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Third Fake Pre-Game Live Blog

| August 30th, 2009

6:00 PM EST
Game begins in two hours.  I’ll be here throughout all four, torturous quarters.  Let’s get a couple good offensive possessions and defensive holds and get out of Denver without a major injury.

6:22
Re-watching Season 6 of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” to pass the next hour and a half.  I’m kinda nervous about a fake game.  Does this mean I’ve officially lost my fucking mind?

6:31
Larry David’s contribution to the television comedy is on par with some of the great artistic achievements in this country’s history.  That might sound like an exaggeration but he’s responsible for what I think are the two funniest shows of all-time.

6:43
I think the Bears need to call some low-risk, precision passes early in the first quarter.  I can imagine a scenario where Jay Cutler wants to heave the ball fifty yards down the field as a football middle finger to the Mile High fans.  A little play-action to Greg Olsen maybe?

7:03
I’d like an interception tonight.  From anybody.

7:10
Scratch that, I’d like an interception from Nathan Vasher.

7:17
I just finished a large iced coffee and am about to open a pint of coffee ice cream.

7:20
I guess this is how the whole Twitter thing works.  You just list all the things in your head.  I’ve been doing it for an hour and I’m already bored with my own brain.

7:30
Half hour till football.  And exactly two weeks till we kick off the real season.

7:42
Thinking about the Broncos fan thing.  Don’t any of them realize that there is a serious organizational issue happening with that club?  Does anyone think they’ve made a single sound decision since the end of the 2008 season?

7:50
Ten minutes till kickoff.  Coffee ice cream doesn’t taste at all like coffee but it is equally delicious.  I’m beginning to wonder if I don’t love the word “coffee” so much that it impairs my ability to soundly judge food products using the word.  I’m also from Jersey and we’re often asked to pronounce “coffee” for people because it beautifully discloses our accent.

7:53
Coffee made itself a thing, didn’t it?  “What are you doing?  Wanna grab a cup of coffee?”  Why coffee?  Why not lemonade?  Tea has never established that kind of cultural presence in the country.     

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