus, when Modell asked the city to finance a new stadium the city flipped him the bird and only two years before the city had agreed to finance a new stadium for the Indians who were horrible (a few decades) up till the time they moved. Thus, Modell thought “screw this, I’ve put some winning and competitive teams on the field and you won’t help me” and then moved the team to Baltimore. Modell has an unfortunate rep and wasn’t always the most cuddly owner, but in that particular case I couldn’t blame him for saying F-this. Can’t speak to the rest of the teams, although when the Indians were competing for WS titles in the 90s they never quite had the pitching. And in terms of the Cavs, they probably had better over-all teams than the Bulls in the late-80s but we had #23.

  • Trac

    Dear Uncle Jeff,

    Currently, Devin Hester ranks 12th in average yards per Kick Return and 20th in average yards per Punt return. At what point in this young season will we see the rejuvenated ridiculous player that you seemed to indicate he would be at the start of the season? Could it finally happen after the Bears clinch a playoff berth? he he.

    Clyde Schmeckpecker
    Chicago, IL

    • johnnywad

      And that includes a game on a swamp against a piss poor specials unit in which he set the return yardage record for the franchise. Can’t take the game away from him but if you could, his season is forgettable at least to this point for a third year in a row. Four left. I hope he at least gets one more so they will stop comparing him with Sanders. Interceptions for touchdowns and kick/punt returns for touchdowns are different enough they should not be regarded in the same way. Imagine how many more he would have if he were actually a capable DB. Sanders wouldn’t even be close.

      • MB30SD

        Hey, at least he’ll always have that whole, “I beat a cheetah in an unfair foot race” thing!

      • SC Dave

        I was disappointed for him that the record breaking punt return got wiped on a dubious holding call

        • johnnywad

          Same here. There have been a few over the years negated by either holding calls that weren’t holding, or holding that had no effect on the outcome of the play

    • gpldan

      I knew all these years you were from the Schmeckpecker clan, Trac. I just knew it!

      • Trac

        Ha, actually that wasn’t mine. I’m from the Slim Goodbody Clan.

  • MB30SD

    please file under the “Karma’s a biatch” category.

    http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/06/world/americas/mexico-radioactive-theft/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

    Morons.

  • MB30SD

    since I was on the topic yesterday… but why the fuck is ours the only one hacked? Lame.

    http://www.totalprosports.com/2013/12/05/nfl-logos-as-disney-characters-pics/#1

    • ChrisCurmudgeon

      Forget about that and scroll down to the video.

      • MB30SD

        ? which one chris.

  • MB30SD

    interesting interview with Brandon Carr (cowboys corner) about BMarsh and other stuff: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000293283/article/brandon-marshall-i-dont-like-playing-vs-brandon-carr

  • BerwynBomber

    Regarding a couple of concerns. Worrying about Jason Garrett and Bill Callahan is like worrying about Leslie Frazier and Mike Singletary. Garrett is not a good coach. He tends to panic and go ultra-conservative in crunch time. Much as Trest deserves his criticisms from last week we should not be overmatched in the coaching department. Also, although McCown is not equipped with the NFL’s strongest arm, neither is Romo. I personally think Romo gets a bad rap at times (and his ridiculous contract doesn’t help perception), but as accurate as he often is, his arm strength is only average as well. Hence, if you’re worrying about McCown’s passing in frigid windy weather, their guy will be having the same issue. Neither of these guys has a Cutler or Stafford-like gun.

  • MB30SD

    World Cup draw on ESPN2 right now

    • Shady

      Whoooo caaaaaaarreessss?

      • MB30SD

        dooooooooouuuuuche

  • MB30SD

    Oh fuck, we’re in group G… with Germany… Ghana… and wait for it… Portugal.

    Jesus.

    I guess the silver lining is fucking italy and spain aren’t in too. SMFH.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      G for “Gonna get knocked out”

      Are you kidding me? I think even Ghana can beat the U.S.

      • MB30SD

        yeah, we’re definitely the dog of our group.

        There are only a couple easier groups, but we’re def in a brutal one.

        • Trac

          I thought we were the dog every Cup. My other team is the Aussie’s(my Dad’s Australian) but they’ve got Spain to contend with.

          • MB30SD

            aussies. soccer?!? BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, good luck with that my man. Better to back the US maings.

            US has slowly been climbing the ranks in the last 3-5 years. We’re ranked 14 @ FIFA while the aussies are around 59… just below the good old RSA baby.

          • Trac

            Yeah I know, sentimental pick every cup. I hope some new blood wins it this time.

          • MB30SD

            the opening match is a recap of last WC’s final, espana v dutch. Should be a really fun match.

          • SC Dave

            We are no longer the dog in every Cup. That stopped about 1994. The real dogs were when we couldn’t even qualify.

      • SC Dave

        iirc Ghana eliminated us from the last two World Cups. We lost in the quarterfinals to Germany in 2002. Portugal has not, to my knowledge, affected us as yet.

        • SC Dave

          And by the way, Jurgen Klinsman is now our coach. So we have a German to tell us how to beat them bastards. But they are good… damn good… fucking good.

          The big three are Brazil, Germany, and (it so pains me to write) Italy.

          • MB30SD

            uhhhh, forgot spain dave

          • MB30SD

            ze germans

  • MB30SD

    btw, nate silver is such a massive nerd. (NTTAWWT)

  • MB30SD
    • AlbertInTucson

      “So, how would you like to PAY this fine, Mr. Moss? Cash? Check? Money order? Visa? MasterCard? American Express? Sorry, we don’t take Discover.”

      • MB30SD

        hahaha

      • bearsfantillend

        if it was Randy it be “Straight Cash Homie”

  • gpldan
  • gpldan

    Is Don Fueling competing at Double Door?

    http://www.ditkalookalike.com/biography.html

    • MB30SD

      Meeeeehhhh… I give him a 7.

  • MB30SD

    Kubiak fired.

    • Trac

      Looks like lovie may have found a new gig. I hope he gets it, he deserves another chance without angelee hanging around his neck.

      • MB30SD

        will end up with the same result Trac.

        Great D, O that just can’t pull anything together, ok to turrible assistant coaches, team that’s insanely frustratingly ok to decent. Beating shitty teams, sometimes lucking out with the ok-to-good teams, always getting obliterated by the good-to-great teams.

        9-7 will always be lovie’s battle cry. Fuck that guy, fuck him right in his clueless blank stare.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        The Texan’s issue wasn’t D. Wade Phillips is a good DC.

        Their problem was at QB and finding a consistent offensive attack. If the Texans hire Lovie, they should also tell him their GM is hiring the O.C. and that’s non-negotiable. Lovie could fill out the Specials, D and everything else, but nothing to do with O.

        Wouldn’t it be funny though if Cutler got tagged and traded to the Texans and reunited with Lovie in 14 though?

        • BillW

          I always thought Jauron could succeed the second time around if he learned from being too stubborn and hanging on to Shoop. But I was wrong. Wanny wasn’t any better his second time around either. So while two examples don’t make a trend, I think retread failed coaches are more likely to keep on failing – esp stubborn arrogent ones. (I know 9-7 average is not “failure” but I assume you all get my point.
          From an earlier post I just saw – I think Splash Mountain ranks close to Pirates as a pure Disney enjoyable family ride. The steep drop lasts only a short time so no need for anyone to panic over it. It too is a very good ride on a hot day – much but not all of it is indoors – and of course there is the Splash.

    • MB30SD
      • gpldan

        Jinx.

        • MB30SD

          exactly. was thinking the same thing… we posted it at almost exactly the same time.

          hee hee

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            get a room.

          • MB30SD

            a chatroom?

    • BerwynBomber

      Kubiak lasted much longer than I thought. That’s one of the benefits of not coaching in a major city or for a franchise with a ton of good history/high expectations. Much longer leash.

  • gpldan

    Why do the Jags have gold on the back of their helmets that makes it look like the shoe polish over a Notre Dame helmet wore off?

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Daisy Fuentes was on FF podcast. Don’t know if she’s still hot, but she has a sexy ass voice. It’s that raspy smooth velvety voice that greets you on the other end of 976 numbers (do they still have 976 numbers?)

  • gpldan
    • MB30SD

      show the bottom 2/3rds I say! Before ye judgeth.

      She always had a propensity for that… full… latina bottom half

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Hey, I might be getting my mom a tablet for Xmas. I could go on google into random geek forums, but there’s enough geeks here to fill a Doctor Who convention, so two questions:

    1. Are tablets just portable TVs with some laptop functions, or are they just like laptops but slimmer and ‘cooler’?

    2. Which tablets would you guys recommend (around the $400 price range)?

    • MB30SD

      accessing brain information…

      verizon… and please move your beverage away from your keyboard, it’s making me anxious.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Vk3SxFxj0

      • MB30SD

        ok ok… this: http://www.samsung.com/global/microsite/2014galaxynote10.1/

        Please this. The iPad sucks balls.

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          Thanks Dude. Saw that one too, but doing my homework. The Sony Xperia was waterproof, so one can look at porn in the shower, but the glare on it looked pretty horrible.

          Checking out the samsung (I generally like Samsung). So no go in Ipads, eh?

          • MB30SD

            they are fine, just depends on what you’re looking for… I have one and I don’t like it at all. I am MUCH more of an android guy, for everything. Just like the OS so much more. apple is all about looks, while android is all about doing cool shit, hence….

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blhvo3Idoew (the multitasking is the HUGE thing for me, no multitasking is literally insane. renders the ipad almost useless)

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE7AQY5Xk9w

          • MB30SD
          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            What, but I want to look cool at a cafe, and can’t do that without an apple product!

            Bwhaha…thanks for the info. I’ll def check out your recs and prob get it.

          • MB30SD

            coolio

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        My gold laden bejeweled Chalice? Never! So a verizon tablet? Was looking at a Sony Xperia Z.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2h9Ocrkmp0

        • MB30SD

          see below and please trust me… unless your mommy doesn’t need the best. If you just want to get her a more portable way to browns QVC online and watch opra on youtube, get her whatever.

        • MB30SD

          yes, it make it extremely glare.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Next life, remind me to choose parents with great genetics…

    Free agent Tim Tebow has been offered a four-month,
    $200,000 contract by the Milano Seamen of the Italian federation for
    American football.

    “The offer has been made to his agent and now we’re waiting
    for a response,” Seamen president Marco Mutti said. “We would be more
    than happy to have him.” The chances of Tebow accepting the offer are
    around zero. Tebow has said numerous times that he’s only interested in
    playing football in the NFL.

    – rotoworld

    • gpldan

      Italian Seamen?

      • Shady

        Now THAT’S a spicy meat-a-ball.

    • MB30SD

      that dude is delusional. only play in the nfl. timmy, dude…

      and $200k… lame.

  • MB30SD

    i would have chosen Group E for us if given the choice

    https://twitter.com/BBCFarayi/status/409012752284258304/photo/1/large

  • Trac

    Yikes, it looks like the thieves that stole a cargo truck with radioactive material showed up at a hospital in heap big trouble. How in the heck does this stuff get stolen so easily? Are we sending our radioactive waste to mexico? Pretty sad when you think about it. Has anyone figured out what we’re going to do with all the harmful waste our reactors produce? Can’t we give it to the “tall whites”?

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/L/LT_MEXICO_RADIOACTIVE_THEFT?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-12-06-14-07-00

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    haha…we should implement the Sako-award/tattoo punishment to the last place team in FF. That should keep owners from abandoning their team (Skip the nonsense and just go straight to the tats).

    http://espn.go.com/fantasy/football/story/_/page/TMR131205/matthew-berry-players-loves-hates-week-14-fantasy-football-rankings

  • gpldan

    Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for the Russians.

    They have figured out how to combine two fun activities: driving and ziplining!

    http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/198ienpbxso0hgif/ku-xlarge.gif

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      Vodka.

      Would that technically be considered a DUI?

      • gpldan

        ZUI?

  • Sactowns#1

    Tis the season! Some great ones in here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELM13TiyUTQ&list=RDPHKlaxP-VEg

  • Ghost of Waffle

    http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/illinois-girls-basketball-players-suspended-racy-hand-gesture-172308236.html
    These girls embarassed themselves but i posted this because of the incredible effort one commenter made to go through every verbal permutation in existence to describe the act.

  • MB30SD
  • AlbertInTucson

    “What’s been so interesting about much improved 2013 Bears offense: they seem to have plateaued at around the 21 pt mark. McCown’s ceiling?”

    Just hope it’s not TRESTMAN’S “ceiling”.

  • MB30SD
  • Ghost of Waffle

    http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2013/12/07/is-lockheed-martins-hypersonic-spy-plane-a-warfare.aspx
    Dude, this is badass but I can’t see humanity making it another 50yrs without a signficant nuclear war or nuke attack.

    • Ghost of Waffle

      lol, i’m still buying Lockheed though.

      • Ghost of Waffle

        …or more Lockheed I should say.

  • MB30SD

    god people are morons

    http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/mom-under-fire-post-baby-body-selfie-215700858.html

    hey fat lazy chicks who use birth as an excuse to stay fat lazy and gross… shut the f* up quit whining and get your fat asses into the gym to regain some self respect.

    Too much?

    • MB30SD

      oh, and she is DEFINITELY a MILF.

      • Cormonster

        Definitely a milf. What happens to fake tits during and after pregnancy? Do they enlarge and can women breastfeed? If so, do they require a surgical “adjustment” after so the boobies don’t look deformed? Inquiring minds want to know.

        • MB30SD

          ok, here’s the scoop… and I can only talk from my personal experience.

          1. Nothing in my ex’s case, they looked just as amazing before, during, and after… but she has alien DNA and has a super model’s body no matter what she does.

          2. Yes thank jesus and my god I LOVED it.

          3. Yes… but not all. Sometimes the duct is cut or damaged. Depends on how the job was done and the woman’s physiology

          4. Sometimes. It can happen. Again, depends on the woman and the doctor and the job done.

          5. Extra bonus points and probably TMI, but breast milk tastes amazing. It’s sweet and delicious. And personally, so damn hot when it leaks or squirts out during sex…. which is normal when a lactating woman gets aroused.

          …and no, I’m not a doctor, I just play one on TV… and this subject is near and dear to my heart.

          • Ghost of Waffle

            it’s like you have a titty doctorate.

          • gpldan

            That’s the name of Miley Cyrus’ new band.

          • MB30SD

            Hahahaha… she’s yucky.

          • MB30SD

            I would take that course if offered anywhere.

            Also I’m a curious person and ask a lot of questions when I get the chance.

  • MB30SD
    • EnderWiggin

      Jonathan Goldsmith could be the most underpaid person on the planet.

  • MB30SD

    sucker punching someone is so fucking cowardly

    http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/videos/sharkeisha/

    dumb biatch is going to get what she deserves.

    • johnnywad

      What’s worse? Sucker punching someone or letting the world know you’d prefer to be called Sharkeisha over your given name? Ridiculous. Seems to me there is a very large segment of folks
      that hhave spun so far outside of normal behavior, anything goes. NOTHING is out of bounds. And they feed off of each other. The worse it gets, the worse it gets. Its like the old saying “The more I drink, the more I drink.”.
      Anybody here remember when people were ashamed to be caught in a shameful act? Now its the opposite. People commit shameful acts on purpose and post the videos on the internet. And those people are breeding, thereby ensuring it only gets worse.

      • johnnywad

        Like in the new game “knockout” sweeping the nation. You posted it here MB. Those little fuckers actually knocked out a lady pushing 80 years old. God help them if it happens in front of me. They will get a beating they will remember the rest of their lives. Consequences be damned.

      • MB30SD

        yeah, seems like it’s the usual story maings. the disenfranchised, or those that perceive it to be that way (I’m a big believer in if you build it, it will come) are the perpetrators (and that 100% transcends skin color and/or nationality and sometimes even economics… I’m looking at you hernandez)

        And while this behavior is disgusting, in places like south america and especially africa, those same environs and circumstances lead not to games like the knockout game, but people just killing each other. In much of africa a life has very very little value… mostly because there’s almost no opportunity for anything other than abject poverty and the perpetuation of the status quo… which is… abject poverty and violence in and out of the home.

        Not sure what my point is, but sharkeshia needs to go to jail and the video of her sitting in jail for a few years needs to go viral. Thugs.

  • MB30SD

    great dbackfield 101

    http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/greg-cosell-film-review-seahawks-didn-t-beat-225646991–nfl.html

    Basically the opposite of us. Sucks we have two pbowl corners and a couple guys from a neighborhood pick up game at safety. smmfh.

    btw, Cam Chancellor… will you have my baby?

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