300 Comments

Alshon Jeffery’s Knack for Spectacular the Signature of Offensive Renaissance in Chicago

| December 16th, 2013

jeffery

“Whenever there’s nothing to do, yes there is. Throw it up to Alshon.”

-Michael Irvin, NFL Network

11:08 remaining in the 4th quarter. 24-17 Browns. After a pair of dud plays on first and second downs the Bears were facing third-and-eleven. If they fail to convert they’ll be punting the ball and the momentum to Cleveland. They might also be punting away their 2013 season. Cutler takes the snap, meanders in a pocket for a few seconds…

There’s nothing to do.

Yes there is!

Throw it up to Alshon!

Touchdown.

Yes, I know the ball floated to the goal line by Cutler turned out to be a free play due to a roughing the passer penalty. But the play, the moment, the catch was the turning point of a ball game that seemed to be getting far, far away from the Chicago Bears. Just as Jeffery’s catch at the end of the first half against the Cowboys set the stage for second half rout. Just as Jeffery had single-handedly kept the Bears in the game with Minnesota two weeks earlier by playing keep away from over-matched Viking corners. Brandon Marshall is one of the best receivers in the sport. But Alshon Jeffery’s knack for the spectacular has become the signature of an offensive renaissance in Chicago. And you now get the feeling, because of Jeffery’s presence, the Bears can score a touchdown on every single play.

Phil Emery struck gold in the second round of the 2012 draft, grabbing Jeffery after receivers with names like A.J. Jenkins, Brian Quick and a traded-up-for Stephen Hill were off the board. The knocks on Jeffery were not football related. They were food related. He ate too much. From a PFT piece during last year’s Combine:

Pre-Combine rumors swirled that South Carolina wide receiver Alshon Jeffery might show up to Indianapolis overweight. Jeffery apparently reacted to the speculation, shedding a significant amount of pounds and reporting to the Combine at 216 on Friday. Jeffery admitted he played his final college season weighing in the 230s. He also conceded that 216 pounds is the lightest he’s been since high school. The sudden weight loss begs the question of whether Jeffery has lost strength. He is not used to being so small, and muscle usually goes first when a person is trying to drop pounds rapidly.

So because Jeffery spent too much time at Columbia-area Chik-fil-A restaurants during his tenure as a gamecock, the Chicago Bears now have the most explosive young receiver in the sport? Works for me. Muhsin Muhammad famously said Chicago is where receivers go to die. Tito from Oliver & Company said, “If this is torture, chain me to the wall.” Well if these are dead wide receivers, spare me the living ones.

Muhammad is broke now.

“…the two-time Pro Bowler was buried in bills and forced to sell a home that boasted, ‘the largest private aquarium in the Southwest,’ on eBay.”

The more truthful maxim to sum up Moose might be: Chicago is where aging receivers go to collect a ridiculous pay check from Jerry Angelo and underperform.

Chicago is instead where receivers are currently coming to thrive and no pair of starting receivers in the league is thriving more. 2,450 yards between Jeffery and Marshall. 17 touchdowns. 120 first downs. Marshall was expected. He’s a number one receiver no matter the coach or quarterback. He hasn’t registered less than a thousand yards since his rookie campaign in Denver.

Marshall’s upside is Marshall. Jeffery’s upside is the best wide receiver in the league.

Jeffery’s only comparison in the league IS the great Calvin Johnson. They are the masters of the jump ball – too big, too strong, hands too good – for any defensive back to keep them down over the duration of a sixty-minute contest. Johnson has always looked a man amongst boys. Over the last three weeks the same can be said for Jeffery.  Jeffery isn’t Johnson. Maybe he’ll never be Johnson. But it would not be unfair for the expectations of Bears to start veering in that direction.

It is impossible to know what the remainder of the 2013 holds for the Chicago Bears, whose performances against the Lions and Vikings recently have left them needing help to find a berth in the postseason. But one thing is certain when it comes to 2014 and beyond: the Bears have the most exciting young receiver in the sport.

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  • Saren Arterius

    Not bad for a fat, slow, lazy WR with a shitty attitude huh? Good call, scouts.

    • Mike Foote

      Don’t forget, Lane Kiffin told him he would be “pumping gas the rest of his life”. Well, I guess he was right, pumping gas into his BMW anyway.

  • MB30SD

    lions have to lose tonight. period.

    Oh, and fuck the lions.

    • Mike Foote

      You spelled Packers wrong.

      • MB30SD

        fuck em both mike

        • Mike Foote

          May Ditka bless you sir.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    Full disclosure:
    On draft night I wanted Brian Quick, Rueben Randle or Stephen Hill. I saw the pundits and the little back stories on each one and thought they could do no wrong. They would all be doing pretty well with this system but it was when I clicked on his Youtube highlight video and saw what he could do as a fucking SOPHMORE in college with a shitty quarterback that I knew this kid was special. The body control and long strides made me get a huge Bears boner.
    We thought things were progressing nicely and he had an injury plagued and nice average first year….and then Brandon Marshall got a hold of him and showed him a world where he could physically and mentally own the guy across from him. Conditioning, mental prep, route running, strength training, flexibility, nutrition, therapeutic massage and chiropractic work…..the fucking list goes on. The thing is that Jeffrey completely bought into that shit. He didn’t fuck around like E-Rod and he has more tools than Joe Anderson who was also down there. This is going to get crazy.

    • Saren Arterius

      His college highlights look like a Brandon Marshall highlight compilation. He’s a little different from Marshall in the NFL though, gets separation better (Marshall doesn’t really need separation, he creates it with his body) and he gets downfield faster.

      • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

        and it’s going to get better and better every year. Scary.

    • Barb UMihai Mar

      Also the OC was calling plays like he was betting the ponies.

  • BearFanInDE

    I have to constantly remind my self that the Bears have receivers now…ones that keep opposing DCs up at night. Ones that will make highlight reels (as opposed to mostly defensive playes we’ve gotten used to for over a decade)

    Does this make up for the CD McClellin 1st round pick?

    • gpldan

      CD was a joke yesterday. Did not shed one block, did not pressure even once.

      Watch the game again, it was all coming from Ratliff, Woot and sometimes Pep with Cohen in there at times – at least that guy has a motor.

      • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

        If Cleveland would have run that read option all game they may have broken the NFL record for rushing.
        Thank god they are Cleveland though so they did it on 1 drive.

        • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

          If Emery is honest with himself he plays Ozougwu or Bass over McClellin.

          • MB30SD

            yonny… maybe you could go give it the college try? Shit, anyone’s better than chicken

          • gpldan

            I agree.

            I envision going Mickey from Rocky on Shae. Make him chase chickens around and say “contain contain – don’t let him past you! contain! You’re a greasy fast Italian tank!”

          • MB30SD

            how about cutting his ass. dude’s just taking up space

          • Johnathan Wood

            cutting him costs them $2M on the cap next year (that is, $2M more than paying him to be on the team)

          • Barb UMihai Mar

            They should try the thing called coaching before cutting him. Try putting him in a position at least close to his natural position.

          • MB30SD

            which is??

            …maybe a stand up situational DE/OLB on a bad college football team?

          • gpldan
          • Johnathan Wood

            I don’t get why Bass keeps staying behind McClellin. That better change going into next year.

            I would be perfectly happy with a DL next year that consists of Ratliff, Collins, Paea, and a 1st/2nd round pick at DT with Wootton, Bennett, Bass (3rd DE), and McClellin (4th DE) at DE. McClellin at 10-15 snaps a game rushing the passer won’t kill you.

            But yesterday McClellin played more snaps than anybody else on the DL, per PFF. That’s shit.

          • SC Dave

            Agree with all this. I wonder if the metrics on pass rush effectiveness with CD in the game still hold up.

            I must confess I was surprised when Emery said the pass rush (*team effectiveness*) was highest when McClellin is in the game. I don’t see how, but then again those guys watch a hell of a lot more film than I do.

          • bearsfantillend

            they keep Bass behind McClellin, for the same reason Mark Anderson started ahead of Alex Brown. GM’s and Coaches have huge egos, and they don’t want to admit that one of their 1st round picks could possibly be a bust. The kid had one good game against GB and all you heard from Emery was about how good his pass rush is, after all the games he did nothing on the field, notice how quiet it was from the GMs office. it might not be the Coaching staff wanting him in there but shit flows downhill so i am guessing there is there is pressure to play him from higher ups.

          • Johnathan Wood

            Anderson was a 5th or 6th round pick. But yeah, that’s why McClellin starts. Hopefully that goes away for next year. We’ll see.

      • http://www.upitpuppet.com/ evantonio

        rodgers is still out.

  • MB30SD
  • Shady

    This post gave me a solid Bearce boner.

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      bonerce

  • MikeBrownhadaPosse

    Can’t WAIT to see the Kitties lose tonight.

    • Shady

      If there’s one guy (besides Romo) who can out-Lions the Lions it’s Joey Flaccos.

  • Johnathan Wood

    I am hoping Wilson is Jeffery 2.0. Different player in that he’s not as physically imposing, but still long and has surprising speed. Give him an offseason working out with Jeffery and Marshall and putting on weight and I think he’ll be ready to ball next year.

  • gpldan

    I keep waiting to see the Bears line up Jeffery, BM and Wilson and go for the long ball hit to Wilson. If the kid is the burner they say he is, and Bears could score with him at least once this year, it would drop the safeties out and give BM and EB more room to run underneath,

  • Barb UMihai Mar

    You should never say that most of NFL GMs are shit and don’t really understand this game. There are guys on your site that think they are all Top Dogs. I mean, they fucked up this year also with Allen from San Diego. Now I’ve never, ever watched a college football game (I find it stupid, maybe it’s because I’m romanian) so I’ve never seen him play. But after just a bunch of clips and interviews I knew he was the best WR in the Draft.Well…the fucking GMs went for shitty fast-but stupid WR. I’m happy Emery is not that…he gets it. He ‘don’t’ give a fuck about bullshit.

    • gpldan

      MBHP really is a Top Dog, though.

      • Barb UMihai Mar

        Who is that ?

        • gpldan

          You have never heard of MBHP?

          He’s only an internet legend, man. Like Mendax or Bob Dobbs, his contributions to net culture are so great, Wikipedia said he couldn’t have his own page because it would be too awesome.

          • Doc Nitty

            Chuck Norris references MBHP when making “bad-ass” jokes.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            The Most Interesting Man in the World thinks he’s boring compared to MBHP.

        • SC Dave

          Damn, give the poor gal a break.

          MikeBrownHadAPosse (MBHP), a long timer here.

          For what it’s worth, I’ve posted similarly (I think) in that I’m not one to pretend I know more than NFL GMs about football. But with Jerry Angelo, it’s been really hard to hold that line.

          • MB30SD

            Pretty sure Barb is a dude Dave… but that gave me a chuckle.

            Also, my right testicle could have been a better GM than Jerry fucking Angelo.

          • Barb UMihai Mar

            I’m less that an average fan as I’m new to the game & don’t watch the amateur part of it. But that’s the point…even some ‘dude’ like me understands stuff that GMs fuck all the time. Question: If NFL GMs understand football how come Pete Caroll is putting a proper whoopin on their asses since he’s come into the league ? PS: Jerry Angelo’s Chicago Bears have benn Top 10 team while he was here. You, sister, should trust your instinct more.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Just heard Peanut is out with his tricep inj even if we make the playoffs. DAMN. That’s deflating. He raises turnover margins by himself. Dang.

    • Doc Nitty

      Major bummer. Major major bummer.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        For all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that Peanut is great against the run.

    • MB30SD

      dudes… he TORE his triceps. that’s season ending. Weren’t they writing that? If not they lied to you.

      Member mario williams and his tor up bicep? Out fo the whole season fo sho yo.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        Cutler tore his GROIN.

        Time to man up, Peanut!

        haha yeah, I know, but they said Peanut might be back for the playoffs. SUX.

        • MB30SD

          guess it depends on the degree tear.

          Sounds like the nut had a really bad one, like the connection tore off the bone.

          I’m def not a doctor and I don’t even play one on tv (and I didn’t stay at a holiday inn last night)… but I’ve seen a couple happen up close. Nasty.

          Was at the gym in college spotting one of our starting LBs. Dude had a build like zorich and crazy fucking samoan like hair. He was crazy strong as was repping out with like 340 or something and his pec tore off the connection and curled up into his chest like a snail.

          Almost killed him cause I couldn’t grab it fast enough… and it was heavy as fuck at that angle… but luckily one side hit the ground and it did the domino thing where one side dumps all the weight then the bar flips up and the other side dumps. Almost killed me, but his chest looked so bad. It was traumatic and disgusting.

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            Yikes. That sounds gruesome.

            Funnily enough, the same almost happen to my weiner.

            Don’t drink around fat women.

      • NewBearInTown

        Rey Lewis tore his bicep his last season didn’t he? Just rub a little deer antler spray on there, that’ll get the job done.

        • MB30SD

          Hahahaha… good for what ails ya

  • Doc Nitty

    Bear Down, Ravens. Bear Down.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    The Eagle’s D allowed 665 yards to the Vikes. THE VIKES without AP, Gehart, and Cassel at QB.

    I think we can take them on the road.

    • SC Dave

      Agreed, but until the Lions lose, it matters not.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        They’ll lose. I actually think the Vikes in their final game in that stadium will beat them.

        • SC Dave

          Had not thought about that. Liking the sound of that, and I doubt Vikings fans would cry too many tears after knocking the Lions out of the playoffs. Unless, of course, it was so the Packers could win the division.

          That nightmarish scenario is still entirely plausible.

    • SC Dave

      Actually, it was 455. Nothing to sneeze at, but a far cry from 665.

      http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/201312150min.htm

      • MB30SD

        you and your, “facts”

        Hurumph!

        • SC Dave

          Sorry… sometimes I just can’t help it. Perhaps I should try counseling?

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        hmmm…I heard it from NFL Network. Maybe total yards?

        No matter. Lots and lots of yards and lots and lots of points.

  • SC Dave

    I told you guys my opinion of Alshon on draft day. I watched his Gamecock days. Did I expect this? No. Am I surprised? No.

    • http://www.upitpuppet.com/ evantonio

      i believe your exact words were:

      “you guys are wrong about Shea. he’s going to be a beast in the league for a decade at least. plus, we stopped him from going to Green Bay. can you imagine the nightmare of facing him and Mathews twice a year? but this alshon kid. i can’t get behind this at all. trading up for a kid who admitted to playing his last season overweight and undermotivated? plus, look at how small his hands are. there’s no way he’ll make any catches that aren’t right in the numbers. i hate to say it guys, but i think it’s time i trade in my cutler jersey for a raji one.”

      • SC Dave

        Hmm… I suppose you remember I didn’t want Luke Kuechly either?

        • http://www.upitpuppet.com/ evantonio

          i believe your exact words were, “he should’ve porked his sister before losing him to han solo. i don’t want a guy who can’t seal the deal.”

      • SC Dave

        I confess I did not hate CD before giving him chance. Suppose I should have rabidly opposed the pick though I knew nothing about him.

      • MB30SD

        oh oh oh… do one about conte! Do one about conte!

        • http://www.upitpuppet.com/ evantonio

          this one comes from the MB30SD way back machine:

          “i hate the josh hardin pick. absolutely HATE it. what are we doing wasting a third round pick on a safety when we’ve got Chris ‘Won’t Get Beat Deep’ Conte lining up thirty yards off center? the move doesn’t make sense. it reeks of desperation. i bet this pick was all emery, too. lovie was like ‘yo, phil, get me some o-line help’ but emery didn’t listen. he believed in williams and the bear jew. I LOVE THE BEAR JEW.”

          • MB30SD

            Hee hee!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    You know what I never see at Lion’s games? Juggalos.

    Does the NFL have a standing policy of not catching them on camera, or are Juggalos more figure-skating fans?

  • SC Dave

    Being east coast sux re: MNF.

  • MB30SD
  • MB30SD

    from the, ‘no shit’ file.

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000299618/article/packers-happy-cowboys-abandoned-running-game

    so were we. what the hell is going on over there man? Mind boggling.

  • Shady

    Take a step into the way-back machine. Sorry for the CN links but it’s fun so here we go:

    http://www.chicagonow.com/da-bears-blog/2012/04/bears-select-alshon-jeffery/

    http://www.chicagonow.com/da-bears-blog/2012/04/shea-mcclellin-joins-the-bears/

    http://www.chicagonow.com/da-bears-blog/2012/04/draft-day-koozie-giveaway/

    I have to say 99% of my predictions were right 100% of the time.

    • MB30SD

      Oh well heeerrrrooooo….

      How bout this gem, nostradamus style

      “MB30SD said April 27, 2012 at 12:00 am
      how about some oline emery? anyone? Bueller?

      Guess we’re going to address the Dbackfield next year. I damn well hope we stay healthy in the middle and on the corners this year. a little scary maings.”

      • Shady

        C’mahn, I said the McClellin pick reeks of Dan Buzien and thanked Emery for drafting a ‘go-up-and-get-it’ WR.

        • MB30SD

          my god you sound like my ex.

          I didn’t say you weren’t Nostradamus… I just said I was! My positive statement doesn’t automatically make it a negative one where you are concerned.

          Yes, I just called you a woman… a woman with a solid prognostication.

          • Shady

            I’m not going there, taking the high road… Look at all of our MW3 and dachshund conversations.

      • Shady

        Yeah, but you were off by about 1 year.

        • MB30SD

          that’s just how good I am.

  • MB30SD

    btw, I like tom jackson. Good on tv. Chris C ok. keyshaw ok. Berman is fucking turrible.

    DITKA… just turned to curtis fucking conway keyshaw johnson who was talking about lions going to seattle in rd one and says, “Bears are going to seattle son.”

    Boo Yah Da Coach!

  • MB30SD

    this just in…. jose flacco is kind of a douche.

  • MB30SD

    ray lewis’ sb ring looks ridiculous, even on his meathooks

    looks like he’s wearing a diamond studded plate on his hand

  • MB30SD
    • SC Dave

      “infamously” wore green cleats?!?

      What a tool

  • MB30SD

    coach is such a homer.

    He picked the ravens, ‘for the bears’

    so awesome.

    • Shady

      I hate to say it but the Lions are going to blow out Baltimore, aren’t they?

      • MB30SD

        god I hope not.

        • MB30SD

          can I change my answer to yes now?

          smfh

        • SC Dave

          7-3 hardly looks like a blowout… er, make that 7-6

          • MB30SD

            yeah, looked dicey for a couple drives.

  • MB30SD

    bullshit call

  • MB30SD
    • Shady

      Michelangelo, right?

      • MB30SD

        pretty sure it’s raphael dude. common man!

        SMH

  • bearsfantillend

    damn the Bengals punter cracked a vertebrae on top of breaking his jaw.

  • MB30SD

    flacco sucks

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      $100,000,000.00

      • MB30SD

        yeah, I know. I would love to suck to that tune.

  • NewBearInTown

    Even if Baltimore holds Detroit to 7 points in the first half, they won’t hold them to 14 points all game. They need to find the end zone or we’ll still be a game back.

    • johnnywad

      Maybe. Looks like Harbaugh has something going on D tonight. The first drive was stopped until a penalty turned a punt into a first down.

      • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

        The Lions are stopping themselves, again.

        Mega had two huge drops already.

        Sprinkle in some penalties, side arm throws and questionable call selections, and you get the Lions scoring 7 points in a half.

        • johnnywad

          True

  • NewBearInTown

    As to Jeff’s comments. He’s writing for views I guess, but Alshon Jeffery is not the most exciting young receiver in the sport. Josh Gordon is.

    If you rank the top 10 receivers in the league, BMarsh and Alshon are on every list. If you rank the top 5, you probably include one or the other (Alshon has better stats this year, but I still give it to Marshall). Everybody includes Josh Gordon in the top 5.

    Without giving it too much thought, here are 20 or so guys that can at least make an argument for being on the list (though some of them wouldn’t make anybody’s top 10)

    Calvin Johnson
    A.J. Green
    Larry Fitzgerald
    Josh Gordon
    Brandon Marshall
    Alshon Jeffery
    Steve Smith
    Dez Bryant

    Roddy White
    Julio Jones
    Desean Jackson

    Wes Welker
    Anquan Bolden
    Pierre Garcon

    Percy Harvin

    Cordarrelle Patterson
    Vincent Jackson
    Dwayne Bowe
    Jeremy Maclin

  • tobijohn

    Just ran across something interesting. If the Cowboys beat the Redskins Sunday then the NFCE division winner will be determined by the winner of the subsequent Eagles-Cowboys game and a Philly win over the Bears later that night would have no impact. So Kelly is being asked if he’ll rest his starters that game:

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/12/16/kelly-wont-rest-starters-next-week-if-cowboys-win/

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      wow. that is very interesting. For once the Packers winning actually benefits us.

      He says he won’t, but I know I would seriously debate resting my players in that scenario.

      Imagine if McCoy or DeSean go down in the 4rth of an essentially meaningless game?

      Also, it would give my starters an extra week of rest.

      • tobijohn

        The point spread movement through the week might be the tell

    • NewBearInTown

      Check out the comments. Winning still determines who gets the third seed (North or East). That affects home field advantage in some scenarios, but also playoff opponent. With Seattle looking pretty much unstoppable at home, I think a lot of teams would hope for the third seed to avoid playing there for one more week.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Loooove when fatboys INT ball, esp vs Lions!

  • johnnywad

    Mmm Hmmmm. That’s right Lions. Commence bed shitting.

    • MB30SD

      yes please!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Hahah GP’s FF team might get beat tonight, though not by Lesbo, but a kicker!

  • MB30SD

    nice tackle elam.

    • johnnywad

      Bears need two of those.

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    Elam…so that’s what a good safety looks like.

  • MB30SD

    changed my mind back. Chucky is mostly annoying.

  • johnnywad

    Gift from the refs. Now stop fucking around Joe

    • Ufficio

      The problem is he’s not fucking around. He’s just not that good.

  • MB30SD

    god damn it

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    Flacco is fucking flaccoing us.

    • MB30SD

      romoing us?

      does it have to involve throw away ints to be romoing?

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      not waco for flacco?

      It doesn’t help that Rice got old and he has 1WR.

      I don’t know how the Ravens even manage to score.

      • MB30SD

        field goals it appears

  • Big Mike

    Here we go ravens

  • MB30SD

    there it is boys!!

  • MB30SD

    now how about a fucking TD ravens. no more fucking 3s

  • johnnywad

    Holy shit. Do either of these teams want to win this game?

  • NewBearInTown

    Boy this Ravens team would really have a shot if they could just find a tough, versatile wide receiver to give Flacco a safety net. Where could they have found on of those?

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      In SF?

      • NewBearInTown

        No way. The reason Baltimore was able to beat SF in the Superbowl was because the Niners lacked a true #1 WR. How would the Niners be the place to go to find a #1 for Baltimore?

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      Flacco is elite so he should be able to push his teammates to rise above the loss of a WR. If Flacco played on the 2009 – 2012 Bears you guys would be begging for Cutler. Fucking begging.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    this game is embarassing, i’m embarassed athowbadly these quarterbacks suck

    • NewBearInTown

      Both are $100M “franchise” guys.

      Who wants to be the one to convince Cutler to sign for cheap?

    • johnnywad

      Lions are begging the Ravens to take this fucking game and they just won’t do it.

  • MB30SD

    my god these refs have been HORRIBLE tonight. inexcusable.

    (but thanks that the bulk of the worst calls have gone against the lions)

    • Ufficio

      Who’s been worse, the refs or the QBs?

      • MB30SD

        tie?

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      That was an obvious low shot. Maybe it was a make up non call

  • Ufficio

    Stafford and Flacco are simultaneously outflaccoing, outromoing, outeli-ing and outstaffording each other.

    • MB30SD

      it’s actually rather poetic.

  • NewBearInTown

    So if the Ravens win… does the kicker get the game ball?

    • MB30SD

      heck yes… no one else has done anything. Maybe gnata?

  • Shady

    Pretty sure Flacco is going to try and play on a partially torn or sprained knee ligament.

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      he can’t play any worse

  • johnnywad

    $200,000,000 dollars worth of quarterback on display here tonight. Look at that number

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    oh god ravens don’t fucking do this

  • johnnywad

    Turn it over Stafford

  • Shady

    There’s no way that was a catch.

    • MB30SD

      really, I was thinking the opposite.

      • Shady

        Yeah, you’re probably right.

        • MB30SD

          Of course I am

          • Shady

            Fuck you.

          • MB30SD

            oh oh… it’s like chat

  • MB30SD
  • Ufficio

    How the fuck was the clock running after the challenge?

  • MB30SD

    nice touch on that one lez

  • MB30SD

    fuck

  • Shady

    C’mahn Flacco.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    damn you Flacco you pussy!!!!

  • MB30SD

    oh miss it!

  • MB30SD

    damn

    • Shady

      How do you burn a TO there? Turrible.

  • MB30SD

    BOO YAH!

    • Shady

      Still don’t trust Flacco. Also, there’s no way the Lions kick to Jacoby Jones.

      • Ufficio

        Never underestimate the idiocy of Jim Schwartz.

  • MB30SD

    FIELD GOAL… FIELD GOAL… FIELD GOAL

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    Flacco you huge vadge. You are embarassing.

    • MB30SD

      give him this last drive.

      all or nothing

  • MB30SD

    oh god stop showing it for fuck sake. it was a love tap

    • Shady

      haha

  • MB30SD

    nice pass

    • Shady

      so bad

  • MB30SD

    oh jesus

    • MB30SD

      seriously

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    flacco is such a pussy

  • Shady

    bwahahaha

  • MB30SD

    phew

    • Shady

      Jacoby Jones has got ONIONS.

  • Ufficio

    Flacco!

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    tirico just jinxed it by saying that Justing Hunter doesn’t miss.

    • MB30SD

      no such thing.

  • MB30SD

    flacco’s jacked up. that knee is def hurt… or he tore a labia. No report from the sideline whether it’s majora or minora

    • Shady

      hahahah

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    nice pass fuckhead

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    jesus joe just get fucking 5 yards

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    how did the ravens fuck this up

  • Shady

    The hell are these coaches doing?

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      not even flacco and harbaugh could fuck it up. get this kicker blown asap

  • Shady

    YESSSSS

  • MB30SD

    HOLY BOOOOOOOOOM!

    • Shady

      What a fucking boot.

  • johnnywad

    Oh that’s sweet. Now hang on Ravens.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    flacco. elite. at being the luckiest qb in league

  • MB30SD

    can someone please cover #81. please

  • MB30SD

    Oh fuck yes

  • Shady

    BLOUSES

  • MB30SD

    thank you lezbo

  • Ufficio

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Stafford blows so hard.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    time to win out and make that playoff run.

  • Shady

    LIONS ARE SO LIONS. BEARS CONTROL THEIR DESTINY.

  • MB30SD

    Ohhhhh traaaaaaac

    • MB30SD

      OOHHHHHH TRAAAAAAAC

  • Shady

    Gym Shorts is getting fired.

    • MB30SD

      please no!!!!!!!

  • Shady

    Justin Tucker MVP.

  • johnnywad

    Sweet dreams boys. Two to go with sole possession of first place.

  • Shady

    Holy Cow that kick was close.

    • Shady

      gaaaaaadddddd itttttttttttt

  • MB30SD

    holy shit… crazy when NFL fucking players talk about their own fucking fantasy teams. Jesus christ.

    • johnnywad

      I thought he was joking for a second. He wasn’t.

    • Shady

      I thought it was funny, tongue in cheek.

      • MB30SD

        no, I think he was serious.

        If he was kidding… that was funny.

        Wow, he speaks 5 languages? Smart guy.

        • Shady

          Of course he’s not doing it for his fantasy team lol, he’s doing it to get PAID maing! Kickers love the dry sense of humor.

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    Season of Destiny!

    • Shady

      Sure, why not?

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    hahahahahhaha LIONS. I’m watching the post-game interview to see if Short’s level of douchbaggery breaks the Douchbaggery-o-meter

    • MB30SD

      hee hee….

      HEEE HEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

    “Touche, Stafford, touche,” Romo muttering to himself in a dark room.

    • MB30SD

      douche?

  • johnnywad

    Cutty back and rust free next week. Ratliff picking up steam and Briggs coming back fresh. This is getting interesting.

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      lol, i don’t know about fresh. his shoulder was broken but Lance would rather have his arm fall off than miss this game.

      • johnnywad

        He hasnt played in what, 6 weeks? The bone is healed. I would imagine his body feels as good as it ever has this late in the season. Glass half full.

        • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

          fuck it then, let’s party.

        • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

          It was all part of Emery’s master plan.

  • Shady

    It’s funny to think about how much was on the line for that 61 yard FG. That kick seemed to waiver back and forth for so long. Oh, the drama!

    • MB30SD

      first I thought it was going wide right… then I thought it wouldn’t make it over.

      Yikes!

  • MB30SD

    steve young, ” matt stafford is a swashbuckling quarterback”

    What exactly do you mean steve?

    • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

      he likes to drink and carouse on the high seas on yachts with bar maids and other sluts

      • MB30SD

        Huh, the castro district came to my mind.

  • MB30SD

    we go now (cut away from gym shorts to johnny h) from the middle of the LOOOOOSING coache’s presser the jim harbaugh the WINNNNNINGGG coache’s presser.

    Hahahahaha

  • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

    this is why i love sports stars:
    i’m watching sports center and on the bottom of the screen:
    Klitschko vacates WBC Heavyweight Belt as he seeks to become President of the Ukraine.
    Yup, the president.

    • MB30SD

      dude, you can too. its all pay to play in eastern europe my man.

      • Shady

        In the Ukraine, you don’t run for President… President runs for you.

        • MB30SD
          • Shady

            First ladies, yes?

          • MB30SD

            yeeez, all of zem

          • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

            You can see the plain 3 gals behind them giving the hottees the stink eye.

          • MB30SD

            the only one that looks hot in that first line is on the right.

    • AlbertInTucson

      Das Vedanya!

  • AlbertInTucson
    • Maddbearfan

      Detroit did us a favor last nite…now..can the Bears take advantage of it? The fat lady hasn’t sung…yet!

  • Doc Nitty

    Daaaaaa Ravence!!!!!

  • BerwynBomber

    Ha! I’ve been telling half of you Debbie Downers for weeks now that Shorts would choke this and we were not out of it. The bigger irony? Of the top three teams in the North only the Kittens do not control their destiny. Man, what a collapse in Motown. Thing is, I would not be surprised if Detroit brings him back for another year. Semi-good news out of Cheese land, too, in that, thus far, Flynn is the starter and scheduled to take the week’s snaps. Heck, we beat Philly, who knows? We may lock up the division before W17.

    • Maddbearfan

      All the Bears gotta do is win out and we’re there.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Yeah, that “ALL”. Against 2 teams with just as much riding on the each game as well.

        • Big Mike

          Bears playoff hopes have gone from last rites about to be performed, to stable in the Intensive Care Unit, to recovering, to rehab in the last two weeks. No small tasks, but in their control.

        • Ufficio

          If Dallas beats Washington, we’ll be playing for our lives while Philly plays for their dinner.

          • AlbertInTucson

            Huh? Wha?! I don’t see that at all.

            If Dallas Beats Washington, that keeps the heat on Philly to win out. If Dallas loses to Washington, Philly can clinch the division with a win over the Bears and rest starters in week 17.

            ???

          • George Hernandez

            I dont know if this has been told to you yet but if Dallas beats WAS, then they’d be 8-7, if PHI beats us then they would be 9-6 and no matter what would have to beat DAL or else DAL would own the tiebreaker because they swept the season series. So if DAL wins, the week 17 PHI vs. DAL game automatically becomes the NFC East Championship game. Even if we beat PHI, and DAL wins both are 8-7 and the same scenario arises. The only wrench is if DAL loses, then PHI can clinch their division by beating us.

        • Maddbearfan

          Well, we’re gonna see who is hungry enuf for the win…aren’t we? Should be fun…I hope…well..maybe…

  • Trac
    • MB30SD

      Ooohhhhhh trrraaaaaaaacccccc.

  • johnnywad

    Funny how much is riding on kickers for the Bears this year.

  • Big Mike

    I’ve said this before, this season is about experience and building a foundation. No better experience than to be fighting for a playoff spot the last 4 weeks of the season. 2 weeks down., 2 victories. Controversies dealt with – Check, Injuries overcome – Check. Swagger building – Check. Control own destiny – Check. Chance to sweep Packers to get into the playoffs – check.
    Chance to play a home playoff game – Check. Chance to go on the road against one of the top 2 teams in the NFC – Check.

    That’s a lot of experience to be gained.

    • Viva

      Watching Gym Shorts shit himself on the sideline – Check!

    • MB30SD

      Injuries overcome. .. uhhhhh… cheeee… no on that one boss. But yes on the rest. Especially viva’s.

      • Big Mike

        Sure they are. Would we be better with all of our guys of course. But we are set up to make the playoffs. That’s the goal. We can do it in spite of the injuries. Does our defense look like a “Bears” defense no. But they are improving. Add back Briggs, they will improve even more.

        So I stick with the statement.

        • MB30SD

          fair enough

  • Willie

    BANG motherfucking BANG!

    Stafford for MVP.

  • Shady

    What’s interesting is that if the Cowboys lose to the Redskins, the Eagles would have “nothing to play for” against the Bears. They would be focused on a week 17 winner-takes-the-division game against the Cowboys.

    Similarly, if the Lions lose to the Giants (and the Packers beat the Steelers), the Bears would have “nothing to play for” against the Eagles. They would be focused on a week 17 winner-takes-the-division game against the Fudge.

    • Big Mike

      OR even better. … Packers and Lions lose.. Bears can clinch the division because neither team could get to 9 wins.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Oooh! Ooooh! I like THAT scenario, Santa!

    • AlbertInTucson

      Steelers look a lot more together than when the Bears played them. Of course THAT may be a mirage because Cincy decided not to show up Sunday night.

  • gpldan

    I lost my playoff battle by 5 points. Doh!

    • Shady

      I beat Willie in one league and lost to Murph in the other. Fuxking Alex Smith.

    • 4ever85 (AKA Butch Deadlift)

      Tucker making that 61yarder beat you. That’s 5 points. Moreover, if a kicker misses, that’s like -2 points, so if Tucker misses that last kick, you win by 2 points.

      Conflicted interests. Don’t you hate FF sometimes?

      • gpldan

        It’s a metaphor for real management. You can make 2 brilliant moves and be undone by one stupid one.

  • SC Dave

    Lost among all the Alshon love is this little tidbit re: the Cleveland game…

    Offensively, the Bears rushed for a season-high 179 yards against the NFL’s fourth-ranked run defense. Matt Forte (24 carries for 127 yards) and Michael Bush (3-44) both recorded their most productive games of the year.

  • Shady

    I still cannot fathom how the Bears lost both games against Gym Shorts and the Lions this year.

    • MB30SD

      or any to minny for that matter. even worse. jesus.

      • Still a Doug Plank Fan

        Minny is one of those weird, annoying teams that shows up at all the wrong times just to piss people off, then go back home and hope they still have jobs in a month.

    • Ufficio

      It had to do with a certain coach leaving a certain QB in the game about 2 quarters longer than he should have, when it was bleedingly obvious to anyone with eyes and a TV set that he was injured and killing the team.

      We should have clinched this thing already.

      • Cutty Badger don’t give a fuck

        yeah…let’s call it 1 quarter. You can’t have 2 TD’s dropped and get blamed for it. Then to fucking blow 2 PAT’s in a row?

      • Big Mike

        We also had 2-3 bad bounces on fumbles we did not recover and a couple calls that killed us.

  • MB30SD

    hey not to be an immature dickhead, but has anyone seen Trac around?

    Trac? Where are you man? I have a burning question for you sir? It’s about philosophy… and maybe god.

    Trac, you there? Heeeelloooooooo?

    • MB30SD

      this is why you never back the lions trac… especially when you’re a bears fan: http://nfl.si.com/2013/12/17/detroit-lions-baltimore-ravens-justin-tucker/?eref=sihp

      Sorry your guys lost last night maings.

      (hee hee)

      • Trac

        Hardy har har. It’s a little too early to gloat but I accept your premise on principle. Unfortunately I don’t have any old hats I can eat so if the pussy cats continue to implode I’ll eat some steak tartar at the finest French restaurant next time I’m in the Chicago land area in April in remembrance of your tenacious audacity.

    • MB30SD

      Turning theyn other cheek trac?

      Probably what he would have done. ; )

  • MB30SD
    • Jokey

      I get that players don’t like fans to be conflicted, but fantasy is helping keep the NFL the top sport. Can you think of a better marketing tool? Players and anyone associated with the NFL shouldn’t be the allies of their gravediggers.

      • MB30SD

        I get that, but must get frustrating for players.

        • Still a Doug Plank Fan

          They probably wouldn’t give a damn but for the few dickhead fans that actually think players are letting them down and start sending them messages telling them so. Although I guess the only difference between those fans and people like me, who don’t play FF and never will, is that we limit out bitching / praising to blogs.

          • gpldan

            It was interesting watching JaMarcus re-tweet the haterz coming his way when he left town.

            I don’t mind venting about players here, but tweeting them hate directly is bogus. I’m not on Twitter anyway, so I can’t, but I never would do that.

          • Still a Doug Plank Fan

            Yeah, every word of that. It’s weird, because people spend their own time and money to invent “involvement” in the NFL via FF (which is probably a lot of fun), some begin to believe they ARE part of the process. So they Tweet stuff.

      • Shady

        Exactly.

      • AlbertInTucson

        Did you hear Ravens’ Kicker/Hero Justin Tucker talkin’ FF in his post game interview in Detroit last night?

        • Jokey

          I read his comments – they went too far. Players should play to win and disregard both fantasy insults and compliments.

    • Still a Doug Plank Fan

      Yes, And yes and yes.

  • gpldan

    I gotta figure that Zyggi parts ways with Leslie after this season.

    And I would love getting some Leslie as next year’s DC.

    • gpldan

      And since Samurai Mike is the LB coach for Leslie, he can come too.

  • MB30SD
  • AlbertInTucson

    I have to disagree with the concept of “Nothing to play for”.

    It sounds reasonable at face value, but NFL players know full well that every week, every game, every play is an audition. A chance to demonstrate that he’s talented and valuable enough to be brought back next season with the team he’s on or at least be worth a “look” from another team.

  • bmwchifan

    Having 1) a GM with intelligence and cojones (would Angelo the Clown have violated his “floor criterion” by hiring Trestman), and 2) the smartest of the two head coaches on the sidelines during the game (instead of the Stoic Dunce), does make a difference!

  • AlbertInTucson

    ” Jeffery isn’t Johnson. Maybe he’ll never be Johnson. ”

    Frankly, I’ll be happy if he just continues to be Alshon Jeffrey.

  • AlbertInTucson

    I’d like to thank the Detroit Lions not only for losing last night,
    but for losing in such an exciting, gut-wrenching and highly entertaining
    manner.

    We KNEW you had it in you, you bunch of cheap-shot
    artists.

  • AlbertInTucson

    MEATLESS MEATBALLS.

    “This is stupid. Call em something else.”

    Something like….Detroit Lions?

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